[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hello everyone. Thanks and hugs to my lovely readers out there. Your kind words of support mean so much to me.

I'm incredibly nervous about this chapter. I've waited so long to write it and it was so difficult for me.

This one is dedicated to secrets87. Your review made me cry (in a good kind of way).

**Chapter 54**

The entire court thing was exhausting for me, partly because I didn't really understand everything that was happening and mainly because I couldn't do anything to suppress the unpleasant feelings in my chest. Was it angst or fear or panic? Or maybe it was a combination of all three of them.

My fingernails cut into the palms of my hand when I fisted them under the table. Keep breathing, I tried to remind myself. Breathing didn't manage to calm me down, but at least it kept me from fainting.

"Dr. Cullen," the judge started after another awkward moment of silence that only made me more aware of the ticking of the clock on the other side of the wall.

"I'm glad that you managed to have some time to talk to us today since your schedule is pretty crowded."

"Thanks, your honor, I'm just here to help my son to get custody for his only child, a child that he loves more than anything."

Zafrina cleared her throat and sipped on her glass of water in front of her before she spoke up.

"We're not claiming that Mr. Cullen doesn't love his daughter. But the issue of custody has nothing to do with love, for I assure that my client loves her child too. And she is the one that cared for said child for the last five years."

"Dr. Cullen, would you please be so kind and tell us, why you think that your grandchild shouldn't be living with your daughter-in-law anymore? Do you have any proof that she's a bad mother?"

"No, your honor, I don't."

"But you still want your son to get full custody for his daughter. Can you explain to us, why you feel that way? Don't you think that a child belongs to the mother?"

"In most cases, I would have to agree with you. But in this…rather special situation…"

"I assume by special situation you're referring to the fact that your daughter-in-law and your daughter are in a romantic relationship now?" Zafrina asked him, her voice sounding cold like ice.

"Yes, that's right. I just think that it's wrong to let the child stay with an emotionally instable mother…,"

"Your honor, the witness is making assumptions that he has no proof for at all. We on the hand have a psychological report about my client's mental status."

There was the hint of a smile in her voice when she continued.

"Page twenty-four to twenty-seven in the folder, your honor."

"Hmm,"

He opened the named pages and flipped through them. His eyes, hidden behind metal-framed glasses, read through the words over and over again

For a split second I panicked, what if Didyme had written something in the report that wouldn't sound alright to the judge, what if…

"Hmm, sounds like there is indeed no such thing as an emotional instability concerning your client, Miss Penthes."

Zafrina smiled at him, but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"It's such a pity that we can't say such a thing about the adverse party…,"

"Your honor, it's unacceptable how Miss Penthes speculates about my client's mental status. She has no proof…,"

"Mr. Masen is actually right your honor. I am speculating."

"And why are you doing that?"

"Because Mr. Cullen refused to talk to anyone professional about his mental status, but referring to the way he behaved the last time he and his wife …met, well, of course it's only an assumption."

"Assumption won't lead us to anything here, Miss Penthes."

I cringed slightly; the judge was starting to piss me off. What an arrogant asshole.

"Mr. Masen, why did your client refuse to talk to a psychologist?"

"It's not necessary. But if you want to know anything about my client's mental status - which is fine - just for the record, feel free to ask the witness."

The judge wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to his secretary. She stood up from her chair and rushed out of the room.

"Dr. Cullen, do you think that your son is mentally…how shall I say it…healthy?"

"Yes, your honor, of course he's mentally healthy."

A noise that almost sounded like a chuckle left Zafrina's throat before she spoke up.

"Dr. Cullen, do you know what perjury is, don't you?"

"Miss Penthes are you assuming that the witness is lying?"

"Yes, your honor. I don't think that the witness is unbiased. He's trying to make his son look good."

"Hmm,"

"Dr. Cullen, can you tell me why you think that your daughter-in-law shouldn't get custody for your granddaughter? Do you think that she would cause her harm or anything like that?" Zafrina asked Carlisle who kept staring at his son and back to the ground over and over again.

"No, I don't think that she would harm her."

"And what about your son, are you sure that he wouldn't harm the child?"

"Yes…" his voice trembled when he croaked out the word.

"Your honor would you allow me to show the witness the pictures on page four in the folder?"

"You may, Miss Penthes."

Slowly she walked over to the desk Carlisle was sitting behind and held the opened folder under his nose.

He inhaled sharply between his teeth and mumbled something that was too low for me to understand it.

