Am I an honest man and true? Have I been good to you at all? Oh I'm so tired of playing these games. We'd just be running down, the same old lines, the same old stories of breathless trains and, worn down glories; houses burning, worlds that turn on their own
Fairly nice smells wafted from the kitchen, and Levi gave a tiny sigh, scooping a bit more ointment into his hands, Zoe's skirts hiked up. Her eyes were half-lidded, watching him and his hands move, her bandages outside, near the outposts set in front of the house, and Jean had popped in a few minutes before to tell them they were almost dry, even though it was already dark.
"Thank you," she mumbled, lips barely moving.
"For what?"
"What do you think?"
Levi let a brief smile slip through, head tipped down, face shrouded, "You're welcome. And this keeps you far away from the kitchen, so."
"I can cook. You said I could."
"Yea, for a kiss, Zoe. You can't cook; haven't we established that?"
She pouted, the emote over exaggerated, but it was somewhat adorable. Still, the notion held; didn't matter how cute she'd get, she wasn't going to cute. Jean came in with the bandages, eyes going to her exposed legs for a beat longer than Levi thought necessary. The boy turned quickly, and ran back to the post, Zoe laughing, the sound hushed in her hand. Levi turned, grabbing the lid for the ointment, wiping off his hands before he screwed the cap on, rooting around for the next.
He applied it directly where Sjeh said he could, shiver threatening to rock his frame as he thought about her almost killing him the alleyway. But it was nice that someone cared for Zoe besides him; at least, someone with the same kind verve. Levi worked his hand around her ankle, wiping his hands off again before he wrapped the bandages around her leg, tight like Sjeh said. He stopped, remembering another addition to this, hand under her foot, pushing her through at least 10 leg movements. She bit the inside of her cheek, sighing in exhaustion as he finally wrapped the bandages around her leg again, standing and helping her to her feet.
"You okay?" He held her hand a bit tighter, watching her set her foot, putting weight on it.
"Yea. Just grateful I didn't get anything worse."
He remained quiet, supporting her as she rocked from foot to foot, barely any weight put on his. Zoe tucked a piece of her hair over her ear, buzzcut almost fully grown out. She'd recently had it cut so it was mildly proportional, cheekbones sharper, probably because of all the shit he'd recently put her through. Levi glanced out the window, catching the last rays of light, missing him somehow, alighting on her for the briefest moment.
It gave her a lovely black light, though the effect was more of a further confirmation that she resided in the light, while he dwelled here in the dark. The Underground had him here, even. Perhaps that was the idea the world was projecting onto him, as the shadows better cloaked him. Sad, maybe that he allowed it to fit over him, pulled them tight.
In that moment, she pulled him down, smiling at him, "Are you alright?" The light had caught, and her brown eyes turned gold, though that faded.
"Shit," he managed.
"What? Levi, you know how I feel about your poop analogies-"
He cut her off with a kiss, any kind of finesse disregarded, wishing he could pick her up, push her against the wall. She was forced back a couple steps, hand tight in his hair, other on his shoulder, sliding down to his hand. This house. Them. No one else around them, humanity at peace in victory, he could see that, accept it, knew he'd be able to put it into action, than keep this only a fantasy, something to comfort him, and not much. Desperately, he wanted to see that.
He pulled back, breathing heavy, feeling her sway, eyes still shut. "No more poop jokes."
"You're lying," she breathed.
"Yea."
He, knowing he couldn't calculate how this was all going to end up, and he was somewhat out of commission but fuck. Levi wanted one thing, and historically, he didn't get what he wanted by wishing, but that was as much as he could do right now. He'd like it to end up here, forgotten everywhere but in books, Zoe as well, even.
It was selfish. He'd lost a lot of friends, comrades, and he shouldn't be putting his faith in this future, because as he did, he became scared of it never becoming a reality. Levi had actually seen her before his brief stint in training (very brief), walking throughout the underground, taller brother at her side, trailing after her mother. Arguing, and she'd rolled her eyes off to the side, still sticking close to her mother.
