Teddy and Family

Chapter 30

A/N: I know that it's been forever and I'm really, truly, sorry about that, but the muses stopped talking and my laptop revolted. I can't write without both and thank the goddess that both are with me again in time for another round of writing Camp! Cross your fingers that tech likes me again! Any and all mistakes area all mine! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: EL James and sometimes SMeyer (I love to play with her characters but with my AU spin on them from my other story. Sorry folks I don't do Cannon ever. Like, Love it, Hate it…you have been warned ^^) own it all I'm just having fun with the characters, but the OC ones and story ideas are all mine

Ana

I'm loading up on theater snacks. One because I'm starving. Two because what's a movie without snacks. Three I need an excuse to load up on straws and napkins both key necessities when creating and distributing spit balls at projectiles. I'm here under extreme duress, but a promise is a promise so...might as well make it worth having to watch Jamie and DJ doing the nasty on the big screen.

"Did you get enough?" Logan snarks, as I load him up with my snacks.

"Nah, I think she left out the Dill pickles." Luke's carrying the popcorn and pop.

"I'm starving!" I growl.

Between us Bella and I are loaded down with nachos, soft pretzels, pizza, and hotdogs. "It's for Bella, me, and you two bottomless pits to share. And just no to the pickles! Yes, I craved them like crazy with the babies, but I detest them and blame that craving on Chris, who can eat a whole jar by himself in one sitting!"

"Edward's the same way with the pickles. Now as for all of these snacks, well, it's the norm to pig out on junk food while watching a movie." Bella growls and the guys wisely shut up.

"Where are we sitting anyway?" I grumble.

"I know how you hate sitting up in the very front rows, but this is a fucking security nightmare…" Luke braces for me to let loose on him about the seating choice, but this is beyond ideal for targeting the big screen during scenes that make me physically ill. If they don't like it or my snarking, well, tough shit I'll buy the theater and they'll have to deal. Besides, it's only a matter of time before this poor old girl is sold and I love preserving historic buildings like this one.

"We tried to have them delay the showing to the fans until you've both finished watching it, but they feared that it would start a riot, so that was a no go. The compromise was clearing out the front rows to ensure that the two of you weren't harassed or bothered by the other patrons while sitting through the movie." Logan was also in placate little sister mode, but this falls right in with my plans, so I nod and follow the two of them inside the still empty theater.

"That's all well and good guys, but what about cellphones? The last thing we both need or want is to be harassed by fans taking photos of us or begging us for a selfie with them." Bella narrows her darkening chocolate brown eyes at them.

"They're getting the list of dos and don'ts and what will happen if they don't abide by the rules before they even enter the theater and have to sign an ironclad NDA. No exceptions. Cellphones are high on the list of don'ts." Luke gulps as we're led to our seats with signs indicating our names on them.

Bella's not reining it in at all. Thank goodness that fangs seem to be a myth in vampire lore or Luke would be wetting himself right now. Logan on the other hands doesn't seem the least bit nervous that we have an irritable immortal among us. Then again he's always been good with everything weird. Luke's the skittish one among the guys when it comes to the unexplained, even though he's seen more than enough weird crap through the years it still spooks the shit out of him.

"If they try to access social media with them they'll find that they won't have a signal." Logan reassures us both.

"Barney's favorite little toy never leave home without it." I grin at them as I settle myself into my seat, rolling my eyes when Logan sets a plush little foot stool in front of it. "I'm fine…"

"You're not fine. A hairline fracture is not fine. You've been torturing that ankle all day and need put it up for a while. Sabine wanted to put it in a soft cast just to be safe, but I knew that you would have flipped if you'd have woken up with that on your ankle, so I told her that I'd make you take it easy on it." Bella rolls her eyes, snorting under her breath.

"It was wrapped up for the better part of the day and you can't wear these booties with a bandaged ankle. Besides, if Chris would have seen it then he would have gone into protective mode major and started carrying me everywhere and that's so embarrassing!" I wisely don't press my luck with my pissed off immortal cousin and prop up my tender foot on the stool.

"Who do you think ordered that they have a stool to set your foot up on?" Logan smirked down at me as he handed off my take of junk food heaven.

