Chapter 7: The Idiot's Lantern
"I'm sorry."
Rory simply stared at Luke. When the knock came at her door, he had been the very last person she'd expected to see. In fact, the sight of him made her panic, thinking that something had happened to her mom. Quite frankly, he looked terrible. It looked like he had thrown on the first clothes he could lay his hands on, and deep shadows were carved under his eyes. But instead, he'd handed her a thermos of coffee, a bag of cherry danishes, then told her about Jess.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I know I should of told you and your mom before I made the offer. Actually, your mom still doesn't know because I came straight here after he left."
Rory stared down at the thermos and the paper bag, where a small grease spot had formed on one side. Truly the sign of excellent danishes within. "No, no, it's good."
"Rory."
"He's your nephew," she said. "Of course you should do it."
Jess was his nephew, and they both knew she was the daughter Luke never had, but it still hurt. But she couldn't hide from Jess forever because of that very fact that they were practically related now. Ish. Not by blood, but her mom and his uncle were now living together, and somehow she would figure out how to be an adult and deal with him being around until Thanksgiving.
Today wasn't going to be that day.
It was a good thing coffee and danishes were the makings of a decent wallow.
Luke stared at his feet for a moment, then over Rory's shoulder at the dorm room. His brow furrowed. "Why does it look like a hotel in there?"
"Grandma," Rory sighed, and it explained everything. They exchanged small smiles of understanding, and she wondered if this was another hugging moment passing them by.
Luke motioned back toward the parking lot. "Anyhow, I need to be getting back. Sorry about all this. I just didn't want to tell you over the phone."
"That was really sweet of you." And it didn't hurt quite so bad because he'd gone to that effort. "You know Mom's going to murder you."
Luke sighed. "At least try to pick out a decent headstone. Nothing frilly."
"No promises, mister," Rory grinned.
"Exactly, yes, that's just the kind of thing we're looking for. Well, I'm so glad to hear that because the last three designers we met with had very different philosophies. Uh-huh. No, I didn't know you did the Silver Thatch Inn. Oh, that was so beautiful. Yeah. Okay. Well, why don't we, uh, meet, uh, Friday, say, around two o'clock? Okay. Luke's Diner. It's right in the middle of the town square. You can't miss it. Just follow the love. Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye."
Lorelai snapped her cell phone closed, tempted to take the call into the diner. But there was still enough good feelings lingering from Luke's birthday that she decided to give him a break, just this once. It would last until lunch. Satisfied with her decision, she pushed the door open and drew up short when she saw Jess behind the counter, accepting orders from Cesar in the kitchen.
"What're you doing here?" she asked, letting the door slam shut behind her.
Jess rolled his eyes and carried two plates of food to a waiting table. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
Lorelai followed him from that table back to the counter. "Where's Luke?"
"I dunno. You're the one sharing a bed with him." Jess moved behind the counter and ripped an order off his pad.
Lorelai braced herself on the counter. "Does he know you're here? Standing behind his counter? Serving his coffee?"
"Considering he's the one paying me, yeah, he knows." Jess smirked at her. "Mad he didn't get your permission first?"
Um. Yes, her inner voice told her, but she wasn't about to throw Luke quite under the bus yet. Besides, it would give Jess more ammunition. "What? He doesn't have to ask me before hiring someone at his diner. I have no say whatsoever in who goes on the employment rolls here."
"Glad to get that cleared up. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's actual customers trying to pay their bill." Jess looked around Lorelai's shoulder at the man waiting behind her, bill in hand. "Sorry about that. $7.56, please."
Lorelai stepped to the side, whipping around as the door opened and Luke all but ran in. "Sorry I'm … shit," he hissed, when he saw her.
"Didn't tell her, huh?" Jess asked, handing over change.
Luke pointed at him. "You, shut up."
"And how am I supposed to take orders if I'm not talking?"
"Take a sign language course," Luke snapped.
Lorelai stared at Luke, then at Jess, then back at Luke, and knew Jess was right. She was furious. She wanted to scream at Luke, wondered what the hell he was thinking by letting Jess back into their lives after everything he had done. But the eyes of the town were on her, and she had no desire to be part of their breakfast theater. Without sparing a glance at Luke, she shoved past him and out the door.
He started to call after her, but his own sense of self preservation kicked in thanks to the room full of people.
