This chapter is dedicated to lots-and-lots-of-coffee on Tumblr, who has been wanting to see more of this story for ages. This one's for you!

Chapter 9: The Christmas Invasion

OK. Lorelai was ready. She was the most ready of readies. She was as ready as she was ever going to get. She straightened the hem of her red party dress and did a mental survey. Acceptable, yet flirty dress? Check. Best daughter on the planet bearing the token gift they were expected to give despite the fact they were related to the hosts? Check. Hot boyfriend staring at the house like it was about to eat him? Well … might want to get him to at least close his mouth.

Lorelai leaned into him. "Why are you gawking?"

Luke made an absent gesture with his hand, succinctly summing up the excessiveness of the house with one wave. "I've only been here the one other time, and I didn't get a good look then because you were too busy shoving me inside. This place is huge!"

"It's pretty impressive," Rory agreed.

"Don't linger too long, or it'll trap you like a siren," Lorelai muttered and rang the bell.

The maid of the week opened the door, and there were so many people clustered into the foyer that she didn't even bother to ask about her name. She efficiently whisked their coats and the gift away, and maybe, just maybe that maid had a chance of making it to the new year.

Luke stared after the maid, culture shock in full effect. "There wasn't a maid here last time."

"That's because Mom fired her between when Dad came to Stars Hollow to get us and when we got here. You know Murphy Brown and the secretaries? Mom puts her to shame." Lorelai didn't bother to point out the half-dozen maids that had come in the weeks since. Instead, she grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him toward the living room with an amused Rory trailing behind them.

"Where are we going?"

The closest thing to heaven this house would ever have - the drinks cart. "Alcohol. Lots of it."

Proving that anyone with the name "Lorelai" was indeed one smart cookie, Trix was sitting on the couch closest to the cart. "Hello, Lorelai," she said as Lorelai began assembling a martini for herself.

"Hey, Grandma," she absently replied, surveying the array of drinks. She went for the Scotch, pouring a splash into a glass and pushing it into Luke's hands. "Here."

He frowned into it. "Scotch?"

"Expensive Scotch." She clinked her glass to his. "Hope you like it."

"So, is this your young man, Lorelai?" Trix spoke from where she was eying Luke critically.

Let the games begin. Lorelai fought the urge to down the martini in one gulp, but out of everyone in her family, her grandmother ranked on the safer end of the scale. Besides, Luke was already putting his drink down to take Trix's hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Gilmore," he said.

Trix grabbed hold of his hand and turned it, inspecting the palm and the fingernails closely. "Look at your shoulders. They're very broad. And these are a working man's hands. Richard tells me you own a restaurant in Stars Hollow."

"Well." Luke tried to ease his hand away, but Trix's hold was like a vice. He gave up the struggle.

"Town diner," Lorelai cut in. "Extremely popular. Happening place right there. Why, people practically live there."

"One person in particular," Luke muttered under his breath, and Rory giggled. Traitor, Lorelai thought.

Trix finally let go and gave him a firm nod. "You are a go-getter. I like those. How old were you when you went into business for yourself?"

"Ah … 26."

"And that was?"

"11 years ago."

"Are you really using this method to ask Luke his age, Grandma?"

"Lorelai, I am talking to your young man," Trix admonished her, and to prove her point, angled her body to shut her out. "Tell me, where did you get your degree from?"

"Grandma."

"It's all right," Luke reassured her. "I never finished college. My dad was sick, so I dropped out to take care of him."

Trix frowned. "Education is important."

"Yes, it is," he agreed.

"But family is more important." Trix straightened, grasping the end of her cane in a way that made it look like she was about to get up, but Lorelai knew better. "I have looked into you. You are worthy to take care of my granddaughter. You are in a stable financial situation, you have investments in local real estate, and my daughter-in-law can't stand you. You have my blessing."

"Thank you," Luke said with appropriate gravity, and the knot in Lorelai's stomach loosened. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad evening after all. Sure, her own mother was largely a lost cause, but if they could get through an evening of idle chatter with the Harvard elite with this amount of politeness, maybe it would be just a 2-martini night.

"And Lorelai?"

"Yes, Grandma?"

"I want to be there when you tell your mother the two of you are living together. I have a bet on how many shades of purple her face is going to turn."

Rory chortled, and Lorelai shot her a look that clearly told her to zip it as Luke went pale next to them. She grabbed his arm and steered him away from Trix.

