[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi to all my lovely readers out there. Thanks so much for all your encouraging words. It really means a lot to me, that some of you enjoy reading my story.

This one is dedicated to Villemo79 for telling me that she liked the way I'm expressing Bella and Ali's feelings for each other and to Silvi86 for capturing one of the key-point of the story so perfectly. Yes, beauty it's not just about the way someone looks from the outside…

**Chapter 14**

"Are you sure that you're ready to do this?" Ali asked me anxiously as she parked the rental car in front of the huge grey office building.

"Yes, I am sure." I told her, trying to suppress the slight trembling in my voice. I was so not sure, if it was right what I was about to do. All I knew was that it seemed impossible for me to go on like this any longer. It was wrong to continue my relationship with Ali as long as I was still married to her brother. This made her the other woman and that was not what she deserved. God, I was never going to be what she deserved, but still she always made me feel like she wanted me more than anything. It was like a miracle and sometimes when I closed my eyes I feared, that she was probably just a product of my imagination. Any minute I would wake up alone in my loveless bed at home and realize that the last few days that had managed to change my life never really happened.

The memory of the weird nightmare I had had last night sent a shiver of fear down my spine. I had literally killed my husband. What did this say about me?

"Mommy, can we go and see daddy now?" Lilly asked me from the backseat.

I didn't want to take her with me. Things between me and her father were probably going to get ugly; at least I feared so.

Ali had instantly agreed to come with me to Alaska. Of course there was no way I could have her with me when I was going to have that conversation with my soon-to-be ex-husband. It would still be comforting just to know that she was here with me. That I could go to her afterwards and wrap my arms around her if I felt like crying.

Esme was thrilled when I told her that I wanted to spontaneously visit Edward in Alaska, but when I mentioned that Ali would come with me, she didn't understand it. So I made up a weak excuse that she had agreed to babysit Lilly for me while I would spend some alone-time with her coward of a son.

"Aren't you tired, honey? You didn't sleep on the plane."

"No, I'm not." My stubborn four-year-old insisted while she could hardly manage to keep her eyes open.

We walked into the building, and I fought the irresistible urge to take Ali's hand in mine. This was something that I needed to do alone; needed to do for me, although it would probably hurt me and the other people that I cared about.

In the elevator Ali stood behind me and for a split second I felt her dainty hands on my shoulder. I turned around and her caramel eyes met mine. We didn't speak, but it was obvious that she was giving me another chance to change my mind. To leave before it was too late.

I could smell Tanya's disgustingly cheap perfume, although I couldn't see her anywhere, and wrinkled my nose in disgust. Where the hell was the bitch? Shouldn't a secretary be at her desk in case someone came that wanted to see her boss? I heard some laughter coming out of the other room and walked over to the closed door. Should I knock? I asked myself but then I decided that it was unnecessary. Edward would be so thrilled to see his daughter, even if he was in a meeting right now. We could have that talk later in the hotel.

So I opened the door and in the same moment I wished that someone would pour acid over my brain to destroy the pictures that would probably stay there now forever.

My so-called husband was sitting on his leather office chair while his so-called secretary was on top of him, mimicking one of those cowboys during their 8 seconds rides on wild bulls. Now and then low moans left his throat while her strawberry-head moved up and down on his lap.

Our poor little daughter buried her tiny face against my legs, because the noises that escaped her father's mouth scared her. I desperately hoped that she was still so young that she wouldn't be able to understand what was going on here. I didn't have the nerves to deal with her questions about that now…or any time later.

What if this would leave some permanent long-term damages? God, I wished I hadn't taken her here with me.

Edward had his eyes closed and from the stupid, concentrated look on his face I could tell that he was close…really close. Too bad I had come to ruin all his fun now.

I took a deep breath before I spoke up.

"So this is what you call working?"

His eyes fell open in horror.

"Bella? Crap…what the hell are you doing here?" he croaked out while he desperately tried to shove Tanya's skinny ass off of him. She seemed too shocked to move one single inch.

Ali put one of her hands on my forearm. Maybe it was to comfort me. Maybe it was an attempt to hold me back from throwing something hard against Tanya's head. Whatever it was it was working.

"What the hell are you doing here with her?" My words were harsh, but to my astonishment I wasn't really angry at him. Maybe I was too shocked, hurt and confused. The blood in my veins stayed cold like ice. I realized that I didn't love him anymore. Not a tiny bit, not at all. If I still cared for him it wouldn't be that way, I was sure about that.

"Daddy, is the evil witch hurting you?" Lilly asked him anxiously when she finally dared to raise her head again.

"Damn it, Bella, get the child out of here!"

I took a deep breath and tried to make my voice sound cheerful in order to make my child think that everything was alright; like we hadn't just caught her father fucking the shit out of his bitch of a secretary.

"Lilly, why don't you and your aunt get us something to drink from the cafeteria?"

"But mommy…she's hurting him!"

Edward cleared his throat nervously.

"Get her out here…now!"

Instantly she started crying. He had never raised his voice in her presence before, and I wanted to rip a wisp of his copper hair out for frightening her like that.

"Stop yelling like that, Edward. You're scaring the poor child." Ali mumbled.

"Mary Alice, for heaven's sake, can't you make yourself useful and get the kid out of this room!"

"Auntie Ali, is Daddy angry because we came to surprise him?" Lilly croaked out while she wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Yeah, honey. Probably a little bit. Your Daddy never really liked surprises…" Ali told her as she lifted her up to carry her out of the room.

"Won't you tell your wife to leave too so that we can get dressed again?" Tanya snarled at him.

"Bella…,"

"Okay, okay…I'll give the two of you some privacy for a minute too." I told him filled with bitterness. Then I closed the door behind me and sighed deeply.

"Mommy is Daddy sick?" Yeah, in the head, I thought secretly.

