Let me know...Do I still got time to grow? Things ain't always set in stone. That being known, let me know, Let me-(know)

Levi watched the lantern in front of him flicker, finger tapping slow on the wax stained table. His back was bowed, head propped up with one of his hands, running through a mental list of torture methods. Hanji sat down across from him, but he didn't acknowledge her, occupied enough with his conflicting interests. How he was putting humanity above Zoe, which was such a nice, nice thought, but he was placing his humanity subjacent to the overwhelming cause, as well. He thought that, in his position, Zoe would keep trudging through.

"So what are you going to do?"

Levi let his lip curl, a fairly normal reaction to Hanji talking, snapping a quick, "What?" back, just to satisfy four-eyes.

"About Zoe."

"Nothing."

"I swear, Levi. Are you human?"

"That's a silly question. Yes. Of course I am."

"Really?"

"Being with her was selfish in the first place. Involving myself, and therefore endangering her, was my mistake."

"Is she paying for it now? Or are you?

She was.

Levi waved her question away, saying, "I don't even know if she's alive."

Hanji gave a scoff, removing her glasses to give him a pointed look. "You know the answer to that."

She was alive.

Levi hated when four-eyes was right, as much hearing her call him 'little' in general. She had her value on the battlefield, but he thought she pried into his personality and background too much; he'd known her for maybe 5 years, which still didn't give her the right to ask about Zoe. He watched the squad leader clean her glasses, his nail digging into a smooth, hard, cold piece of wax by the sentient candle. Hanji stood after a few more silent minutes, the candle wavering with the loss of her presence. Levi was exhausted, sliding into sleep soon after, arms stretched over the table.

Used to pay the piper, till peter picked it better, Now the first thing you should tell is where the hell is all the paper. But memories keep coming back, All the nights that we used to laugh. Wanna know how I used to was, how I used to was. Memories keep playing back, all nights we used to love. Just wondering how we used to was; how we used to was.

| 844 |

He watched the cadets mill around, keeping to the shadows, Farlan and Isabel sticking with the current Scout Regiment group, Keith preparing to go up on stage. Keith, Pixis, and Karl, commanders of their respective military groups, would go up once the Cadets were brought to attention. Some military and garrison troops were tucked into other corners of the courtyard.

A loud sound was pulled from a brass instrument, echoing through the crowd, making them straighten, look to the small stage. With a cough, no doubt from the cold air, the attendee read the ranking list, loud despite the rattle of his voice. Zoe was first called, the nine other top ranked Cadets making neat row before the Commanders now on stage. Ten columns of cadets were made behind the row, and speeches were given by each Commander.

She walked to the Military Regiment, the guard enveloping her, hiding her from his view. And he honestly had no idea how to react, saw her cast a look over her shoulder, a tense smile over pink lips. Levi was coming slowly to terms with the fact that he might not get to see her again, let alone find himself above her. Or under. He didn't care, closing his eyes to her, replacing her with a fantasy, though relief didn't seep into it, no matter how much he willed it to.

Before he turned to follow the Survey troops from the yard, he caught sight of Farlan embracing her, squashing her and Isabel into the wide circle of his arms. The older boy ruffled her hair, her curls tossed around, though she soon brought them under control. Another, more sincere embrace came from Farlan, Isabel stepping in when he finally moved.

Farlan met Levi's eyes, beckoning him. Levi didn't want to say goodbye, really, kept his face a blank slate as he turned from her. He didn't know how he would meet his end, so why prepare for it?

| 845(before the fall) |

"Too tired to walk? Half-assed excuse, Zoe."

She gave a noise, a kerfuffle, a hand working slow in his hair, distracting him from his progress up the steps. Zoe was oddly light, especially when she wasn't expending any energy on resisting him, or talking. So he carried her up the stairs, holding her legs in place so she wasn't jostled, hoping she didn't pick up on that fatal flaw called sentiment. And love, too, because holy shit, what if she started to put faith in him? The harsher reality of him failing her would start to work at the base of their poorly established relationship, if that was what this could be called.

They were just...he was just a fuck up, trying to forget that essential fact that seemed to dictate his existence. And she was easy to keep, easy to hold, easy to kiss. He didn't want difficulty, revist the feelings she'd brought to the surface, preferring her like she was now, under the thin sheets on his bed, clothes forgotten in a heap on his floor. The rickety building let cold in far more than it held in heat, and that was his excuse for calling her over. About all he could manage.

"Why would you steal this from Hanji?" She asked, the page making noise as she flipped it, feet working at the bottom of his bed, making herself more than comfortable.

