Who would have thought this, we almost lost it. When you lie inside darkness it's hard to see... And we sleep in tradition. Keep them off in the distance. To tell you that I haven't been(...) We are all; Night's fallen. Why try at all? Dark callin'... So we're left alone. No one left to call upon; be still now, broken bones. As I travel on just hold me close my darling
He walked to her, footsteps slow, the deluge outside hardly granting him a better mood. She glanced from her position at the table, smiled, the lamp light in front of her just enough to span the entirety of the stables. Levi picked up his pace, elbowed her over on the bench, tipped in close enough, making sure she was situated awkwardly against the corner, squished her there when she wiggled, waited for a kiss, hummed when he got one. Shifting his hand, he let it smooth down her side, always happy with her casual clothes, as they were much, much easier to get his hand under.
She pushed him back, and briefly confused him as to what she was doing, eventually just spreading his arms out to let her tuck herself into a favorable position. When she found it, Zoe settled in, and he swore she purred, propping up her book again, settling her apple to a proper location. If he tried anything, she glared, giving him the 'one more chapter' finger, which usually only popped at night before bed. He tucked her closer, let the steady breathing lull him, just as well as her heartbeat, fell asleep for a beat. Eventually, she moved, and he opened his eyes, tracking her across the barn, wondering why she was hauling her grooming material towards him.
Zoe caught his look, gave him a tiny smile as she said, "I have to brush her out."
"Her?"
"My horse."
"What you didn't name her?"
"What?" she looked up, tipped her head to the side. "Name her?"
"Yes, Zoe. Like, Ness with Chatel."
"Well, I mean." She hesitated, tucked her hair over her ear. "My dad wasn't into naming animals. I mean, maybe one or two of the young breeding cows, but he never encouraged us to name things, told us that they'd be slaughtered soon, and made us watch if he did."
Levi's eyebrows twisted up, giving her some form of what Farlan had sparingly called a bitchy look. She dropped his gaze, nudged the pretty gray horse awake, eased the mare over in the stall, and dipped, patting at a leg, catching it when finally getting the hoof up. Zoe tapped once at the hunk of dirt, dislodging to provide easier access to the piece of metal in her hand, popping the mess from horseshoe and surrounding area.
She did this to every hoof, the mare standing patiently, as if she knew Zoe would bring around oats; which she did presently. Her horse made a noise that rumbled through its body, stepping up happily, remaining unmoving, mouth shoved into the oats. Levi moved into the stall, got an ear twitch and a suspicious side glare from Zoe's horse, and the mare went as far as moving its bum away from him, the rest of the body following soon.
Zoe peered over at him, then shifted her way around her horse, standing next to him, handing him a brush as she said, "if you're going to annoy her, you may as well brush her."
"How about you name her?" Levi asked, taking the front half of her horse as soon as Zoe had brushed out the mane, moving to the tail.
"I'm not sure," she said, shrugged, circular brush movements practiced. "I don't want to get attached to her. She might get trampled. Even if the Titans ignore her, you know it happens."
"It's not bad to care for things, Zoe."
"Says Levi, humanity's greatest soldier, who hardly has any facial expressions besides the default of zero, and seems to have no sentiments for anyone."
"You know that's not true."
"Well, I do try to stick to a larger amount of detachment," Zoe looked to him, words halting as she continued, "but, I-I do believe that, to a good extent, you've turned that around. I mean, your people, Levi. Squad. Ironically, Squad Levi. And you."
"Yea?" He leaned in, quick enough to get a kiss before he said, "it is funny that I've made you more social."
"Isn't it."
"Now, a name."
"For who?"
"The horse, Zoe."
"Oh, sorry, thought you meant something of a nickname."
He shook his head, watched her switch brushes, finish this side of her horse, and patted the mare on the rump to get a shift, easing to the other side. Levi did to, though he received a less than happy look as he prolonged the horse's distance from her food.
"So what is it?"
She shrugged, hand bare as she pet her horse, the mare giving a low nicker, tail flicking. "I'm not sure, but; Lonny." she looked at him, bit her bottom lip, "I think; that's a cute name, right?"