His friend had raised an eyebrow, leaning over the surface he'd been on, LEvi couldn't really remember. Just the words, "There aren't any pretty girls down here."
Isabel, had glared, tossing her dull red hair, out of her face, unruly as always, hands on her hips for an instant, choosing in the next to lash out, whack the taller boy on his head, messing up the carefully arranged fringe. He'd interceded, eventually, let Farlan carry on.
Farlan ignored her for the most part despite the attack. "Nah, look at how pretty she is; clean. Gotta be from Wall Sina. Fuck, there was a noble girl down here, one time, remember? Adventuring."
"Then the Military Police popped in, and took her back."
"Of course, we can't have pretty people, or things around us, yea?"
In a sense, they were right. But he wasn't entirely immoral, fuck, and they were obviously here for a bit more cash than the government could dole out considering their goods. Levi heralded the statement as such; pretty things grew under light. Dead things came down here, and thrived in the cold darkness, and though they'd looked up, wondered where the birds went, they never went anywhere. Mostly because he wasn't assured of his and his friend's safety, and it was of considerable
"Morons," Levi had muttered, which usually got them to clam up for about a second, draw attention to getting back at him. He'd glanced at her once more, and when he'd seen her in training, he'd made the connection a few days after that, even among Farlan trying to be a tastemaker.
One day, he'd tell her. But if this was the last night? Somehow.
"I saw you once before training," he said, once again with the quiet, internal 'fuck it', "In the underground."
She didn't look surprised. "I know. I saw you too." A shrug followed, attention at his hair, twisting a lock around her finger till he touched her hand away, arranging it back in place.
He frowned. "Why didn't you say?"
"I barely recognized you. And then I forgot about it, to be honest. It's been some time between training, then, and now."
"Did you want to know anything about that time? Anything more? Preferably nothing personal, you always ask for a fucking memoir's worth." He was anxious. He'd never been anxious, really, confidence carrying him through.
Her finger touched in revealed space of his button down, shaking her head, "Yes. If you're comfortable enough, Levi; and you realize that memoirs are very necessary."
"Some other time, then."
She tipped up, butting her head underneath his chin, warm hand sliding slow under his shirt. His arm went around her waist, draping there, tired. Eren walked into view, and Levi looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
"Dinner's ready," Eren said, apron in his hand, food streaked.
"Hopefully, it's better than your cleaning."
After, he saw her walk outside, the darkness almost swallowing her up, but the moon was out in full force. As well as the stars. Levi slowed, tipping his chin to gaze up at the stars, just off the steps into the house. A slight noise drew his attention down, and he saw her sitting on large rock close to the porch. He moved towards her, sitting close to her, leg stretched out next to hers, other tucked up, allowing him for a better hold where he sat, and a load off her ankle.
"My dad used to have stories about them."
"What?" Levi asked.
"The stars. He had stories about the stars."
Levi had never really had any time for stories, up until now. "Yea?"
"My brother memorized them better than I did. But, I remember a couple. At least, the gist behind them. And you stole my book."
There was that. "To annoy you. But, it seems you didn't even need it."
She laughed, reached, shoved him over, but fell quiet, staring at the stars. They looked similar. Levi had heard Zoe prattling on about them maybe having their true properties revealed with some science, hadn't listened, mostly because it went over his head, and reminded him far too much of four-eyes. Maybe the last name association helped.
Said four-eyes trooped past, and Levi grabbed a stone, pulling back before tossing the pebble towards her head, speaking when he heard her yelp, "we're changing your last name legally when we get back, Hanji."
"You can't do that without paperwork, Levi," four-eyes snapped, though she'd caught the projectile before it hit her, rock hitting the ground. "And you hate paperwork."
