And please remember me, seldomly, in the car behind the carnival. My hand between your knees, you turn from me, and said the trapeze act was wonderful (re:end of this half)
Levi stood still, eyes forward, arms spread to the side. His squad was trying not to laugh too hard, and Zoe covered her face with her hands, trying to apologize, but he really did look funny. The birds shifted, wings fluttering as they hopped, Zoe reflecting that this was the most color she'd seen on him, blue jays mixing with robins and fat yellow ones, the late afternoon apparently a busy hour.
She had no idea what she'd done, because she was fairly sure that'd been soap. Wasn't it? But then, this was also Eren's fault, because he'd tripped, and with that the bird feed had arched through the air, fallen on Levi on chance, as he'd been walking towards her to sort out the issue with his cape. The birds had zeroed in on him, and thus, Levi had been made into a makeshift bird feeder.
He let them have it, though Eren was running back from the castle with enough material to take care of the situation. Levi moved when the last bird was ousted from his shoulders, brushing himself off, eyes cutting to her. His squad had dispersed, and he stepped past her, grumbling under his breath. She jogged after him, rounding the castle to the large garden they had going.
The recruits had just finished there, looking fairly happy as everyone moved to training, rather than agriculture. She caught him, apologized, ignoring his little snipes, putting some effort into the words, coaxing him to her. Finally, he angled his head down, murmured to her, words lacking the bite they'd had, kissing her, tongue passing quickly over his lips, hands shifting over her hips, tugging her to him. Wondered what her lips tasted like to him, if he looked that happy, along with him licking his lips like that.
Zoe leaned back, made him put a bit of effort into this now, laughing as he ducked his head further. His hands gripped tight at her, rough enough that she swore she could feel the indents left. She left her hands in his hair, looked over his shoulder, just trying to pick up for the lack of regard he gave for being watched, though she soon joined that feeling.
His hands pushed under her clothes, yanking her back to him if she ever moved more than an inch, leaving her to catch her breath. Levi turned her, and she didn't have a moment to do that, swore his hands were everywhere, wanted them in one or two places. He popped her buttons, though Zoe attempted to protest this, but then her name rolled off his tongue, and she didn't care about her clothes anymore.
Wanted them off, because it was fucking hot. In two senses of the words, as having those quick hands sliding over her skin was so, so good. He was hardly heeding her 'slow it down', the exchange going farther than just him feeling her up. Zoe attempted to bring his attention to their surroundings, but she couldn't seem to get a word out that wasn't something to encourage him.
"Bed," she finally managed.
"Wha?" Levi didn't get the t part down.
"Bed."
He paused, then nodded. They went up through the kitchen, managing to avoid everybody, though the population had steadily increased. Levi didn't stop to care about his clothes, and she started to complain about the unfair nature of her being absolutely naked while he got to stand there with some semblance of decency, though his pants were hardly held up. Also, her complaints were quickly dashed as he kissed down, her legs shifted over his shoulders, and she really forgot about a lot of things.
It was familiar, this, though he always managed to do something new, or maybe she was over thinking the feeling. Still, he did something with his tongue, and she fell apart every single time, didn't matter what fucking situation. So good, she hated him for a second, wished she had a complaint concerning his technique, just wanted something to hold a candle to him. Maybe a 'you could've fucked me harder', but then, he took that very seriously.
Her hands tangled in his hair, wondered if it hurt him, but he made a noise against her, pushing her farther up the bed, back bending, making an effort to get closer to her. Fuck, that was; she couldn't voice much else, but a steadily slurred 'just like that', eventually tapering off. He wasn't moving far enough to even attempt his normal teasing, he just- fucking, fuck, so-
His nails dug into the skin of her thighs, other hand used to hold her open to him, eyes flicking once to hers, easing back for only a second. He shifted again, muscles of his back moving as well under his skin, Levi pressing his lips to her inner thigh, same one he had his nails in. Her breath shook from her frame, keeping her eyes on his, hardly daring to move, wished she could hire a painter or something, see if they could capture the moment. But that was silly, because she saw that look in his eyes a couple times a day.
