A/N You can skip this beginning A/N. If not, read on.
I apologize for the sudden A/N at the start of the chapter, but I need to make something clear right now. About a week back or so, I got an anonymous reviewer who was quite rude and said they were amazed I haven't been kicked out of any of my university classes for some of the stupid shit I said…oh, and I got called Tourette's girl…and Chōko was called whiny (I have ALREADY established that, so whatever).
Moving on, I'm gonna say it right now. I have ADHD. Akimichi Chōko has ADHD. We both have ADHD. The subtype of ADHD we both have is the Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive. I do NOT have Tourette's, nor does Chōko. Now Tourette's may be common in the ADHD population, but I can guarantee that I do NOT have it. Trust me, I would know, because I have been having to deal with getting information on it for the past two years so I could hand it over to my university's Services for Students with Disabilities (SSD). ADHD isn't a learning disability, but it DOES follow the requirements that qualified me for getting extra time on exams, recording lectures, and having a note-taker.
Now I'm wondering why someone would mistake me for a person with Tourette's and, as far as I know, I think I've been stereotyped because of one little symptom that comes from my ADHD…the impulsivity part of it, that is.
Some of the symptoms for an individual with impulsivity are, as followed:
1. Be very impatient
2. Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences
3. Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turns in games
4. Often interrupt conversations or others' activities
Note the symptoms that are bold… Tourette's syndrome deals with involuntary facial, motor, and verbal tics. ADHD is not that…I hope everyone understands. I just…had to do this.
…
The last few months of classes, both regular and kunoichi, weren't too noteworthy. Most of it was just review—kunoichi classes especially. We were eventually let out of the Academy for spring vacation, thus marking the end of another school year.
Hanabi's first birthday was spent with all of us somehow sneaking the one-year-old girl out of the Hyuuga compound for a day out in Konoha. Itachi and Shisui were absent, the two probably on a mission or something, which was usually the reason they were absent from our group, as of recently. Now that I think about it, they've been absent a lot as of lately…but I digress.
Anyways, with Itachi and Shisui absent, the fact that we managed to sneak Hanabi out of the Hyuuga compound without anyone noticing us is quite the achievement.
Oh man, we are so getting in trouble after this!
Neji is certainly panicking about it, but Hinata is being the reassuring cousin and telling him everything is going to be fine. I honestly have never been so amused in seeing Hinata being the calm one and Neji being the complete opposite.
Oh how the tables have turned!
Man, I wish Itachi were here to see this. He'd get a kick out of this—Shisui, too.
I miss that beautiful bastard…
…
I should have expected something to change within our lives in response to Itachi and Shisui's constant absences. For the most part, they were present whenever our birthdays came up, with the exception of Itachi missing his own birthday (and Shisui being suspiciously absent as well).
I did not let Itachi hear the end of that. I told him to worry about himself for once, as he was part of this group of friends and as friends, we were there for each other in some way or form on our birthdays. Itachi had never looked so intimidated to be lectured by a tiny seven-year-old girl…
"You gotta listen to Chō-chan, Itachi!" Shisui laughed as he elbowed Itachi's side. "Leader's orders!"
"I refuse!" I still refuse that title, and you guys all know it!
"Yet you still act the part," Itachi argued.
"Sh-Shut up!" I snapped, my face heating up with a rather harsh blush.
"Tsun-tsun!" Sasuke exclaimed with a wide smile on his face.
And on that day, I dealt with a chorus of "Tsun-tsun!" from all of my friends as they playfully teased me. What should have been me just calling out Itachi for missing his own birthday, became something else. Itachi at least apologized, by sneaking up behind me and lifting me off the ground. I shrieked as I soon found myself sitting on Itachi's shoulders.
"I'll try to be there next time…" he simply said as he started to walk away from the others.
"O-Okay—please don't drop me…" I nervously responded before letting out a high-pitched shriek as Itachi suddenly started running, the others following after us as an impromptu game of modified tag began. "Itachiiiiiii!"
"Run while you can, you two!" Shisui exclaimed as he carried Naruto on his shoulders. "We're gonna get you!"
"No mercy, dattebayo!" Naruto laughed.
What is my life to deserve this?!
…
…
Kiba's seventh birthday soon came up, with both Shisui and Itachi being present. That will forever be known as the day that Shisui would not stop teasing Kiba about being seven on the seventh day of the seventh month. Tanabata means "evening of the seventh" and as a result, the nickname Nanazuka, was born.
That is such a bad pun…
But it sure stuck on! Birthdays aside, Shisui always made sure to use any of his spare time to help us train when the Academy started teaching us how to use our chakra. The same went with Itachi, who started giving me tips on shurikenjutsu, while Sasuke continued to struggle with improving his Goukakyuu. Shisui was usually helping Naruto, who was having trouble with chakra control exercises.
This was usually how our days were spent, as Shisui and Itachi weren't the only ones who were absent. Hinata and Neji now had their own training regimen to focus on, as did Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Chōji. Why Chōji and I had separate training regimen (or lack thereof, in my case) can easily be summed up as me being barred from learning our clan's techniques. You can thank my fast metabolism for that, but I don't really mind. I'm muuuch more interested in shurikenjutsu…
I say, as I try to ignore the empty feeling in my chest…
It feels rather lonely without Chōji around, just knowing that I won't be learning the same techniques as him because of how different my body is from his… I can say the same thing for the rest of our absent friends. I guess that's the price of being friends with clan children.
I'm honestly surprised that the Uchiha don't have their own training regimen—then again, Fugaku has been paying more and more attention on Itachi as of lately. How I even know this, is all thanks to Sasuke voicing his complaints to Naruto and I. Ha, it's rather sad how our circle of friends now has a tendency to turn into a trio or a quintet (should Shisui and Itachi be present) after classes.
Soemptysoempty…
Any free time we all had together was now spent at Naruto's place, even if it was only for homework. Naruto's place had turned into a refuge for all of us, as his place was the only place that was completely free from our clans' influence of any sorts. We…usually found ourselves waking up the next day, piled up on Naruto's bed. It was an occurrence that happened quite often.
At the very least, Naruto's apartment was always clean as a result of our continuous visits… And on Sasuke's seventh birthday, we all booked it to Naruto's place, with little Hanabi in hand. I'm amazed at how often we could all sneak past the adults without them noticing (Byakugan be damned). Of course, this time around, Shisui and Itachi were around and, all I can say, the two are definitely now in ANBU.
Itachi is now twelve, and his and Shisui's absences happened often enough to fit the criterion… Although I'm not too sure about the absences, but Itachi's age does say a lot.
It's all I have for a reference, anyways…
Shisui was fast asleep on Naruto's bed, with a sleeping Hanabi in his arms. Itachi was trying to keep a watchful eye on all of us, as we all just laid on the floor, with our gaze focused on the ceiling. We were just so exhausted…
Itachi says that this was a typical reaction to learning how to use chakra. Neji and Hinata were tired for different reasons that involve their clan's kekkei genkai and the training that came along with it. And Shisui and Itachi are probably in the process of getting used to the ANBU life. Again, Itachi is twelve.
By the end of an hour, we were all asleep. We woke up late in the evening, rather sluggish and somewhat pained from sleeping on the floor—save for Shisui, who was smart enough to have laid on the bed when he did before he had fallen asleep.
That lucky bastard!
Due to our unexplained absence to everyone else, a search team had been sent out to look for us…or so we were told. The search team was called off when an anonymous source confirmed our location at Naruto's apartment. The fact that the aforementioned source explicitly mentioned that we were all asleep certainly implied something…and what exactly would that be?
We are being watched…
Someone was keeping close tabs on all of us. It was a pretty freaky thought, but then I found myself looking at Naruto and then at Shisui and Itachi. It took me a couple of minutes to put two and two together before realizing that the anonymous source was someone from ANBU, who had been tasked with watching over Naruto (why else would they be there?). It's honestly the only explanation I can even consider that sounds valid.
None of us got into any trouble for the stunt (somehow) and once the Academy let us out for summer vacation, training regimens were loosened for our usually absent friends (Hinata, Neji, Chōji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Shino), and Shisui and Itachi were often present, instead of absent… I have a feeling the Sandaime must have heard about our sleeping escapades during Sasuke's birthday…
It's nice to see that everyone understands the concept of stress and exhaustion.
