Walls telling me they full of pain, resentment, need someone to live in them just to relieve tension. Me? I'm just a tenant. My lord said these walls vacant more than a minute. These walls are vulnerable, exclamation; Interior pink, color coordinated; I interrogated every nook and cranny, I mean it's still amazing before they couldn't stand me. These walls want to cry tears, these walls happier when I'm here, these walls never could hold up, everytime I come around demolition might crush.
Zoe surfaced, and stopped seeing the world from the bottom of a well, images no longer distorted, voices far away. She called for Levi, voice feeling scratchy as she fought to regain some purchase in the crash of images from her nightmare. The one where she had battled Levi and his team; where she'd...forgotten him, and couldn't see him anymore. Levi bent, lowering his face to hers, eyes flickering over her face, waiting for her to say something.
She shifted slightly, straining under an invisible weight, limbs heavy as she struggled to use them properly. Zoe wanted to reach for him, do something that would ease the concern in his eyes, mirrored in everyone's that stood near him, peering at her from their vantage points. She'd rather be alone with him, somewhere she could panic without worrying what others thought about her, even if she'd been near them for a good month, and their lack of general importance in her life. But at least she had her panicked stream of consciousness back, the crushing self doubt that threatened to floor her again.
He finally spoke, voice low as if to tell her a secret, "Is it you?"
"Yea." she clung to the first clear sound of his voice in weeks, nodding her head.
His lips twitched, smile tugging at the corner of them. "Yea?"
She wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his neck, disregarding the fact that this was no doubt a bad time. Zoe always picked the worst times, she knew, but right now, she needed him against her. Zoe breathed him in deep, grateful he was close to her again, or at least, where she had control. She'd felt like a marionette, moving on strings she couldn't control. Her breath rattled from her lungs now, and pulled away from him to gather her emotions. The way she held herself now was odd, barely kneeling with her back hunched, but she didn't mind how she looked, only how secure she was feeling at the moment.
Zoe could breath again, yes; she wasn't drowning anymore, as she had struggled to a surface that never seemed to be there. Still, she was shaken by the lack of agency that'd occupied the past week, and the troubling images the greeted her. He dropped to his knee, alone among his seemingly preoccupied squad members, Hanji standing close by, providing answers to the questions the children doled out.
"Are you okay?" he murmured, eyes searching her face.
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay."
He held out his hand, gripped her elbow when she held out her arm, pulling her off the ground with some force. Levi kept his hand in her elbow, pulling her far off to the side, where she could hardly hear the other's conversations.
"I can remember everything they did to me before they drugged me," she said, body wracked with shakes as she allowed her nerves to take her, "I can't-They put me in a room with snakes, Levi, you know I can't do snakes, and then they fucked up-fucked up my ears." Zoe moved a trembling hand to her ear, allowed him to see the barely healed over areas. "They almost drowned me, Levi, and they screwed with Jay and Nathan." She leaned against the tree behind her. "Fuck," she cursed. "It was the worst because of that. They're my soldiers, and I wasn't able to protect them. I have to find them, Levi, and give them that antidote."
She made to walk away, not really knowing where she was headed, and he reached for her, spun her back to him. "Hey, where are you going?"
"To find them."
"Zoe, you can't do that right now. Kenny the Ripper, or what ever silly Captain title he's masquerading under, is still out there," he said, reeling her back in, holding her away by her shoulders. "Look at me right now. Now."
Zoe made a strong attempt to avoid his eyes, eventually allowing herself to make eye contact. She knew it was somewhat childish, but she didn't like the way the conversation was going. She owed something to Jay and Nathan, even if that debt was small when it came to Nathan. Jay on the other hand was...she couldn't leave him brainwashed like she had been. No one in his life cared for him as much as Levi did her, so she'd fill in right now.
"Levi, they need me."
"No, right now, you need to get better."
"I'm going to have a meltdown either way, Levi, and not knowing they're safe is going to make it worse."
"Fine. Fine, if that's what you have to do, then fine. We have to let Hanji collect information and weapons to fit a strategy so we can find Eren, but I think they're going to be at one of the Military Police compounds, and she's going to check as many as she can. Did they remain on your squad?"
"No, Kenny," she began, pressing two fingers to her temple, pain searing through her body at the attempt of bringing back memories. "He left them be on some odd orders, made them stay back because their memory manipulation was breaking at the seams."
"How did you notice the effect wore out?"
"They, or at least Jay from what I can remember, used my real name, and Kenny didn't let them stay a second longer. I don't know what they were planning on using me for, why I was more important to Kenny Ackerman."
"You're a talented fighter, it's fairly obvious in those terms."
