A/N: Here's the final chapter.
This chapter's song is 'Hurt Like Hell' by Fleurie.
Beca and Chloe didn't waste a second of the limited time they had together. Beca took official leave from work – which her boss allowed when her head that the brunette's girlfriend was terminal – and so the couple would do something different every day.
On one day, the pair went to the cinema, despite how much Beca moaned, and enjoyed watching a light-hearted rom com, holding hands throughout the entire film. On another day, they went for a picnic in a nearby park; Chloe made the sandwiches and Beca attempted to make some cakes, although they tasted more like cucumber… for some reason…
On other days, the pair went bowling or mini-golfing or swimming. The couple enjoyed themselves so much that on occasion, Chloe even forgot she had cancer. Her hair was growing thick and curly from her head again and she wasn't racked with pains. Beca loved seeing her girlfriend so happy – their lives had been tainted by Chloe's illness for so long, and although Beca knew it all had to come to an end soon, she could see that having a definite outcome to the whole ordeal was strangely a weight off Chloe's shoulders.
Beca knew that only Chloe, being the happy, optimistic person she was, would be able to live her last few weeks with her usual light-hearted character. Beca fell more and more in love with Chloe every day as the redhead woke up every morning, still smiling and laughing. Beca wanted to stop herself falling for Chloe, she didn't want to grow a fraction closer to the intoxicating redhead, but she couldn't help herself. The pair were soul-mates. The time they spent together was so easy and uplifting despite the circumstances; and everyone around them was captivated by the love they so clearly had for each other, but it just made everything even more heart-breaking.
Aubrey was so happy for the couple. She was thrilled that they were able to spend this time together, but it hurt so much to think that it couldn't be able to be like this forever.
One night, Aubrey, Chloe and Beca had the flat to themselves. Chloe was fast asleep, her head in Beca's lap and her feet dangling off the end of the sofa. Beca played absent-mindedly with Chloe's curly hair and Aubrey looked on, a sad smile on her face. 'Finding Nemo' was playing quietly on the TV – it was Chloe's favourite film. Beca and Chloe had watched it so much recently that Beca didn't even realise that she was silently mouthing every word to the film as it played.
"I thought you hated films." Aubrey laughed, pointing out how Beca could basically write the script out for all of Chloe's favourite films.
"I do." Beca smiled, quietly cursing herself for being so cringy and 'falling for Chloe's tricks'.
There was a moment of comfortable silence as Beca and Aubrey continued watching the familiar film until the blonde quietly asked,
"What do you think it will be like, you know, without her?"
Beca took a deep sigh, her hands falling still in her lap as she looked wistfully at the sleeping redhead.
"I don't know. I really don't know. There are some days, when she has bruises all over her body and she doesn't even have the strength to stand, that I'm happy, for her, that she won't have to fight it for much longer. But the rest of the time, I can't concentrate. She seems so calm about the whole situation, acting as if nothing's wrong… but I can't concentrate. I just keep thinking how I'll never be able to watch this film without thinking about her, how I'll never be able to hear titanium without thinking about her… How I'll never be able to love anyone without thinking about her… I love Chloe more than I've ever loved anyone, but she's going to die, and I'm not ready to let her go yet." Beca whispered, never taking her eyes off Chloe's beautiful, peaceful face.
Aubrey looked sadly at Beca, noticing how her midnight eyes were glassy with tears.
"I'm not ready to let her go, either." Aubrey breathed, her stomach twisting with sorrow.
That next day, everything started falling apart again. It all started when Chloe wouldn't wake up in the morning. Beca noticed how it was 11:30, and the redhead hadn't got up yet, so Beca went into their bedroom to rouse her. Beca found Chloe still asleep, the duvet twisted around her feet, and her face pale as a sheet. Chloe had a fever, and her breaths rattled from her chest. Beca began to panic when she tried to shake Chloe awake, to no avail. Beca called Chloe's name, she splashed a bit of water in her face, but nothing worked, Chloe remained unconscious. Aubrey came in when she heard Beca panicking and decided to call an ambulance, dread and worry rising in her stomach. Beca pleaded with Aubrey not to call it, knowing that if Chloe went to the hospital now, she may never come out again. Aubrey ignored Beca's broken pleas, struggling to concentrate as Beca broke down, gripping Chloe's limp hand and begging the unconscious redhead to wake up.
