A/N: The girls on fb had a ball a couple of days ago trying to figure out where the teaser for this chapter was going. So without further ado, here ya go. :)

Betad by the lovely Michelle Renker Rhodes

Most characters belong to S. Meyer

Chapter 25 – Why He Has to Pay

EPOV

There's no warning before she begins moving her head back and forth along my length, gripping my thighs for leverage and creating a rhythmic friction that obliterates every other thought. With a deep groan, I throw back my head while she makes her own deep sounds in the back of her throat. The vibrations reverberate along my cock and fuck fuck fuck.

"Bella…Bella…Baby...wait…" I pant, but she works anxiously around my head and then licks the tip, quick little darts of her tongue and then one long, deep stroke.

"Mmph!" I grunt, staggering backwards, but she holds my hips tightly while instinct guides my own movements. I rock into her hot mouth, reaching down, cradling her head in my hands, sliding my fingers inside her hair and holding on.

"Yeah, Bella. Yeah, Baby, just like that."

Pressure descends from my stomach into my cock. I glide my hands around her neck and fist the hair at her nape, gently guiding her back and forth.

She moans and flattens her tongue along the underside of my length, and the heat of her mouth runs up and down the veins, tip to base.

There was something…something in her eyes…something I wanted to…

Open-mouthed, she darts her tongue further down, and then I feel her mouth circle one of my balls.

"Fuck."

Then the other. She takes them both in her mouth and twirls her hot tongue around them…that moist tongue circles around and around 'til I'm drowning in heat. All the while, she makes these sounds: humming and moaning.

"Edward…God, Edward, you taste so good."

"Fuck," I hiss. "Oh, fuck, Baby."

My footing falters once again because my head is spinning too fast; there was something…

But Bella holds me tight. Her mouth doesn't break suction and when I close my eyes, I still see her behind my eyelids, on her knees in front of me…

I open my eyes.

Yeah, her mouth is around me…Bella is doing these things to me…and there was something…something I wanted to ask…something I wanted to tell her…something's going…

She runs her mouth down the inside of my thigh, tasting the skin there, more humming in the back of her throat. I can only manage a strangled grunt. Cold air hits the spots her warm tongue flickers over. It hardens me even more. I know her mouth feels the engorgement because her eyes widen, yet she continues bobbing her head back and forth, hollows her cheeks, sucks me deeper into her throat, and the pressure builds…

"Bella, wait…there was something…Bella…Bella wait…Bella, damn it, wait."

She pulls away and falls on her backside.

It takes a second for my brain to process the fact that her mouth isn't around me anymore.

When I look down, she's staring at me through wild, horrified eyes. Those eyes…they're frenzied. They hold my gaze for one long moment before she closes them and drops her head.

Meanwhile, my heart's racing. My chest heaves, and I'm admittedly still having a hard time thinking and processing. I shut my eyes tightly for a few seconds, trying to ground myself, to regulate my breathing, to fucking think, but my cock throbs. I reach down and yank up my pants and underwear and wince. All the while, I try to remember what we were saying, what we were talking about before…before Bella went down on her knees.

"Edward, I want you inside me now."

"We've got less than two hours…"

"That should be enough."

"…the first time I make love to you, I want to have all night…to show you and tell you how I feel…"

Bella…Bella with the frenzied eyes, with the hint of desperation. It's not her. It's not the Bella I know.

My chest tightens. She's still looking down at the ground. I fist my hair and drop to my knees in front of her.

"Bella?"

She doesn't look up, doesn't even glance my way, and I know that something's wrong. Something is so fucking wrong.

"Bella."

She keeps her head down, shoulders slumped without any of the perfect dancer's posture I've always seen her display.

"Bella," I say louder. When she still doesn't respond, I reach out, and when the tips of my fingers touch her face, she launches herself into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly, digging her fingernails into my back.

"I'm sorry!" she cries. "Edward, I'm sorry," she says through a choked sob. "I'm sorry!"

I swallow thickly and carefully wrap my arms around her waist while she buries her face into my shoulder, and then we just kneel there, over the cold, wood floors.

"Bella, look at me."

She doesn't look up.

"Bella, look at me."

Moisture seeps through my shirt into my skin, and then she's uttering more choked words, muffled apologies that make no sense, and I have no idea, no fucking clue what's going on.

"Shit," I curse under my breath. "Bella, what is it? What's going on?"

But she just keeps crying, and it feels like my heart is literally about to hammer its way out of my chest. My lungs are constricted so tight I can barely breathe because I know.

