Chapter Four:

Castiel was right. The very next week Sam and Dean drove to the hospital in their impala, both brothers silent with nervousness. Sam's operation was scheduled to begin at 11:00.
"How you doing buddy?" Dean checked on Sam and glanced in the rearview mirror.
Sam just looked at Dean in the mirror and smiled.
The brother's pulled in the inpatient parking lot at a quarter til 11. That entered the hospital and checked in at the reception desk before heading up three floors to the cardiology wing. Dr. Novak met them at the nurse's station.
"Hey Sammy. You ready to get better?" Castiel asked the small boy.
Sam shouted "yeah!" and gave Cas a hug.
Dean was relieved that Sammy wasn't terrified of having his chest cut open.
Castiel stepped closer to Dean. We have to go prep for surgery. This will take hours, you are aware of that? Plus Sam will still be under for a few more hours once the surgery is over. But I will try to come and let you know how everything goes as soon as the operation is over."
Dean just nodded, his throat too thick to say anything.
Castiel took Sam's hand and together they walked to the operation prep room. Sam was put into a hospital gown and hooked up to monitors that measured his pulse, blood pressure, and respirations. Cas put on his surgical scrubs and prepared himself for the surgery.

Dean had been pacing the floor for the past three hours. How long is this supposed to take? Dean ran his hands through his hair and continued to pace.
"Dean?"
The older brother whipped around and spotted Dr. Novak standing on the other side of the waiting room. Dean jogged over to him.
"How is he? Is he alright?" Dean's words rushed out of his mouth.
"He's in recovery now. The surgery seems successful but we won't know for sure for a couple of days when he starts to heal." Castiel explained
"When can I see him?"
"He'll still be out for a couple more hours but once he's awake you can be with him."
"Cas," Dean voice cracked, "I don't know how I'll ever thank you for taking care of my little brother."
"You don't have to, Dean. Knowing Sammy has been thanks enough," Castiel grinned. "You shouldn't stand here and pace for two more hours. Would you like to get a cup of coffee?"
"I don't-" Dean almost declined, "no, you're right. I shouldn't pace. I could go for a cup."
The two men walked together to the hospital cafeteria where they ordered their beverages and sat down in a booth near the back.
"So Castiel, what made you decide to be a doctor?"
"That's a very good question." Cas replied.
Dean squinted at the man across from him, "are you going to answer it?"
"My entire family, and I mean entire, my father, grandfather, brothers, sister, everyone is a lawyer. My grandfather started a law firm and my father took it over when he retired and now all my siblings work there as well. I just didn't want to be a lawyer, I had no passion or desire for that. My dad never liked it when we went against his will, or did something he didn't approve of. When I told my father I didn't want to be a lawyer he was furious. He blew up on me shouting about family tradition and respect and that made me furious that he didn't, couldn't, accept me. So I wanted to get back at him, somehow. My dad has always hated doctors, he thought they were pretentious and egotistical, ironically enough. So I became a doctor, luckily I loved it for more than the fact my father hated it. I have been so fortunate to have this career that I love so much. I love the work, I love my patients and I love this crazy, stressful, insane life that I have."
Dean couldn't help but gape as the man. He was so intelligent and beautiful and passionate. Talking about what he loved made his eyes light up and Dean was entranced.
The men continued to talk until Castiel's pager began to buzz.
"Sam's awake."
Dean hopped out of the booth and tossed his empty cup into the trash, "Let's go."

For the next few days Sam rested in the hospital and Dean never left his side. Cas often stopped by to check up on Sam and to talk with the two brothers. Sam was healing up well, he was still tired but Castiel said the murmur in his heart and gone away and his heart seemed to be healing over. It was five days after the surgery and the day Dean was going to take Sammy home. A nurse had come to get Sam ready to check out and Castiel had come by for one last visit.
"Dr. Cas! I'm going home!" Sammy cried when he saw the physician.
"I know, buddy. I'm glad you're getting out of here." Cas smiled at the little boy. "Dean, could I speak to you in the hall?"
Dean glanced back at his little brother before following the doctor into the hallway.
"Dean, I was wondering if sometime, after Sam is back to his normal self, you'd like to go out to dinner or something."
Dean stared at Castiel, his face unblinking and emotionless. "Cas," he whispered. "I don't-"
Castiel interrupted him, "it's fine, I was just wondering."
"Wait, Cas, it's just, I don't know how well I can commit and I don't want to get involved and then not be able to commit to you and just end up hurting you. My mom died when Sammy was only a month old. Obviously he didn't understand but I was 15 at the time and it hit my dad and I real hard. After that, my dad was sort of absent from our lives. I was 19 and in college when my dad finally had enough and ran out on us. Sammy was four at the time. Losing both of my parents, it made me wary of relationships. Knowing that life is short, and sometimes people choose to leave you it left me broken. Much like Sammy my heart has a hole in it. And now, after all this with Sammy and feeling like I almost lost him, it's just made it worse. And I don't know how to go on from here." Dean nearly broke down, his eyes puffing up and filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Castiel."
"Dean, I understand."
Dean turned back and he and Sammy exited the hospital, Dean looking back for one last glance before leaving.

Over the next week both Castiel and Dean thought a lot about the other. Castiel wished it couldn't been different between them and Dean regretting the answer he gave Cas.
It was late at night, Cas was finishing up paperwork in his dimly lit office when his cell phone rang.
"Hello?" Cas answered.
"It's Sam," Dean's voice choked on the other end of the line, "He's in ICU."