"There's no need for it to be cute, Zoe."
"Well it is. And I think it sounds good."
He nodded, let his hand brush briefly against hers. Quiet fell between the three of them, though he wasn't sure if Lonny would've done anything, as the horse had her muzzle buried, only heavy huffs breaking the air. Zoe brought a horse blanket, and he moved to help her without a word, belting the straps where they went on any standard blanket. Though, as his hand brushed over the cover, he did acknowledge the fact that it was ridiculously soft.
"That horse has a better blanket than me," he muttered, and she laughed, elbowing him out of the stall, drawing the rope across.
He collected the lantern, opened the door to the now dark stables, let her out. Levi caught sight of his squad, standing around, sharing an almost ceremonial silence. No one knew what was going to happen tomorrow. It always managed to vary. Always hurt.
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.
Levi shifted, beckoning her to him, listening to the brief sounds of fighting behind the wall. Zoe left her horse, heralding some of the surprised looks on the villagers faces, mirrored by the Scout Regiment Troops, everyone milling about, but her path to him was at least clear. Surprise due to the fact that a Military Police was moving near a gate, and with some purpose besides drinking, or taking advantage of some town person. But hey.
Levi gazed at her, chin tipped down slightly, eyes jumping from place to place on her face. He swung something over her shoulders, and Zoe twitched, knowing what it was, opening her mouth to protest, but he spoke before her, "You're so short, Commander Roth."
She blinked, raising her eyebrows, let him fasten the cape. "Really, Captain Levi? You're going to try that?"
"Don't be useless. Don't try and be a hero, anything that you seem to desire to do when in danger."
"Well, all I hear is you trying to hold me down, and I'm also fairly sure that I still outrank you."
He gave a choked off noise, glaring away from her. "Are you going to bring that up again?"
"I might, and quite frankly, I have to get back to my horse, I do thank you for the honorary cape."
"And in the Scout Regiment, Zoe, you're my subordinate."
"Am I, now?"
"Yes."
Levi's emotionless face shifted for a second and he ducked his head, cupping her face in both of his hands, hers going to his elbows. Kissing her with surprising force, barely moving his lips, just keeping her there, body close to his. Then he pulled away, pointing her back in the direction of her horse. She gave an annoyed scoff, smile tugging at her lips, almost sashaying her way back to her horse.
A troop was staring at her, then to Levi, then back to her again, keeping up this rhythm until shouts rang out. Zoe knew what the cape had really provided; anonymity. She looked like another troop member, small enough at the moment to match sizes with Eren, and if what Erwin thought was true, that there were other Titan's like him, say, the ones that had caused Wall Maria's collapse. Then they would give chase.
Erwin's voice rang out as the gate stopped, exceedingly close to her, with her place next to Hanji, the woman unsmiling. His horse sprang forward with his words, and she dug her heels into her own mare's flanks, the horse's hooves making the ground shake.
They passed through a village, dilapidated with all that had transpired, the path they rode along free of debris. Zoe glanced up saw a 10 meter trundling towards them, heard Hanji's excited voice, wondering what was inside of him. She almost rolled her eyes, the support squad already moving to meet it, and she focused back on the road ahead.
Erwin sent the scouts ahead with a shout, and Zoe shifted herself in her saddle, catching a red flare going up. Considered posting, the saddle under her considerable nicer, and generally better, though if she did, Levi may sense she was doing something pretentious and roll his eyes. He was good at that, she knew. Fucker.
The Commander watched the relay, then sent up his green flare, and they shifted course slightly. She caught sight of a black flare, and clenched her teeth, breathing out, then in, steeling her nerves. After seven or so years, she still felt that fear, but, with recent activity, she'd been able to find a way to ignore it. Pixis had mocked it in Trost District, alluding it to Levi's ability to always host something like that, but she got the job done without any nerves.
Quite frankly, she'd found the cold and detached place because of her need to speak at meetings with the head of the Merchant Association and those infuriating chauvinists. The walls were gods, her ass. Still, their membership had grown since the break in Wall Maria, and being cold and detached was a great way to deal with those people. She did hold to the idea that her arguments had helped them progress to the mounting of cannons on the wall, but she really doubted that.
