[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Yeah, it's me again…I can't manage to stay away from my laptop. So many ideas for this story…so little time…sigh. Who needs sleep? LOL

Don't hate me too much because this is so short again. Better a short chapter than nothing...

This chapter is dedicated to aquarius127 for being my 200th reviewer. I hope you'll like my attempt on writing this one from Alice's POV. It will probably answer a few questions or cause new ones. Who knows?

*to Hayley: Yep, I'm from Germany too. Funny isn't it?*

**Chapter 12**

Ali's POV

Slowly I sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her up. She always looked so peaceful while she was sleeping. I could probably sit here watching her forever and would never get tired of it. The dawning sunlight reflected on the curls of her beautiful hair, bringing out the different shades of red in the warm brown color. I couldn't resist running my fingers through this silkiness before I put one wisp of it behind her ear.

My eyes caught the bare skin on her ring finger and for a moment pure joy warmed my heart. Then I realized that this small gesture – no matter how big it had been for her – wouldn't be enough eventually.

You're truly the most selfish person on earth.

The words of my father echoed in my ear over and over again and as much as I wanted to tell myself that they were only spoken in anger; somewhere deep inside of me I knew that they were true.

It was so wrong to have this tingly feeling deep down in my stomach whenever I looked at my brother's wife. His wife…

How much I detested thinking of her that way; like she belonged to him, when I so desperately wanted her to belong to me.

Yesterday I had barely managed to keep my hands off of her while we were in that damn bar with Jazz. It had only taken my ex a split second to figure out how I felt about Bella. My heartbeat had quickened instantly, almost making me feel dizzy. Silently I prayed that she wouldn't start talking about it, so I babbled about the motorbike, although I knew that she knew I didn't give a shit about things like that. What use was there in a hobby that didn't allow you to wear something pretty during it? Then I used the first opportunity to excuse myself and offered to get us something to drink.

Had she spoken to Bella about me? Probably not, I thought. If she did, Bella would have probably mentioned it on our ride back home. Or would she not? Sometimes it was so difficult to understand what was going on in her head.

A low sigh left my throat before I leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her warm cheek.

"Ali?" she mumbled and turned around so that she was lying on her back now.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up." I whispered into her ear while my fingertips moved over the soft skin of her neck.

"But I really felt like I needed to see you before I have to leave."

"But you'll come back, won't you?" Somehow there seemed to be fear in her voice and that surprised me. Then I remembered that I had told her that I wanted to run away from the awkward situation between us.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. I will always come back to you."

Her hands twisted into my short hair and I wrapped my arms around her neck to pull her closer to me. The tip of my tongue licked over her velvety lower lip before I gently covered her mouth with mine.

A pleasant shiver went through my body as the tip of her tongue nudged against mine. Was it possible to get addicted to kissing someone? Maybe it had to do with the fact that she physically reacted to me in a way no other woman had done it before. She made me feel like I was a sorceress and had the ability to put a spell on her body. How much I wished I could have the same effect on her soul.

"I'll miss you." She whispered and the smile that flashed over her face made my heart skip a beat. It was almost as if it started dancing up happily in my chest. Dancing is always good, I thought. The only thing I feared was that the price for the music might be too much….

XXXX

Unlike most other people I really liked the way hospitals smelled. The scent of disinfections was one of my first memories, irrevocably connected with the person of my father. He had always been my biggest supporter and yet he had become my biggest critic now. It hurt me because I craved for his approval more than anything else. It had been easy to tell my new friends in Paris that I didn't mind not talking to him. It had always been easy for me to lie to other people. Maybe this really was something like a hidden family talent? Who knows…?

I inhaled deeply through my nose as I entered his office. Carlisle's eyes were focused on one of his anatomy books. Of course, I knew that he wasn't really reading it right now. He just tried to look occupied in a weak attempt to keep our conversation as short as possible.

"Dad, are you going to talk to me at all or will you just sit there and pretend that I'm not here?"

His lips twitched for a moment before he finally raised his head.

"Paris didn't seem to have a positive effect on your patience, Mary Alice."

