[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This chapter is dedicated to MangekyoMasta510 for being my 100th reviewer and to my little addict Miss Claire Alice Whitlock for triggering my mind with her evil plans for Cheat-ward. Love you girl!

If you have trouble imagining how Bella looks like in this story, I suggest to Google the plus size model Chloe Marshall.

**Chapter 6**

I put one arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. Then I started stroking her short hair with my fingertips. Her desperate words had triggered something inside of me. Why? Was there a reason why I was married to him? Of course there was Lilly, but apart from her. We didn't really have much in common. He was way too good looking for me. But if it came to that…I wasn't good enough for her too.

I swallowed hard as I thought about the touch of her soft hands on my breasts.

I love how you feel…

"Bella? What are you thinking about?"

"Last night." I confessed, already feeling my cheeks turn warm again.

Slowly she pulled my hair over my shoulder and planted a soft kiss on my neck.

"What exactly?" she asked me while her lips moved down my collarbone.

I cleared my throat nervously and stood up from the bed, knowing that if I stayed where I was I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of her. Damn it. How was it possible that this petite girl had such an amazing effect on me?

"What you told me...that I felt good to you. I know it was a lie but still…,"

"It wasn't a lie." she told me while she stood up and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"I will always tell you the truth, Bella."

A sound that was close to the growl of an animal left my throat.

"Ali, I know that I'm fat."

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Then she turned me around so that I was standing right in front of the full-length mirror at the right side of the bed.

"You are not fat. Who told you that?"

"My scales tells me that I'm overweight." Close to obesity, I added sourly in my head.

"Throw it out of the window. All this BMI stuff is bullshit."

I couldn't help but chuckle slightly at her suggestion. Unfortunately it wouldn't help me to solve my problem.

"My own mother keeps telling me that I need to lose weight."

Renee had made me start my first diet when I was fourteen. Some disgusting protein dominated stuff that made me hate eggs for the rest of my life.

"That's not really nice of her. A mother should love her child the way it is. I bet you wouldn't say something rude like that to Lilly…ever."

"Of course, I wouldn't. I love her."

"Bella, you're pretty the way you are."

"No, I'm not. Please stop talking to me like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Sorry," she mumbled and started stroking up and down my bare forearms with feather-like movements.

"We don't have to talk about it, Bella."

I interlaced the fingers of her hand with mine and squeezed it tightly. Then I put it to my mouth to plant a soft kiss on her delicate knuckles.

"I don't know why I always want to touch you. That's not like I am…usually."

"Maybe it's because you're alone that much. I bet my brother can't keep his fingers away from you when he's here." Her light voice had a slight bitter tone in it that send a sharp pain right into the middle of my heart. She was terrified by the thought of him with me. God, if she only knew.

"Well, you're wrong. Edward never touches me unless he can avoid it. I can't even blame him. Maybe if I would look more like this strawberry-haired bitch then…,"

She raised one eyebrow.

"Who are you talking about?"

"No one…Jeez, just forget it. It doesn't even matter."

"Yes it does. Just look at you! Your hands are trembling."

I sat down in front of the bed and put my head in my hands. Then I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. I had already told her more than I had planned to. It was way too easy to talk to her. Would she be angry at her brother if I told her what Edward was doing behind my back? Was it that much worse than what I had done with her?

Carefully she put one arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to her. A dry sob escaped my throat, and I cursed myself for being so terribly weak.

"Whatever it is, Bella. You can tell me. I'm pretty good at keeping secrets."

"It's my fault." I started hesitantly. "I haven't lost one single pound since my pregnancy. No wonder he prefers to be with his skinny secretary."

"Pardon me? You think he's cheating on you with this ridiculous joke of a woman?"

I nodded my head while I felt a few warm tears running down my face.

"Mrrrrr. Cullen is in an imporrrtant meeting rright now." She mocked the Russian accent of Tanya and made some puking noises.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes I am."

"I'm really sorry about that, Bella. And just for the record. It's not your fault. Whatever my brother is doing, he's the only who's responsible for his actions."

My hand moved under her shirt again, gently circling over the soft skin.

"And me and you? Who's responsible for that?" Technically I didn't even know what there was between the two of us. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

"I, of course," She stated cheerfully while her thumb started drawing circles over my wrist.

"You're the innocent straight girl and I'm the lesbian who seduced you."

"I don't think it's as simple as that, Ali. I could have told Esme that I didn't want you to stay with me and Lilly but I didn't. I wanted to have you here. And last night, I could have told you to stop, but I didn't."

"Because you enjoyed it when I touched you, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"Do you feel bad for enjoying it?"

"No. It felt so good. Better than anything I've ever experienced before. But I'm scared now somehow."

"That you're gay or maybe bi?"

"Of course,"

Her eyes met mine, and I cringed as I saw the horrified expression on her pretty pixie face.

"I don't think that it's something bad." I stumbled out nervously.

"But you think it would be bad if you were, don't you?" She tried to make her voice sound hard but it almost cracked at the end.

"I have a child that I have to think about. How should I explain something like that to Lilly? That her mother likes to kiss her aunt?"

"Do you think that she would rather like to see you unhappy for the rest of your life?"