Next to him, Patty looked up from her breakfast and gave him a sympathetic look. "Oooh, she's mad. What did you do, honey?"
"It's nothing, Miss Patty," Luke snapped.
"Oh? Is nothing related to you and serving orders in the diner?" When Luke glared at her, Patty let it roll off. She patted his arm. "Take it from me. As interesting as hearing the two of you have it out in the diner would be, you probably want to be home for this one."
His anger deflated. It wasn't Patty's fault, and she was right. "You're right."
"Now, catch her before she gets the glue gun out. I hope you don't have any clothes you particularly like."
Lorelai decided to head for the Dragonfly on foot, because she was too furious to drive. The walk would do her good, and she could imagine every footstep as stomping on Luke's face. She was right there, sleeping inches from him when he decided to make that little punk the latest diner employee of the month. He could had taken two seconds to shake her awake, to let her form somewhat of an opinion. Did nothing Jess say the previous day matter? How could Luke allow himself to be abused like that again? And what of Rory. Oh god, Rory. What was she going to tell her daughter?
Her cell phone rang, and she nearly ignored it. She dug it out, saw Rory's name on the screen, and answered. "Hey!"
"Hi!" On the other side, Rory accepted coffee from her favorite barista at the coffee cart near her dorm and lifted it in thanks. She tucked her phone beneath her chin as she carried the coffee down the sidewalk, heading toward class. "I was just checking in to see how things were."
"They're fine! Everything's good here," Lorelai replied, breezily.
Rory frowned. "Uh huh. That extra note of false cheer in your voice tells me otherwise."
"Things are perfectly fine. I'm certainly not mad over certain people inviting their delinquent nephews to stay in town for Thanksgiving without consulting me first."
Rory sighed. "And that's what I thought. Mom, don't be mad at Luke."
Lorelai came to a stop, throwing out her arm dramatically. "Oh, I'm not mad. How can I be mad over the fact that Luke's extending yet another olive branch to a kid that has gone out of his way to hurt him and you, then hopes we'll all be the Waltons over Thanksgiving. Not to mention he doesn't breathe a word to me about it before I walk in the diner this morning to see him gone and Jess there."
"That's because he was here, Mom."
Lorelai gaped at the phone for a solid ten seconds before remembering that she actually had to speak into it to give Rory her reaction. "What?"
"Luke was here, Mom. He showed up on my doorstep around 6:30 with coffee, danishes, and enough apologies to make me think he was Canadian. I don't think I've ever seen him that contrite. Did he explain that to you?"
"… No." And some of that mad … OK, a good chunk of that mad … withered away. Oh, it would come back. But for now, Lorelai could perfectly see Luke trying to beg Rory's forgiveness with coffee and danishes, and her heart melted.
And she wanted a danish. Damn it.
"Mom, I'm OK with it. Really," Rory was hastily saying.
"Well, I'm not." Lorelai continued down the path heading to the Dragonfly.
"Mom, Jess is his family. What if I … say had a huge fight with you, stole a yacht, and dropped out of Yale? You'd give me another chance, wouldn't you?"
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Yes, because I'm contractually obligated to do so. Signed on the dotted line right as the drugs were wearing off."
Rory approached the building that housed her English class and took another sip of coffee. "It's the same thing with him. Jess is Luke's nephew, Mom. You don't give up on family. Besides, we're doing the Thanksgiving merry-go-round again, aren't we?"
Lorelai perked up. "That's right, we can just skip the diner this year!"
"We are not," Rory informed her.
"Oh, I'm sure …," Lorelai hedged.
"It's your first Thanksgiving as a couple! You saw how disappointed Luke was when we said we weren't going to be there last year, and now you're living together. It's six times worse!"
Rory was right, and Lorelai stared stonily at the inn in the distance.
"You're contractually obligated to do so. Signed on the dotted line when you gave him his own key," Rory twisted her words right back her. "Besides, how are you going to hold it over his head when Grandma insists he comes to Friday night dinner and you run out of excuses?"
"It still doesn't change what Jess did," Lorelai muttered.
"Hey, Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"What do you think if I invited Paris to Thanksgiving at the diner?"
For the first time since seeing Jess, Lorelai grinned. "My evil offspring. You make me proud."