"That link that the two of you share knows no bounds. He knows when you're hurt or did that conveniently slip you mind? You're lucky that he's too chicken shit to deny you anything right now or getting checked out at the nearest ER you would be. Not that I blame him after the deep freeze that you've had him suffering through over Teddy's new life sized tub toy. Chris didn't have a choice about the new ship and instead of throwing his son to the wolves he took all the heat for it." Luke glowers down at me.

"I know…" I blow out a breath. Gritting my teeth. "And we talked about it before you left on the eyesore. We were okay again or getting there and I know that coming here without my shadows was wrong, but I had to do what was best for my Company. Not that it really mattered in the end, seeing as everyone attending is sicker than sick with Noro. In my defense though my shadow waiting for me at the airport went postal on me and that's the reason why I hurt my ankle and bruised my backside to resemble a ripening blueberry. I honestly thought that Andrea had alerted Sam about my impending arrival, so that's why I didn't text her with the deets."

"She wasn't of the right mindset to text anyone before we left..." Bella quips.

"Baby sister, what is the rule about you and drinking alcohol…"

"Twenty four years old and mother of four, fudge off, Logan." I hiss.

"You went on a spending spree and bought up a gated community in Florida…."

"Teddy was going through a Mouse phase…Kate and Mia egged me on to do shots…" I grumble in my defense. "It's not like we can go anywhere without having a secure fortress to stay in and Chris and I had gone rounds that afternoon because I wanted a normal family vacation just the three of us…He vetoed that so I came up with a solution that allowed us to take Teddy to see Mickey. They were basically used for rentals to begin with it's not like I made anyone homeless. I more than compensated them for any missed income. It's a favorite getaway for the family too."

"You mooned the dean…"

"Again Kate and Mia and the dean was a jackass…" I roll my eyes and take a bite of my hotdog.

"You made a CEO S.I.N.G. at the MET Gala…"

"He's a predator. A wannabe Dom and deserved that and more…the champagne was vintage and yummy…Chris did something far worse than that he bankrupted the bastard…his kids aren't any better either."

"You put itching powder in the workout gear of…"

"That was DJ, Kate, and Mia…not that the reality star bitch and her clique didn't deserve worse. It was a charity event not a photo opportunity to see whose tits could be flashed at the paps first! Her and her strumpets only show up at anything for the publicity not to support the cause! Anything to land being the lead story on E or TMZ! The bitch tried to put the moves on Christian…" I hiss as that not so happy memory flashes in my mind as if it happened hours ago.

"She and those bitches spent over a week in the hospital trying to find out the cause of her situation…it was a lot more than itching powder…" Logan smirked.

"I got it from some new age shop in Port Angeles. All it had on the bottle was "Annoying pest control'. Then the instructions were 'for when words just aren't enough' or something along those lines. I kept it in my go bag for just that kind of situation when the starlets and reality show princesses drew on my last nerve or went after my man again. And as for my being drunk at the time I had one tiny sip of whatever DJ had…I was eighteen not twenty-one and it was an event held by GEH and GP! The bitch is lucky that she got that instead of me scalping her bald and sending her to Intensive Care…"

"Ana…" Bella put her hand on my arm. "Don't…they aren't worth the air that it takes to even say their names..." She narrows her nearly black eyes at both Logan and Luke. "Enough, picking on Ana." She growls, flashing razer sharp perfectly white teeth.

"Yeah, yeah…" Luke took several steps back, his hands up in a placating manor. "I'll, uh, go police the arrivals." He wisely bolts for safety.

"Bloody, pansy." Logan rolled his eyes in disgust. "Behave, Bella. He's gonna have to go change his drawers if you don't rein it in."

"But…" Bella's sulking now, arms folded across her chest, lip out in a full pout.

Wow, even Bella isn't immune to Logan's big brother glare and scolding's.

"He was only teasing our baby sister…we both were…so flashing that lethal smile was overkill."

"Its fine, Bella. I screwed up and they're pissed at me. Protocol is set for a reason…"

"Unlike you, our baby sister isn't impervious to harm…" Logan was making sure that my foot was properly elevated and that I was comfortable enough to sit through this farce. He goes to take off the bootie and I stop him because one visible wince and I'll be spirited off to the nearest ER to get it thoroughly looked over.