"I think he was going to use me to lure you in."
"Makes sense. I'm sorry I've put a target on your head."
Zoe grimaced, nodding as she spoke, "It's not as if our relationship is intensely guarded."
"I think it is; who have you told?" Levi asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"For the people who've guessed it; Erwin, Sjeh, my nephew, and Hanji. I've told Jay directly, and Nathan knows because of you, mostly. Everyone in the MPs believes that we're not together, just two crackpots with defined morals. You know we keep it quiet for the most part; we did enough sneaking around in the beginning, I'd like to believe it actually counted for something."
"They missed the loud sex? You're not good at keeping quiet most of the time."
She reached out to shove him away, Levi barely rocking back on his heels, staying mostly stationary. His expression really didn't change, but his eyes were unusually gentle, brow no longer wrinkled in annoyance.
Silence rose up briefly between them before Levi sighed heavy, hand sliding quick over the back of his neck. "So, Nathan and Jay, you want to help them?"
"Yes."
"You're going to be the death of me," he started, sounding for all the world older than he was, "but, I suppose I could help. Make it all faster."
She hesitated before she spoke, "...Can you spare the time? I have an idea of what happened, but isn't helping me not a good idea?"
"If we hurry along the extensive operation at the compounds, I think we can pull it off. But you have to leave when I tell you. We can't waste anytime."
"I can do it alone."
"You can't linger anywhere. Do you know what just happened?"
She shook her head.
"Erwin and the rest pulled an uprising. Shit's out the window now, and you can't step in it," Levi said, brow heavy.
"And what about them? What if they-Levi I cannot handle the idea of my men taking any sort of torture that I might've been able to save them from."
"You can't save everyone, Zoe," he said, glaring at the ground now, foot tapping on the loose soil. He'd put space between them, hand on his hip. "They're just two people."
"Jay is one of my only friends, always has been. Nathan and I don't mesh well, but those two have gotten me out of binds in situations similar to Trost District's. I still owe them something, don't I?"
He sighed, but reached for her, pressing a brief kiss to her lips before he murmured, "You're lucky you're on my good side."
"I didn't know you had a good side."
"Take the compliment."
She leaned up on her toes, and kissed him, resting her back on the tree behind her, holding the bottom of his shirt, tugging it to bring him closer. His breath was audible as he sighed, relaxing into the next kiss, an arm looping around her waist. Zoe carded her fingers through his hair, his proximity working wonders for her. He'd been so far away recently, a muddy image from the hell she'd been stuck in, and she couldn't touch him, really feel him. Her muscles were still sore, from the residue of torture, and fighting Levi, but it didn't matter now.
"I missed you," she mumbled, lips brushing his as she spoke. "So much, and I'm so, so sorry I got captured. I tried to do too much."
He shook his head. "That doesn't matter anymore. Even if you did pull the dumbest move I've seen in awhile."
"I-it was dumb."
"I should've been there for you."
"No, I make my own choices, Levi. And you came after me; that's what important right now, okay?"
"But I'm still going to hurt him," he said, heavy-lidded eyes seeming much more threatening now. "Got it?"
"are you asking me?"
"I'm not. Just telling you."
She nosed in again, unable to keep a smile from her fingers briefly smoothed her hair back from her face, tilting her chin up before he leaned into kiss her. Levi's hands were hesitant, but that reality didn't last long, his grip on her tightening, pulling her closer. Levi watched her respond to him with half closed eyes, ghost of a smile on his lips whenever her breath hitched.
"I missed you too, you know," he murmured.
"Because of this?" she asked, again taking in his face as best she could in the semi-darkness, his gray eyes on hers.
"Yes."
"you're the worst."
Her hand glided over his soft skin, the hard muscle underneath it all providing a lovely contrast, knowing just how much she'd missed this as well. She hugged him close again, interrupting progress as she clung tight to him, caused him to muffle a chuckle into her skin, his arms back around her, a couple fingers still underneath her clothing. Levi pulled away, grabbing her hand briefly, dipping into kiss her cheek before he turned on his heel, heading back to the group.
Zoe sighed, sinking down the trunk of the tree, wrapping her arms around her knees as she rested on the ground, setting her forehead to them, taking the moment to breath. His touch had calmed her down, and the fact he was near by was helping as well, but she'd learned to be confident in herself before anything else. She knew having Jay and Nathan safe would help; she desperately needed to know they were as safe as she was so she could find some peace of mind.
With them; she didn't know what it was that'd concreted her allegiance to the both of them, more so with Jay, she had to admit. Despite Nathan's blunders, and her own spiral out of control that had brought them together for a moment, she'd still never wish his situation on anyone else. Even Kenny Ackerman didn't deserve to have his memories wiped, because she'd lost all of her identity.