I'm amazed that Hiashi decided to give Neji and Hinata a break… Maybe this is his way of showing how much he cares for his daughter and nephew. I think that's cute.
I'm just too exhausted to even question why I think it's cute… It just is…
…
On the day of the summer festival, the thought of our little friend in the shadows (what I like to refer to the ANBU watching over Naruto as) following us as we sat down on the Hyuuga compound veranda to watch the fireworks crossed my mind. I know the ANBU was just doing their job, but still—it's kinda unnerving to know that someone is watching you in the dark. Just, ugh…I wish I hadn't even thought that.
God dammit, Chōko…
"Is something wrong, Chōko-san?" Neji seems to have noticed my distress.
"Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?" It's honestly a question I've always wondered…
"Oh, you've noticed him too, huh?" Naruto, I was not expecting you to say that.
"Wh-What do you mean by that, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked, somewhat nervously.
Naruto laughed awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his head. "Well, a while back, I saw this guy sneaking around my place while I was watering the plants. I don't know who he is, but ever since that day, I've noticed that he's been following me. I don't know why, though…"
"How long has this been occurring?" Shino asked.
Naruto tilted his head to the side. "Hell if I know…I just noticed him recently. I tried talking to him, but he likes to pretend he's not there, even though I know he's THERE, DATTEBAYO!"
Naruto's voice echoed as he looked throughout the Hyuuga compound courtyard. He was probably looking for our little friend in the shadows. I'm wondering why I haven't done so either.
"That's creepy," Sasuke remarked as he made a face. "Nii-san, should we be scared?"
"No." Itachi shook his head. "There is no need to be alarmed."
"It's probably someone just looking out for you, Naruto." Shisui grinned as he reached over to ruffle Naruto's hair. "You're that important, you know."
"Shisui-nii!" Naruto laughed and tackled Shisui into a hug.
I can't help but smile as I look at these two. Unlike last year, we didn't fall asleep, so we actually got to watch the fireworks together. I don't know why, but I can never tire of watching the colorful sparks light up the night sky. It takes my mind off of certain things…
…
And like the years before, summer vacation soon came to an end. Classes began again at the Academy and the days went by as usual, with Shikamaru's seventh birthday coming and going. Naruto's seventh birthday was held at the Uchiha compound once more and was forever commemorated by Shisui's gift in the form of a book called, Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi. When I first saw the title, I found it familiar, but I didn't know why…then Shisui made a comment.
"I found this while I was at the bookstore and as I was skimming through the pages, I came across a character who reminded me of you!" Shisui grinned at Naruto.
It was at this moment that I realized that Shisui just gave Naruto the first book that Jiraiya, one of Konohagakure's legendary Sannin, had ever wrote. Said book was also the origin point of where Naruto got his name from his parents and how Jiraiya ended up as his godfather. I'm…honestly overwhelmed with how this ended up happening.
Geez fricken' Louise, Shisui, just…wow.
Naruto was very much tempted to read the book, but then he looked at Shisui and asked, "Can you read it to us, Shisui-nii?"
Shisui blinked and rubbed the back of his head as a nervous smile crossed his face. "Well…only one chapter, okay?"
And that was how story time with Shisui became a thing. I had a nostalgia wham when Shisui told us to gather around in a circle for story time. I couldn't help but recall my high school band teacher, who would usually tell the entire class during a football game to gather up for "story time" in order to tell us the plan before our half-time show.
I still miss my past life…
Although, it was just as nice, being able to experience moments like these in this new life of mine. In this new life, where I have new memories to recall, years from now, into the future, with a smile on my face. The memory of seeing Naruto smile as Shisui started reading the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi, with his own flair…
I'll never forget this…
Shisui is seriously a dork, but he's a good person. And even though they weren't related by blood, Shisui was the best brother he could ever be to Naruto…and to the rest of us, as much as we'd like to deny.
We don't mean what we say, after all…
When Shisui turned fifteen a few days later, he pulled the same crap as he did last year…except Iruka-sensei anticipated it this time around and had Shisui join us for a class presentation. It was a pretty fun presentation that Shisui seemed to really enjoy it…even if his forehead did get pelted with chalk (courtesy of Iruka-sensei and his deadly aim).
"Best. Birthday. Ever!" Shisui told us moments before story time commenced. We certainly had a laugh about that. Naruto sure did…
…
Sometimes, Shisui wasn't always able to read to us, as story time was only once a week (with the exception of his birthday week, where he read to us twice) and was limited to one chapter a session. Shisui and Itachi were in ANBU and with classes and training regimens in the way… Time had to be prioritized. At least we weren't as exhausted as we had been before summer vacation.
Our bodies, by now, have grown used to using chakra…to an extent. It was just to the point where we weren't so exhausted and prone to falling asleep on Naruto's bed, as we had done in the month before we were let out for summer vacation. That still doesn't mean we stopped doing that. Our families had just grown used to hearing from an anonymous source about our sleeping escapades (I assume, considering the lack of comments I hear from Mama nowadays). Seriously, though, who the hell is it that is watching over Naruto?
I have no fucking clue…
When Iruka-sensei started introducing us to traps, you can bet that Naruto was quick to use them to try and catch our little friend in the shadows. He tried using ramen as bait…only to later find the bowl of ramen empty and the trap dismantled. Naruto was beyond pissed initially…but then it came to our attention that, with the trap dismantled and the bowl empty, that meant someone was watching over us.
So joke's on that punk!
Still, our little friend in the shadows is one smart motherfucker…with a sense of humor. He didn't have to dismantle the trap and eat the ramen, but he did—that was part of the reason Naruto was so mad. Now Naruto was determined to catch our little friend in the shadows. And Shisui was willing to help.
Hoo boy, you better watch out, friend…
…
In mid-November, we spent an afternoon at the Hyuuga compound courtyard. The trees were full of colorful leaves that slowly fell to the ground in a dance-like motion. On some days, we played in the leaves, but today was an entirely different story altogether. Shisui was gathering a pile of the fallen leaves for this occasion while the rest of us wrapped sweet potatoes in tinfoil.
We were going to be making a fire with the pile of fallen leaves and use it to bake the sweet potatoes we had. There's nothing like bonding with friends over baked sweet potatoes.
Don't fight me on this one!
Itachi was going to use the Goukakyuu to light the pile of leaves on fire, but then Sasuke butted in, proclaiming he wanted to do it instead. Itachi, being the best brother he could ever be, allowed his little brother to do so. A wide smile crossed Sasuke's face as he quickly went through the hand seals for the Goukakyuu. The flame that came out of his mouth was still rather weak, but not as weak as it had been previously.
I don't think I can ever get tired of seeing Sasuke act like a Charmander…
One day, he'll be a glorious Charizard…
Or whatever fire-type Pokémon fits Sasuke the best. The fire lizard is just what pops into my head most of the time…even though a Torchic would probably fit Sasuke the best. I mean, his hair puffs up like the backside of a chicken—and I don't mean that in a bad way. I find it rather adorable…
It's just so cute to me…
As Chōji, Kiba, Neji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino, and I each ate a baked sweet potato of our own, we watched Naruto try and help Hinata get her own baked sweet potato from the burning pile of leaves. It was pretty entertaining to watch, since Naruto was having such a hard time taking a baked sweet potato out of the pile.
"Do you need any help?" I offered.
"I got this-ttebayo!" Naruto insisted as he continued trying to take out the baked sweet potato. Part of the reason why he was having such a hard time was that the potato was bigger than the rest, making it rather heavy to take out without the stick breaking because of its weight. "I…got…this!"
No you don't.
After watching Naruto struggle for about three minutes, Shisui decided to help out his little brother and was the one who gave Hinata her baked sweet potato. Naruto stared at Shisui for a good minute before crossing his arms and pouting childishly. Hinata laughed at the sight, finding Naruto rather adorable. She was giggling when she gently patted Naruto on the head, telling him that he at least tried. This caused Naruto to blush, his face turning even redder when Shisui started teasing him.
Not knowing how to react, Naruto started poking at a random potato in the burning leaf pile with a stick. His excuse for doing so was that he was trying to see if the other potatoes were ready.