"It's fine. Paul even checked it before they fled the country for their lives…" I lie through my teeth. There is no way on this planet that I'm gonna subject myself to an ER when there's Noro running rampant in the city. Private hospital or not. I can wait until I get home.

The most ear splitting screech echoes from outside the theater doors.

"Oh, hell no! Not that bitch!" I snarl under my breath.

"I'm gonna tell my Daddy about this! NDA! The hell you're going to take my phone! Who the hell is in there the fucking Queen of England?!" Kimber Lloyds the most annoying socialite princess brat on the East Coast is throwing the mother of all tantrums.

The bitch shouldn't even be here! She's on the proscribed list for who will never be allowed to be anywhere near Chris or my presence. The bitch stalked Chris. Sent him unmentionables, videos, and photos for months! It was annoying until she threatened me while I was carrying Teddy. We had to get a restraining order and even that didn't deter her until Chris bankrupted her Daddy for refusing to rein in his brat, well, that and trying to grab my ass during the MET Gala. She's obsessed with Christian. I should have known that she'd be chomping at the bit to be able to be the first to see this farce!

Luke tries to block her and the bitch sprays pepper spray in his face. "Fuck! Even with protective contacts that shit stings!" He grabs her by the arm.

"Get out of my way you big goon! I was personally invited to see this special showing and I will be damned if I'm gonna be treated like this!" She proceeds to knee him in the balls and down he goes.

"Stay in that chair!" Logan shoots me his best don't defy me glare and then heads off to contain the walking Barbie doll. All the while barking orders into the tiny microphone on his cufflink.

I've never met her in person. I've only seen her fake attributes via the visuals that she sent along with her crazy, psycho, emails. She tried to make herself into me?! Impossible really seeing as I'm tall and she's like barely five feet if that, but like I said psycho crazy bitch. She arranged for plastic surgery to make her face look similar to mine. Grace found out and lets just say that every reputable surgeon in the US and beyond told her not happening, so she went to Hong Kong to get it done I think and it didn't go very well for her. Ethics do not come into play when it comes to my safety. She had it corrected for the most part, but now she looks like a wannabe Barbie doll. She'll pass for pretty I guess, but it's taking tons of makeup to create even that appearance.

"What in the name of Mab happened to her face?!" Bella gasps, eyes wide as she takes in our intruder. "Don't get me started on the boobs or her ass…it's bigger than she who will not be named! Is that even possible!? I mean she looks like a badly designed Barbie doll! It hurts my eyes just to look at her."

"Is that them! Who do they fucking think they are Beyoncé?! Get the fuck out of my way!" Kimber's screech could easily shatter glass.

Logan's blocking her path to us and I can see Hudson and Frankie coming down the aisle to assist him. "No, Miss Lloyds not Beyoncé. Now reverse your fat fake ass back up that aisle or you'll be carted out of here by force." He snarls down at the female trying desperately to move the immovable object in her path.

"How dare you treat me like this! Do you know who my father is! He knows the Commissioner! The mayor! The governor!" She spits like a wild alley cat and he wipes some of it off his face.

Gross! She could be contagious of something! He's gonna need shots!

"Logan do you have all your shots up to date!? Who knows where that thing has been?!" I call out.

Sorry, just couldn't resist.

"Why you bitch!" Kimber screeches so loudly that poor Bella has to cover her ears.

"Did you actually pay to look like that?" I snark back.

"SIM's called not even they want to use your likeness for their next game!" Bella adds cheekily. "By the goddess, was the original work so bad that not even corrective surgery could fix what was so clearly botched up the first time? Seriously, you look and sound like a badly drawn anime character!"

Frankie and Hudson are turning purple from trying to keep in their laughter and I know that Logan is biting his cheek to keep his at bay.

"That's enough, ladies." Logan tries to keep the laughter out of his tone, but he's failing badly. "You've more than made your point." He turns to shoot us a cool it look.

Kimber uses that distraction to bolt down a row of theater seats to evade her captures and confront us. "You bitches are so fucking dead!"

Gotta hand it to her she's pretty fast on those tiny little legs and in hooker heels no less. Not gonna save her sorry ass, seeing as she just threatened us in front of two NYPD officers.

It's game on Bitch!

The stool goes flying. Ankle be damned! I've been dying to do this for years! I stand up to my full height and with heels that's over six feet seeing as I'm Five nine and change.