Erwin glanced back at her, nodded once, and she turned slightly, jamming her flare gun with a green canister. She raised her arm, and pulled the trigger, setting the trigger piece back in place, Erwin left to converse with the rider who'd come up, shifting their direction in an instant, easing them towards the Forest of Giant Trees. There'd been a few training exercises there, and she knew it's tactical advantage, even if she barely heard what the man was shouting, hooves drowning out most of his words.
She did hear the folly that the right flank had under gone and her stomach clenched, the man to Erwin's other side breaking off to tell others. The other male shifted himself into formation, slowing down just a tad as the other man raced away, pelting over the ground. He looked a bit shell shocked, and Zoe concentrated on the stretch ahead of her, wondering where Levi was.
She stuck with Erwin as they progressed through the trees, orders to only let certain troops through relayed back. Zoe tossed her hair from her face, speeding up as Erwin did, cruising into land, surprisingly greeted by Hanji, and a couple elite troops. The transport carts were slowed a ways away, and shifted properly to the side, along with the loads. Everything was moving quickly then, and she helped, even though Hanji was below her rank, and Zoe didn't need much direction. The whole thing was whipped together in an instant, everyone's moves precise, practiced.
A black flare punched into the air, and she stuck her handles to blades, preparing to go back herself, but Erwin shook his head, thuds audible from here. The rear troops would handle it, she supposed, if they could. Zoe gazed down at the ground, as the troops made sure everything was in place, swallowing thickly, thinking about the lives lost, wanting desperately to do something. An acoustic round fired, and she moved, resolved to do something.
"Erwin, I'm going to buy time."
He gazed at her, then nodded, "if you must." She knew he wouldn't stop her.
There was a great plus side to being small, she recalled, a silver wire roping up to a high branch, dragging her up as she sprang, coming to rest on a branch. She let her fingers drum down on the handles, gripped tighter before jumping, and jetting forward, graceful movements making her smile, moving speedily from tree to tree. Remembered the time when her brother had found out about her desire to join the troops, he'd argued for her case with her mother and father, and Zoe was somewhat sure she was the reason for their heart attacks, but never mind. Her brother was the only one on her side back then, fraternal twins with striking differences.
And here she was now. Moves maybe a bit too polished for someone who was mocked by the other divisions in the military for playing cards more than necessary. The card joke implied that she stayed inside, but that wasn't correct at all. She was caught up in whatever the central government and Central Military Police were doing. At least she was in her element here, trees much more familiar, rather than the terrain she'd been stuck with during the Trost district debacle.
She twisted, jolting her way out of the protection of foliage, resting lightly on a high up branch, breathing slow. The female abruptly sped up and she dove, flashing in front of it once, breaking it's stride just for an instant. It moved, hand slapping back as if to brush off a fly, and she changed direction, drawing it's eyes for another instant. They narrowed, and the female put her weight to the side, attempting to squash her against a tree, but Zoe shifted again, feet landing once against the ground, whirling up, blade criss-crossing along her back, and the female covered her soft spot.
Her blades shattered against a frost like covering, but she pulled new ones out in an instant, crossing next over the variant's stomach, and it stumbled as she managed something of a cut in a tendon, zipping back up, rising up above the trees. Saw the blood on the leaves, the forest floor. The horse's body was intact, compared to the humans, and Zoe took a beat to really scrutinize the forest floor.
Monster.
Zoe clenched her teeth, and dove down, shifting to the side as the female attempted to kick up, but the shift was enough for her to miff her attack on the female's achilles tendon. Distracted with this loss, she didn't pay enough attention to the enemy. The variant's eyes narrowed, tipped enough to better attack her. Zoe felt like a moth; in the sense that the Titan had been scared by such a weak insect, rather than a bee of some sort, and was now going to kill her, if only to correct the ideal of being scared by a moth of all things.
A hand raised, poised, and flicked her away. Again, the female bore down, and Zoe was spun back, world moving too fast for her to tether herself. If she fell at this speed, she was going to die.