"And that's my grandmother."

"I like her. I don't know why, but I do."

"You clearly don't have enough alcohol in you."

Luke frowned at her. "You didn't tell your mother we're living together?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Not in so many words."

"Christ, Lorelai."

"I mean, she asks how you are, because it's the top rule in the politeness book. You know, inquire about my health, about Rory's, about her daughter's boyfriend that she would gladly trade in for an upgrade if she could. She never specifically asked me if we were living together." Lorelai squeezed his arm. "Look, you can be pissed at me, but it was for the good of the order. Just remember how well my mom took the news that we were traveling Europe together with Rory."

Luke downed back half the Scotch. "At least tell her before we have two kids or something like that."

"What about the kitten?"

"The kitten isn't our child."

"Funny, the 2 a.m. feedings sure make it feel that way."

Lorelai's gaze flittered toward the door as it opened once more, and a small jolt of surprise went through her as two of the last people she expected at a Gilmore Christmas party these days walked inside. Handing her martini to Luke, she walked over to greet Christopher and Sherry. "Hey, you!"

"Lor, hey!" Chris beamed at her as he handed off his coat to the maid.

"Hey, Sherry!" Lorelai turned to her. She hadn't seen Sherry since G.G.'s birth, and she quickly noticed that Sherry had had a much easier time dealing with post-pregnancy weight than she had.

"Hey, Lorelai!" Sherry smiled at her with genuine warmth, which never failed to make her feel slightly off-kilter. It was still 17 different kinds of weird that Chris' wife thought highly of her, especially given the little interlude she and Chris had when he had broken it off with Sherry.

"What brings the two of you here?"

"We got an invitation. It was even made out to both of us."

"It's really very sweet, and we brought your mother a fruit basket to thank her."

Lorelai motioned toward the small room just off the foyer. "Well, you can just put it over there with all the other fruit baskets."

Like a ghost materializing out of thin air, Emily appeared at Lorelai's side, causing her to jump. "Christopher! It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you again too, Emily. This is my wife, Sherry." Chris gestured her forward so Sherry could shake Emily's hand.

"So nice to finally meet you." Emily took Sherry's hand briefly and let it slide away quickly in a gesture that Lorelai well recognized. Sherry was not on the Emily Gilmore approval list. "Won't you have a drink?"

"What's with the face?" Chris asked as Emily escorted Sherry to the drinks cart.

"Why is my mother being having that way to Sherry? Well, nice in a way that a barracuda is before leaping on its prey."

"You know the language of the Hartford elite. I warned Sherry about it. C'mon, let's get you a drink. Where's your guy?"

Still guarding her martini, she hoped. Lorelai glanced quickly over her shoulder to see Luke where she left him, holding both drinks and giving Chris a dark look that spoke of no good. "How do you know about Luke?" she asked as she followed Chris to get a drink.

"Contrary to popular opinion, I do keep in touch with my kid. There's this thing called email. Pretty handy. Where is he anyhow?"

"He was just …," Lorelai started to say, but Chris looked over her shoulder and spotted Luke in the corner.

"Giving me the beady eye."

"Chris."

"Wasn't expecting that." He assembled components for a mixed drink, and Lorelai sighed.

"The last time he saw you, you were yelling at me in the middle of his diner," she pointed out.

"Huh. Forgot about that."

Rory bounced over at that point, catching Chris' sleeve. "Hey, Dad!"

"Hey, kid!" He gave her a one-armed hug and Lorelai left her to him.

She weaved her way back to the crowd to Luke's side and took the martini from him. "Stop looking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're going to punch him." Lorelai gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder as she sipped at her martini. "You haven't even really talked to him."

"He hasn't really endeared himself to me over the years."

"You know there's nothing between us anymore other than Rory, right?"

"I know." The words sounded like they were ripped from his throat.

"OK. Come on." Lorelai all but dragged him over to where Chris, Sherry, and Rory were gathered.

"There you are, Lorelai, I've been looking for you."

Lorelai silently congratulated herself. She managed to evade her mother for a whole 36 minutes. It helped that she had a shiny toy in the form of her boyfriend, who managed to move past the whole deer-in-headlights look to a state of numbness. In the space of that half hour, Luke had been sized up, sized down, and had his ass pinched at least three times. After the third, he shoved his Scotch glass in her hands and fled for the upstairs bathroom - more to escape than anything.

