A/N You're all awesome! Thanks for supporting my fic, you guys have no idea how much I appreciate it. Have a wonderful Saturday and I will be back next weekend with a new chapter.
Chapter 33
Ashley wasn't sure how she even made it back to the locker room. From the moment that Madison confronted her to when Spencer left, was a jumbled mess in her head. The only thing she knew for certain was that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life and that she'd hurt the one person she never wanted to hurt again. The pain and anguish on the blonde's face made her sick to think about.
She made a beeline towards a bathroom stall just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Tears threatened to make their way down Ashley's face, but she was forcing herself not to break down. She knew that if she did, she'd be incapable of leaving school grounds for a long time.
By some miracle, Madison was not there when Ashley returned to get her stuff. She had braced herself for more of Madison's attack, but the locker room was empty and there was no sign of the other girl. Not that Ashley was really thinking all that much about Madison. All she could think of was Spencer. She had to go after the blonde to make things right. Ashley wasn't even sure that was possible, but she had to try. She had let Spencer walk away once before without fighting and she wasn't going to make that mistake twice.
She couldn't acknowledge the other mistake that she'd just committed again. If she did, it would be impossible for her to chase after the blonde. Ashley felt a desperation take over that was so strong it was hard for her breathe. She only hoped that once she found Spencer, Ashley would be given the opportunity to explain how she hadn't meant a word she'd said and how Madison had set everything up.
The journey over to Spencer's house took longer than Ashley anticipated. At first the brunette couldn't even drive because she was shaking so hard. She suspected that the shock of everything was finally affecting her. Eventually she managed to calm herself down. It seemed like she was stopped by every red light and was stuck behind every bad driver on her way to the blonde's. Her desperation only increased and, by the time she arrived at Spencer's, she was wracked with so much anxiety that she almost turned around at left.
She wasn't going to run—not this time. Ashley stepped out of her car on shaky legs but determined to confront this head on. She thought about using the key that Spencer had given her months back, but Ashley decided that wasn't the right move. After everything that had happened today, she felt she had no right to just walk into Spencer's house.
She rang the doorbell and held her breath while she waited for Spencer to answer the door. When nothing happened, Ashley decided to knock and see if she could get the blonde's attention that way. "Please, Spencer, please just give me a chance to explain," Ashley begged as she continued to pound on the door. "Please, Spencer," she tried again, more desperate and more pleading. She had to get the blonde to understand what had happened.
After a few minutes of this, Ashley heard the lock of the door being turned. She held her breath as she waited to see Spencer's face.
But it wasn't Spencer on the other side of the door, it was Sean.
His face was stoic and his jaw set. "You need to leave."
Ashley could barely meet his gaze. Her shame at what she'd done made her want to look away. "I know I've made a huge mistake, Sean, please just-"
"I mean it, Ashley, leave," Sean replied. He didn't sound angry, but his tone was cold. "You need to leave because that's what Spencer wants. Do you really think causing a scene is the best thing to do right now?"
Ashley's throat was tightening up and so was her chest. She couldn't stand the way that Sean was eyeing her, like she was a total stranger. "I didn't, uh, I just… I need to fix this."
"What you need to do is go." Sean said. He had to get Ashley to understand that she wasn't going to see Spencer, no matter how much she wanted to. "I told you that if you hurt Spencer you and I would have a problem, didn't I? So, let's not drag this out further." There was absolutely no way that Sean was going to let Ashley inflict anymore pain on Spencer. The blonde had barely had the chance to explain what happened before Ashley had shown up. Sean had been on his way home from dropping his Grandmother back at her place when he received an urgent text from Spencer that she needed him. When he had found out what had taken place at school, he was beyond livid. However close he and Ashley had become the last few months, he was always going to be loyal to Spencer. Helping her now was his number one priority.
Ashley stood there, unable to move. She thought she couldn't feel any worse than she did already, but she was wrong. She was on the verge of losing it and she didn't want that to happen in front of Sean. He would probably think it was an attempt for her to get sympathy. Ashley didn't even say anything else to Sean; she just turned around and walked back to her car.
Sean waited until Ashley had left before he closed the front door, then he went back to Spencer who was in the den. There was a protectiveness that Sean felt for the blonde and all he wanted to do was take her pain away, no matter how impossible that was. "She's gone."