His voice was rough, "Yea?"
"Yea," she responded, didn't know what for, if he needed validation, whatever.
He closed his eyes, smirk touching his red lips, touching down. "Good."
And maybe she was left wondering sometimes. About what he was feeling, because LEvi was difficult to read on his good days. Still, she knew what he wanted, what he liked, though she wondered if any of her deeper feelings were mutual. Zoe forgot about that when they were like this, preferred it, even, despite the lack of visual empathy, though maybe, that's why she'd choose it, because there was more present.
Her train of thought was lost, hands twisting in their sheets, noticing that Levi had changed them out, then ignored that as well. Focused on physical again. How his tongue was lolling to and fro, fingers slipping into her, that little noise he made against her. A smaller orgasm shot through her, right after a far larger one, his fingers coaxing that out of her, gave her something to clench around, going limp as she came down.
He hummed, and she twitched, glaring at him, wanting to enjoy this. The shithead. And she swore he liked it when she called him names, a smirk over his lips as he moved in, fingers leaving her. Levi kissed her, tongue slipping into her mouth, hands sliding slow over her body, and she let hers draped over the back of his neck, digging her nail into his skin.
His hands left her body, to which she whined, breaking away to find out where they'd gone. He tossed his pants to the side, looking back at her when they hit the floor, body curving down, hard muscle pressing her into the mattress. The kiss contained a bite this time, her hand gripping tight in his hair, other on his back, responding with what she could.
Her breath hitched, and she let her arms drape around his neck, allowing herself to be jostled as he lead her legs to place around his waist. His lips didn't meet hers again, Levi pressing them instead to her jawline, kissing unhurriedly along that location, as if they really had all the time in the world. Teeth came into play, and she tipped her head to the side, allowing him to do a bit of damage.
Zoe gave a soft, pitchy noises, somewhat disappointed, when he turned her, set her on her knees. She told herself not to be silly, let her forearms prop herself up, arching her back down, watching him over her shoulder. He made a low noise, hand smoothing over her stomach, letting her breath in the lull before he pressed himself into her. As always, a quick flash of pride shuddered down her frame, knowing she was the only one who had him like this.
The only one who made his composure break, have him this desperate, manhandling her into position. Levi claimed he could fuck his orders into her, pressing her into the mattress, waiting for her agreement. Her answer was hardly distinguishable, almost shouted, yanking the sheets harder, giving her some grip.
He pressed his face into her neck, breathing harsh, the fairly obscene noises of him fucking into her just as loud. Zoe gritted her teeth, disliking that he found it necessary to give her barely a second to adjust. But fuck. Fuck, he knew her body, a bare amount of time stretching before he shifted himself, hit her g-spot, made her bit her bottom lip, loud moan muffled. Levi cursed, hips snapping hard to hers, keeping them there, not pulling out any more, just grinding there as she shuddered under him.
He tipped back, enough to press a few kisses over her back, mouthing over something that made her threaten to give under him, stamina nothing compared to his. She made a pitiful noise, walls squeezing around his cock, caught small moan thrumming in his throat. Zoe rocked back, just enough for some friction, needed a bit more, didn't want to say something, focusing on breathing.
"Fucking tell me," his teeth pressed over her neck movement rocking her forward, no mind her hold in the sheets. "Tell me who."
She shuddered, trying to string together a sentence. "you."
"Spell it out," he said, hips starting to move again, and her mouth dropped open.
"It's-"
"I fucking want to hear you say it, Zoe," His breath was coming harder, fingers moving against her clit, practiced, almost. "Don't I fuck you right? Better than anyone. You love it, love it, love how I fill you up, don't you? Stretched around me, just like this. Tight, hot; fucking perfect. I'll fuck you however you want, just let me hear you."