Taking a chance, she pressed the trigger a thin silver line wrapping around her leg before it shot down. Her leg was jerked, and she yelped, the wire saving her, dangling from a high up branch, swinging there, annoyed with her loss, knew she could've done damage if she'd focused. Ignoring the pain in her leg, Zoe twisted and hacked the wire off, cushioning her landing with a liberal use of the air in her tank.
Her leg gave as she attempted to stand, but Zoe hauled herself to her feet, and walked the remaining ways, embracing the sight of the female titan, strung with wires. She sighed, replacing her 3D movement gear, heralding the bloom of blood where her bandages were, sighing again softly, getting herself up the the branch where Levi and Erwin resided. Just; the number of times she was sighing was ridiculous.
Levi's eyes dragged over her, and he looked away, scowl deepening. Zoe rested against the tree, running a hand through her hair, incredibly tired, the muscles in the leg that had been caught screaming out when she moved it.
"I hope she's not wetting herself in fear," Levi murmured, voice lacking emotion, almost monotone.
"We are suggesting that this variant is human, similar to Eren? And in that assumption, how could a human...kill like that?" Zoe managed to keep her voice from cracking as trembles cut through it, and her.
"One who's working for a third party, I believe," Erwin murmured, eyes cutting to her, separated by Levi's body.
Levi had his eyes on the Titan, and Zoe stood straighter, blades out to either side of her, knowing she'd pulled something in her leg, but she could get through it. She sucked her teeth briefly, turning to looked down at the soldiers on the ground. What she'd meant was, how could a human kill like that, with so much...blaise, thinking how much she person inside the titan had to despise them, or was it for some other force? So maybe the third party was a better excuse, but she couldn't imagine using that power outside of assisting their defeat of Titans.
Erwin paused Levi as the man prepared to move, murmuring, "We can't be too careful," Erwin raised a hand, shouted, "Fire the second wave! Back ups as well."
Levi's brow darkened, hand clenching tight around her blades. Lines were being blurred here, and at the moment, she wasn't entirely sure who the enemy was, but she had inklings. Right now, she was going to focus on a definite, ignoring the pain radiating from both of her legs, knowing how Sjeh would have a million things to say.
They'd given up a large amount of people, and she'd seen the blood on the leaves, knew how precious lives were. She'd put her own in danger to achieve a few more seconds. And this monster here; maybe, for a tiny part, Zoe thought to admire the person briefly for their ability to put aside humanity. But Zoe could do that as well, just with a little less bravado. As well as damage lacking.
Levi and Mike sprung after Hanji loosed her last round, and Zoe expected to see a break, but the two men were sent back, blades broken, a crystal sheen over the monster's hands, crumbling away. Mike set himself back in place on a branch away from them, Levi landing close as well. Zoe almost growled, looking to Erwin for direction, knowing his strategic ingenuity stretched above her own, and his continual practice afforded some more skill.
Erwin raised a hand, and a soldier zipped to his side.
"Sir?"
"Prepare the explosive," Erwin commanded. "blow its hands off."
"Yes Sir," the man responded, nervous, "but, the force of the standard issue explosive could blow up what's inside."
"then set it so it severs the wrist," Erwin said, stepping close to rest his free hand on his soldier's shoulder. "On my signal, set them off all at once."
The soldier muttered an affirmative, making his way back down to relay orders. Levi was resting on top of the Female Titan's blonde head, and Zoe shifted, watching his lips move, eyes hooded, looking extremely threatening, despite his being absolutely dwarfed. He shifted slightly, that sadistic glint she'd seen a couple times flashing in his eyes.
A shift occurred, and the female Titan seemed to draw in a breath. The scream that ripped from her lips made Zoe step back, gazing down, eyes wide, wondering just what Levi had said to inspire this, clapping her hands over her ears. Shudders racked her frame, maybe nerves, or the power of the scream. Broken and panicked.
The noise was similar to a couple of animals on her brother's old farm, mostly the sheep, if a rare wolf bothered them; attacked, to be specific. As well as the dogs who intervened, alerted her family to the danger. Her father would stomp out of the screen door, loaded the double-barrel gun, and took aim; always hit the offender dead on, and though sometimes it wasn't an instant kill, her father carried through.