"Are you a hundred percent sure that something like that, won't happen again, Dr. Cullen?"

Carlisle's mouth opened and closed but no words came out, his hands started trembling slightly.

"Because if it does, do you want to be the one who's responsible for it,"

"Miss Penthes, stop talking to the witness like that, we're not here because of the mental status of my client. We're here to discuss the custody claim."

"Mr. Masen, I assure you that I'm only bringing up the mental status of your client to prove that he's in no way capable of taking care of a little child."

"My client, unlike yours, is not alone." Alone, alone…damn it, I wasn't alone. I had Ali, didn't that count for anything?

"His family is going to help him raise the child and if that's not enough he could hire a nanny."

The judge took a sip from the water in front of him and sighed deeply. His secretary, the young woman with the perm entered the room again. She leaned over to him and whispered something into his ear. He nodded his head and gulped down the rest of water in his glass.

"Mr. Masen, Miss Penthes. I've decided to talk to the child myself. After all this is about her,"

"Your honor, I don't think…"

"Mr. Masen, you don't need to worry. We'll have a psychologist in here, just to make sure that the child won't get too agitated."

Then he turned to his secretary again.

"Bring the child in now. The sooner we get this over the better for all of us."

The secretary refilled the glass on his desk before she slipped out of the room.

An unpleasant feeling spread through my veins when the door opened again and a familiar honey-blond head appeared in its frame. And of all the fucking shrinks they could have chosen to come here today, it had to be her? Damn it, this day was so not mine.

"Good morning, Miss Whitlock. How are you today?"

"Fine, your honor, just fine. How's your wife?"

The judge cleared his throat and his lips twitched for a moment.

"She's fine, thank you, Miss Whitlock."

"Your honor, are you going to talk to the child here?" Edward's lawyer asked him, his voice sounding worried now.

"We'll try if it works."

The secretary entered the room followed by Lilly who was nervously biting her fingernails.

"Mommy!" she called out when she saw me and I wrapped my arms around her neck. I buried my face into the soft curls of her copper hair and I fought the urge to cry. I didn't want her to be here and the fact that she was, was clearly my fault. Well, mine and her fathers, who shifted back and forth on his chair nervously.

"Miss Swan, let go of your daughter now."

I dropped my hands and put a small wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"It's okay, sweetie," I whispered.

"The man just wants to talk to you a little bit. Are you okay with that?"

She nodded her head.

"Come here, Lilly." Jasmine instructed.

"You can sit here with me."

Slowly she walked over, her brown eyes getting huger as she scanned everything in the room. When she saw her father, she shrugged back.

"Everything is okay, Lilly. You don't need to worry." Zafrina told her and when her eyes met Jasmine's for a split second a smile flashed over her face.

"So…" the judge started and from the tone he used it was obvious that he wasn't used to talking to little children.

"Elizabeth, do you know why you are here today?"

"Because my mommy and my daddy are angry at each other,"

"Hmm, yes, that's right, kind of. Do you know why they're so angry at each other?"

"I don't know. But my daddy keeps yelling all the time and it's scaring me."

"Your honor, my client has a little problem with his temper. That doesn't make him a bad father."

"Mr. Masen, I would prefer it, if you wouldn't interrupt me while I'm talking to the child. Is that clear?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Elizabeth, do you know what a lie is?"

"When you tell something that is not true."

"That's right. And you also know that it's not right to tell lies, don't you?"

She nodded her head again and started biting her fingernails again. Jeez, I really had to do something about that habit.

"But here in court, it's way more important to tell the truth than outside. Do you think that you understand that?"

"Yes,"

"Fine, that's good. Elizabeth, can you tell me with whom you're living right now?"

"With my mommy and Auntie Ali and Fido,"

"And Fido is who? Your little brother?"

"No, he's our dog. He used to be Auntie Rosie's dog first but now he's ours."

"Hmm, I see. Do you like living with your mother and your aunt?"

"Yes, I do. And I don't want to move to Alaska."

"Alaska? What makes you think that you have to move to Alaska?"

"My grandma said that I'm going to live with my daddy in Alaska. I don't want to go there. Alaska sucks!"

"Have you been there before?"

"We went to Alaska to visit my daddy, but he didn't like it when we surprised him."

"What do you mean, he didn't like it?"