Luke found her at the Dragonfly, discussing fixes to the floor and the stairs with Tom. He hung back as she talked, wondering if she knew how much he admired her for doing this. When he caught her eye, the frosty look in them was enough to have him hang back. He nodded to Tom, who took one look at him, then at her, then patted his arm in solidarity as he rejoined his crew.
"I'm sorry," Luke started as Lorelai approached him, but she jerked her head toward the back.
"You, me, stables," she ordered, and he had no choice but to follow.
If he remembered right, Lorelai was planning whether or not to get horses for the stables. He could see both sides of it. It'd be a good selling point, but the insurance and upkeep would be difficult. Not that he was a fan of the smelly things. He let those thoughts replace the guilt gnawing away at his gut as they crossed the grounds to the small outbuilding.
She wrestled the doors open, and they stepped into the musty semi-darkness. "Look, I know you're mad, but-" he started as soon as the door slid closed.
Lorelai spun to him, leaning back against the doors. "You told Rory."
"Yeah."
She placed her hands on her hips. "You told Rory before you told me. You drove to Yale so you could tell Rory and took her danishes and coffee."
"Yeah, I did." And he wasn't surprised one bit that Rory managed to get ahold of her. In a lot of ways, it made eating crow easier. "I was hoping to catch you before you went into the diner."
She stalked away from him, crossing her arms protectively over her chest as she stared through the gaps in the stable walls. "As pissed off as I am right now, I happen to think that was really sweet and considerate, so I'm not going to provide you as grumpy fertilizer for Jackson's squash."
Part of the guilty dread Luke had carried all morning crumbled away. "Thanks."
"He's your family."
"So are you." He started to reach for her, but wasn't sure if this was a reaching for her moment. Before he could follow through, she spun back around, the same fury he had seen the day before in her eyes.
"If he hurts you again …"
Luke managed a half smile. "I will look the other way and provide your alibi."
Lorelai gave a sharp nod. "OK."
"Are we OK?"
She took a couple of worrying moments before replying. "I don't like seeing him do this to you repeatedly. To Rory. I trust him less than I trust Donald Trump."
Luke snorted. "No one trusts that guy."
"Exactly."
"Lorelai …" Now he did reach for her, skimming a hand down her arm and felt the tense muscles. She didn't pull away when his hand closed around hers.
She sighed. "Look. I know you have to try. Because you're you, and no matter what Jess tried to claim, you're a good person. You don't give up on family." She didn't pull her arm away, but she changed the subject. "So, what do you think of horses?"
Luke almost pulled it back around, but he was learning when to table things with her. With a sigh, he contemplated the empty stalls. "Expensive and shits a lot," he decided.
Lorelai grinned. "So, horses equal babies."
"Basically."
She stared at him with a deeply intense look he'd seen on her before, curious and apprehensive at the same time. "Do you want one?"
"A horse or a baby?"
"Either."
Their words echoed in the stable, overlapping each other as his heart leaped into his throat. Not for the first time, he thought of a baby with her eyes. "Not really into horses. You know how I feel about kids."
"I remember. You said it would be a very short discussion."
Luke wondered if she was remembering the same thing he did, sitting on the bleachers during the stupid dance marathon, talking about kids. Lorelai hadn't known it was the most he had said on the subject ever. Talking about it with Rachel had been very short and to the point. Neither them had wanted kids. But now … "It would," he agreed.
"How short?"
And he just knew. Without a doubt. No hesitancy. He squeezed her hand until she looked up at him. "Yes."
The eyes he loved so much went wide with shock. "Yes?"
"One day," he clarified.
Her smile was tremulous and some of the fear he'd seen flash through them faded. "OK."
"Not right now," he hastily added.
"Definitely not right now," she agreed. "Maybe some day after you ask the question you don't dare breathe aloud because the walls have ears?"
"I think that'd be a good time to revisit the subject." They stared at the empty stalls and in their minds saw baby cribs.
Two days later, Lorelai nudged the door to the diner open with her shoulder, juggling Sadie, several books, her messenger bag, and her purse all in one go. She spotted a pair of empty tables and hastily dumped everything on one before pushing the other up next to it. As she had every day that week, and really the weeks prior as well, she spread out her things and took a good, long look at her decorating plans for the Dragonfly. Natalie, her choice for designer, was due to meet her at 2, and Sookie was planning to stop by before then.