"Thanks," Spencer said. She was hugging her knees to her chest and trying not to think about what she'd witnessed. That was of course all she could think about. The words that Ashley had said had cut her deeply. She wished she could get rid of the pain she was feeling. In the past she would have blocked everything out, but she couldn't do that right now.
"Is there anything I can do?" Sean knew it wasn't the best question to ask, but he felt helpless. "Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer shook her head vehemently. "It might help," he offered. He wasn't going to push the blonde, but he felt strongly that her shutting down was absolutely the wrong thing to do.
"It won't help," Spencer replied. She wasn't trying to be difficult and she wasn't lashing out. Her voice was dull of any emotion actually. "Nothing can help."
"Well, I've heard eating lots of ice cream and watching chick flicks is what most girls do when in situations like this. We can do that if you want," Sean suggested.
Even with all the hurt she was feeling, Spencer did manage to look slightly amused. "I'm not most girls."
"Fair enough," Sean said. "What do you want to do?"
"I have no idea." Spencer replied honestly. She was such a mess of emotions inside.
Sean sat down on the sofa next to his friend. He wished he could find the right thing to say. The reality was, everything right now sucked and he couldn't change that. But he could be there for Spencer, whatever she needed.
Eventually, Spencer told Sean that she what she needed was time alone. She went up to her room and quietly shut the room behind her. It wasn't easy being in the place that just the weekend before had been the place she'd shared such an amazing experience with Ashley. But she had to have her space so she could figure out what to do. She lay down on her bed and stared out the window. Spencer wished she could go numb. She'd do just about anything not to feel what she experiencing. When her phone went off, Spencer knew it was Ashley without even looking at the message. She didn't even read what Ashley had written. Spencer turned off her phone before closing her eyes. Maybe she could just sleep this all away.
Ashley looked at her phone, hoping against hope that Spencer would respond. The silence was worse than being yelled at by her or being told off. The silence scared Ashley more than an angry Spencer.
When it was painfully obvious that Spencer wasn't going to reply, Ashley flopped back on her bed and gazed up at the ceiling. She had been on the verge of tears so many times, but she'd been able to fight them off. That was getting more challenging as more time passed. Before she had felt the smallest bit of hope that Spencer and she could move past what she'd done. Now, Ashley was starting to lose that hope. She didn't blame Spencer for what she was feeling she just wished that she could get the opportunity to see her and talk to her.
In a move that was part comforting and part painful, Ashley started scrolling through all the photos on her phone that were of either her and Spencer together, or just of the blonde. Some were goofy, some were a bit more risqué and some were ones that made Ashley ache inside. The pictures painted a story of a happy couple that was deeply in love with one another, which clashed with the reality that Ashley had to face.
Every picture that she scrolled through emphasized the damage her actions had done. If she hadn't messed everything up, she'd be with the blonde right this minute doing who knew what. Their lunchtime rendezvous now felt like it had happened to a completely different person in a different time. Ashley felt disconnected from that version of herself.
She stopped what she had been doing when she noticed that there was a video on her phone she did not recognize. It was obvious that it was Spencer in the video, but Ashley didn't remember taking it. She hesitated for a few seconds before pressing play. Within in seconds, she was crying.
"Hey Ash," Spencer started, looking incredibly pleased with herself. "I've stolen your phone, but hopefully you won't mind. You're sleeping upstairs and I'm so happy I wanted to make this as a surprise for you. Last night was the best night of my life and not just because we slept together. Although, don't get me wrong, that was incredible. But I love that I got to share such an amazing experience with my best friend. It's not always easy for me to tell you what I'm feeling, but I love that I can tell you anything. I am so in love with you, Ash. I hope last night was just as incredible for you as it was for me. You were right, it was like first time for me too. I know sometimes you're insecure because you think I have all this experience that you don't have, but I can tell you that I've never, ever, experienced anything like last night. You are so amazing and so sexy. Shit, I think I'm making a fool out of myself, but I don't even care. I better get back to you before you wake up because I can't wait to see you and I can't wait to kiss you good morning." The blonde then blew a kiss into the camera before she stopped recording.
By the time the video ended, Ashley couldn't see properly she was crying so hard. She pressed play again almost immediately. She didn't know how she was going to get through the next minute, let alone the next hour or next day. But as long as she had Spencer's voice to listen to, she could try and hold onto that.
Spencer's mind was completely unfocused. She had hardly slept. It was one of the worst nights of her life. She was so angry and felt so betrayed by Ashley and yet all she wanted was to talk to the brunette. She had almost messaged Ashley back countless times, but had stopped each and every time she felt her resolve weaken. Spencer refused to give into her desire to make the pain stop if it meant letting Ashley back in her life. She couldn't put herself in the position to be hurt again.