"You think I won't do some to decrease your level of annoyance?" He patted around for more throwable objects. "It's either that, or-"
"Zoe's my middlename, you do know that?" Zoe asked from his side, hand under her chin. "No, I didn't tell you. Sorry, kind of goes over my own head."
He stared forward, hardly moving his lips when he spoke, "Are you saying that- What the fuck is your first name, Zoe?"
"Magdalena Zoe Roth," she said, ducking her head, chin to her chest, almost hiding her face from him. "I don't; look, I told people it was Zoe because it felt stronger than Magdalena. It was a chance to start fresh in the Cadet program, okay? And do you know how much my mother shouted that name; all the time," Zoe shifted to another pitch of voice, dropping a bit lower, petulance resonating as she recited," Magdalena, how many times did I tell you to clean this? Magdalena, did you read-finish the gardening?" Zoe returned to her normal voice, eyes still away from him "All that grated on my nerves, so. Only my brother used it, because he knew I liked it better. Also, everyone would eventually start calling me Mags without a second to stop and ask if I liked the nickname. And it's long winded. And only on really official documents do I have to print it. So, convenience."
He understood that. A hell of a lot of people went by their middle names, or some variation of nickname, maybe. It had to be a military thing. And mostly, it was just Hanji Zoe, and Zoe Roth, that got on his nerves; the former. FRankly, he'd seen a chance to fuck with four-eyes, so he would make an effort to bother Hanji if he could.
"Mags," he said, muffled a scoff in his hand. "Funny." He got a elbow, though he barely moved, hand half over his lips, catching her eyes, spoke around the obstacle, "Fine, I'll stick with Zoe. But when we have time, or space alone, maybe we can shift it back, huh?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "shitty four-eyes might still change her name, so hold out."
Hanji was squawking about him, but as usual, he tuned her out, easy as moving in his 3D movement gear. He did see her waving in his peripheral vision, but he turned further to Zoe. The last name to first name similarity had pissed him off to a damn good extent, and she hadn't said anything, because apparently, until now, informing him of her first name wasn't important.
Someday the waves will stop, every aching old machine will feel no pain. Someday we both will walk where a baby made tomorrow is again waking before you. I'm like the lord who sees his love though we don't know; seems like a long, long time since I've been above you seen and loved you soYou pick a place that's where I'll be, time like your cheek has turned for me.
Eren's Titan experiment had taken enough strength out of him, and he slept through the night. Late in the evening, they all went to bed, and Hanji sat over Eren while Levi walked quickly to bed, almost dragging Zoe after him, desperate to get away. Hanji had gone over the results ten times, and they were all tired. Also, repetition did not strike a good note with him.
"I think he's going to sleep through the day," Levi said, jerking off his boots, setting them neatly in the corner.
She gave a tiny sigh, letting herself down onto the bed, slow to take off her boots. Once her clothes were off, she slid on shorts before collapsing, head buried in her pillow. Levi eyed her before stepping forward, lighting the fire, the cold night air infiltrating their bedroom. He stood eventually, sliding in bed next to her, hand rubbing down her bare arm, letting his slip around her stomach.
Zoe shifted slightly, hand coming to rest over his, body curled, smaller now that she was asleep. Levi slept soon after, mind surprisingly vacant, waking up naturally in the morning, spending a good moment getting accustomed to being conscious. He let his hand trail soft over her back, down her spine, noticing the goosebumps left in his finger's wake.
His touches eventually woke her up, and she turned to face him, stretching with those little squeaks he found somewhat endearing, if not confusing. Zoe sat up, and he followed, arm slipping back around her waist, forehead to her shoulder blade. She looked over at him, and gave a slow smile, reading his expression perfectly, turning, and leaning in, his hand going to her cheek.
"You have to be quiet, you know?" He mumbled.
"I'm not good at that."
