A/N To all the people who've left me feedback that I can't respond to individually because you don't have a FF account, I want to make sure you know as well how much I appreciate your reviews. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll be back next week with another chapter.
Chapter 23
Ashley pulled up to Spencer's house. She didn't want to say goodbye to the blonde. Ashley was feeling protective of the other girl, especially with everything they had discussed at the beach.
After dinner they made out in the back seat of her car like Spencer had suggested, but that wasn't even the best part of the night. At one point they had taken a break and, while listening to the music Ashley had selected for them, they snuggled into each other as they watched the sun set and the stars come out. It was like they were in some kind of protective cocoon that the outside world couldn't touch. Whether that outside world included an alcoholic father, or an overbearing Madison, or anyone else for that matter.
Ashley was concerned about Spencer going home and what that would be like for her. She situated her body so she was facing her girlfriend. "Are you going to be OK tonight?"
"I think so," Spencer replied, appreciating how worried Ashley sounded. Her actions that night did a lot to prove to Spencer that the brunette really did have her best interests at heart. She started playing with Ashley's fingers, enjoying the feel of touching Ashley and being touched by her.
Ashley furrowed her brow. She wasn't convinced by Spencer's response. "If anything happens, or you need to talk, you're going to contact me, right?"
Spencer rolled her eyes in fake annoyance. "Yes, mom, I promise."
"Hey." Ashley took hold of the blonde's chin so the other girl couldn't look away. "I'm serious, Spence, I'm here for you."
"I know you are, and that means the world to me." Spencer decided that making jokes wasn't the best choice at present. "I will message you right away if something happens."
"OK, good."
Ashley had major reservations about leaving, but she had to leave at some point. She kissed Spencer a few times, and then a few more times after that, before she finally said goodnight.
Spencer watched Ashley drive away with a smile on her face. As shitty as things might be at home, it was nice to have something in her life that made her happy. But knowing that she couldn't stand outside forever, Spencer unlocked her front door and hoped with all her heart that she wouldn't walk into anything bad.
When she stepped inside her house she was relieved when all was quiet. That usually meant her dad was out. And for Spencer that meant she could get upstairs and to the safety of her room without any issues.
Unfortunately, she had made a wrong assumption. All was quiet not because her dad wasn't there, but because he had already drunk enough to the point of passing out. He was on the sofa, an empty bottle by his side. Like most nights, he was surrounded by family pictures.
Spencer had almost missed seeing him on her way to her room. When she caught sight of his body strewn across the coach, her stomach tightened. She hated seeing him like that. And she hated that she was the one who had to clean up after him.
She was tempted to leave him as his, but guilt for leaving that day and for guilt for not being the ideal daughter changed her mind. Even though she didn't want to, she went into the den, cleared her dad's dishes, threw the empty whisky bottle away and then went back to cover him with a blanket. This was a common occurrence in the Carlin household. It made Spencer long for the days when her parents actually took care of her, instead of the other way around. Or, in the case of her mother, forgot she existed all together.
Spencer looked down on at her dad with a mix of sympathy and anger. There were days where she understood that he was a man in pain. There were other days, like today, where she felt so let down to the point that she felt hatred towards the man that she had once idolized. It caused her insides to feel like they were being pulled in all different directions.
In that moment, what Spencer actually felt the most was pity. Arthur Carlin was a broken man and didn't seem capable of putting himself back together. Still feeling guilty and broken hearted, Spencer left her dad to sleep it off.
Her mood had significantly soured in the last few minutes so she sent Ashley a message explaining what she had found when she got home. It felt weird to be sharing that kind of information with the brunette. At the same time, it felt nice to have someone to share her burden with.
Spencer sat on her bed. She was sure she'd spend the next number of hours before she went to sleep wallowing in her bad mood and in how much life sucked.
Seconds later, Ashley responded to her message.
I'm sorry I can only imagine how hard that was.
Here's something to cheer you up.
Accompanying the message was a picture that Ashley had taken of herself blowing a kiss to the camera.
Spencer spent a few minutes staring at the picture. And, like Ashley had hoped, it did make her smile.
Then it was her turn to respond.
Love the pic! Thank you
Next time, can you send me one with you wearing a little less ;)
It didn't take long to hear back from Ashley and when Spencer saw that this time she'd sent a picture of herself giving the camera the middle finger, she burst out laughing.
When she finally fell asleep later that night, her bad mood was all but forgotten.