Lorelai flipped her planner over to her to-do list and winced at the size of it. Right. She needed coffee before she could do anything else. She searched the diner for her knight in shining flannel, beaming as he crossed over to her with an empty mug, the coffee pot, and a scowl. Just the way she liked him. "Hey, babe. What's going on?"
Luke thumped the mug down and poured coffee into it. "Oh, well … Tom called. The banister on the stairs has to be replaced. It'll be $4,000. Tamsin Cordally called. He needs a deposit on the quartersawn oak. It'll be $4,000. Julio the landscaper called. I have no idea what he said, but it's going to be $4,000. Rory's looking for her black Converse, and, oh, one last thing: I'm not taking messages for you anymore!"
Lorelai shrugged it off as she took a sip of coffee and felt it down to her toes. Damn, the man served potent caffeine. Her toes curled. And other things as well. "Well, I'm definitely not nominating you friendliest concierge of the year. Michel may actually have a shot this time."
"What did you do? Put the diner's info on your business cards?"
She shrugged and started ordering the to do list. "People just know I'm here a lot. There's my really hot boyfriend and coffee. Where else would I be?"
Luke pointed out the door. "How about the big, empty house that's just a few minutes walk away?"
Lorelai jabbed her pen at him. "See, big and empty are the two reasons why I'd rather be here than there. Did I mention really hot boyfriend?"
"You're gonna call all these people and tell them to call your cellphone, not me!" Luke stalked away, and Lorelai blew a raspberry after him.
"Dating you is getting me nowhere." She called after him. "Oh, hey, did a package arrive for me here today?"
Luke spun around and snarled at her. "Lorelai."
Her toes curled again and, briefly, she wondered if an afternoon quickie could be added to the list. She did love pushing him to his limits.
The bells jangled as Sookie made her way into the diner just as Luke stormed back into the kitchen. "Hey! Are you two fighting or flirting?"
"It's interchangeable," Lorelai admitted and Sookie grinned, taking one of the empty seats.
"I'm so glad to be out of the house. I love Davey and I love Tobin, and he's been a godsend as a nanny, but I need a break. So, let's talk kitchens!"
They set to work, going over outlines of what they needed to order, catalogs opened and items circled. At some point, a plate of food appeared at Lorelai's elbow with her usual cheeseburger and chili fries, and she took enough time to give an admiring look at her boyfriend's back. Well, maybe she wouldn't commandeer that third empty table after all.
Sookie slowly chewed on the turkey sandwich that had appeared at her side. "I was thinking of going with the Avery stove, if we've got the budget for it."
"Yeah. I split the money we have, focusing on the stuff we need to order now to have it here in time for the May opening, and the money we need to spend now." Lorelai made some notes on Sadie, then pressed enter on the spreadsheet. The number decreased by a startling amount, and Lorelai quickly reran the calculation. When the same result appeared, her stomach twisted into knots. She turned the screen away from Sookie. "I'm starting to second-guess myself about the May timeline a little bit."
"I know we're a little late, but six months is plenty of time for the Avery." Pleased, Sookie didn't notice the subtle look of panic on Lorelai's face and kept flipping through her catalog. "How's it going with the designer search?"
"I've narrowed it down to the one coming in at 2, but this is her estimate." Lorelai pulled a sticky note from her planner and showed it to Sookie.
She let out a low whistle. "That's a lot of zeroes."
Lorelai frowned at the Post-It. "All of them have lots of zeroes after their names. We have a decent seed account, and Mia's money is definitely helping, but man."
"We could start doing the catering again," Sookie suggested.
Lorelai nearly leaped at it. They had catered a few events during the fall before Sookie gave birth, and it had added money to their funds. But … "Davey's barely a month old, Sook. You need to take some time to be with him."
"Well, it'll all work out. Oooh, what do you think of this mixer?" Sookie turned her catalog toward Lorelai, and her stomach pitched again.
"Add it to the budget."
Some old habits died hard. Even though he lived with Lorelai now, Luke still preferred to take care of the books in his old apartment. It had originally been an office anyhow, so it made sense. And it still got some use. His bed was barely three months old, and Lorelai demanded it had to be kept in working condition. Said working condition involved naps and … naps. He didn't mind either since both involved her. Being a phone messenger boy was one thing, but this, well. He didn't mind missing calls from the meat guy while they took a nap. Except Jess was staying there now, so that put the kibosh on any afternoon interludes for the time being.
