A/N Happy 2014! I figure updating early is a good way to start the year :)

I will respond to comments from the last chapter before I post again. Thanks for being awesome readers.

Italics mean flashback

Chapter 9

Spencer looked over at Ashley to see if she was awake. They were having their weekly sleepover, but things had been weird between them all night.

Actually, things had been weird between them longer than that.

They were going to be starting high school in a few weeks, and Spencer was feeling so much dread about that. She couldn't shake the feeling that her and Ashley were drifting apart. It's not like they had been fighting or anything, but their interests seemed to be diverging.

It was hard for Spencer to pinpoint the time she had started to feel distant from Ashley. One day they had been playing video games and getting into trouble together and the next day Ashley wanted to talk about boys and fashion—two subjects the blonde cared nothing about.

This had caused a subtle rift between the two girls that scared Spencer a lot. She loved Ashley more than anything. And now when she would start talking about a cute boy Spencer would get jealous. She didn't know exactly where that feeling came from. What she did know was that she wanted to spend all her time with her best friend and didn't want to share her with anyone.

What sucked even more is that Spencer didn't feel like she could talk to anybody about the feelings she was having. Ashley was out, for obvious reasons. Her brothers certainly weren't an option and, for some reason, she didn't feel able to talk to her mom about what was bothering her.

There had been a time she had felt close to her mom, but that had lately changed as well. Her mom was always telling her that she should wear more dresses or asking her when she was going to start putting on make-up. It made Spencer feel like her mom wanted a Barbie doll for a daughter, something the blonde was not interested in becoming.

There were other friends that Spencer had, but she didn't feel close enough to any of them to pour her heart out. It seemed like everyone besides her was boy crazy. She had tried to fake her way through that phase with little success.

Spencer hated feeling different.

Ashley turned over to find Spencer awake beside her. She could see the crease on her friend's forehead that meant she was worried about something. The brunette wanted to reach out to touch Spencer's hand but held back. Lately, being around Spencer and touching her had felt different to Ashley.

She knew she shouldn't be having these feelings about her best friend.

It was why she was trying so hard to do anything she could to feel normal. She didn't want to be different; it scared her. Ashley already had a tough enough time being the daughter of a rock star. People often made fun of her for it to hide their jealousy. She hated when people stared at her or when she could hear people whispering about her in school.

The one person that had never done that to Ashley was awake beside her. Spencer didn't even know that the brunette had a famous dad until they were already very close. It helped that they'd met each other over a summer school break. So, by the time they did start school and Spencer heard everyone talking about Ashley, she cared too much about her to pay attention to idle gossip.

"Why are you awake?" Ashley whispered. Her concern for Spencer outweighed the fear she felt at her changing feelings for the blonde.

"Can't sleep," Spencer replied, her eyes fixated on the ceiling. There was a sinking feeling in her chest she couldn't shake.

Ashley giggled. "Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid…" Spencer's voice trailed off when she turned on her side to face Ashley. She couldn't believe there was something she wasn't comfortable talking to her friend about. "I don't want to lose you," she finally admitted with a lot of trepidation.

"Why would you lose me?" Ashley asked full of concern. She hated hearing Spencer sound sad and yet she wouldn't reach out and comfort her.

Spencer shrugged without saying anything right away. "Things change, people change," she finally answered vaguely.

"Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you. You know that, right?" Ashley could feel herself getting choked up. She hated that Spencer doubted their friendship. She knew she was partly to blame for that, but pulling away had seemed like the only option until Ashley could figure out what was going on with her.

"I do know that," Spencer said, but she still had her doubts.

"Come here," Ashley opened up her arms, not caring right then about how touching Spencer made her feel. Her friend needed her. When the blonde scooted over to her, Ashley wrapped her arms around Spencer's body and held her as tight as possible. Ashley could feel herself flushing when Spencer pressed herself against her. She couldn't believe how good it felt to be so close to her friend. It was terrifying. "I love you."

Spencer buried her face into the brunette's neck. She had never felt as safe as she did in Ashley's arms. "I love you too," she replied back.

The embrace did not thing to quell either girl's fears. It somehow felt like a hug good-bye.

It wasn't long afterwards that it would prove to be exactly that.

.

Ashley's body was on fire. No rational part of her was functioning at the moment. Her need to keep kissing Spencer and experiencing what she was experiencing was overriding any part of her that might be telling her to stop.

There was no way she was going to stop something that felt this good.

The best part, if she had to name one thing, because really that would be hard to do, was how hard Spencer was kissing her back. She gasped into the blonde's mouth when she felt the other girl's tongue touching hers.

Kissing Aiden was nice.