Walked to the injured animal, pointed the barrel straight down, stepped on the beast to keep it still. Her mother did attempt to hide Zoe's eyes, but she'd still seen the calm reloading her father partook in, heard the wild snarl that bordered on a scream before the loud gun went off. Zoe's heart jumped, and she shivered, the silence echoing, same as it was when the resounding noise of her father's gun receded.
Levi dropped his hands from his ears, as Mike zipped up to their location, telling Erwin what he smelled. She wasn't entirely sure what that was about, but there was a reason these members of the Scout Regiment had survived as long as they had. Their skills were a bit out of box, or in Levi's case, ability to mow down Titans like the Grim Reaper.
"All directions!" Mike was saying, "All at once!"
Zoe stabbed her blades back into place, using a new set, action more from nerves, hardly listening, battened down the hatches. Metaphorically; considering her feelings, as the noise had rattled her, same as most people, though Levi was the only one who still kept his face level.
Mike was talking next to her, words threatening to blur together by the end of it, and Erwin was already moving turning to look at the female Titan, trying to speed up the explosive time. "The first wave is coming from the East," Mike said, and Erwin pointed away from them, three of his troops lifting into the air, moved to intercept them.
The Titans blazed past, something she'd never seen happen, besides the variants; and still, it wasn't common for a variant to blaze past 3 people like that, nor had she seen that many variants alongside each other. Maybe the wagon guard hadn't done as Erwin had commanded; but they'd been in the air, offered themselves on something of a plate. Then thought to another fact. Maybe- was- did the Titans ignore the men?
Zoe made the connection, guessing, though it was very hesitant, what ever the female Titan had done was pulling the others to her. To sacrifice herself? But then- She shook her head, looked to Levi stamping on the female's head before he turned to the three titans.
No. Couldn't be. That'd be ridiculous. But right now, it seemed to be the best option. She moved as a small Titan latched onto the female's ankle, using her right leg more than the recently injured one, ignored the strain put on her stitches.
She spun down, the hunk of flesh falling off with the small Titan. More came, and she bounced from Titan to Titan, her attacks precise. Her time outside the wall, while dangerous, was certainly giving to a large positive spike in her skill. But there were too many. Even with 20 men in the air, and her, Mike and Levi counting for another brigade or 4(Zoe was willing to give herself some credit; first in class, so, yes, she could hold a candle to Levi and Mike, especially with actual combat under her belt, though that knowledge was hardly public), they fell short. She'd never seen so many in one location, and one batted her away, sending her hard back against a tree, but she was on the next one as soon as her head stopped spinning.
Still, their numbers increased, and in the end, the troops stood back, all their efforts in vain. Zoe's leg gave, and she fell to a knee, feeling titan blood sizzle from her skin, replacing her dulled blades, drawing new ones, wondering if she should step forward, but the damage was already done. She let her other leg give, falling forward, using a proffered hand when she attempted to rise.
Someone else was hanging off the man, a bit trampled obviously, the Titan's efforts towards the female variant not sparing a few soldiers unlucky enough to get knocked to the ground. Everyone moved onto the path, coalescing slow around wagons. Zoe raised herself up on horseback, the pretty gray Appaloosa emulant horse a variant among the others, unable to move her leg.
She didn't show her panic, moving with Hanji's orders as the woman took over, Mike at her side, a silent helper. Hanji was one of the limited Squad leaders left, and Zoe wondered where Levi was, and in that respect, Eren. Erwin walked out of the forest, jaw clenching as he glanced over the bodies, men still bringing the salvageable ones out of the forest, walking back onto the main path with his calm facade back in place. The soldiers left took some strength from the Commander's present tranquility, and the execution of movements became much more clear cut.
Zoe's vision swam, and she almost dropped, Erwin moving, catching the reigns of her horse, snapping his fingers before directing her back, walking despite her leg. Someone who'd had more than basic med training was slapping bandages on wounds, and when they turned to her, their face lost color, fussy behavior reminding her of Sjeh.