Luke sat at the table, going over numbers and poring through receipts as Jess sauntered into the room, then the bathroom. He fiddled with his pencil, the numbers blurring a bit before finally tossing it aside as the toilet flushed and the sink ran. Seconds later, Jess came out, wiping his hand on a towel before tossing it back into the bathroom. He plopped down on the sofa and picked up a copy of the Da Vinci Code he had left there.
Luke took a deep breath, then let it out slowly before pushing away from the table. "We need to talk."
"About?" Jess asked absently, not bothering to look up from his book.
"Kyle's party."
Jess shrugged and turned a page. "You're still hung up over that? Look, dock my pay for restitution. It just means I'm sticking around here longer."
"It's not that." And here's where it's about to get messy, he thought. "It's about what happened with Rory."
That got Jess' attention. He jerked up straight, looking at Luke for the first time since walking in the apartment. "It's none of your business."
"I'm making it my business." Unable to sit, Luke pushed up from the table and started to pace. "Did you even think I'd let this slide once I figured things out?"
"Yeah, yeah, we all know Rory's the kid you never had. Gonna get out your shotgun and threaten me like a good dad does?"
Luke whipped around, jabbing his finger at Jess. "Let me make this clear. No matter who you're with, if they say stop, you stop. If they even think like they're about to say stop, you stop. If I find you doing something like that to a girl … anyone again, they won't need to call the cops. I'll have taken care of the matter. You hear me?"
"Crystal." Jess spat out, then shoved his nose back in his book.
Luke closed his eyes, trying to reign in his anger. He needed to get out of there. He took two steps toward the door.
"I didn't mean it," Jess muttered.
And that was enough to make him turn back. "Yeah, well, you've got to learn that the bigger head's always the one in charge, even if the other one is claiming otherwise."
Jess lowered his book, and for the first time in a long time, a flash of vulnerability showed that made Luke think of the lost child Jess had been. "How do you know?"
Luke thought of a warm night in Rome, of midnight blue lingerie, of blissful dreams turned reality as Lorelai's hands had moved over him, of how he couldn't stop smiling. "Let her take the lead. Even if you start it, she'll let you know if she wants you to continue. It's all about them, no matter who you're with. You have to put their needs above your own. If you're lucky, you'll find your partner's feeling the same way about you and everything just works."
"How do I make it better?" Jess asked.
Luke folded his arms over his chest, banishing those cherished memories to the back of his mind. "Apologizing's a start."
"I already told Rory I was sorry."
"I'm not just talking about Rory. Who do you think she told about all of this?"
The vulnerability on Jess' face was replaced with fury. "Lorelai didn't need to know. You didn't need to know. It's none of your business, either of you. Rory and I were adults when we were at that party, and it's between us, so just butt out." Jess tossed the book aside and pushed past Luke to storm out of the apartment. The door slam echoed through the room as Luke stared after his nephew, wondering if he had failed him once again.
"Lorelai?"
She pushed her glasses onto her forehead, blinking as the world went fuzzy. She had taken out her contacts as soon as she'd gotten home, hoping their absence would alleviate the pressure headache that had been building all day. It had, somewhat. The true cause, she suspected, lay in the paperwork that was strewn about the kitchen table again. She stared at the spreadsheet open on Sadie and the decreasing number of zeroes that marked the Dragonfly's available balance.
Next to the computer lay a smaller stack of papers. Her own bills. She had spent the afternoon on the phone changing the cable package, dropping magazine subscriptions, and putting the kibosh on any recurring subscriptions she had. She nearly changed the family cell plan she and Rory shared, but she couldn't sacrifice that life line with her daughter. More people were giving up landlines, and that was a thought, but her mother would have a fit.
Lorelai fingered the gas bill and thought of shutting off some of the vents. Then there was Christmas. It wouldn't be the first time she turned to homemade gifts to get her and Rory through a holiday.
Or, her common sense told her, you could ask Luke to help with the bills.
Lorelai heard her name again and shoved the bills under the laptop. No, she wasn't going there. Luke was helping enough. He paid for their groceries, and he had stopped charging her when she came into the diner. The money saved on food alone helped immensely, and the refrigerator had never been better stocked. She didn't want him to think she only wanted him living with her to help out with money. She could manage it.