Sure you were, you shy little boy…
…
On the eve of Hinata's seventh birthday, Shisui and Naruto managed to catch us a member of ANBU! The ANBU, in particular, possessed a slim, muscular build and had short, silver hair with ends that spiked towards the left. A white mask with the appearance of that of a dog obscured his face and though we could not see his face, it was quite easy to say that our little friend in the shadows was pissed.
Shisui and Naruto were laughing their asses off as the ANBU glared at them as best as he could while wearing a mask. Kiba, Sasuke, and I were laughing just as hard, because the situation was just so humorous. Shikamaru, Chōji, Shino, and Neji were just shocked, various expressions of astonishment crossing their faces. Hinata was trying her best to stifle her laugher, a few giggles escaping here and there. And Itachi was just staring, his onyx black eyes somewhat wide and his expression not as blank as it could have been.
I could only assume that our little friend in the shadows was going to give Shisui and Itachi hell for this little incident. Especially after what had happened when Sasuke brought up the fact that not everyone who looks male is male when everyone had been so quick to refer to the ANBU by pronouns that denoted such. Naruto had been quick to apologize to the ANBU, referring to him by, "Nee-san."
Our little friend in the shadows looked absolutely done as he turned his attention to Shisui, who was laughing so hard, he was crying. "No, Naruto—you had it right before!"
"Although, Sasuke is also right…" Itachi added as he placed his hand on top of Sasuke's head. "But for this situation, we also had it right as well."
"How troublesome!" Shikamaru sighed as he scratched his head.
Our little friend in the shadows seemed to be thinking the same thing, with the way he groaned in such an irritated manner. He seemed so close to bashing the back of his head against the bark of the tree that was behind him. There really wasn't much for him to do with the way the ropes were tied around him…
That poor, trapped bastard…
And on that day, our little friend in the shadows joined us for story time with Shisui. It was a rather amusing occurrence, with how annoyed the ANBU was with us. He never really said anything, but his body language made it all the more obvious. Once story time was over, Itachi did our little friend a favor and freed him from his bindings. Almost immediately, after being freed, the ANBU glared at us…or tried to, what with his mask obscuring whatever emotion he had on his face (should he even be showing any emotion), before dashing off…and possibly continuing his job of watching over Naruto from the shadows. That was certainly the highlight of our day.
Come the next day at the Hyuuga compound, Shisui took us out for dango…right after sneaking us out of the Hyuuga compound with little Hanabi in tow. The funny thing that happened this time around was that Hanabi was ready to sneak out of the Hyuuga compound. She just latched onto Shisui's leg and stayed there until we were out of the compound. It was rather hilarious, seeing Shisui walk with Hanabi holding onto his leg.
"You sure are enjoying this, aren't ya, Hana-chan?" Shisui asked Hanabi as he held up her up in the air.
"Shi-nii!" was all Hanabi said in response as she placed her hands on Shisui's cheeks.
Shisui laughed and looked back at Itachi. "Look at me, I'm a chick magnet!"
"Yeah, you're a real ladies' man!" This time, I totally meant what I said—sarcasm included.
"Aww, are you jealous that I'm giving my attention to Hana-chan?" Shisui grinned at me. "C'mere, I'll give you a hug!"
Sure, I'll take the hug…I like hugs. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside for some reason. And, coming from Shisui, it's like getting a hug from my older brother… Again, I do miss my past life, but I'm also quite fine with my new life. It's moments like these that make me appreciate what I have, instead of taking them for granted, as I would have in the past…
…
The New Year came and went, as did winter vacation. The passage of time was no stranger to us, at this point. Iruka-sensei continued teaching us about traps. Kunoichi classes were still a thing, which was pretty much nothing but thorough review on past subjects, with some deviations here and there whenever Suzume-sensei saw fit. And Shisui and Itachi were busy being in ANBU, with story time with Shisui being held less often as a result (damn you, Sarutobi!).
When Shino's eighth birthday came up and I started to worry—we were all turning eight this year. And Itachi was turning thirteen. In regards to his promotion to ANBU captain, it was either going to happen this year or it already has happened. I hate having to make assumptions, but that's all I can really do at this point because I'm not omniscient. And unless a deviation has occurred, then by the end of this year, Sasuke would lose his entire clan, Shisui would be dead, and Itachi would be labeled a traitor, thus forever setting off a chain of events that would basically cement Sasuke's inferiority complex, which did a lot more harm to everyone as it did harm to him.
All of that could have been avoided, if they had just talked.
Seriously, a lot of these things happen because people fail to talk. God dammit, I refuse to let this become another Frankenstein fiasco where everything happened because the fricken' doctor refused to tell anyone about the Creature—I totally need to stop being a nerd and I'm honestly amazed I can remember all of that shit. Seriously, though, I have enough experience with this shit, thanks to my freaking English classes, that I do NOT wish to live through it. It's bad enough reading about it and analyzing it, but actually living it? Like, no—bad times…
Such bad, bad times…
It really fucking sucks when you can't do anything about it. It's just like the Kyuubi attack, when I was only five months old… So many people died, and yet there was not a damn thing I could even do about it. All I could do was cry and cry… The only difference this time around, is that there is still a chance that it won't happen…but the knowledge whether or not it will happen is something I don't have. And it's just eating away at me, knowing what could happen…but not knowing whether it will happen.
I'm not omniscient…
My knowledge is so limited and it really sucks… There's a sickening feeling that lingers strongly inside me… It's not pleasant, and it just keeps getting worse the more I think about it. My head is throbbing so badly, my body beginning to tremble…
It hurts it hurts it hurts…
Hurtshurtshurtshurts!
"Are you okay, Chōko-san?" Neji managed to snap me out of my thoughts with his sudden question.
I don't get why it is that he always seems to know whenever I'm feeling distressed. It's not that I don't appreciate it, but right now… "I'm fine."
I don't want anyone to worry about me. So I put up a façade and force a smile that looks so genuine. It's disturbingly easy to do, when you're used to hiding troubles behind a smile and laughter…
So very, very easy…
But unlike my past life, it's much more difficult to hide, when everyone can see through my fake smiles and lies.
"You're hiding…" Oh, fuck off, Neji—not right now!
I'm fine—see?!
"Ch-Chōko-chan, you're crying…" Hinata frowned, bringing my attention to the hot tears stinging my eyes.
When did that—no, stop!
"I just…got something in my eye!" I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes, trying my best to make it appear as if I did have something in my eyes.
Please don't let my lie be that terrible!
Dammit, tears, go away!
Stop stop stop stop!
"Chōko-san, why must you lie?" Shino, please stop…I'm like moments away from ruining your eighth birthday—no, don't make that face!
Stopstopstopstopstop!
I'm fine!
"If you need to cry, then cry!" Sasuke loudly exclaimed.
Fine fine fine fine!
"I don't need to cry!" Just leave me alone!
Finefinefinefinefine!
FINE!
"Is someone crying?" Shisui barged into the room, concern evident on his expression. He looked around the room, his onyx black eyes focusing on me. "Chō-chan?"
"I'm fine!" I insisted as I placed on my glasses, even though the tears refused to stop.
"Shisui-nii!" Naruto whined. "Chōko-chan is crying and lying about it-ttebayo!"
Naruto, you two-timing jerk, I will wound you for that! "H-Hey—put me down!"
Nonononono—leave me alone!
"Aww, does Chō-chan need a hug?" Shisui said as he squeezed me gently in a tight embrace after lifting me off the floor. He tried not to look too worried as he smiled, but his eyes couldn't hide what his face could. "There, there—Shisui-nii is here for you!"
"Shisui, you stupid dork, you—" I choked back a sob, my vision continuing to blur with the amount of tears that refused to cease. My head was hurting so much, as was my chest.
"Hey, hey—I'm here, it's okay!" Shisui patted me reassuringly on the back, doing his best to calm me down. "It's okay to cry—everyone cries."
"I'm not—" I never finished my sentence. It was just too much for me. So I returned Shisui's embrace and started sobbing loudly. The thought that I could potentially lose this dork—this asshole who teases me…who's always there for us…who never fails to smile when he's with us…
Who's going to possibly die before the year comes to an end…
Why does it have to come to this?
Why?
Whywhywhywhywhywhy?!
It's not fair!
Not fair not fair not fair!
