Another chapter of the tale of mystery.
FAMILY SECRETS
A HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE FANFIC
Chapter 59
After we arrived home I sent the talisman back to Lativa. I didn't need it anymore and I had promised to return it. I didn't plan to really ever use this power anymore anyway. It had caused too much trouble. I wished that it didn't even exist. That way people like my Grandfather and William wouldn't have been so obsessed with it. That way no one would have gotten hurt. I was just glad that it wasn't the reason why my father died. I don't think I could have handled it if was.
I wasn't too interested in talking that night. I had a lot on my mind. I kept thinking about everything that happened recently. All the pain, the worry, and the confusion. It just wouldn't let me go. I couldn't forgive myself for worrying all those people. It also didn't help that father's death was fresh in my mind again. Everything was ripped open and became raw once again. I hated myself for not helping him. Even though that was exactly what I had to do. Father's death was part of our history. I couldn't change it. If did then I may have never met Howl. Nor would I have saved him. Still, I couldn't help but feel guilty for choosing my own happiness over another's. Sure, father would have wanted that, but it still felt selfish. I wanted him to be happy and well. Not just me! I tried to let it go, but couldn't do it. It was too raw. I could barely sleep at all that night. By the morning I started to feel better. I realized that father was happy for me. I had a good life and a great family. That's all that he ever wanted. I should be happy for his sake. After all he worked tirelessly for our benefit. The least that we could do was be happy!
At least I was not responsible for his death. No one attacked father or cursed him. He just died of natural causes. Just as Fanny said. I did not have to bear that guilt anymore. He was not harmed to get at me. He just died, that's all. Something so ordinary that it was hard to believe. Nothing in my family ever worked like that. We were so far from normal. This proved that we were human after all. We weren't either demons or angels. We were just people trying to get through life. Sometimes we just fall down and that's okay. Because our family is there to pick us up. That thought relaxed me. It allowed me to get through my day a little easier. Luckily, Howl seemed very content to stick by my side today. That really helped. A part of me wondered if he was just guarding me, but I left it alone. It was nice to have him nearby. I had really missed him.
Shortly after mid-day Seus came into our shop. He seemed nervous and jumpy but he was here. I was grateful for that. I wasn't sure if he would come at all! I hastily shut down the store then invited him into the castle. Which Howl was not pleased with. I could feel his annoyance building. He did not want Seus there. Still, he let the man in. I am sure that it was to keep the peace. I would have killed Howl if he didn't. I could invite whoever I wanted. It was my home too!
I made my favorite tea, chamomile along with my favorite biscuits. I tried to carry on a lovely conversation with him, but it was hard to do that with Howl breathing down our necks. It was clear that he wanted Seus out of our home and our lives. He didn't see the redeemable features in the man. True, Seus was troubled, but he was fixable. He had proven that. I wanted to help him. I wanted to save him. Howl didn't see that. He could barely tolerate the man! He was not going to like what I was about to propose. Not that it would ever stop me. I believed that this was the right thing to do. It was only right to offer. Hopefully, Seus would like me up on my offer.
"Seus, what are you going to do now?"
For a moment he was in deep thought then he answered. "I don't know. I've been thinking about it for a while now. I was thinking about going home. Picking up the pieces of my life. But that doesn't seem right."
"How about staying here with us? You could help us in the shop and Howl could teach you magic!"
I think Howl nearly died after he heard that. "YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?" He yelled.
I'm going to hear about this one for weeks. I ignored him and continued, "What do you say?"
Seus thought about it for a moment then finally answered, "Thank you, but I will have to decline. I don't think that Howl and I would get on very well. Plus, I already know most of what I need to know. I don't think that this would do anything helpful."
"If it's because of Howl . . ."
He waved me off. "It's only some of it. I've been thinking about returning to Strangia. I really do like the country. A lot more than my native land in fact. Plus they really do need my help. Maybe I could find redemption there? That is what you were looking to accomplish, was it not?"
The man had seen straight through me. There was no point in arguing with him now. It was clear that he had mind made up already. All I could do was let him go. I tried. I stood up. "Take care of yourself, Seus. I hope that you find what you are looking for."
He stood then bowed. "As do I, Sophie. Take care and thank you." He bowed to Howl. "Wizard Howl." Then he left. I knew that I would never see him again. I think that a part of me I knew that even before I asked. His journey was his own. I may have started him on it, but I was not meant to follow him on it. He had to make his own way. It was time that I let him go. Besides, it was time that I got back to my own journey. I had Howl, Ben, my sisters, and my son to join me. That's all I ever needed. I just wanted to help another along the way. Maybe I already had. It was hard to say. Maybe one day he would be as famous as my husband! It was hard to say. For only time will tell.
End of story