Baby I'm thinking it over; What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? What if it only gets colder? Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart? Cuz lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are
She usually didn't get weekends off like this. And while Levi was content to roll around in bed for the entire time, she actually did have a few things she needed. Levi scoffed, attempted to sway her with a couple of whispered promises, arm sliding tight around her waist, forehead pressed to her back, hand easing lower, lower, but she pulled it away before he actually convinced her, the good half hour she'd spent making herself presentable about to go to waste.
He couldn't seem to keep his hands off her this past week, and she swore his pants were off more than they were on. Not that she was complaining. But she was out of soap, and Levi wasn't as picky as she was when it came to cleaning products. Or being clean. Which she appreciated in a large way, and the warm air was presently making that borderline impossible, because fuck, he made her sweat.
"You can come if you want," she said, pulling up her boots, Levi now a good distance away.
He made a noncommittal noise, sheets twisted around him, underwear sloppily pulled up, hands behind his head. "You and Petra are going, right?"
"Yea."
Levi shrugged. "Maybe. I dunno."
She pegged him with a broken hair brush, the one he'd broken, and wasn't making any moves to replace. Levi shifted out of the way, tipping his head only, making no other move, and he still dodged it. Zoe moved in, determined to hit him, but she'd made the mistake of getting near, trying to backpedal, but he had her wrists in his hands. He tugged her down, flipping their positions so she was hardly given a moment on top.
There was a knock on the door, but he didn't even twitch, lips trailing down, focusing on making her stay. "Zoe, are you ready?" Petra asked.
Levi looked at her, his position very suggestive, whisper reaching her, "Stay here, yea?" He leaned back up, finger curling her hair around itself, giving a little tug. "for me."
She saw the smirk, and put her hand over his face, pushing him to the side. Mistake. Zoe could read the array of his smirks like it was one of her favorite books. But then, she'd be saying his face was her favorite, and that smirk he'd just given, which labelled the idea that he knew he'd won, would be right back in place. His jaw dropped, staring after her. Zoe turned back, waved at him with her fingers, and he jolted forward, scrambling off the bed, but she closed the door in his face.
He popped his head out, his clenched jaw the only indicator of his frustration, "Zoe, give me a few minutes, I'll be down."
"A few?" She laughed.
The door slammed, and she counted the 30 seconds well, she was sure she did. He popped out after those 30 seconds, and Zoe was fairly stunned, his arm around her waist, easing her towards Petra's waiting form, shadow cast over to their hall way. She looked at him, brows knitting together, really trying to wrap her mind around the time allotment. Levi had to keep her moving, while she just stared, wondering what the fuck- how?
-LEVI-
It was a fairly large mistake to go with them. Petra was more than happy to loiter inside the book store with Zoe, while Levi parked his ass outside, because he couldn't seem to find a place where he didn't, 'block the light'. He bounced a ball he'd found off the nearby wall, able to catch it without really paying too much attention to it, musing over the bookstores she knew.
And how many bookstore shop owners she had falling over her.
He counted them in his head with every catch of the ball, force he put behind his throw eventually causing it to power past his distracted attempt to catch it, crash through the shop window behind him. Levi froze, stared forward, lacing his hands in his lap, allowing himself to slump slow down, pretending to sleep. The shop owner, another young, tall male, ran outside, looked around, Levi's eye cracked just enough to see him.
Zoe walked out next, pointed the boy down the alley, turning to him when the boy rounded the corner, obviously finding an urchin, and shouting loud enough for Levi to hear. She coughed, and he opened his eye all the way, sitting up, grabbing her elbow, dragging her with him. Petra picked up on this, and jogged after them, cheeks red, while Zoe just glared up at him.
"You're not going into bookstores anymore."
"Yea."
"It's like you're cursed, or something."
"Probably."
She gave a huff, but they did stay away from things Levi could break. Petra left them at some point in the evening, waving at them with her free hand, large smile as her father tugged her back home for a home cooked meal. He'd never had one of those. They wandered to and fro for the day, eventually leaving the district area closest to the outpost.