"YOU!" She seethes in fury and lunges at me. Claws ready to attack. I easily send her sprawling on her ass.

Did I say sprawling? I meant bouncing. Sorry, my bad.

"You do know that you're violating the restraining order just by standing in this theater, right?" Bella calmly remains seated and is enjoying the preshow.

"Bella, that's cruel. You know that she doesn't have one active brain cell in her fake plastic body." I chide as I easily block her attempts of hitting me. More like pathetic swatting. She makes a grab for my hair and I catch her wrist with my hand, send her twisting around, and wrench her arm brutally behind her back.

No one goes for my hair.

"Playtimes over, bitch." I have her whimpering and wailing on her knees because Miss Kimber is delicate and I wasn't even trying to be careful. Her shoulder needs realigned and that dainty little wrist may or may not be broken. She'll need new extensions too as I am being brutal with the hold I have on her hair.

"I'm gonna press charges for assault! My Daddy will sue you for everything you have!" She wails when I literally rip off some of her extensions because she tried to wriggle free.

"Stop thinking before you hurt yourself! You assaulted Ana! You are in violation of a restraining order! You are the one going to jail! Dimwit! Those two gentleman are undercover NYPD officers who were assigned to our protection detail! Both of whom are gonna haul your plastic ass off and there is nothing that your pervert Daddy can do about it. Christian and my husband will take great pleasure in taking down your father again and this time he won't recover. There will be no one insane enough to bail him out. Cullen and Grey the mere thought that the two of them are now like brothers instead of enemies is sending shockwaves across the corporate universe. Oh, well, that and the fact that Christian is the heir to the Walker-James Empire is more than enough to keep anyone from ever doing business with your father or any member of your family again. All because his little princess is an insane psycho bitch." Bella none to gently takes a hold of her hair to lift her face so that she's looking at her and oops there goes another hunk of extension down the drain.

"Then again her father is a psycho perverted wannabe Dom, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Daddy dearest is in it deep with the Feds for being a member of the defunct Black Lotus Society here on the East Coast. Looks like most of your family will be spending time behind concrete walls, steel bars, and tall barbwire electrified fencing." Logan growls darkly down at Kimber before turning the Ana whisperer tone on me. "Ana, let the bitch go, so that the fellas here can take her off to the pound."

"I'm pressing charges." I hiss and send her sprawling with a swift kick to her padded fake ass. "Attack with deadly intent to harm comes to mind and Sawyer is too for that kick to the balls and getting pepper sprayed for doing his job." I sneer down at the pathetic whimpering creature when a couple of baggies of pretty white powder and a little kit come spilling out of her designer jumpsuit pockets. "Lots and lots of charges!"

Hudson happily recites her Maranda rights and none to gently drag's her wailing pathetic body out of sight through the exit doors.

"I recorded it all with my phone." Logan's always prepared for anything. He produces, believe it or not, a plastic baggie from his pocket and used his handkerchief to pick up and bag the items on the floor for Frankie.

"So did I, but send me a copy of that so that I can enter that into evidence as well…" Frankie grins and takes the items in question from him.

"Already done and I'll want yours as well..." Logan's phone alerts him to an incoming call. "Christ… that bloody link that you share with Chris knows no bounds." He eyes his phone like it's a live grenade and lets it go to voice mail.

"I just can't wait to be King?!" Bella can't help it and bursts out laughing.

"Seriously?!" I gasp, as I'm laughing so hard. "Simba!?" I lose my balance and plop back down into my chair howling with laughter. "Oh, goddess, I forgot that you nicknamed him that when we were kids!"

"Well, it does kinda fit. He's now one of the main Kings of the corporate universe and before that he was one of the princes of Seattle." Frankie manages through bouts of roaring laughter.

All the while the ringtone blares on. My Chris is probably ready to take on Edward to get to me.

"It's a private joke…" This time the ringtone is different but no less fitting. The theme from Bram Stoker's Dracula. "Shit! Cullen!" Now that one he wisely answers. "They're both fine…"

"I had to put Chris into a sleeper hold again, so no I seriously doubt that anything that occurred a few minutes ago in that theater was anything but fine." Edward's voice snarls menacingly from the phone.