She trembled, little black spots in her vision, feeling her orgasm coming closer. "Fuck, fuck, everything- it's fucking yours, Levi, shit, give it-" a moan broke her phrase, but she continued, words spilling from her lips, replacing some words with fuck, "to me. Fucking need that, fuck me hard, Captain," said the word like it was magic,hoped she'd pressed the right button, "Levi, please," he pulled her hair, cut her off, angled her so he could kiss her. His arm moved fast under her, over her stomach, held her up till he moved, let her fall, though he followed her somewhat.
He breathed into her ear, deep voice absolutely filthy, "You're not going to forget it, are you? You're mine, Zoe, it's all fucking mine. That mouth- huh?" He was dwindling to the same page she was on, the hardly sentence forming one.
She never would. Never mind his bruising grip on her; that did his job of reminding her till the little bruises the next day. And that hand print on her ass? Zoe shouted his name, jerking under him, forehead resting on the sheets, mouth wide as she tried to fill her empty lungs, twisting slow. His hand gripped the sheets tight next to her, her name on his lips again, even though his weight was almost crushing now.
His body shuddered, and he fell to the side, sweat-slick skin making her almost too hot, "Fuck," he whispered.
"What?" She said.
"Dirty."
"Shut up."
He hummed, shifting. "Bath?"
Levi rolled out of bed, grabbing underwear and loose clothes, pawing briefly at his messy hair, a few strands stuck to his forehead. She watched him, easing onto her side, saw that little smirk, wished she had energy to smack him. Her eyes went to the window, saw the night sky, gave a sigh, turned back to Levi.
"You'll do all the work?"
"Of course."
"And what else?"
"What?"
"I thought you liked cleaning."
He walked back slowly to her, dipped close, "You want me to bathe you?"
"That'd be nice." She saw his eyes deviate, travel over her body. "Unless you like me dirty."His eyes went back to her in an instant. "Yea?" Zoe reached, let her fingers travel over his jaw line. "Dirty for you, hmm? Wash it off," He nodded, though his eyes were attempting to watch her fingers as she allowed them to trail, dipping in the line of his pants. "Then what, fuck me till I'm dripping with you? Fucking filthy."
"Fuck," he hissed, whole body tense. "That mouth, Zoe." Last time he'd said that, he'd jogged out of a meeting, caught her, though she'd seen him shifting. So hard he couldn't sit still.
"You like it, then?"
He crouched, "yea, Zoe." He reached, let his thumb skim over her cheekbone. "I love you dirty for me. Love you."
For a brief second, they broke off, tension swinging off. Her eyebrows twisted up, looked him right in the eye, waiting for him to say it again without anything behind it, feeling it there as well, the 'l' word. As well as the 'o' a little while back. Wondered why they were…why she was too messed up to even say it to him, that word, didn't want to consider it. It might pop out.
Zoe let her eyes drop away, kissed him instead, nipping his bottom lip enough to break the mood, a different tense dropping away, and the trapeze swingers traded places, apparently.
The only time he loved her was in her dreams. So she'd keep that there, determined not to delude herself. Mix dream with reality.
-LEVI-
It's not love, but it's pretty close. (...) Curled up with my head on your chest; it's the best remedy for the pain and the stress. If the world doesn't change then we'll never get dressed. It'll be like this to the kiss of the death. Not a good team; one soul, two halves. No joke, who laughs?
Just us.
They slept well into the afternoon. Or, she did, and Levi had made efforts as to keep her sleeping, knowing they had at least a day to stay in bed. When she did wake up, it was due to the food he brought up with him, Zoe sitting up with their sheets around her. He'd changed them while she was sleeping, which had been somewhat difficult. But in the name of cleaning, he'd continued.
Levi had the tray on the bed side table, watching her, with her messy hair, smiling to himself, thought she managed to be adorable with those curls that were only produced when she did nothing with her hair after a shower. She looked at him, elbowed him, though there wasn't any weight put into it, and she leaned on him instead. Her legs moved under the blankets, Levi letting one his hang off of the bed, swinging to and fro.
