PLEASE READ: so due to the whole darn "I can't write all those deaths" this is going to take place all the deaths L …spoilers for part 2 like majorly

AN: hey so yeah it's been a year, I wish I had an excuse but really I was going through a lot and the idea of writing angst really stressed me out also well if you've read Mockingjay you know where this story is going…honestly it made me really sad but hey ho I'm going to try. also i'm really sorry it's short or completely out of touch with the rest of the story. :/ there will probably only be one chapter after this one where you get a little insight into Gale, Peeta and Annie.

Side note I saw Mockingjay on the 20th of November and the acting was on point. Also I'm watching doctor who while writing so it may take a long time lol.

Disclaimer: Do Joniss end up together? No? THEN I OBVIOUSLY DON'T OWN THE HUNGER GAMES.

Sorry for any mistakes or if my writing style has changed

Katniss Pov

It's all my fault…

I felt numb. No words could describe the pain I felt, every bone in my body ached almost as if the despondency has penetrated through my skin and taken over every fiber of my being. Every day was a battle, sometimes I didn't move, sometimes all I wanted to do was scream. Johanna and I barely spoke, she blamed herself, I can't fathom why but I knew telling her that her presence wouldn't have saved Prim or Finnick would mean nothing; we just held each other until our lungs felt like they'd collapse and our throats were hoarse. I felt awful that I couldn't support her through her grief for Finnick, I knew she loved him and was pushing her own feelings aside to take care of me. I could only hope soon the pain would become bearable.

It had been a few months since that fateful day when Snow and Coin met their demise, and the country was slowly rebuilding and for the first time for as long as people could remember we had a democracy; everyone is taking to the new president well. Considering we couldn't stay in 13 and 12 was not an option I even wanted to consider, so we took sanctuary in a log cabin in the woods of district 7. Johanna had insisted we didn't stay in her old house;

"Too many memories" she mumbled when I questioned her choice of a newly built cabin a mile away from the town. It was peaceful; we spent most days snuggled up by the fire.

It was a Sunday when everything started to look up for me and Johanna, we had run out of bread so we both decided to take a walk into town; on our way back home people greeted us cheerily and asked us to give our love to Annie, Peeta and my mother, Johanna gave them a tight smile clearly refraining from a snarky comment about "the muffin man", I mumbled something then pulled Johanna away before she used her unique sense of humor to scare the poor passersby.

"Why you gotta ruin my fun?" Johanna said while pouting as if I'd just kicked a puppy.

"We talked about this remember?" I sighed "while I love your sense of humor not everybody realizes you mean well" I carried on softly. The pout disappeared and morphed into an adorable grin, she reaches out and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers together and uses her thumb to caress my knuckles.

"I was only going to tell them that the Muffin Man and Delly are living happily ever after and are going to have tiny little bread children and live in a gingerbread house" Johanna said nudging me with her elbow in an attempt to make me smile; there was a brief pause before we both burst in hysterical laughter it felt amazing to laugh like that, it's been so long.

"A gingerbread house? Really? Wow Johanna you're going soft that isn't even insulting" I said between laughs.

"Alright not my finest hour, probably a good thing you pulled me away…but hey it made you laugh which is good, it's been a long time…I mean not that it's a bad thing…ok can you please stop me this is horrifying" Johanna stuttered, I leant forward and kissed her cheek, continuing to walk at a leisurely pace. We both stayed quiet for a moment cherishing each other's presence.

"I'm sorry, I know this hasn't been easy for you either…you already lost so much and to lose Finnick too…you're so much stronger than me, and I missed us being together properly but I promise I'm going to try harder from now on" I mumbled quickly hoping that I didn't overstep any boundaries, Johanna has never been great about voicing her feelings after all.

"Yeah it's been hard but we'll get through it…together ok?" she pulled us to a halt not far from the cabin, pulling me into a hug "I love you brainless" she whispers into my ear. She pulled away and looked at me expectantly with fear in her eyes.

"Wow you're a softie, what happened to you? I think I broke you" I chuckled and Johanna playfully shoved me as we made our way back into our home. That was the moment when things didn't seem so bleak anymore.