"Lion, we're fine!" Bella gasps out breathlessly from all the laughter.

"Isabella Marie, gasping for air is far from…"

"From laughing…" She cuts off his rant.

"What the devil is so amusing about having to defend..."

"We're both fine. Kimber is on her way to a lengthy stay at Rikers. Ana didn't even break a nail. We were laughing at Logan's Ringtone for Christian…"

"So that's why you were thinking about one of the songs from The Lion King…it does fit…what was the one chosen for mine?" He's chuckling now that he knows all is well.

"Bram Stoker's Dracula…" I chime in.

"I don't know whether to be amused or insulted…" Edward growls.

"I chose it mainly because you live on 1897 Bram Stoker Drive…" Logan found his balls again and speaks up.

"Amused then…" Now he's chuckling. "I suppose that's fitting as well…"

"Is Chris alright?" It finally hits me that Edward had to put my guy into a sleeper hold again and I bite my lip.

"He's fine…and wants to talk to Ana…"

"Baby…" Chris croaks out hoarsely.

"I'm fine, Chris. Not a scratch. Kimber is the one in need of an ER…" I croon soothingly.

"She fucking attacked you?!" He's slowly finding his roar again.

"Tried…Luke got it worse than I did…she pepper sprayed him and then kneed him in the balls…"

"Logan…"

"I sent him to get his eyes checked out and his groin as the bitch had boney chicken legs and you can't be too careful when it comes to…"

"Fine…he went to get checked out…no need to paint a visual…" Chris cuts him off.

"Baby sister and Bella scalped her but not before dislocating her shoulder and breaking her wrist when Kimber went for her hair. After that Ana was done playing and got serious. She's on her way to booking as we speak. Check your email. You'll see a play-by-play of the cat fight. From two angles. Frankie captured it too."

"Ana, no more roughhousing. You sit your pretty little tail feathers down in that chair and stay off that ankle."

"It's fine. Not even a twinge of pain to be had…" I lie through my teeth, its fudging throbbing like a bitch. These boots aren't even close to being ankle brace material. What material there is being lace with a zipper in back. A promise is a promise though and he'll veto watching this farce and rush me to the ER for a through looking over.

"Our link defies any and all lies. My ankle is aching like a toothache and I haven't done anything to cause it…" He growls.

"I have a comfy little stool. My ankle is elevated. It will keep until this farce of a movie is over. By then I might have to have my eyes bleached and my memory altered. What I wouldn't give for that little MIB gadget right now or Obliviate would even be welcome, because this is by far something that I don't ever wish to remember. Watching your older siblings getting it on and with Kinky fuckery added to the mix is the worst torcher imaginable and add that I'll never be able to forget it and you've got hell. I have to give an honest review on the thing and that means that I can't drown it out with earbuds or wear a blindfold during those scenes. Papa K owes me for eternity for this favor." I was going for soothing my tiger, but then bitch Ana had to have her say.

"Ana, I can always have Logan stay there and then he can provide you with…"

"No, I promised Papa K that I would do this and he's seriously ill…I'll suck it up and watch it…you'll be bailing both Bella and me out of Jail if any other fans get up in our faces or even mention either of you in any context. We've both surpassed or limit."

"They've all willingly signed an NDA and been read the rules about leaving you two be. Most of them have been here all day or longer so they know that the two of you are here. They're all just dying to get their fix and are willing to do just about anything to see it first. It helped that Jamie, Edward, and I read them the rules and Edward and I handed them the NDA and the pens to sign them…"

"That explains willingly…" Bella and I both snarl under our breaths.

"Your security comes first or any discomfort from being fawned at by rabid fans…anything to keep the peace." Edward placates.

"No one touched us. No autographs. No selfies. Just laying down the ground rules that's all. Retract your claws." Chris croons.

"We'll see you after the movie. Oh, and if you could ferret out a magic wielder that can cast Obliviate on us that'd be great too! Love you, Tiger."

"We're just across the street and the Limo is first in line. We'll collect you the second it's over. Now as for the other request that's way and I do mean way above my ability to grant. Love you, baby."

"Love you, Lion." Bella croons to her guy.

"Love you, my treasure." Edward purrs back,

"Bye!" We both call and Logan hangs up.