He completed the distance left between them, catching her lips in a fairly searing kiss, teeth dragging over her bottom lip. His nails dug into her skin, and he shifted himself over her, hips slotting between her legs, glancing between them before he engaged in the kiss again. Levi's hand smoothed up over her skin, rocking his hips down, grinding slow against her, keeping the pace even as the kiss became hungrier.
She pulled away with a fairly wet smack, breathing heavy. LEvi dropped his lips, and her hand twined in his hair, other hand dragging over his back. He gave a small shudder, pain lacing through him, a small groan breaking from his lips, and he halted his progress for an instant. Shit, this fucking reminded him that he was alive, he swore that was some of the allure.
Her hand slapped against the headboard, stopping her head from hitting it, their progress leaving tangled sheets at the foot of it. She gave a tiny laugh, though he was fairly concerned, and made an assumed little smile, dipping in, asking if she was fine. Zoe nodded, laughing again, then sobered, bringing him back in.
Levi's arm dropped under her back, arching her up as much as he could before he retracted his arm, distracted easily, his mouth trailing slowly over her breasts. Zoe's breath caught, and he pressed harder between her legs, disliking the fabric, four layers seeming like fortified barriers than cloth, distracted by her ridiculously responsive body, fire still going in the hearth, robbing oxygen from people who actually needed it.
And he didn't feel like getting up and opening the window, especially as she began undulating like that under him. Oh fuck all, she was just-
"I need," she attempted, then cut herself off, preferring the soft moans from before. Her jaw worked, arching as her toes curled, hips rolling up, friction attempting, it seemed, to put an end to any stamina he'd looked to hold.
Levi wanted to hear her ask for him, beg even, he wasn't picky at the moment, and he hadn't had sex in awhile, "Come on, Zoe. What do you need?"
Her hand fisted tight in his hair, and she shook her head, a hand flying out before she slapped it to rest on the bed, giving her traction. Zoe's legs wound around his waist, hips canting up. Fuck. His kisses were more bites now as he steadily moved down, teeth at her skin, back bowing out slightly, and LEvi brought his lips back to hers. Levi had to remind himself how to breathe, unable to take his hands off her for the moment needed to strip off his underwear.
His thumb smoothed slow over a blooming bruise on the rise of her breast, breathing ragged. The lull broke in an instant, and he gripped tight, hand sliding down her warm body, hitching her legs a bit better around him, allowing his nail to drag slow up as well. Zoe let her head tip back, lips moving soundlessly, and he placed his under her chin, nipping down, trailing wet there, hearing his name when she managed words.
Breath rattled fast in and out of her lungs, hands fumbling down over him. "Come on," she whispered. "Please, LEvi. For once, don't be an ass."
"Please what?" he asked, close to just shoving the notion of making her beg out the window and fucking over any thoughts of foreplay. "Besides, it is a full time occupation, Zoe." The squeak of annoyance was always worth the sentence.
Her repeat of please was rushed, garbled, but the rest, "I need it."
"What?" he asked, saw the flush of impatience spread through her, her legs tight around his waist.
"I need your dick, Levi."
"One more time, I'm not sure-"
"Your dick, your cock, Levi." Her eyes were narrowed, all fight. "whatever the hell you want to call it, just, fuck me." if this had been any other situation, she might've grabbed him by the collar and rattled him.
The corner of his mouth twitched, victory tangible. "Are you sure?"
"Fuck, yes, I can take it Levi, please. Stop being such a tease, and fucking fuck me," said the woman who routinely employed this tactic.
"Fuck," he said it outloud, hand shifting quick between her legs, two fingers slipping into her. "Yea? So fucking wet for me, Zoe,"
She hissed quiet, teeth clenched, his fingers moving fast over her clit, "Yes," her entire body was moving to increase pressure on her clit. "Fuck me into- " Zoe jolted, biting her lip hard, tremors rocking through her, totalling to one of the quickest orgasms he'd managed to get from her, high sob caught in her throat, his name following. "Levi; you promised, and I want it now." She tipped up, gripped the back of his neck to hold herself close and steady. "If you fucking tease me, I'll kill you," she said, even as her chest heaved, flushed with her recent orgasm.
