His parents had been furious when they found out about his little weekend away from home, unfortunately his A-list movie star father Aaron Echolls' latest filming project had had to wrap a little earlier than intended and both he and his mother had returned home early from Chicago to find that Logan was in Mexico and not at home. He'd been shifting uncomfortably in his chair most of the afternoon from the bruises on his ribs. He was pretty sure that he was going to be grounded and that the Homecoming dance next week was not going to happen. Their patience was starting to ware off, there's only so many get out of jail free cards he was going to get over grieving Lilly his father had told him angrily.
The announcement on the schools video system about the dedication of the Lilly Kane memorial fountain that weekend was still weighing on his mind.
"You hit the rocks again?" Duncan observed and he just nodded.
"How was the Napa house?" Logan asked as he stashed his stuff in his bag.
"Aunt Katrina's dog just had puppies… and then I get stuck with THIS" he sighed as he picked the small box out of his locker.
"Video's of Lilly?" Logan asked.
"My mother thought it would be nice to have a tribute video for the dedication ceremony this Friday… they want it to be made by someone who knew her" Duncan explained, but his expression was far away.
"She wanted you to do it?" he questioned gently.
"No my dad did" Duncan told him.
"You want me to do it man? You know I'm great with this kind of stuff…" Logan offered and he saw the conflict in Duncan, he didn't want to do this.
"Come on, let me do it… I wanna do it" Logan assured him and he watched as Duncan sighed in relief.
"Thanks man" he smiled weakly.
"It's not a problem" Logan said as he took the small box of tapes.
The small box of videos made him inexplicably sad… the entire sum of a life, the only things left in the world with the sound of her voice… all the memories trapped inside… but at least the Kane's had these he supposed, at least there were still glimpses of the girl he loved on the screen.
The other one had just vanished and he wasn't sure he would ever see her again.
He was excused from his classes for the next few days by Mr Clemmons but he was invited by Ms James to have another talk if he needed to because of the 'emotional distress the content of the tribute video may cause'
"Hello Logan" Ms James smiled as he came by her office.
"Hey Ms James" he replied simply as he sat down in his usual seat.
"I was just about to make some tea, would you like some?" she offered and he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Did I cross the border? Should I be expecting scones?" he joked.
"No… it's just around the time that I usually take my lunch" she smiled. "What can I do for you?"
"You said if I needed to talk…" he explained quietly.
"Certainly.. what is on your mind?" she asked politely.
"Lilly… I haven't been able to get her out of my head lately" he admitted.
"Are you still having the dreams?" Ms James asked gently.
The dreams… the ones where she was screaming at him for not saving Veronica? The ones where it was him who kept finding her body over and over again?
"Not as much now" he lied. "It's just… there's nothing left of either of them. Those videos… there's nothing of the Real Lilly in them, the one I loved… and there's nothing of the Veronica I know left in that girl" he exclaimed angrily. "I mean… the real Veronica certainly wouldn't have kissed me like that.." the words were out before he had realized what he had said.
"Veronica kissed you?" Ms James said in surprise.
"No.. that's what I am saying… Veronica didn't kiss me… that Changeling that everyone calls Veronica and walks and talks like her… kissed me, but that's not her" he ranted.
"You think Veronica is a Changeling?" Ms James asked carefully.
"Not an actual.. changeling… I just mean… she's not the girl I remember" he corrected.
Great now he sounded like a crazy person…
"It sounds to me like you are having a lot of trouble accepting the loss of who you thought they were… but there are many sides to a person Logan… sometimes we just have to learn to accept people for who they are and not who we wish they were" she offered.
Didn't she understand? He missed who he KNEW they were… all the rest was just… gone….
"Where's the fan club?" Logan snorted sarcastically as he slid into his seat beside Madison Sinclair, one of the only few people he spent much time around these days as he waited for her boyfriend Dick to come over with the Chinese delivery.
"Nowhere, Goldilocks has decided that only the chairs in the Library fit Just Right today" she said snidely. Madison hated Veronica, even the new and improved version.
He hadn't spoken to her since Friday afternoon on the beach and inwardly he cursed himself as he made his excuses and left the table. Even when he hated her there was something about her that was like catnip, he just couldn't stay away.
Maybe he was just haunted? So many versions of the girls he knew were getting lost that he just had to be near whatever part of them was left? Maybe he just wanted to feel something?
He was barely near the same table as her when he overheard the tail end of her phone conversation.
"How do you feel about grabbing dinner tonight?" she flirted smiling.
"I'll bring dessert" she added finally before hanging up.
He saw red, his tongue was a weapon and it was locked and loaded.
"Hot date?" he said angrily. Since when would this have bothered him?
"Logan?" she jumped, startled as she quickly shut her notebook and slid the papers in front of her into her bag. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked nervously.
"Long enough" he snapped before he turned around to leave.
"It's my dad's assistant" she called out and it seemed to calm him a little. "Did you want something?"
"I've just been thinking.." he exhaled as he leaned back against the bookshelf.
"Did it hurt?" she retorted sarcastically and he frowned at her.
"I was thinking that… I might not have the old you back... but it might be nice to get to know you all over again…" he sighed, before his brown eyes met hers.
"did it ever occur to you that I might miss her?"
"That's probably not a good idea" she said shaking her head.
"Why not?" he replied, annoyance clear in his tone.
"Because I am trying to get some clarity and all I can offer at the moment is bits and pieces… and being around you is likely to confuse things" she told him shakily.
Was she serious?
"So you go off on me about not wanting to be near you… then you kiss me and when I tell you I want to try and get to know you again… you don't want me around?" Logan asked angrily.
He could finally understand why some storms were named after people… she could destroy him in the worst way possible. He rolled his eyes and turned to go.
"I am sick of this!" she snapped. "If you have issues Logan, you go and see a shrink! Hot and cold… hot and cold… I have enough problems of my own without worrying about your ego! You aren't the only person who lost something!" she exclaimed, her breathing was ragged now and several other people had stopped what they were doing to look in their direction. Noticing their little audience she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room.
"You can't just keep running away from me when you don't like what I have to say" he told her as he followed her.
"Yeah? Watch me" she said sarcastically.
He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around until she was pressed against the row of lockers beside them as he captured her mouth with his. He had to relieve the tension that had been bubbling up inside him ever since he'd felt something akin to jealousy at the thought of her arranging a date. The kiss had been quick and impulsive and he wanted to press her against the lockers and grab those slim hips in his hands and hold her against his body. She resisted at first, then her mouth opened against his and her arms went around his neck while she stood on her tiptoes.
The bell rang and he pulled away breathing heavily as other students began to filter into the hallway but his eyes never left hers. The rest of the passers-by were oblivious to their stolen moment and she finally slipped away down the corridor away from him.
Why was he being so reckless?