[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] Hi everyone. Two updates in one day are probably not a very smart idea. But I never claimed to be smart. I'm just a girl who is irrevocably obsessed with the characters in this story.
This one is dedicated to Villemo79. I'm happy that you liked the conversation between Bella and Zafrina in the last chapter.
**Chapter 53**
My heartbeat quickened instantly and I wiped my sweaty hands on the sleeves of my shirt.
You can do that, Bella. I told myself, the last of a dozen attempts, to calm myself down. It didn't work. Of course it didn't work. I knew it wouldn't.
"Bella?"
I shrugged when I felt Zafrina's warm hand on my shoulder. Her lips twitched into a smile, making her dark eyes sparkle in the horrible artificial light in the office.
"Don't be afraid. Everything is going to be fine." she whispered and I nodded my head, knowing that my voice would probably crack like an old record in a gramophone if I spoke right now.
"Miss Penthes, we're ready to start now." A young secretary with a horrible perm informed her.
"Yes, of course. Just let me speak to my client alone for a moment."
I stood up from the plastic chair and my knees started to tremble slightly.
"Breathe," Zafrina whispered.
Then she cleared her throat before she pulled something in a white envelope out of her handbag.
"Keep this in your hand. If you think, that everything is too much for you, you may open it."
"Kay."
I followed her into the other room and at first I saw nothing apart from the ice-cold look in the eyes of my hopefully soon-to-be ex-husband.
When I sat down next to Zafrina, I feared that every single person in the room would be able to hear the ragged beating in my chest.
"Good morning, Miss Swan. How are you doing?" Edward's lawyer greeted me politely. I remembered him from one of the few business dinners that I had attended to please my husband.
"Good morning, Mr. Masen." I croaked out, cursing myself for the stupid trembling in my voice.
"Your client looks a little bit pale, Miss Penthes." he stated and I fought the urge to hit him straight in the face for this stupid comment.
"She's fine, Mr. Masen. Pale is the new tan, didn't you know that?"
He smirked, taking a last look at the folder in his hands before he continued.
"Maybe she's just nervous, because she knows that it's stupid what she's doing here."
"Maybe she's just nervous because unlike me and you and…your…client, she doesn't spend too much time in court. And just for the record; it's your client that should be nervous, not her."
The judge entered the room and I hoped that I wouldn't faint accidentally. That would be just too embarrassing, wouldn't it?
"Morning everybody," he greeted us and I noticed that his voice had an unpleasant purring sound that made my head ache.
"Miss Penthes, is your client agreeable with the allowance of the adverse party?"
"No, she's not. They are completely ridiculous and she would prove that she had not more than one single brain cell, if she would be so stupid to agree to this none sense."
"Miss Penthes, a simple 'yes' ore 'no' would have been enough."
He turned to Edward's lawyer now.
"Mr. Masen?"
"No, your honor, my client won't accept the impertinent things that his wife is claiming."
"Fine, so let's start this now. The sooner we start, the sooner it will be over."
"Miss Swan, are you sure that you want to divorce your husband?"
I nodded my head and Zafrina pinched my arm to remember me that I needed to answer him verbally.
"Yes, I'm sure." My voice was too low.
"Miss Swan?"
"Yes, I'm sure about the divorce." I repeated a little louder.
"Mr. Cullen?"
He raised his head and spoke up, the first time at all since we entered the room. His voice didn't sound insecure at all. It was warm and smooth like honey.
"I don't want to divorce my wife although that would be the natural consequence after what she did to me."
What I did to him? What about the things he had done to me?
"Mr. Cullen, your wife doesn't want to stay married to you. It's not going to make things easier for the two of you, if you refuse to sign the divorce papers."
"I just wanted to make a point that we're not here because of me, but because of her."
The judge sipped on a glass of water on his desk.
"We'll see."
He opened the file and flipped through the pages with a bored expression on his face.
"Custody claim concerning the child named Elizabeth Charlotte Cullen."
"Miss Swan, your lawyer informed me that both, you and your husband are claiming full custody for your daughter. Is that correct?"
"Yes, sir,"
"Mr. Cullen?"
His emerald eyes met mine for a split second and a shiver of fear went down my spine.
"I wouldn't want my only child to live in unsettled means. My…wife is living with my sister now."
"What do you mean she's living with your sister now?"
"They're having an affair. While I was away working hard to provide the life style my wife so furiously enjoyed, she cheated on me behind my back. In my own house on top of it,"
"Mr. Cullen, I hate to remind you, but you cheated on your wife too."
"Do you have any proof for that?"
"We have the testimony of your wife and your sister."
He chuckled slightly; his lips turning into that damned crooked smile that had once made my heart melt from the inside out.
"That's not worth the sheet of paper it's written on."
"We also have you credit card bill. Can you explain to us why you always needed a double room during your business trips to Anchorage?" Zafrina stated calmly.
"That doesn't prove anything. I just like to have some space…"
"Would you mind if we asked your former secretary Miss Denali about your preference for space?"
"No, I wouldn't. But as she's not here right now, we can't do that."
"Hmm, can you tell me, why you fired her?"
"I don't think it's important for this case, but to answer your question. She was a lousy secretary."
"And it took you three years to discover that?"
"Miss Penthes, I don't like the way, you keep talking to my client. It doesn't matter why he fired his secretary."
