The water from above drips into the buckets below, the lonely splash echoes throughout my room, consuming my sense of audio.
The text of words infront of my very eyes, hurt, it hurts so much yet i can't stop typing because this story is the resemblance of myself, without a womb a newborn won't be given life.
Basically this is how i feel when i write stories, with a leak in my room, no sound, only the lonely text there to keep me company.
I realized something, No matter what reviews i get, even if it's negative or positive i'll write this story MY way, i've been so nervous that i would've made people hate it that i simply won't care anymore, i won't let reviews weight me down when i have to enjoy myself while making these chapters, therefore i don't care anymore, i was so pent up about making a story to everyone, but i figured that i wouldn't have fun that way, that's why i'll make the story my way regardless of people's opinions, i'll write without worrying ever again!
Sorry, just wanted to say my feelings out loud, because i was afraid i would've been taking a path in this in a wrong direction, but i shouldn't worry about that, rather do it so mostly i am satisfied with it.
Enough of that, time to start the story!
Writers note - Chaotic ~
-Chapter Start-
Kaneki slowly rose to his feet. He could feel a weight on his body but what was this feeling? He shrugged it off.
''So, what's your name?'' Compa asked, still smiling brightly.
It gave Kaneki warmth inside. She felt like a motherly figure, reminded him of his mother which was relieving to see.
''Kaneki Ken,'' he answered, trying to put on his best smile.
''S-so, you're alright, that's good'' said a voice from behind Kaneki.
He turned around to see Noire sitting on a big log. He noticed something and looked more closely at Noire. Did she always have such watery eyes? No...had she cried?
''Noire, are you oka-''
Before he could finish Noire interrupted him ''It's nothing...I'm fine.'' She looked away from Kaneki.
''I see; so you were worried about me'' he thought to himself. He had seen the worry and the fear of losing someone in her eyes right before she looked away.
Kaneki chuckled softly. ''Dammit Noire, you're just like me after all,'' he said, smiling at Noire.
Noire didn't say anything. She just stared momentarily at Kaneki, then blushed and looked away.
''You two are so cute!'' Compa blurted out, laughing lightly.
This made Noire stand up and begin to walk away.
''Where are you going, Noire?'' Kaneki asked.
''I-I'm going ahead first; I'll wait for you at the entrance to the city!'' she answered hurriedly, while she began to run back the route to the city.
Kaneki couldn't help but sigh, then turned to Compa. ''So, why are you here? And what's with the syringe on your back?'' Kaneki wanted answers.
''First of all, I'm a nurse, and I'm here on a mission!'' she said, striking a cheerful pose.
''A mission?'' Kaneki asked, puzzled.
''Yep! I needed to gather a certain flower for nursing ingredients. It only grows here in Lastation'' Compa began to fiddle in her pocket.
''What is the flower's name? And what does it look like?'' Kaneki asked, curiously.
Compa took out a small dark-blue star-shaped flower that would occasionally shimmer lightly if stared upon long enough. It was something Kaneki had never seen before.
''This flower's ability is life-saving. It stops internal bleeding from worsening by closing the wounds inside the body. It's name is Fictial.''
''How nice...'' Kaneki muttered to himself.
Kaneki had already begun to walk in the opposite direction, aiming to get back to the city and meet up with Noire.
''Um, hey..'' but Compa's tentative comment made him stop to listen to her words.
''I saw your battle before. What i want to know is, what were those red pulsating things on your back?'' Compa walked past him, spun around and stared directly at Kaneki.
Kaneki didn't say anything. He stayed quiet. He didn't want anyone except for the Goddesses to know that he was a ghoul. Involving the public and the citizens of cities would result in a mass chaos, if they knew what a ghoul was.
''Is it supposed to be some kind of secret?'' Compa asked, staring earnestly at Kaneki.
All Kaneki could do was nod his head slowly.
''Sorry...it's not really something I'm proud of, but it has to stay as a secret.'' Kaneki tried to say this without revealing his hatred of everything he'd been through.
''Why?'' Compa asked, puzzled.
Again, Kaneki stayed quiet. He didn't want to explain more than necessary.
After a certain period of time was spent with Kaneki and Compa just idly standing and staring at each other, Compa broke the silence first.
''Fine, then!'' she said cheerfully. ''I'll let it stay as a secret. But I want one thing in return!'' Compa smiled radiantly.
''W-what is it?'' Kaneki asked nervously, wondering what it could be.
''You'll be taking me with you!'' she answered, bouncing up and down like an excited child.
''Why do you want to come along with us? I don't even know this city that well.'' Kaneki was utterly confused by Compa's request, but were there any ulterior motives behind it?