She really didn't blame him. It was a trick she utilized often.

Lorelai was plotting how to get Luke into her childhood bedroom for some vastly inappropriate activities when Emily materialized at her shoulder, a man with a DSLR tripod over one shoulder just behind her. Emily motioned to Richard's office, and the man disappeared inside.

"What's with the photographer, Mom?" Lorelai asked.

"Oh, I decided that since this is the 25th Christmas party we've thrown that we would commemorate it. And, I thought while the photographer was here that we could get some family photos since we are all dressed up."

Huh. Lorelai nodded thoughtfully. "That actually makes a lot of sense."

Emily smiled in a way that made Lorelai realize that she had just waltzed herself right into a trap. "I'm glad you agree. He's setting up now in your father's study. If you can get Rory and Christopher and meet us in there, we can get your family out of the way."

Warning bells blared in Lorelai's head. "Rory and Christopher?"

"Well, yes? Who else?" Emily strode toward Richard's office.

Lorelai fell in step behind her. "Not Luke and Sherry."

"They're not necessary." Emily motioned to where the photographer was setting up his equipment. "I want that portrait in the wall in the background, please, and we'll do another set in front of the tree."

"Mom! You can't just leave them out!" Lorelai protested as she weaved around the photographer.

"I would like a photograph together of my granddaughter with her parents. The last I checked, neither Luke nor Sherry are Rory's parents."

"Yes, and you got that two years ago when you guilted Rory into going through her debut." It actually wasn't a horrible photo. The official photographer for the ball had herded Lorelai, Chris, and Rory into a standard posed photo that wound up costing an arm and a leg. There really hadn't been any more opportunities for a family photo since. The last logical time would had been Rory's graduation, but Chris had skipped it - like he had so many important milestones in his daughter's life.

Emily rolled her eyes. "And as you point out, it was two years ago. Rory's in college now. It's the perfect time for a new picture."

"No, Mom, I see what you're doing. It's one thing when Chris and I are by ourselves with Rory, but we both have other people with us. Not just dates, but long-term partners."

"Who aren't Rory's parents, so they should understand why the photo should just be the three of you." Emily turned her back to Lorelai to continue the photo setup.

"No. Not playing this game." And Lorelai knew exactly what her mother was doing. She didn't mind having a photo of her, Chris, and Rory. It was the fact that her mother was purposefully doing it in front of Luke and Sherry, to cruelly remind them that neither of them were in Emily Gilmore's idea of a perfect family for her daughter.

"Lorelai, don't be unreasonable."

"No, Mom, being unreasonable is staging a photo of what you feel is a happy family in front of two people who care for Rory very much." No matter how strange she felt about Sherry, Lorelai was quite sure that she cared for Rory.

Emily sighed. "There's no guarantee that they'll be there for Rory in six months, a year, or longer."

Lorelai motioned at the door. "Yes, they will! Mom, Luke has been there for her since she was 11. God, she didn't even know him and he went to her caterpillar's funeral because she asked. I think nearly eight years is a damn good track record. And Sherry is Rory's stepmother! There's legal paperwork and everything!"

"Lorelai, the photographer is waiting."

"Well, you're just going to have to put in a cardboard cutout for me, because I'm not participating." Lorelai pivoted, marching for the door, not caring that the party had all but stumbled to a halt as the argument escalated and that several people had clustered around the door - including Luke and Rory.

Bypassing the coats, Lorelai slammed out the front door and hitched her breath when she saw the Jeep was blocked in. Not to mention she lacked her purse, her coat, her car keys, her kid, and her boyfriend. She rubbed her arms, the cold finally penetrating for the first time.

She heard the door softly open behind her, then a familiar scent as Luke draped his suit jacket around her shoulders. She clutched the lapels together. "I knew this was going to happen. She was going to do something like this, I knew it in my bones."

"It's all right."

"How much did you hear?" Lorelai asked.

Luke shrugged. "Enough."

Code for pretty much everything. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged again. "To be honest, I kind of was expecting something like this."

She leaned into him. "I want to go home."

Behind them, the front door opened and Chris poked his head out. "Hey."

Lorelai managed a half-smile, but thankfully Chris wasn't someone she had to really pretend around. "Hey, Chris."

Chris opened the door wider, gesturing toward the hall. "Um … sorry about in there."

