A/N Nothing much to say except you guys are awesome and I'm finally feeling better! Be back next week with another chapter.
PS I finally responded to all the great feedback you all have left me. If I missed anyone it was an oversight and not intentional.
Chapter 20
Sean was momentarily paralyzed.
He never imagined for one second that he'd walk in on a Spencer in such a compromising position. He'd let himself into Carlin home plenty of times with the key that she'd given him. This particular scenario had never played out before because Spencer almost never brought girls home with her. That was a line she didn't like to cross, which Sean knew.
His inability to move now was mostly due to the fact that he was seeing more of Spencer than he ever thought he would. It was all too much for him to take in. It was only when Spencer started to move that Sean got a good look at who was beneath the blonde.
"Holy shit!" Spencer exclaimed when the shock of being caught with Ashley wore off and she was capable of reacting.
Spencer went to cover up but in her haste to take action, she twisted her body awkwardly over Ashley., which resulted in her falling on top of the brunette and tweaking her back.
"I'll, uh, just be going," Sean said. He had so many questions that needed answers, but now was clearly not the best time to get them. "Uh, yeah, so later." With that, he turned around and headed back down the stairs he had just climbed.
"Shit," Spencer repeated as she tried to untangle herself from Ashley. She looked at the brunette and found the other girl in just as much shock as she was. Her back pain was momentarily forgotten."Did I hurt you? Are you OK?"
Ashley didn't know how to respond to that question. She wasn't OK, but not for the reason that Spencer would have imagined. As much as she was horrified about Sean walking in on them, and for what that meant for the blonde, she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Spencer was topless. Ashley knew that Spencer had to deal with the fallout of what Sean had seen, but all she wanted to do was continue what they had been doing before they got interrupted. She wondered if that made her a bad person. Eventually Ashley nodded a response so Spencer wouldn't worry about her.
"Shit," Spencer said for a third time. This was not at all how she wanted Sean to find out about her and Ashley. Once she knew that Ashley was fine, she went in search of her bra and shirt and reluctantly put them back on. She kissed Ashley on the forehead and told the brunette she'd be right back. Spencer was sure that Sean hadn't actually left, even with him open and closing the front door minutes before.
She took a few deep breaths before following Sean, but that did nothing to slow Spencer's rapidly beating heart down. When she stepped outside, she saw Sean leaning against his car. He was wearing an expression on his face that Spencer couldn't read.
"Well, well, well, that was an unexpected surprise," Sean said once Spencer was standing in front of him. The blonde was looking down and avoiding eye contact. "Can't say I thought I'd get quite the eyeful when I stopped by to see you."
Spencer she could feel her face burning. The words to explain her actions and deceit over the last week were not coming to her.
"I tried to reach you for the last couple of hours," Sean continued, his voice devoid of any anger. "And of course that meant I started to worry that something might be wrong." He laughed, and Spencer couldn't tell if he was really upset. "I guess I read that situation very badly, didn't I?"
"I, uh…"
"Here I was all concerned about you, but you were having quite a fine afternoon, weren't you?"
Sean's question was clearly rhetorical but Spencer still tried to respond. "I, uh…"
"Here's the thing, Spence, you already said that. I think you owe me an explanation."
It was at that point that Spencer could hear the hurt in her friend's voice. Forgetting all about how uncomfortable and embarrassed she was, she finally looked up. Seeing disappointment in Sean's eyes made her feel even worse than she did already. "I'm really sorry."
"Are you sorry because I caught you?" Sean questioned, "Or are you sorry that you've been lying to me for weeks?"
"What? No! I haven't!" Spencer insisted.
"All this time you've been complaining about having to work with Ashley and you've been what? Nailing her?" Sean hadn't realized he was angry until then. He was the one person that Spencer was supposed to be close to. Knowing that she'd been less than honest was hurtful. "You know I support you, Spence, all I ask is that you don't lie-"
"I wasn't lying!" Spencer interjected. She had to clear things up quickly. Not to save her from Sean's scorn but because she owed her friend the truth. She really should have told him from the beginning what was going on, but she couldn't change the past. Spencer ran her fingers through her hair before continuing. "I wasn't lying then, Sean, honest." Spencer ignored the way that Sean scoffed at her use of the word honest. "Being paired with Ashley was awful. I hated it and-"
"You have a funny way of showing hate," Sean cut in.
Spencer sighed. "It's not like that. We're not, I'm not…" She really did suck at expressing herself a lot of the time. "Those first few weeks with Ashley were not fun. All we did was fight." She paused to let out a snort of laughter. "Actually, it was more like I was really mean to her and she didn't fight back."