It's not fair…but when has my life ever been fair? I was reincarnated into a world where children are trained to be killers. Where old age is a life goal when you live a life where you can die at any given moment. Where the future holds a war where so many people die.
You're going to be part of that Chōko.
But I don't want to.
But you have no choice if you want to live.
Shut up shut up shut up shut up!
"Shh, shh—it's okay…" Shisui gently murmured as he rested his chin on top of my head. "I'm here…we're all here for you. It's all fine. You're safe."
Safe safe safe safe.
You are safe.
"You'll always be safe when I'm around," Shisui continued. "I'll make sure of that…"
How can he, if he's going to die?!
"Shisui—please don't die!" I sobbed as my hands grasped Shisui's shirt tightly, my tiny nails nearly piercing the fabric.
"Huh?" Shisui seemed rather confused about my request…but then chuckled. "Is that what you're worried about? Did you have a nightmare about me or something?"
Nightmare?
Try a potential future…
I guess there's no actual difference, then. "Uh-huh…"
"Well, don't worry!" Shisui said reassuringly. "I won't die! It will be a long time before this guy right here kicks the bucket! I can promise you that!"
"Promise…" I found myself repeating…
"Unfortunately," Itachi said dryly.
"Oi! I heard that!" Shisui snapped at Itachi. "Hey—you too, Itachi…don't die so easily."
"I won't…" Itachi sighed. "Can we please stop talking about death?"
"Only if you liven up!" Oh, that was horrible, Shisui! "Hey, you're laughing!"
Dammit, I am! "S-Shut up—heheheh…"
Why am I a sucker for bad puns? I usually groan at these, but…coming from Shisui—I just don't know…
It feels good to laugh, though…
"That's good, that's good!" Shisui happy exclaimed. "You've stopped crying! Are you feeling better now, Chō-chan?"
I sniffed again before taking off my glasses to rub my eyes. "I…think so…"
"You worry me, sometimes," Shikamaru remarked almost out of annoyance. "How troublesome…"
I turned my head to Shikamaru and stuck my tongue out at him. Chōji started laughing at this, with Kiba making a comment that a leader shouldn't make their friends worry. I immediately denied that I was leader. It was almost automatic…which was why everyone started laughing. I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized that Kiba said that on purpose in order to provoke me.
That jerk…
And yet, I couldn't help but smile. Even after these past three years that I've been denying it, these guys really do trust me… Maybe I should stop denying it, then…
Yeah…
…
…
I felt better after that day, now that the feeling that's been eating away at me has disappeared. Classes at the Academy, both regular and kunoichi, have kept me distracted, as did the time I spent with my friends. It also helped that I've been watching over Ino and Sakura, as well as Ami and her friends.
Ami, Fuki, and Kasumi have been picking up the pace. I've heard people talking, instructors and students alike, as well as people outside of the Academy, saying that they're at the top of their class. It really says a lot when even people outside of the Academy are talking about girls like Ami, Fuki, and Kasumi. Neither of them belongs to anyone noteworthy. They're just normal girls with dreams they wish to fulfill.
As for Ino and Sakura, Sakura was still showing a lot of progress with her medic-nin training and her friendship with Ino was as strong as ever. It definitely showed when Ino dropped by our group to glomp Sasuke. Sakura would usually show up right after the blonde-haired girl to drag her away, apologizing on Ino's behalf, in case she happened to interrupt us. Ino just laughed, telling Sakura to lighten up before blowing a kiss to Sasuke and leaving.
Sasuke didn't really appreciate Ino's affections, nor did he like the other girls who kept trying to catch his attention. When kunoichi classes brought us back to cooking, Sasuke found himself being offered homemade bento from female students. He refused them, because he was already busy eating the food from my bento box…even though he already had his own bento that his mother made him.
You little shit!
As if my long hair wasn't enough, the bento box made my situation worse. I swear I do not like Sasuke in that way! Hell no, we're practically siblings at this point! Of course, jealous little girls don't seem to understand the concept of a boy and a girl just being friends…
It is not that difficult of a concept to understand, dammit!
Never mind the fact that my own mother from my past life couldn't get over the fact that the majority of my friends were guys. Although, she eventually stopped fussing about it, but I still knew it bothered her. At least Mama, here, doesn't really mind…come to think of it, I'm surprised that Hiashi is taking the fact that the majority of his oldest daughter's friends are male rather well. I have to give some kudos to Hiashi, for trying to be a little more open-minded.
Of course, it could be because of me…though, that does make me Hinata's only female friend, and vice versa… I'm just happy I have friends, regardless of their gender.
…
Our third year at the Academy came to an end, and with that, I couldn't help but realize…three years have already passed. Just, wow…I never thought so much could happen in such a short amount of time. It honestly felt longer than just three years… And in four years or so, we'll be graduating from the Academy.
Four…
Ahaha, isn't there this whole association with death going on with the number? Shisui is turning sixteen this year, and four times four is sixteen…that's just cruel. Hey, irony—can you give a person a break?
Am I not enough?
I doubt it… All that aside, there was one thing I was starting to appreciate with Shisui. Ever since he joined our circle of friends, he's made it a habit to take us out and get a group photo taken of us every few months or so—usually during or after an event. Tanabata and the summer festival are days where Shisui insists we take a group photo.
We have photos of those events as a result, but Shisui likes to keep them for himself. He always does…
On the day Chōji and I turned eight years old, a month into our fourth year at the Academy, Shisui brought a photo album with him and showed us the photographs that were inside. Each and every group photo we had ever taken was inside the album, from our very first group photo, which was during a Hanami picnic we had just a month before Chōji and I turned six, to the most recent one, which now included a two-year-old Hanabi into the mix. The photographs were very neatly organized and dated, with little comments given to each photo. It was easy to tell that Shisui put a lot of consideration and care into the photo album.
"Inside people's memories, we can live forever," Shisui said as he continued showing us the photo album. "That's why these photos exist—so that these moments can live forever with us."
"So what does it mean to actually die?" Naruto asked.
Shisui chuckled as he reached out to ruffle Naruto's hair. "To be forgotten is when one truly does die."
…
…
"You've been reading the Hokage's philosophy books again, haven't you?" Itachi suddenly remarked, earning an annoyed glare from Shisui.
"Oh, shut up, Itachi!" Shisui snapped. "I don't see you doing anything—unlike me."
"So we're basically immortal until the day someone forgets about us…" To be forgotten is worse than death, to quote a certain Burmecian Dragoon… And, to be honest, it is actually a scary thought, the more I think about it.
"Right you are, Chō-chan!" Shisui grinned. "That's why you guys have to make sure no one ever forgets about you. Even the tiniest of memories can do a lot."
Yeah…that's right.
On that day, we all learned something important from Shisui…and I doubt we'll ever forget what happened on that day. I hope Shisui's happy, knowing that he will never be forgotten…
…
…
Come next month, Itachi turned thirteen (welcome to adolescence—where puberty fucking sucks). We spent the day at the Uchiha compound dojo, training, while the adults talked amongst themselves in their usual room. Itachi continued helping Sasuke out with his Goukakyuu, while Shisui focused on Naruto. Neji and Hinata were already introducing Hanabi to some of their clan's techniques. It was quite adorable seeing little two-year-old Hanabi trying her best to mimic her older sister and cousin.
So cute~!
Chōji and I were sparring, with Kiba, Shikamaru, and Shino watching over our match. I'm no expert or anything, but my taijutsu is definitely better than Chōji's. Of course, with the Akimichi clan techniques that he knows (that I'll never know), he could probably hit much harder than I could ever hit—but he has that advantage. I just have better technique and agility.
And there's nothing wrong with that!
Seriously, though, no one likes having me as an opponent during sparring. One thing I'd like to mention is that I have finally made through a whole year without breaking a door. I figured out how to control my own strength for once. I still need to be careful, though, since emotions can get the best of me.
Despite that, I'm quite glad I've gotten past my door breaking habit. I am one step closer to escaping my Potato Girl fate!
Hell yeah!
…
In July, four days before Kiba's eighth birthday on Tanabata, Neji turned nine. Neji finally told us when his birthday was, so on that day, Shisui took us out to an Akimichi clan restaurant to treat Neji to his favorite meal: herring soba. Hinata was willing to say a few things Neji had yet to tell any of us, so Neji was rather surprised to see that we knew what his favorite foods were.