"Because I can, Zoe," he said, glancing over his shoulder, running his gaze slow over her before he pulled the shirt from his torso.

He dragged a hand quick through his hair, settling next to her, attempting to pull the little booklet from her hands, bring the attention to him. Levi didn't want to convey any desperation, but if she needed, she could hit him. As long as she interacted with him, made his existence beyond the battlefield real, made him human, just for a moment. A minute, where he didn't have to ignore empathy.

"BEcause you can doesn't mean you should," she murmured, lips close to his ear as he kissed over her collarbone.

"That's nice," he said, though it wasn't even graced with an inflection, monotone all he'd give her at the moment.

Her chuckle was quiet, hidden in seamlessly in a moan, tight little body jolting to get closer to his, and he obliged the movement by sliding his arm under, keeping her from finding the bed again. Just in case she decided to find comfort elsewhere. He didn't want that.

"Can I stay, tonight?" she asked.

"Why?" Levi leaned away, eyebrows furrowing, wondering why she was pestering him with that question.

"I'll behave," she whispered, reaching for him, pulling him in for a kiss that worked wonders for his mood. "Please."

"I guess you've got it stuck in your head anyways. May as well," he said, shrugging as his lips managed a smirk.

A spark flashed in her eyes, fire ignited by a hint of his cockiness, "Don't think that I'm doing this because I love you."

He actually laughed at that, leaning in again. She was so pretty. Levi didn't really trust her.

| early 847 |

"Shit, was that a date?" Levi asked, letting the door shut behind him, slipping the bolt into place.

"Yes, it was a rather nice one, but then, you decided to show up 20 minutes early, and then it ended," she snapped, adjusting her vest to give him a cold look over her shoulder.

He wasn't going to get used to those looks; felt like he was talking to himself, now. After he'd gone fucking hunting for the Titan that killed her brother, he couldn't even tell her that, afraid of how she might translate those actions to what they were correctly identified as. That he felt some type of way that would give her so much fucking leverage over him, that she could command him off the top of a tower, just so no one who could benefit that Levi, Captain Levi of the Survey Corps, had something else besides the whole of humanity to fight for. Levi(Captain) wasn't supposed to be divided like this.

Before her, he'd dreamed of peace. Now, he was sure he'd always be fighting to give her something better; on top of freedom for humanity. And whatever came with that. He was starting to see some sort of future, encouraged, no doubt, by his adventures beyond the cage, with the walls nothing more than relics behind them. Life here would finally be something to live.

He stepped up the few steps into the small kitchen, tossing his jacket on the table. She scoffed, bringing her eyes down to the drawer of utensils she was sifting through. Hopefully not for a knife, because he really wasn't in the mood for that. He'd really, really hoped that the norm of, 'everything is trying to kill me' would end here.

She didn't look happy, frown lines starting to form in place of those smile lines he'd mocked a long while back. Zoe wasn't dancing around the kitchen, humming to herself silly little diddies that he'd, and fuck there was a shitty constant, mocked as well. Maybe some sort of nursery rhymes, that kept those frown lines off her face. And now that they were gone, it was cold looks and cutting words from Zoe.

Or maybe she was growing up. Like he had a while back.

"Are you going to stab me with that knife, or tell my what your problem is?"

"I don't have a problem with you."

"And the knife issue?"

No response, her lips pressing tight in a white line, tipping further downwards as the silence stretched.

Levi sat down in front of his discarded jacket, propping his head up on his hand, barely moving his lips when he spoke, "Because I'm still better than you, you know?" That should really catalyze a reaction.

Zoe clenched her teeth, and she gripped something hidden by the drawer. Of course he'd die like this, if she pulled it off, which...maybe. But only slightly maybe, to make the margin of error even less critical. Still; of course he was going to die because he said something offensive to someone he shouldn't have. This someone was also coincidentally a rising star in the Military Police (if that counted for anything), and the only person he couldn't easily see himself hurting when he needed.

She came after him; not with a knife, but a spoon. Which, in his experience, wasn't a good weapon, and she had no idea how to use it. The metal bent on her second stab despite that. She'd been aiming for his leg, or his dick, but he'd edged back and opened his legs, letting the chair take the full force of her attack. IT did crack a tad.

When she moved for him again, he stopped her, hand tight around her wrist, letting her strain against him. He expected her to give soon, but she held firm, actually pushing him back. Half of his ass was off the seat when he stood up, shoved her back into the far wall, making sure there wasn't anything there to hurt her when he did.

