"Jim?" Kirk heard McCoy's voice distantly and he slowly opened his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath, his head spinning as he tried to take in the light flooding his eyes. He sat up shakily and rubbed his head, relieved to find himself not in the medical ward, but in his own quarters. He breathed in relief as he sat up in his own bed, stared at his own walls, saw the familiar well-read books on the shelf. His eyes caught on his friend standing in the doorway, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw a stranger beside him.

"Bones?" Kirk asked, his eyes locking on the stranger's. He was a small man, golden rimmed glasses perched curiously on his child-like face, his eyes probing and intelligent. He couldn't have been much younger than Kirk himself, but he seemed so brightly curious that it took years of wear off his features. He stood silently, watching Kirk with a faint smile across his lips, his arms curled around a clipboard.

"Jim, this is-" McCoy started, but was swiftly interrupted by the man.

"Doctor Jancit," The man smiled at Kirk, stepping forward and extending a hand to Kirk. Kirk reluctantly took it and the two men shook hands. "It's an honor to meet you." The man gushed and Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Likewise," He said skeptically as he took his hand back.

"Doctor Jancit is a psychiatrist for Starfleet's command members," McCoy explained as Jancit continued to stare at Kirk.

"It's my job to make sure that you get back to being yourself," Jancit added and Kirk nodded slowly.

"I want that to happen more than anything," Kirk sighed and exchanged a quick, concerned glance with McCoy. "Doctor Jancit, have you eaten breakfast?" Kirk asked, assuming his 'host' attitude.

"I have not, Captain." Jancit beamed.

"Would you like something? There's a couple of frozen waffles in the freezer, I think. Well, if Bones didn't eat the rest of them yet. Why don't you go heat some up for yourself?" Kirk asked, rubbing his head again.

"That would be fantastic, thank you. I'll leave you alone for a moment with Doctor McCoy. It looks like you two have some things to discuss. When I get back, we'll start our first session, if that's alright with you." Jancit smiled eagerly.

"Sounds perfect." Kirk lied through his smiling teeth and Jancit disappeared from the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Bones, what the hell?" Kirk hissed as soon as the door latched shut.

"Listen Jim, my hands were tied," McCoy hissed back, sitting down on the edge of Kirk's bed. "After that little incident that our babysitter guard just had to report, the Admiral insisted on assigning a therapist to you."

"Dammit," Kirk let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his temples. "And he had to assign that kid fresh out of kindergarten? Why not just let you handle things?"

"Well, his faith in me is a little shaken at the moment," McCoy grumbled. "And Jancit was Admiral Henyar's own therapist for a while. Said he worked wonders."

"Oh god, yeah I believe that," Kirk scoffed. "Is that why I get the feeling that Henyar's secrets have secrets?"

"Alright Jim, give the kid a chance. I mean, after what happened, it might be good for you to..." McCoy trailed off as his eyes met Kirk's. Kirk's eyes stared into McCoy's very soul with a vengeful wrath. "I know you're not happy with it, but this is the way things are, Jim. I fought with the Admiral until I was blue in the face. Hell, Spock even gave it a try. But he insisted. And if you don't go through with it, Henyar could take the ship," McCoy explained and Kirk's blood ran cold. "So I recommend that you play nice so we can get back in that tin can and get far away from all of these politics."

"Fine." Kirk grumbled after a long silence. "I'll play along. But in the meantime, I'm going to figure out where the hell Luna went, and who's trying to kill me."

"Speaking of which, how are you feeling?" McCoy asked softly, instinctively reaching for his tricorder.

"A little groggy," Kirk admitted as McCoy started the scan. "But overall, I'm alright."

"No head-splitting headaches from a certain witch?" McCoy asked as he watched the scan complete.

"No," Kirk shrugged. "It's a little weird, I don't know how to explain it. It's like I can feel her in my head, but she can't do anything. It's like she's locked away in a cage up there."

"Make damn sure she doesn't get the key," McCoy warned as he slipped the tricorder back into his pack.

"I don't know if I can go through with this, Bones," Kirk sighed quietly. "I don't like the idea of someone poking around in my head."

"Well I like it a helluva lot better than the alternative," Bones said, his eyes welling with sadness. Kirk's eyes didn't meet his as Kirk looked down at the ground. "Let him help you, Jim."

"I'll try," Kirk said quietly. "But I won't like it."

"That's the spirit," McCoy sighed. "Now you should get yourself ready for breakfast with the shrink."

/

"So," Jancit sat across the kitchen table, drizzling a small amount of sticky syrup on his frozen waffles. "How long have you known Doctor McCoy?"

"Who, Bones?" Kirk asked, with his mouth full of waffles. "We met when we both joined Starfleet," He gestured with his fork. "Seems like forever ago."