''Well, I don't know this city that well, either. But then we'd be like a dynamic duo!'' Compa ran over to Kaneki and grabbed his arm with both of hers.
''W-what the...'' Before Kaneki could say anything, Compa was already literally dragging him towards the direction back to the city.
''I hope you'll take care of me Kaneki! You, me, and that girl - Noire was her name?, we'll be a super great bunch!'' She giggled while talking.
''Fine, then.'' After the fight he and Noire had had earlier, he didn't have the strength to complain. The least Kaneki was hoping for was she would hold onto her words and keep the secret of his Ghoul side.
Yet again, the feeling of heaviness was taking a toll on his body. What was it? As Kaneki paid more and more attention to it, he began to recognize what it was, and it left him pale. It was his hunger slowly coming back. He had no choice but to find a corpse or a body soon or at nightfall.
''A ghoul starving is worse than hell.'' The words of Touka were echoing; he had to do something about it.
As they were walking towards the outskirts of the city, he saw Noire waiting for them.
''Hey! What took you so long?'' she shouted, sounding irritated to wait.
''Sorry. We just had a small discussion, but it's all done now. Right, Compa?'' Kaneki glanced at Compa.
''Yep, yep!'' Compa responded cheerfully.
Noire sighed. ''all right, then, where to now?'' She had no idea where to go.
''I've got an idea. Let's go to the small cafeteria I found earlier,'' Kaneki proposed.
''A cafeteria?'' Noire asked, confused.
''Yeah. It's actually the place I got the whole order about defeating that large monster.'' Kaneki smiled sheepishly at Noire, trying to sound reassuring.
''Sure. I don't have anything better to do. Let's go, then.'' Noire said, staring at Kaneki, readying herself to go.
Kaneki looked at Compa.
''It'll be fun, lead the way,'' Compa replied, pointing at Kaneki, then directly at the town.
''Alrighty.'' Kaneki began slowly walking towards the city with both Noire and Compa behind him. Before he could forget, he equipped his mask yet again. Compa was confused as to this and wanted her curiosity satisfied.
''What's the mask for, Kaneki?''
Kaneki didn't look back even once. He just stared into the massive city that lay in front of him and said, ''It's a secret,'' as he walked into town.
They went through town in search of Chian's Cafeteria.
- 16 minutes later -
''There it is,'' Kaneki said, with both Noire and Compa strolling behind him.
Before he opened the door, he noticed that it had gotten a bit darker. He looked up into the sky and saw that the sun was already ever so slowly descending. Nightfall would soon come and his chance for nourishment would be upon tonight.
''Anything wrong, Kaneki?'' Noire asked.
''Nah. It's nothing,'' Kaneki answered, pushing the door open and walking inside.
As he stepped in, he saw Chian sitting in one of the chairs and looking at him with wide eyes. Was she always in this cafeteria alone?
''Ooohhh, you're actually back!'' Chian leaped up from the chair and hurried herself behind the counter, placing both her elbows on the small, wide wooden table, while resting her chin in both her hands.
''So, did you defeat the monster?'' Chian beamed a bright smile, thrilled that Kaneki had made it back alive.
''Heh. I'm here, and I'm still standing. Do you think it's still alive?'' Kaneki said, sounding a bit overconfident, but unable to resist the urge to brag.
''Hey, no fair! You wouldn't be alive if I hadn't been there!'' Noire proclaimed, pouting and trying her best to make Kaneki feel guilty.
''Hehe,'' Kaneki lightly chuckled.
He patted Noire's head for fun, before taking his mask off, and placing himself down in one of the chairs to rest. He had no idea what to do now, so he began to look a bit sullen.
Chian lifted her head from her hands and asked, ''Why the long face, Kaneki? Something wrong?''
He had no idea what to do now, so he decided to spill the beans.
''Well...yeah, kind of. I was originally here on a mission to find this thing...something called Avenir. But I haven't had luck on my side, so I have no information yet,'' Kaneki said, looking downwards with a gloom expression.
This made both Noire's eyes and Chian's eyes widen ''Avenir!?'' they both shouted almost instantly.
Kaneki almost fell off his chair from their loud shouting. He closed his eyes, reopened them and asked, ''Please...tell me everything you know.''
And so Kaneki went through hearing everything what Noire and Chian had to say, about how they were an evil organization that were slowly taking control of Lastation, and trying to keep the Goddess/CPU in check, Noire explained that they had already taken over the Basilicom which was understandable from Kaneki's encounter, they continued to talk about how Avenir was turning the wild life and forests to deserts and polluted areas, when they were done Kaneki glanced outside a nearby window, it was nighttime.