Levi eyed her slow foot steps, looked to the looming wall. She reached set her hand to it, tilted her head up far enough, watching the shadow spread as the sun lowered, leaving them in the shadows. Her hand went next to the ladder, though it served more as a mounting platform, to make the transfer of cannon parts easier. Zoe's eyebrows pinched up, and he shifted closer, hand on her back.
His thumb rubbed slow over her her back, the white blouse soft, warm skin just a small layer of cloth beyond. She tipped, eyes finding his, seeming smaller, and he-he didn't know what to do. Didn't want to seem over eager, provide too much of a wall to lean on, because he wasn't sure he could handle her. He couldn't, and he really was the worst;sure, as he was in the case that he wasn't good enough, that she could have him looped around her finger, anytime. If she left, she could still have him there when she came back. Though Zoe might protest that she never got what she wanted.
Neither did he. But what if he needed her? No, that wasn't a good sentiment. Though he had heard Erd talking about his wife, mostly in worried terms, the anxiety increasing whenever their pay, though extremely meager, came through. He always directed it to his wife, and once he got a letter back confirming that, he relaxed. And Auruo; he made sure his family got it. Essentially, payday wasn't happy, more stressful.
Zoe reached, hand fisting on the rung,"I'm...I'm gonna climb up."
Levi nodded, let her go up, made sure she was moving safely upwards. Two Garrison Troop, obviously apart of the now common place patrols that were sent along Wall Rose. As soon as she was up, Levi went, just due to the fear that she might fall, and he'd have to catch her. The two men were stopped, talking to Zoe, utterances of Commander interspacing their words.
When Levi made his presence known, they lost their smiles, and hurried waves preluding their departure. She stared out, the sun just beginning to sink below the horizon. Her eyes dropped to the Titans. One reached, clumsily, and another was almost walking with the two Garrison Troops, though most could be seen on the half circle spreading out from Wall Rose, Trost District too far away to see.
"Sometimes, I...I think this is a dream. All of this. Just another dream. Nightmare, actually," she twisted her hands together, chewing on her bottom lip. "I could hear them, sometimes. Or maybe I was just deluding myself, but the farm, the farm was close to the Shingashi district, and I could hear them. Especially if we stayed there late into the night. Just, not exactly their noises; the banging on the walls." She shivered, hugged her knees to her chest. "My mother still believed. In one of those old religions. Not like the wall people, just; a single god."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Believe in a God."
She was quiet for a good time. The sun sunk halfway, in that far off place...wherever it was. And if he was to take part in a religion? He couldn't imagine that, holding allegiance to a negligent God. There wasn't a higher power. He'd never been convinced otherwise, from the first time he landed in the underground, to the hundred other times he'd gotten the shit kicked out of him. Levi created his own power, instead of looking to another.
Zoe opened her mouth, "If there was one, he's forgotten us."
He didn't say anything different. The same patrol passed them, lanterns alerting Levi to their position, though the two stopped by them for an entirely different reason, chatting seemed to be out of the equation, as the men asked them to leave the top. Of course, not without a good amount of stammering, joined together around, Commander, and Captain. Levi was sure the shorter one bowed, and he shook his head, going down before Zoe.
He wrapped an arm around her waist as soon as she was stable, though he took it away the next second. Their shadows stretched from the shadow of the wall, the dark line effectively casting a entertaining effect,an illusion that they were still on the wall. She watched that, her head angled down, shoulders giving a little shudder, as if she was cold, when the sun was swallowed up. Maybe by that far off place where it set; Levi supposed it'd rather stay there.
Levi hesitated, hand hovering in the air, watching the tears slide down her cheeks, her attempt to hide them. Zoe attempted to stop them as well, jaw clenching, but that trembled just the same. It...was one of his least favorite things to see, Levi had to admit. Seeing strong humans split down the middle, the wall illusion reduced to paper, flying away as easily.
His hovering hand tightened to a fist, a frantic sentence going round, and round in his head. For a good minute, it blocked common sense, convinced him that he couldn't do anything. That was the sentence. Simply, if you weeded out the list of promises he couldn't keep to Isabel, Farlan, Zoe, the Soldier who'd grasped his clean hand with all of his might, and the 100s of others before him; Levi couldn't do anything. Couldn't shoulder the weight.
