Summary: (BM/WW Wedding-fic) When Batman finally gathers the courage to ask Wonder Woman to marry him, the Dark Knight gets more than he bargained for when the entire League decided to pitch in and help plan their impending nuptials – contains fluff, random humour, a temperamental Amazon princess, drunken bachelor-party escapades, and various attempts on Superman's life!
A/N: This is going to be so silly - total OOC-ness ahoy! And I apologize for nothing! Nothing! This is borderline crack, people.
…However, personally, stereotyping is a big no-no for me and I wouldn't normally do that, so I do sincerely hope I don't offend anyone with my portrayal of a certain, er, group below.
But anyways, please enjoy! ;)
Disclaimer: I tried making this sound creative… but, meh, I gave up halfway – I don't own anything!
Bridezillas & Kryptonite
~Chapter Thirteen~
Part Two
The Bachelorette Party
Once the five women had managed to squeeze into Zatanna's black Jeep (Helena having called shotgun in front with Zee, while the others sat in the back), Shayera pulled out a small, black notepad from her purse.
"Okay!" she said in a very business-like voice as she sat between Diana and Dinah. "We've got a lot to do, and one shot to get it done right so let's get this show on the road."
"What is that?" Diana asked curiously.
Helena laughed as she turned around in her seat to look back at them. "That's your to-do list, Princess," she smirked.
"And just a little warning, though," Zatanna added as she drove out of the Manor's grounds, "we haven't seen anything on it ourselves, so anything can happen tonight."
Diana raised an eyebrow but couldn't help but to smile. "Well then, what's first?"
The redhead perked up and grinned, a mischievous twinkle lighting her green eyes. "I'm glad you asked."
18:34 PM
Shayera had Zatanna drive them into the very heart of Gotham's red-light district. When she lead the girls to a brick building with a pink glowing neon sign that boldly declared it to be the 'Entertainment Centre', there were mixed reactions from everyone – Helena and Zatanna burst out in laughter, Dinah could only shake her head and smiled as she muttered, "I can't believe it," under her breath. Diana merely looked confused by their reaction.
Still sniggering, Zatanna turned to Shayera. "You didn't…"
The grin on Shayera's face turned decidedly wicked. "Oh, yes."
"Bruce is going to be so pissed," Dinah commented making Helena laugh harder.
The Thanagarian nodded. "He would be… if he ever found out. And if I don't tell him, and you don't tell him, then we were never here."
"What are you three talking about?" Diana asked.
Luckily for the girls, before either of them could open their mouths, Diana heard her name being called, and when she turned around, she saw Lois Lane standing in the door of the club, waving them over.
"Hey, it's about time you guys got here!" the reporter said, walking over to them.
"Lois, you're here!" Diana said, pleasantly surprised.
Lois snorted. "Like I'm gonna miss this – c'mon! We already started the party early."
Shayera looked at Lois. "And the show…?" she asked pointedly, much to Diana's mystification.
Lois grinned and the two of them shared a conspiring look. "We're still waiting for the woman of the hour." She said, turning to Diana.
"…Should I be concerned?" the Amazon asked dryly as both Shayera and Lois linked their arms with her. The others were already making their way inside.
Shayera only offered another grin in return. "Just sit back and enjoy the spectacle. After this, we're going dancing, and then shots – or, at least, we will, you will be getting something sparkling – and then after that, we're going to engage in shameful, irresponsible behavior that would make your future hubby blush."
"I don't know about that… it takes a lot to make Bruce blush." Diana admitted somewhat one-sidedly.
"Well, you would be the expert on that, huh…?" the redhead said slyly.
Diana lightly smacked Shayera's forearm making the other women laugh as they went inside.
The first thing Diana noticed once she and the others were inside was the smell – the Entertainment Center smelled strongly of citrus scented leather polish, smoke… and chocolate, but, once she got over that, she sensed something very… strange about the club.
"Where on earth did you find this place?" asked as she surveyed the rest of the room.
It was dark, slightly hazy even despite the multi-coloured neon lights that adorned the brick walls – the tables with chairs made out of bright pink and lime green leather stood in front and around of some kind of stage and catwalk.
The atmosphere, however, was pleasant enough – the chairs were all occupied with many different familiar faces that were all laughing and chatting among themselves, and the overall impression Diana got was that the night was off to a good start already.
"I heard about it from Zee who heard it from a friend of hers. I came to check it out a few days ago and got a kick out of what I saw." Shayera answered cryptically.
