[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Gives hugs to all her lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for your support.

This chapter is dedicated to Hayley for figuring out so perfectly why I made Ali cry last time and to randomkeyboard for telling me that my writing is awesome.

**Chapter 9**

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed deeply while the warm rays of the sun warmed my face in a pleasant way. Ali was lying next to me on a picnic blanket. Her caramel eyes focused on the drawing in front of her. It was fascinating to watch her work, although it was quite difficult to imagine how it could be turned into an actual dress.

"You are really making me nervous." She mumbled after a while, letting the pencil drop to the grass around us.

"Why?"

"Because of the way you keep looking at the sketch. I don't know why but I really want you to like what I'm doing."

God, I liked the things she was doing far too much…

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. For a split second I thought about turning my head so that I could cover her lips with mine.

Then I remembered that we were in the middle of a park, and my little four year old daughter was just a few steps away from us, playing with the calf-sized dog of my bitchy sister-in-law.

"You don't have to be nervous." I whispered into her ear, desperately fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her now. Instead I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently for a moment. It would be okay to do that in public wouldn't it? My heart skipped a beat and my palms started sweating slightly.

"The same goes for you, Bella." She murmured while she started drawing fine circles all over my wrist.

"Try to relax. Nobody is watching us."

"I'm sorry, Ali. This is all just so…so…" difficult, complicated, messed up, I finished in my head.

"Yeah, I know. The whole situation sucks." she stated before she put my hand to her lips to plant kisses all over my knuckles. With a low sigh she let go of my hand.

"It's like there are two different voices inside my head. One keeps telling me to run away from this as long as I still can. I'm terribly scared to get hurt."

"Ali, please…"

Automatically I reached forward to take her hand again, suddenly afraid that she would leave now. It was so selfish that I wanted her to stay here with me. She deserved better than to have a secret affair with the overweight wife of her brother, so much better.

"But there is the second one." She continued, the weak attempt of a smile flashing over her beautiful face.

"The one that keeps telling me, that if I'd go now, I will probably regret it for the rest of my life."

Tears started glittering in the corners of her eyes. Slowly I put one arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me. I didn't care what others would think if they saw us right now. All I wanted to do was comfort her, comfort me. Find a way to wash away the guild that felt like burning acid on our souls.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked me anxiously.

"Anything,"

"Do you love my brother?"

I stiffened next to her. This was probably the worst question she could have asked me.

"Of course I love him. Edward is probably the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life. He's smart and charismatic and...,"

"Bella…I wanted to know if you love him, not what you love about him."

"Isn't that the same?"

She shook her head so that the spikey curls of her hair tickled my neck.

"Edward and I…we are very different,"

"Yeah, I know."

"At first I was thrilled that such a good looking man showed interest in me. Then, when I finally managed to look behind the pretty façade it was already too late."

"Too late?" she raised one eyebrow in confusion. "How can it be too late?"

"It's too late to leave him. I can't do that to Lilly."

"Do that to her? Bella, this isn't about your child; it's just about you and Edward."

"Ali, if I get a divorce now, everyone would think I've totally lost my mind."

"Does it matter what other people think?"

"You don't care about that at all, do you?"

She frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest as if she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. You are right. I don't care about what other people say. They don't have to like my life. I just wished that my father would start to accept the choices I've made for it."

"Yeah, I know. The way he talked to you in the hospital, it was so rude." I planted a kiss on her palm, deeply inhaling the sweet scent of her skin.

"You don't deserve to be treated that way."

"Oh and you do?"

"Ali, that's completely different."

"No, it's not. My sister was such a stupid bitch to you. If I were you I would have thrown her out of the house. And don't let me get started on my brother. How can he dare to cheat on you with this strawberry-haired whore?"

"Because he knew, that I would never say anything about that to him. It's my fault that he doesn't want to sleep with me anymore. I look like crap."

A horrified expression flashed over her face. The thought of him touching me seemed to disgust her as much as it seemed to disgust Edward to put his hands on me.

"I hate the way he makes you feel." she stated angrily.

"You don't look like crap. You are beautiful and sexy. Why do you think I wanted to make love with you last night?"

XXXX

She pulled my hair over my shoulder and planted a kiss upon the sensitive skin of my neck. A pleasant shiver went down my spine under her soft caress. It felt so good to be touched in such a careful, gentle way.

"Why are you always so tender to me?" I mumbled while she started stroking up and down my upper arm.

"Because I want to show you how much I care about you."