Didn't mean anything, and he could probably stop her, but still; cautious. His hand moved slowly out from between her legs, her body going limp for a second when he eased back, one of her hands sliding through her hair to better arrange it. Fucking gorgeous, and she knew it, smirk curling her lips, a mirror of his, maybe, at another. He didn't give it another thought, taking only an instant to ease away and toss his underwear to the side, concentrating on them as he pushed slow into her. Her pupils were blown, the light brown just a halo of sorts, twisting under him to get closer, as if that was possible.
He loved her like this, knowing that he was the only one who could honestly give her what she needed, broken words barely getting the request across, but she wanted him; no one else. The tight little body under him; All for him, and he was so goddamn selfish, refusing, more to himself, to let anyone else have her. Something of an ego, maybe, within that, but fuck, fuck, fuck.
Her hand fumbled at the back of his neck, yanking him down for a hard kiss. Levi pulled away to catch his breath, shifting, pressing open mouthed kisses over her collarbone, stalling once more as he felt her flutter around him, breathing deep. He moved, keeping a steady pace, watching her face, making sure she was in a good place, before he actually put his mind to meeting her request.
. Maybe he'd ask her one day, with the orphanage better known as a warfront gone from everything but nightmares, if she'd allow him to commit his life to hers, but he couldn't stand tether himself further to her. So for now, he was going to do something he honestly knew how to do.
He could make a fucking presentation considering her, how if you slid your finger slow like that over her hipbone, tip in for a bit of nail, she'd almost buckle if you had her in the right position. And there was a pretty mark on her back, though she told him it was a burn from a mishap in reading, and he'd mouthed over it once, gotten the prettiest shudder. Later, she asked him what he did, and he laughed, thinking it impossible to know her body better than her.
But he did.
Levi's kisses compared to his current pace were exceedingly slow, a bit less finesse, sloppy, even, her sweaty skin familiar. He let his finger drag over her hip bone, and her back arched, legs tightening over his waist, head tossed back. Levi let his hands join hers, fisted in the sheets, wanting to get her through one more orgasm, the noises she made blurred as he recited a well known mantra(centered around letting her finish first, please her) in his head.
So fucking tight, fuck him, he was so fucking lucky. And he didn't deserve her, but fuck, at least he was giving back. She went pliant, that gorgeous, flushed and sated look straining his self-control. Zoe pressed her head into the crook of her elbow, pushed to meet him, her toes curling, one of her legs bending with it, folding under him finally. He came as she did, body curved over hers, keeping it slow, just rocking there as they both took time to breathe. She drew her nail down his back, a lazy pattern appearing. Levi allowed himself to give for a second, forehead on her collarbone.
"you like this house?" he asked.
"Why?"
Levi readjusted, his face tucked to her neck, breathing her in, "If...the world stops being shitty. This would be nice, right?"
"Are you promising me the world, right now, LEvi?" she asked, amusement coloring her voice.
"The world…" he opened his eyes. "yea." because right now, that's all he wanted, this little world that he could lose himself in, here, between them, didn't fucking matter, this was what he wanted, if it all went to shit, he'd run to her first.
"Okay, I'd prefer that version of my future, anyways. At least I know it'll be distrubingly clean," she said, laughing at herself, and he shook his head. "Let me open the window," she mumbled, waiting for him to sit back, watching her as picked her way through the discarded clothing on the floor
Along with the burn mark, she had numerous, pale scratches, darker ones, and he saw the one on her leg, jagged, almost like lightening. There were dimples on her lower back, moving with her. She opened the window, cool air sweeping into the room, the fire jumping.
"Bath?"
After that, Levi briefly stopped by Eren's bed, made sure he wasn't needed, and informed them of where he was going. Levi saddled his horse next to her, hitching a food and water filled saddle bag there as well before swinging up. Zoe bounced on a foot, then used the momentum to get her up on horseback as well, catching his eye, smiling.