"I was actually surprised a place like this even existed in Gotham… but then again," Lois admitted before shrugging. "I guess the girls around here have needs too."
Diana was becoming frustrated, "What needs?" she snapped impatiently, narrowing her eyes at them. "For Athena's sake, will someone tell me where we are?"
Lois and Shayera must have seen the warning signs, and very, very luckily for them, Donna (bless her soul), happened to see them and waved at them, beckoning them over. "Diana!"
"Oh, look, it's your sister!" Lois said, very obviously relieved.
"We'll just be over by the bar, let's go, Lois." Shayera said as they hastily retreated over to the other side of the room.
Donna must have seen them and looked at her sister inquiringly when she came over. "Where are they going?"
Diana half glared after the retreating forms of her friends. "Away from me, I think."
Donna gave her a puzzling look before lightly tugging at her arm. "Never mind that for now, you have to see this!" she said eagerly, grinning.
Diana nodded and followed after her sister.
At the bar, both Shayera and Lois visibly let out a sigh of relief.
"Yikes…" Lois commented. Shayera chuckled. "Are you sure this was a good idea?" the reporter asked.
"Probably not, but it's on the list."
"What 'take Diana to a strip club'?" Lois asked dryly.
"Yes, it's number 4… and to see the look on her face when she sees the surprise I arranged." Shayera said with a smirk.
Lois laughed despite herself. "You're playing with fire."
"It'll be worth it." She said. "I got to get things ready."
Lois nodded. "Good luck, Shay."
Along the way, Diana was stopped half a dozen times by friends and fellow League members who all, much to her annoyance seemed excited and refused to tell her specifically why that was. But, as they did, she did notice something else.
"Why are there no men here?" she asked Donna.
The younger Amazon shrugged. "I don't know, I found it strange as well, but maybe it's just that sort of club?" she suggested.
"I suppose." Diana allowed. "Now, what is it what you wanted to show me?"
Donna didn't answer, but Diana got her answer when she arrived at the table near the catwalk, and she laid eyes on her mother. She just barely managed to keep her mouth from falling open.
"Mother?" she asked, astonished. Diana had never seen her mother looking anything besides the Queen of the Amazons, so she was rightly astonished when she saw the dress she was wearing was – it was made out of a sleek silver material and was coupled with golden accessories, but while it was long, reaching mid-calf, the neckline did a rather magnificent job calling attention to certain… attributes.
The rest of the Amazons were all dressed similarly, and didn't escape Diana's (or anyone's) notice that they were all showing a gracious amount of skin.
But, other than that, and Diana wasn't sure what to make of this, they were all flushed of faced, with a drink in their hand, and, in Phillipus's case, laughing and snorting helplessly at something the other had said.
"Ah, Diana!" the Queen said brightly, her cheeks pink as she was clearly enjoying herself. "This is a marvelous party! You must give my condolences to that winged hawk friend of yours – the one with the mace."
"It's 'compliments'," Phillipus said before snorting again, and added, "My Queen."
"Ah, yes, yes – that, exactly that." Hippolyta said, waving her away. "Do join us, my suns and stars – this purple wine Miss Lane introduced us to is simply… um…"
"Nice?" Ismene, one of Hippolyta's warriors suggested before hiccoughing slightly.
"No…"
"Pleasant?" another Amazon named Adrianne asked.
The Queen shook her head, no.
"Fantastic?" Alexa offered offside.
"Yes!" Hippolyta said excitedly.
Too astonished to speak, when Diana looked back at Donna, her sister could only bit down on her lip to keep herself from laughing.
Just then, as Diana and Donna took their seats next to their mother and sisters, the lights dimmed even more and a spotlight shone on the stage. Shayera then came on, and waved as everyone cheered, and she had a microphone with her.
"Who's as psyched to be here as I am tonight?" she asked, receiving yet another round of loud cheering. She laughed and waved everyone down. "Okay, okay, so, you all know why we're here – our Princess, is getting married!" on cue, a spotlight shone directly on Diana.
There were more cheers, especially from the Amazons… though Diana suspected they just clapped for the sake of it.
"I know – marriage, it's what every other woman dreams about some time or other, right? But! Before we hand her back to her ball and chain," there was laughter, "we're gonna make damn sure she remembers what it's like to be a single lady! Because, tonight, we're gonna party until the sun comes up!" The applause and cheers that followed that was significantly louder than the previous. Shayera then looked directly at Diana. "Di… I hope you don't kill me for this."