I know that somehow this has something to do with him.

I draw in a deep breath, trying to coax some air into my lungs and calm my racing heart. Then I sit over the floor and pull Bella onto my lap while she clings to me.

"Look at me." When she still doesn't, I cradle her jaw in my hand and force her head up.

"Bella, damn it, look at me."

She finally looks up. Red, swollen eyes meet mine, full of a fear I've never seen in them. And I know I promised I'd wait, but I can't. Not anymore. I need to know. I need to know now.

"Tell me what he did to you, Bella."

Her bottom lip quivers, and she releases a single, choked sob, attempting to look away again, but I hold her face solidly in my hand.

"Tell me."

"It wasn't…I…I…" Her entire body shakes, her shivers seep into my legs, and that's when I realize that she's beyond scared.

She's fucking terrified.

I'm supposed to take care of her. I promised I'd take care of her, and she's sitting on my lap, fucking terrified.

"Hey." I stroke my fingers down her hair while she cries quietly, forcing a reassuring smile on my face. "Hey, shhh." I kiss her lips, salty from her tears, softly brush her cheeks with my mouth, and then feather them over her forehead. "It's me, Baby. It's me. Don't be scared," I whisper. "Don't be scared."

I continue pressing my mouth to her skin; her face, her nose, her forehead, her hair, her neck, everywhere it finds purchase, and after a while, her shakes begin to diminish, eventually reduced to uneven shudders, and then broken sighs. She draws in deep breaths, her hold on me loosening, ebbing in desperation.

And on the outside, I'm calming down with her. I don't stop trying to comfort her, kissing her, stroking her hair, easing her terror.

But on the inside, I'm burning.

She finally meets my gaze, her dark eyes exhausted.

"I met Eli at an audition. He was the choreographer, and at first…" She trails off, biting her lip. "We had a…different kind of relationship. He was…in control…and I…" she shrugs. "He was my first…real boyfriend, my first anything, everything. I didn't know."

"Did he hurt you?" It's the question at the forefront; the one I can't- I haven't been able to shake for weeks now.

"I…" – Her eyes dart away from me - "I mean…it was consensual."

I hold her chin between my thumb and forefinger and force her eyes back to me.

"Did. He. Hurt you?" I ask through clenched teeth.

"Sometimes," she says, eyes downcast, in a quiet voice I don't even recognize.

As soon as that word is out of her mouth, I know how this is going to go: I'm going to kill him. I'm going to wrap my hands tightly around his neck and expel every last motherfucking breath out of his fucking lungs. As it is, every instinct begs me to rush out of this fucking apartment and find that piece of garbage right now. My hands ball into fists, already feeling his Adam's apple crushed between them.

"What else did he do?" I growl, my hands clenching and unclenching anxiously.

"Edward-"

"What else!" I demand.

She gives a startled jump, and her breath hitches, and I know I've got to get a grip, I know I do, but I can barely even see straight, much less think.

"My old agent, Felix," she says, her voice quivering. "He and Eli are friends. Eli got me an interview with him. Felix was a good agent to have represent you. He got me my first part. The judging panel didn't even wait until the next day to give me its response," she snorts, and then looks away again. "That night, we went out to celebrate: Eli, Felix, me and Carmen, another dancer Felix represented, who had also landed a part in the production."

She doesn't elaborate beyond that, and it only takes me a handful of seconds to figure out why.

"Oh, fuck," I breathe, closing my eyes. "Ah, Jesus."

"Eli…and Felix…they told me that's how it was in the industry." When I open my eyes, tears are pooling around her pouty top lip. "That it was normal, and I…Eli…I thought I loved him," she swipes at her face. "I wanted to…please him. I thought…I thought that's what love was. But it didn't feel right," she says, dropping her head. "I mean…you're not supposed to share the one you love."

My vision blurs. My hands shake. I feel sick to my stomach, as if I've just downed a bottle of the most potent bottle of whisky imaginable.

"After a while…I told Eli that I didn't want Felix as my agent anymore. He didn't like it, but…I started realizing that…I didn't care what he wanted…and that I didn't like or want…a lot of things. And then we broke up, and I wanted to put it all behind me. I stayed away from Felix, but I'd already made the mistake of starting a business with Eli, and then I met you," she smiles, tears streaming down her face again while she cradles my face. "And I wanted to be good for you, Edward. I wanted to make believe none of that had ever happened."

I stare at the way her tears keep falling, streaking her smooth, honey-toned skin, but all I feel is cold inside.