All of her memories were wiped to a blank slate, leaving only the rough, shaky, one dimensional outline, and planting a terrible foundation. Her personality was sustained by her background, and she needed those lost experiences, recalling briefly the serious panic attacks she'd underwent, along with the lack of understanding Kenny displayed. She didn't have Jaz anymore, either; they'd wiped her brother from her memories, someone who'd been there for her when her anxiety became a stark reality.
Jaz had put himself subjacent to her in those situations, taught her how to breath with him. The position she held now was a trademark of her panic attacks around the house, even if 'the house' probably wasn't there anymore. Nothing was there; she just had her memories, one surfacing for the briefest moment.
"Okay, so tell me how 3DMG works?" Jaz asked, keeping his focus on her. "Come on, you always love to talk about the mechanics of it, and since mom doesn't let you do that anymore…"
"H-Haven't I told you about that?"
Zoe cracked her eyes open, taking in her twin again, his light brown eyes familiar because they were hers, skin already darker than hers, even if summer had just begun. While she'd have prefered to be outside, her mother was forcing her to undertake the mind numbing task of sewing. Her mother would snap at her if she missed a loop with her crocheting hook, fingers trying to guide the hook through, but she just couldn't seem to manage it.
"Okay, so what's the coolest thing about the 3D movement gear?"
She pushed her head into her folded arms, knees still clutched to her chest. "um, the blades are made from super-hard metal."
"I thought those were just regular metal."
Zoe shook her head, looking at him again, a faint smile on her face. It was always funny when people, and especially Jaz, were wrong. She breathed deep, reaching for his hand where it rested on the floor, placing hers over his.
And she wanted to keep those memories of her twin as long as she could.
Zoe stood soon, glancing to the dark sky, thinking one of her rather clever inside jokes to her brother, unsure as to why she still looked up to the sky, him, for some sort of guidance. She'd never put her confidence in an otherworldly entity, for some sort of higher social status; she was still struggling to find power in herself. And any power she'd accumulated seemed to have left her.
She stood up, walked quickly back to the group.
Something sinister to it; Pendulum swinging slow, a degenerate moving, through the city with criminal stealth, welcome to enemy turf(..) Get up off the pavement brush the dirt up off my psyche, (psyche, psyche)
She slipped between the gaping bars of the portcullis, hardly stopping to ponder at her new overly slim size, going for the next obstacle instead. Her muscles ached under the new strain, protesting terribly. She'd never felt this kind of fatigue, so deeply settled into her bones she wondered if she would ever rid herself of it.
Levi helped her raise herself up, eyebrows knitted with unspoken concern, slipping up the slight incline with ease. His hand touched at her elbow, eyes locked on her, waiting for a slight nod to dispel his obvious tension. She felt that wouldn't do, as Hanji's loud and annoying distraction wasn't going to last, as the military police wouldn't put up with it for very long.
Zoe moved to the cells, walk turning into a jog, steps echoing hollowly on the stones beneath her, finally giving up any measured pace and sprinting. Her head was turned, watching the cells blur beside her, panic rising to her throat. She could hardly imagine what had been done to them, if they'd been tossed in here without any sort of help as the drug left their systems. Kenny Ackerman had been the first to see the cracks in their memory manipulation, as they'd not been given another dose in weeks. She did know where they'd been sent, and she'd been only slightly lucky to not suffer the same fate.
She saw red hair a bit ahead and slowed, grasping a bar to hold herself up, breath catching in her throat. "Nathan."
He looked up to that name, cheeks pale and sallow, a hand at his temple, squinting through some sort of pain. "Commander?"
"Where's Jay?" she asked, glancing to Levi as he went through his lock picking set, holding a slim metal piece between his lips. "Levi's going to unlock you, but I need to know where Jay is."
"Couple blocks down," Nathan said, groaning in pain as he shifted to point down the hallway. "tell me someone brought water, I can barely think straight as I is-it, I meant, and," Nathan left off, staring, dazed, at the wall opposite his cell, jaw sagging, any effort to continue talking vanishing.
Zoe moved away, walking towards the indicated direction, Jay coming into her field of vision. Her knees threatened to buckle under her, Zoe's world spinning out of focus, falling to one knee, pulling at the bars in a silly attempt to open the door. She looked towards Levi, barely managing to say his name, but he jogged to her, opening the door with a level of expertise that she would've complimented in any other situation.