Sean had stayed over even when Spencer had insisted she didn't need him to. It was a lie, of course, the last thing Spencer wanted was to be alone, but she felt bad that so often her problems affected him as much as they did. Regardless, Sean wouldn't have left anyway. Not when Spencer was in such a bad state. He was worried that he hadn't seen the blonde cry. Instead she was almost catatonic and lifeless. He had expected her to be full of rage, but this listless version of Spencer was worse than when she became a fireball of fury.
There hadn't been a lot of conversation between the two friends. Spencer couldn't think of a single thing to say. She internalized everything that was on her mind and all of her feelings. Even with the coping techniques she had learned in therapy, she just couldn't bring herself to open up. It all felt too fresh and she felt too raw.
In the early hours of the morning, Spencer came downstairs and sat at the kitchen table for at least an hour in a complete daze. A part of her hoped that this was all some kind of nightmare that she'd wake up from. But like everything else she had to deal with—Clay dying, her parent's divorce, her mom's rejection, her dad's alcoholism and Ashley's first betrayal—no amount of hoping or wishing could change what had happened. Spencer had battled feelings of being alone before, but now it felt like she was more on her own than ever. It was isolating.
She kept trying to figure out what she could do or how should handle things. One thought kept coming back to her no matter how many times she dismissed it. She didn't want to go down that path, but maybe it was her only choice. Maybe it was the only way to deal with this entire horrible situation.
"Hey," Sean said when he walked into the kitchen. He had crashed in Glen's room and had just woken up.
Spencer nodded in her friend's direction; words were hard to come by right then.
Sean walked over to the counter to start the coffee maker. He might have gotten more sleep than Spencer but he was still exhausted. "How'd you sleep?"
"I didn't," Spencer managed to get out. "I'm not going to school. I can't right now." She wanted to let Sean know before he tried to convince her she had to go. That just wasn't going to happen. She didn't care one single bit that she might get in trouble for staying home. The thought of seeing Ashley or having to deal with the fall out of yesterday made it impossible to consider going.
"Fine, but you're not kicking me out," Sean replied. He understood why the blonde couldn't go, but he wasn't going to leave her. "I don't care if you don't talk to me or even if you don't want me here, I'm staying."
Spencer nodded, she was touched by Sean's words. It helped lessen her feelings of loneliness. The idea that she'd been kicking around in her head on how to manage what life had thrown at her, would not go away. Instead of fighting it, she decided to decide to give in to what her mind was telling her she wanted, no matter how wrong it felt. "I could use your help with something."
"Anything," Sean said instantly and without hesitation.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Spencer told her friend before she explained what it was she wanted him to do.
"Spence, I don't want to be pushy, but in order to make this happen, you do need to leave the car," Sean pointed out after minutes had gone by without Spencer making a move to leave.
"I know," Spencer sighed. This idea had seemed good at the time she'd thought of it, but now, faced with reality, it was much harder to go through with. In fact, she was having serious doubts that she could do this. "Maybe we should just go home."
Sean was having none of that. "I didn't drive three hours for you to leave without even going inside. That is not happening."
"OK, I just need a bit more time." Spencer said in an effort to stall. Maybe if she waited long enough, visiting hours would be over and then they would have no choice but to go.
"I don't actually think you do." It was the closest to direct that Sean had ever been with the blonde. He was used to letting her have her way, but this was too important and what she was going through too big for her to revert back to old habits. "I'll be right here waiting for you, but you can't sit here all day."
"Fine, whatever." Spencer knew she Sean was right. Before she could change her mind, she exited the car and walked towards the front door of the rehab facility. Her dad invited Spencer for a visit the last phone call they'd had but she had given some lame excuse that she couldn't come see him. When she'd been at home, coming to talk to her dad about Ashley had seemed like a right thing to do. Now it felt like the worst idea she could have had.
Spencer felt sick the second she gave the man at the front desk her dad's name. As much as she wanted to hightail it out of there, there was another part of her that wanted to stay—and not because Sean had told her he wouldn't take her home until she'd seen her father. The desire to be closer to her dad was stronger than her desire to stay mad at him. At least for the moment, that was the case.
Spencer was on edge and she wasn't capable of staying in one spot. Instead she paced around as her stomach buzzed with nerves.