"Mrs. Grey, Mrs. Cullen," A man in a tux strides down the aisle towards us. "We are so sorry about Miss Lloyds and are more than willing to screen the movie with just the two of you first and then…"

"No, it's fine as long as they follow the rules to the letter. Let them in to get their fix…" I force a smile at the older frazzled gentleman looking at us with a desperate don't sue me face. Don't worry your little head. I'm not gonna sue this place. I'm going to buy it and preserve it for all time. I might even renovate it and change it into a theater of the arts again. I'll have to see what Gwen thinks when I run my idea by her.

The man races back up the aisle and heads back out through the doors.

"Ana, it might go a long way to calming the masses if you and Bella both stand and…" Logan arches a brow.

"Address the masses?" Bella arches a brow.

I roll my eyes.

"If it would speed this along then fine…"

The theater doors open and in piles the eager fans for their fix. Many of them are clutching their autographed copies of the series in their arms. The din of noise is unimaginable and I thought the kids were loud when they were hyped up on sugar. That's nothing compared to a theater of females salivating to get their first taste of their dream hunk on screen.

There are a few who are jonesing for the front rows, but it's roped off with velvet ropes. None of them are even paying that much attention to the two of us. Though, there are a lot of mutterings about their phones not getting any service and I can't help but smirk loving that Barney's gadget never fails.

"See! I told you that they were in here!"

"No wonder their yummy husbands personally were the ones to hand out those NDA's"

"Not that I minded signing it!"

"Girl! I about nearly lost my mind!"

"All three at the same time!"

"You said it, honey! I've got enough to fuel my fantasies for years!"

That has Bella and me gritting our teeth, but I take a deep calming breath. Count to ten three times and then out comes CEO Ana out to play.

"While I can more than understand how flustered all of you ladies are after meeting our husbands that's where it ends. Each and every one of your eager faces and voices was recorded for future reference as well as your handwriting…There will not be another crazy psycho stalker bitch troll going after our men. There will not be any risqué photos, videos, unmentionables, or pleas for them to divorce us and marry you sent to our men. From any of you. Your phones are offline. Your video glasses that you're using to bootleg the movie, yeah, sorry that's not happening either. I am gonna heckle, laugh, and sneer loudly at the screen and at times even shoot projectiles at it. If you don't like it then there's the door and I'll be happy to pay for a second screening tonight." I point regally in the direction of the closed theater doors.

That got me huffy bitchy glares. Oh, I'm just getting warmed up, bitches.

"I'm Anastasia Steele-Grey and like my husband is prone to say a lot I don't give a flying fuck if you like it or not! This farce isn't about us! It's all fantasy and lies! You're lucky as hell that it even got to print! That legal bullshit disclaimer saved her sorry ass from losing every dime that she had! Fifty does not exist! The Playroom is just that our kids area to play! Ana Steele, meek little weakling, does not exist! I'm not little and I sure as hell am not meek! I have had it with everyone thinking that they can live their fantasies through us! We are not them! We will name our kids whatever the fuck we wish to and none of you have any say! It's our lives not yours and it never will be! We are just very successful at what we do! And have been busting our asses to achieve it since our teens! Sorry if this is harsh, but all of this fucking obsessed fan crap being sent to us needs to stop! If you want to play a part in something monumentally important in our lives then visit the website and choose a charity to donate or volunteer to. We never see any of it and the more you send the better chance you'll be receiving a letter from our lawyers. Security rifles through all the tripe and deals with it in case we need it for evidence. Chris has never watched a video. He's never looked at the photos. Read your letters. Proposals. Emails. Not one gift. Nothing has ever made it across his desk or onto his computer."

"Why are you even here?!"

I was waiting for that.

"Eamon Kavanagh asked me to do him this favor of guest reviewing the movie for him. He's hospitalized with Noro. He's one of my surrogate dads, so I couldn't leave him in a lurch. I am not here because I want to watch two of my close friends, more like surrogate siblings, getting their kink on…"

"It's all harmless and not hurting anyone…" Someone grumbles.