"Was it just them?"

She holds my gaze and shakes her head, sobbing openly and dropping her hands from my face.

"You kept calling me perfect, and I told you I was far from it, Edward! I told you!"

The spinning in my head intensifies. It's worse. Worse than any hangover, than any morning-after, than any tremors.

I can't focus.

A live-wire.

I'm a live-wire, shaking on the floor.

"Edward-"

She puts her hand on my face, and I jerk away from her touch because I'm a live-wire, and you don't touch a live-wire.

I set her on the floor and stand up, trying to regain some control, some equilibrium, but blood pounds loudly between my ears, it boils in my veins.

"Say something."

I'm not sure how much time has passed when she says that.

"Edward, please," she pleads, "say something."

I can't think. I can't think. I grip the top of my head with both fists, pulling hard until all I see are spots dancing before my eyes.

"Say something!"

I pivot around. "Let me think, Bella!"

Her lips tremble. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

She nods and then gasps sharply when in two quick steps I've dropped to my knees and dipped my head to her level.

"What are you sorry for?" I hiss.

"I'm sorry that I lied to you," she sobs. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth, and I let you believe I was something I'm not."

I hold her gaze. "Is that still the type of relationship you want?"

"No!" she cries, gripping my shoulders. "No, Edward! No!"

"Then I'm not sure what you're apologizing for, Bella, and your apologies are confusing the hell out of me right now."

Her chest heaves. She drops her gaze, shaking her head. "I'm apologizing because…I'm not perfect; I'm not what you thought-"

"When you sucked me off right now, did you see me…or-"

She lifts her eyes quickly back to me, and for a second, they flash with their own fire.

"I saw you, Edward," she growls angrily. "I saw you. But I knew…I knew I hadn't told you, and I'd promised myself that I'd tell you first, and when I didn't…" – the tears start falling again – "and it hit me, what I was doing, how I was…lying…"

I close my eyes and expel a long gust of air through my nostrils, flooded with relief and rage and so much shit I can't even...

"I can't share you, Bella," I admit, my voice trembling despite my efforts to keep it steady. "Not physically, and not in your mind."

"You've never shared me, Edward. Never. In any way."

I swallow hard, feeling as if all the air has been sucked out of this apartment. My hands shake at my sides, and for a few seconds, I think of how easy it would be to calm the shaking, to take the sting off and dull everything until I just fucking forget…

"Edward?"

"Just…" - I shut my eyes tight – "Just give me a minute here."

I've got to get hold of myself here, I know I do. The problem is I don't know how. I mutter the prayer in my mind, but it's not working. I pace back and forth like a caged animal, raking my hair, scrubbing my face hard, but none of it does any good. There's a fire, a burning inferno raging inside of me, it's in my bones and in my veins, and there are only two way I can think of to squash it, and I want them both right now, with a scorching need I haven't felt in a while.

I want to kill him. Kill him, and then have a drink, and just thinking about it…just thinking about it gets my blood pumping, my pulse racing.

"Tell me where to find him."

Suddenly, Bella's arms circle around my back, her hands flatten against my stomach, and she presses her head against my spine.

"No, Edward. No. I'm not going to let you do this."

I turn myself around in her arms. She looks up at me with that terrified look in her eyes again.

"You're protecting him after what he's done?" I roar.

"NO! I want to protect you!"

"From him?" I snort incredulously.

"No, Edward! From yourself! Please, Baby," she cries, "Please stop and think! You can't do this! Think of all the trouble it'll cause!"

"Fuck that!" I snarl, backing away from her. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

She reaches for me, but I yank my arm out of her reach.

"Edward, please-"

"No! No! Fuck that! No! I'm going to hurt him, Bella," I hiss. "I'm gonna…" – I bang my fists together, rage seeping into my veins, coloring the air around me into dank, dark, all-consuming, blackness.

"He hurt you," I say through clenched teeth, my breaths short and shallow. "He hurt you. He used you. He fucking shared you!" I howl.

"Edward," she chokes. "Think of your job. More importantly, think of Mel!" she yells back. "Think of Mel!"

I drop my head back and release one long, enraged roar that goes on and on. My fist connects with the nearest wall, and when I pull it back my knuckles are streaked with blood and drywall and paint, and some part of me knows I've got to stop. I've got to control this.

But she's mine. She's mine, and he hurt her.

My forehead rests up against the wall while I try to regulate my breathing, when I feel warm arms around my waist again.

