CHAPTER 8
"Come on, Hiccup, I know you can do it. You've dealt with injured dragons plenty of times before."
"Yeah, but I don't remember that now, do I?"
Hiccup cautiously knelt down in the thick snow beside the crack in the rock, held out the fish at arm's length and waited. A little green nose with over-sized nostrils crept out a fraction, gave the fish a quick sniff and then jerked back inside.
"Come on now little guy. We just want to meet you so we can take a look at that bad wing of yours. We're not going to hurt you." Hiccup continued to crouch by the rock patiently.
This time the whole head poked out. The tiny dragon gave the fish another sniff, snatched it out of Hiccup's hand and gulped it down whole.
"That's it, see?" he said as the dragon came out from inside its hiding place. It wandered over to Hiccup and brushed against his leg, seeking affection. He offered the creature a scratch behind the ear.
Fishlegs sneaked up next to them.
"Well done. Now, watch to see how I pull the wing back, ever so gently, holding it just here, being careful not to hurt it."
To distract the dragon while Fishlegs performed his study, Hiccup offered a second fish from the bucket behind him.
"Looks like it's only a sprain. Nothing too serious, but he won't be able to fly in that condition and if he can't fly, he's quite vulnerable out here. We'll take him back to the academy and he'll have to stay with us for a while until his wing heals. Here," he passed Hiccup a piece of cloth and some thin rope. "Gently wrap this round the wing. Tightly enough though, it needs to provide support."
As Hiccup created a sling out of the cloth for the injured wing, Fishlegs began to quiz him.
"So tell me, what's the species of this dragon?"
"It's a terrible terror. Belongs to the Stoker Class."
"And what else can you tell me about them?"
"They're the second smallest dragon species currently known, only larger than the fireworm, and grow to no more than six feet eight inches from snout to tail in length. They're one of the easiest dragons to train. Just offering them food and affection, proving to them you are not a threat, allows for a terrible terror to become a docile and loyal companion. Because of this fact and their outstanding homing skills, we're able to train them to carry messages for us. T-mail."
"Excellent. Full marks. You know, I still find all this surreal – me, teaching you about dragons! I really missed us geeking out together when you became chief."
Ignoring this remark, Hiccup rewarded the little creature for being such a good patient by offering him another fish, then gathered him in his arms while Fishlegs collected the bucket and the rest of their things. They trudged back through the crystal-white forest towards the village.
"You did well today, Hiccup. See? You do remember more than you realise. I may be a bookworm but this stuff comes naturally to you."
"I'm only doing what you tell me, Fishlegs. You're a great teacher," he said, cheeks flushing.
Fishlegs considered Hiccup. It saddened him to see his friend still lacking in confidence. But he was wrong. It wasn't really confidence Hiccup was lacking, it was that he struggled to accept praise. He was still unsure as to why but whenever anyone complimented him on his work or abilities he would blush and shy away.
Once they arrived at the academy Hiccup helped place the terrible terror inside a sick bay pen and offered one more fish to keep it subdued, gave it final stroke then closed the door.
"There," said Fishlegs behind him. "We'll be able to use him as a life study for a while. Then maybe we can move through the Stoker Class onto the monstrous nightmare."
"Yeah, maybe."
As Fishlegs finished putting everything away, he decided to brave what he knew to be a sensitive question.
"So umm, what's the situation with you and Astrid now? It's been getting pretty awkward what with her being Heather's best friend and all."
Hiccup froze in his tracks.
"She still isn't speaking to me," he said finally.
"Have you tried speaking to her?"
"What? Me? I don't know…"
"Why not?"
"How can I? She's in love with a guy I'm supposed to be but I don't even know. I don't remember anything about me, who I am, where I'm from, what I liked doing as a child…"
"You're still you, Hiccup. You haven't changed. You do have feelings for her, don't you?"
"I… I do."
"Then go talk to her."
"Easy for you to say: you're not the one whose life has been left in tatters!" Fishlegs looked hurt by that comment and Hiccup instantly felt guilty. "Sorry, that sounded awful. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
They shared an awkward silence. Fishlegs wished there was a way to help his friend. He couldn't bear to see him suffer like this.
