Kakashi looked over his new genin squad curiously as they sat on the roof, soaking up the sunshine. To say they were not what he expected upon reading their files would be something of an understatement.

The most immediately noticeable problem with these students was the complete and utter lack of anything resembling clothing, or the usual shame that one might show being completely and utterly naked before a stranger. Yet these three were perfectly fine sitting in their little cages on the other side of the roof.

Alright, so maybe the cages themselves should be another red flag, or at least something that should have been noted on their psych profiles. The need for cages aside, he could only hope that there was some semblance of normalcy to these new students. According to the Hokage, he had to take these three, or else it was teaching at the academy again. He couldn't face those kids again.

Then there was the tiny, insignificant fact that each one of them look like they hadn't seen the inside of a bathroom since the day they were born. The hair on the girl was matted and entwined with mud and sticks, and she was the best case out of the three of them. Each one of them had hair long enough to wear as a vest, if not a tunic. Their claws, as he couldn't even rightly call the things at the end of their limbs anything else.

Personal hygiene issues aside, the pink one was picking bugs off of the blonde one, while the black haired one was licking his own upper thighs clean while emitting a noise that reminded Kakashi of a cat's purr. The flexibility would serve him well in the future, especially if he couldn't get a date, but that was a little on the disturbing side. The aforementioned blonde one was just sitting there with a dopey grin on his face, and Kakashi could almost swear there was a tail wagging behind him.

Now Kakashi had been a Jounin for longer than these three had been alive, and in that time he'd seen many unique and interesting individuals, including a woman that walked around with living snakes serving as a bra. Those serpents truly knew how to lift and separate as far as he was concerned, but that was another matter to be reminisced over a hot bath and a copy of Icha Icha not in front of three young and innocent children who happened to look more like they were just pulled out of the tar pits.

"Let's introduce ourselves," Kakashi started, getting their attention. "I'm Kakashi Hatake, and I'm going to be your jounin instructor..."

Trailing off, he couldn't help but notice the complete and utter lack of understanding upon their faces. Wonderful, they couldn't even understand speech, how was he supposed to communicate with them? Thinking about it for a moment, he sighed and summoned up his most trusted canine companion, Pakkun.

"Hey boss, what's with this animal show?" Pakkun asked curiously as he took in the scene before him. "Is that one marking his territory?"

"That's... why I called you in... I need you to communicate with them..." Kakashi explained while watching Naruto hike his legs at the back of his cage. "Or at least translate for me."

"You're going to owe me so many steaks for this..." the pug grumbled before waddling his way over to the cages and beginning to bark and whimper at the trio of future students. At first it seemed like they had some sort of understanding building as they all turned to focus on him. That illusion lasted until Sakura reached out, picked up the dog and began to pet him while grunting happily.

"Boss! Get me out of here!" Pakkun shouted as he tried to drag himself out of the cage with his claws leaving scratches in the solid metal bars. He hadn't done that since the last time he took him to the veterinarian's office. Writing the dog off as lost, the valiant jounin reconsidered working with children, after all it couldn't nearly be as bad as her remembered.

Oh wait... there's that twitch his eye got every time he considered going back.

"Sakura?" Kakashi tried, addressing the pink monstrosity quietly. As she turned her attention towards the man, her hands still clutching the dog. "Let him go."

That she seemed to understand, as she bared her teeth and let out a roar of challenge. It was a rather deep one for a female, but he knew that for a human copying the gorilla roar it was pretty impressive. How he learned that is a sad tale that involved him getting lost in Training Grounds 44. Counting to ten before he did something stupid, he repeated in a calm, soothing voice. "Let him go."

The girl clung to the dog, who let out a terrified whimper that sounded more like a squeak toy than his usual begging whimper. Again she gave the challenging roar, which Kakashi met with dry and emotionless look on his face. Honestly, those little angels that join the academy seemed far more ideal than this trio all the time.

"Let him go," Kakashi ordered again, and this time the girl set down the dog and released him. "Good girl." Looking at her he really wondered just how long it would take to make her look like a human, let alone act like one. Then his eyes drifted to the other two and his mind wandered down paths of just dropping them off at the zoo instead. Honestly there was little humanity left to these three, it would probably be better and easier just to go that route.

Leaving the gorilla girl to sulk in her cage, the masked jounin turned to face the whiskered blonde with an almost bored expression. "Naruto?" the boy's head tilted curiously as a soft whimpering noise escaped him. "Pakkun, can you understand him?" the man asked as he broke into a strange almost clucking noise that he could almost remember being called gekkering or something along those lines.

"He thinks you're wanting to play with him," the dog answered from his spot safely behind the jounin instructor, "Either that or a fight, but I'd suggest playing for now."

"Maa... no playtime until after we get everyone introduced..." Kakashi argued, but tossed a rubber ball to the blonde, who pounced upon it and began gnawing on it. It hadn't escaped the silver-haired instructor that the bars were showing teeth marks from him being in captivity for so long already.

Turning to the last one, the one he had hoped to be the most civilized and adult of the trio, he found him curled up napping while a soft purr-like snore rumbled from his chest. It felt strange that his eye was beginning to twitch when he hadn't even considered going to teach those little hellions how to not get killed while killing others. Was it too much to ask that they actually listen to him once in during the year?

Well at least this one wasn't screaming holy hell and running around like a maniac. Though completely ignoring him and sleeping wasn't much better. "Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, trying to draw his attention. As the snore continued unbroken, he decided instead to attempt another tactic. Pulling out a can of cat food and a can opener that he'd wondered why the Hokage had insisted he take along, he set it on the floor and began opening the can.

The effects were nearly instantaneous as Sasuke perked up from his nap, swirled around and ran into the bars with enough force to roll the cage like a giant die. Hearing the mewling and hissing, Kakashi let a heavy sigh escape. Traditionally dogs might be the dumber of the two species, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder why that stereotype ever took off if a cat did things like that.

"Right... you three wait here until the zoo comes to pick you up, I'm going to go volunteer to be an academy teacher," Kakashi stated dryly before standing up and walking off without a care in the world. Teaching children wouldn't be so bad, at least they understood human language and spoke it for the most part. Besides, if that didn't work out, he'd just whip out Icha Icha, start reading and get killed by Iruka.

Total win-win for him.