"Why did you continue to fight on this?" the man grumbled, ripping her uniform. "This is ridiculous. Look at this!"
Zoe looked, then turned her head away, the stitches ripped out in some places. She shifted her left leg gingerly, allowed the man to bind her wounds quickly, just temporarily to last her back, her horse brought back around. When the formation was called up, she moved to her place beside Erwin.
She listened to the discussion between Hanji and him, heart sinking fast, wondering if she was ready to lose everything, put all her cards in the proposed lot presented by the Scout REgiment. She never had the kind of drive the men and women here had; to the phrase, wings of freedom, it was a nice thought, but, to an extent, she felt the phrase more flowery and ornamental. She compared it to her own reality, the harsh words given and received, how the man had screamed when she tore out a nail, as well as how her heart didn't even jolt, so far from the beginning. Though she didn't know the man's name, when she'd been told to track him down, and arrest him for treason, she didn't hesitate, nor did she employ softer tactics in any range.
A roar echoed, and she twitched, rooting herself to the moment by fisting her hands around the leather reigns. Wished she'd done more, wanted to turn and find the female, do damage that the Titans hadn't, knew that was how everyone felt; if the human inside the variant had survived the onslaught. Zoe could empathize with a number of people, even if she'd only been close to a few of them, and she tipped back for a moment, scanned for Squad Levi. And yet, she understood the loss, knew the feeling in more personal tones, but she...disregarded it, blinking as her world clarified. One day, she'd stop and cry for all of them, but for now, she had a duty, a Command, and in that case, she'd support Erwin. She'd care for them in that respect. What she gave up might be everything, but that didn't mean she had to ignore their importance.
"Erwin," she said, voice just loud enough to reach him.
"Yes?" He turned as best he could.
"Your failure is evident," she murmured, saw his eyebrow jump. "but the value of information gathered with this appearance; it's evident. And I will back you in anyway needed. And when I say failure, I mean the amount of tangible evidence. The amount gathered here in other terms; its use is viable. So, I suppose, I'll continue to support you."
"And not only because you're sleeping with the Captain, correct?" Hanji said, and Zoe glared. "Oh, you are scary, I never noticed."
Zoe looked away, thinking that she should've just been quiet, even though she was sure she'd chosen her words correctly.
"Zoe," Erwin reclaimed her attention, and she raised her eyes to his. "Thank you for your trust. I have to say, the disquiet that will surround our return may need help from one in your position, especially when the council decides to drag me in for questioning," his smile was forced and brief. "I'll place an ounce of my own trust for you."
She gave him a brief nod, the detail halting once as Levi and Mikasa returned, Eren in tow. He also carried bodies, and her heart clenched, catching sight of them before the wrap was placed around them, and Zoe didn't meet his eyes, stepping off her horse, using the stable body to support her before she stepped forward. Zoe walked down the row, her cape gone from her shoulders, torn off at some point; she didn't know when.
A hand stopped her movement, and she stood there, looking along the bodies, finding the same bite marks. She knew it was Petra in front of her, along with the rest, but it was Petra she focused on, recalling the conversation they'd had.
and the ones after that. Her knees gave out briefly, and she crouched, wishing she'd- These people, corpses now, had been something close to friends. Not a subordinate, really, because she didn't give orders around Levi. She'd have liked to know them better, even Auruo, who grated on her nerves, and Erd, who she'd kind of known, but never really talked to.
Levi came to rest on the other side of them, dipping and opening the cloth to reach the patch. She wanted to hold him, wanted to run and hide her face in his chest, but that was silly. Stupid. Zoe stood, not before letting her fingers brush against the wound on the girl's hand, a reminder about how brave these people were, how they didn't deserve to die.
She did. Was there any bravery left to her? Living; the sentiment hurt. Guilt clouded her mind, and Zoe thought that she didn't deserve anything, didn't want to be breathing while these people weren't. She clenched her hair in her hands, pulled as she trembled, shuddered slow. Breathed harder, but nothing caught.
Zoe walked stiffly away, swinging up on horseback as two new recruits, one with a head bandage on, lowered the other bodies onto the wagon. She breathed air tight through her teeth, still trying to refill her lungs, felt that the ones able to do so were lucky, certainly. Someone was shouting, pleading with Erwin to go back for a body.