Ashley scanned the crowd of students coming out for lunch, but Spencer was nowhere to be seen. Sure she was just running late, the brunette sat down and waited for her to arrive.
This would be the first time they were having lunch by themselves and Ashley was excited. Sean had a film club meeting so he wasn't going to be there. She enjoyed Sean's company and getting to know him, but getting alone time with Spencer was always a huge plus.
It hadn't been the easiest week. Arthur's return had not been without its challenges. Spencer was affected by him, even if she tried her best not to show it. Ashley could always tell when something was bothering the blonde, so that helped. But navigating the times when she should or shouldn't push Spencer was not always fun. Spencer was doing her best to cope with everything and not lash out. There were bumps along the way, but for the most part the two girls had grown closer together.
Spencer had been spending a lot more time at Ashley's house or anywhere the two of them could be alone together. She wanted to be at her house as little as possible. The more Spencer pulled away, the harder Arthur tried to push his way into his daughter's life. The endless cycle of guilt and obligation was causing an even bigger rift between those two then was there already.
Along with all of that, Ashley was also dealing with the balancing act of holding on to her old life, while keeping her new life with Spencer a secret. Madison was being surprisingly OK with all the time that Ashley was spending with Spencer and Sean at lunch, not to mention her lack of availability after hours. Ashley didn't know what to make of this, but she wasn't really all that keen to push things at the moment. There was so much else going on and it was nice to have Spencer to herself without the prying eyes of everyone else around them.
Her decision to spend lunch with Spencer and Sean had caused some ripples through the gossip mill at King High, but nothing that she couldn't handle. She knew that sooner or later she'd have to start being open and honest about what was going on. But now wasn't the time for that.
"Teachers at this school are so stupid," Spencer announced when she plopped down next to her girlfriend. She was annoyed, even with the prospect of having Ashley all to herself at lunch. She'd been on edge ever since her dad had reemerged. Luckily, she had the brunette to serve as a very capable distraction. "Sorry I'm late."
"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're here now."
There was something in the way that Ashley spoke that caused alarm bells to go off in the blonde's head. "Uh oh, something's wrong. What is it?"
Ashley was surprised that Spencer had picked up on the fact that she did need to deliver some bad news. "First of all, I brought you a surprise."
Spencer watched as the brunette produced a cupcake from behind her back. "This can't be good if you're trying to soften the blow with baked goods."
"It's not that bad." Ashley handed the cupcake to Spencer. She would never get used to how touching Spencer caused an immediate and strong reaction in her body. She needed to experience that more. "OK, it's a little bad, but I only just found out about it."
"Out with it, Ash," Spencer said before taking a big bite of her cupcake. If she was about to receive bad news, that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy what Ashley had brought for her.
"My mom messaged me this morning and told me that not only can't I have anyone over tonight, but that I'm not welcome either," Ashley explained in one breath.
Spencer frowned. With her dad causing her such distress, she often forgot how awful Ashley's parents were. She reached over and placed her hand on the brunette's knee. "I'm so sorry."
"It's fine, really," Ashley assured the other girl. Her feelings weren't her primary concern right then. "Lucky for me, she's going to drop off some clothes later so I don't have to worry that. She even told me how considerate that was of her."
"Your mom is a cow," Spencer pointed out. She could not hold her tongue when it came to her opinion of Ashley's mother.
"As true as that may be, what are we going to do about tonight? I guess I could see if I can get a hotel room or something."
"Ashley Davies! What kind of woman do you think I am?" Spencer joked. As appealing as having Ashley alone in a hotel room was, she also didn't want Ashley to feel she had to spend all sorts of money on her. "Look, it's not ideal but we can spend the night at my place. My dad won't even notice you're there, if he's even home."
"Are you sure?" Ashley asked.
"I'm sure. Besides, sneaking you in might even be fun."
Ashley smiled, she was happy that her plans for that night were still in tact. "And you're, uh, still going to come to the, uh, game later?"
"Even though it goes against every thing I believe in, yes, I will be at the game," Spencer assured the brunette. When Ashley had asked her to come to watch her cheer, Spencer had scoffed. School events were not her thing. But when she realized that it was actually important to Ashley, she had relented quickly and agreed to attend. She had roped Sean into going with her so she, thankfully, wouldn't be alone. "Besides, I get to see you bouncing up and down in your cheerleading uniform. How could I not want to see that?"
Ashley rolled her eyes. "You know, with all the comments you make, some people might think you're only with me for my stunning good looks and hot body."