He picked his knife from his pocket, slapping it into her hand, on top of the spoon. Levi relaxed his hold on her wrist, allowed the knife in her hand to move closer to his throat, waiting for some rationality to stop her. Zoe jolted back, yanking her hand out of his grip to discard the knife and spoon, clattering on the floor, hitting his chest with a spread hand instead. Much less fatal, at least.

She gripped his shirt tight in her fist, yanked him to and fro. Levi's hand went to her hip to root himself, unused to sallow cheekbones and cropped hair, with a look in her eyes that said she'd seen shit, and he fucking believed it now. The terror the titans brought was one he was glad excuse from the new generation, until Maria fell, and the terror revisited her. So he wrapped his arms around her tight, maybe in hopes to squeeze the images from her, help her forget. And he shouldn't have stayed away so long, allowed this kind of shift; so, so long, he forgot how she trembled in his arms at times like these.

He'd left her to wallow in tears, and that wasn't something anyone should have to go through, especially when there was something, someone, who could be there. Levi didn't think she'd leave him to do that. Guilt, such an infrequent emotion, slid down his spine, made him shake almost as hard as she was just for a moment. He held her tighter to counter it.

"Don't leave me like that," she said, fingers scrabbling against his collarbone.

"Like what?"

"Go off into certain death, turn back to me, smile, wave and believe the hero bullshit they're selling you, Levi."

"First, I'd never smile and wave, Zoe, you know this. And how annoying the population is, gawking and pointing, when being quiet is something to be treasured. The fucking instant I'm off my horse, it's a different story, mostly about how I'm short." He got a shake of laughter for that, though he could feel her tears damp on his chest. Levi was very willing to make fun of himself to isolate those 'good' shakes. "Second, I'll never believe a single thing the royal government says. Their aid programs never reached us in the underground; nothing good did. So they're nothing good. I trust people who have proved their worth, and general intelligence. Which you have."

She shook her head, but her shakes had stopped, an anxiety attack finished, probably. His chest was still damp, but her fingers had taken up a lovely pattern on his chest, swirls pressing down. Distracting; like she usually was, smaller than ever, with her cutsie curls gone, which kind of worked for him.

Zoe breathed slow, mumbling, "I missed you."

"Yea."

He heard the sigh that generally followed his brevity, a very personal code that annoyed a number of people when he held strict to it. Levi knew what she wanted to hear from him, but then, he'd turned up at her place 20 minutes before schedule, and scared that reedy blonde guy out of the townhouse. Where, admittedly, LEvi felt the man belonged, trying to cuddle close to Zoe. It almost made him sick. But still; obviously he cared.

"What are we doing?" She asked.

That drove him crazy, it really did. Such an ambiguous question that she breathed sometimes, and he didn't have the heart to answer, or consider, remaining quiet. Levi only put one thing on the shaky foundation that this world provided; that if she was still around, he'd keep her with him; hold onto the memories with her, as well, one of the last tethers to Isabel and Farlan. She'd always be his.

And for a fuzzy term, as he loved to say (Erwin had given him a speech and a visual board aid up on fuzzy terms of endearment), she'd always be his baby. Honey, darling, lovely, were all terms so sweet his teeth ached.

| late 847 |

She yanked at his shirt, buttons spraying everywhere. Very upsetting, since he knew she couldn't sow worth a damn. But it was nice to have her on him as soon as he came back, her hand dragging through his hair, nails tingling over his scalp, barely breathing properly as she kissed him hard. Maybe she was getting him back for all the bruising kisses he'd given her in the beginning.

Zoe jumped, and he caught her, as always. She should give him more credit. He had her. Always.

| late 848 |

He really hated these meetings, but the worst part of being in the capital was being in the Military Office. Made worse when Nathan brought his pale and smiling face near him, that hardly controlled prowess that granted him confidence Zoe would be lucky to feel half of. Levi was going to hold sentiment for her half of the issue, at the moment, so.

He'd meet Nathan about 2 years ago, at first somewhat impressed with his skill, and the way he carried himself around his superiors. Of course, Levi considered how he was wasting talent in the Military Police, but he'd give a bit of slack for initiative, and other Zoe like qualities (nothing physical, but he was clarifying where he didn't need to, wasn't he?). When Levi had seen how Nathan dealt with his underlings, however, his opinion had taken a normal route with Military Police; shitty human beings. Violence should be directed at the true villains; the titans. And their keepers (when he found them).

"Humanity's greatest soldier, right?" Nathan asked, as if, after 2 years of seeing Levi in the Capital for general business, he needed clarification, and a handshake.