All I know is that, after that day, I finally know why Neji always gave me his spicy food. It was because he had little to no tolerance for it. I was probably the only one in our circle of friends who liked spicy food (at least, to my extent). I have my limits, of course—but I do enjoy the nostalgia I get whenever I eat spicy food.
The days I would usually add jalapeños to my food (because my food was never spicy enough sometimes or I just wanted to add some spice to it), as my father would, with my mom warning me that I was going to "enchilar" myself. Sometimes, but not always, I ended up downing a glass of milk because I did just that. Capsaicin does that to you…
Sometimes, I get the idea of recreating the food I had in my past life, but I don't trust myself just yet to do so. Mama says my cooking is great, but she also does say that there is still more room for improvement. One of these days, I'll try making one of my favorite home-cooked meals my mother made for me…just not now. I hope I can find the right ingredients for it…
…
Three days later, Hinata and I found ourselves being dragged alongside Naruto and Sasuke, with Neji, Shisui, and Itachi nearby, by Mikoto for yukata shopping. I did not want this…nope.
Nope nope nope nope!
I'm not even sure how Mikoto found out that Hinata and I outgrew our yukata, but I'm guessing Sasuke might have said something to his mother (that little shit!). And now, here I am, with Hinata, trying on many colorful yukata.
"I think the lilac-colored one looks nice…what do you think, Chōko-chan?" Mikoto asked me as we looked over the lilac-colored yukata Hinata wore. The obi was light shade of pink and the yukata had a floral print to it…it was cute.
"Love it." In fact, I want it…but Hinata got to it first.
"And Hina-chan's got herself a yukata!" Shisui always loved to make his presence known. "How about you, Chō-chan? How you doing, doll?"
"Don't start." This is the fifteenth yukata I have tried on. I swear—if this isn't the one that looks good, then I have to try on a yellow yukata with a paper fan print and a blue obi. It's not that I don't like it. I think it's nice, but…it's not for me.
Shisui keeps trying to get me in a butterfly print yukata, which I think looks cute, but Mikoto said no (why must you be picky, woman?!). Neji was the one who picked out the pale rose yukata I am currently wearing. It had a yellow obi and a sakura pattern print.
Normally, I'm against the pattern for reasons of how overused it is (you would not believe how popular it is), but this pattern was tame. It was speckled in areas instead of everywhere. I just…I like it.
Still, Neji was the one who picked it and I…don't even want to know. The image of this Hyuuga picking out a yukata for me is a little mind-boggling—why did he even do it?
…
I'm guessing he's just as tired as I am because yukata—yukata everywhere. Itachi was the one who picked out Hinata's current yukata. And Sasuke and Naruto…they're currently asleep, with Sasuke being carried on Itachi's back and Naruto on Shisui's back.
Those lucky punks…
The exact moment they had gotten their yukata, they just conked out. Which was like an hour ago.
Oh my god, just let it end!
Please, Mikoto, tell me that Hinata and I are done. I am good with this yukata—Hinata looks cute. What more could you want, woman?!
"Are you sure, Chōko-chan?" Mikoto looked questioningly at me. "Is this what you want?"
"Yes!" Come on, Mikoto—don't make me cry!
"Mikoto-san, I think Chō-chan's had enough." Thank you, Shisui, for noticing. "Besides, Chō-chan and Hina-chan are adorable."
"Yes, yes, we're adorable…can someone get me some dango?" Or any food—I'm hungry.
"Shisui-nii, can we get ramen?" Oh, looks like Naruto just woke up.
Shisui chuckled and patted Naruto on the head. "Yeah, Ichiraku Ramen does sound good just about now…do you think you can handle the yukata, Mikoto-san?"
Mikoto just looked at all of us and sighed. "You can go ahead and take them—right after Chōko-chan and Hinata-chan change out of their yukata."
And I am out! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the changing room.
FREEDOM!
…
…
The next day, during the evening, Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, and I were breaking in our new yukata. Shisui made sure to commemorate the event by using his brand new camera. Yeah, guess who just bought the latest model? 'Course, the latest model looks like a camera from the 1950's, but in the world of Naruto, that's pretty advanced (as far as I know—Shisui sure knows how to fuck with us at times).
Just…don't talk to me about how technology works here. It's either here, or it's not…like refrigerators! And toasters…and blenders…but no TV (as far as I know, we definitely don't have one here and I haven't seen any around). Like I said, it's either here, or not and I really don't give a damn.
I don't need any more headaches.
Flash!
Did I mention how picture-taking-happy Shisui is with his camera? Because he's certainly throwing the flash around, and it got even worse when the rest of our friends showed up, I mean, Shisui was just ecstatic. It's as if the guy never did this before—oh, right.
It's his first camera, Chōko!
Moving back to Shisui being as happy as a Fatal Frame protagonist is with the Camera Obscura loaded up with best type of film to use against an aggressive ghost in a very dark and horrifying background, he's taking picture of every little thing that catches his eye (mostly us being cute, as he puts it). It's…pretty annoying and Itachi just finished pushing the camera out of his face, seconds after Shisui took a picture of him.
"Shisui, if you do not get that contraption out of my face, I will break it!" Ooh, weasel mad, weasel mad!
"Sorry, I'm just…happy!" Shisui had such a wide grin on his face. "I've been saving up to buy a camera for a while now, and just…give me a moment."
I know that feel. I totally know that feel, except it involves an animated movie about a boy and his huggable robot and a six-month wait, scrounging around for whatever information existed at the time involving it. Thinking of it now, I'm quite happy I got to see the movie before I died…oh god, the wait was so worth it and just—there's one less regret I have.
I ought to write the synopsis of that movie before I forget it…
"At least now, we can continue making more and more memories together!" Shisui was definitely going to have a lot more pictures to add into his album—dates and quirky comments included.
From Neji winning Hanabi a goldfish, to me smacking a sticker onto his forehead for being a good sport while Hinata laughed, to Sasuke and Naruto competing against each other in katanuki, Shisui had a pretty interesting run with his camera. Then Kiba and Chōji had a contest over who can eat the most takoyaki (good luck trying, Kiba—your stomach's gonna regret it!), with Shino and Shikamaru nearby, just observing the two. After taking those pictures, Shisui started showing Naruto how to use the camera.
Naruto was a fast learner and soon, he was taking pictures of Neji as he was cleaning the cotton candy off of Hinata's face. Naruto also took a picture of the winner of the eating contest, who was Chōji. Chōji smiled proudly while Kiba was slumped against a bench, groaning as he clutched his stomach. Not long after, Naruto managed to take a picture of Itachi slapping Shisui upside the head for making a "weasel" remark. Apparently, Shisui still finds it funny how five-year-old me told Itachi that he looked like a weasel.
To be fair, he does look like a weasel…
By the time the last event came out, the camera was nearly out of film. With his remaining amount of film, Shisui managed to take a picture of this year's Orihime and Hikoboshi, who were, amusingly enough, Yūhi Kurenai and Sarutobi Asuma.
Wow, just wow…
Dear god, those two were completely awkward—was this how these two got together? Ha, that'd be funny…unless those two lovebirds are already a couple—oh scandalous! There's one official couple in the making.
Go them.
After the play was over, Shisui managed to get a kind, random stranger with spiky, silver hair to take a picture of us. Shisui was completely out of film after that picture…and he was very happy about it.
"I can't wait to show you the album after this—especially you, Nanazuka!" Shisui laughed as Kiba scowled at him. "I hope you had a good eighth birthday today—and I hope everyone had a good Tanabata overall."
"Yeah, I can't wait for next year, dattebayo!" Naruto smiled widely, his eyes lit up with joy. "Shisui-nii, hey, hey—what did you wish for?"
"Oh, I wished for more time with my cute, little otouto," Shisui said as he ruffled Naruto's hair. "What about you, Fishcake?"
Ahh, fishcake…you'd be surprise as to what affectionate little nickname Shisui gave Naruto. Anyways, isn't naruto a fishcake in ramen or what? I dunno, I usually just associate the name with the spiky-haired blond and everyone's favorite main character in the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi…we're almost done with that story, by the way.