I zero in on the face, as the lights are still on, and she's maybe twenty feet from us. "Shelia Preston. You work as a personal shopper at Macy's. Your boyfriend works in accounting at GEH New York. It's not harmless fun and I'd love to see how you react to having someone flash their tits or lady garden on a video and send it to your man with a love letter and used panties declaring their undying love. Begging him to ditch you…Maybe, I'll just send that video Barney has on file and the photos too and email it to him with all of your emails. Would you like that, Miss Preston?"

She's gaping at me like a fish gasping for water and her eyes are as wide as saucers. "That's…invasion of privacy…!" She sputters in outrage.

"No that's what happens after three strikes! You're on our special wall of fangirl fame! Many of the faces here in this very theater are in fact on that wall of desperation! Once is harmless! Twice they feel sorry for you! Three times and they run a full Background check and you've made the wall! I've memorized every single face on that wall! Consider this your last and final warning! All you're doing is making fools out of yourselves, so just stop! We're soulmates nothing undermines that ever. Go find your own."

"That goes triple for me! Seeing as you panting hussies targeted my man first! It's only because Chris and Ana look like our doppelgangers that EL chose to take aim on their lives with her rework erotica. I knew writing Singer Saga that I'd be putting myself in the limelight and was more than prepared for the fallout from that and the same goes for Ana and Chris when they took the corporate and publishing worlds by storm before they even turned eighteen. However, neither one of them asked someone to spin a kinky erotica trilogy using them and their families as the star players nor did they wish to endure the pandemonium that followed its success. We get that you might think that acting on your envy and lust is harmless, but it's not." Bella snarls out her peace.

"Far from it. It's seen as an attack by those that you covet in your fantasies and you're put on a watch list. We do our best to ensure that they never meet any of those faces on that wall. But situations like the event tonight make that near to impossible, but that's where the rules, the Wi-Fi and tech jammer, and NDA come into play." Logan folds his arms across his massive chest and shoots them all his badass glare.

"We'll have to pay 50 million dollars!" Someone's finally reading what they so willingly signed and it's hitting home.

"No way!" The others whip out their copies and gasps and cries echo throughout the theater. This place has excellent acoustics, maybe I will convert this into a working theater again. Seriously, you can hear all the way to the back seats.

"They'll sue us too!?" Another wail.

Someone was thinking of banking a deal with one of the tabloids.

"You know. I'm seriously disappointed in all of you ladies. Clearly, none of you read the books. What was Grey's rule of thumb about any documents?" I shake my head, rolling my eyes at these pathetic females that were helplessly dazzled by our demigods.

"Never sign anything unless you read it first?" Bella smirked, highly amused. "In their defense they didn't stand a chance in hell of being able to withstand three demigods and their dazzling presences."

"If you need me to spell out what happens if you break that NDA and head off to sell your story or speak one word to anyone of how Bella and Ana are bitches or jealous of all the attention that their husbands draw? Let's just say that we will go after each and every one who breaks it and enact every penalty stated on the document that you so willingly signed. You will be sued to within an inch of your lives." Logan fixed his glare on over a dozen wall of desperation members.

"We're not jealous nor are we Bitches. We're just two women who are fed up with all the desperate females panting after our husbands. We're tired of the snotty comments about what we name our kids. Truthfully, Granny T was relieved that we didn't saddle Ari with her name. She's always loved Ella's given name and was thrilled that we chose to carry it on. Chris chose Aurora and Alex is just Chris's name reversed. Like I said. There's the door don't let it hit you on the way out, you can see it after we do."

Logan looks down at his phone and calls out a lengthy list of names. "Please, gather your crap and take a seat outside in the lobby. You can watch it after Ana and Bella are finished and safely out of the theater. Barney flagged you as being on the obsessed list."

The females in question, faces flaming red with embarrassment at being called out as super stalker kinky bitches. Glared daggers at Logan and left the theater in a snit, because the remaining women are jeering at them and calling them not so nice names as they make their way out. The second they leave everyone starts applauding.

"We don't wanna ruin this for you, really we don't. So all of you can get your fix twice and that way if our snarky remarks and actions piss you off you'll still get to experience it in all it's kinky glory after Bella and I bolt for the ladies room to throw up and then go in search of somewhere where we can get our eyes bleached and our memories of this farce wiped from our brains." I grin at all of the fifty fangirls. "That's if you wanna see it…"

They all scream, "Hell! Yes!"

Bella and I giggle. "Let's do this then!"