A/N: Hey, guys. Alright, I managed a few minutes, so here you go, BUT…

I WILL NOT BE UPDATING AGAIN THIS WEEK!

The kids are home for spring break and we've got lots of stuff going on! So try to enjoy this update, and have a great week!

Betad by the lovely Michelle Renker Rhodes.

Most characters belong to S. Meyer.

Chapter 30 - Trying To Be Good For You

BPOV

Edward and I are about fifteen minutes late to his Wednesday evening AA meeting.

It's my fault. I thought I had time to get Mel's Hip Hop class started. We're getting into routines for the recital, and I wanted to get them going on one of the new steps before leaving the class to Jake. I'd told Edward I'd meet him there, but he insisted on coming to pick me up, so between that detour and my miscalculation, by the time we walk in, they're finishing up some sort of prayer, and all eyes move to the back of the room. Then those eyes widen – especially the various female ones – when they see Edward's hand wrapped around mine.

Edward leads us down the left side of the room to one of the middle rows of fold-up chairs. We excuse ourselves quietly as we squeeze through two men who shake Edward's hand quickly and a woman who beams widely at him before narrowing her eyes my way. A couple of seats further in sit a man and a woman in about their early to mid-forties. Their eyes follow our movements.

When we reach the two empty seats next to the man and woman, I turn back and look at Edward, and he nods. I take the seat next to the woman, and she smiles.

"Hi, Bella," she whispers while Edward helps me remove my coat. "I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife."

"Hi," I smile nervously. Next to her, the man, who I now assume is Carlisle leans back in his seat. He reaches around Esme and me and pats Edward's shoulder.

"Just announcements, you haven't missed much," I hear him whisper. Then Esme leans back and I hear Edward give her a kiss while Carlisle leans forward and looks at me. "Bella, I'm Carlisle." He puts a hand out to shake mine. "It's good to meet you."

"It's good to meet you too, Carlisle." He then turns his attention back to the front, and with a deep breath, I move my gaze to the front as well, my hand tightly encased in Edward's.

OOOOOOOOOO

When the chairman asks if anyone new is attending the meeting, my hand automatically flies up, though I regret it when all eyes once again turn to me. It's not that I'm not used to having eyes on me. I'm a dancer for goodness sake; I bask in the limelight. But this is different. I don't want to say or do something stupid that will reflect poorly on Edward. And I don't want to say or do anything stupid in front of Carlisle. I know how important his opinion is to Edward, and I get the distinct feeling I'm being scrutinized carefully here.

The chairman gives me a friendly smile. "Hi, how are you?" he asks.

"I'm okay, thanks," I respond in a slightly shaky voice.

"May we ask your name? It's completely voluntary," he adds quickly, "so if you'd rather not give it, that's just fine."

"I'm Bella."

"Hi, Bella," everyone suddenly says in unison. My head jerks back in a bit of surprise. Edward squeezes my hand.

"Oh. Hi," I chuckle nervously.

"Bella, we're glad you've joined us today. Again it's completely voluntary, but may we ask what brings you here tonight?"

I swallow hard and look at Edward. He gives me an encouraging smile, full of trust.

"I'm here for Edward," I whisper, unwilling to break our gaze. But then I do face forward, and in a much stronger voice, I say, "I'm here for Edward."

The chairman grins widely. "It's always a good thing to have our loved ones join us. Welcome once more, Bella. We hope to see you again."

He resumes talking, and I drop my head, exhaling through narrowed lips.

A few seconds later, I feel Edward's soft mouth on my cheek, brushing against my skin back and forth.

"Hey, Bella," he chuckles quietly, mimicking the group. "I'm glad you came." His warm breath fans against my face, sending shivers down my spine, and he squeezes my hand again.

"I am too," I smile quietly.

When I turn to my right, my eyes meet Carlisle's. He nods, eyes full of something I can't quite read.