She scrambled into the cell, crashing into Jay's generally thin frame, hugging the man too tight. Jay made a noise, and he leaned back for a moment to give her a strange look, her name forming on his lips. In response, she squeezed him harder, hating that she was blinking back tears; but this was her friend, her best friend, and Zoe didn't allow herself friends in the slightest, not since she'd joined the military, and a good space of time before that.
"How'd you find me?" Jay asked, and Zoe finally relented, sitting back on her heels. "Why did you find me, Commander?"
"Why?"
Jay took a deep breath, and Zoe leaned back, knowing he was going to rush out a sentence, hands fisted on his knees where he knelt in front of her. "I have to assume you have something better to do, I cannot be worth the time, or energy you and Captain Levi have put forth- "
"Shut up."
"What?" He squinted at her, the dim light of the cell block making it difficult for her to see his complete reaction.
"Shut up, Jay," she said, grasping one of his hands in both of hers. "You've come back for me numerous times when orders said otherwise, so here I am."
"Also, it was on the way, and we needed supplies," Levi spoke from where he leaned on the opposite wall, Nathan sitting close. "That's an important fact."
Jay's exhaustion was possibly a factor in him not putting up a serious fight, but he seemed more put together than Nathan, limping along next to her without help. Nathan leaned on Levi for support, despite LEvi's evident annoyance with this situation, keeping a steady pace beside them. Maybe Nathan was leaning too much on Levi, just to be as much as an asshole as possible in this situation.
"Your memories, have they come back?" Zoe asked Jay and Nathan as the moonlit doorway came into view.
"Yes, for the most part," Jay responded, "My headache seems to be permanent of course, but hopefully, it'll pass. Flashes of those memories I have while under the influence come with searing pain and...I need to converse with you privately beyond this, Commander, for a second at least, because I remember what I- what we did to you."
Levi cleared his throat, shoving Nathan off him as they stepped into the courtyard before he spoke. "I'll leave you to that; I'm going to collect my squad, I'm sure Hanji is done, and I'll give you six minutes; come or not, it doesn't matter to the rest," Levi started off towards the portcullis entrance, turning slightly to continue haltingly, "and to me, of course. Make your own choice."
Jay gave him a quick nod, focusing on Zoe now. Nathan completed their half circle arrangement, standing as still as usual, contrasted by Jay's nervous shuffling to the otherside of her. The redhead held out his hand, not seeming as large as she remembered, and she took it, giving him a firm shake, know this was his thanks, and perhaps an apology as well. Between Jay and Nathan, the former handled the formal situations, while Nathan would deal out brute strength when needed.
"I'm not sure what to say," Jay began, crossing his arms tight over his chest, shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes. She'd never seen his hair as long as it was now, nor his clothes as disheveled, his nails caked with mud, pale skin muddled with bruises that were yellow and purple in the dim lighting. Zoe nodded, desperate to collapse into a week long sleep, preferably being waited on by Levi, but that was a wild fantasy for a reason.
"I've got something, actually," Nathan said, raising his hand as if they were at a meeting, and she nodded to him. "I'm sorry. I could kind of see what I was doing to you, and you gotta know I didn't meant to do that to ya, Commander Roth, I feel like you might think I wanted to, but fuck no; never." Nathan shook his head, matted hair barely moving. "Never, got it? I can't make that clear enough. You've gotta know I'll have nightmares for a good while. I had no control, and those blurry images get clearer and clearer." His shoulders shook along with a mirthless chuckle, breaking off to cough into the crook his his elbow, keeping his eyes on her when he regained control. "I'm sorry. I'm gonna hop on that cart back to Sina with the Survey Corps, put up with those crackpots for a couple minutes until Jay joins me. His talking is better when he's alone with someone else."
With a tiny stoop that might've counted for a bow, NAthan was gone, limping towards the portcullis entrance where the two carts were settled, hopping as smoothly as possible into cart. Jay made an odd movement, arms extended, wrapping her in a awkward, but tight hug. They'd never hugged before this, excusing one time, or two, but those moments hadn't been any better, maybe even more oddly executed.
"I couldn't have lived with myself if you hadn't come back, you know?" he mumbled, squeezing her to the point of asphyxiation for a moment. "I remember all of it, nothing is blurry, nothing at all. You're the only person who really accepted me, so I can't detach myself from those emotions, because you're a friend. I don't have friends."
She laughed, nodding into his chest, feeling rather dwarfed, despite Jay's overly skinny state. "I don't have friends either."
"You're still my friend, right?" Jay asked, drawing away from her, his chin tipped down, head cocked to the side, like a dog who'd been kicked.
"Yes, Jay, of course."