After about ten minutes, her father walked through a nearby door. He was more than surprised when he'd been informed that Spencer was there to visit him. Besides the shock, he was worried why she was there during the day, unannounced. When he laid eyes on her, he could see that his worry was justified. She looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
Spencer tried not to outwardly react to her dad as he made his way over to her. The first thing she noticed was the beard he was now sporting. She had never seen him with so much facial hair and it was weird. Outside of that though, when she looked into his eyes, for the first time in years, she was looking into the warm eyes of her childhood. He was definitely thinner, the beard was still throwing her off, but he finally looked like the man she had always admired. It gave Spencer comfort even if she still wasn't ready to give him her full trust.
"Hey!" Arthur exclaimed when he was in front of his daughter. The uncertainty of why the blonde was visiting did not diminish his excitement that she had come. He had missed Spencer every day and he was happy to see her. "This is a surprise."
"Uh, yeah, sorry about coming without telling you. It was a spur of the moment decision," Spencer replied. "Is this, uh, is this an OK time for you?"
"I don't really have anywhere else to be," Arthur joked. It was impossible to miss how tense the blonde was. He was trying to lighten the mood. "Should I be asking why you're here when you should be in school?"
"Probably not," Spencer said. She wasn't ready to open up, even though it was her decision to visit. When she was a kid he was always the one that she went to with her problems. He had this way of breaking things down and making her feel better that nobody else was able to do. Until his downward spiral, Arthur had been the most dependable person in the blonde's life. That's why losing him to alcohol hurt as much as it did. That's why, in such a dark time for her, she had made the decision to reach out to him. She still had a ton of anger toward her dad, but there was a small part of Spencer that thought of him as the knight in shining armor he had been for her on many occasions. Knowing she wanted to let him in and being able to were two different things completely. It wasn't easy when you build up walls for protection to tear them down in an instant. Look at Ashley, it had taken her a long time to break through, but she had eventually. Maybe that was another reason why Spencer was holding back now. She might long to have her dad back, but that didn't mean she wasn't terrified of believing in him. She had a lot of experience being let down by the people she loved.
"The grounds here are really beautiful, why don't we go for a walk?" Arthur suggested. He could tell that there was something huge on his daughter's mind. If he pushed, he was almost certain she would pull away. He was going to let the blonde take the lead and hope that whatever was wrong, she would eventually be able to tell him what was going on.
"Sure," Spencer replied with a nod. She folded her arms across her chest as she followed her dad while he gave her a tour of as much of the facility that Spencer was allowed to see.
She listened to him talk and keep up the conversation for the both of him all the while thinking about Ashley. Half her mind was concentrating on trying to pay attention to what her dad was saying, while the other half was reliving the horror of the previous day.
"This is probably my favorite spot in this whole place." Arthur had stopped by a small stream that ran through the grounds. "Whenever we have free time I come here to be alone with my thoughts. It's really peaceful."
"It seems that way," Spencer said. She looked around but wasn't really seeing anything.
Arthur sat down on the grass and then motioned for the blonde to follow him. Once Spencer was settled in, he decided that he couldn't hold back any longer. "Spence, as much as I love having you here, something tells me you didn't come by just to see me. What's going on?"
Spencer started to randomly pick at the grass that was all around her. She wanted so much to be told that everything was going to be OK and to know for certain that her dad was going to be able to help her. She stayed silent as old feelings of anger and resentment fought their way to the surface.
"Is this about Ashley?" Arthur asked eventually. He had been wracking his brain trying to figure out what could possibly be causing Spencer this much agony. The expression on Spencer's face right then was almost identical to that day when the blonde had come home crying because Ashley didn't want to be friends anymore.
"Yeah," Spencer admitted with some reluctance.
Arthur was happy that he was at least on the right track. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Not really," Spencer said, but unlike most of her interactions with her dad over the last number of years she wasn't spewing venom at him. She felt too defeated to anyway. Besides, this wasn't actually his fault.
"I'm not going to pressure you, Spence, so if you want to talk, I'm here, but if you don't want to, then we can just sit here for a while and enjoy the view." Arthur wasn't trying to be soft, but he felt that if he took a hardline, it would be a terrible decision.
Spencer sighed, she wasn't going to stay silent for the remainder of the visit. She was just working up the nerve to start what she had come here to do. She appreciated that she wasn't being pressured; it was what finally allowed her to tell her dad everything. Well, a somewhat censored version of everything.
