A/N: This one is kind of sad at the end. I cried at times while writing it. If there's any confusion as to who Connor is, chapter 18 of Engaged to Disengage should clear that up.

He had been getting scheduled for long stretches of road time, and being away from Casey and JJ wasn't so great. Having to go on the European tour made it worse because talking to Casey was difficult. She almost always had her hands full with either the dogs or their son so she was rarely near her phone or had a hand free to answer her phone. Not to mention the fact that Carter and Parker were also his sons, so not being able to randomly lay down on the floor and almost instantly have a golden retriever laying alongside him and a pug on his chest really sucked. He never thought he'd say it but he missed getting up at four in the morning to change a diaper and playing rock-paper-scissors with Casey over who got to change the smelly shit diaper and having to do it anyways because Casey's pout was hard to resist. He really liked being a dad, so being away from his family for long stretches wasn't something he enjoyed. Having the best job in the world didn't make up for it.

"I'm home!" He called once he stepped through the door and hearing the dogs rush to greet him brought a smile to his face after a shitty twenty three days away from them. He saw Casey in the dining room feeding JJ and hearing her make airplane and train noises as she fed him turned his smile into a grin as he stood up from his kneeling position and made his way to her.

"Hey, you." She greeted, turning her head to kiss him softly while JJ clapped for attention from his father.

"Da!" JJ shouted and the couple's eyes widened as they exchanged a glance before looking at him.

"What was that?" Dean asked with a proud smile and JJ smacked the top of the tray of his high chair.

"I don't think he's gonna do it now that he has your attention." Casey mumbled as she scooped out the last spoonful of the carrot mush that she was feeding him. "Open wide."

"Can I do it?" Dean asked quietly and Casey willingly handed over the spoon, pulling her phone out of her pocket in record time and opening up her camera app. "Seriously?"

"For the photo album and Twitter. Stop teasing and give him that last spoonful so we he can play until he poops it out, and then I can put him in the bath and get him ready for bed."

"When does he go to bed now?"

"About eight. He gets up at me at about six and we have breakfast and then he sits in his playpen while I do my morning mile on the treadmill." She explained and he nodded as he gently shoveled the mush into his son's mouth.

After bath time, Casey put JJ in his blue onesie and Dean rocked him to sleep while Casey looked on. It truly was good to have him home, especially with where her head had been. Something had been bothering her, not enough to deter her from caring for JJ like a mother should, but it was enough to disrupt her sleeping cycle. Sadly, it wasn't something she could just talk to her husband about over the phone, because she knew that she'd start crying and he hated it when she cried and he couldn't get to her. She didn't like causing conflict for him.

"He's looks so much like you." Casey mumbled as Dean laid JJ down and covered him up.

"I see it." He mumbled, looking down at the life he created with Casey. It was still insane to him that he was able to create something so beautiful.

"Your little dimples." Casey teased softly, poking his cheek when he smiled and Dean laughed, gently grabbing her hand and pulling her into a tight hug.

"I've missed your adorable ass so much, Casey. You and him both."

"We've missed you, too." There was something in her tone that he didn't like. Something was bothering her.

"Case, what's wrong?" He asked softly as he guided her out of JJ's room, making sure to shut the light off along the way. She then pulled him to their bedroom and walked over to the windows, staring out at the bay. "Talk to me, kitten."

"Do you ever think about how different things would've been if Connor had lived?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her heard her loud and clear from where he sat on the bed.

"Honestly? All the damn time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him."

"Really?" She asked, turning to face him as he stood up and walked to her.

"He may not be here with us, but he's still our son. A life we created together. Sure, he never got a chance to live that life, but that was out of our hands and you can't blame yourself for that, Casey." He spoke softly but firmly, cupping her cheeks in his hands and resting his forehead on hers. "Looking back on that time, it was probably a sign since we weren't ready to be parents three years ago. We were both still so immature, unsure, insecure, and career driven, there's no way we would've been ready to be parents."

"Would you have given it your best effort?" Casey asked, tears welling up in her eyes and he sighed.

"I like to think that we would've made it work, but I was a different guy back then. I loved you with all my heart but I think that I would've tried to run from the responsibility and that would've torn us apart, as much as I hate to say it." He admitted, knowing that Casey needed his honest opinion at a time like this.

"I want to move to Arizona." Casey mumbled and he nodded, wrapping his arms around her. He knew that she wanted to be where Connor was buried, she could give any reason that she wanted, but he knew the real reasoning. "I want to be close to my parents and close to Connor."

"We can start looking at houses online. Scottsdale or close to Scottsdale?" He asked as he felt her tears soak through his tshirt and he started to rub her back.

"Scottsdale. Do you think that he's watching over us?" Casey asked quietly, looking up at Dean who kept his gaze locked on the night sky through the window.

"I'm certain that he's up there watching over us and his baby brother with a big ass smile."