"I think it does, Mr. Masen, because he fired her right after his wife discovered that he was having an affair with her."
"An affair that you don't have any proof for, Miss Penthes,"
"I would let Miss Denali show up here today but she didn't react to any of the letters my office sent to her address."
"Mr. Cullen, do you have any proof that your wife is having an affair with your sister?"
He nodded his head.
"She was so stupid to tell everyone about it. You can ask her yourself, if you want to."
The judge gulped down the rest of the water in his glass.
"Miss Swan?"
"I wouldn't exactly call it an affair. We're in love." We're actually so much more than in love, so much more that no one would ever understand.
"And you're planning on raising the child together with her aunt? Do you think that's appropriate?"
"Your honor, I think that it is way more appropriate than letting her stay with a mentally instable father who doesn't seem to have any control about his actions."
"Miss Penthes, I've already told you that I dislike the way you're speaking about my client."
"Mr. Masen, I'm sorry, that the truth seems to offend him. But you can't deny the fact that he broke the restraining order..."
"A restraining order that was completely unnecessary, Miss Penthes,"
"Unnecessary? Have you seen the pictures of the bruises he left on his daughters arm?"
She turned to the judge.
"Page four in the folder, your honor."
He flipped the page open and rubbed his chin thoughtlessly.
"Mr. Cullen, can you explain those injuries?"
Edward cleared his throat nervously.
"I didn't mean to hurt Lilly, but she was so stubborn and didn't want to come with me when I wanted to pick her up to save her from her perverted mother."
"Mr. Masen, I don't like the way your client talks about mine. It's completely unprofessional."
"Yes, Miss Penthes. He won't do that again, but it shows just how much the whole situation upsets him."
"Mr. Masen, trust me it upsets my client way more than it upsets yours."
"Miss Penthes! Mr. Masen! Your little private interactions are starting to annoy me. Could you try to cool down on that a little bit?"
"Yes, your honor. Would you please take a look on page six and seven? We have the testimony of three adult people that he tried to pull his daughter into his car, although she told him that she didn't want to go with him. She's scared of her father now."
"She's not scared of me," Edward croaked out, biting his fingernails nervously.
"And if she is, than it's completely the fault of her mother because she told her lies about me."
"Mr. Cullen, that's not an excuse for hurting a five year old child like this."
"It also doesn't explain the events in my client's house. He threatened to kill her. Do you have an explanation for this behavior?"
Edward's lawyer pulled a tissue out of his pocket and wiped a few drops of sweat from his forehead.
"My client doesn't remember anything about it."
The judge raised one eyebrow in confusion.
"What do you mean, he doesn't remember anything? What kind of lame excuse is that?"
"Your honor, it's not an excuse. He swallowed some tranquilizers against his fear of flying and then he had a few drinks with one of his clients…"
"It still sounds like an excuse to me. And not a very good one, if you ask me."
"Miss Penthes, I'm not asking you." The judge snarled at her before he continued.
"But I've read the police report. Mr. Cullen, do you think it's appropriate for someone in your profession to let yourself go like that?"
"No, your honor, of course not,"
"Your honor, we're not here today to discuss the incidents of this night. We're here for the divorce and custody claim."
"Mr. Masen is actually right, your honor, but I think the happenings of that night are proofing the fact that Mr. Cullen is in no way capable of taking care of a little child."
"And what, Miss Penthes, makes you think that his wife is better suited for that than he is? She left her devoted husband…,"
I had to swallow back a little bit of vomit in my mouth when he said the word devoted. What a fucking hypocrite.
"For an unnatural relationship with her husband's sister,"
"Mr. Masen, are you trying to tell us that my client is a bad mother because she's with another woman now?"
"I don't think that it would be good for the child to be raised like that. A child needs a mother and a father, not two mothers."
My hands started quivering slightly and I forced myself to take several deep breaths through my nose to calm myself down.
"Your honor, I think the fact that Mr. Masen's client seems to have severe issues with his temper is way more than dangerous for his daughter's well-being."
"Unlike Miss Penthes client, mine agreed to do some family therapy to save his marriage. She's a selfish, self-absorbed person who thinks more of her own perverted lust than about the happiness of her child."
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to fight back the tears that were already glistening in the corner of my eyes. Perverted? Selfish? Had it been selfish of me to want to be with Ali? Was it selfish to want to be loved and cherished? Would it have been more acceptable if I had found that in the arms of a man?
Zafrina said something to the judge that was too complicated for me to understand it. He responded something to her in an unfriendly voice before he turned to Edwards' lawyer again. I wondered if it would make a difference if I wouldn't be here at all. I didn't want to be here, damn it.
With trembling fingertips I ripped the small envelope in my hands open and a small picture fell out of it. I caught it before it hit the ground.
It was the one of Ali, Lilly and me that I had made during our trip to Disneyland and a warm tingly feeling spread through my body as I remembered taking it.
Then I read the words that were written on the bottom of the picture.
Happy families are all alike…
I nodded my head and shoved the picture back into the envelope. Then I raised my head again and waited. Waited to be damned, to be forgiven, waited to be judged for the things I had decided to do in my life.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
[A/N] I'm terribly nervous about this chapter; it was so difficult for me to write it. I hope it doesn't suck too much. Leave me some love and review. I could really need some encouraging words right now.