What the heart needs Chapter 44, a twilight fanfic

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read and review. It really means a lot to me, so please keep them coming.

This chapter is dedicated to Silvi86 and SOFisticated1. Hope you'll enjoy.

**Chapter 44**

Ali's POV

I continued nibbling on the end of my pencil and tried to concentrate on the sketch on front of me. It didn't work. So instead of drawing a new dress on the white sheet of paper I wrote down the words that were running through my mind.

Mary Alice Swan

A smile flashed over my face and I wondered if I should just tell Bella that I would prefer taking her name when we got married. It would make things so much easier for us and it wasn't like the name Cullen represented too much luck for me. I painted a heart around the names. Jeez, Ali, how old are you, twelve?

"Auntie Ali?"

"Yes, Lilly?"

"When is my Daddy coming home?"

I sighed deeply and stood up from the kitchen chair. Slowly I walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice, desperately trying to think of a good way to distract her from her question.

"Are you thirsty, Lilly?"

She nodded her head and I poured her a glass, almost spilling half of the content on the floor when I handed it to her.

She sipped on it and placed it on the edge of the kitchen table.

"Auntie Ali, when is my Daddy coming home?"

So much for trying to distract her…

"Come here, honey." I told her, pulling her on my lap. Slowly I put a wisp of her long copper hair around my fingers. It was starting to get darker, or maybe it was just the way the sunlight reflected on it. Today there was no hint of sunshine at all.

"Look Lilly, your Daddy won't come back to live in this house with us anymore."

"Are we moving to Alaska?" she sounded worried now.

I quickly shook my head.

"No sweetie, we are not moving to Alaska, but your Daddy is going to live there."

"Alone?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Yes, Lilly." At least, I hoped so. God, what would I do if he somehow managed to get custody? Or more so, what would we do?

A low whimper left her mouth and then I felt warm tears against the bare skin of my neck.

"Why are you crying, sweetie?"

"Because my Daddy is dying…"

"He's what? Lilly, what makes you think something like that? He won't die just because he's going to live on his own."

"Grandma said something like that."

I raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"What did she tell you?"

"Nothing…but she told Auntie Rosie that all of this will be the end of him and then she cried and said it could kill him."

For a split second I cursed my mother silently for irritating her like that but then I realized that it was the whole situation itself that was irritating her.

My sister had been right when she told us that we needed to explain things to her. But when would be the right time to tell her?

"Honey, do you know how it's like to be angry at someone?"

She nodded her head and sniffed, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

"You see, sometimes when grown-up people are angry at each other it's better for them if they don't see each other too often."

"Mommy and Daddy are angry at each other, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are. But they're not angry at you, Lilly. Never forget that."

I planted a kiss on her forehead before I pulled out a tissue and cleaned her face with it.

"Auntie Ali, why are Mommy and Daddy so angry at each other?"

Hmm, let's see. Your father is a cheating bastard who treats your mother like crap and then there's the fact that I love her way more than I should do it as your aunt. No, there was no way to tell her that.

"Don't you know why they are angry at each other?"

"Yes…no…yes, well, maybe you should better ask your Mommy about that." Coward…

"But Mommy is working and I want to know it now." She insisted stubbornly.

"Fine, do you remember how your Daddy always used to work in Alaska?"

She nodded her head.

"Mommy was always sad when he was gone. But when he came home she wasn't happy."

"Hmm, yeah I know, sweetie." Or I don't. I still wonder how Bella managed to endure this loveless joke of a marriage for such a long time.

"But since you're living with us she's always happy." She stated, standing up from my lap.

Then her eyes caught the sheet of paper on the table and slowly she started reading the words that I had written on it in my scrawly handwriting.

"Why did you write that your name is Swan?" she asked me curiously.

"Oh, that was just a test, sweetie. I wanted to see how it would look like."

"Are you going to change your name like my Mommy did it?"

"Maybe…" Hopefully, if everything happens like I wish it to happen.

"I want to change my name too." She stated, taking the glass with the juice between her hands.

"I don't want to have a different name than my Mommy and you."

I swallowed hard and grabbed the sheet of paper from the table, quickly stuffing it into the pocket of my jeans.

Then I kneeled down in front of her, wrapping my arms around her tiny body. I inhaled deeply through my nose as I planted a kiss on her head, inhaling the strawberry fragrance that streamed out of her hair.

"We'll see what we can do about that, sweetie." I mumbled so low that I wasn't even sure if she would be able to hear me at all. And right now, I knew that it didn't matter. What mattered was that I wanted her to understand how much I cared about her and her mother.

XXXX

Her chocolate eyes narrowed into tiny angry slits when she recognized the honey blonde figure that was standing next to me in the small garden behind the house.