Sean was miffed at Spencer, but he was happy to finally be hearing from her what had really been going on with her. She was being awkward and unsure and that it convinced Sean she was telling the truth. It was quite a departure from her snarky and overly confident attitude.
"You remember last Saturday you dropped me off at her house?" When Sean nodded, Spencer kept going. "Well we had this huge screaming fight, finally, and then she kissed me and…"
"And?" Sean inquired when Spencer hesitated.
"And, I don't know, it was amazing." Spencer smiled at the memory. It was without a doubt the best first kiss she'd ever experienced. "It was also confusing and I hated the fact that I enjoyed it so much. I didn't know what to make of that kiss or how I felt, so I kept what happened to myself. I think at first I was ashamed at myself for liking kissing Ashley as much as I did. As much as I do, actually." She went on to explain - minus the salacious details- about the last week. It felt really good to be talking to Sean about what she'd been going through. It made Spencer wish that she hadn't waited so long to get everything off her chest.
Sean was rubbing his chin, trying to process what he'd just heard. "Let me see if I'm understanding you. You went from hating Ashley to sleeping with her all in the span of a week?"
"What are you...That's not…We're not… We're not sleeping together!" Spencer sputtered out. How had Sean drawn that conclusion? "We're not at all, that's not what this is about, OK, I mean-"
"Oh my god!" Sean exclaimed as a realization hit him hard. "You like her, don't you?" Suddenly Spencer's mysterious anger towards Ashley and how much she couldn't stand her made sense. So did the way she'd been acting all week. In the past the blonde had only been interested in hooking up with a girl and nothing more. The version of Spencer standing in front of him was someone completely different. "You do! I can't believe it!"
The blush that had faded from Spencer's cheeks came rushing back. "No I don't!" She lied badly. "Take that back!"
Sean covered his mouth as he laughed. "As I live and breathe, I never thought I'd see the day that Spencer Carlin was smitten over a girl."
"Stop saying that!" Spencer ordered.
"You should have just told me that, Spence," Sean said, still laughing. He put his arm around his friend and pulled her into him. "How can I be that mad when you lied to me because you're gaga over a girl! This is amazing."
Spencer shoulder checked her friend, even though she had absolutely no right to be mad at him. She couldn't believe that he having so much fun at her expense. "Stop teasing me!"
"Are you kidding me? I'm never going to let you live this down," Sean replied smugly. All the anger that he'd felt over Spencer lying to him had vanished. Getting to make fun of her was a much better way to get revenge. "Are you going to write Spencer plus Ashley with a heart on all your notebooks now?"
"Asshole," Spencer muttered under her breath. Even with the teasing, she was relieved that Sean didn't seem upset anymore. "You're so funny," she said sarcastically. "The thing is, we're not really about telling people right now so if you could keep this to yourself that would be great."
Sean continued laughing. "Who am I going to tell? And who would believe me anyway?" He was busy thinking of ways to tease Spencer that it wasn't until that moment that something crossed his mind. "Is this, I mean are you sure she's not going to hurt you, Spence?" Sean didn't know Ashley, but being friends with Madison automatically made him distrust her. Plus he knew that she had done something in the past to hurt the blonde. The protective side of Sean was suddenly skeptical of Ashley's motivations. "Because if she does-"
"I'm sure," Spencer assured Sean. Although she had some doubts, after today they were almost non existent. Ashley's words and actions this afternoon had gone a long way in getting Spencer to trust her more. "This isn't about anything other than us liking each other."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Spencer knew she'd made a big mistake.
"So you do like her!" Sean called out with an even bigger smirk on his face. "I knew it. Oh, I so knew it."
Spencer endured a few more minutes of teasing from her friend before Sean thankfully decided to leave. Not without promising to call the blonde the next day for "all the gossip," as he put it.
Well, it might not have been the best way to let Sean know about what was happening with Ashley, but Spencer was happy that she wasn't going to be lying to him anymore. It made her feel a whole lot better everything.
Ashley perked up when she heard Spencer open the door and walk back up the stairs. She had been sitting on the blonde's bed wondering what was happening. Ashley hoped that Spencer wasn't in too much trouble for keeping what was happening between them a secret. In the time that Spencer had left to go after Sean, Ashley had put her shirt back on. It felt weird just sitting in her bra waiting for the blonde to get back.
"Well that was awkward," Spencer said after she entered her bedroom. She flopped down next to Ashley on the bed and, when the two of them made eye contact, they both started laughing. "To put it mildly."