"Not your fault." Great. Either Rory told him or he overheard himself. Granted, the way she and her mother were yelling by the end, Lorelai wouldn't be surprised if they were heard in Stars Hollow. "Did Sherry overhear?"

"Nah, she was in the bathroom." Chris shoved his hands in his pockets. "I just want you to know I had nothing to do with this."

"You were blindsided just as much as I was. Where's Rory?" Lorelai peered over his shoulder.

"Placating your mother." Chris shifted his gaze to Luke. "Sorry."

"It happens," Luke replied, but Lorelai felt him go still beside her. She was tempted to rub his arm until he calmed down, but she had to admit that Chris hadn't endeared himself in the past.

"Family, huh?" Chris nodded to the blocked-in cars. "You're not leaving anytime soon. Why don't I get Sherry and Rory and we get a drink?"

Now there was a good idea. "Poolhouse?"

"Meet you there."

One thing that always blew Luke's mind about rich people was their need for multiple houses. On one level, he got it. He owned a cabin on the lake that he had inherited from his dad. But on another level, rich people felt the need to put multiple houses on the same property. Like mother-in-law apartments. Or in this case, a pool house. Because clearly rich people needed a separate house just for the pool.

He had followed Lorelai, Chris, Rory, and Sherry into the place, and it took all of 10 minutes before he slipped out the side door and onto a porch that overlooked the pool. That sick, twisted feeling was back in his gut, that sense of not being wanted. It felt like Rome all over again, even though he knew full damn well how Lorelai felt about him.

Truth was, Emily didn't need to stage a family photo to make Luke feel inadequate about his role in Lorelai and Rory's lives. Just seeing them together with Chris was enough to make him want to punch a wall. It didn't help that the elder Gilmores, or at least Emily, still were fixated on Christopher Hayden being the missing component of Lorelai's nuclear family. He felt weirdly needy and hoped the mess of cars would clear out soon so he and the girls could go home.

Behind him, the door opened with a soft click. Christopher Hayden stepped outside, two bottles of beer in hand. "So the conversation turned to Sephora and I decided it was time for a breather. Need another?"

"No, I'm good." Luke held up his own bottle of beer, barely touched. He took a swig and refocused on the pool.

Chris set the spare bottle of beer on the table. "I never imagined Lor dating someone so … quiet."

Luke shrugged. His capacity for small talk had petered out at least an hour ago.

"Not the biggest fan of me, huh?"

Luke stared at him. "I hardly know you."

"No, you've hardly seen me in person, but you know of me. Just like I know all about you. Been in your place a few times, coffee's great. And the girls." Chris waved toward the pool house. "They can't stop talking about you. Every time I talk to Lor or Rory, they've been in your place, you've fixed something around the house, you made a cake for Rory's birthday, so on and so forth. It was easy to tell when you two got together. She suddenly stopped talking about you. Lorelai that is. Rory filled me in." Chris took a pull from his beer. "Look, I know I put her through the wringer a time or two."

"A time or two?" Luke repeated, the bitterness seeping through.

"But I'm glad she's happy. Sherry and I have our issues, but Lorelai has never been one of them."

"Does she know about last year?"

"You know about that?" Chris huffed. "No. But, we also weren't together at the time. I left Stars Hollow, went and talked to her, and we decided to give it another shot."

"Yet you wouldn't for Rory."

"You weren't there." Chris snapped. "All you people pass judgment on us, but you weren't there. You weren't 16 and scared shitless because your 15-year-old girlfriend just found out she's pregnant."

"No. I was 17 when I found out my sister was pregnant and was still scared shitless because the prize she picked up at the Weinerschnitzel bailed on her when my nephew was a year old, and she only had me and my dad," Luke shot back. "And then my dad got cancer. So you think your problems are worse than everyone else's?"

Something dark flashed in Chris' eyes. "I have been there for Rory in the past couple of years."

"Really, huh? Where were you when she graduated high school? Started college? Got the chicken pox? She wouldn't eat anything but mashed potatoes for a week!" Done with this, Luke marched back toward the poolhouse

"Look, I know I messed up, but I'm fixing it with G.G," Chris called after him.

"Unbelievable." Luke jerked the door open with such force that it nearly came off the hinges and stormed back into the house.

Lorelai's eyebrow winged as Luke stormed across the small living room of the poolhouse and out the front door. "Okay," she drawled, putting down her drink slowly as Chris walked back in the room. "What did you do, Chris?"

