Reason #21: Online Gaming
Gai looked at his team curiously, it was not like his delicate flower of femininity to be missing to a team meeting, and yet this was the third day that she was missing. He pondered where she was. Meanwhile, other teams were also missing members. Team Kakashi lacked Naruto, Team Kurenai was short one Byakugan user named Hinata, and Team Asuma was missing a certain lazy genius.
If anyone looked for the missing ninjas, their first stop would likely be their last, save maybe Naruto since he wasn't at the ramen stand. They were all in their homes, in particular their bedrooms, as they had been for three days straight, each with tired bloodshot eyes.
"Let's go for that big guy again..." Shika spoke up as he directed his wizard towards the towering giant of digital flesh. "Naruto, Tenten, go soften him up... Hinata, prep your healing spells and keep those lighter buggers off the two of them."
"Ready Tenten-chan?" Naruto asked teasingly as his axeman began hacking into the beast, crossbow bolts impaling minions around him.
"Tenten? I'm HEEEEEEEEROOOOOOO PANCAKES!" Tenten replied while unleashing a wave of steel from her weapons master. While she danced around hacking and slashing every inch of the beast, Naruto hammered away, soaking up the damage.
Hinata hung back keeping quiet, her shots were accurate, and she seemed to have supreme view of the entire battle, as she never had to turn her head to aim the shots. Which was good as her focus on the health of the front two was paramount to their victory over this boss.
Shikamaru smirked as he rolled up his digital sleeves. "I love the smell of sulfer in the morning... it smells like VICTORY!" A heartbeat later, a torrent of magical essence was unleashed, including a few spells that were painful to think about like Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion, but every little bit helped. If they beat this boss, they'd have completed all the missions for this server, and could finally move on. They would also be the first team to do so without being level 60, as each of them were level 55 right now.
Somewhere in the deepest recesses of their minds, they knew they were forgetting something, but the game Nations of No Mercy was so addicting, they couldn't think of anything else.
Reason #22: Mapquest again
Team Seven was lost. Again. It had been a simple mission really, head south, pick up a letter from the envoy, go east, pick up some supplies, return. So it came as a real surprise that five weeks after they should have been back, they were lost. The Hokage had given Kakashi a map even!
It must have been in that town, where they separated to get some lunch. Kakashi had mentioned that he'd had to check out. They thought he was going to an Internet Cafe to look up porn, but he had to have gone to that forbidden site again, they just didn't have any proof.
Sighing, the trio of gennins looked at their fearless leader with a mixture of contempt and loathing. They knew he'd gone there, and that he knew they knew. After all, he'd taken Sakura's GPS device from her before they made it to that town.
"Maa... don't look at me like that, I know almost exactly where we are..." Kakashi drawled out while reading his book. He'd been ignoring them, and repeating that for hours now. It was getting annoying.
That's when it struck them, the BOOK! The vile disgusting little abomination of a book, that's where he had to have hidden it.
In a blur Naruto was up and moving, setting up pranks ahead of them. It was up to the other two to distract the teacher until he was caught.
Five minutes later Naruto had the book, and Kakashi was glued to a tree. The proof was right there in front of him, it was print offs from the forbidden site, the site that the Hokage herself expressly forbade Kakashi from using for directions in Konoha.
Kakashi could only hang his head at the shame filled looks his students were shooting him.
Reason 23: Please, no more ideas, you're killing us here!
Naruto licked his lips as he surveyed the prank he'd set up. If it all worked right, it would be the most incredible thing ever done. If it didn't, well that's where evasion tactics came in.
Now it was time to wait for his victim to come along. Looking up the path he frowned as he spotted one person coming, but it was the last person he'd ever have wanted to pull this prank on. Iruka was just about to step on the first part of the trap. The marbles rolled under the mat with an almost fluid ease, sending Iruka skidding down the hill and into the bucket of glue being dumped upon him, then he smacked into a large down pillow covering him with feathers, after that Iruka fell down into a pit, only to spring out in a pair of huge orange boots, a beak, and a vibrant red cocks' comb, and the finale was that he was strapped into a neon pink bikini top with a slogan of "Try our breasts!" emblazoned on the front.
Naruto decided it might be a good time to leave the village for a few... eternities. Maybe he should have reread the prank's design before setting this one up, if he made it out of this alive, he'd have to tell the others on the forum about this.
Reason 24: Anonymity
Deep in the lair of Akatsuki, Madara Uchiha was fuming over the revelation of his great plan. Who could possibly have known that he was the true puppet master of the organization, let alone his Moon Eye Plan. That was safely stored on his hard drive under triple encryption, with multiple misdirections, under several dozen layers of folders. Beyond that his secret identity as Tobi was blown wide open. This set him back by several decades.
Meanwhile, deep under Konohagakure, another voice was growling out in annoyance. It seemed that he was being investigated for mutilation of corpses of Konoha ninja, unlawful actions, and attempted mutiny against Konoha and the Land of Fire. To say Danzo was not pleased about this leak of information was a major understatement.
While these two were cussing out whoever found out about their secret activities, the perpetrator was currently uploading video files of one Orochimaru visiting child pornography sites, to support the history files being sent in. Naruto smirked as Shika called out more evidence being found. This was the best d-rank ever.
Reason 25: . . . Well, what did you expect?
It's a peaceful day in Konohagakure, everything is peaceful and still as we pan over the training grounds where Sasuke is attacking a training dummy with Katon jutsus, meanwhile, Danzo is taking a shortcut through a corner with a chicken tucked under each arm. As we pan, we see Tenten and Hinata hiding behind trees, while a reflection off one of their headbands show the camera holder is wearing orange.
A moment later the two girls hit the ground, just before an explosion ripped apart the entire training grounds. Just before the fireball blinds the camera, the view pauses, and we pan back to see two men in ANBU masks watched the film footage of the shinobi in action. Turning towards the screen, Monkey sighed and shook his head. "Seriously folks, we're trained professionals, don't try this at home."
Walrus leaned in, while weaving his fingers together. "Ever!"
"Case in point, the trio of Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuuga, and Tenten... I can't pronounce that..." Monkey continued with a groan of dismay, "have caused several thousands of dollars of property damage, and personal injury to others, including one Danzo, an elder of their village."
"The myth of giving ninjas Internet access being safe? Completely busted..."
"Undeniably busted!" Monkey exclaimed for emphasis before ticking things off a clipboard, "These ninja in particular don't seem mentally sound, and half the stunts they pull would have been banned back at M5."
"Monkey. Don't mention our other jobs..." Walrus grumbled angrily at his partner
Monkey looked back over his shoulder at Walrus after a moment he sighed. "They know who we are, and we have one piece of advice..."
At this Walrus and Monkey grabbed the camera and pleaded, beret in Walrus' free hand. "DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER give a ninja a 'good' idea!"
"And definitely don't give them a bad idea," Walrus finished, with Monkey nodding in the background.
"I've never seen a man impaled with a flaming feather before..." Walrus muttered while heading away, shaking his head.
Monkey meanwhile seemed to skip away on cloud nine, "I have got to get some of those explosive tags..."
"ADAM!" Walrus roared from off screen a moment later, "GET BACK HERE!" A moment later, he charged after monkey.
If you want to see more of these, send me suggestions. Remember, don't give the ninjas the ideas, give them to the (ir)responsible fanfic author that controls their lives. Also, ways to get to the sites requested is appreciated.