Those disappointed faces were gone from his mind. Nothing but the fire that'd burned behind all of their eyes remained. And how he'd make someone pay for dousing it. The hands he'd held tight let his hand uncurl, stopped his lack of action here, words he'd spoken to them, or them to him,beat out the other ones.
But when he opened his hand, reached to touch her, she was gone, his limb only greeting air. Levi looked for her, saw her form in the darkness, and jogged to her, hand slipping around her waist, turning her properly. Zoe attempted to hide her face, whispering sorry, that it was silly that she was crying.
"You shouldn't have to deal with this," she said, waving her hand around her face. "Dunno why, I just-" Zoe breathed deep. "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why are you sorry?"
Her eyebrows furrowed, "I...don't think you like it when I cry, and it's silly to anyways. I'm sure others have more to cry about. It's selfish."
"Just because someone might have more problems than you, doesn't mean you can't have some of your own, Zoe."
Levi relaxed as best he could, guiding his hand over her face, breaking the tear track. He wasn't really a comforting presence, and he was not good at that.. Comfort. Fuck. In general, he was hard to approach, and he'd embrace that anywhere else, at anytime. Now, he was switching gears to accommodate this girl, though he supposed he was going to have to regard her as a woman, with a nice array problems that made his head spin at times.
She nodded, though she didn't step forward, attempt for any other physical contact. Saw her shoulder whatever her weight was, but he didn't see the shudder, thought it was odd that he'd been the one to stitch her back together. Levi didn't think he was good at anything besides causing pain, really, recalled them laying in her bed, when he'd looked at his hand, considered a child. He'd fuck that up, and he supposed he should just learn from his mistakes, make a decision that wouldn't bring on unnecessary pain.
A swath of people suddenly enveloped them, and Levi lost sight of her, darkness doing nothing to provide clarity. He was smaller than a lot of these people, the revelers obviously fairly drunk. He caught sight of a bar, though he was attempting to walk away from the river, find their way back to the castle. Shit. Zoe had the worst sense of direction, and just-where was she? Levi shouldn't have followed her, or at least attempted to redirected her when he stopped her. Secondly, she'd been crying, so, her already impaired directional abilities would've been worsened.
The moon was hidden behind clouds, so this was...fucking dark. If not for the lanterns the people were carrying, he'd hardly be able to his hand in front of him. Levi was swept along, voice drowned among the shouted rendition of a song. He tried for an elbowing approach, and it succeeded long enough for him to catch sight of her, wondering if he looked as shell-shocked as she did.
Still, he was buffeted to and fro, and Levi almost dove for her when he could, catching her wrist in his hand. She tripped, and fell back, yanking him with her, falling, thankfully, out of the crowd, sitting there next to him.
"Wrong way," he managed.
"Yea."
And she laughed, turning, tucking her face to his chest. His movement was more instinct, arm slipping best as it could around her waist, for the third time that evening. Levi allowed a brief smile, chin dropping on her head, just happy she was happy, for the most part. That she was here with him, which...was always nice. His thumb moved slow up and down on her skin, the tumble they'd taken forcing her shirt to ride up.
The fabric created a shock, to him at least, and he stared down at her. Wished the world was simpler. But then, would she give him the time of day? Time like this, with her warm body against his, heart beating close to his.
When the people finally moved far enough away for him to feel that they'd be safe, he moved to get up. She clasped his hand, rising with him, her hand fitting in his as comfortably as him clasping his two hands together. Maybe more. He didn't really know, didn't want to dwell on it.
Erwin had asked him what they classified themselves as. Levi hadn't responded as quickly as he usually did, because he had no word for it. He couldn't stand the idea of him coming back, and not seeing her. Or maybe, one time, he wouldn't come back. So, it had to be better just allowing them to exist as such, without labels present to bring anymore pain when something went wrong.
And he did love her. He'd tell her, if she'd believe it.
When I need the shelter, I'll know just who to call; when I need the shelter, I'll be knocking on your door. But when it comes to dying, I'll do it on my own. I've never been too clever, I've always just hung on.
/AN: shortest one I've posted. Probably going to be some time before the next one, just wanted to get this up, working on a good chunk, Bed peace, so, you know, smut is definitely going to be back in place next chapter. Break off. Then to the expedition storyline. /