Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kirpke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.

Synopsis: Set at the start of Season One, Dean had been in a wheelchair since his father disappeared more than a year ago and he finally has to tell Sam… There'd been an accident that night and Dean had paid a very high price….one he still doesn't understand. The story will have some hunts from season one and possibly into season two…the brothers will continue their search for their father…there will be alterations to the hunts to accommodate Dean's new situation. I have every intention of returning Dean to good health before this ends…but getting there is going to be bumpy.

Please keep in mind that I do not have a Beta, so all grammatical errors are my own. Not Slash. Brotherly love and Angst only…

Please Review: So I know there's interest

Chapter 61

Reflections

The vision held Sam's full attention. He was wrapped in it both inside and out, his body and his mind no longer his to control. Sensations that they hadn't invented words to describe scorched his every nerve. Pain flowed through his knees where they had connected hard on the stone floor. It inched along his muscles until an explosion of agony burst inside his skin. His shoulders were shaking with fatigue and the strength of the emotions he was being forced to feel. Emotions that he'd never felt slithered through him, winding their way into his heart.

Sam knew about sadness and pain, but he hadn't experienced them on the same level as Dean. If he'd been asked when he was a child he would have said that it was him that had suffered through those horrible years. But not anymore. Because he now knew the truth of what his brother had suffered in an effort to protect him. But there was one memory he didn't want under any circumstances. He'd known the story. Heard the recounting of what had happened to their beloved mother Mary, but he'd never understood…not really. He didn't remember anything despite being there when it had happened; he'd remained blissfully unaware of the details due to his extremely young age. But not Dean. His older brother had been forced to carry those damaging memories ever since he was four years old.

This was one of those memories that Sam had never wanted to have. If he could have cleared it from his brother's memories as well, he would gladly do it.

The burning heat from the flames pressed down on his immobile frame. Forcing Sam to put more pressure on his aching knees. The bright orange and yellow light that now pierced his eyes was insanely painful. And he had to slam his eyelids shut in an effort to shut out the agony.

His ridiculously informative brain pulled some lesson he'd had on the fire triangle when he'd been in chemistry class. The fire burns hottest at the center of the flame. That's why it's different colors. The cooler flames are the long licking tendrils of orange and red. They shift to a more vibrant amber color as the heat intensifies and by the time you get to the center where it is a brilliant yellow it's hot enough to burn through flesh and bone.

The smell of burning flesh invaded his senses and no amount of holding his breath or trying to ignore the scent worked. The temperature in the area seemed to be rising to an uncomfortable level. The skin on his face felt blistered by the intense heat of the fire raging above him. Laughter pulled his fractured attention back in the direction of his mother's body. He couldn't help it. He had to look. It was the worst thing he would ever see of that he was certain.

When he forced his eyelids apart, he expected something different than he actually saw…he couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him. He didn't know exactly what he'd expected, but what he saw was shocking and horrifying in a way that can't be described. There was definitely something on the ceiling, but he couldn't clearly see what it was. His head told him it was his mother. That this was what Dean had seen the night of her murder in his nursery. But his eyes wouldn't focus so he could clearly see…why the hell can't I see it? He wondered silently. It felt as thought something or someone was standing between him and the awful sight.

XXXX

Dean's mouth dropped open at what he was seeing. The misty black smoke curled around and through Sam, like devilish obsidian vines. The figure standing on the other side of his brother was the very picture of evil. Black ooze seeped from the holes that would have been its eyes…if it had had eyes. The sunken destroyed sockets were terrifying and emanated a glow that seemed to light them up in a way that appeared to be both red and black at the same time. It was impossible to look away from.

The smoke had a humanoid appearance, but it was broken in a way that was painful to look at. Legs were twisted in a grotesque version of normal. Shoulder's drooped like they'd been broken over and over again. But the biggest problem was that it appeared to be controlling Sam through the vines. It was a twisted and mangled form of something that used to be human. What it was now, Dean didn't know and he sure as hell didn't want it anywhere near Sammy.

He didn't know how he knew this, but he knew that he had to keep Sam from seeing what the demon was trying to force on him. Dean's mind was full of things he didn't want his baby brother to see, but there was only one thing that he would died a thousand deaths to prevent Sam from seeing…

The image of their mother burning on the ceiling had haunted Dean for the better part of his life. He wouldn't allow Sam to suffer the way he had. To wake up screaming in the middle of the night when the nightmares were so real that he could feel the heat. To hear the shrieks for help as his mother breathed her last agonizing breath. No! Fuck NO! Sammy would not have those memories.