"You guys argue like little kids," Levi said, hand on his hip, the little way he was holding himself just off enough for her to realize he was injured.
"Captain Levi!" one of them exclaimed.
"If you can confirm that he died, that should be sufficient. Whether you have his body or not, the fact is, he's dead," Levi said, "It changes nothing."
"but," one of them attempted, eyes flashing through the three, quantifying their ranks, and the fact that at least two of them were glaring.
"We will classify Ivan and the others as "missing in action," Erwin said. "It's settled. Let it go."
She turned her horse, allowing it to plod after him, urging it into a trot to pass him, lining herself up, ignoring the shouts behind her. Her horse kept pace beside the bodies, tremors reaching her as fast as the others. Three Titans thudded after the two men who'd been arguing to go back for their friend's body, the retrieval apparently successful with the limp body on one of their backs . One of the Titans had to be a variant, the way it held itself a bit off and broken, seeming to focus entirely on the mass of humans in front of it, unlike the other two who dropped back to swipe at the two men.
A shiver shuddered down her spine before she dropped back; she was always perturbed by some of the Titans who seemed to lack motor abilities. Maybe because it made them more monstrous. To her, she found them terrifying for another reason behind the physical. They were unable to be argued with, that's what it was; mindless killing machines with no conscious. Relentless, mindless, unstoppable. To an extent.
Zoe nodded once towards Mikasa as she moved back herself, allowing herself to line up with the larger one, ignoring the other as it ate one of the two men. Springing off her saddle a stab of blinding pain, Zoe put her refilled tank into good use, blades hacking through the nape of the neck, dropping down hard, rolling once before she sprung back into saddle, glancing to the giants already on the move along a nearby hill, knew the decision necessary. Still, as she heard Levi give the order, her heart dropped. Mikasa managed the next, her move much more refined, her legs obviously in better shape than Zoe's. The variant Titan was stamping along after the body cart, too tall, and fast for them to get close
With a glare, she checked that the surviving man was on his horse, and pushed her horse faster, watching the bodies fall. The Titans ignored them finally, but not before she caught a flash of Petra, Erd, Gunther, fisting her hands in the reigns, digging her heels in almost cruelly to the horse's sides. Lonny's sides. Where had Levi been?
They all halted to collect themselves, and she watched Levi stop by the man who'd caused the drop of bodies. Zoe would've cut him down where he stood, but her cruelty was not matched in that respect by Levi. His hate strung to the titans, and she watched the exchange, nodded, understanding his reasons, why he branched from the beating she'd have called up.
But she still would've disciplined him. Reckless, meaningless, endangering lives; there wasn't room for people who couldn't follow orders, and do it properly. A fitness, maybe, that allowed the veterans here to survive. Her eyes flicked to Eren, hoping the next time, that he could handle the female. Or she'd kill it herself; die trying. When she found it. Because it wasn't human anymore, she thought, as the gate rose, displaying humans of the correct persuasion.
Zoe rode along with them, head dropping low as she heard the murmurs of the people, glanced to the children, caught sight of curly brown hair that reminded her of her nephew. Her gut twisted, and she closed her eyes. Looked up and over to Levi's walking form, saw a man walking beside him, face happy, the name that had caught her ear cutting off the flow. Petra's father. He chatted on beside Levi as he walked, his horse's reins in his hand, tugging the dark horse along. Levi didn't look up, looking as if a storm cloud was following him along.
She stabbed her heels into her horses sides, as they cleared the village area, riding until her horse's lungs were audibly wheezing, the mare's head drooping as low as her own. The gates of wall Sina rose and she slipped from horse back, ignoring everyone, finding her bed, and curling up in it. Tears refused to come, and she stared ahead, eyes wide, mouth dropping low.
Wanted emotion of some type. Tears to flush out the image, but nothing. Nothing, and she hated herself. Knew she deserved it.