"Wow," Arthur said when Spencer was done. It was a lot of information to take in. Not only that, but he was also wrestling with his own guilt on hurting his daughter as much as he had. "I'm so sorry, Spence. I wish that hadn't happened to you."
"You and me both." Spencer didn't feel better having told her dad. She felt vulnerable, uncomfortable and she was waiting for something to go wrong. "Things would be so much easier if I didn't let the people that love me, hurt me like they do."
Arthur was once again compelled to ignore the gnawing guilt that the blonde's words caused. He sensed she wasn't trying to be deliberately malicious; she was just being honest. "When you love people, you give them the chance to hurt you."
"Then I shouldn't love anyone," Spencer said, bitterly. Look where that had gotten her. "It was so much easier when I didn't care."
"I don't think you've ever not cared. You might have convinced yourself that you didn't, but I think deep down and behind that temper of yours, you've always cared." Arthur hoped that what he was saying wasn't going to Spencer to close back up.
"What do you know?" she asked defensively. "What do you know about my life has been like. It's not like you've been around to be a father to me." As soon as the words were out of the blonde's mouth, she wanted to take them back. She didn't want to be angry and she didn't want to lash out. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Arthur held up his hand to cut the blonde off. "You don't have to apologize. You're right. But this isn't about you and me, this is about you and Ashley." When Spencer's shoulders visibly relaxed, he continued. "You know how I ended up in here?" He wasn't expecting an answer. "I'm here because I tried to avoid the pain of losing Clay." The blonde tensed right back up at the mention of her brother, but she didn't interrupt. "I thought that numbing that pain was the answer, but it wasn't. It only made things worse. I lost my family because I thought it would be easier to run away than face the world of hurt I was in."
It was hard for Spencer to admit that she could actually understand where her dad was coming from. She had been so busy being mad at him, that she didn't consider how much the two of them were a like. It didn't mean that she magically forgot all the mistakes he'd made. But it did allow her to empathize with him like she hadn't been able to before.
"The way that things ended with your mom was horrible. We parted in a terrible fashion, but I have never for one second regretted marrying her." Arthur could see how surprised Spencer was by the statement he'd just made. "If I hadn't married your mom, I wouldn't have you and Glen. How could I regret that? And as much as I miss Clay and will always miss him, I don't regret adopting him because he made our family complete. If you live your life shutting people out and avoiding from things that could hurt you, you will never get the chance to have things in your life that make you happier than you thought possible. They might not always make you happy, but there are never guarantees in life, Spence."
"So you think I should forgive Ashley, just like that?" Spencer wasn't being snarky when she asked her dad if that's what where he was going with that.
Arthur shook his head. "I'm not saying that at all. You have the right to be upset and you have the right not to let Ashley back in your life after what she did. But if you let fear rule your life, that's no way to live."
Spencer knew in theory her dad was right, but in practical terms it wasn't an easy concept to accept.
"We don't often regret the things in life that we do; we regret the things we don't do," Arthur continued. He had gotten a lot out of rehab and he was glad he was getting the chance to try and give his daughter some insight she might not have on her own. "I can't tell you what to do, and I don't even know what the right thing to do is. Only you can make that choice, because ultimately you'll be the one that has to live with whatever that choice is."
Spencer let what her dad had said sink in. All his advice made sense in her head. In her heart though she was still terrified and trying to cope with having her trust in Ashley shattered. "Thanks for listening to me," she said eventually.
"Thanks for giving me the chance to help," Arthur responded. He had so much more he wanted to get off his chest, but he held back. There would hopefully be time to keep repairing their relationship.
"How are you doing in here?" Spencer asked, she needed to shift the focus away from her for a bit.
"I'm good," Arthur assured the blonde. "I mean, some days are a lot harder than others, but I'm good."
Spencer guessed that this was probably the time she should tell him that she loved him. That wasn't going to happen. She might have reached out to her dad, but that didn't mean everything was fixed between them. That wasn't close to being true.
Spencer stood up and then put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "I should probably be going. We have a long drive back."
Arthur stood up as well. "OK, if you need anything or just want to talk you can always call me. Or come back if you want."
"Yeah, sure. I will."
The two of them walked back in silence. Spencer was mulling over what her dad had told her. It was a lot for her to digest. Arthur was trying to figure out if he should be telling even more things to the blonde. When they reached the foyer, the only thing they ended up saying to one another was goodbye with Spencer promising to be in touch. When she was almost out the door, she turned around to look back at Arthur. Although she was tempted to run back and give her a dad hug, Spencer settled for a small wave and a half smile.