Aubrey led the devastated Beca out the room when the paramedics arrived, grabbing a bag of stuff for the hospital before following behind the ambulance with Beca riding shotgun. At the hospital, Chloe was taken away on a gurney as Beca and Aubrey were told to sit in the waiting room.
Beca and Aubrey sat in silence for hours. Beca eventually stopped crying, though her hands continued to shake and tear streaks stained her cheeks. The sombre pair got lots of looks from other occupants of the waiting room who were clearly curious as to why these two young ladies looked so sad. Eventually, the pair were approached by Chloe's oncologist, who led them silently up to Chloe's room in the ICU.
Chloe was asleep, with IVs connected to her arms and a nasal cannula looped around her ears and nose, helping her breath. The room was dimly lit, a small potted plant sitting on the windowsill and a small blue chair beside Chloe's bed the only other features occupying the space. Chloe lay unconscious, a heart monitor displaying her slow, resting heartbeat. The doctor explained how, due to the fact that Chloe's cancer greatly weakened her immune system, Chloe had developed another chest infection. The infection had manifested overnight, and spread from her chest to her lungs and her heart. Chloe's cancer had apparently developed greatly as well, consuming numerous part of her body. The doctor explained how the infection greater compromised the redhead's health, and how the infection, along with the sudden spreading of her cancer meant that Chloe probably wasn't going to make it through the night.
Beca completely broke down upon these words. She felt as though the room was closing in on her and the air was being sucked from her lungs. She couldn't bear to stay one more second in that quiet, sorrow-soaked room. Beca didn't know where she was going to go, she just knew she had to get out. She stormed out the room, out the ward, out the hospital and found herself walking aimlessly through the streets surrounding the city hospital.
Aubrey remained in the room with Chloe's oncologist, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. She looked at the sleeping redhead on the bed before her; Chloe's head was tilted to the side slightly, her thin arms lay on top of the soft sheets wrapped round her body, displaying the bruising covering her skin. Chloe's face was pale, and her fever was still evident; her breaths rattled from the chest, but she still looked pretty and peaceful with the golden strip of sunlight coming from the window illuminating her face.
Aubrey took a deep breath before calling Chloe's family and asking them to come down to the city hospital to say goodbye to Chloe. The family arrived an hour later, worry and panic contorting their faces. Aubrey had to explain how Chloe had developed another chest infection, how her cancer was spreading rapidly through her body, how she wasn't going to make the night. Sammy looked shaken and tearful as he tried to console his distraught parents. They entered Chloe's room slowly, horrified to see their daughter in such a dire, sickened state.
Sam stayed behind with Aubrey, leaving his parents alone with his sick sister.
"I can't believe this is happening." He breathed, his voice hoarse with anguish. Aubrey didn't reply – her throat had closed up and there was nothing she could say that could offer any comfort or satisfaction. Instead, she and Sam pulled each other into a hug and they let themselves cry, using each other as an anchor and a comfort.
Sam asked Aubrey to come into Chloe's hospital room with him but the blonde had to decline, knowing that she needed to find Beca. Sam nodded his understanding and went to join his parents, who were sat at Chloe's bedside, holding her limp hand as tears poured down their faces. Sam had never seen his sister so vulnerable before. Chloe had always been the one who looked after him, who gave him advice on girls and told him that everything was going to be okay. He could hardly bear to look at her.
"Oh god…" Sam chocked, feeling weak at the knees and light-headed. His sister really was going to die, she was just past 20, and she was going to die.
Chloe stirred at the sound of her brother's familiar, deep voice. Her crystal eyes, the exact replica of Sammy's, fluttered open and she smiled weakly. She didn't have the strength to say anything but having her family with her offered a great comfort to her; and seeing their daughter awake helped quell Chloe's parents' raging emotions.
Beca walked through the city for hours. She had no idea where she was going, no idea what she was doing, but she just wanted to get all thoughts of Chloe out her head. The brunette thought that maybe, if she didn't address it, then this problem would go away. Maybe, if Beca didn't even think about the girl she loved, then she wouldn't have to accept the fact that she was going to die that very night.