He attempted a smile, white teeth displayed briefly to her, though it was fairly threatening. "Good; great, I mean, that's excellent, it's nice to know you're still here. Now, you should go back to Captain Levi, who seems to really care about your presence."
"He said he didn't," Her remark was more of a joke than an actual statement.
Jay resisted an eye roll. "He can't keep a straight face."
"That's a lie. Have you seen him destroy people in poker? It's spectacular."
"Yea, but I'm good at detecting lies; that's why I win cards so much,," Jay said, tapping the side of his nose, the odd 'keep a secret' gesture making her heart warm. "Come back safe, Commander."
She reached for him again, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, patting him roughly on his back (more like his shoulders because reaching his back wasn't an option, she was short in every aspect). He coughed in response, returning the hug, and Zoe sighed, reluctant to let him go. Still, she was pushing her time allotment, and she couldn't ignore Levi's eyes on her.
"You too," she mumbled.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I know, but still...just meet up with me when I come back, okay?" Zoe drew away slowly as she finished her request, gripping his hands in hers before she stepped back. "I think you should cook for me, because according to reports I can't cook."
Jay gave her an instant response, on the heels of her statement, practiced and earnest as ever, "You can cook."
"Really?"
He nodded, and she smiled wide, waving him goodbye as they separated between the wagons, Zoe getting unneeded help from Levi to board their wagon. She snuggled smugly into a corner of the wagon, tracking Levi as he moved, finishing the final touches to their carry ons. Zoe eventually slipped off the wagon to help him, though he flatly refused to let her lift anything he didn't check, helping her into her 3D gear, as Jean and Connie of his squad watched in awe, mouths wide as his fingers trailed too low on certain parts of his buckling moves. When she gave him a little elbow, they both flinched, ducking behind the wagon for an instant.
Levi finally raised his eyes to their position, sighing heavily, "Don't you two have somewhere to be right now?"
"Hanji said she was done-" Connie said, raising his hand tentatively.
"When have I ever ordered you to take Hanji seriously?"
The two boys considered that statement, then shuffled off in the general direction Hanji was. Levi raised his hand to her cheek for a moment, drawing her attention to him as he brushed invisible dirt from her sleeve, leaning in for a quick kiss.
"Are you happy?" He asked. "Now that you've seen them?"
"Yes," she said, flashing him a smile before adding, with a rather juvenile poke at his chest, "and according to Jay, I can cook."
"You've got to let that idea go, it's shitty."
"I think you should reconsider that answer."
He shook his head, smile tugging at his lips before he returned to his normal flat, "What did the government have you doing? What you couldn't tell me once? Tell me now."
Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, shrugging her shoulders as she did. She remembered how pissed he'd been that she hadn't been able to tell him what had spoiled their outing. Still, the bid for secrecy had been so well enforced, that even now, after the very real betrayal the Central Government had brought on her, she didn't want to tell him anything. There was so much trust between them, but she couldn't seem to dredge up the bravery to tell him about her activity.
She'd thought she'd take it to her grave, and with death so recently presenting itself to her, she didn't want anything to be left unspoken between them. He'd said he loved her; something she'd resolved to not hear, and to be happy not hearing it, and she was much better off hearing it once than not all, because his feelings spoke louder now. So, she should just tell him, fuck redacted words guarded under irrelevant lock and key. It seemed crazy, she just couldn't.
"I don't know, Levi, it's not-I don't know."
Levi waved her words away, scowling at her, no doubt annoyed with her lack of trust, still. "You're stronger than ever; I saw your performance during Trost, you, Jay, and Nathan, shouldn't have been that polished taking on Titans. And then the shitty female titan? If you hadn't let one little thing distract you, you could've slowed her down drastically, so don't 'don't know' me."
"I'm strong without practice, thank you," she said, gazing down at her feet before she glared up at him through her fringe.
"Oi, Zoe, listen; you are, but you've been tested, and you've come through it. Not everyone gets through it, so don't bullshit me, tell me what happened."
"It was fairly safe, it wasn't- I just don't know what it was," Zoe said, gazing up at the night sky, pressing her lips tight together.
"Yes, you have to have an idea, because you're you, and you observe," Levi stated, brushing imaginary dirt off his shirt. "You're my equivalent."
"Hardly, Levi, you're humanity's strongest soldier."
He scoffed. "Propaganda. And the government is done, Zoe."
It had to be done. She wanted the Central MP Office burned, and HQ weeded out, with all the useless leeches plucked and thrown under boot. Did she need a representation of that destruction before she told him anything? Would her words come when the confidential stamped documents were firmly eradicated, so they couldn't find her one remaining family member? She'd trusted Levi with her body, her life, why wasn't that trust spreading to her work?