"Well, umm…" said Hiccup eventually. "I've got to take Toothless for his morning flight. Thanks again, Fishlegs. See you tomorrow," and he raced out of the academy in search of his own dragon.
Hiccup and Toothless came in to land and settled themselves down on a blanket in their favourite hiding spot, which was enclosed by overhanging branches from a gnarled tree and a large shrub. Here, he had an excellent view of the Berk's Dragon and Fleet Army training grounds below and several feet away without fear of being seen himself. He had found this spot during one of their flights about two weeks after their return to Berk and now they visited the place this time every day.
He had lied to Fishlegs. Each morning he and Toothless got up extra early for their flight before his lessons so he could have this spare hour-and-a-half slot before making his way to the dragon service centre where he now worked with Gobber. He'd be there for the rest of the day unless he was due for some dragon flight training with Snotlout which took part twice a week, early evening. He didn't like the lying but he didn't want anyone else to know what he was really up to lest she, Astrid, somehow found out.
He threw Toothless a few fish from a saddle bag, grabbed his own breakfast out of his satchel and positioned himself by the gap in the shrub to wait and see if she would turn up. They didn't always use the grounds here. Sometimes Astrid would take her troops to nearby islands for their training and sometimes they would even train at night. It was hit and miss but it was well worth it for a chance of seeing her.
And there she was: straight back, axe at her side, face determined and unwavering, hair glistening in the sunshine. Butterflies danced inside him as he watched, admiring her as she led her troops onto the grounds. She was so confident and resolute.
He felt bad for spying on her like this, but this was the only chance he had to see her. It had been three months since they'd travelled to Berk and Tuffnut had let the cat out of the bag telling him they were betrothed. They hadn't spoken since. Every time they saw each other in the village she would turn and walk the other way. At lunchtimes he would often take his food back to the dragon service centre to be away from everyone. On times when he did happen to stay inside The Great Hall, they sat at different tables. They never approached each other. He would favour a table to himself, alone, not wishing to be hassled by anyone and allowing her to be with her friends.
With a mouth full of bread, he took a swig from his flask to wash it down and continued to watch her as she patrolled her troops doing their morning warm up routine. His heart skipped a beat. She was really something else: so wonderful, so extraordinary, so beautiful. He carefully brushed back a branch in the bush to improve his view.
He missed her. She had been with him from the moment he had first woken from his accident, when he had been fearful of Toothless. She had stayed with him on Caldera Cay and read to him every day when he was stuck in bed and couldn't talk. She had supported him as his strength returned. She had worried for him… had loved him… and now, she was gone.
He let out a mournful sigh.
Toothless came up to him and gave him a reassuring nudge.
"Arrrooo…"
"Thanks, bud. I'm okay," and he caressed the back of Toothless' ear.
"Purr." At least he had his dragon.
He had his mother too. Busy though she may be, filling in for his role as chief, she was doing her best to be there for him, coming home by teatime every day so they could spend time with each other. After their heart-to-heart on his second night she had taken the whole of the next day off and they'd gone for a flight together exploring the island. They'd had lunch at a place called The Cove and spent all afternoon talking, mostly about his dad. She had told him that they had first met during a battle against Oswald's Berserkers and fell in love with each other as they celebrated their victory, dancing and singing.
She told him how proud his father had been to become a father.
"He loved you, son," she had said. "That I do know. He was so proud of you and so am I."
Hiccup had turned away from her when she had said this.
"What's the matter, Hiccup?"
"How can you be so sure? You weren't even around."
"For twenty years, yes. But I know how he felt when you were first born. You were so precious to him and he never doubted that someday you'd become the strongest of us all. And when we met again, those twenty years later, the day he died, I saw then, too, just how proud he was of the man you'd become and what you'd achieved."
It had been a good day that day with his mother. He had struggled to accept what she'd said about his father feeling proud of him. It grated on something deep within him, but it had also been the start of a relationship between him and his mother.
There was something else he couldn't quite place that bothered him whenever he thought about his father. It was more than doubting his pride for him. If he strained to think, he thought he would almost discover what it was that troubled him about this man but just as he got close the feeling pootled out, disappearing just beyond his reach.