Kissing Spencer was an explosion of sensations that she felt in every inch of her body.

Spencer's brain was also refusing to function at present. If it was working, it would probably tell her to stop kissing someone who, until a few minutes ago, she wanted nothing to do with. But stopping this kiss was not an option. The blonde was experiencing something so intense and yet she did not want to stop it.

If anything, she wanted to feel this way forever.

She moved her hands up to the back of Ashley's head, making sure that the other girl wasn't about to move away from her.

Ashley moaned as she pushed herself that much closer into Spencer than she was already. She needed more. She wanted more.

Kissing a girl was not something new to Spencer. But feeling this good while she was kissing a girl was something new for the blonde. It felt like there was white hot liquid spreading throughout every inch of her. And she couldn't get enough of the sensations that Ashley was giving her.

When the need for oxygen was too much, Ashley, with a lot of reluctance, tore her lips away from Spencer's. But she wasn't done with the blonde. Not by a long shot. She looked into Spencer's piercing blue eyes for a second before she attacked her neck.

Ashley went right for the mark on Spencer's neck. The mark that had fueled her rage before was now fueling her desire to pleasure Spencer. Never one to feel possessive, marking Spencer was all she could think about as she kissed the soft skin around the other's girl jaw line.

"Fuck!" Spencer moaned as Ashley continued to keep her lips fused with her neck. She was awash in sensation and desire.

Not being in control was not a feeling though that Spencer relished. She was usually the one driving things when it came to the girls she had been with. As much as she was enjoying what Ashley was doing to her, fear was starting to take over, and she wasn't ready to stop being with the brunette.

Spencer guided Ashley's mouth back to hers. Her hands were cupping the brunette's face as things got even more intense. She moved herself off the wall with an idea of exactly where she wanted to go.

Ashley did not protest as Spencer moved the two of them over to her bed. She had neither the will power nor desire to say no. She felt her legs hit the back of her bed, and then with some maneuvering she quickly found herself underneath the blonde.

There was no way that Spencer could think clearly with Ashley writhing beneath her. It caused a chain reaction in her body that left her feeling so close to the edge she couldn't stand it. Nothing had ever felt this good, even with girls who were wearing considerably less then both girls were then. It still wasn't enough though.

Spencer wasn't sure it would ever be enough.

She put one hand on the brunette's bare leg and when Ashley didn't protest, she decided to test the waters further. Her fingers moved their way upwards without any thought as to why that was probably a bad decision on her part. Spencer was tired of feeling awful all time.

It was Ashley's turn to let out a very loud moan when the blonde decided her neck needed attention too. She let out a string of swear words when Spencer moved from her neck to her ear. The tugging sensation she felt from the other girl's teeth was almost too much to bear.

Then she felt Spencer's hand under her skirt, moving with a purpose that couldn't be misinterpreted.

And it caused Ashley to panic.

Big time.

"Spencer, stop," Ashley breathed out to no avail. While she couldn't deny how amazing the blonde was making her feel, she needed to put a halt to what was happening before things got out of hand. "Stop!" she tried again more forcefully.

Spencer was lost in a haze of hunger for Ashley, which is why it took a few seconds for her brain to catch up to what the brunette was trying to tell her. When she realized what Ashley was saying, she pulled away but did not get up from the bed. "Huh, what?" Spencer panted, not wanting to give herself the chance to take in what was happening. "What's wrong?"

Ashley looked up at the breathless girl above her. Spencer's hair was all over the place, her lips swollen from their kissing and the hickey on the side of her neck was impossible to miss. The problem was, she didn't know how to respond to the question that was rightfully being asked of her.

The longer Spencer was not kissing Ashley, the more her thoughts came into focus. She was looking down at a girl that she had told herself she wanted nothing do with. And now, all she wanted was to keep kissing her. The blonde was starting to question her sanity. It didn't help matters that the longer Ashley stayed quiet the more she drew conclusions based on past behavior.

Ashley's body was humming, but her mind was all over the place. She knew she had to say something and yet she remained silent.

"I should have known this would happen," Spencer said when she couldn't stay patient any longer. She stood up, with a lot of reluctance mind you, to readjust her clothes. And she told herself to get some of her common sense back. "Was that just some kind of experiment for you, Ashley? Was that fun? Did Madison tell you to screw with me this way?"

"What? No!" Ashley exclaimed, immediately. She actually wasn't sure she could move, but watching Spencer panic and lash out, caused her to jump to her feet as well. "It's not like that at all, I just-"

"I can't believe you!" Spencer was freaking out. As good as she had felt just minutes before, she was now feeling disgusted with herself for actually thinking that Ashley wanted her. That didn't even make sense, not when the brunette had rejected her for who she was. "I can't believe I was so stupid to fall for whatever prank you're pulling on me."

