Kakashi looked over his new genin squad curiously as they sat on the roof, soaking up the sunshin. To say they were not what he expected upon reading their files would be something of an understatement.

First was the minor fact that that the files mentioned nothing about any of them being anything but human, but sure enough two of them were anything but humans, and the third was a bit different.

The most normal of them was the black-haired boy, who was little more than parchment thin skin stretched over his bones. He was sitting next to a pair of skeletons that were sharpening a pair of axes with a steady rhythm only automatons could match. He was fairly certain that he didn't want to ask.

Next to the boy in desperate need of a meal, was a dragon. A large, pink dragon, which seemed to smile lustfully at the rail-thin survivor of the Uchiha clan. He was fairly certain that it was a dragon, but he'd never seen one so large around the midsection as this one.

He wasn't entirely certain, but the third one seemed to be a dump truck, that he had no idea how it possibly got up there. Even as he watched it changed into a man like assemblage of parts with a lot of oranges, reds, and grays throughout his body. On the center of his chest was a red mechanical representative of a stoic face, which shifted before his eyes into a round smiley face, before ending with his spiral mark he took as a clan symbol.

Yeah... he was never going to go out drinking the night before picking up his new gennin team again. Especially not when Gai makes it into a challenge.

He couldn't even identify half the drinks he'd had last night.

It had to be something he'd drank last night causing him to hallucinate, it's the only thing that made sense. Now if he could just get through the introductions, he could go get detoxified and this would all be just a bad memory.

"Alright kiddos, I'm Hatake Kakashi... your instructor..." he began calmly before indicating for them to continue. "Let's hear your introductions, starting with you oh gothic nightmare from beyond the grave..."

"Hn... I am the dread lord of your nightmares Sasuke Uchiha, me and my army of the undead shall lay waste to the worthless life that is my older brother, I shall then use him to rebuild my clan..." Sasuke snarled while gripping his leathery hands around a staff of bone that he summoned from thin air.

Kakashi wrote that off as his need to stop eating greasy foods while drinking.

Indicating the giant pink thing, he decided to keep this show going before he realized just how little sanity he had left. "You're up pinkie."

The screaming roar that followed that was either her answer or her protest to the nickname, but the throbbing pain in his head somewhat distracted him from finding out. The jet of flame that shot over his head made him kinda curious, her file didn't say anything about her knowing fire jutsu... he would have to test that someday.

Instead he pointed at the mechanical boy that was pulling various random things from his back. He wasn't sure, but that stack of Icha Icha first editions did look signed by the author and illustrator... maybe he should keep this kid around.

"How about you?"

"I am Naruto, and I'm good at NOTHING!" Naruto started pulling off a perfect demon head no jutsu on the word nothing. The fact that he was smiling, or at least Kakashi thought it was a smile, the entire time made it all the more unnerving. "I can turn into a garbage truck, and a motorcycle, and a helicopter, and a tank, and a banana!"

"What's all that junk you're pulling out?" Kakashi asked curiously, wondering when the men with lovely white coats would come for him.

"Oh! Wreck-gar-san said that I could pull out anything I ever wanted, and I just wanted to test that out... He and Sari-san told me I could be anything I want to be... and I want to be a HERO!" Naruto proclaimed while tossing a hole-filled sheet into the air. Somehow it spread out, and drifted down over his shoulders to serve as a cape, while he struck a pose that Gai would have been proud of. Maybe the men in white coats would be taking Naruto as well.

Kakashi watched them for a moment before nodding and turning away. "Screw this, I'm checking into the mental health institute again... you guys meet up at the Hokage's office sometime tomorrow, he'll figure out what to do with you."

And with that he teleported away to try and light the hospital on fire by rubbing two sporks together... again.