[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another episode of WTHN. I'm grateful for all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It's your support that keeps me going…

I've decided to start an outtake story for my soap. Liquid Dreams will basically be missing moments, flashbacks or whatever comes into my crazy mind. Feel free to make suggestions about scenes you'd like to read about.

This chapter here is dedicated to cassi143 and DodgerMcClure, hope you'll enjoy.

**Chapter 87**

"Why in heaven's name did you have to lift him up now?" Rosalie snarled at him, her tired voice raising two octaves so that it almost sounded hysterical in my ears.

"Because I thought that…," her husband mumbled hesitantly.

"Nothing! You were thinking nothing, like usually. How often will I have to tell you that the twins need to learn sleeping at certain times? Seriously, you are driving me insane, McCarthy. It's like I'm having three kids instead of two."

"Babe,"

"Don't you, Babe me now, I…I…," she stumbled out, her voice cracking at the end before she burst out into tears.

I cleared my throat nervously while Ali kneeled down in front of her blonde haired sister and wrapped one arm around her quivering shoulder.

"Hey,"

"I…I…I'm such a horrible mother."

"No, you're not. You're just exhausted. When was the last time you slept properly?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" she whispered hoarsely, wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

Ali sighed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket. Carefully she wiped the teardrops away from Rosalie's rosy cheekbones. For someone who lacked sleeping she still looked incredibly good.

"Rosie, if you need help with the twins, you could have told me. I like babysitting them."

"Are you telling me that I can't handle my kids on my own?"

"Rosie, it hasn't got anything to do with not being able to handle them."

Rosalie sniffed and took one of the babies, I thought it was Tegan, but I wasn't really sure, from Emmett and started rocking him back and forth. He screamed and whimpered until she put him down in his cradle again. God, how could such a tiny infant make such terrible noise?

"Of course, it has to do with that. After everything, I went through to become a mother, it turns out that I completely suck at the whole thing. Isn't that ironical?"

"You don't suck." I told her, taking a small sip from the cup of tea in front of me.

"Stop thinking that. It's difficult to have one baby to take care of and you have two of them."

Lilly returned from the garden, her hands wrapped tightly around the metal collar on Fido's neck.

"Auntie Rosie, why are you crying?"

"It's nothing, sweetie." she mumbled, forcing her lips into a grimace that was probably supposed to look like a smile.

"Uncle Emmett, can we go to the Park with Tegan and Nessie?"

"Sure, Lilly." He replied quickly, obviously relieved to have found a way to escape the emotional outburst of his wife.

Before he grabbed his jacket, he leaned over to plant a kiss on Rosalie's forehead.

"Try to calm down, Babe. This isn't some kind of contest where you have to be perfect. Everything is going to be okay."

She nodded her head and cupped his face between her hands to kiss his mouth very lightly.

As soon as he was out of the house, she stood up from the couch and twisted her hair into a sloppy ponytail.

"I hate it when he goes to the Park with them without me. All the skinny sluts out there seem to find a man with a baby carriage extremely attractive."

"You're not jealous, are you? Jeez, Rosie, you know that Emmett loves you."

Slowly she shook her head and sat down on the edge of the couch again.

"How can he love me when I'm such a bad mother?"

"Rosie, how often will we have to tell you that you're not a bad mother?" Ali asked her, pouring her a glass of water that she emptied in one big gulp.

"But, I am horrible. Sometimes I almost hate the babies because they won't stop screaming. And don't get me started on the whole breastfeeding thing. Wonderful bonding experience…what a fucking load of bullshit. Tegan is like a greedy, little vampire."

"Breathe," I instructed, sitting up and placing my hand underneath my belly.

"It doesn't make you a bad mother because you don't like breastfeeding."

"But it's so healthy for the babies."

"It is way healthier for them to have a mother who's not completely exhausted, trust me."

"Dad thinks it's healthy too."

"Carlisle doesn't have to do it. Look, Rosalie, I know that you want to make everything perfect but this isn't going to work. You need to admit that you need help."

"I don't want any help. I want to do this on my own."

Ali went into the kitchen and returned with a brownie.

"Here, eat."

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how many calories are in that piece?"

"No, I don't. It doesn't matter. You really look like you could need some sugar now."

"Please take that away. I want at least try to look nice again, if everything else fails."

I grabbed the brownie from the plate and stuffed it down with the rest of my tea. God, was life worth living at all without any chocolate?

"Problem solved," Ali stated cheerfully.

"Hmm,"

Rosalie's cell started vibrating and moved all over the table before she grabbed it with her left hand.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"That's mom again. I don't have the nerves to deal with her Edward problems now."

"Deal with her Edward problems?"

"She's scared that something is going to happen to him while he's in jail. He was supposed to get transferred back here to Seattle yet, but for some reason that they won't tell her, the authorities in Forks refuse to let him go."

A shiver of fear went down my spine and I instantly pulled Ali closer to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her dainty waist.

"And now?"

"And now, she's flying down there tomorrow to hold his hand or something like that."