"Are things OK with you guys?" Ashley asked once Spencer had moved on to her stomach so she was looking at Ashley who was lying on her back.
"Yeah, we're fine," Spencer assured the other girl. "I mean, I could have lived without him seeing my breasts, but what are you going to do?"
"They're really nice breasts if that helps," Ashley blurted out. When she realized what she'd said she gasped. Ashley's faced turned bright red. She pulled out one of the pillows from behind her and covered her face with it.
There was a big part of Spencer that wanted to tease Ashley for her comment, but there was another part of her that didn't want to be a jackass. That being said, she was pretty happy that the brunette liked what she had seen. "That really does help, thanks."
"Shut up!" was Ashley's muffled response from under the pillow. She was mortified.
"Ash, it's OK to admit you like my breasts; they're pretty spectacular." Spencer couldn't help herself. And she couldn't stop herself from laughing. Ashley was just too adorable when she was embarrassed not to have some fun at her expense. "If this makes you feel better, I'm really looking forward to when I can see yours."
Ashley removed the pillow from her face and tried to appear stern. "If you're trying to get me to take my top off, you're really going about it the wrong way." And then she smacked the blonde right in the face with the pillow. "Ha!"
Instead of trying to fight back, Spencer used the opportunity to move over the brunette. "I'm sure I can think of a way to get your top off, if I really wanted to."
"Oh, uh," Ashley inhaled sharply. Things with Spencer had moved from playful to smoldering in a matter of seconds. The problem was, as exciting as the prospect of getting back to kissing Spencer was, the idea that the two of them might move further than they had already, was scary for Ashley. It wasn't that she didn't trust Spencer or anything like that, she just wasn't sure if she was ready. Ashley hated feeling this way because she thought she was being silly and made her seem immature. Spencer already had all of this experience and was more than likely was used to being with girls who didn't have the hang ups that she did. This bothered Ashley more than she would admit to anyone, least of all herself.
Luckily for Ashley, Spencer sensed the uncertainty in the other girl and was a lot more perceptive than the brunette realized. It helped that Spencer already knew this was a touchy subject for Ashley. Without hesitation and without feeling let down, Spencer sat back up and brought Ashley up with her. She gently placed her hand on top of Ashley in a move she hoped was reassuring. "You know, I was only teasing you, Ash. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
What Ashley didn't want to do was have to discuss this right now. She felt embarrassed and suddenly shy. The thing was, she'd already avoided telling Spencer how she felt and that had lead to her making a big mistake. "I know you were, and it's not that I don't want to…" It was so hard for Ashley to keep looking at Spencer. She wished she was looking anywhere but into the blue eyes of the girl that seemed to know her so well. "It's just, I love what we've been doing, but-"
"You want to slow down a little?" Spencer finished Ashley's sentence to help the brunette. Spencer knew a thing or two about not being able to communicate one's feelings well. Ashley nodded and Spencer was glad that she was right about what was going on in the other girl's head. "This isn't a race for me, Ash." Spencer needed Ashley to understand the point that she was making. "I'm not looking to get to the finish line with you, so to speak." They both smiled at the blonde's analogy. "I don't care about that." Ashley shot Spencer a look that said she didn't quite believe what Spencer was telling her. "OK, fine, I do care about that in some ways, but getting sex isn't why I'm with you."
"Why are you with me then?" Ashley asked. Spencer's actions told her that she knew the reason, but it was still something she wouldn't mind hearing directly from the blonde.
Before answering the question that she had every intention of answering, Spencer placed the softest of kisses on Ashley's mouth. "Because I'm crazy about you, too."
Ashley went from feeling horrible about wanting to slow things down, to feeling like she couldn't possibly get any happier. Shy smiles were exchanged between both girls as the weight of what Spencer admitted hung in the air.
It was terrifying for Spencer to be so open and vulnerable. But like Ashley, she wasn't going to repeat the mistakes from earlier that week. She wasn't going to run or try and push the brunette away. Well, she was going to try her best not to do that. This was new ground for Spencer and while that was intimidating, it was exhilarating as well. "Now, we have plenty of time for other activities," she waggled her eyebrows suggestively but it was done in a funny way that made Ashley laugh, "so, if you'd be so kind as to escort me downstairs, why don't we finish Harriet the Spy, and I'll do my best to make my hands behave themselves."
"That sounds like a great idea," Ashley replied with a big smile on her face. For a weekend that had started out so horribly, it was shaping up to be one of the best she'd had in years. When Spencer was almost out the door, Ashley spun the blonde around to give her a very powerful kiss. "Your hands don't have to behave themselves that much."