"He yelled at us and the evil witch hurt him and…,"

"Your honor, the child is obviously mixing up reality and fantasy…"

"Mr. Masen, I think that I told you to keep your mouth shut while I'm talking to the child?"

"Ahm, yes, your honor," Edward's lawyer croaked out, pulling out a tissue to wipe his sweaty forehead again.

"Elizabeth, don't you know that there are no witches?"

"But the evil witch is real. She hurt my daddy and she said that she has a key to our house."

"Your honor?"

"Yes, Miss Whitlock?"

"She's not fantasizing about the witch thing. It's just her way of expressing that she's scared of said person."

"Hmm,"

"Elizabeth, why are you scared of the… well, of that woman that you call a witch?"

"Because she ripped my hair out and she hurt my daddy, when we came to his office."

He raised one eyebrow and nibbled on the pen in his mouth.

"Mr. Cullen, can you explain to me, why she thinks that someone hurt you?"

"No, your honor, I can't…" Edward croaked out hoarsely.

"Miss Swan?"

My face turned warm and knew it had just turned into a bright crimson color.

"Miss Swan?" he repeated impatiently.

"Your honor, I don't think it's necessary to stress my client with this."

Then she cleared her throat, before she continued in a sugar sweet voice.

"Page seventeen in the folder."

"Mr. Masen, you didn't mention the fact that the child witnessed the incident with Mr. Cullen's secretary."

"We didn't think it was necessary, your honor. A five year old child is not a proper witness."

"Leave it to me to decide what a proper witness is or not, Mr. Masen."

XXXXX

I tasted something salty on my lips and when I wiped my face I realized that I was crying. It was embarrassing but I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Zafrina handed me a tissue and kneeled down next to me.

"You're doing great, Bella. Don't be afraid. Everything will be fine."

Fine? How could things be fine, ever after what happened?

"But he's been in his office with Lilly for almost an hour. What the hell is he talking to her so long?"

She put one arm on my shoulder.

"Try to stay calm, Bella. That's normal and he's not talking to her alone. You know that Jasmine is with her."

"And you know that she fucking hates me, Zafrina."

"She doesn't hate you, Bella. She just doesn't like you because…well, you know why. But she is…and if you ever going to mention it in her presence I'm going to deny it, the best shrink I've ever met. She hears more than what people say. It's like she can tell what other people feel…"

"Miss Penthes?"

"Yes?"

"Judge Caius wants to speak to you and Mr. Masen for a moment."

"Hmm, yes of course."

She stood up from her chair and when she and Edward's lawyer walked out of the room, my ex walked over to me.

A shiver of fear went down my spine.

"Isabella, don't you think that this ends here today. You are my wife and you'll stay it. I'm not going to sign the damn papers, so that you and the little bastard…,"

"Edward, stop talking to Bella like that."

"Mind your own business, dad. She's the one who messed this up, not me!"

"Lower your voice, son. You're forgetting who you are."

"Dad, you can't expect me to…,"

The judge entered the room again, the expression on his face cold and hard. Mr. Masen and Zafrina followed him and when she sat down next to me she squeezed my hand under the table.

I shoved my trembling hands into the pockets of my skirt and took a deep breathe through my opened mouth. At least I had managed to stop crying now. Or maybe I just had no more tears left right now.

I wondered how I must look like right now. My makeup was probably smeared all over my face. Not that it mattered.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan. I've made a decision about the custody. It wasn't an easy one. There are so many things to consider, because we're not only concerned about the physical but also the emotional well-being of your daughter. The rather unnatural way of life, that Miss Swan has chosen to live now…"

My hand turned into a fist in my pocket. What would they do with me, if I punched the judge straight into his face?

"…is in my opinion less fatal than the fact that Mr. Cullen indeed seems to have temper issues."

"However, I think that it's important for a child to have contact to both parents. So I decided to grand, Mr. Cullen visiting rights for every second weekend under the presence of a psychologist."

Edward's beautiful face paled slightly. I knew that he hated shrinks almost as much as I did. Or maybe even more?

"Apart from that the restraining order remains intact. Mr. Cullen, you do know what happens if you break that order again?"

He nodded his head.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, your honor, of course, I know. It won't happen. I promise."

My face turned into a grimace. What worth did a promise given by my dishonest husband have? None at all…

"Custody claim concerning the child named Elizabeth Charlotte Cullen," he read out.

"Regarding to the circumstances in this case, I've decided to give full custody for the beforehand addressed child to Miss Isabella Marie Swan."