He turned his head towards Chian and asked ''what do we do about Avenir?''
Chian had a sparkle in her eye which indicated she had a plan.
''Well if I get going tonight, I could turn you three in as applications and deliver them to Avenir for you to work with them.'' she explained.
But Kaneki didn't realize the plan at first thought ''Work for them? What's tha-''
''Undercover'' Noire said firmly, making Kaneki realize what the plan was and taking his question back.
''Alright then'' Kaneki replied, stretching his arms out ''Then that's the plan B, we initiate it tomorrow.'' he finally had a plan to follow.
Compa was cramped up in the corner of the Cafeteria on the verge of sleeping.
However she woke up in an instant when Chian clapped her hands together and called out ''What do you all want for dinner? don't worry you helped me today, so i'll provide a bed and food for you, the bedrooms are up those stairs.'' she said glancing towards Kaneki for making a job well done.
Kaneki waved his hands like an apologetic gesture ''now now i'm thankful for the offer but i'm really not that hungry, rather give dinner to Noire and Compa'' he said, sheepishly.
''Are you sure? you'll need a lot of protein for your body, you know?'' Chian asked, taking out three cup noodles which was their dinner.
''Now that i think about it...You haven't eaten at all while we were together did you?'' Noire said, looking wonderingly at Kaneki.
''Are you okay?'' Compa asked, looking as dense and distant as ever at Kaneki.
Soon Chian, Noire and Compa was all three looking at Kaneki with worried looks and bitten lips, they were obviously concerned for him.
Kaneki raised himself from the chair and tried to look as reassuringly as possible ''Don't worry, i'm completely fi-''
Before Kaneki managed to finish his sentence he began to feel pain, a pain that couldn't be satisfied without doing a certain thing, he held both his arms around his stomach while falling to his knees, the pain and feeling of emptiness in his stomach was unbearable, it was a nightmare for ghouls, soon after his stomach emitted a giant growl, making it clear that they all knew Kaneki was hungry.
''That's it'' Noire said stubbornly, she grabbed Kaneki's left arm helping him back on his feet ''you'll eat or else i'll have to shove the food inside your mouth myself!'' she stated while blushing thinking of how that would look.
''Take this to him'' Chian spoke, handing a cup noodle that was finished to Compa, Kaneki raised his head from looking down to towards the cup noodle approaching, soon it was infront of him and Compa gestured with the chopsticks that he should open his mouth.
As it was infront of him he began sniffing and was just barely holding his vomit back.
''Ugh...it smells like a dead rotten rat, and a mix of an overused shoe'' Kaneki wanted to escape and he wanted to do it now!
As the chopsticks with the noodles on it approached, He yanked the arm which Noire held upwards then downwards making her momentarily open so he could get his arm free.
He dodged past Compa, around Chian and stopped at the beginning of the stairs to the second floor where the bedrooms would be.
''If it's alright...then i'll just go to bed, i'm not that hungry anyway'' Kaneki said, before sprinting up the stairs.
''Kaneki?!'' Chian shouted with concern in her voice.
''I'll try to talk to him'' Compa proposed.
Noire held her hand out infront of Compa blocking her path.
''I'll talk to him'' she answered firmly, before sprinting up the stairs after Kaneki.
Kaneki slammed the bedroom door shut behind him, locking the door and slowly stepping away from it.
He could feel it creeping up and the dark thoughts of his mind crept slowly into volume inside his head ''meat...meat...meat...meat..meat..meat meat meat meat meat mEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!''
He fell to his knees slamming his head against the floor, struggling to hold himself in control.
Suddenly he stopped, he heard two light knocks on the door ''Kaneki? let me in, i'm worried about you, please tell me you're okay!''
Noire was clearly concerned for Kaneki, she had absolutely no idea what happend to Kaneki and why he began to behave like he did.
Slowly but surely she began to hear light steps that was walking towards the door from within, the door unlocked,
''Kaneki?'' Noire asked, hoping to see Kaneki in still one piece.
It didn't take her long to realize only his head had popped out, and she took a couple of steps backwards upon seeing what she saw, Kaneki's ghoul eye had appeared and it looked like he was barely managing to hold onto the door.
''Noire'' He whispered, in a tone of desperation and sorrow, ''I'll need to tell you how ghouls get nourishment'' Kaneki looked at Noire with tears in his eyes.
''I'll listen to every word you have to say'' Noire said, feeling the need to help her new friend which was in such an unbearable state, before she knew it she actually liked hanging around Kaneki, which is why, she'd still help him now.
Damn this chapter took long to complete.