A few days ago he'd experienced something along the lines of a nightmare but he didn't think he could really call it that because he hadn't seen anything in the dream, he had just experienced agonising dread. He had woken up, bolting upright and sweating all over. This perplexed him no end.
Having his mother around and finding he was a pro at helping Gobber in the dragon centre was helping his self-confidence tremendously and it gave him something to focus on. He seemed to know almost every piece of equipment by name, what it was for and how best to use it. When given a task, he found he needn't ask for guidance and was often able to create something better than what had been expected. It stumped him to think why so much of his memory having been wiped clean that he was still able to perform these blacksmith duties.
Bonding with dragons was another. Regardless of feeling shy every time Fishlegs complimented him, he couldn't deny why he did. His abilities were unprecedented. Fishlegs called him his star pupil, impressed at the speed in which Hiccup was picking everything up and how he was able to create such connections with the creatures.
But despite all this, he still felt like an outsider, cut off from everyone. He didn't really know anybody, not the way they knew him. Five whole months like this and there was no sign of his memory returning. It was infuriating. Everyone was waiting for him to get better, to become Berk's chief again, but he was far from ready. He much preferred being left alone in his private study to tinker with pieces of equipment, or, better still, out flying with Toothless.
He really did miss her. As the months had drawn on, from autumn into winter, his feelings towards her had bloomed. He longed for her. Yearned for her. But what was he supposed to do?
With a heavy heart, he knew his time was up. He stole one last glance through the branches, collected his things and made his way back to the village.
"Hey! There you are, Hiccup. We've been looking everywhere for you."
"Huh?"
"Come with me," and Ruffnut dragged him along by the arm.
"Where are you taking me? I need to get to work or I'll be late."
"Got him!" she said and threw him down on a box. "Sit there."
As Ruffnut disappeared behind a makeshift curtain, Tuffnut stepped out holding a piece of parchment. He was wearing a clump of tatty sheepskin, dyed orange, round his face that Hiccup assumed must be his attempt of making a beard. He looked ridiculous.
Oh no, not another play! Since their attempt to hit him over the head on his first day back, he had become a kind of life experiment for the twins and they were determined to find a way to bring his memory back. Of all the ludicrous ideas they'd come up with lately, acting was one of their more tolerable. At least it didn't involve bludgeons or maces.
"Is this going to take long? I've got to get going."
Tuffnut cleared his voice and his expression became very serious as he prepared himself.
"Ladies and Vikings," he began. Hiccup noted he was the only one in the audience. "Welcome to the show. Today we have, for your entertainment, a performance of the highest quality, a tale of mystery and woe.
"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third will be played by our fine fellow, Snotlout Jorgenson; Astrid Hofferson will be played by our lovely Ruffnut Thornston; Toothless by Chicklet and I, Tuffnut Thornston, as the most talented member of the group, will play both Stoick the Vast and the narrator."
From behind the sheet there came a low voice.
"Psst. Ruffnut. Do I have to wear this? It won't stay on."
"Yes you do. Stop being a baby."
Hiccup sighed, slumped down and rested his chin in his palm, elbow on knee. Here we go again, he thought.
"There was once a young Viking called Hiccup," began Tuffnut.
Nothing happened.
"I said, there was once a young Viking called Hiccup," he said more firmly. "Snotlout, get out here."
Snotlout, holding onto Chicklet, was shoved through the misfit curtain and nearly fell over. He was wearing a green tunic which was way too small as it pulled at the seams. His hair had been ruffled up and stood on end in funny angles. He was also struggling to keep his balance. His left leg had been strung up at the knee and a piece of metal had been attached, supposedly to represent Hiccup's prosthetic though it didn't look like it was secured on properly.
"There was once a young Viking called Hiccup. He had met a dragon and called him Toothless. They became friends. He liked a girl called Astrid. Enter Astrid."
Ruffnut walked through holding a stage axe. Prop or not, it still looked rather heavy. She hadn't done much to change her appearance expect she had taken off her helmet and wore a different styled skirt to usual.