OOOOOOOOOO

After the meeting, the four of us head to the diner down the block for a quick bite. Since tomorrow's Thanksgiving, and Mel doesn't have school, we've got a little more time to spare. As we walk, Edward texts Mel, and I text Angie to make sure that everything's okay. They've both gone home to my place. I told Angie that Edward and I were going to have dinner with a couple of friends of his – which was sort of true though I didn't mention that we'd be attending an AA meeting first. The omission does make me feel sort of guilty, especially since I was asking her to watch Mel for us for the evening, but Edward will determine when he wants to share about his alcoholism.

Anyway, Angie texts back that they ate, and now they're doing me the favor of chopping up onions and mushrooms for tomorrow's stuffing.

My girl Angie may be a little rough around the edges, but she can cook like nobody's business.

We take a booth by a window; Esme and I sit on one bench, and Edward and Carlisle sit on the opposite bench. We make pleasant small talk, and I find that I really like them. They've been married for eighteen years and don't have any children, but Esme sort of reminds me of Sue. They're a good-looking couple. With shoulder length, light brown hair and dressed in jeans, boots and a pretty, red shirt with a stylish scarf around her neck, she could pass for much younger than her age. Carlisle has blond hair that's greying slightly at the temples and a quiet smile and laugh that instantly puts you at ease. He's a psychologist, Edward tells me, and as I listen to the patient, easy manner in which he speaks and expresses himself, I can definitely see myself lying on a couch and just pouring out my heart to him – to both of them. I can't help wondering how this man ended up an alcoholic, or how he listens to other people's problems day by day without needing a drink himself.

"So what did you think of the meeting?" Carlisle asks me while we eat our meals.

I set my fork down. "It was…different from what I'd expected."

"What did you expect?" He holds my gaze intently, but his eyes are gentle and calming.

"I…" I bite my lip thoughtfully. "I guess I expected a lot of sadness, sort of a…heavy-hearted atmosphere," I admit. "A lot of people talking about their hard times."

"We do have a lot of those nights," he grins. "We talk about our problems, about our temptations, and about our triggers." He sighs. "But we also talk about the good things in our lives, about everyday things, about the things that make us feel good," – he looks over at his wife, and they share a look for a couple of seconds – "about the things that make us better than we used to be."

"I'm glad your first meeting was a positive one," Esme chuckles sweetly. "It was a good initiation."

"Are you an alcoholic too?" I ask her.

"No," she shakes her head, still smiling. "I met Carlisle when I was twenty years old, and he was twenty-two. We went to college together. We dated a couple of times, but…he was a heavy drinker. One night he came to pick me up for our date, but he was drunk, and my father wouldn't let me leave the house with him. Carlisle insulted him…badly…and then the next morning he apologized profusely. Though I forgave him, my family didn't. So we dated behind their backs for a while, but it was hard, especially since his drinking just got worse. And then one day, I couldn't take it anymore," she says with a shake of her head. "He was no good for himself or for me, and I wasn't doing him any favors by accepting him the way he was. It broke my heart, but I had to let him go."

"So you broke up?" I ask, shocked.

"For three years," Carlisle confirms. "About a year after Esme left me, I hit rock bottom. At that point, I knew I had to make a change unless I wanted to end up dead in some dark alley," Carlisle says. "My family kicked me out, I was close to getting kicked out of school, and Esme wouldn't speak to me…" he sighs. "I sought out help and was put in contact with a twelve-step program, but it was hard," he nods slowly. "So hard at first that I wasn't sure I'd make it. It was a couple of years before I was at a point where I'd forgiven myself enough to reach out for Esme, where I thought I could be a blessing instead of a burden on her life. But I was lucky. She was willing to give me another chance. I lost a lot of friends and even family, people who had a hard time believing I could change, but those are the casualties of this disease, and as I tell Edward," – he smiles at Edward – "all we can do is take it one day at a time."

I don't realize how hard I'm squeezing Edward's hand across the table until I see the nail indentations over his knuckles. I can tell by the solemn look on his face that he's heard this story before.

"Sorry," I mouth, loosening my hold.

He shakes his head silently, gripping me tighter.

Esme reaches out and puts her hand over both mine and Edward's.