One more chapter to go—Jiraiya is a real good writer, like…seriously. I'm honestly serious about looking into more of his stories—oh, right…forgot that he writes porn. Oh my god, I doubt I'll ever bring myself to read it in the same way Kakashi does—and I'm pretty sure that guy who took our pictures was just him.
What's he doing out in the open, anyways?
We all had a good walk back home, with Shisui making it his personal mission to escort each and every one of us home. The last I saw before Chōji and I disappeared home, was Shisui carrying a sleeping Naruto on his back. Naruto was going to spend the night at the Uchiha compound, according to Shisui…whether or not he was invited.
What a dork…
I wonder what we'll be doing for the summer festival…
I can't wait!
…
…
Unfortunately, for all of us, that was the last day any of us would ever see or hear from Shisui again. Despite all that had happened—all that had managed to changed—it wasn't enough…
It just wasn't enough...
A few days later after Tanabata, Shisui was found floating down the Naka River. He was missing both of his eyes, as well as a pulse.
Chōji and I didn't find out until we were at the Uchiha compound for a surprise visit instigated by our parents. Once we were told, it all made so much sense as to why Hinata was crying and why Neji was trying his hardest not to cry while Hanabi patted Hinata on the back. Why Shino was so visibly distraught, as Itachi was comforting Sasuke, who was bawling.
Chōji had been so quick to react, crying while I was trying to process the information I received. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, because somehow—just somehow—I couldn't accept what I just heard. It was around that moment that Kiba barged into the compound, asking us if the news was true about Shisui's death. His breathing was heavy, eyes wide and filled with concern.
"I-Is he?" Kiba looked at all of us as he anticipated an answer to his question. "He can't just—can he?!"
"He is," Itachi finally spoke, confirming the absolute worst for Kiba. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't apologize!" Kiba wailed as tears trickled down his cheeks. "It's not your fault, it's not…"
Itachi had such a pained expression on his face when Kiba started wailing after that. It was an expression that just read, "If only you knew…"
And I knew…but I still felt nothing. So I sat down on the floor, right next to my crying brother, and started staring at a wall. Because I didn't know where else to stare—it hurt to look at everyone else.
And yet, I feel nothing when it comes to Shisui…
Shikamaru showed up sometime later. He didn't say anything—he just stared at all of us before making his way over to Chōji and me. He sat down next to us, still saying nothing—because there wasn't really much to say.
Shisui's dead…
"He's dead…" I found myself saying, feeling such a disturbing urge to laugh, because—because…the fact didn't want to set in. It just didn't want to set in, even though I just said what I was told… "He's dead…"
"Yeah…he is…" Shikamaru finally spoke.
"He's not coming back…" I couldn't stop talking. "Is he?"
"No…he's not…" Shikamaru sighed.
I laughed. "Just like Himawari…"
"Yeah…just like her…" Shikamaru's voice cracked. "They're both gone…"
"Ah…" that's all I could really say as I continued to stare at the wall.
Naruto dropped by for a visit not long after. He showed up, so blissfully unaware, smiling so widely until he saw that everyone else felt the exact opposite of what he felt.
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning as we all looked at him. "Why is everyone so sad-ttebayo?"
Empty…
"Wait…where's Shisui-nii?" Naruto just noticed.
So very empty…
He just noticed the lacking presence of a certain Uchiha.
Emptyemptyempty…
Who was no longer alive…because he was dead.
"Dead…" I said out loud without a second thought.
Naruto froze. "What?"
"He's dead…" I feel cold…
He's dead.
As if someone had dumped a bucket of ice-cold water on me.
He's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead.
Why am I not crying?
Deaddeaddeaddeaddeaddead…
Why?
He's dead.
"He's dead…" Why is it so easy to say something like that and yet, feel nothing?
"Hey—this isn't funny-ttebayo!" Naruto furrowed his brow. "St-Stop messing around and just tell me where he is!"
"Naruto…" Itachi called out to the blond.
"Where's Shisui-nii?!" Naruto looked anxiously at Itachi.
Itachi grimaced. "He's…dead."
The look of complete disbelief on Naruto's face was heartbreaking. "Dead…? N-No, Shisui-nii can't be dead—he said he wouldn't die-ttebayo! He told Chōko-chan that! He said so in front of all of us, dattebayo."
I felt myself cringe when I recalled the events that had occurred on Shino's eighth birthday. Shisui did say he wouldn't die…but look what happened here. Apparently, it was suicide…Neji wasn't exactly the most tactful person in the world when emotionally hurt. Neji was, in fact, that type of person.
"Seriously—stop messing around!" Naruto yelled, his eyes beginning to glisten with unshed tears. "It's not funny, dattebayo!"
"I apologize, but…" Itachi looked so pained, as if someone had punched him in the gut. "Shisui—he…he couldn't keep his promise."
"Is that so…?" A fake smile forced its way onto Naruto's face as he choked back a sob. "Ah…so he's dead…Why…? Why is he dead?"
No answer…
"Why did he have to die-ttebayo?" Naruto wanted an answer, as he choked back another sob.
I could see that Itachi was struggling to find an explanation. Neji managed to keep quiet, despite his early tactless demeanor. It was not easy telling Naruto that Shisui had been the one to take his life. And knowing that Itachi was involved…it must really hurt him to see Naruto struggling with the loss of Shisui.
I'm guessing Itachi could have normally acted calmly in canon, but here, where Naruto is around, very much deeply devastated by Shisui's death…Itachi had little to no chance of hiding his true emotions. So when Itachi stood up and walked over to Naruto, wrapping his arms around the small blond in an embrace, I could hear how shaky his voice was as he told Naruto, "Shisui told me…to protect you, now that he's gone."
"H-He really is dead, dattebayo?" Naruto knew for a fact that Shisui would never let anyone take his place unless something happened…and this was just that.
"I am sorry." Itachi's voice cracked.
Naruto started crying after that, his sobs feeling like a huge punch to my gut. Sasuke cried harder, as did Hinata, Kiba, and Chōji. Neji couldn't hold back his emotions and started crying as well. Hanabi had no idea what was going on, but being a child around people who were crying, it wasn't a surprise that she did the same. Shino managed to keep his composure, but I could see the tears that were trailing down his cheeks. Shikamaru was surprisingly calm, even though he was like Shino, tears and all.
"It's okay," Shikamaru tried to reassure me. "You don't have to hold it in."
"What do you mean…?" Shikamaru, why are you patting me on the head?
"You're being like the old Neji-san," Shikamaru explained, sounding so concerned. "Stop holding it in, like you did last time."
"I'm not…" I just have no idea how to react. I mean, I knew this was going to happen…and there's so much more that's going to happen because of this incident. I can't stop anything…this is out of my reach. And worst of all…I made Shisui make a promise he couldn't keep. "I'm…not…"
My chest is hurting. The more I think about the fact that Shisui is dead, the more I realize he will never be able to talk again. Nor will anyone ever be able to hear that voice again—that voice that was so full of life. He will never be able to laugh again—or tease any one of us, like he usually did. He will never be able to read the last chapter of the book he got Naruto for his seventh birthday…
Shisui's wish will never come true…because he ran out of time before he could spend any more of it with Naruto. He ran out of time…
Because he's gone.
My fingers are tingling and my mouth is dry. It feels as if there is something stuck in my throat. And my eyes…they're burning. My vision is blurring because of the tears welding up in my eyes. I took off my glasses and tried to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop.
"It's okay to cry." Shikamaru, you're crying, too. "Really, it's okay to cry, Chōko—you can cry."
I don't know why, but after hearing Shikamaru say that…I started crying. I cried loud and hard, because the one person we grew attached to—the same one who wormed his way into our hearts—is dead.
He's dead…and nothing will ever change that.
…
…
Itachi tried reading the last chapter of the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi to us, as means of giving us some sort of closure. He had a difficult time doing so, however, because two pages into the final chapter, we had started crying.
"It's Shisui-nii's book!" Naruto sobbed. "It's his book-ttebayo!"