Levi didn't stand up. Not just to avoid the embarrassment of hardly coming up to Nathan's chin, but to snub him, and his red hair. He also didn't shake his hand, or really acknowledge that Nathan had spoken. A huff came from the man, and he stepped back, revealing Zoe, short cropped hair finally growing out, pushed from her face with a couple of hair ornaments.

"Thank you for coming, Commandeer Erwin," she said, talking too fast as always, words almost bleeding together, "I'm so, so sorry for the wait, I truly hope it was of no inconvenience, and I understand that Captain Levi doesn't enjoy being at the Office."

Levi made a low noise, unsure if he was annoyed with the formal use of his name, or by the setting. "Yes. Can we move this along, Lieutenant Commander?"

"Captain."

Was she trying to pull rank on him? Because it was hardly working.

"Lieutenant Commander."

A bit too flirtatious, maybe, and he barely caught a smirk before it snaked over his lips.

"Of course," Zoe said, waving them up.

Erwin stood first, and Nathan dropped away, walking in an entirely different direction, leaving the three of them alone. They already knew where they were going, so Zoe didn't have to do any leading of sorts, Levi choosing to walk beside her, in front of Erwin, his commander acting the impartial 3rd party as he always did. The conversation was mostly him expressing his annoyance with Nathan, and Zoe rolling her eyes in response.

"He's not terrible."

"Has he seduced you as well?" he asked.

"You're so dramatic, Levi."

"I am not, Zoe."

"Yes you are, you hate the Military Police, and it's hilarious. I've never heard anyone make 'unicorn' a slur."

"Hilarious?"

She made his face, entire face falling into neutral, a fairly flat, low voice used, "I'm Levi and I hate everybody."

Erwin made a noise, and Levi looked over his shoulder, saw the blonde with a half smile. Erwin finally decided to make a vocal input to the exchange, "You're so mean to her, Levi."

"Blondie, you're not even in this conversation,"

"I think he has a point," Zoe said, tilting her chin up to give him a haughty look.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Commander. Further, towards my point, it must be difficult putting up with him. I mean, I'm not with him in the same manners you are, though Hanji would say something different, "

Levi grunted loud enough to break Erwin's sentence flow, interjecting, "shitty four eyes."

"it has to have dragged on to the point where you've wondered why you stick around."

"Well, he's a good partner."

Levi was very, very, very happy with that verdict, tossed another monotone sentence over his shoulder, "Hear that, Erwin? I'm a catch."

"I never said that."

"I'll say it for you," Levi said, catching one of her hair ornaments as it fell from her hair.

"No you won't."

He made to fix the hair back in place, but he ended up making it look bad, which was his usual result with hair that wasn't his, or hair that didn't need a straight sheering. After he'd hacked of Hanji's hair, half out of spite, and half out of lack of skill, people steered clear of asking him for cosmetic help of that persuasion. A great effect he'd brought into being.

"Opps."

"Not opps, Levi, how can you mess up a hair-clip-thingy?"

He scoffed, "You don't even know their official name name, so why are you being so judgy?"

"Because you can't set a clip."

"You were moving, Zoe, it's not like I've mastered fixing short hair along with 3D gear. I don't have that kind of time."

"Mm. What would Isabel say?"

He still hadn't told her that Isabel and Farlan were dead, and wasn't planning to, but he hardly took offense, happy for the memory. "A lot of stuff. Mainly hurtful, but then, maybe if you stopped moving I could help you out."

"We have a meeting to go to, LEvi, and you're implying procrastinating."

And it was back to their own back and forth after that, Erwin swiftly cut out of conversation. He had plenty of time to talk to his commander, but he didn't have enough time with Zoe in general, to get elbows in response to bad sentences, have a warmth more familiar than the Titans close to him. Because that was the most frequent heat, and he almost wished them present in the winter missions. When he came back to civilization with a free reign, he immediately thought of Zoe.

Now he had Zoe(even if he didn't actually have Zoe), sitting beside him in some high up meeting.

He was leaning to the side too keep up appearance, though his hand was snugly over her inner thigh, almost one hundred percent sure that she wouldn't retaliate. Levi did enjoy not being bored to hell in shitty meetings. And her actually fighting back, in sorts, was just as good. It worked better than his measures, making him so hard he couldn't sit still, an idea he'd never really accepted until her. Now. Whatever.

Levi had to hold a fucking folder over himself, making out that he needed to read this out of the room. No one wanted to argue with him, so he had her where he wanted her in the hall. Some sort of revenge, though it hardly felt like it, more a reward, her body against his for the first time in a long, long while. Maybe he was over exaggerating, but it felt like a long time.

