Estel was gone.

Elladan did not blame Estel for having to be away. After what he told the twin what Elrohir had said…and Estel had to deal with that alone, Elladan almost wanted Estel to go and try and live life as if none of this ever happened for a time. That would be impossible, but Estel needed to try.

That was three days ago.

The adolescent was mature for one of his age, but he was still a child and reacted to things like a child would. It did not help that Gilraen could not be here to help, and given the season, Elladan assumed that the woman would stay with her kindred for the winter at this point.

Snow had fallen on the ground, actually.

Elladan shook his head, setting Velegdal on the bed. Estel had lost so much in his short life, starting with Arathorn, though Estel may not remember him well at this point. Still, that trauma when he was a toddler affected him from his subconscious.

Elladan watched as the bunny hopped over to Elrohir. Elrond had to see to a few travelers, as one of them broke their foot from landing on stone despite the snow. The twins were finally able to be alone with each other.

Elrohir got the name of Velegdal through and stopped trying to name the creature seventy other names. He was starting to understand things a lot better and hold it to memory, but there were some gaps that remained. Speaking, it did not take so much effort as it did before, but he still stumbled over his words or would forget what he was talking about. Movement…still out of the question about standing and trying to walk, but he moved his arms and hands more often: more twitchy and restless than anything.

"I think Velegdal has become attached to you, Elrohir." Elladan commented. "What do you have that we do not?"

"Veleg…" Elrohir said in a muffled voice as he hugged a pillow rather fiercely, and the rabbit sat right in his line of sight.

Elladan let his mouth curve upwards for a moment before looking towards the outdoors beyond the door.

Elrohir watched Velegdal do nothing. Apparently if the animal does nothing then his attention span is longer. When she is moving, he could not hold on for more than five seconds. Elrohir forced himself to wake up and not fall asleep, though it may have been better if he gave into that demand. "E-stel g-gone…"

Elladan frowned. "Estel needed to take some time for himself, brother. He will come back when he is able to."

"A-ada?"

"Adar needed to see some people. He should be back later."

Elrohir accepted the explanation for Elrond…but Estel...something was wrong. Something he had done. It nagged at him. Looking forlorn after being unable to remember, "S-sorry…"

Elladan looked a little alarmed. "Why are you sorry?"

"Estel…"

The older twin closed his eyes. "Elrohir…" 'Ai, I know not if you will understand.' "…You needed to speak your mind. Suppressing your emotions will not help you right now."

"C-couldn't…discern…"

"And you are not at fault for that, Elrohir. If it is anyone's fault, it ought to be mine." 'I needed to have father speak his mind too…but we were too far away for Estel to come find us.'

Elrohir blinked, slowly. "…s-still…sorry…"

Elladan allowed him that, but since the topic was brought up… "Elrohir," the twin started softly, getting into line of sight as well. "…Did you mean what you said?"

Elrohir looked confused.

"Do you even remember what you said?"

Elrohir started straining himself to remember…

'I will not be able to stand doing this a second time. Once and minor change is acceptable, but I will not live like this. It will tear away at my soul until there is nothing left, a husk for Mandos to collect. I cannot do it…I do not want this life if this is how it will be from now on.'

"…Yes…"

"You remember?"

"…m-meant it…"

Elladan's heart sunk and his shoulders sagged. He took in a deep breath to keep himself together. Elrond knew about it. Elladan…something struck a chord within after the admission. He steeled himself and took Elrohir's wrist, pressing his palm against his chest: over his heart.

He should not be doing this, doing this with no consent from Elrohir. But he did not care. He would not let Elrohir make any great decision while he is unable to even remember what he holds in his hand.

'You are not going to leave prematurely, Elrohir.' Elladan thought. 'I am forbidding you from doing so while you cannot understand much right now. Beseech and petition me when you are able to, and I will release this hold. But for the time being, this is for your protection, while you still show signs of improvement.'

Elladan set the hand back down on the bed. Elrohir stared at him with furrowed brows while Elladan held his hand. He felt the binding, and the look he gave in response almost looked like hate.

'Despise me as much as you need to…' Elladan sighed. '…Later you may appreciate it, instead of throwing your life away now.'

Elrohir's expression relaxed. He moved his head to look beyond the room. He was bewildered again. "…L-leaves g-gone…"

"It is winter, Elrohir.'

"N-no…fall."

Elladan bowed his head. "You have been asleep for a while, Elrohir. We were caught in a rockslide in the pass…" It was the same statements repeated when Elrohir asked what happened.

Elrohir took the answer mutely. They said that over and over.

…Perhaps that was because that was the truth of the whole matter.