Another chapter of the tale of mystery.

FAMILY SECRETS

A HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE FANFIC

Chapter 18

I felt a lot better the next day. I was able to get up and move around a bit. I was even able to go downstairs and have a chat with Calcifer. He seemed relieved to see me up and about. He would never admit to it, but I think he likes me better than he likes Howl. Which is kind of sweet. It was fun to talk with him while playing with Arthur. It also allowed Howl to do something that he hadn't done in days: Take a bath. He was in there for what I swore was three hours. By the time he came out he was back to his usual self. He smelled like flowers and his roots were no longer showing. It was nice to see him more back to normal. He still looked a bit too tired for my tastes. Either than that he was fine.

Howl insisted that he cook. I didn't have the strength to argue. So, instead I changed Arthur's diaper. Something that Howl pretty much stunk at. It was better that I do it. Howl would only complain. Afterwards, we all ate around the table. It was nice to have dinner with Michael and Howl again. I much preferred eating at the table to my bed. It was so much easier to clean that way. That mattered a lot to me. After all. I was the one who did most of the cleaning around the house. Already, I could the filth building up around the place. If I had more strength then I would start cleaning. Alas, that would start a fight. Something I did not have the strength to win right now. So I opted to take it easy. As my husband wanted.

After dinner Michael volunteered to put Arthur to bed. Leaving the two of us alone to talk. Something that we needed to do since the Soul Walk. Up until now though I lacked the energy to bring up the subject. Now, I felt a lot better and Howl seemed more open to discussion. I needed to talk to him about what had happened. I didn't think that we had much time to do it in. Someone was after me. Why I did not know. It seemed that it was because of my parents. Whatever had happened years ago was affecting things now. Or at least that's how it seemed. I might be wrong. The Soul Walk filled in a lot of blanks but created so many more questions. Who was the one who was trying to steal my soul? Why did he want it? What did he have to gain? How did that relate to what I saw? Why did my parents run away? Was that even my parents? It could have easily been their counterparts from another world. Just as that Howl and Sophie were. Then again what did those two moments have to do with each other? I just didn't know!

It wasn't easy to bring up the topic. Howl didn't seem that interested in talking about it. It was still raw, but it needed to be talked about. He had seen what I saw. He knew at least as much as I did. I thought maybe he had some ideas as to what was going on. This was more of his expertise after all. I know Howl. He has been thinking about it continuously since I first received that letter. He had to have some ideas by now!

"Sophie, why don't we talk about this later? You're not . . ."

I cut him off. "Up to full strength? I know. After all, I'm the one who got hurt!" I saw his hurt expression, but I ignored it. "Look, I know that I can't fight or even travel right now. I accept that. That doesn't mean that we can't talk about it! This whole thing has been a nightmare. I want it to end. I need it to end! I can't do that with what I know! Howl, please!"

I expected him to bite back like normal. Instead, he remained silent for a painfully long time. Finally he said, "Alright, fine. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about the madman who's trying to tear you away from your family. A madman who, by the way, we don't even know anything about! Let's talk about that!"

By the time Howl was finished he was screaming at me. Things had boiled down to our usual fighting. It was not what I had wanted. I couldn't understand why I was getting such pushback from him. Had he truly been that traumatized? Somehow I doubted it. It was something else with Howl. Something else was driving his resistance. Only I did not know what it was. Howl could be hard to understand sometimes. It made him hard to work with. He may be brilliant but that didn't make him a team player. Even I had trouble getting through to him sometimes. Like right now. I just didn't understand why we were fighting.

"So you would rather ignore it? Howl, that's not going to work! He'll still come after me. At least if we have a plan then maybe . . ."

"I'm not ignoring it." He interrupted me. "I've been planning our next move for a while now. I won't let anyone take you away. Not even some weirdo from another time. As soon as your able, we're heading out. We need answers and Strangia is provably the best place to get it. There is no point in discussing it further until you get better. There is just not enough facts! It's pointless! All it will do is make things worse. I don't want to discuss this until you're better."

I suddenly felt horrible. This was not what I intended to do. I didn't want to fight. I just wanted to share my worries. That's all. Clearly, Howl wasn't ready. I should have not pushed it. Of course he had a plan. He's Howl! He always has a plan. I should have trusted him more. I just wanted to make sense of it all!

"Sorry." I said quietly. That got his attention. "I'm just scared, you know. I don't understand any of this. I just, I just, I just wanted to do something, anything! I hate being stuck here like this. I hate being so defenseless! I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own body!" By the time I was through I was in tears. I couldn't help it. I was just so darn frustrated!

"You're not defenseless. You've never been defenseless. You're stronger than you think, Sophie Pendragon. You're not that little mousey anymore." He kissed me on my head. "It's time that you started to believe it."

I looked up at him. Howl smiled at me. I couldn't help but return it. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now stop worrying so much. There's no way I'll let anyone through." He chuckled. "Not even an army could do that! We're safe here. I promise. No one will touch you or Arthur. Hell will freeze over first."

It was sweet but unnecessary. I already knew that Howl would die to protect us. That was part of what I was afraid of. He was caught up in this because of me. If he died then I don't know what I would do. Not that Howl would ever stay in the sidelines. He always charged into danger. Especially when it was on my behalf. I was going to be the death of him one day. I just hoped that it was not this day. I wasn't ready to live my life without him.

Next Chapter coming up!