"Hi. My name's Astrid. I like to hit things with my axe and shout a lot." She let out a scream and smashed the axe hard into Snotlout's chest causing him to fall over.
"One day, Hiccup took Astrid for a flight on Toothless."
"Wait. What?" panicked Snotlout. He was just struggling to get back up.
Ruffnut went to climb onto Snotlout's back but the strapped on metal leg gave way and they both toppled back to the ground.
"Dreadful! Just dreadful! I cannot work under these conditions!" and Tuffnut threw his script into the air in disgust. Turning to Ruffnut he said, "Sis, you were superb. Splendid! Unlike some of the peasant folk we are forced to contend with."
"Hey!" Snotlout, disgruntled, sat and rubbed at his sore kneecap.
"Yeah, thanks for that. Really informative," said Hiccup dryly. "If you're quite done I've got to go," and without waiting for a reply he turned and left.
After their morning's training, the two girls made their way to The Great Hall.
"Are you planning on wearing anything special to the Snoggletog Ball tomorrow night?" Heather asked Astrid.
"No, not really."
"Maybe you should. I bet Hiccup will be there."
Astrid highly doubted this. He had become a bit of a recluse recently and he'd hardly seen anyone, let alone her.
"Have you guys sorted things out yet?" Heather probed.
"No, we haven't. It's been months. I feel like I've lost him, Heather."
"You don't even give him a chance. Every time you see him you walk off in the other direction."
"I'm waiting for him to come to me. He's the one who just wanted to be friends. What am I supposed to do?"
"You're supposed to create an opportunity. Give me your axe."
"My axe? Why?"
"Just give it."
Astrid reluctantly passed it over.
SNAP!
"Hey! That was my mother's!"
"You can thank me later," and Heather threw the broken weapon back.
"Oh, I don't know…" said Astrid catching on.
"Come on, Astrid. You two are made for each other. And we're all getting pretty fed up having to tiptoe around you guys with this whole charade. Stop wasting time and go win him back."
Heather was right. Without another word, Astrid nervously made her way towards the dragon service centre.
Gobber was there busy fixing a torn saddle. There was no sign of Hiccup.
"Hi, Gobber."
"Oh, hi, lass. Not seen ya here in a while. What can I do you for?" Then, on closer inspection, "oh! Hey, Hiccup! Get out here! I need ya to deal with this customer for me! Got to be… somewhere. Be back in a jiffy!" and he was gone.
Astrid heard movement coming from inside the private study. Her heart began to race and she bit her lip in anticipation.
Hiccup appeared in the doorway. He looked up and stopped. He stared at her.
"Hey."
"Hey." Then, snapping out of his trance, he threaded his fingers through his hair and rubbed his neck. "What can I do for you?"
"My axe is broken. Can you fix it?" She held it out to him.
He stared at her.
"Hiccup?"
"Err… yeah. Sure," and he took the axe. "Just needs a new handle." He went in search for one to fit the blade.
"How are you, Hiccup?" Astrid asked in an attempt to start communication.
"Alright, I suppose."
"I don't see you about much."
"That's because I like to keep to myself. Get hassled less that way." He looked back and saw the effect these words had on her. She'd taken them personally. "I mean by people like the twins and Snotlout. They see me as a cause of amusement and think it all very funny. They've been coming up with ridiculous plays of me and forcing me to watch them."
He selected a handle, moved to the workstation and began removing the old one.
"I think they're just trying to help in their own way," she said reassuringly.
"Hmmm…"
Hiccup obviously wasn't amused. Astrid decided she needed to try another tactic.
"It's Snoggletog tomorrow. They're starting a new tradition this year – they're calling it a ceilidh. Will you be there?"
"Doubt it. Think I'll just hang at home. Avoid the crowds."
Astrid didn't say anymore. Her heart had sunk.
"There. As good as new." He smiled at her as he passed her the axe, expecting her to be pleased with his work. She didn't look up at him.
"Thanks." She took the axe and promptly left.
Hiccup stood there watching her go, confused by what had happened.
Gobber appeared behind him.
"You maybe bright, lad, but sometimes ya can be a right idiot. Completely missed the point didn't ya?"
"What do you mean, Gobber?"