Spencer felt lightheaded from the kiss and it left her momentarily stunned. She appreciated that for Ashley to make that kind of comment it meant she trusted that Spencer wasn't going to push her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. That made her very happy.
It was a feeling Spencer wasn't used to feeling, but one she welcomed.
For a Monday, Ashley was in a surprisingly good mood. Not usually a morning person, she was grinning widely as she put stuff in her locker. She hadn't wanted to leave Spencer the night before to finally head home, thankfully though she was still feeling the affects of a great weekend.
What was there to be upset about when she'd spent almost two full days with Spencer? Outside of the incident with Sean, things between her and the blonde had gone really well. There had been more reminiscing about their past in a way that didn't bring out old feelings of hurt or betrayal. It felt like they were getting the chance to know each other again, but in other ways it felt to both of them like they hadn't even been apart.
Even the prospect of returning to school and having to deal with Madison couldn't bring down Ashley's mood. In a perfect world, she would be honest about what was going on with Spencer, consequences be damned, but Ashley wasn't ready yet. It's not that she wasn't sure about what she had with the blonde—those doubts were starting to fade away—she just wanted time to adjust and come to terms with what she'd been hiding from for so long. Much to Ashley's relief this wasn't something that Spencer had deemed important—at least not yet anyway.
If anything, Spencer was showing a lot of patience with Ashley. And that was something the brunette was grateful for. She knew she couldn't hide things with Spencer forever and that's not what she even wanted. What she did want was the chance to feel comfortable and come out about everything at her own pace.
Madison had been trying to reach her all weekend. It was satisfying to Ashley that she didn't care about staying in Madison's good graces. She might not be ready to stand up to her, but that didn't mean she was going to keep bending over backwards so they'd still be friends. Eventually Ashley had brushed Madison off because her incessant texting was distracting her from enjoying her time with Spencer. She was sure she was in for a verbal smack down from Madison, but Ashley wasn't worried. She was going to see Spencer again soon and the two of them had plans again for later that night.
When Ashley closed her locker, she was greeted with the sight of a smiling Sean staring right at her. She was so caught of guard that she jumped and let out a little yelp.
"Sorry for scaring you," Sean said still smiling. "I was hoping you could spare a few minutes of your time before school starts?"
Ashley had no idea what Sean could possibly want from her. Wondering what was on his mind kept Ashley from getting embarrassed by the fact that he had seen her without a shirt on less than forty-eight hours before. "Uh, sure, no problem."
"Great." Sean led Ashley towards a classroom that wasn't being used. Once they were alone, he shut the door. "This won't take long."
Ashley leaned against a nearby desk and waited for Sean to explain what he wanted. She couldn't remember if they had ever even spoken before.
"Obviously I know what's going on with you and Spencer. I mean, she didn't give me details or anything like that." Sean felt the need to explain that part because he had no desire to cause any issues between his friend and Ashley.
"OK," Ashley said still clueless about what Sean could possibly have to say to her.
"Here's the thing, Ashley, I don't really know you at all, but I know Spencer. She's like a sister to me and that means I'm really protective of her. So what I want to say to you is that if for any reason you do something to hurt her or if this is any kind of ploy by Madison to play Spencer for a fool, I-"
"This has nothing to do with Madison," Ashley cut in forcefully. She wasn't offended by what Sean thought of her. Maybe she should have been, but she could understand his skepticism. After all, she'd been around plenty of times when Madison had said awful things to Spencer. Something she was still ashamed of. "I really like her, Sean. That's all this is about."
Sean studied Ashley and it was his opinion that she was being sincere. "That's good to hear because if anything happens to her, you and me are going to have a problem." He wasn't attempting to come across as threatening; he was only telling the truth. No matter what, he had Spencer's back. "She deserves to be happy and if she's happy with you, I'm all for it."
"We're not going to have a problem," Ashley promised, looking Sean right in the eye.
"That's all I wanted to hear," he replied, satisfied with the response that Ashley had given him.
Sean left the classroom, leaving Ashley alone inside. What an odd start to the day, she thought to herself. When she soon followed Sean out the door, she was too distracted by reliving her weekend with Spencer to realize that her early morning conversation hadn't gone unnoticed.
Madison watched an oblivious Ashley walk away from where she had been standing. When the brunette was out of site, she slammed her locker shut. Something was going on with Ashley, and she was going to do whatever she could to find out exactly what her friend was hiding from her.