"So I guess it's safe to say that you two have a special bond?" Jancit asked and Kirk nearly choked on his food.

"Define special bond." Kirk wiped his mouth with his pajama sleeve.

"You have a friendship that's very important to your life," Jancit shrugged.

"Yeah, we do. I don't know what I would do without Bones." Kirk nodded slowly, taking another large bite of waffle.

"Do you think, in this friendship, that you tell each other most of the things that are on your minds?" Jancit asked and Kirk's blood ran cold.

"Well I know that Bones always has a lot to say," Kirk laughed a little and took a long swig of orange juice that he desperately wished had vodka in it.

"And you?" Jancit looked at Kirk expectantly. Kirk fell silent and stared at what was left of his waffles. "Why do you think you keep things from him?" Jancit asked, folding his hands neatly on the table.

"To be fair, I keep things from everyone," Kirk shrugged, keeping his eyes down on his plate.

"Why do you think that is?" Jancit pressed and Kirk shifted uncomfortably. "Alright, Captain. Let me explain how this works. I can't help you if you don't tell me what you're thinking. No one can. I know that you don't want to talk to me. But, the sooner you open up, the sooner you never have to see me again."

"Promise?" Kirk muttered and dragged his fork across the plate.

"I promise," Jancit chuckled and straightened the papers on his clipboard. "So, let's start this again. Do you get the feeling sometimes that you can't tell people things? Do you feel like they won't listen?"

"I- well no, that's not it," Kirk sighed. "I just..." Kirk let out a frustrated sigh.

"What is it, Jim? Remember that I'm just here to help you." Jancit pressed.

"I... I don't want to burden them with my problems." Kirk said, the last of his words rushing out of his mouth in a quick breath.

Jancit raised an eyebrow and set the clipboard down gently on the table. "Jim, I don't think that's the type of relationship that you and your friends have," He said soothingly.

"That's not what I mean," Kirk grumbled. "I mean that they already have enough to deal with without worrying about whatever shit I've got swirling around in my head." Kirk shrugged.

"Alright, let me put something into perspective for you," Jancit leaned back in his chair and cleared his throat. "Picture this. One of your crew is in distress because of, let's say, he's got a rough situation at home. His parents used to beat him, and now he thinks that he can make it into space and escape them. But now, he realizes that no matter how far he goes, he can't escape what they've done to him. Would you want this crew member to keep this to themselves, or would you want them to explain to someone what it is that's going on in their head?"

Kirk fell silent once again, his heart starting to speed up. "I would want him to get the help he needs," He started. "But he's not me. He's not in charge of an entire ship. He doesn't always have to have his shit together." He quickly followed up.

"Captain, are you not a human being?" Jancit asked, turning his head slightly as he looked at Kirk.

"Well, I mean-" Kirk started, but Jancit interrupted.

"And, as a human being, are you not allowed to carry some weight and not be expected to be perfect?" Jancit interjected.

"Not when the whole world is watching you and expecting nothing less." Kirk returned Jancit's remark with a cold stare. "I think we're done here." Kirk said stiffly and pushed his chair back from the table.

/

A soft knock at the door interrupted Kirk's staring contest with the ceiling as he lay in bed, motionlessly. "Jim, can I come in? It's McCoy." McCoy's soft voice passed through the door and Kirk let out a soft grunt. McCoy pushed the door open slowly in response, peeking around the corner as he approached. "So, how'd the therapy session go?" McCoy asked and Kirk retained his gaze on the ceiling. "That well, huh?"

"I don't know what he thinks he's going to gain." Kirk scoffed and remained fixed to his spot.

"Your trust? Your confidence? A way to help you work through your problems?" McCoy listed off and Kirk gently shook his head.

"That doesn't sound quite right." He said softly.

"Jim, you know that I wouldn't make you do this if I didn't have to," McCoy cooed. "But I don't have any more of a choice in this than you do."

"I know, Bones. It's not your fault." Kirk said, near silently as he continued to gaze at the ceiling.

McCoy sat silently and watched as Kirk remained motionless in his bed, his hands folded neatly over his chest, and his eyes directed to the ceiling. He hadn't seen Kirk sit this still unless he was heavily sedated, or thinking very deeply about something. "What are you thinking about, Jim?" McCoy asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"They have to be in Starfleet, Bones," Kirk answered curtly, offering no other explanation. McCoy breathed a sigh of relief. Thinking about the bombing was probably the best possible thing that could be causing such a pensive episode at the moment. "It just wouldn't make sense otherwise. No one else would have access to the podium right before I went up there. Maybe they were a part of the assembly crew?" He asked, his eyebrows scrunching as he thought.