Zoe finally moved, and walked to the medic's building, sitting still as Sjeh tended to her wounds, staring forward. Her men came up to her, chuckling over the Scout REgiment's dip in supporters, and she grabbed the closest on, slapping him with as much force as she could muster. At least she felt the sting in her hand, though all she wanted was to hold on to something, make sure, to her knowledge, that it wasn't going to leave her.
"If I hear another word against them," she used harsh words, covered the insecurities as well as she usually did, "I will send you off to the Garrison Troops. Or arrest you for treason." She tilted her chin up, and off to the side, lip curling nastily, ignored the way her body trembled, leg shuddering with the tremors that precluded a panic attack. "Do I make myself clear?"
The troop she'd hit was on the ground, cheek a pink color. No answers came, so she raised her voice, biting out every word as she repeated her last phrase, standing up. A few stepped back, before they saluted, and she sat, holding up her hand to stop their departure. Every single one of them halted, no lazy stops, or sighs like before. And she was second in command now. So it was funny, right?
"Tell me what's happening." Give a fuck, or give them hell, wasn't that a saying? She couldn't choose, but she knew not to let them react. Zoe wouldn't figure it out now, sift through her mistakes, where she'd fucked up. Boiled it down to being friends with those people.
And now they were gone. Just gone. Gone. She wouldn't ever see them again. Know them as they grew through the years, the ups and downs. They'd never be able to experience that as well. Their livelihood, their voice was just; gone. Gone.
Petra wouldn't talk to Zoe about books anymore; Jay couldn't say hi to her anymore. Auruo couldn't swing his younger cousin around, have his relative shout at him to stop. Gunther couldn't snap off beat anymore, make tea that actually made Levi more than content. Erd couldn't see his wife anymore, worry about his income, and his wife in that matter; his family. And they didn't have their bodies, even. Nothing to really signify that they'd been there, and none of them hadn't been given a chance to make a mark more than statistics.
And it hurt more to know the personalities behind those statistics weren't there.
She listened to the reporting officer while Sjeh stitched her wounds again, barely hearing the, "there will be a scar here forever, you realize?". The wound wasn't deep, and she couldn't honestly feel anything, a hollow in her chest, and she wondered if Sjeh had something for that. Bed rest and warm packs were set around her other leg. Her mend took 3 days, and she was up, striding down the main path, hands on her back, stretching up.
Nile walked beside her, handed her a board, a piece of paper pinned to it, checking the path that Yeager would be coming down. Made sure everything was in place for a fast exodus, as well as running through the exit pattern with a couple of the more seasoned veteran civilians, the reason they'd been decommissioned usually in a limp, or a missing hand. Still, the older men and women were even more cut and dry than Erwin. Very genuine.
A common patrol was passing, and a tall boy glared at her and Nule, dark haired, with a large nose. Zoe cut her eyes over to him, eyes flickering fast over the new recruits. "I'm sorry, do you have something else to be looking at rather than the job at hand?"
"No ma'am," he said instantly, and a pretty female next to him tittered, eyes flicking over to him, then back on her.
"Good, then maybe you can review your niche in this plan. At some point that you decide to get in gear."
Zoe noticed her Commander looking at her, a slight grin at his mouth. She made a 'tch-ing' noise, and ruffled a hair through her newly cut hair, the action a default now, wished she hadn't done anything to make Nule happy. The group shuffled away, circled around the seniors, and both of their information needs were met. Or so she assumed. In any case, the people who'd die weren't important.
"I suppose all the other details are properly in place. Except to remind the citizens to remain inside while the detail passes." She flipped the page, happy to see a crossed out order . "I believe that's it."
Nule gave a sharp nod, collecting her clip-board, "Ah, Roth, I forgot to check; you are heading back to the outpost? Hurry along the Commander, as I believe that a week is about to pass."
"well, I suppose."
She didn't know if she could walk in the castle, empty halls echoing. Maybe she was over thinking it, adding more melodramatic than necessary. Her hands fisted, and she crossed her arms to hide the reaction.
So please remember me, finally, and all my uphill clawing. My dear, but if I make the Pearly Gates, I'll do my best to make a drawing of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl, an angel kissin' on a sinner, a monkey and a man, a marching band; All around the frightened trapeze swinger