"No, he isn't. Please, honey…just go with your aunt Ali now. Mommy needs to talk to Daddy." And probably kick him where it really hurts.

"Bella, are you sure, that you can handle this on your own?"

I nodded my head.

"Can you take care of Lilly until we're ready here?"

"Of course, I can. Come with me Lilly. We're going to see if we'll find some chocolate ice-cream in the cafeteria for us."

She pulled out her cell and waved with it.

"If you need me, just text me or call…I'll be right back here."

Tanya stumbled out of the office. Her hair was still a mess and her blouse wasn't buttoned up correctly. Her pink lipstick was smeared all over her chin, and I didn't want to know where else it had probably left a mark. The thought was too disgusting.

"Evil witch!" Lilly snarled at her while her eyes narrowed angrily.

Usually I wouldn't allow her to speak to adults in such a way, but right now I didn't feel like telling her to stop. After all, the child was right. Tanya Denali was evil, just evil.

"Just so you know, this is completely your own fault…Mrs. Cullen…," the way she said my name made me want to punch her straight in the face. Not with too much force of course, skinny people were huffy.

"Just look at you. You're what…about 160 pounds or something like that? No wonder your husband prefers playing with a woman whose body doesn't consist of mainly fat and nothing else."

"Watch your mouth, girl." Ali warned her.

"Just one more wrong word from your mouth, and I make sure you're going to need a really good dentist. I don't know if your insurance covers stuff like that, so you'd better leave now."

Tanya snorted and rushed out of the office.

XXXX

When I entered his office again he was standing at the opened window. His copper hair was still tousled and the expression on his face was…tortured somehow.

"Look Bella, I'm really sorry about that. Can we just pretend that it didn't happen?"

"You're kidding me, aren't you? I just caught you fucking that whore, who you dare to call your secretary, and you expect me to do as if nothing happened."

He moved closer to me and his lips twitched into the forced attempt of a crooked smile.

"Oh Bella, love…,"

He wasn't really trying to lull me now, was he? It wouldn't work this time.

"It didn't mean anything, love. That was just…well physical."

"Hmm, I know Edward. It didn't look as if the two of you were having a moment of spiritual connection."

"Bella, don't be like that. What do you want me to do now? I'll fire Tanya if you want me to. Just stop being so sarcastically."

He raised his hand and tried to cup my face in it but I took two steps backwards.

"Where is Lilly now?"

"She's in the cafeteria with Ali. If the poor child will need therapy because of what she saw in here you'll pay for it."

"You could have called beforehand to let me know you were coming to visit me here with her."

"And what would that have changed?" I asked him, trying to make my voice sound calm. I didn't want to let show how much he had hurt me.

"Bella, please, it didn't mean anything. It was nothing. Do you hear me…nothing, just sex."

"I hope this nothing didn't give you Chlamydia or some other crap, although you'd deserved that."

He chuckled slightly and waved with the empty Trojan foil in his hand before he threw it in the trash under his desk.

"Nice to see, that you at least think about your own health when you fuck your whore."

"Don't talk like that, Bella. It was the first time…,"

"Yeah of course and it was her first time at all, wasn't it? She was still a virgin when you hired her. Damn it, Edward. Stop lying at me. I'm fat but not blind."

"Bella, you don't know what it's like when someone keeps hitting on you all the time."

"What kind of excuse is that?"

"It's not an excuse. I just want you to understand my side."

"I don't feel like that's necessary, Edward."

"Love, please, it won't happen again. I promise."

I shook my head and inhaled deeply through my mouth before I spoke up again.

"I'm leaving you."

"Bella, you're just angry right now. Try to calm down a little bit and we'll talk about it later."

"No! We're going to talk about it now."

"Fine, if that's what you want."

"Yes it is what I want. Our marriage isn't working and you know that."

"But you're not divorcing me, are you?" Suddenly there was fear in his voice, real fear.

"We can't go on like that, Edward. You don't love me, and I hate the way you keep looking at me. You make me feel so ugly."

"Oh come on Bella, it's not like it's my fault that you're too lazy to lose weight. And just for the record: you weren't that keen on sleeping with me in the last months."

"Edward, can't you see? This is not just about sex and it's not about what happened between you and Tanya in here today."

"You can't divorce me, it's impossible. Have you forgotten that we made a marriage contract that says I won't have to pay any money for you in case you'll leave me?"

"I don't care about the money. Don't you know me at all?"

"Yes, I do, although you seem different somehow. Did you meet someone else?" He sounded jealous now and that surprised me.

Quickly I shook my head. I felt bad for denying what was between me and his younger sister but I was afraid that he would hurt her if he found out about it.

"Fine, Bella." He stated after a few awkward moments of silence.

"If a divorce is what you want…you'll get it. As long as I get full custody for Lilly, you can have whatever you want."

"You're not really planning on taking my only child away from me?" My voice almost cracked at the end. How could he dare to threaten me like that? I wanted to run my fingernails down his perfectly shaved chin. Maybe seeing blood on his skin would make me feel better….

"She's my only child too." He stated and looked at the silver framed picture of Lilly on his desk.

"Lilly is our child. Not mine or yours, she's ours."

"Bella, have you forgotten everything about your own childhood? Do you really want that for Lilly too?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. It was so unfair that he was bringing this up now. He knew how much I wanted my daughter to have a proper family. How much I wanted her to be happy. He knew it and he brought the whole thing up because he knew that I would never make a decision that would hurt Lilly. But how could I go on like this? Go on to pretend that there was somehow still love and affection behind the pretty façade of our marriage. It was impossible. Not now that I knew how it felt like to be really cared for….

XOXOXOXOXOX

[A/N] Thanks for reading. I really want to know what you think about Cheat-ward, so please let me know.