"In the kitchen," she finally answered, replacing her glasses as he walked in juggling a box and a plastic bag. Tantalizing scents of Italian wafted, and her stomach growled.
"Here's your package and here's dinner," he announced, dumping both on the counter when he saw that the table was occupied.
"Oooh, thanks." Lorelai considered clearing the table and discarded it. They could eat in the living room. She got up to help him plate their food.
"What's all this?" He asked as she opened a bottle of wine and poured out glasses for both of them."
"Budgeting." Lorelai tossed the table a disdainful look and led them into the living room, carrying both glasses of wine. "I wish I was Scrooge McDuck in his money bin. You know. DuckTales. Woo-oo?"
Luke followed with their plates. "I wasn't a little kid in the '80s."
"I don't think you were ever a little kid." She looked up in time to see the eye roll from him, and her worries over the bills lessened just a bit. He sat on the couch while she set the wine glasses down and doubled back into the kitchen for silverware.
"I talked to Jess about the party," Luke said over his shoulder as she walked back, carrying forks.
"Oh?" Lorelai lingered by one of the vents. When she was sure he wasn't looking at her, she leaned over, flipped it off, and hastily ran back to the couch. "Which one's mine?"
"Linguine with meatballs."
He handed her the plate and she cooed over it before immediately spearing one of the meatballs. She chewed thoughtfully, then steered the conversation back on course. "So, good talk then?"
"It's Jess, so take it with a grain of salt." Luke cut off a piece of chicken scallopini. "I had to say something. He can't go around doing this to any girl, you know? It's not even just about Rory at this point." He stared at his food, then set the plate on the coffee table. "Hell, I never stopped to think of what he's learned about sex over the years. Hiding that Shawna or whatever her name was in the closest should of tipped me off more."
Lorelai twirled linguine around her fork. "You did tell him not to shove a girl in the closet, right?"
Luke scowled. "Of course I did!"
She waved said fork at him. "And you tried to tell him how to treat women then too, right?"
"I was Ward Cleaver and everything!"
"And Ward looked amazing in plaid, I'm sure." Lorelai popped her food in her mouth as Luke glowered at her. "The conversation went very well, I take it."
He stared down into his glass of wine for so long that she wondered if he was going to tell her any more about it. He finally took a large swallow before admitting, "We wound up fighting about you."
Intrigued, Lorelai abandoned her own dinner. "Oh, see, here's the interesting part."
Luke toyed with the stem of the wine glass, unable to quite look her in the eye. "I really took a long time, didn't I?"
"Seven years is a bit of a lead time before starting a relationship, but we got there." She laid a hand over his, squeezing until he properly looked at her. "Hey, look, it's a two-way street. There could had been any time over the past few years I could have asked you to dinner. You know, like when we were playing cards to let Jackson and Sookie have their date. Or when we were painting the diner."
"Or when you wore that ridiculous outfit the day Rory started Chilton. The cutoffs and the cowboy boots."
"Really?" Desire curled in her gut, and the rest of the tension from her hours spent with the books slipped away. "I always wondered. I can recreate it if you'd like."
His eyes flashed, and she knew at that moment that the rest of their dinner would become excellent leftovers for the next day. "Merry Christmas to me," he murmured, setting the wine glass aside so he could reach for her.
Necking on the sofa, Lorelai decided a few minutes later, was far better than budgeting. And who needed all the heating vents on when they were clearly overly warm? Luke's flannel was on the floor, and her sweater was somewhere … well it was somewhere. She stretched on top of him as they kissed, his hands cupping her ass through her jeans as his lips found the spot on her neck that made her moan every single time his tongue laved over it.
"It's not even Thanksgiving yet," she managed to remind him between kisses.
He patted her butt. "Who was the one who demanded a gift for every day on the advent calendar?"
She smirked. "That's what they're for. Pre-gifting gifting!"
He rolled his eyes, then suddenly began to laugh.
A little put off, she pushed herself onto her elbows. "What's so funny?"
"Remembering you being nailed like a two by four by a group of sixteen-year-olds."
She pinched his side in retaliation, pleased when he jumped. "Yeah, some help you were. How much of that did you hear anyhow?"