"Do you know what a ceilidh is?" Hiccup was stumped. "It's a dance. She wanted you to ask her to the dance tomorrow night."
"Really?"
"Really. She misses ya, lad. Anyone can see that. And you miss her too if I'm not mistaken. Why don't ya sort things out?"
Gobber turned back to continue with his work leaving Hiccup lost in thought.
The next evening, Hiccup watched from a distance, out of sight, as stragglers, many of which were couples, making their way up the snow covered stairway to The Great Hall. Resentment swelled inside him. They looked so happy, secure in the fact that they had no serious complications overshadowing their relationships.
She missed him. That's what Gobber had said. Missed him? Of course she missed him his logical side told him. She had been in love with him. They were going to get knot-tied. It occurred to him that, all this time, she had been waiting for him to come to her, but it was he who hadn't been ready.
He was scared to go into that crowded room, facing her in front of all those other people. It seemed messy to him and he wanted things to be perfect. But they never could be. Not now. Their relationship had taken such a harsh knock he wasn't sure how to make it right again.
She was in there, he knew that. He'd seen her go in half an hour ago. And he wanted to see her. He'd spent all afternoon getting ready. He felt foolish how nervous he was getting and how much time it took on deciding what to wear but he wanted to look good for her. He'd spent ages choosing but finally settled on a warm red tunic with brown trousers. Something told him she might like the colour on him. He'd also washed and combed his hair and re-tied his braids.
Toothless brushed against him and purred. Hiccup gave his dragon a stroke, acknowledging the attempt to reassure him. Finally, after nearly an hour of fretting, he braced himself and started up the long flight of steps.
He crept through the gigantic doors. His eyes darted about the room. Panpipes and lyres played jovially as groups and couples jigged and twirled across the centre of the room. Some people stood around, holding drinks while they made gossip while others sat at available tables, tucking into the buffet provided. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves.
His heart began to pound, his breathing became erratic and the palms of his hands became clammy. He wasn't sure whether he could go through with this anymore.
"Hiccup! You made it. Wasn't sure you'd bother turning up."
It was Snotlout. Great. Just great! He flung an arm round Hiccup's shoulders.
"You going to ask her for a dance or what?"
"Umm…" Hiccup looked around and spotted Astrid through the crowd, standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall. She was alone and looked rather glum.
"Come on, you great wuss. She's been waiting for you."
"She has?"
"Of course she has, dumb ass. Get over there and talk to her," and he shoved Hiccup so hard, he stumbled.
Hiccup looked over at Astrid and braced himself again. This was it. Now or never. With butterflies going crazy in his stomach, he made his way over to her.
"Err… hey."
Her head snapped round. She was surprised to see him.
"Hey."
"Umm… may… May I have this dance, M'lady?" and he offered her his hand.
Astrid didn't answer. She just stared at him. Hiccup began to falter.
"Err… is it… s-s-something I said?"
"You haven't called me that in a very long time."
"Called you what? M'lady?"
She nodded, closed her eyes and bowed her head.
His nerves were getting worse, but he'd got this far. If he gave up now he wasn't sure he'd be able to try again.
"Well, err… will you…?" He offered her his hand again. "Astrid. Please. I've missed you."
She looked up at him and saw longing. He really wanted her. With a shy smile she took his hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor.
"I have to warn you I'm not very good at this," she admitted.
"Hey. You're the one with two legs. What am I supposed to say?" He'd cracked a joke. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.
From a across the room Gobber and Valka stood chatting. From the corner of his eye, Gobber caught sight of the couple.
"Will ya look at that?"
"Oh, at last!" replied Valka in relief.
Tune after tune, Hiccup and Astrid glided across the floor, gazing into each other's eyes. Gradually the music faded into the distance. They were alone in the crowded room.
Eventually they came to a standstill with the music still playing. Still holding onto one another, hearts racing, they leaned into each other and shared a tender kiss.
Astrid rested herself against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. As he felt her body shudder against his he pulled her tightly into him, comforting her.
It felt so right being with her. Whether on Caldera Cay or here on Berk it didn't matter. Home wasn't a place. Not really. Not to him. Home was whenever he was with her.