Beca wasn't aware of the tears slipping down her cheeks or the sobs escaping her until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She span around, peering through the growing darkness and finding Aubrey standing before her. The blonde wiped the tears from Beca's face and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Oh Beca, where have you been? I've been so worried." Aubrey said, holding Beca at arm's length and looking her in the eyes. Beca struggled to meet the blonde's gaze, but eventually chocked out,
"She can't die. She can't. Not tonight, not ever."
The darkness continued to grow as Aubrey held Beca's trembling form to her and asked the brunette to come back to the hospital with her.
"She really doesn't have long left, you don't want to miss the chance to say goodbye." Tears poured down Aubrey's cheeks as she said this, a familiar sensation after everything that had happened these past few days, weeks, months.
Beca took some deep breaths, trying to get a grip on herself as people walked passed her and Aubrey on the street, giving them odd looks.
"Let's go." Beca finally said, letting Aubrey lead her a few blocks down to her car. The pair got in and sat in silence as Aubrey sped through the streets, praying that they would get to the hospital before it was too late. Before Aubrey had left the hospital to find Beca, the doctor had informed her that Chloe really only had hours left given how weak her lungs and heart had become, and that everyone should be ready to say their goodbyes.
When the pair finally arrived back at the hospital, they raced up stairs and through corridors, finally reaching Chloe's room in the ICU.
Aubrey burst into Chloe's hospital room ahead of Beca with a terrible question etched on her face. But there was a nurse inside who answered immediately,
"It's okay," she said, "You're in time."
Aubrey and Beca joined Chloe's family around the sick redhead's bedside. Sammy and his parents took a step back, allowing Beca to sit right beside Chloe. Chloe's eyes fluttered open as she felt Beca sit down,
"Beca?" came Chloe, her voice thick and low and almost impossible to hear.
"I'm here." Beca chocked, her words nearly lost as a great sob racked through her body. This was really happening. Chloe was really dying. No one said anything as silence consumed the room, but weakly Chloe reached out her hand.
Asking Beca to take it. Take it and not let go.
The heart monitor beside Chloe started emit slow, sombre beeps that filled the crushing silence of the room.
Beca wanted to ask a doctor, ask a nurse, ask anyone what was going to happen, but she didn't dare, because she already knew. She already knew what was going to happen. All Beca's nightmares where coming true; every terror that haunted her at night and horror that distracted her during the day were laid out in front of her, and there was no ignoring them, no pretending they weren't real. Because this were real, and there was nothing Beca could do to stop her nightmares from reaching their inevitable, dreaded conclusion
Chloe's eyes drifted closed, and here breathing continued raking out her throat – each breath seemingly more laboured and pained than the previous one. Beca shook her head, tears dripping off the end of her nose. This couldn't be happening.
Ignoring everyone else in the room, Beca looked right at Chloe and squeezed the redhead's hand, deciding it was time she accepted the terrifying, bitter truth: Chloe was going to die. Right here, Chloe was going to die before Beca's eyes.
"I don't want you to go…" Beca mumbled, her words shaking as they fell from her mouth.
"I don't want to go either," Chloe said in her heavy, weak voice. She opened her eyes again, and Beca looked hard into them, taking in all the details and features of Chloe's beautiful face, not wanting to ever forget them. Chloe's crystal blue eyes shone with tears and her pink lips were parted slightly. The nasal cannula tickled her nose and hurt her ears, but she ignored all her pains and looked right back at Beca, soaking in the comfort and familiarity of her face.
"I love you." Chloe breathed as she fell unconscious again, all the strength sapped from her.
"I love you too." Beca whispered, her throat constricting and her heart twisting with pain.
There was a moment of silence before Chloe's heart monitor emitted one long, monotonous beep. A small group of doctors slowly came into the room and announced Chloe's time of death, slowly unhooking her from all the machines that had failed to keep her alive.
Chloe was gone. She had slipped from Beca's grasp, her laugh never again to be heard, her voice never again to be treasured, her eyes never again to open.
Chloe Beale was gone. She had died right before Beca, her hand going limp and cold in Beca's grip, no matter how hard she held on.
'How can I say this without breaking,
How can I say this without taking over,
How can I put it down into words,
When it's almost too much for my soul alone.
I loved and I loved and I lost you.
I loved and I loved and I lost you…'