Dean slammed down on that part of his mind. The control he'd learned over the last year as he'd hidden the connection he and Sam shared finally served a purpose. Dean was able to withdraw the essence that was Sam from that specific memory. He could pull him from the devastating memories that would torture him for the rest of his life. None of this made any sense, but his big brother radar was pinging like crazy. Save Sammy.

"You can't protect him forever, Dean." The voice was everywhere at once and it drove him to his knees under the strength of its rage. "I will have the power of the twin destiny. You cannot stop it." The demon hissed angrily.

"You wanna bet on that?" Dean screamed out. His anger and his fear were driving him to fight the immobilizing pressure of the demon's hold. He managed to get one knee up and then struggled to his feet as every muscle fiber felt like it was being torn from his body at the same time. It was sheer torture. But for Sam? Dean would endure a thousand years of torture.

"You are not strong enough. You have already fulfilled your end of the bargain. A man in hell? Where did you think hell was, Dean? Some fire and brimstone cave in the deep dark places of the world?" The demon laughed and Sam's back arched again as pain shot through him. "No. I'm afraid that Hell lives within every human mind. It is a place of your own creation and it cannot be escaped."

Dean's eyes widened as he watched the writing form of his brother being held in thrall by a spawn of Hell. He gnashed his teeth together and took one shaking step after another toward the misty black figure. "You cannot have him." He ground out past the pain.

It laughed again. "I already have him, Dean. Or did you miss the part where you're in Hell and he came to save you?"

The final trembling step brought Dean close enough to look the bastard in the black depths that should have been eyes. "I will save my brother." He breathed out past the fire trying to engulf him from within. "If it's the last thing I do, I will save my brother." With that final statement he thrust his arms around Sam's shaking form.

The black vines immediately pulled out of Sam and speared Dean. He screamed in agony as they pierced his feet and hands. A large knife like vein drove through his side and then curled back around through his collarbone. Dean felt nothing but pain now as his arms and legs spread wide and his eyes clouded with anguish he couldn't escape. Fear and sorrow wrapped him in a cocoon of soul shredding emotions and he was trapped.

Dean felt his mind fraying and he knew that he couldn't take much more of this punishment. The demon was watching with a satisfied look on its deformed, decayed face. And then it wasn't smiling anymore; the thing was actually grimacing as if in pain. Real pain that it hadn't felt since it had spent time in Hell.

He couldn't see it, but Dean knew that Sam was somehow there. He wasn't alone. He could make it through this.

XXXX

Sam had woken as though from a dream he couldn't remember clearly. He hurt everywhere and his head was throbbing like a train had run through it and burst in flames. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair and wiped at tired eyes before looking out at the scene before him.

His eyes began to focus and he could clearly the demon clearly for the first time. It had an outline that may have been male, but he couldn't tell for sure. It was so twisted and deformed that whatever it had been was lost long ago. His eyes followed the shifting writhing vines and he nearly chocked on his shock when he saw his brother impaled by them just behind the deformed misty body.

He forced his mutinous muscles to obey and climbed slowly to his feet. He had to get to Dean. The demon was screaming at him to stop, but it wasn't doing anything to actually stop him. Sam ignored the high-pitched commands and made his way to his broken older brother. Blood dripped from the wounds and he was reminded of how much their family had already suffered. It wasn't fair. Dean didn't deserve any of this!

Tears welled behind his eyes and Sam bit at his bottom lip to keep from crying. He'd seen this before. Not this exact way, but the wounds were the same as they'd been in his vision when they'd first met Meg. The first moment when he'd realized the extent of their sacrifice if they continued down the road that led to their father. The realization that he could lose Dean forever crashed down on Sam and he couldn't breathe with the weight of it. He couldn't lose his brother. He wouldn't survive it. Somewhere he found the strength to approach the pinned form.

His hands trembled as he reached up and gently took Dean's chin in his hands. It was cold to the touch and he wasn't breathing. Just hanging there like a scarecrow on a cross. A cry of dismay gurgled up from Sam's soul and he laid his head against his brother's chest. Tear tracks streamed down Dean's bloody shirt and disappeared into the grey material.

A hand tried to gently pull Sam away from Dean. He fought it. The hand increased the pressure and Sam was forced to turn and look at the owner. Castiel stood there, his eyes soft and sad as he stared at the brothers. "It was always his destiny to save you, Sam."

"But he didn't save me." Sam cried. Despair was oozing from every pore as he stared brokenly at the angel. "He didn't. There're still more demons out there. I need him, Cas." Sam finally whispered brokenly. "I need him…he's my brother."

A slow smile spread along the angel's face and he nodded. "I had hoped you felt that way."

TBC…

Author's Note: Cliffy…so sorry. But I wanted to get the chapter up. Thanks to everyone that reviewed. I'd love to hear from more of you if you're out there?

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