"You really could have choice of a million better people, Zoe," he murmured, reached to catch her, pulling her to him.

His eyes swept over her face, memorizing it once more, a pale new scar over her shoulder, along with a number of sears on her abdomen that he'd never seen on a military police who didn't go outside the wall. A secret, maybe, that he was allowing himself to over think already.

"And lose such an ill-defined relationship?" She said, finding a more comfortable place on his lap. "I don't want to even consider that."

| 849 |

"I don't think I've ever had such a frustrating member, Levi. He-he constantly degrades me, and generally gives me these looks, and I can not...not fantasize about killing him," Zoe said, eyes away from his, leg shifting under the covers.

"Then tell him to fuck off."

Her head jerked up, "What?"

"Put your foot down, Zoe, and tell him to fuck off."

"...fuck off?"

"Oh, fuck, Zoe, don't say fuck off like you've never heard it before."

"I'm just saying it's unprofessional."

"And you fucking the Captain of the Survey Corps isn't?"

She stopped everything to glare at him, hand dragging her hair back, making sure he felt the force of those narrowed eyes, "Well, I like sleeping with him when he's not an ass, and telling me to do things."

"Well, I don't like Nathan either."

"Don't tell anyone what I said."

"It's pillow talk for a reason, Zoe," he said, scoffing as he sat up, looking over his shoulder. "I don't talk enough to people to give secrets away."

He really felt like she was his equivalent, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Levi watched her settle into the sheets. Zoe smiled slowly, relaxing as she turned on her side, collecting her pillow under her head. Gorgeous; even with her tousled into a bird's nest.

"Are you going to get me food, or something?" she asked, reaching for him. "I'd really like that."

Her hand moved up his arm, giving him one of her practiced, dewy eyed, please-Levi-do-this-for-me looks. "You have such entertaining fantasies, Zoe. I was just adjusting myself, because you take all the damn blankets."

"I don't need fantasies when I'm with you."

He snorted, eyes resting on the star studded sky. "Are you implying I'm the full package?"

Zoe shrugged. She drove him crazy. But he'd rather not have her anywhere else but here.

She rolled herself on top of him, hands cupping his face as she kissed him, though they soon left it to peruse his chest. Zoe eased back, hips grinding down onto him, making him regret his underwear choice. Her nails dug into his skin, and he breathed a shaky breath, hissing her name under his breath.

A smirk flashed over her face, confident now that she had him where she wanted. "How does it feel to have me like this?"

"Fuck me," he breathed, moving his hands to grasp greedily at her flesh.

"Tell me you want me," she said, as if there was any other answer but one.

Levi pushed himself up, arm wrapping tight around her waist, peppering kisses over her chest, "I want you so fucking much, Zoe. You feel so good."

Her hands passed over his arms, smoothing over his muscles before she looped her arms around the back of his neck, hips continuing that maddening rhythm against his dick. He was usually the one turning her to easily managed clay, but now, he just needed his underwear off. It was hard to focus, the sheets tangled around him as much as her legs were.

| Present |

He'd lost her, along with all the words they'd exchanged. Levi held his hair away from his face, body tensed. She was just not here anymore. At all. He wasn't going to be annoyed by her anymore, and that's what really killed him.

"Shit," he sighed, standing back from the chair, back protesting due to his sleep position. "Shit," he repeated, an octave raised, and he kicked the chair back into the wall, the wood snapping on impact. "Like hell I'll let them take her." He started towards the hall, shouting, "Hanji!"

Hanji leaned out of a side room, watching him as he stalked towards her. "What is it, little guy?"

"Shut up, four-eyes, and listen. Where do the central military police congregate?"

"Off books, they have an out post in Sina, and a couple other in less populated places, where they can keep their dealings quiet."

"Give me their locations. Can you have out contacts inside the Military Police keep an eye out for Zoe? What about some of her friends? That sad looking one, Jay, and the fucking redhead."

"They haven't been on the map for a week, I heard."

"What?"

"I can have the other ones look out, but you know we don't have a lot of allies in the MPs."

"I know. But just...do it."

"What's the magic word?"

"Shut the hell up, four-eyes, you called me little."

"I enjoy your thug vocabulary."

He glared at her, but at least the back and forth relaxed him.

I'm gonna keep that diamond in my mind. For there's hell upon the breeze, there's hell upon the breeze; Six riders ride. They say I must be the devil's child. And the hell upon the breeze; Six riders ride. And all my days I been the losin' kind. And the hell upon the breeze. Love, it ain't mine

AN (going crazy with the flashbacks, as I analyze the uprising arc and put it into this story)