"Oh, I left when you threatened to make it rain condoms in the classroom." He kissed her again, long and deep, until her sense of righteous indignation had dissipated and her bra somehow became unhooked. "You didn't need me to stick up for you, Lorelai. I was enjoying your take down of them."
"That's true." She lightly punched his bicep, then sat up to peel the bra off. "But next time, solidarity, OK?"
His hands slid up her ribcage, and she closed her eyes on a long moan. "Fine, I'll play the party horn while you toss the condoms."
"That's more like it." She leaned down to kiss him again.
Rory arrived home the day before Thanksgiving with two baskets of laundry and a detailed agenda for the next day, which she promptly tacked to the refrigerator. She was quite pleased with herself. Once again, they were squeezing in four Thanksgiving meals, but some clever negotiation with the grandparents had resulted in theirs being first and the one at the diner last. She even extended an invitation to that one behind her mother's back, hoping for some sort of bridge between her grandparents and her mom and Luke. While Grandpa had looked thoughtful, Grandma immediately declined.
The house was empty, probably because Liz and her boyfriend had arrived in town and her mom was down at the diner helping them get settled into Luke's old apartment. Rory shoved laundry into the washer, dug out her copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and headed to the gazebo for a good read.
She kicked leaves absently as she strolled down the sidewalk, face buried in the text as she re-read the discovery of the Room of Requirement and the founding of Dumbledore's Army. Almost on auto-pilot, she headed up to the gazebo and sank onto one of the benches.
Rory was close to the end of the chapter when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked up to see Jess crossing the town square from the diner, a large go-cup of coffee in his hand. Her throat immediately seized, and every part of her wanted to leap from the bench and run for the safety of home. But, damn it, this was her town. She wasn't going to run.
She had plenty of time to think about things in the 15 days since Luke's birthday. She replayed her entire relationship with Jess from start to finish, picking it apart and putting the pieces back together. She even sought Paris' opinion and was rewarded to a healthy rant about how all men were deficient in one area or another. Rory took her time placing her bookmark among the pages and closed the cover as Jess walked up the stairs to look down at her.
"Hey."
"Hi." There. That was a perfectly cordial beginning.
Jess held the cup out. "Coffee?"
There was no reason not to accept it. Besides, it was Luke's coffee. Rory took it. "Thanks."
Jess shuffled from foot to foot. Instinct had her almost inviting him to sit down, but she stopped herself just in time.
"Look. About Kyle's party," Jess began.
"Jess, we don't have to talk about it," Rory replied.
Jess scowled. "Yeah. Yeah, we do. You didn't deserve any of that, OK?"
Rory looked down at the lid of her cup, the desire to drink it suddenly gone. "It hurt worse you didn't tell me where you were going. I thought we were better friends than that. Even if we hadn't been dating, I thought you respected me enough to tell me you were going to see your dad."
"Yeah, and what would you have done?"
The anger she hoarded over the months leaked out as she glared at Jess. "You think I don't know what it's like to want your dad to actually look at you and see you, not your mom?"
Jess shrugged. "At least he cared enough to show up every now and again."
"He didn't even come to my high school graduation," Rory snapped. "He didn't, and you didn't, and I wanted you both there."
Jess threw his hands in the air before resting them on his hips, looking so much like his uncle that pointing it out would just make him angrier. "I don't know how to make this up to you."
"I don't think you can," Rory addressed her coffee cup, then took a deep breath. She made herself look Jess in the eye, because she wasn't a coward. She couldn't be about this. If she learned anything from Dean, she had to play it straight. "I can't date you again, Jess."
Jess started to reach for her, but immediately jerked his hand away. He pushed it through his hair instead. "I still love you. We can make it work."
Tears threatened, and it took all of her self control not to let them show. "I'm sorry."
Jess stared down at the ground, and for a moment, Rory wondered if he was about to cry as well. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then it snapped shut. He huffed a bit. "Look, I just wanna let you know that I'll be gone by the time you're done for the semester. I just wanted to see …"
"I'm sorry," she repeated.
Jess nodded to her. "All right. Take care, Rory."
"Take care, Jess," she said to his back as he retreated back toward the diner. She hugged her book to her chest and stared at the stars, expecting to feel an overwhelming crush of sadness. Instead, all she felt was relief.
Author's note: I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! A month of travel followed by two weeks of being ill was not conductive to fic writing.