Slowly I took two steps backwards and sat down on the wooden kitchen chair. My throat felt suddenly very dry. Quickly I gulped down a glass of lukewarm Diet-coke that was standing on the table in front of me.

"Ali, you know that I like you a lot." A lot more that I should do, I added silently.

"But it scares you, doesn't it?"

I nodded my head and stared down on the ground, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with her now.

"Bella, please look at me." She whispered as she kneeled down in front of me.

"I'm scared too."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that you are scared to get hurt."

"Yes, I am. But I'm also afraid about the feelings I've started to develop for you. It's so wrong to like you that much."

"It would be that much easier if we had met six years ago."

"I highly doubt that, Bella. You know that I was just seventeen back then."

My cheeks reddened as I finally managed to look up again. Ali was still so young. There were so many things that she could do with her life…so many possibilities.

She cupped my face between her dainty hands and chuckled softly.

"Although I was always very mature for my age of course,"

I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her closer to me. Then I felt her hot breathe tickling my upper lip. The tip of her tongue slipped into my slightly parted mouth. A low moan left her throat as I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth to nibble on it. I loved the way her mouth tasted. Or the way her velvety tongue felt against mine as she explored my mouth, so heavenly.

"Ali, why do I want you that much?" I whispered breathlessly as I finally managed to pull back.

"Well, I bet it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm such an awesome kisser." She answered smugly.

"Yes you are…and you're pretty good at a lot of other nice things too."

"I had a good teacher." Her lips twitched for a moment but her eyes looked sad somehow.

An unpleasant wave of jealously rushed through my heart. It hurt me more to think about the girls she might have kissed before than to consider all the kinky things my husband was doing with his so-called secretary in Alaska right now. What did that say about that loveless joke that I dared to call a marriage?

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Don't tell me you are jealous now? There's no reason to be. I would never go back to her…ever."

"I'm sorry. I have no right to feel that way. It's so embarrassing." I mumbled against her neck.

"Never, ever apologize to me for your emotions. They make you who you are."

"Were you in love with her?" I asked her while she put a wisp of my chestnut hair behind my ear.

"For a very long time I thought I was. But now I know that what was between me and Victoria was nothing but a physical attraction."

"Wait a minute. Victoria? Wasn't that the redhead wife of that son of a bitch who wanted to have a threesome with you?"

"Exactly,"

"So she was with you before she met him?"

Ali sighed deeply and stood up from the ground. Her hands were trembling slightly.

"I'd prefer not to talk about it anymore, if that's okay."

"Yes of course. Look, I'm really sorry that I asked you. It was stupid. Please forget it."

I hugged her tightly from behind and planted several kisses down her collarbone.

After a few moments she relaxed in my arms. Slowly she stroked down my bare forearms with her fingertips until she reached my hands.

"I'm jealous too, you know." She whispered her voice so low that I could barely hear her speak at all.

"Of Edward?"

"Not really of him himself. Do you remember when Maria thought that you were my wife because we have the same name?"

Jeez, that had been so awkward.

She put my left hand in front of my eyes. The diamonds on my wedding band sparkled in the sunlight, throwing tiny prisms on the other wall of the kitchen.

"I don't want everyone to think that you're his. It's nothing but a lie on a piece of paper."

I closed my eyes and started to shove the fragile piece of gold down my ring finger. It wasn't easy to get it off, because my fingers were still swollen although I had stopped taking the pill over two months ago. What use was there in taking it when I never had sex with my husband?

My fist closed around the ring so tightly that it hurt the healing cut in my palm. A sharp pain went through my hand and I cringed.

With a loud clangor it landed in the sink.

"You don't have to do that, Bella. Not if you're not ready."

"I am."

"Does that mean you are going to divorce my brother?"

I sighed deeply.

"No it doesn't. I just know that I don't want to go on like this anymore. You were right that my marriage is a lie."

Gently she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me so close that I could hear her heart beating against my chest.

"That's a start."

Her soft lips nudged against mine as lightly as if they were the wings of a butterfly.

"There was never a better time to start then now."

"Never," she mumbled against my lips, before her tongue slipped into my mouth. Her hands moved down my spine and disappeared under my shirt.

I lifted her up on the kitchen counter while my fingertips circled over the top button of her blouse.

Something creaked but I was way too distracted by Ali's mouth on mine to pay any attention to it. Whatever it was, it would disappear if I ignored it. At least I hoped so, but then I heard a deep voice right next to us.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

XOXOXOXOXO

[A/N] Yeah, I know that was an evil cliffy. Don't hate me too much. Who do you think caught them?