"Actually, it's your modesty that I find most attractive," Spencer teased, earning her a dirty look. "But speaking of your hot body, any chance you want to find a more private place to go so I can show you just how much I've missed you today?"
"Now that is the best offer I've had in a long time."
When the coast was clear, Spencer and Ashley took off, their unfinished food the last thing on either of their minds.
Ashley hissed as her bare back touched the cold tile of the bathroom wall. She didn't know how Spencer had ever found this little hideout of hers, but was she ever grateful that she had. Her shirt was somewhere on the floor and she had a hot blonde all over her.
This was so much better than how she normally spent her lunch hour.
When Spencer pulled back, Ashley let out a groan of disappointment. The alarm that they had set so they wouldn't be late for their next class had not gone off. Ashley couldn't figure out why Spencer had stopped.
Spencer's head was swimming in all things Ashley. The sight of the brunette in nothing but her skirt and black bra was a sight to behold. Throw in how tussled Ashley's hair was and how out of breath she was, and that made it all the better.
She placed her hands above Ashley while pressing her body against the brunette's. Spencer was also trying to catch her breath. "Do you trust me?"
"I do," Ashley replied immediately.
Spencer swallowed, she had something in mind and was hoping that was the answer that Ashley would give her. "I'm not going to do anything you're not ready for," Spencer pledged. "And if anything is too much, tell me because-"
"Just touch me, please, Spence!" Ashley pleaded. She loved that Spencer was so considerate of her feelings but she needed the blonde to continue what they had been doing.
Spencer kept her gaze locked on the brunette. She moved one of her hands down until it was just grazing Ashley's bare leg. She wanted to watch the reaction on her girlfriend's face when she pushed the intensity level of what they were doing.
Ashley's whole body jerked at the contact of Spencer against her thigh. Her fingertips were barely touching her skin, but it was setting the brunette on fire. Her first instinct was to close her eyes.
"Look at me," Spencer commanded gently. This was also new for her. She never knew that foreplay could be so rewarding. The blonde was usually all about getting to the destination, so to speak, but with Ashley, the build up was as excruciating as it was thrilling.
"Spence," Ashley moaned as the blonde's fingers moved higher up her leg. She didn't know how she was supposed to stay in the moment but she fought hard to keep her eyes open. The way that Spencer was looking at her was such a turn on. "Fuck!"
Spencer's fingers moved to the inside of Ashley's leg and she took such satisfaction in the way that the brunette shuddered at the contact. Everything with Ashley was electrifying. Especially when she got to witness how much the other girl was enjoying what she was doing.
The way Spencer was teasing her, was the most delicious kind of torture for Ashley. She wanted it to go on forever, but she also didn't know how much more she could take. Her legs felt like jelly. She was sure that at any moment they were going to give out completely. Spencer started to move her fingers even higher up Ashley's leg; the sensations were overwhelming.
"Oh God," Ashley moaned as Spencer started to make small circles on her skin. She gave no thought to getting caught or being overheard. Her brain was not capable of rational thought when the blonde was this close to her.
Spencer didn't want to stop, but she was going to. Her first time with Ashley was not going to be like this. Besides, she'd made a promise to Ashley and she didn't want to break that promise. As much as she wanted the brunette, she cared about her more than she cared about satisfying her libido. This wasn't just about sex or desire.
But she wasn't going to stop just yet.
She kept grazing Ashley's inner thigh while moving close to Ashley so she was right by the other girl's ear. Ashley's eyes shut almost immediately. "You are so hot." Spencer said, her voice hoarse.
Sensing that now was the time for a change of pace, Spencer removed her hand from under Ashley's skirt. Before the brunette had a chance to complain, Spencer placed her hand on Ashley's cheek. She waited to for brown eyes to open back up. When that happened, Spencer stared into those eyes for a few seconds before moving in for a kiss.
Ashley was surprised by how slowly Spencer was kissing her. It wasn't a complaint, but she had expected something more ferocious based on their earlier activities. The kiss was passionate and all-consuming. Ashley was running her fingers through Spencer's hair, she needed more of the blonde, to be even closer to her.
After a while, Spencer pulled back leaving Ashley breathless yet again.
When Spencer felt enough time had passed, she moved her hand back to Ashley's leg. Expletives flew out of Ashley's mouth in response. If this was just the preview, Ashley wondered if actually having sex with Spencer was going to kill her.
She couldn't wait to find out if that was the case.
