[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi my lovely readers. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my little story. I'm so happy that there actually people out there who enjoy what comes out of my crazy little mind.

This chapter is dedicated to Antonia23 for being my 300th reviewer and to crossroads-x3 for telling me that she thinks I'm good at expressing emotions. That totally made my day.

**Chapter 16**

"How did you like it in Alaska, Lilly?" Emmett asked her while he tried to keep the gigantic russet colored dog from feeding the prizewinning hydrangeas in Esme's front garden.

"Alaska sucks, Uncle Emmett." She stated and started stroking Fido's head with her fingertips. Then she leaned over and whispered something into the dogs' ear.

"Honey, I don't want you to say 'it sucks'." I mumbled halfheartedly and sat down on the grass next to her and Ali.

Somehow I felt like a hypocrite for it. Yeah, she was so damn right. Alaska had sucked badly. And now that we were back in Seattle it wouldn't necessary mean things would be easier from now on.

A shiver of fear went down my spine and my palms started sweating slightly as I thought about Ali's awful break down in the parking lot. She had refused to talk to her brother at all again, insisting that she wouldn't be able to control herself around him anymore. She told him that she was sick and I wondered what he would do if he figured out the reason behind her sudden outburst.

"Why did it suck, sweetie? Weren't you happy to see your daddy again?"

"Oh Uncle Emmett, he was so angry because we came to surprise him. And the evil witch hurt him and mommy and Auntie Ali cried and…,"

Emmett raised one eyebrow and gave me a confused look.

"What is she talking about?"

I sighed deeply and rubbed my chin.

"Do you want to hear the long or the short version?" Ali asked him, trying to make her voice sound light and cheerful.

"I assume the long one is way more interesting." He murmured while an evil smile flashed over his face.

I rolled my eyes at that and cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Alright, we'll give you the baby-free version of it because it's you. Ali and I caught my so-called husband fucking his secretary in his office."

"Hot. Dirty office sex is the best." He stated and chuckled slightly.

"You're such a perv, McCarthy."

"What…I'm just saying it like it is…although I can understand that it wasn't really too funny for you, Bella."

"You are right about that. I just hope Edward isn't too proud that our four-year-old daughter ran into them."

"Lilly was there too?" his voice sounded less cheerful now and I was glad that he was stopping to see everything as a big joke.

"Yep, she was. I really hope that the child will simply forget about it. She didn't understand what they were doing and thought that Tanya was hurting him."

"Hmm, I see. You don't seem very shocked yourself, Bella. Is that because you're far more interested in your sister-in-law now?"

My cheeks reddened instantly and I tried to hide it behind my long chestnut hair.

"No, it's not because of Ali…well at least I think so." Then I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"I went to Alaska to tell Edward that I want to leave him. Isn't that funny? I have to fly to another state just to tell my husband that I want a divorce."

"Are you sure about that, Bella? You know how our in-laws think about that…,"

"How do we think about what?" Carlisle asked as he and his copper-colored wife appeared on the terrace.

I sighed deeply and rubbed my forehead with my fingertips. The throbbing pain in my head increased while I desperately tried to figure out how to break the wonderful news to them. My coward of a –soon-to-be ex-husband had insisted that I would tell his parents, because I was the one who wanted the divorce. He was obviously trying to make me look like the bad one in this thing, fucking loser.

I should have let Charlie shoot him when he offered it…

"Bella?"

"Hmm,"

"Is everything okay? Edward called and said that you wanted to tell us about something."

Think, Bella…think quickly of a good way to tell them. Geez, the last time I had been so nervous about a conversation with my parents-in-law was when we told them that I was pregnant with Lilly. This here would probably end up with Esme crying too…

Ali turned to Emmett and I was glad that she had figured out a way to get Lilly out of here.

"Didn't you tell me that you want to take the dog out for a walk into the park?"

He hesitated for a moment. This was going to be ugly and he didn't want to miss the show. The good thing was that he had a soft spot for his niece and wanted to keep her out of trouble.

"Yeah, you're right about that. Lilly do you want to come with me?"

XXXX

"I don't understand why you don't want to try some family therapy first before you consider a divorce." Carlisle stated and emptied the glass of water in front of him. Esme had tear glittering in her green eyes and I hated the fact that this was hurting her so much.

Ali stiffened next to me and I squeezed her hand under the table to ensure her that everything would be okay and I wouldn't be running back to my husband…no matter what would happen.

"Look, I know how you and Esme think about divorce and you can be sure that I've thought about the other options. The point is that I don't want to be miserable anymore."