"It's not easy, and Carlisle and I wouldn't be doing anyone favors if we sat here and claimed that it was," she says, looking first at Edward and then me. "In this type of relationship, there are adjustments that both partners have to make, sacrifices both have to be willing to take. And there are days…with moods and tempers on both ends…" she trails off, sighing. "But if it's worth it to both parties in the relationship, then it's a beautiful and precious thing, and it does get easier," she stresses, looking at Edward again.

He keeps his head down, staring at our hands.

OOOOOOOOOO

Afterwards, we chat some more, and the mood lightens again. I can tell that both Carlisle and Esme are very fond of Edward. They look at him with this…pride in their eyes, and it's so bittersweet to witness. I wonder if he even realizes how much they seem to care for him.

When the waitress drops off the check, Edward reaches for it first, but Esme beats him to it.

"Just because we're women doesn't mean we have slower reflexes," Esme teases. She smiles at me. "Does it, Bella?"

"No, it doesn't," I laugh.

Edward tries to argue with Esme about paying, but she's adamant, and I can tell Edward respects her too much to keep at it. He relents, with a small scowl on his face.

Esme laughs at him again, grabbing his arm as she stands. "Come on; be a gentleman and walk to the register with me."

"I'll be right back," he mutters to me as he gets up.

I shake my head as he leaves. "So stubborn."

"That he is. But he's a good guy," Carlisle sighs, watching Esme and Edward walk away. "Esme and I care about him a lot."

"I can tell."

He looks at me, taking a sip from his glass of water. "He's come a long way in the past few months, Bella. It's not an easy road, especially in the first year when his main focus needs to be on his own well-being. It might sound selfish, but in the long-run, it's the only way he'll be able to be there for those that he cares about and that count on him. Under normal circumstances, in a…relationship, the giving should be equal, but unfortunately, at this stage of sobriety, it's hard for that to be the case. That's why it's usually not a good idea for someone in the beginning of recovery to begin a relationship. His main focus shouldn't be on making a relationship work, but on making his sobriety work."

I hold his gaze steadily. "You're saying that our relationship isn't a good idea right now."

He cocks his head sideways, his eyes moving to Edward and his wife again before returning to me. "What would you say if I were saying that?"

I take a deep breath, straightening my back. "I would say that I'm sorry you feel that way, and that if it does take more on my part, then I'll give more."

He sits back, watching me and then grins. "Bella, everyone's case is different. In my case, I would've been no good for Esme that first year. I was too confused, too erratic. In Edward's case…he seems…calmer lately."

I snort. "We have our…issues, Carlisle. I have issues, and sometimes I worry that my issues may end up hurting him."

And there it is, my main worry spelled out for Edward's sponsor.

But Carlisle just shakes his head. "There will always be issues, Bella. In an ideal world, none of them would rear their ugly heads until Edward was further into his recovery, but the world isn't ideal. He's determined, and you seem determined too, and as Esme said earlier, as long as you both think it's worth it, your relationship can be a beautiful thing."

OOOOOOOOOO

Edward and Mel both stay over for the first time that night. The three of us are going to his sister's house early tomorrow to spend some time with them before we come back to my place for our own little Thanksgiving dinner, so really there's no point in the three of us separating tonight.

And the truth is, we don't want to separate; not Edward from me or me from Edward or me from Mel. Something's happened in the past couple of weeks; that bond that started forming a couple of months ago between the three of us seems to be growing exponentially.

Mel is really excited to stay over, and it makes me smile to see her prance all over the place like she owns it. She's comfortable; she lies on the couch and scrolls through the TV, opens the fridge and grabs a snack and a drink, cleans up after herself.

The three of us are getting a few things prepped for dinner tomorrow, and Mel and I are laughing at her uncle's lack of grace in the kitchen. How a man that wields screw guns and hammers and saws with such grace can't even peel a potato is beyond me. So we're ganging up on him when his cell phone vibrates. He leans against the counter, making faces at me while he talks to Emmett, but then he frowns and walks out of the kitchen. A couple of minutes later, he calls my name.

I wipe my hands and go meet him in the living room. He's leaning against the back of the couch now, one of his hands wrapped around his wrist and his cell phone in the other.

"That was Emmett. I've got to go into work tomorrow."

"What? But tomorrow's Thanksgiving!"