"Fine," she said, clasping her hands behind her back,deciding to take this as a debriefing of some sort. "The government had us chaperoning Central Military Police into Wall Maria territory, just outside of a small district; name redacted. It was a thirty minute or so ride to the area, where they'd go into a trap door area, some sort of basement, but there wasn't a house around, ruined. So it was built in, and we have to assume that the government lost some assets behind the wall, and it has to be one of them. Every other week, I'd risk my men's lives to provide the Central MPs safe passage-"
"And none of this convinced you to drop everything and come to me," Levi interjected, interrupting her entire flow without any consideration, eyebrows raised.
She would've given him a less that playful slap, but his subordinates were still close, so she tightened her hand in a fist, glaring at him. Levi's eyes went to her fist, not taking her quiet threat seriously, per usual. Zoe breathed deep, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, hoping her side-eye had done enough to deter further interruptions.
"They'd go into the trapdoor, and wouldn't come out for an half an hour, at least. One time, at the start of it, I was sure we were there for three hours, and in that space of time, we dealt with more titans than I think most of my men, who hadn't been involved in the wall Maria debacle, had seen in their lives. We lost one man, out of the 18 of us, and most of us were injured, even myself, when a variant we thought was down and dead grasped me," Zoe lifted her shirt from her straps, pulling it up to her bra line, touching the burn muddled skin gingerly, the splotch close to her hip twinging. "and then the normal crashing through bushes cuts those exchanges deal out. After that the time spent out was reduced to two hour excursions at most, but they always liked to push it to piss us off. Stalling in Titan Territory," Zoe sighed, twisting her fingers slightly as she considered the fate they could've encountered.
There'd been many times her nerves had spiked when she thought her 3DMG wouldn't meet her demands, and after that one man had been killed, she'd actually gone over the Central MP's head to Zacklay. She supposed that she should've known that someone from the Central MPs would've been there to glare at her from behind Zacklay's chair, as the Commander read a disclaimer directly from a sheet. Zacklay's words were flat, and he looked generally agitated by the Central MP not sitting in front of his desk, in the clearly indicated chair next to hers.
Zoe talked with her hands as she continued, "I think it was some sort of research lab, not a serial killer lockup, because they'd drag crates of equipment from the industrial districts there, mainly glassblowing companies, so I think they'd stock it. And that apothecary I hooked up with a job and my nephew would show me his order forms, for an exaggerated amount of herbs around the time we went out, so I think they stuck some scientist down there, I can't fathom what actually went on, they gloss over everything important. Furthermore, a couple of passed out 'criminals' were included. Bound tight in ropes, bag always over their faces, the weaving worn enough to get a rough judgement of their faces, though. They were mostly older men, I'm pretty sure, and I think one was an artisan of some sort. They were too lax one time, left the old man in only ropes, no bag, and I knew the rumors that had popped up around him, that he was an inventor. I just can't...it was a big cover up, but dammit, they had a good location. And that's all I know, really, vague shit, I'm sorry."
"It's better than nothing," he said, reaching for her, hand hesitating on her shoulder before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. "How many hugs have you had today, then?"
"Too many now, I think."
His public hugs were still intensely odd at the start, as Levi tried to relax enough to not squeeze her threateningly against him as if he was going to crush her. Back in training, Isabel had always whined when he pulled her into a rare hug, and he'd mutter about how it was on purpose before rubbing his knuckles against the top of her head. Thankfully, she didn't have to deal with that sort of roughness, and he relaxed enough for her, the action still very tight, but she didn't mind.
Hanji's melodramatic sigh had Levi pulling away from her, leveling his glare towards the woman, an effort that never seemed to stop her from continuing her sentences. "Adorable, really, Levi, relationship goals, and all that."
"Don't start four-eyes," Levi hissed, walking to grab the reigns of his horse, settled next to a couple other saddled mares. "Zoe, you're riding next to the cart, I need you to be ready for battle; with that old squad of yours."
Zoe shook her head. "They were never my squad, you know?"
"Kenny probably didn't disclose any information," Levi said, faint amusement lacing his voice. "What a tight-ass; you'd think he'd make things easier for us."
"jokes now?"
"It's a fact, not a joke."
Levi swung up into his saddle, face still at it's neutral zero as he gathered his troops. Jean and Connie lugged out a number of barrels, rolling them onto the wagon with a bit of help from Mikasa. Armin jogged out with an extra canister of gunpowder, clambering into the wagon along with Hanji, Connie, and Mikasa, setting it in a secure location before he settled behind the reigns, easing the horses into a brisk trot, behind two torches carried by two of the (she assumed) ex-MPs Marlo and Hitch on horseback.