"What the hell is she doing here?" she croaked out, her voice trembling with anger.

"Hello to you too, Bella," Jasmine greeted her halfheartedly, twisting her hair into a knot at the back of her neck.

"Ali, I hate to repeat myself. What is Jasmine doing here?"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.

"I didn't tell her to come, Bella. But…"

"No but, Ali. I don't want her here. Have you forgotten that she kissed you the last time she showed up here?"

No, I haven't forgotten that, I thought bitterly. But I really wished I could and you should probably do that too, it would make things easier.

"Your fiancée seems to be a little tensed today, Ali."

"You told her? Ali, I thought that we agreed to keep the engagement to ourselves until my divorce is over."

"Yeah, she told me. Got a problem with that, Bella? Maybe you're not too sure about your decision, that's why you don't want other people to know. It'll make you look less like a liar when you turn her down in the end."

"Jasmine, please, stop saying things like that. Why do you always have to be so bitchy to her?"

"Because you need to hear the truth, darling." She told me, leaning over to touch my face. Instantly I stopped breathing. Before her hand made contact with my skin, she landed flat on the grass next to us.

"I think, I told you not to touch her again. Are you too stupid to grasp that?"

Slowly she stood up again, wiping some dirt from her jeans.

"And you should grasp that I'm part of Ali's life, Bella. Always have been, always will. There is nothing that you can do about that, straight girl."

Bella inhaled sharply between her teeth, trying to calm herself down.

"You really think that you're better than me just because no man ever touched your skinny ass, don't you?"

"I know the difference between people like us and people like you."

"Jazz, please, shut up now."

She chuckled slightly, her lips twitching into a crooked smile, that made me want to punch her straight in the guts.

When she disappeared at the corner of the house, I sighed in relief. Slowly I sat down on the blanket on the grass.

"That was awful."

Bella kneeled down next to me, her face still tensed

"Yes it was. Ali. How dare she to show up here again after what happened the last time?"

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"She was here because I called her."

"You what? Why on earth would you call her?"

"Because…because…,"

"Ali?"

"Bella, look, this is complicated. Jasmine is important to me. She's my best friend and I can't keep secrets from her."

"I hate to remind you, darling, but friendship isn't exactly what's on her mind."

"I know, Bella. Please you need to trust me with this."

She took my hand in hers and starting rubbing small circles all over my wrist. The small caress sent a tingly feeling through my entire body.

"I love you, Ali and I don't want to lose you."

"Bella…"

"I'm serious, Ali. She's probably trying to lull you in with her whole psycho crap."

I cupped her face between my hands and stroked down her cheeks until I reached the soft skin on her collarbone. Carefully I placed my right hand right beneath the amber stone around her neck, feeling her heart pulsating against my palm.

"I love you, Bella. And you really don't have to be jealous of Jazz."

"Hmm,"

Slowly I leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips. Her heartbeat quickened under my hand and I licked the velvety skin of her lower lip, until a low moan left her mouth and I used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her mouth warm and tasted sweet. As if she had just eaten a piece of chocolate moments ago. So delicious…

I pulled us over, so that I was straddling her. My lips never left hers and she whimpered slightly as I sucked her tongue into my mouth to caress it tenderly.

"Someone might see us." she mumbled against my lips when she finally pulled back.

"Do you care?"

"Not really,"

"Good," I whispered while my hands moved under her shirt to circle my thumb over her stomach.

"I like that you're so cuddly, Bella." I whispered as I stroked over the soft skin of her rounded hips.

"You mean, chubby."

"No, I don't. I love every single pound on you and wished you would start to get more comfortable about your body."

"Easy to say for you, Ali, your body is just perfect."

I rolled my eyes at that.

"Apart from my stupid heart and the fact that I have the size of a dwarf…"

"I like that you're so small." She told me, wrapping her arms around my waist to pull me closer.

The folded piece of paper that I had already forgotten about landed on the blanket, and she grabbed it before I could stop her.

She giggled when she recognized the crimson blush on my face.

"Mary Alice Swan?"

"I just…I just wanted to see how it would look like."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you like the way it looks like, Ali?"

I nodded my head as I leaned down to rest it against her shoulder, twisting my fingers into the silkiness of her chestnut hair.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too and I actually think that the Swan name thing is a good idea."

XOXOXOXXOOXOX

[A/N] How did you like the new chapter? The part where Ali is trying to explain things to Lilly was difficult to write. I mean; how can you explain that to a little child. Hope it turned out okay.

I've written a little one-shot called Beautiful about a Rosalie/Bella pairing. If you like my writing you should check it out too.

Until next time, take care.