"What?"
"Still reeling from the Magdalena reveal."
"It was a clean slate idea, Levi."
"I thought you said your brother used it."
"Fine; it was a somewhat clean slate. A happy, somewhat clean one, and three letter to a name; that's easy to sign."
"So it's laziness."
"Says the man who wears a cravat almost everywhere."
"that has nothing to do with laziness."
"I know, I was just using that to switch topic to your general neurotic behavior surrounding the cravat. Specifically, the hours you spent teaching me how to properly tie yours." She glared, eyeing him. "You brought out fucking diagrams and used, who was it back then?...Oh, yea; Geo as a mannequin."
"He'd be more useful as that, he still tracks mud everywhere inside that Inn he's managing. Worse than Eren and his half-assed cleaning."
They rode side by side, taking a path up a mountain, slowing to walk, ducking under branches. Levi didn't talk about anything serious, preferring to talk about something other than the present, focus on the future for a bit. He kept his eyes on her, wanted to tell her everything, but everything just seemed dumb. It wouldn't get anywhere, didn't know. Levi couldn't predict the outcomes, he really couldn't, no matter how much he wanted. They were ordinary people, for the most part, and he knew how sheer will couldn't change the most drastic situations. Because, if he couldn't he'd stop the Titan from crushing Isabel, and eating Farlan.
Levi caught sight of a deer, pointed for her benefit. Zoe looked, watching the doe graze, though they moved out of range. There was a clearing, not steep, near the top, and they took the break there, surmising that it was some time around lunch. He set out the food, horses close, Zoe opening a book, sitting next to him, sharing the silence.
She fell asleep for a time, and so he took up watch, back against a tree, his head on her chest, a remedy for the pain and stress. Erwin had once prodded him for information on their relationship, mostly when his tongue was loosened by drinking, because his Commander was nosy. Probably the reason he was so well informed.
Levi stuck with her because she wasn't afraid of him. Not that there weren't other people that sympathized along those lines, but Zoe. Zoe could corner him, as flighty and wordless as he was, wrest intimate details from him. She uncovered the things he'd bury deep to resist feeling them, events he'd never forget, ones that would rattle her, even, pushing them away to hold onto an emotionless mask, the monotone coming along with it. All that...forcing him to be a human for once.
though one man had hardly appreciated that sentiment, supported the second school of thought. Levi was his pride.
Late in the afternoon they returned, and Levi promised her the world again.
Levi looked for her, swore she'd been right behind him, tipping finally as the inevitable realization swept through him and the others behind him, stared at the house, eyes wide, just as the group made it to where he was standing. Armin noticed her absence next, then the rest of the group did, mutters rippling, quiet, between them. He heard the scream, knew it was hers, mind running over the scenarios, knew he wasn't in condition to save her, put faith in the fact that she could talk circles around people, fight, and her position in the Military Police.
They were going to bulldoze through his family without care. Levi didn't really know who 'they' were, why 'they' had put his previous squad in danger. and a litany of other 'why?' towards fatalities.
Whoever they were, they'd grossly underestimated him.
He removed his gaze from the torch lit figures, demeanor apathetic, adjusting the weapon slung over his shoulder, pointed the group towards the nearest town, ignoring the shared desire to go back, save her. Besides, he wasn't entirely sure that she hadn't stayed back on purpose, maybe to buy them more time, reckless as usual. For the greater good, same as what Erwin would preach from his soapbox. He'd get her back, by himself, so no one could see the way he'd deal with 'them', a viable threat to humanity, no longer 13 meters.
I would've put tints on my windows, but what's the difference? if i feel like a ghost (no Swayze) ever since i lost my baby. I've had this black suit on, roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral; one more mile till the road runs out. I'm about to drive in the ocean, try to swim from something bigger than me.