"Do you think you should be getting back?" Hanji asked as they pulled out of the thoroughly plundered compound, something of final bastion of the Central MPs, considering they'd already decimated their ranks at HQ. "I know the political wheels are turning, and you should be there to come out on top."
Zoe shrugged, casting a glance over her shoulder towards Levi. "I can't really pinpoint when I stopped caring about politics, but…"
"You're staying for Captain short stuff over there, I understand."
"I know he doesn't need me, really," she rushed out, flashing a bland smile towards Hanji, noticing acutely how the rest of the cart group was listening in on the conversation.
"That little guy doesn't know what he needs."
"What was that, four-eyes?" Levi asked, the corner of his left eye giving that telltale twitch of annoyance, reserved for Hanji. "Speak up."
Hanji cleared her throat, faking a cough. "I'm fine, I was told to watch my volume. Got something of a cold."
"Those symptoms and advice seemed to crop up fast, huh, Hanji?"
"As only you know, Captain Levi." Hanji gave him one of her brighter smiles, eyes hidden behind the moon's reflection in her glasses.
She led an extra horse along side of her, same as Jean and Levi, Sasha leading up the back of the group. The group made excellent progress on the bendy, grown over road, getting lost a bit at least twice. Levi made Hitch, Margo, and Zoe go together up in the first try and ask for directions, their MP jackets making them a friend to these inner Wall Sina residents. Zoe didn't like talking to the person they met, standing stock still between her subordinates. They motioned towards a map she held out for them, annoyed that she only came up to Hitch's shoulder.
The second time they got turned around, Hitch and Marlo went up alone, and Zoe swung herself up into the cart for a quick debriefing.
"Once we get there, you guys will have no time for pause or mistake in those caves. And as cramped as they are, that's not even close to the real threat. Get it? It's Kenny the Ripper. If he's around, he will be the number one obstacle. In terms of the threat that he poses," Levi paused for a moment, searching for the correct description, "think of as if I were the enemy. No," Levi stopped himself before he continued, seemingly oblivious to the way his squad paled at the comparison, "with that weaponry he's more dangerous than I am to some extent."
"Then...it's impossible for us…" Sasha said, trailing off.
Connie spoke next, "Waiting to rejoin with the Army Corps is…"
"Absolutely impossible," Mikasa finished the group thought.
"That's right!" Connie turned to look Mikasa in her eyes, "it's impossible. If we wait till morning, Eren might get eaten!"
"But...from what the captain said, it doesn't seem like he has no weakness either," Armin said.
"Are you serious, Armin?" Jean asked.
"Yea, even if they had training, their real battle experience didn't start until yesterday," Hanji said, glancing to Levi as she continued. "But, even though you lived together, you have no information about Kenny the Ripper; what's with that?"
"My bad...yesterday was the first time I even heard his full name," Levi murmured before looking to Mikasa, seeming to glower a bit more. "Kenny Ackerman...A relation of yours, perhaps?"
Mikasa took a moment before she answered, "According to my parents, when they were alive, father's Ackerman family had been persecuted in the cities. Mother, who was Asian, her family lost its place in the cities too, because of their race. The two of them, both chased deep into the mountains at the edge of the wall, met one another, and became husband and wife. Even father had no idea why the Ackerman family had been persecuted. I didn't see any distinguishing features, like mother had, in him."
"You...Have you ever experienced a moment where it was like a power had awakened inside you?" Levi asked.
Zoe couldn't help but focus on Mikasa as intently as everyone else, waiting for her response. Was the girl connected to Levi? And by any simple logic, were they related?
"I have," Mikasa said.
"It seems Kenny Ackerman had a moment like that as well. At some time, in some moment, it was as if some stupendous power welled up within his body, and suddenly he knew what he had to do," Levi murmured, detaching himself from any eye contact as he continued. "I, as well, had a moment like that."
At that moment, Marlo and Hitch came back from the door, ending the conversation to move forward on their push to the church. It's spire soon crept into view on the horizon, and Zoe dropped back the needed moment to come level to Levi's horse, leaning in to nudge his shoulder, making brief eye contact with him. She hoped he'd get the message, find sometime to talk to her one on one like she wanted.
He did as soon as they were a clearing away from the church, settling down to make preparations for the foray into the underground caverns. While the others finished off the unloading of the carts, they stood to the side, standing as close as they usually did, heads bent slightly as they spoke in hushed voices.
"You felt comfortable telling them that?"