"Edward." I hear tears in her voice again while she presses her mouth to my back, warm and wet.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeats in a strangled whisper, "and I understand if you don't want me anymore, but please, please don't let this undermine your control. Please, Baby. Please," she pleads. "Think of Mel. Think of Emmett and Carlisle and your sister. Mel depends on you, Edward. Please. Please don't lose control because of me."

My heart stops altogether. Every last breath escapes in a rush, and I turn myself around in her arms again.

"What did you say?"

Her lips tremble, but she holds my gaze.

"Are you…" – I shake my head - "are you…insane? If I don't want you?

And I fucking hate myself. I hate myself almost as much as I hate him because it hits me: I'm the fucking one she's terrified of right now. Not him, but me.

"Oh Jesus, Baby." I wrap her in my arms, pressing her against my chest so completely that I may suffocate her. Her shoulders sag, and she goes limp in my arms, crying again.

So I hold her up while she holds on to me, her touch tentative and unsure, and I want to howl again. I swore I'd protect her. I promised to be the best man I could be for her, and instead I've…

What have I done? What have I done here tonight?

"Bella." My voice sounds strangled to my ears. "Bella, hold on to me tight."

Her grip only tightens minutely, shaky and uncertain.

"Please, Bella. Please hold me tight." I reach for her hands, sliding my fingers through hers and guiding them under my shirt, over my ribs. Her hands are cold, but I hold them there. Waiting.

When she finally curves her fingers around my skin, I breathe out against her hair. It tickles my nose and I press my face hard against it. Warmth floods my entire body while my heart trips spastically. But it's beating. It's beating, and it feels her heart, and that's all that matters.

That's all that matters.

"Bella…" Her head is pressed to my chest. I guide it up to meet my eyes and feel more self-loathing than I ever thought possible. Her beautiful, expressive, and usually sparkling eyes look guarded and apprehensive.

"I love you, Bella. I've never said that out loud. Fuck, I don't think I've ever really felt it for anyone other than my family, and not even all of them. And I sure as hell didn't think I'd ever feel it for some girl."

She studies me for a moment and then starts crying again, dropping her gaze, but I lift her eyes up to mine.

"You thought you were in love once, but I've never even thought it, Bella. Never. But now…" my nostrils flare and my throat tightens, "I'm not a very expressive man, and I'm shitty at putting my thoughts and feelings into words, especially when it comes to you. All I can do is show you, and I've even fucked that up now."

"No, Edward," she shakes her head.

"You think because you tell me that you were lied to and manipulated, taken advantage of, that'll change anything? After the shit I've told you about myself, Bella?" I snort, "I can't even remember half of the shit…I mean, what the fuck?"

"You're so…angry," she sobs.

"I'm fucking fuming! I don't know what I'm going to do when I see him. I don't know, Bella. I really don't know." I clench and unclench my fists again, my entire body vibrating anxiously.

She swallows and nods, reaching up to cradle my face. I close my eyes, trying to let the warmth of her touch soothe me, calm me the way it usually does.

"But none of this rage is for you, Bella. I swear it isn't. That motherfucking piece of garbage…" I snarl, "he was supposed to care for you, take care of you, love you," I hiss unevenly, shutting my eyes tight again, shutting away the images swimming in my head. "God damn it, and he's your fucking business partner, and I can't even afford to…if I had the money…"

"Shh," she tilts her head up and presses her mouth softly to mine, comforting me now, and it's always like this. It always ends like this: with her taking care of me.

"I don't care about that," she murmurs against my mouth. "I have you, and you still want me. That's all I care about."

"I'll always want you. I'll always…"

I can't even speak anymore. I drop my head, mentally and physically spent and pull her close because I need her. I need her with every fiber of my being, and her hands aren't enough, not by a fucking longshot. I need to feel her warm body next to mine, and maybe then…maybe then…

"Just…fuck…" I breathe into her hair, "I'll calm down. Just let me hold you. Please, just let me hold you."

She slides her arms around my neck and melds herself to me.

"I'm here, Edward. I'm here."

And the anger…it takes a while, but I feel it abating. Not completely, but with every passing second that Bella is in my arms, that I know she's safe, the fury erodes to the point where I think I can function…where I can begin to breathe again.

She soothes the raging demons; she always will.

But she can't always be here next to me to do so, and I am going to see him again.

And when I do, he will pay for hurting her.

A/N: Thoughts?

So there ya go. He knows, and Eli better watch his back now.

As for next week…I think you guys will like it. You've waited long enough…

Have a great weekend!

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