Naruto kept repeating himself as he continued to sob. We found ourselves agreeing with Naruto, because it felt so wrong to listen to someone else, other than Shisui, read that book. Itachi looked hurt and while he understood, he said that Shisui would have wanted him to read the last chapter…
"Now that he's gone…" Itachi frowned. "I apologize, but…I have to do this…"
So he persevered and managed to finish the last chapter. It was such an empty feeling, seeing that book closed for one last time, now that the story was over. It was still wrong that it wasn't Shisui who had finished reading the story…
"I'm sorry…" Itachi told us as tears splashed down onto the cover of the book he held in his hands. "I'm so sorry…"
For the first time in two weeks, Itachi started crying as he continued to apologize to us. It was weird—seeing Itachi, of all people, crying. Of course, knowing his situation, he had every reason to cry, as well as every reason to apologize. After all, I'm pretty sure that's Shisui's left eye in his left eye socket. So much had happened during Shisui's final moments and Itachi knew, but couldn't tell anyone…
It was difficult knowing the truth…just as difficult as it was to acknowledge the loss of a good friend.
"I'm so sorry…" Itachi continued to repeat himself. "I'm so, so sorry…"
…
…
We went through Shisui's belongings a few days later, once Naruto decided we had all cried enough. Even though Shisui was gone, his stuff wasn't—so here we are, looking through what's left over of the life he once lived. As we were looking through his stuff, we came across Shisui's photo album.
Naruto was quick to snatch the album out of my hands when I had found it. Almost immediately, we circled around Naruto as he opened the album. Looking through the pictures Shisui had so neatly organized and dated, alongside adding a quirky little comment…it was just so strange, knowing the guy is dead.
"I still can't believe it…" I found myself saying, trying my best to ignore the pang in my chest.
Hinata nodded her head. "Y-Yeah…"
"Shisui-nii can't be dead-ttebayo!" Naruto insisted with a somewhat forced smile. "He said so himself—to be forgotten is when one truly does die, dattebayo!"
Oh, that's right…he did say that.
"He isn't exactly the most forgettable person around…" Chōji gave a wistful smile.
Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome."
"I still miss him calling me, Nanazuka…" Kiba frowned.
"It was easy to grow fond of the attention he had given all of us…" Shino remarked.
"As annoying as he was, it's never going to be the same without Shisui-san." Aww, Neji, c'mere! "Ch-Chōko-san—what are you doing?!"
"You need a hug!" Since Shisui isn't here anymore, I'm taking over hugs. "I mean, Shisui isn't here anymore to do it…"
Neji stared at me for a moment and sighed as he allowed me hug him. "Don't get used to it…"
Smack!
"I should have expected that…" Neji said, moments after I finished smacking a sticker onto his forehead. Just because I'm mourning doesn't mean I'm neglecting my sticker job…speaking of which!
Smack!
"Ow!" Sorry, Kiba, didn't mean to do it that hard.
"If you want, Naruto, you can keep the album," Itachi finally spoke. "Shisui left most of his possessions to you."
"Really-ttebayo?!" Naruto was grinning widely. "Awesome!"
It was nice seeing Naruto smiling again…in fact, I was glad that we were all smiling. We really needed this moment…
It still hurts…but not as badly.
…
A few days later, during lunch, Naruto was bugging Ino for information about trees. The other day, Naruto told us the ANBU who had been watching over him decided to drop by to personally give him a plant. It was a shion flower plant, by the way, so I'm guessing our little friend in the shadows decided to give his condolences. It was thanks to the ANBU's gift that Naruto got an idea to make sure that Shisui stays with us.
"I read somewhere that if you want to keep a soul in this world, then you plant a tree over their grave!" Naruto must have done a lot of reading after getting the plant from our little friend in the shadows. "The tree then absorbs the soul and keeps it in this world. This way, Shisui HAS to stay here!"
For that reason alone, Naruto was trying to find out if it was possible to mix Shisui's ashes with soil and use that to grow a tree. Ino actually said it was possible and that Naruto's idea wasn't the first one she and her family had heard. In fact, they have a side business doing that.
"Of course, since Sasuke-kun is your friend, I'll try to see if I can break you guys a deal!" Ino continued. "Just be patient, okay? Now I gotta go—Sakura is probably looking for me."
"Ino!" That was Sakura. "Are you bugging Sasuke again?!"
Ino giggled and ran off. "Not this time!"
It's nice seeing those two get along…
Especially with all that has happened…
…
When Naruto introduced the idea to Itachi, he wasn't against it. In fact, he suggested the type of tree to plant for Shisui.
"He always liked magnolias," Itachi remarked almost wistfully. "Now I will try to help, but I cannot promise that we will be able to go through with it. The Uchiha clan might not be as accepting to it."
And they weren't. Naruto was crushed when Itachi told him that Fugaku shot down the idea. We were all crushed…I'm pretty sure we were really taken with the idea of Shisui becoming a tree. And Ino just finished getting us the seeds for the tree…
I wonder if we can sneak out Shisui's ashes on Sasuke's eighth birthday…
"We can try!" Sasuke was down with it.
And come Sasuke's eighth birthday, we utterly failed at trying to sneak out the urn carrying Shisui's ashes. We are the worst grave robbers in existence.
I'm so sorry, Shisui! We have failed you!
"It's not my fault Shikamaru can't make a convincing bird noise," Sasuke muttered as he gave Shikamaru a light shove.
"Tweet," Shikamaru deadpanned, his expression matching his tone.
"He did say he wouldn't do a good job at it." Chōji sighed.
I face palmed. "He could have just stayed silent instead of ruining it after Kiba made the dog noise and I did the cat noise…"
"Y-You were really good at that, by the way." Thank you, Hinata, and thank you for getting Neji to help you out with watch duty. I still can't believe those two actually went through with the plan and used their Byakugan for it. So much for the prim and proper Hyuuga…
We are such bad influences!
"What are we gonna do now?" Kiba asked as he rubbed the back of his head. "We weren't able to get Shisui outta there."
"We could always plan for next time," Shino suggested. "We ought to consider the possibilities and make sure Shikamaru-kun does something other than terrible bird imitations."
…
"Did you just make a joke?!" Oh my god, I think Shino just did!
"At least something came out of this, dattebayo!" Nice to see you being optimistic, Naruto. "We just gotta try harder next time!"
Itachi just looked at all of us and sighed. "I'll try and find a day that will work…right after our punishment is over."
Did I mention that we all got grounded? Yes, even Naruto, who is an orphan—of course, at this point, he might as well be part of the Uchiha clan.
"We're all grounded and it's all your fault, Shikamaru!" You just had to botch that bird noise!
"I said I was sorry." And Shikamaru did. "Look, it's only for a week. We'll be out by the time the summer festival comes by. And we're not in trouble until we head back home. At least your mother won't yell at you."
Oh, forgot about Yoshino…yeah…I feel bad for you, now, Shikamaru.
"In the meantime, let's go tell Shisui we're coming back for him later!" I mean, we might as well since we're at the Uchiha compound and their graveyard is nearby…let's just try and put our thoughts away from the fact that we are grounded.
"Let's go get some senbei first!" Sasuke suggested. "Teyaki and Uruchi say since it's my birthday, me and you guys can get free senbei!"
I'm not exactly a fan of senbei (I'll still eat it), but free food is free food. And right after we dropped by Uchiha Senbei to pick up our free senbei from Teyaki and Uruchi, who are quite very lovely people, we paid Shisui's grave a visit. It's still weird knowing that this lively, optimistic teenage boy was dead…but the memories we had of him were still very much alive.
He will never be forgotten…
…
After that day, we were all grounded for a week and it was the worst week ever. Ageha was going on and on about how wrong it was to try and steal Shisui's ashes and just…ugh. Wanna know what was even worst? It was the first week of summer vacation and just…having so much time, but not being allowed outside—it's the worst! It's even worse when you have ADHD, because of all this pent up energy that demanded to be released!
Let me out, dammit!
I think I read through the medical book at least twice during the week…I was freaking bored! Chōji was just as bored and even started reading along when I was reading through the book a second time. I'm still no expert with all things medical, but I at least have an idea of the vital points on the human body. The knowledge still needs some work…
Once our week of punishment was over, the first thing I did during our reunion was hug Hinata. Chōji and Shikamaru were catching up and Hanabi was calling out to Naruto, who had lifted her off the ground.
"I missed you so much!" I think I might have abandonment issues in some way or form…
"I m-missed you too, Chōko-chan!" Hinata said as she returned the hug.