"I can't believe you're at a King High basketball game." Sean remarked as he waited with Spencer for the game to start. He was not adverse to school activities, but being friends with Spencer usually meant he didn't get involved in much.
Spencer snorted. "You can't believe I'm at a game? I can't believe I'm at a game! This is madness."
"It's amazing what we do for pretty girls." Sean made sure to keep his voice low so they weren't overheard.
"You're telling me." Spencer patted her friend's shoulder, "Maybe one day you'll have a pretty girl of your own to do stupid things for."
Sean shot his friend a pointed look, but did not address the dig she'd thrown out. "Things with Ashley are going well then?"
Spencer involuntarily smiled. Both at the memory of their earlier dalliance and at just the thought of Ashley in general.
"Never mind," Sean said before his friend had a chance to answer his question. "The absolutely goofy expression on your face right now tells me all I need to know."
"My face isn't goofy!" Spencer protested, her signature half scowl back in place.
"Look," Sean pointed his finger towards the court, "here comes Ashley."
"Where?" Spencer started looking around immediately. "Where's Ashley?"
Sean chuckled at the blonde's expense, "Yeah, exactly." He held up his phone and turned on the camera so Spencer could see herself. "That goofy face."
That comment earned him a smack upside his head. "You jerk."
"You know, you call me that a lot," Sean joked. "Perhaps you should find some other sucker to take your abuse and you can leave me in peace."
"You'd miss me too much, I could never do that to you." Spencer replied. She was about to continue joking around with Sean when she caught sight of the cheerleaders walking into the gym. Like most days of late, all her attention became focused on Ashley. She couldn't look anywhere else except at the brown eyes searching the crowd.
It took Ashley a few seconds, but eventually she spotted Spencer and Sean sitting in the stands. She had been reluctant to ask Spencer to come see her cheer. There had been a couple of reasons for that. In the end, Ashley was glad that she'd overcome her reluctance and invited the blonde. She worked hard at cheerleading. And it was nice for her to be able to share that with her girlfriend.
Ashley wasn't naive. She knew exactly how Spencer felt about her after school activities. As much as she loved seeing brunette in her uniform, she didn't get why Ashley joined in. Even with that attitude of indifference, as soon as Ashley had mentioned that it was important to her, Spencer had changed her tune immediately. There was joking around - there always was with Spencer - but it wasn't mean-spirited or with the intention of being hurtful. Therein lay the difference from their interactions when they were first paired up for Home Ec.
As soon she made eye contact with Spencer, Ashley smiled brightly. She absolutely loved being a part of the blonde's life again and having the blonde a part of hers.
"You're drooling," Sean whispered in his friend's ear but Spencer didn't pay him any attention.
Whenever Ashley entered a room, it was like Spencer had forgotten how to function normally. All she could do was stare at the other girl and forget everything else around her. Not caring that Sean would make fun of her, she gave Ashley a little wave and a bright smile of her own.
Ashley felt her heart leap when Spencer waved at her. Not caring who was watching, she waved back. It took Madison's booming voice to bring Ashley back to reality. She winked at the blonde and then focused her attention back at the final instructions she was being given before the game started.
Throughout the game both girls kept most of their attention on one another. Ashley wasn't too careless that she lost focus on the routines she was performing. That would have been disastrous. But no matter what she did, she found herself constantly looking over at Spencer. She was thrilled when every time she did, her girlfriend was looking right back at her.
Although Ashley was performing well, Madison was not happy with her. That was par for the course lately. She was growing frustrated every time she glanced over at her friend, to find her friend looking in the direction of Spencer and Sean. It was infuriating.
She couldn't understand why Ashley preferred to hang out with those losers. They were nobodies. Madison thought that perhaps she and Aiden were officially a couple had something to do with Ashley pulling away, but her gut told her it was more than that. In fact, Ashley hadn't once mentioned Aiden since they broke up. Nothing made sense.
When the buzzer sounded, and it was Aiden who had made the last shot of the game to win, Madison wasn't thinking about Ashley anymore. Who cared if she wasn't going to be around to celebrate the victory at the team party? Now that she was dating the star player, Madison got the attention that she craved.
She was going to have fun with her man and whatever stupid and boring plans Ashley had for later were her problem.
"You know, it's not really sneaking me in if we're going through the front door," Ashley remarked as she walked up the driveway of Spencer's house.
"Always a critic," Spencer replied before she pulled Ashley towards her so she could steal a quick kiss before they went inside. "You can climb a ladder to my room later if you really want. Will that make you stop complaining?"