Ashley was starting to feel desperate. "Can you stop for a second and-"

"No, I can't," Spencer's voice was ice old. She had to get out of Ashley's room before she could be humiliated further.

"This wasn't a prank," Ashley told the blonde. "It wasn't."

"Right, because you've been dying to kiss me for the longest time," Spencer replied sarcastically not realizing how accurate her statement actually was. "Maybe you were just trying to mess with my head. Is that your angle?"

"Just stop!" Ashley needed to get Spencer to listen to her. "It's not that I wasn't enjoying-"

"Don't lie to me," the blonde ordered. She knew she was being irrational, but she refused to acknowledge it. Underneath her don't-fuck-with-me attitude was a very insecure person who was feeling rejected.

"I'm not lying!" Ashley exclaimed sincerely. There were a lot of things behind her kiss, or kisses as it may be, with Spencer, but doing it as a joke was not something on her radar. She took a deep breath. "Yes, I freaked out, but not because-"

"I knew it!" Spencer was furious. How dare Ashley kiss her like that, make her feel the things just to get scared and back away. It was flawed logic, but Spencer was in no mood to hear excuses or accept that the brunette had a right to stop what they were doing no matter the reason. "I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but I'm done with you, Ashley. I'm done, OK? After everything you've put me through-"

"I'm a virgin!" Ashley yelled loudly. As soon as the words left her mouth, her face went beet red and her eyes hit the floor.

Spencer's jaw dropped at the brunette's announcement. She didn't trust what the brunette said however. "What? Come off it. You've been with Aiden for, like, two years and you expect me to believe that you haven't slept with him?"

"I'm not lying," Ashley repeated her words from moments before, but this time a lot quieter. "I'm not." She finally worked up the courage to look back at Spencer, her face was flushed with embarrassment. "That's why I freaked out, not because it was you I was kissing."

"Yeah right," Spencer said rudely. She was so taken aback by what Ashley had told her she didn't know how to react. When she allowed her defenses to come down and when she actually saw how awkward Ashley was being, the blonde started to doubt how she had been acting. "Really?"

Ashley nodded and then her eyes once again went to the floor. "I, uh, just wanted to wait and…" she couldn't finish her sentence because she was mortified of what she was actually admitting. "I want my first time to be special."

"Oh," was Spencer's reply. She had been so angry with Ashley when she thought she was being rejected. Now though, she didn't know how to react.

"It's dumb, I know," Ashley said without glancing up to see how horrified Spencer must be at her admission. She'd been teased enough by Madison for her decision and received enough pressure from Aiden to change her mind.

Realizing she'd been the world's biggest ass, Spencer walked over to the still blushing brunette and took her hand, which caused Ashley's eyes to immediately connect with her own. "I don't think that's dumb," she told the other girl honestly. "I think it's kind of sweet."

"You do?" Ashley asked in disbelief. She couldn't believe that Spencer wasn't making fun of her. She also couldn't believe how much her heart was racing, just by holding the blonde's hand.

"I do," Spencer assured her.

"You don't think that makes me lame?" Ashley asked quickly.

"Not at all," Spencer replied, her hand squeezing the brunette's to make sure her message was getting across loud and clear. "I'm sorry I was pushing you before. It's just that kiss-"

"Don't apologize," Ashley said, cutting the blonde off. She was terrified that Spencer was going to say the kiss was a mistake and she couldn't stand to hear that if that was the case.

Spencer looked into Ashley's eyes and it was like seeing her former friend for the first time. She didn't know what was going on. And frankly, she was too scared to face what this all meant. "Can I…" Spencer hesitated, unsure if she was doing the right thing. When the brunette moved even closer to her, she didn't care about what was the right thing anymore. "If my hands behave themselves, can I, can I kiss you again?"

It was the most vulnerable Spencer could ever remember feeling. She wasn't sure where she had found the courage to ask that question. If Ashley said no it would devastate her in a way she wasn't sure she'd be able to deal with.

Her concerns weren't warranted.

Ashley felt flutters in her stomach that she had only ever experienced with Spencer. It had terrified her when she first felt them years before, and it was still frightening now.

But she was done letting her fears rule her actions. That hadn't worked for her in the past.

Ashley answered Spencer's question by meeting the blonde's lips in a kiss that felt even more powerful than any of their previous kisses.

How could anyone think that anything that felt this amazing was wrong? Ashley briefly considered before she was swept up in all things Spencer.