Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.

Synopsis: Set at the start of Season One, Dean had been in a wheelchair since his father disappeared more than a year ago and he finally has to tell Sam… There'd been an accident that night and Dean had paid a very high price….one he still doesn't understand. The story will have some hunts from season one and possibly into season two…the brothers will continue their search for their father…there will be alterations to the hunts to accommodate Dean's new situation. I have every intention of returning Dean to good health before this ends…but getting there is going to be bumpy.

WARNING:These chapters can contain a lot of angst and can get a little graphic with the pain and blood...consider yourself warned. Don't like...Don't Read...

Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all grammatical errors are my own. Not Slash. Brotherly love and Angst only…

Please Review: So I know there's still interest in this little story.

Chapter 38

Leaving is a Choice

Dean glanced over at Ellen. She still wasn't saying anything to them; however the angry twisted look on her face was pretty much screaming it all. The woman was seriously pissed. She'd turned her eyes so that Dean couldn't see them in the mirror. Her body posture was stiff and uncompromising as she pointedly ignored every attempt he made at apologizing for his involvement in Jo's little deception.

Dean slowly turned his head back toward the dark road as Sam flipped on the blinker. The Impala rolled quietly up the dirt road toward the lights of the Road House and the tension inside the car could've been cut with a dull knife. It was making both the Winchester boys uncomfortable as they shifted with the unease permeating the interior of the car. Dean sighed as he realized that the next few hours were gonna suck the big one…once they got back to the Road House, that is.

The sleek black car rumbled to a stop, the gravel crunching noisily beneath her tires. Sam turned off the engine and sighed, he ran his fingers through his hair, letting his hand drop back to his lap. Ellen shoved open the back door and climbed angrily from the bench seat. Jo was right behind her mother; she glanced up at Dean and smiled a little before pushing the door closed. She did feel a little badly about getting the boys into trouble, but she needed her mother to see that she wasn't a kid anymore…that she could make her own decisions.

Dean and Sam had seemed like a gift when they'd shown up looking for help from them. But now as she looked at the broken expression on her mother's face, she wondered if it had really been worth it. Somehow she doubted it.

A bug crawled along the outside edge of Dean's window. He watched its slow progression and couldn't help the slash of envy that it had six working legs. He shook his head and pulled his thoughts from that and looked over at his brother. Sam was leaning his head in his hands and breathing slowly.

"So on a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think this is gonna suck?" Sam asked as he scrubbed a hand down his face. His eyes flickering from the slamming door on the front of the building; back to his brother's shrugging shoulders.

Dean raised an eyebrow and shook his head allowing an exasperated breath to escape his lips. "I'm not sure…but it ain't gonna be fun." He turned to look directly at his little brother, immediately noticing that Sam looked tired. "You feeling okay, Sam?"

Sam's eyebrows rose, his shoulders rising into the air. "Yeah…fine…why?" To be honest he was tired…he wished that they could take a few months off of hunting. Get some perspective. Time to deal with their father's death and Dean's current condition…but he knew that that wasn't an option. And if he wasn't careful he would start to blame himself again…and that wasn't going to help either of them.

"It's just…you look tired little brother." He didn't want to put Sam on the defensive and he knew that this line of questioning could do just that. Dean's eyes were concerned when Sam's gaze shifted to his in question.

"Honestly…I am tired Dean. But I'm okay. What about you?" Sam's eyes were bright as he stared at his older brother's surprised visage. He draped his arm over the bench seat and twisted to see his older brother more clearly. Sam was a little surprised to see there was still some discoloration around Dean's left eye, the area where the bruising wasn't quite healed yet. The familiar pang of guilt rang through his stomach and Sam found his eyes drifting away from Dean's body.

Dean huffed and shifted his body. "I'm fine, Sammy." He didn't like the look that Sam had in his expressive eyes. It meant he was feeling guilty and Dean knew exactly what his brother would be feeling guilty for. And he didn't need to.

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's pat answer for everything; he was starting to find that he hated the word 'fine'. Dean would never admit that there was something wrong with him unless he couldn't hide it. Like him being in a wheelchair. And to be fair, Dean had managed to hide it for more than a year. So maybe he would figure out how to hide something important. Sam swallowed hard as he remembered that it was because of him that Dean was back in a wheelchair. If he'd been stronger, or been able to take back control of his body, then none of this would have happened.

"Sam, stop it." Dean's raspy-tired voice broke through his thoughts and started Sam back to reality.

Sam furrowed his forehead. "Stop what?" He knew exactly what his big brother was talking about…but he wasn't going to admit it.

It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes and sigh loudly. "Seriously Sam, stop thinking so damn loud. You're giving me a headache." He watched as Sam climbed from the car and ambled around to the trunk, grabbing Dean's wheelchair. For the millionth time Dean felt like a burden to his little brother. A part of him knew that if their positions were reversed he would never resent taking care of Sam; it was just part of who he was. It would never occur to him to care. But the part of Dean that had been battered down over the years wondered when Sam would follow their father's example and realize that he just wasn't worth the trouble.

His gaze dropped and he started fiddling with the seam of his jeans as Sam brought the chair around. Dean pushed open the passenger door and grabbed the rails of the chair. He levered his body over and sank into the well-worn leather seat. It was like accepting his condition all over again…every time that he had to sit in this chair. He shook his head and blinked slowly as it occurred to him that to some extent he was accepting this a little bit every day. And that was scary as hell.

They both jumped when shouting floated through the air and disappeared into the cool night air.