They shifted, and Levi curled up, rested his head on her stomach. He locked his hands behind his head, though one separated to smooth over her skin. Zoe motioned towards the ceiling, Levi watching her paint pictures in the air to go along with her stories. Those silly little stories that had sadness laced in them, about how her brother got her out of trouble, or tipped a cow. How Jaz managed to not get caught, but Zoe wasn't sneaky enough to manage that.
He coughed, looking at her, pointing out his previous statements. Levi got his hair pulled for that, her nose screwing up as she did, going silent until she heard an apology, or at least some regretful muttering. A hummed sigh pushed past his lips when she began talking, happy to have her voice back, closing his eyes to focus on it. Like he did on expeditions when he was finally given downtime.
Also, when Hanji started talking to him. Great way to tune her out, because she did ramble. And he swore he'd heard four-eyes talk about her Titan experiments about ten times more than he needed to.
"My mom told me it was fireworks."
"Hmm?"
She hadn't given a subject.
"The cannon fire. When they tested them."
Levi looked at her, but didn't say anything, waited for her to continue. When she didn't, Levi took over for her, started talking about the underground. The limited amount of happy places down there, but he did talk about Isabel and Farlan. Along with his other friends; followers, maybe. Not really, though they'd not assigned real leadership to him, in the sense of words. Thought he...couldn't really shoulder that if faced with it.
He steered clear of that, talked about their complicated method of stealing food from the vendors in the Capital, made sure to poke at her and Nule's regulations with a pointed sentence. She tipped her chin up in away, not meeting his eyes. Levi continued, how one time Farlan had strung 10 apples through a wire, and wore that, along with a sausage chain, as they escaped.
"Inspiring."
"A real innovator," Levi said.
She shook her head, and he moved just enough to kiss her, bracing himself for an instant over her, before he flopped to the other side, rested his head back on her chest with a soft sigh. Fuck, she was a distraction. A nice way to delude himself that the world was peaceful, and if that sentiment never changed, he'd happily remain distracted. With the pretty girl with soft hands and a smile that made him happy to hardly move. Happy he had someone for when the world ended
"I never heard you talk so much about the underground," she said.
"Not much to talk about," he muttered.
"Liar," she chided, finger curling in his hair, in that ridiculously calming way only she could.
"Well. Not much has changed. Since, you know. 844."
"Lie there, as well."
"What?"
"You frown more."
Levi gave a snort, shook his head, "Oiya, Zoe; I do not."
"And you don't say oi as much as you did, so."
"Committed that all to memory, have you?"
"Haven't you?" she hesitated, then continued with that tiny stammer, "I mean, you know, in respects to me."
He agreed with that, let a good stretch of silence stretch between them. Then he talked about the underground, even covered commonplace knowledge; how it'd been built as something meant for upper middle class families and above. How the place had fallen to people like him, maybe. How the military police didn't go down there anymore. How dark things flourished.
They'd deserted them there, the authorities, fuck lack of order, they'd deserted them, all of them down there, refugees like a wall had been broken in. Everyone was in opposition, and there wasn't any room to think otherwise. Easier to find some kind of weapon down there than food, and proper clothing. People went to sleep, didn't wake back up; no one cared, really. Levi told her about the first time he'd seen Isabel, pulled her head up out of the filth, squinted at the little girl who'd managed to sneak a pocket watch from an official, down there for some fishy business.
Zoe gave a laugh when he told her he'd been thrown up on, to which Levi twisted, set himself over her again, and kissed her quiet. She hummed as he eased back, turned on her side to face him, snuggled to the open circle of his arms, resting her head on the same pillow he had his on. Levi reached, flicking her nose, and she wrinkled it an instant after he moved away.
"moron," she mumbled.
"Sometimes."