Between not sleeping and the emotional toll that she'd endured, Spencer passed out shortly after Sean began their drive back. She was spent. The blonde woke up when they were almost home. She was still half out of it when they arrived at her house. When Spencer saw that Ashley was sitting outside on her doorstep, she was suddenly wide awake.
"I will tell her to go," Sean offered.
"No, it's OK. I'll meet you inside," Spencer replied. She was going to try and take what her dad had said about living in fear to heart. "I'll be fine," she assured Sean when she saw he was hesitant to leave.
Ashley stood up when Sean and Spencer got out of the car. She hoped that she wasn't going to be sent away. The brunette was so focused on Spencer that she didn't really notice the way that Sean had tried to stare her down as he walked by her.
"What are you doing here?" Spencer asked when they were alone.
"You weren't at school today," Ashley explained. "I was worried about you."
Spencer scoffed, she couldn't help herself. "I don't really think I'm your concern anymore."
Ashley didn't care that Spencer wasn't happy to see her. She was just relieved that the blonde wasn't ignoring her. "I'm so sorry, Spencer. I never meant to hurt you like I did." Ashley had practiced what she was going to say throughout the day. "Madison confronted me in the change room and I just panicked. I know it's not an excuse-"
"You're right. It's not an excuse," Spencer cut in. "This isn't Madison's fault, Ashley, it's yours."
"But you don't understand what she was saying to me, how she was threatening me." Ashley had to make Spencer see where she was coming from. "She had a video of us kissing and she was going to show everyone at school and-"
Spencer couldn't listen to Ashley any longer. "Do you think I don't understand what I walked in on? Do you think I don't get that Madison set that whole thing up? That's not even the point, she was trying to cause trouble and you made the decision to let her. So what if she had a video? So what? So then everyone would know we were together. Why is that such a horrible thing? You can blame Madison all you want, but she's not the reason why this is happening, you're the reason. You chose your reputation over me, just like you did before."
"No, I didn't!" Ashley exclaimed. Her apology wasn't going at all how she wanted it to go. Everything was twisted around. "I just had a moment where I made a mistake."
Spencer was calm as she spoke. "That wasn't a mistake, that was a choice and you chose wrong."
Ashley almost wished that Spencer was going off on her. The cool manner in which she was responding unnerved the brunette. "I'm not ashamed of you, or of us. I swear, Spencer, I will do anything to prove that to you. Do you want me to go to school tomorrow and stand up in the middle of the cafeteria and shout to everyone how much I love you? I will do that, I will do anything."
Spencer bit hard on her bottom lip. She could feel that the direction of this conversation wasn't going to end well. "You don't get it, do you? I never pressured you to be open about our relationship because I don't care what people at school think of me. What I cared about was what you thought about me. And when that was put to the test, you told Madison that I was nothing to you." The blonde's voice cracked. She didn't know how long she could keep it together. "What am I supposed to think? How am I not supposed to worry that deep down that's how you actually feel? I let you all the way in, Ashley, and that's what I got back in return."
Ashley was starting to tear up. "No, Spence, you're everything to me. I love you."
"I love you too, Ashley. That's not the problem," Spencer said, her eyes getting watery. She wasn't overreacting or putting walls up. This wasn't about pushing Ashley away or ignoring her problems. The depth to which Ashley hurt her was too great for her to just ignore it. "The problem is I don't believe you and I don't trust you anymore."
"Please, Spence, please, don't let this be it." Ashley couldn't face that what she'd done wasn't something she could fix.
"I have to go," Spencer replied, she couldn't take it anymore. She left Ashley standing outside, even though it broke her heart to do so. The tears that hadn't fallen before, were now rushing down the blonde's face.
Sean drew Spencer to him when he saw how hard she was crying. He felt her collapse into her arms the second he embraced her. "Is it time for ice cream and chick flicks now?"
Spencer managed to laugh through her tears. "Maybe it is." She was about to make another joke, but the tears started coming again. Now that Spencer had started crying, she felt like might never stop.
It was a long time before Ashley could drive back home. She was inconsolable as the reality of how much she'd messed up finally started to sink in. She had come to Spencer's today to figure out a way to make things better. Now, she had to face the reality that might never happen.
And that was never going to be OK.
:( *hugs all*