XXXX

I called Edward after dinner to let Lilly speak to her father. Of course he was way too chicken to tell her that he wouldn't be here for her birthday. Fucking coward, I thought while I left the living room to finish the dishes. The frown on my face would irritate her, and I didn't want her to think that something was wrong. God, everything was wrong now.

"Is something wrong? You look angry." Ali mumbled and put one hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I just can't listen to it when he keeps on lying to her like that. Edward is so good at it."

"Hmm, I know. Must have to do with his job, I guess. Or maybe it's a hidden family talent."

I chuckled slightly and put the plates back into the cupboard. My eyes fell on the small picture that was standing on the edge of the countertop. Esme had taken it on the day I went home after Lilly's birth. Edward was holding her in his arms, their hair a completely equal shade of dark copper. I one the other hand looked like crap. My face was still bloated and my eyes had deep shadows under them, because I hadn't been able to sleep properly after the cesarean. Automatically I reached down to touch over the ugly, bulging scar on my abdomen. Ali would be disgusted if she would ever see it.

"What are you doing? Are you in pain?" She asked me anxiously.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I was just in thoughts."

"Hmm, okay. But you would tell me if something is wrong with you, will you? I care about you."

I planted a soft kiss on her cheek that turned into a bright crimson color.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

She cupped my face between her hands and kissed my mouth very gently. A shiver went down my spine as the tip of her tongue licked over my bottom lip.

With a low sigh I pulled back. It was way too risky to kiss her with Lilly in the next room. I wanted to kiss her…again and again…until my lips would be all red and swollen.

"Kissing you is so different from kissing anyone else I've kissed before."

She chuckled slightly.

"You're like Scarlett O'Hara."

"I didn't know there were lesbians in Gone with the Wind."

"There aren't. I knew that, trust me."

"Then why am I like her?"

"Well, you have to know that it's the favorite movie of my ex." She rolled her eyes at that.

"Jasmine made me watch that corny thing at least once or twice a month."

There was the small hint of an unpleasant feeling somewhere deep down in my stomach. At first I didn't know what it was but then I realized that it was jealousy. Damn it, Bella. How can you be jealous? She's pretty and nice. I bet she had a lot of girl-friends. It's not like she's waited her entire life to end up with the chubby wife of her brother.

She sat down on one of the kitchen chairs but didn't let go of my hand.

"You're curious about her, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. It doesn't matter at all. What did you mean with the Scarlett thing?"

"Hmm, there's this scene when Rhett comes to her house to propose to her. Then he tells her something like…that no one has ever kissed her properly before. That's what I meant."

"Oh, I see."

I wondered if it would feel the same, if I kissed another woman now. Not that I wanted to try. Kissing Angela had been awkward enough. Her mouth tasted terribly of bubble gum and then there were Jess and Mike hooting in the background. Maybe it didn't have to do with the fact that Ali was a girl. Maybe it was something that was just her and nothing else.

"And about Jazz," she mumbled and started stroking up my forearm, leaving trails of fire on my skin wherever she touched it.

"I've been together with her for about a year before I moved to Paris. She's really nice but a little bit too moody for my taste. We both decided that it would be better for us to be friends. I wanted different things from my life than a job in a hospital."

"She's a doctor?"

"A psychologist,"

I frowned because I hated shrinks more than anything. Charlie, my father had told me that they were all secretly wrong in the head themselves.

"Don't make such a face. Jazz doesn't have a leather couch in her office. She's helping cancer patients to deal with their condition."

Then she leaned forward and twisted a wisp of my hair around her dainty fingers.

"Your hair is so beautiful."

"You said that before."

"Yeah, I know. I got the impression that you believe me if I tell you that. Unlike the other things, I keep telling you."

"Ali, please."

She raised both of her hand in a placatory gesture.

"Kay, I won't bring it up again."

"Was Jasmine your first girl-friend?" I asked her curiously.

She shook her head.

"Nope, she was just the first serious relationship I had after my coming out."

Then she smirked sheepishly.

"Was my brother your first boy-friend?"

"Of course not, I was twenty-five when we met. What kind of question is that anyway?"

"Bella, I'm just kidding. You seemed so tensed somehow."

"Because you're irritating me more and more,"

"I'm sorry about that, Bella."

"You don't look too sorry to me."

A light chuckle that sounded more like the ringing of a bell left her throat.

"Yeah, that's right. To be honest, it's kind of fun."

"Fun," I mumbled.

Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Bella, you look as if you didn't have a lot of it in your life until now."

"I'm sorry to destroy your view on things…but not everything in life is about having fun."

"You sound like Carlisle."

"Sorry, but it's true."

"You're such a nerd,"

"That's not true."

Her ruby tinted lips twitched upwards, turning into that breathtaking smile that made me melt from the inside out. God, what was happening with me?

"Prove it."

"Prove what?"

"That you're not a nerdy old house-wife. Go out with me tonight."

"Ali, it's a week day and I can't leave Lilly here alone."

"I'll call Rose, she'll take her."

"Kay,"

Rosalie would be far too happy to get to spend time with her niece that she wouldn't care about why I would need her as a babysitter.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Well Jasmines current partner Maria owns a club here in Seattle."

"A gay club?"

"No, a club for stamp collectors; Jeez, Bella of course it's a scene club. Where else would I go with you?"