There was a bitter hint in her voice, although she clearly tried to suppress it.

"She's angry at us because of what happened, isn't she?"

"No, she's not…well at least not much. It's more like she's angry at herself somehow."

XXXX

"I'm worried," she whispered into my ear while she gently massaged some oil into the skin on my stomach. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, enjoying the tender caress of her fingertips for a moment before I spoke up.

"You don't have to be. Everything will be alright."

"You can't know that, Bella. My mother is so…well, she wants everything to be perfect and now everything she lived for is crumbling into tiny pieces of chaos."

Slowly she leaned forward to plant a kiss right underneath my belly button.

"I want to protect you. Both of you, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Then I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her mouth tenderly.

"You are wonderful. Not a single day passes by on that I'm not grateful to have you in my life.

She sighed and rested her head on my lap, letting her fingertips gently move over the bulky scar on my abdomen.

"Is that still hurting you?"

"Sometimes, but not much, it's just really ugly. Please stop looking at it. That makes me feel…uncomfortable."

"Tell me how you got it."

"There were…complications during Lilly's birth." I mumbled so low that my voice was barely audible.

"What kind of complications?" she asked me, while she pressed her ear against my abdomen as if she could hear something inside there.

"Well," I started hesitantly, trying to figure out how to tell her without making her worried again. She already worried so much about too much stuff and that was like pure poison for her weak heart.

To my immense relief the phone started ringing and I quickly picked it up without looking at the number on the display.

"Swan,"

"Hi, Bella, it's me. I'm sorry for calling you this late."

"Mike!"

He cleared his throat nervously before he spoke up again.

"Are you sitting right now?"

"No, I'm standing. Mike, what kind of question is that anyway?"

"I want you to sit down."

"Why?"

"You still have to question anything you are being told, haven't you? Please, do me the favor and sit down somewhere."

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, while Ali wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Fine, I'm sitting. Now are you going to tell me why you've called me?"

"Look, Bella. I really don't want you to freak because of what I'm going to tell you now."

"Kay," I responded automatically, although my heart was in my mouth and I wondered if the baby would be able to notice the tension inside me.

"You know that we still have your dipshit of an ex-husband here…,"

"Did he escape?" I stumbled out, trying to avoid sounding too hysterical.

He chuckled, actually chuckled and I wished that it would be able to punch someone through the phone.

"Bella, it may not be Alcatraz over here but I don't think that anyone escaped here in the last years."

"Good,"

"Where was I? Oh right, your ex is still here, but that's not really the reason why I called you."

"Hmm,"

"We finally made some progress in Charlie's case. I think we may have found his murderess."

The phone slipped through my fingers and landed on the carpet in front of me. When I leaned forward to pick it up again a sharp, cramping pain went through my lower body. My hands started quivering and I inhaled sharply between my teeth to suppress a moan.

Ali gave me a worried look, placing one hand on my shoulder while I wondered if I was about to faint now. Everything around me started to blur.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"They found…they finally found the damn…," I croaked out, my voice cracking at the end like a broken record.

"Bella, what in heaven's name did Mike tell you?"

"Give me the phone,"

She grabbed it from the floor but instead of handing it to me, she hissed into the receiver.

"How dare you scaring her like that!"

"Ali?"

"Yeah, it's me and I'm going to hang up now. We can talk tomorrow. Bye Mike."

She kneeled down in front of me and took my trembling hands in hers.

"Bella, please, tell me what's wrong. You're white like a ghost."

Another cramp went through me, stronger than the first one and a heartbeat later I tasted the first salty drops on my lips.

"Are you in pain?" she asked me nervously, her voice raising two octaves.

I nodded my head and sniffed, desperately trying to keep the traitorous tears from falling.

"Lay back," she instructed, gently placing one of her dainty hands on my abdomen while she wiped the wetness from my cheeks with the fingertips of her other hand.

"Breathe, honey, everything is going to be fine. I'll take care of you."

I started sobbing and turned my head to the left side.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered hoarsely, taking several deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm myself down a bit. Panicking wouldn't help the situation at all.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to apologize to me…ever."

"I don't know if we'll survive that, if I lose the child." I stumbled out, pressing my hands against my belly. The painful cramps had stopped almost as soon as they had come leaving behind nothing but an unpleasant numb feeling. This was supposed to be a good sign, wasn't it? God, I couldn't understand why this was happening to me…to us.

"Stop saying things like that. You won't lose this baby."

She leaned over and planted a kiss on my forehead, tenderly putting a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"I'm going to call my father now."

"What for? Carlisle is a cardiologist. He knows nothing about having…or losing babies."

"Hmm, yeah, that's right. Sorry about that. I'm just so worried about the two of you and I don't know what to do."

"Nothing…there is nothing you can do right now. The cramps have stopped and I don't think I'm bleeding."

Carefully she took my hand in hers and planted kisses all over my knuckles.

"We're in this together…whatever is going to happen we're in this together and because we're in it together, we'll survive everything."