"It's only been a week." Neji, don't kill the mood. "You're going to have to get used to it when you become Genin."
"He's right, you know," Itachi agreed, when I wish he didn't.
"I don't want to know that now!" God dammit, I just want to have some quality friendship time, not dreary contemplations about the future! I already go through enough of that shit! Do you have any idea how difficult it is anticipating the Uchiha Clan Massacre?! I have been having nightmares for three days straight! I am exhausted…
So much death…
I never realized how much my mental health benefited from just seeing Sasuke and Itachi, and knowing that the Uchiha clan has lived to see another day—speaking of which…
"Can I hug you, Itachi-san?" I need to confirm that you are still here, and not labeled a traitor.
"You may…ah!" Itachi gasped when I wrapped my arms around his waist in a near spine-cracking hug. "Can't…breathe…"
"Oops!" I was quick to release Itachi. "Sorry…I just…sorry…"
"I-It's fine…" Itachi said as he rubbed at his back. "Just…be gentle next time…"
"I will…" Oh gosh, that was embarrassing!
"So what is it that you suppose we do now?" Shino asked.
"Let's go get some ramen!" Naruto exclaimed. "I haven't had any in the past week I've been living with you guys…"
"How did you like living with us, Naruto?" Sasuke asked Naruto.
Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "It was nice…even though we were being punished…Still, it was nice living with people."
"You're welcome to stay with us anytime you'd like," Itachi said. "Okaa-san told me to tell you that."
"Neat!" Naruto exclaimed. "So can we go get some ramen?"
Kiba nodded his head. "Ramen sounds nice!"
And so we had ramen at Ichiraku Ramen. Teuchi and Ayame were very happy to see us, and we were just happy to get some ramen. It was good to be together again…
…
…
On the night of the summer festival, Naruto decided to do what Shisui did on Tanabata and that was take pictures of everyone. Naruto was trying his best to preserve Shisui's memory, but was having a difficult time, considering the size and weight of the camera. When Itachi saw that Naruto was having issues, he took over as photographer. And while Itachi wasn't as picture-taking-happy as Shisui, Itachi wasn't going easy on the pictures either.
Flash! Flash! Flash!
Since I'm on the subject about Itachi, there was something off about him as of lately. Sometimes, he looks so tired and stressed…but then the next moment, he seems quite fine. It's as if he's trying to hide something, which isn't out of the ordinary, considering what he keeps under wraps when it comes to Shisui (something he can never really tell us).
Tonight, he seems to be trying his best to enjoy every little moment with us. At first, I put it down as Itachi trying to cope without Shisui being around… We're all coping differently, after all.
Except that wasn't the case…
It all happened after we had decided to leave early to pay Shisui's grave a visit before going to the Hyuuga compound to watch the fireworks. It was such a simple task—one that was most likely going to be added to our routine of activities from this point on, with how drastically our life has changed after Shisui's death. That should have been the case…
It should have.
We were making our way through the Uchiha district, the eerie silence catching our attention almost immediately. We all thought nothing much about it…when we probably should have.
Such terrifying silence…
It was only after Sasuke opened the door to his house that I found out why Itachi had been acting so differently. It happened all so suddenly, as if it was any other day. Sasuke was midway through greeting his mother and father, before stopping so suddenly. His body stiffened, his voice completely lost to him as he stared out, while the rest of us stood behind him.
"What's wrong-ttebayo?" Naruto asked Sasuke as he opened the other half of the door to see what it was that Sasuke was looking at. What we saw then, was a sight that will forever be engraved deep within our memories—that will forever haunt us, for the rest of our lives.
The coppery metallic scent of blood was strong in the air. It was strange that we only just noticed it now, as we stared at the lifeless bodies of Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto that were across from us. Blood pooled out from under their bodies, their onyx black eyes so completely devoid of life.
Emptyemptyemptyemptyempty.
I have no idea how long we were staring, but pretty soon, Sasuke let out a bloodcurdling scream. He screamed and he screamed. He kept screaming, until the rest of us began to react, now that we had realized what it is that we were looking at.
Neji and Hinata were quick to shield Hanabi's eyes. Neji wasn't screaming, but he was very well disturbed and looked rather nauseous. Hinata was crying and Shino had lost all sense of feeling in his legs. He felt flat on his butt, his gaze still directed at Mikoto and Fugaku's bodies. Shikamaru was horrified, and whatever food Chōji and I ate was immediately emptied out of our stomachs.
The acidic burn in the pit of my stomach refused to go away, as I continued to heave.
Kiba was already having a hard time, what with his sensitive nose. He did say something about it smelling weird, but he wasn't so used to recognizing the scent of fresh blood…until now. And what a horrifying way to learn what fresh blood smells like…
Naruto was hyperventilating, just mere seconds away from going into a full-blown panic attack. Itachi was trying his best to calm us all down, but he was having a hard enough time as is. He was so confused—so very confused and terrified.
Naruto already lost Shisui, and now…he lost everyone else. He and Sasuke…and, Itachi, too—wait…if Itachi was right there with us, then who…
That was the last thought I ever had before my vision went black. When I woke up, I was in the children's ward at the hospital. I was scared, because I was alone and confused…
What happened?
But then Hinata entered my room. She motioned at me to stay quiet, holding her index finger to her lips, before gesturing at me to follow her…and I did. As we moved around the hallway, sneaking past people, we could hear them talking. Talking about what happened last night…and how the Uchiha clan was massacred.
And that Itachi and Sasuke were the only known survivors.
…
…
…
A/N 4-18-16 Aaaaaaay, have some more edits that made this chapter even hella longer than it preciously was, holy shit! Just…things happened and…yeah, I guess this is it for now, when it comes to edits. Also, friendly reminder that this story now has a tvtropes page, so feel free to contribute! AND REMEMBER THE UPDATED SHIPPING POLL IS UP!
3-23-18 NEW SHIPPING POLL IS UP, BTW!
Remember how I said that I would be busy playing Pokémon Omega Ruby (have yet to start Alpha Sapphire, but I have started Persona Q, so watch out, Façade readers)? Yeah, that actually happened and I only recently just finished beating the game a few days ago. By the way, the music is quite lovely and I certainly had a good time with my team of Pokémon. Ahem, anyways, I'm currently staying at my older sister's home, helping her out because I need a job and she's paying me, so ya.
That being said, let me tell you about this chapter… The Uchiha Clan Massacre…it happened, but…Itachi didn't do it. He and Sasuke are the only survivors, so something changed immensely. Also, reason why Chōko doesn't contemplate too much on the future is because it gets to her emotionally, as shown with how much she started to worry about Shisui, the Uchiha Clan Massacre, and the events it would set off. This is why she lives in the moment, because when she starts realizing what could happen…she gets worked up. She's not good at hiding her emotions either once the tears start coming.
The title of this chapter came from the translation of Shisui's name. Shisui's name has two interpretable meanings. Combining the words Shi (死, Death) and Sui (水,Water), Shisui would mean "death water", which is a reference to his death by drowning. "Shisui" (止水) alone means "still water" or "stagnant water". By the way, with the way Shisui's name is…holy crap, this character was just…yeah. Also, this is chapter 16, so THERE'S an unintentional thing that happened. This chapter is nothing but death. Bluh…sorry for the whiplash and I hope the beginning A/N didn't turn anyone away.
Moving on, Naruto gets to know the story of the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi. All thanks to Shisui…who is gone, and I feel horrible because I really grew attached to this dork. Also, kudos to ChibiFoxAI, for the suggestion of using Shisui's ashes to grow a tree because she's the one who showed me how someone's ashes could be used to grow a tree…and so the joke about the soul tree came to be because of it. But seriously, I think it's awesome that, aside from being able to make your ashes into a jewel, they could also be used to grow a tree. The type of magnolia that was picked for Shisui is a magnolia × soulangeana or a saucer magnolia.
That aside, shout out to PFCDontKnow, for being reviewer #50 and another shout out for Molly Grace 16 for being reviewer #60! An honorable mention goes to Harmonic Bunny. Sorry if I haven't been so vocal as of lately, I just got out of school and just…stress…yeah…
Anyways, that is it for now, so I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm really happy how this chapter turned out, and it's even long! So until next time, everyone! KD out! XD