"I think we better go in the back way. Sounds like things are getting pretty heated inside." Sam said as he pushed the door shut and Dean rolled toward the back entrance.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Women can be a little…crazy. Last time we both ended up with guns pointed at our chests." It didn't seem like it was all that long ago…but in reality, it had been several months and Dean was still a little surprised that they were hanging around the joint. He made an instantaneous decision as they entered the small back room off of the bar; they would be leaving in the morning. Whether they went back to Bobby's or moved onto to find another hunt, it didn't matter, they were leaving. "I think we need to get back on the road tomorrow." He ventured as he rolled to his bed and tossed his duffel onto it.

Sam heaved a sigh. He really wanted to stick around the bar, he liked it here. But he couldn't help but agree that their continued presence was putting too much strain on Ellen and Jo's relationship. They could continue to search for the demon on the road and keep in contact with Ash by phone. If he found anything he could always let them know and they would follow up. "I think I agree."

Dean's head snapped in his direction and his eyes went wide in shock. "Really?" He snorted and shifted in his chair as he reached for his bag and pulled out a pair of old sweats.

"Why do you look so surprised?" Sam asked with a snort. He rolled his eyes when Dean's eyebrow's wriggled at him in humor. "You do have the occasional good idea, Dean." His gaze drifted to silence that had finally settled in on the other side of the door…which means that Ellen and Jo have finally gone to bed. "Us being here…we're not helping those two ." He said softly.

Dean licked his lips and nodded. "No we're not. I don't wanna be responsible if something happens to either one of them." He furrowed his forehead and looked at the floor. I can't take another death on my hands. He thought.

"Me neither." Sam added. "You headed to the shower?" He noticed that Dean had pulled his toiletries out and was organizing his duffel bag as he riffled through it. That was something that had changed since they'd been apart. His brother was organized now. Dean kept everything in specific places and folded neatly inside of his bag. The inside of the Impala was also immaculate and Dean himself had never been better groomed. Sam wasn't sure when things had changed with his older brother, but he found that he understood this new side of Dean a lot better than the slob that he'd been raised with when they were growing up. "Hey, when did you get so organized?"

Dean shrugged and placed his things on his lap, before turning and carefully rolling toward the bathroom. "Dad hated it when things were messy…I guess I got tired of being…." He didn't finished the sentence…he didn't need to. As much as he hated it, he knew that his brother knew about the way his father had dealt with him. John had preferred his fists to talking. And Dean had gotten tired of having to lie to the people around them, so he'd stopped whatever behaviors were sending his father into fits of rage.

Sam's eyelids dropped closed as his heart clenched at the mention of his father and level of influence that he'd had on Dean. It was just one more thing that the man had changed about his brother after he'd left for school. Sam straightened up and watched as the door swung closed softly after Dean's wheels disappeared inside the small room. If it was possible, he found that he hated the man even more than he had before.

Granted, John had saved Dean's life. But Sam was finding that he didn't have it in him to forgive his father for what he'd done to Dean. He knew it was wrong. That the man had tried to make up for it in the end and that there was a possibility that he'd been possessed for a majority of that time. But the point still remained…John had physically broken his eldest son…and he'd emotionally scarred Dean at an almost cellular level. He swallowed hard and shook his head to try and clear the rank thoughts that were drifting through his mind.

A soft knock on their door had him padding quietly over and pulling open the large old door. The creak made him smile. It reminded him of Bobby's old house. The place squeaked and creaked like nothing else. Jo stood on the other side; her pajama's hanging loosely on her thin frame. She was staring at her feet and twisting her hands behind her back in an attempt to look contrite. "I'm sorry I dragged you guys into that hunt…and that I surprised you at the apartment." She pulled in a long slow breath and then continued slowly. "Can you tell Dean that too? That I'm sorry?"

Sam stared in disbelief and then chuckled as he reached out, pulling Jo into a hug. She stiffened in surprise and then relaxed against Sam's chest as she wrapped her small arms around him. "It's fine Jo. It's not the first time that someone's pulled a fast one on us." He squeezed his arms and then pulled away so that he could see her eyes. "Just don't do it again."

She bit at her lower lip and nodded as her eyes drifted to the inside of their room. She was obviously looking for Dean…when she didn't immediately see him she looked up at Sam. "Is he okay?"

A chuckle rumbled through Sam again at the innocent question. Man does this kid have it bad for Dean. "He's fine, Jo. He just went to take a shower and then I think he's planning on hitting the sack." His eyes flickered over to the clock on the nightstand. "You should do the same; it's almost 3:00 am." She nodded emphatically and stepped back.

"Sam?" Her voice was soft as he looked down at her; gentle brown eyes staring up at him and swimming in big fat tears. "Thanks for coming to get me in the catacombs."

Sam's eyes softened and a smile formed on his lips as he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "We'll always come, Jo."

"I know. But thank you anyways." She backed out of the doorway and pulled the door shut.

"What did Jo want?" Dean's voice caught Sam off guard. He spun around and saw that Dean was sitting in the steamy doorway of the small bathroom. He was toweling off his hair and staring intently at Sam.

"She wanted to thank us for coming after her, when the ghost took her." Sam walked over to his own bag and pulled out a pair of shorts and some clean underwear. The faded blue bag, with his own shower supplies, was sitting on top of a t-shirt; he grabbed that too and made his way toward the shower.

Dean nodded and rolled out of the way. "Oh…we'll always go." He said it like it was a forgone conclusion that the Winchester brother's would always come to save the day…and as Sam thought about that, he realized that it was true.

This is what they did…saving people, hunting things…the family business.

TBC…

Author's Note: So the boys are head back out on the road. Another hunt will catch their attention and then Bobby's got some news about the demon's possible where abouts. Thanks for reviewing and to Cecile anyone else that I cannot PM.

Please Review: I have enjoyed writing this one, so I hope that you are still enjoying it too.