Chapter 4

Every time he closed his eyes he had that picture before his eyes and it haunted him.

Her lifeless body on the rocky floor, the slit throat and all that blood... This image was for all his time burned into his eyes and then suddenly the scene changed into the house of the terrorist's father...
His unconscious mind assaulted him with the things he had done and the person he had become in order to exchange the hostages ...that was the last what he heard before he woke up by his own crying and was ashamed of himself and disgusted...

Callen climbed the stairs to the room Deeks was in.

He knocked quietly and slipped inside.

It didn't matter how stealthily Callen moved Deeks heard him anyway. "I'm sorry Callen; I didn't mean to let the team down."

He didn't know why he apologized when it was truly vice versa...

So he was really surprised that Callen wasn't agreeing with him in that matter...

"It's not about the team." Callen said sitting on a chair next to the window, looking over at Deeks. "It's about you, this last mission…you did something didn't you, something that's eating you up inside…you can't keep it in Deeks, it'll eat you alive, you need to talk."

Deeks sat up and looked at Callen, his eyes were red and there were dark circles under his eyes, "I broke my own rule, I promised myself and I broke it…"

Callen nodded and waited.

"I can't…I need to clear my head. I need to find my center again." He said.

"Closet." Callen said standing up and walking to the door, "There's a wetsuit in the closet, I have surfboards downstairs, I'll meet you at the shore in ten." He said walking away to get his own wetsuit on.

Not many people knew that Callen surfed, he loved it, much like Deeks the waves and the ocean calmed him, and hence the reason he had kept this house when he won it.

Callen looked behind him as he reached the edge of the ocean, Monty ran up past him and into the surf letting him know that Deeks was indeed following him.

He grabbed his board and plunged into the ocean, ducking his head underwater and climbing on his board to paddle out past the waves and sat bobbing in the ocean.

Within moments Deeks joined him, "I didn't know you surfed Callen?" Deeks said his worries and fears dissipating in the water.

"I've spent a lot of time near the beach, Never owned my own surfboard until I was 20, but I 'borrowed' a few in my time, got my first from an old guy who caught me borrowing his and trying to surf, said if I felt that passionately about it I should learn what surfing was really about and learn to do it right." Callen told him.

"Me too, learned from a guy called, Sharky." Deeks said.

Callen grinned, "Old guy, grey hair, had a dog called…"

"Bob!" they both said together and laughed.

"God, he was old when he taught me he must have been ancient when you met him." Callen sighed remembering the old man, Callen had known he was a cop and despite his upbringing had trusted him when he hadn't immediately arrested him for trying to steal his board. He had been the one man to turn Callen's life around, and to find out that Deeks had learned to surf from the same man in a way brought them closer together.

They sat for a few moments, feeling the waves then both at the same time looked back and grinned at each other.

They turned their boards and started paddling towards the shore, within moments the wave hit, at least a seven Deeks thought as his mind went blank and he surfed on instinct through the tube and out the other side.

"WHOO HOO!" he yelled the exhilaration of the moment going through him.

Callen joined in the whoop as he followed behind him.

As they hit the shore Deeks collapsed on his back a smile plastering his face.

They did a couple more sets and then headed back for the house, the grill already on.

"You barbecue for breakfast?" Deeks asked.

Callen shrugged "Don't have a stove, and steak and eggs for breakfast after a set like that is a given."

Deeks couldn't disagree and he grabbed a beer and flopped onto a lounger with Monty beside him.

"You don't need to talk, all at once or even at all," Callen said as he threw two steaks on the grill, "You do need to find your own peace inside yourself and that's what you seem to have lost, that's what I'm here for." He looked over at Deeks who had closed his eyes, this time contentment was on his face.

"I will talk G, soon…" he promised. It was the first time in days that he felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders since he was back from the mission.
And he was not alone.