He stares at me blankly, but I see something in his eyes. "I realize it's Thanksgiving, Bella, but I have to go into work. Apparently, the owners have something they need to discuss with us," he says, his voice strangely inflectionless. "Something about changes that may need to be made to the plans, and they don't want it to delay the end of the project."

"What fucking changes?" I ask, bewildered.

He sighs heavily and rakes a hand down his face before pushing himself off the couch and turning away from me.

"Does it really matter? We've got a deadline to keep. These lofts have to be completed in a little over a month, and we can't fall behind schedule now."

"Does my dad-"

"Your dad will be there too."

I stare at his back, my chest heaving, and then I stalk to the side table next to the couch and pick up the phone, searching quickly for the presetting to my dad's number.

Edward takes the phone away from me and ends the call before it can go through.

"What are you doing?" he says, but now there's an edge to his tone.

"I'm calling my father. This is bullshit." I try to take the phone from him but he holds it out of my reach.

"Bella, stop."

"Give me the phone, Edward," I try to take it but he holds it behind him.

"Stop, Bella."

"Give me the phone!"

"Damn it, stop!" he half growls, half hisses. I look up into his dark eyes, startled. He dips his face close to mine. "What are you going to do, huh?" he hisses lowly. "Call my boss and tell him that I can't work on Thanksgiving? You're going to take care of this for me too?"

"The way you want to take care of all my problems with Eli?" I snap back.

He jerks his head back. "We're gonna fight about this?"

I step back. My heart races frantically. My throat constricts. "This is bullshit," I repeat, my voice shaking. "Total bullshit."

"Bullshit or not, Bella, it's my job, and I have to go. It should only be for a couple of hours in the morning. You and Mel can go to my sister's, and I'll meet you over there when I'm done."

Something like a furious whimper escapes from my lips. "Let me call him and find out-"

"Bella…" he sighs in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "Emmett says that your father's pissed off about this too, Bella. This isn't coming from him."

It takes me a few seconds to put it together.

"Fucking Eli."

"The owners," Edward snorts. "I'm going into work tomorrow, and then…we're going to settle this."

OOOOOOOOOO

Edward tells me that Emmett told him it should just be for a couple of hours in the morning. Apparently, Charlie called him and told him that he's not happy with this, but he wants them all in so that they can discuss it with the owners.

If Mel notices the mood that Edward and I are in for the rest of the night – and I'm not stupid enough to think she doesn't – she doesn't actually say anything. We finish up in the kitchen, clean up, and then she goes to shower while Edward and I awkwardly move around each other. No, we didn't actually fight, but it sure feels like we did.

And no, I'm not mad at him. I'm just infuriated by the entire situation – and I hate myself for it because I know it's all my fault.

OOOOOOOOOO

Mel and I are in my bed. She's apparently a quiet snorer who takes up three-quarters of the bed and drags her pillow around with her everywhere she moves.

I'm at the very edge of the bed, trying not to get kicked – again – and staring up at the ceiling, though we've been in bed for almost two hours now. After our awkward good night, Edward took the couch, but that's how it was supposed to be tonight anyway. I've never been one of those "no sleeping together until after marriage" kind of girls – obviously – but it doesn't feel right to flaunt our non-marriage bed-sharing situation in front of a precocious almost thirteen year-old.

But this is so not how I wanted the first night the three of us spent here together to go: full of this unresolved tension.

"Never go to bed upset with your loved ones," Sue once told me. And though I'm not upset at Edward, something is definitely off and unresolved now.

And I am angry, and my eyes sting with the intensity of the hatred I feel right now – anger towards myself…and loathing towards Eli.

I suddenly hear quiet creaks on the floorboards and look away from the ceiling.

Edward is approaching me slowly, shirtless with only his sweatpants on, hanging low around his hips. We watch each other wordlessly in the dim light created by the skyscrapers across the river. He reaches his hand out, and I take it instinctively. I'll always take it.

Carefully, I rise out of the bed being mindful not to jostle it too much so that Mel doesn't wake. With my hand still in Edward's, I wait a few seconds once I'm upright, listening for Mel's quiet snoring. She flips over back and forth a few times and then sighs, and the snores pick up again. I lift myself off the bed and follow Edward out of the bedroom.