"But why would someone in Starfleet want to bomb a room full of their own members?" McCoy asked, half-hoping that Kirk was wrong, even though he wanted nothing more than to get the culprit off the streets.

"That's what I don't get. I mean, there's turncoats in every organization. I mean, with one as powerful and influential as Starfleet, there's no way there's not a traitor skulking around somewhere. The question is, where are they?" Kirk asked, suddenly sitting up straight and looking at the door. "They've got to have a reason for turning. It's not for the power. If it were for the power, they would've made everyone know that they were behind it. I mean, someone would've taken ownership for the attack if they really did it for the attention. It can't be for the money, either. Unless they were getting paid to just take me out, which doesn't seem likely because I'm still here,"

"To be fair, that's mostly because you and your entire crew is incredibly stubborn," McCoy scoffed.

"Right, but that just doesn't feel right. They would've taken another shot at me. Either when I was in the hospital, or any other time after. I've been vulnerable and available."

"So what's the motive, then?" McCoy asked, trying desperately to follow Kirk's winding train of thought.

"I mean, it's possible that they're trying to start a war with the Klingons," Kirk shrugged, running his fingers through his hair as he thought. "By using that technology in the bomb, there's only two reasons. They were trying to frame the Klingons, or they are just really fascinated with Klingon technology. I'm going with the first reason," He continued, furrowing his brow even further in thought. "And they've got the motives, and they've got the opportunity, being in Starfleet and all. Now, we've just got to figure out how they've got the means. It's not easy to come by a bomb like that."

"So they've got to be either very financially well off, or they've got to have connections in sketchy places," McCoy added hesitantly.

"Exactly," Kirk confirmed. "And if they've got the money, that means they've got the influence over people. Which must mean they've got to have some reason for wanting to kill me, or they've got some reason for wanting to start a war with the Klingons. Or both. And they've got to be a part of Starfleet. That only leaves us with a couple of options."

"You think that it's one of the Admirals or Council members?" McCoy breathed in disbelief.

"It's a possibility," Kirk shrugged, still lost in thought. "The other option is that this person has 'connections in sketchy places'. And if they do, they also have to have a pretty damn good reason for wanting to start something with the Klingons, or for wanting to vote me off the island. But why?"

"Do you think you're really going to find out before you catch the bastard?" McCoy asked quietly.

"Well I was hoping," Kirk grumbled and swung his feet over the side of the bed. "While we think on that, we've got other problems to deal with. Specifically one named Luna." He huffed and started out the door quickly, McCoy following close behind him. "Any leads on where she might be?"

"Starfleet's got a whole search team on the lookout for her, but that's about all I can tell you." McCoy shrugged.

"Great," Kirk muttered and stopped as he reached the door. His hand hovered around the door release button, but he didn't press it.

"Jim?" McCoy asked, his voice edged with concern as he watched Kirk stop dead in his tracks.

"I think I know how to find her. But you're not going to like it." Kirk breathed and made his way back to the couch.

"What is it?" McCoy asked, his heart starting to beat faster with concerned confusion.

"I don't think that Luna's really got a hold on my brain," Kirk explained as he made himself comfortable in the center of the couch. "I mean, the way she explained it, the connection between our souls kind of seems like a two-way street. Maybe I can get to her and see what she's doing. I did it a little bit before, but on accident. Remember that time at the medical ward where I completely blanked?"

"Hang on a second," McCoy threw up his hands in protest. "You told me that she's locked up in a little room in the corner of your brain. You really want to let her loose just so we can find out where she is?"

"If it's our only chance to find her, I'm willing to take the risk. Besides, last time, she didn't even notice that I was watching her. Maybe I can pull that off again." Kirk settled into the couch, tucking his legs into a neat criss-cross underneath him.

"You're right, I'm not happy about it," McCoy grumbled. "I don't want to have to deal with your fallout if something goes wrong. And don't you think for a second that I'm not upset that you didn't tell me what you saw in that little episode of yours in the medical ward. You're supposed to tell me everything." He growled.

"Right. Well, from now on, I will. But right now, I've got to find out where she's hiding. I can't let anyone else get hurt because of her." Kirk looked deep into McCoy's eyes and pleaded. "Are you going to let me go through with this?"

"Fine," McCoy finally replied after a long silence. "But you'd better lock her right back up when you're done snooping," He warned and a small smile formed on Kirk's lips.

"I promise," He chuckled softly. "Well, here goes nothing." He sucked in a deep breath and let his eyes fall closed. He let out the breath slowly and a bright white light came over his vision once again.

/

Geez, long time no update! I'll try and be better, I'm so sorry! This story is not quite progressing the way that I'd like, but I'm going to keep on trudging through. I hope you'll bear with me as I try and work through it... Anyway, thanks for reading!

-buckminsterbarnes