"Erwin knows this, same as you. Hanji talks too much, yes, but they needed the information. You, on the other hand, got the information from Farlan when he was tipsy, and then from me when you pried."
"I confirmed it with you. Confirm sounds better than pried. Is there a possibility she's related to you?"
"Possibly, but that's not what I'm worried about, really."
"I understand that, I just barely know anything about you and Kenny, so I'm…"
"I'll fill you in after, Zoe."
"Full details, not Levi details."
He snorted, raising his eyebrow. "What are Levi details?"
"short, vaguely passive aggressive sentences that belong on file in some sort of dusty room at HQ."
"That's a dumb name, nevermind your definition," Levi said, brushing a leaf from her shoulder before he stepped towards the church, motioning at her to follow him. "I'll tell you, Zoe, don't think that I won't. I know we'll have time after this, if we can just clear this shit up, I think- never mind." He stopped briefly in front of the doors that led into the church, gaze level with hers. "I love you, you know?"
She couldn't help a smile, face warming as she responded quietly, "I love you too. Slightly."
"Slightly? What if I died right now, and you've left me with slightly?" Levi asked as shook his head, opening the rickety door for her.
"But you're not going to die."
"Neither are you."
They rejoined the group quickly enough, Hanji and Armin crouched around a lantern, while the rest were posted at the windows and doors of the church, doubling up on the lookout job. Marlo and Hitch were outside as the first line of defense; and she was sure the group honestly trusted the two MPs, no matter their present moral clarity. She understood that they may have mistrusted her at the start, but…
"There it is," Hanji said, plucking at the tattered rug that had covered the trapdoor, "A hidden entrance. Eren and the enemy should both be beyond this. Hopefully, the layout is as I had anticipated."
"I hope taking that roundabout path and bringing those souvenirs along was also not in vain," Levi murmured, turning to look at Armin, still fiddling with one of the barrels.
Armin finished a final tie off, shifting the cylinder to check on the other lines that crisscrossed it, the gas canisters firmly in place. "All right. The preparations are complete!"
"I see...Well then. So are you guys prepared to get your hands dirty as well?" Levi asked the room, and the ones on lookout turned slightly to meet his gaze. They all responded in their own ways, and Levi turned back to the trapdoor. "looking good."
He stood, kicking the rug further away from the trapdoor, checking his 3DMG. Marlo and Hitch were called in briefly by Hanji, who made sure the two of them knew what to do if anyone came to check on the area. Mikasa picked briefly at the scarf around her neck as she watched Jean pace to and fro, Armin still running his eyes over the cylinders they had rigged. The blonde's mouth moved without sound, and Zoe pulled her eyes away from the group to focus on herself.
Slowly, she circled her wrist with her hand, pad of her index finger on her veins, feeling her rapid heartbeat acutely. Zoe released her wrist, twisting her body to check on the straps that adorned her back, the clasp near her collarbone, and the ones on her thighs. She slid out her blades once, recalling the anti-human gear, how odd it had felt on her, compared to the 3DMG, relieved to have it back.
And now she had the chance of revenge? As if she wasn't going to be one of the first into the cavern.
"Zoe," Hanji called, motioning her over, Levi and Mikasa standing close to the bespectacled woman. "I think the frontal charge will be better with you a moment behind. We can't waste someone with serious battle experience."
Levi nodded, speaking quickly, "You'll split off with me, we have to spread out; we're still unsure of their numbers, but with a wide sweep, we should be able to pinpoint them, and adjust our strategy."
"Okay."
The trap door opened down to a corridor, the group moving slowly along it, dragging their barrels with them. Sasha held her bow at the ready, oil soaked cloth around the tip of an arrow, ready to be lit by the torch they carried to light their way. Armin and Hanji set them selves into place, waiting for Connie to kick away the door. Connie looked behind himself, waiting for a nod for Hanji, executing his kick in the next moment. Hanji and Armin sent over their barrels, Connie shoving the third down before stepping away to let Levi, Mikasa, and Zoe sprint past, down the stairs that led into the cavern.
Armin took the torch from Jean as Zoe passed them, lighting Sasha's arrow, the girl's precision carrying their plans through as the barrel blew up. Zoe put her arm up to block as much heat and light as she could, the ground beneath her feet rumbling before she took to the air, a beat behind Levi and Mikasa.
"THEY'VE BROKEN IN," one of the enemies shouted, heralding a quick follow up of, "SHOOT THEM DOWN!"
Black rocks and shoreline sand; Still that summer I cannot bare. And I wipe the sand of my arms, the Spanish Sahara, the place that you'd wanna, leave the horror here, forget the horror here, forget the horror here; leave it all down here, it's future rust and then it's future dust.