He leads me past the living room, and I snort quietly when he takes me into the bathroom. I lean against the sink as he shuts the door quietly and locks it.

As soon as he turns around I lunge myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Shh," he soothes me in return, cradling the back of my head and kissing the top of it lightly. "I'm sorry too, Baby. I was pissed off, and I took it out on you."

"So did I," I admit. "But I'm the one I'm mad at, Edward, not you."

He pulls me away to look at my face. "Why are you mad at yourself?"

"This is all my fault."

Edward cups my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Stop it, okay? This isn't your fault. Look, I'm not going to…I'm going into work tomorrow, Bella, and I'm going to do what my bosses ask of me, and then I'm coming home to you and Mel, okay?" he says resolutely, his eyes burning with determination, and I remember what Carlisle said earlier: we're both determined. I can only hope it's enough.

"That's all that's going to happen tomorrow," he assures me.

I swallow thickly.

"Hey," he grins softly, kissing my lips once, "at least I'm getting holiday pay. That's always a good thing, especially with Christmas and Mel's birthday coming."

He makes me chuckle despite the shitty situation. "Yeah, I suppose it is," I grin begrudgingly.

He chuckles and pulls me into his arms again, sighing. "I'm not going to fuck up this holiday for you and Mel, Bella."

"I know you're not, Edward," I breathe against his neck. "I know you're not."

My mouth trails relieved kisses to his strong jaw then up to his warm, waiting mouth. His tongue licks my top lip and then slides quickly inside, tangling with mine. There's urgency to the way we kiss: Make-up kisses to a semi-fight I suppose. He kisses down my neck while he lifts my tank top, and I raise my arms to help him get it off. His hands quickly work the clasp on the back of my bra, and that falls away as his mouth eagerly latches around one breast and then the other while I sigh unevenly, feeling his tongue everywhere as the heat travels down between my thighs.

"We have to be quick and quiet," I manage to breathe while his mouth sucks in my nipple deeply.

"Yeah," he agrees. "Yeah."

He palms and kneads both my breasts in his hands, his mouth on mine now, and then quickly yet gently he flips me around, his hot breath brushing against the nape of my neck. I sigh breathlessly, my hands clasped around the edge of the sink while I arch my back into him and he molds and kisses, pressing his thick erection against my ass and grinding.

"Edward…I need you…"

"I know…" he whispers. "I need you too…"

But we're not alone tonight, and though part of me fears Mel waking up and finding me gone from bed, I'm too worked up to leave this bathroom without having Edward inside me even for a quick minute. And apparently he feels the same. He grinds over my pants for only about ten seconds and then he lets go of one of my breasts so he can push down my sweatpants. They fall to the floor noiselessly while Edward bends his legs and sinks inside me.

I drop my head and whimper as quietly as I can as he fills me completely.

Edwards hands grips my hips and guide me back and forth along his length. I feel the front of his thighs against the back of mine, the hard skin of his hip bones pressing against the pliant skin of my ass while his mouth nips and sucks at the skin along my shoulders and the back of my neck. The bottom of my stomach coils, and I don't even try to hold back or make this last because we have to be quick.

"Bella…fuck, Baby…Bella…"

"Yes, Edward…yessss…"

He lifts one of my legs, holding it slightly at an angle, and then he bends his own legs more and thrusts, and suddenly he's hitting me so good - so, so good, and I press my lips together, dropping my head forward as I come. A few more quick thrusts from him, and he buries his face against the back of my neck, grunting silently.

Afterwards, he picks up my pants for me and puts his back over his hips, and then he holds me close, wrapping me tightly in his arms.

"You're too good to me," he whispers.

"Ditto."

"Tomorrow…" he breathes into my hair, "Tomorrow we'll have a good day, Bella - a great day. I swear it."

"I know we will, Edward." I turn around and kiss his sweaty, bare chest. "We'll be together - the three of us."

A/N: So I'll see you all next week, okay?

Happy Passover and Happy Easter!

Twitter: PattyRosa817

Link to 'Stories by PattyRose' is on my profile page.