"No it didn't…,"

Arrg, it was going to be so awkward if this would go on like this now.

"Your mother is really happy that you are back home." He stated while I sat down on one of the thick leather armchairs on the right side of his office.

"Yeah, I know, dad." You don't have to mention that to me, I added secretly. She doesn't stop telling me that herself over and over again.

Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up.

"I'm here to let you know that I want you to start respecting the choices that I've made for my life."

My voice almost cracked, and I hated myself for being so nervous about this. Somewhere deep in the corner of my mind, in a place where my emotions had no access to, I knew that his opinion shouldn't matter to me. It shouldn't but still it did; Far more than I allowed myself to acknowledge.

He raised one eyebrow, while his lips twisted into a smile that didn't reach his blue eyes. Their light blue colors had been inherited in almost exactly the same shade in my sisters' face while my mother's emerald green had been passed on to my brother. When I was little I had asked my parents where the strange amber tone of mine did come from.

From the pixies, Mary Alice, from the pixies, my mother had whispered and kissed my forehead with trembling lips. Did she cry back then? I couldn't remember.

"If you are talking about your personal preferences for other women…," jeez how I loved the way he always avoided to use the word gay.

"I honestly don't care about that. I won't judge you for loving whoever makes you happy."

Whoever, whoever, whoever….I repeated silently in my head,

What if this whoever I loved happened to be his daughter-in-law? My hands started sweating and the world around me seemed to blur for a moment.

"Mary Alice, are you alright? You look so pale."

He stood up from his chair and kneeled down next to me on the ground. Then he wrapped two fingers around my wrist to check my pulse.

"Dad, that is completely unnecessary. I'm fine." …apart from the fact that I'm falling in love with the wife of my brother of course.

"See the diplomas over there? They're telling you that I'm the one who knows if someone is fine or not."

Physically maybe, but I knew far more about the way someone was feeling inside. I had learned to pay attention to the way people dressed. How their happiness was shown clearly in the amount of work they put in their outfits. How they mourned their pain in dark colors. How they hid their insecurities behind wide layers of clothes…just like Bella did it.

No more hiding…

I cringed slightly when I felt the cool metal of his stethoscope on my skin.

"Dad, I've already told that you I'm okay."

"You're not. Your heart is racing. I should probably page Dr. Bennett to let him do an ECG…"

Please not that again.

"I don't need an ECG. My heart is pretty fine. You can stop worrying."

"No, I can't. See, Mary Alice…that's why I didn't want you to move to Europe. All that stress in the fashion industry is just not good for your condition…,"

I tried to stand up a little too quickly and instantly flopped back when my knees turned into yell-o.

"Yeah, right…because working 36 hour shifts in a hospital is practically comparable to a day off at the beach."

He chuckled slightly. The first time I heard him laugh in a very long time.

"No, it's not. But if something happened to you, there would always be enough people around to help you; Unlike all these freaks that you surround yourself with now. They'd probably offer you crack or whatever drugs they're using. Do you even know what something like that would do to your heart?"

Always the stupid heart; why couldn't he simply drop that topic? The hole in my cardiac septum that I had been born with had closed completely when I grew older.

"For the hundredth time…I won't take drugs. Dad, please stop talking to me as if I were dangerously ill. You know how much I hate that."

Slowly he leaned over and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"I know...but still,"

He sighed deeply before he continued.

"You're such a trustful person…it's far too easy for anyone to take advantage of that."

A shiver went down my spine when the memory of the one that had betrayed my trust flashed through my mind.

The flames of her red hair falling down her bare back while she was sitting on top of him…the evil grin on his stupid face when I caught them in the same bed where she had told me over and over again that she was mine…mine. God, she never was and never planned to be…

It doesn't mean that it will be like that this time, I tried to calm myself. Right, it would probably be a lot worse. And this time it would entirely be my own fault, because now I knew it…knew it with every single beat of my heart…that love had the power to break you.

XOXOXOXOXOX

[A/N] I've been told not to ask how the chapter was but I really need to know. Did you like being in Alice's head? Should I do more chapters from her POV or should I keep everything from Bella's?