"Nothing. I was just talking with him." Chris grabbed the rest of Lorelai's drink and downed it. "I kinda want to hate him."

"Chris," Lorelai said in a warning tone.

"But the guy's crazy about you, so I can't hate him that much," Chris continued. "You really love him. I know you. I've known you all your life. You and me … you've never looked at me the way I caught you looking at him earlier. And Sherry …"

"You're happy with her, right?" Sherry and Rory had disappeared into the bedroom, where Sherry had insisted on showing Rory some sort of makeup technique. Sherry seemed perfectly fine, all bubbly and chatty as she normally was.

"Yeah. We have our issues, but we're making it work." Chris shoved his hands in his pocket. "So, think the two of you will get hitched?"

"We're living together."

Chris let out a low whistle. "Really? And Emily and Richard haven't hit the roof?"

Lorelai hunched her shoulders. "They doesn't know," she muttered.

"Really?" Chris moved to the drinks cart. "Are you driving?"

"No, Rory's our DD."

Chris promptly made her a new martini and handed it over. "Then you need more of this."

"For god's sake, it's 2003. A man and a woman living together isn't exactly a new thing." Because it was there, and god did she ever need it, Lorelai downed it in two swallows. She would gladly deal with the hangover in the morning. "Rory signed off on it and likes having him around - though probably more for the food that magically appears on the table and the new bookcase in her room more than anything."

"Uh huh." Chris picked up his beer and saluted her with her. "So, you selling tickets for when you tell them?"

"Chris."

"I'm just saying. You informing your parents about your new living arrangements ranks right up there with telling her about the fact that Rory is a thing that exists."

Lorelai rolled her eyes and went to find Luke. It took a good bit of evasive maneuvering, as she didn't want to get cornered by anyone that shared a last name with her - Rory being the obvious exception. She finally found Luke by the front door, peering anxiously outside as he fiddled with one of the hinges.

"Planning our escape route?"

"Still not much of one. Guy in a silver Mercedes left, but then this lady in an SUV the size of Texas managed to take up not only his spot, but she's really close to putting a few dents in that guy's Porsche over there."

Lorelai motioned to the small screwdriver in his hand. "And what's with the Bob Vila routine?"

"Well, I noticed the hinge was a bit loose, and I just happened to be carrying this." Luke showed her a small multitool.

"Uh huh. Service the boiler yet?"

"It was just a couple of small screws," Luke insisted.

"Garbage disposal working now?" Lorelai teased.

Luke sighed. "I just want to go home."

"Me too. We're leaving as soon as we figure out how to get the car out. Or maybe you can just build us some sort of ramp."

"Well, if I had some concrete blocks and …" His voice trailed away as he kneaded his forehead. "Never mind."

He was being entirely too adorable. Since they were alone, Lorelai gave him a quick kiss. "Are we OK?"

"We're fine." He gave her a half-smile that was probably more from the kiss than anything. So she gave him another and felt him relax even further.

"Trying to decide which was worse, Rome or now?"

"That night didn't end badly," his voice dropped, causing her toes to curl as she remembered how that night had ended.

"No, it didn't. Neither will this one." She moved into him, letting her kiss tell him exactly her plans for the two of them when they finally got back to Stars Hollow. "Now, I really want to go home," she murmured before going in for round two. This kiss was hotter, more urgent, and she sensed the moment when the tension just slipped away from him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, falling against the door as they forgot where they were and the embrace started to escalate past socially acceptable levels. Not that she particularly cared at the moment.

"Lorelai, what on earth are you doing? You can't just do that in the foyer."

Luke stiffened and Lorelai grabbed his arms to keep him from pulling entirely away. She leisurely ended the kiss and faced her mother, braced to do battle. "I can and I will. Because this is who I'm with, Mom. Not Chris, not anyone else."

Emily scowled. "You are being far too dramatic about the photo."

"Mom, Rory's family is more than me and her dad. It's Luke and Sherry and you and Dad and Grandma. If you really want a photo of Rory's entire family, all of us would be in it, and you would learn to accept it."

"And this, Emily, is why your daughter won't tell you that the two of them are living together."

Oh shit. Lorelai felt the color drain from her face as Emily whirled around to see Trix standing a few feet behind them, leaning on her cane. She whipped back around to face Lorelai and Luke. "You're what?"

Trix smirked. "Well. I think that has made the evening totally worth it."