"Bella, a marriage isn't only about love and rainbows and stuff like that. A marriage is much more like a hard job actually."

What a great thing to compare a relationship to something that paid your rent. I wondered how Esme had survived about thirty-five years at the side of this true romantic.

Emmett entered the room with a confused expression on his face. Lilly followed him, her tiny hands wrapped carefully around Fido's leather leash.

"Down!" she instructed and the calf-sized dog followed her command. Her mouth twisted into a crooked smile.

"See, Uncle Emmett…he finally did it!"

"Yeah, I know, sweetie…but he still can't go home with you tonight. Your aunt Rosie would miss him too much."

"But I…but I…I...I… I need him." She whined and climbed on my lap, hiding her face against my neck. Tears started pouring down her cheeks and I started rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Lilly honey, why are you crying?" Esme asked her and she slowly raised her head from my shoulder.

"Because Uncle Emmett doesn't want to give Fido to me; and I really need him to protect me from the evil witch."

"Sweetie, she won't come here. You don't have to worry about that."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed for a moment.

"Stop encouraging her when she throws a tantrum like this. She needs to learn the difference between fantasy and reality."

Reality? You mean the kind of reality where her father fucked his strawberry-haired secretary in front of her or maybe the kind of reality where her mothers can't stop thinking about kissing her aunt?

"All this talking about divorce and separation is probably too much for a little girl like Lilly. It's no wonder that she's already starting to make up things…," Esme assumed and started biting her fingernails nervously.

"She's right, Bella. If you were a responsible mother, you would put her interests before your own."

Damn it, I thought. Never mess with a sugar-addict who didn't have any chocolate for almost three days now. And no one tells me that I'm a bad mother…no one. My hands started quivering as I stood up from the chair, my arms still wrapped around my daughter.

I almost stumbled as I searched for the damn wedding band in my handbag. Finally my fist closed around it and I pulled it out and threw it on the table.

"Bella, stop being so theatrical…"

"She's not theatrical, mom. You can't tell me that you wouldn't want her to give back Grandma Elizabeth's engagement ring if she doesn't want to stay married to Edward."

"Mary Alice, this is none of your business."

"Of course, it's my business, mom. Bella is my…well I care about her and I can see that she's not happy in her marriage."

"Mary Alice, please. Your longest relationships has been how long…ten months maybe? You don't know a thing about the way long-term relationships work."

XXXX

"She's sleeping now…finally." Ali whispered and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Her lips moved down my neck and I felt a pleasant tingling in my stomach as her tongue nudged against the sensitive skin right beneath my earlobe.

"I love it, when you touch me like this." I mumbled while her arms stroked up and down my hips.

She sighed and turned me around so that she could plant a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Yeah, I know that you like it, Bella"

"You don't look too happy about that, Ali." I stated and took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Then I put it to my mouth and planted several kisses on each of her knuckles.

"It's not that I don't like it how you physically react to me…it's just…," she stopped mid-sentence and walked over to the window at the other side of the living room.

"It's just what?" I asked her, hugging her tightly from behind. The spikey ends of her hair tickled my cheek as she leaned her head back against my shoulder.

She didn't speak for a very long time and I wondered what she was thinking about now.

"It's not enough for me Bella. I want more for us."

"More?" Warmth spread through my entire body and for a split second I wondered what was causing it. Then I realized that it was joy. Joy, because despite of all the obstacles she still wanted to be with me. I couldn't believe that this wonderful, amazing person cared for me…

"Yes, I want more for us, Bella."

Us….more for us…how I loved the sound of these words…

How I'd love to hear more of the bell-like sound that was her laughter…

How I'd love to have more breakfasts in bed with her…

How I'd love to see her turn the little black and white sketch into a real dress.

How I'd love her more with every breath I took…with every single beat of my heart.

More…oh hell, yes…I wanted more too…

"Yes, Bella, I want more. I know that it's probably too soon to tell you this, but…"

Slowly she turned around and I cupped her face between my hands.

"But what?"

"But I need you to know how I feel about you. When my brother kissed you in front of me…that was like an eye-opener to me."

"Eye-opener?"

"Hmm, when he kissed you, I thought that I had lost you and that hurt like hell."

"Ali, please…we've already talked about the kiss. It didn't mean a thing. Please try to forget it."

She nodded her head.

"And then I realized that you can't lose what isn't yours, it's impossible,"

I kissed her softly and let the tip of my tongue nudge against her ruby tinted lips.

"I want to be yours." I whispered against her mouth and pulled her closer again, knowing that I didn't only want her to hear but feel my words too…