Her hand settled in his hair, tugged softly, then dropped away. "You miss them?" she asked that, though she knew the answer. But it was the concern behind it that made him appreciate the question.
"Yea. A hell of a lot."
"When?"
He clenched his teeth tight, sat up just to avoid her eyes. But he told her what he could see through the rain, how it had all seemed a bit hazy when he came to. How he didn't remember killing the swath of Titans that'd sprung up on the squad. He'd been after Erwin; kill him, and take the papers. After that he and his friends were going to live in the capital. Where Isabel wouldn't come home with half her hair hacked off, and cry into a pillow. Even if he made those shitpigs regret it, the damage couldn't be erased.
The first expedition, too. Wasn't it his fucking luck? She set her forehead against his back, fingers touching over the scars she could find, arms wrapping loose around his waist. It didn't help, just reminded him that she was going to go on an expedition with him. Levi's teeth audibly grated together, and he stared straight down at the sheets, wondered how he could get her to not come with him.
But she was so fucking stubborn. His heart was going to go out, fuck the Titans, Zoe would have him before that. Fear threatened to overwhelm him, and though she wasn't asking him what it was, he'd never be able to tell her. Didn't want her to experience it, actually. What if she couldn't shoulder it like he could? Since she couldn't, he was going to make sure she wasn't coming with them. Fuck all that.
He wasn't going to lose her, was going to make his decisions based on his experiences. Still, even if he did that, sometimes it didn't turn out correctly, go according to plan. Levi turned to her, solidifying his new objective when she smiled. Though he was being selfish. Unfair to her.
A knock came at the door, and Levi glared at it, recalling that he'd told numerous squad leaders, as well as his own subordinates to not bother him, or allow them to. The heavy handed knocker banged his hand against the door. Started up a rhythm, and Levi narrowed his eyes towards the door, trying to fathom who had the guts to be that annoying, and to do that annoying thing near him. Zoe sighed heavily, eyes flickering to the night sky, obviously assuming this little break of peace was going to end. Or had ended.
Zoe said, "Nathan."
The knocking stopped, large chuckle making it through. "Commander, I gotta talk to you, yea?"
"Why are you asking me at an hour like this?" She put her hand in her hair, or at least on the side the had a larger amount.
Levi leaned in, set his forehead to her shoulder blade this time instead, hand smoothing slow down her back. She turned, moved with him as he tugged her close, barely muffling her laugh as his hair brushed over her shoulder, always ticklish there, oddly. He really preferred her without the robe she'd started to pull on, her underwear fairly easy to maneuver out of the way.
She tipped, allowed him to kiss her, and he wondered what it was about her that made these kisses sweet, as much as the feeling behind it. Though, he'd lived long enough to know that the things that were sweet like her, also managed to be something that hurt. Like a cavity, maybe.
"I mean, mostly because," Nathan was saying, "we're supposed to be directing that set up. Yea?"
"Fuck," she said, accidentally elbowing him, but she was hopping into her uniform pants, an apology not forthcoming. "Fuck, is it- how much time?"
"We've got a day, yea? But you're going to have to draw up the requirements."
She spoke a bit more loudly, head angled down to focus on her boots, "We're doing it behind Sina again, right?"
"Yea, yea, so it's easier commute from the capital."
"And security reasons, Nathan. We need the gate checks up as soon as we open it to the attendees from Rose."
Zoe only managed an anxious, almost sorry look over her shoulder, jacket barely over her shoulders before she let the door slam behind her. Levi breathed out, shifted himself to the near by chair, felt it was all too lonely in that bed without her. He let his arm dangle over the back of the chair, annoyed with the knowledge he'd have to go up to Wall Sina, find Erwin, and make sure Zoe didn't go with him.
So. Should be fun.
It just got warm out, this the shit I've been warned 'bout. I hope that it storm in the morning, I hope that it's pourin' out. (...)I hate the sound of fireworks. And I ponder what's worse between knowing it's over and dying first.