They got quiet as they were approached the front door. Spencer had hoped that her dad would be out for the night but he had messaged her earlier to say he was staying in. He had asked her to come home for dinner, but Spencer ignored that request. She told him she had plans and that she was bringing Ashley back later to spend the night. Arthur was surprised because Spencer never had anyone over anymore besides Sean. He wanted to ask Spencer when she and Ashley had become friends again, but most his questions these days went unanswered.
Spencer led the two of them inside. She wasn't sure if it would be better for her if her dad was already passed out, or if he tried to make conversation with them. Spencer found neither scenario appealing.
"You're home!" Arthur was beaming as he greeted Spencer and Ashley at the door.
"It would appear that way," Spencer replied dully. She had a well-trained eye when it came to her dad. So even though he wasn't slurring his words or anything like that, she knew he'd been drinking already. "It's been a long day, we're going to head upstairs."
"But I made popcorn and bought some candy and stuff," Arthur said before Spencer could leave the entranceway. "There's a Cavs game on tonight. I thought you guys should come and watch with me."
"We're not interested." Spencer knew she was probably coming across as a jerk, but she couldn't help herself. She was done trying when it came to her dad. She couldn't put herself through that anymore. And now with Ashley here, she didn't want her to see what her dad had turned into. It was too painful.
Arthur shot a pleading look at Ashley - which probably wasn't fair of him to do - but he was desperate. He was tired of being rejected all the time by Spencer. It hurt and he was already dealing with enough hurt to last a lifetime.
Ashley felt like she was being put in the middle by Arthur. She didn't see the harm in spending a little time downstairs with him. She recognized that this wasn't her call to make though. She was going to follow Spencer's lead and if Spencer wanted to leave, then that's what they were going to do.
Once they were in the sanctuary of her room, Spencer felt a little better. At least her dad wouldn't bother her here. "So, do you want to pick up where we left off at lunch?" Being distracted by Ashley was a great way to forget about everything else.
Ashley joined Spencer on the bed, sitting beside the other girl. "As much as I would love to say yes, I feel kind of weird with your dad here. I mean, what if he comes up here? You don't even have a lock on your door."
"Spoilsport," Spencer pouted. She knew that Ashley was right, of course, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it. "Fine! I suppose that's OK. I'm sure we can find something else to do to pass the time until he goes to sleep or passes out."
After some discussion and some mild making out—because Ashley couldn't resist kissing Spencer for too long—they decided to watch a movie. Not trusting themselves on Spencer's bed, they decided to sit on the floor. Once the movie started, Ashley put her head on Spencer's shoulder and that made both girls smile.
About halfway through the film, Spencer's door flew open causing both girls to jump away from each other in fright. They hadn't even been doing anything, but Arthur had taken them by surprise.
"What are you guys doing?" Arthur asked. This time his speech was very slurred. He'd clearly been drinking heavily since they'd left him downstairs.
Spencer was beyond livid. She couldn't believe her dad would act this way in front of Ashley. Even if Ashley hadn't been there, he never invaded her space like this. She was sick and tired of having to deal with him. "Get the hell out of my room!"
Arthur wasn't going anywhere. "Don't order me around. I'm still your father."
"My father?" Spencer could not believe the nerve of her dad. "What a joke. Exactly how much have you had to drink tonight?"
Ashley, in a state of shock, watched the whole scene play out in muted horror. She could only imagine how badly this was going to end.
"That's none of your business." Arthur's legs were starting to get wobbly, but he wasn't going anywhere until his daughter agreed to spend time with him. "You'll do what I say or-"
"Or what?" Spencer scoffed. She was going to end this now. "The next time you decide to start acting like my father, why don't you try doing it when you're not wasted out of your mind." She stood toe-to-toe with Arthur, her eyes blazing. "Until then, leave me the fuck alone."
Arthur was flabbergasted. He never expected any child of his to talk to him like Spencer just did. He wanted to yell at her, but he wasn't feeling that great so he decided to wait until later for that. He reluctantly left his daughter's room so he could go back to the kitchen for another drink.
Spencer slammed the door behind him, not caring how loud a noise she made. Every part of her body was tense. She was just about to turn around and apologize to Ashley for the scene her dad had made, but a loud crashing noise stopped her cold.
Without looking back, she flung the door open to see what had happened. When she got to the top of the stairs, her whole body went cold and everything stopped.
Her dad was lying at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of his own blood.
And he wasn't moving.