She then gestured towards the DJ booth at the very back of the room and got off of the stage. Next, some kind of humming noise drifted from the speakers followed by the sound of drums and Diana realized that it was the beginning of a certain Michael Jackson song…
But, when eight men in long trench coats and fedoras stepped out in a line, their backs turned to everyone while the music played on, the truth suddenly dawned on her, and Diana's hand flew over her mouth.
"Dear gods…" she whispered, eyes wide as the men began swinging their hips.
"What are they doing?" Hippolyta asked mildly, watching the men with interest.
Diana turned her head towards Donna to see the younger Amazon openly gawking.
Then, one by one, heads kept down, and this was where some of the women began to wolf-whistle, the men turned around, ripping their coats open, revealing bare chest and, if you looked down, brightly coloured, er… shorts with very familiar logos etched on the material.
The women went wild when they cast their coats to the side, threw their fedoras over their shoulder – some of them had masks, others cowls, some of them had capes, some of them even had replicas of the real-life equipment (…not that kind of equipment) – all of them were well built, and made turns striking provocative albeit 'heroic' poses and flexing their considerable muscles on center stage while the others stared into the distance dramatically.
Diana looked at the rest of the Amazons, expecting them to have something to say about this, but, instead found them to be staring at the men with amusement.
Of course… when a certain pointy-eared 'vigilante' with a handyman-belt painted yellow took his turn on center stage flexing like a strongman, cape flared out behind him and attempting to glare at everybody yet sporting a toothy grin, the dam broke and all of them burst out in riotous laughter.
Diana herself was torn between gaping and laughing, but at the sight of both her mother and Phillipus having to cling to each other in an attempt to not fall out of their seats, both beyond helping themselves, a snort escaped her and she ended up laughing harder than any of them.
20:14 PM
After the 'performance', which included even more flexing, a pull-rope, several all-too willing volunteers from the crowd, a fog machine and a large purple pool noodle, the 'performers' were now freely mingling, still in costume.
Diana was now sitting at the bar with Shayera, both of them watching as an handsome African-American Flash tried to chat up Beatriz and Tora a few feet away, while, sitting a few seats away, Helena and Dinah were laughing at a Green Arrow with a Australian accent and a redheaded Booster Gold as they told bar jokes.
"Hey… where'd Lois go?" Shayera asked suddenly.
"I don't know." She admitted. Now that Diana thought about it, she hadn't seen the reporter in the last half hour.
There was a small pause between them until Shayera looked at her again.
"You're not… mad or anything, are you?"
Diana smiled in amusement. "At first maybe, but after all of that, I don't think so… though, admittedly, it is going to be difficult looking at John and Kal the same way every again."
Shayera grinned. "Ha! You're telling me!"
"At lease Mother and the others are enjoying themselves," Diana mused, looking over to Hippolyta and Phillipus as they were happily chatting away with Kara and Zatanna – or, Hippolyta was at least, Phillipus swayed a little on her feet but tried to keep up a diligent façade nonetheless.
"It was number 7," Shayera admitted.
"Number 7?" Diana asked.
"On the to-do list, get your mother smashed." The redhead explained. "And let me tell you, it was not easy."
"You'll have to explain that to me."
"I just thought if your mom and sisters lightened up a little, they wouldn't, say, kick the first guy who walks up to them through a wall." Shayera said dryly.
"You know, they're not that bad where all men are concerned, Mother and Alfred seem to get along just fine."
"Yeah, but this is Alfred we're talking about – he could charm the pants off of Mogul."
Diana's nose cringed. "Please don't mention 'pants' or 'Mogul in the same sentence… not after tonight at least."
Shayera laughed until her green eyes fell on 'Batman' - the look on her face gave Diana a bad feeling.
"What are you thinking?" Diana asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
"I just thought of a way to cross Number 5 off of the list." She said and grabbed Diana's wrist.
Before Diana could protest, she was pulled out of her chair and made to follow afterwards as she approached the man. She protested, but Shayera heard nothing of it, and when she let go, she whispered something in his ear before slipping a crisp twenty dollar bill in his belt.
The man perked up. "You've got a deal there."
Diana stared at Shayera incredulously. "What…?"
Shayera grinned at her. "Don't worry I tipped him already – now please follow the nice man."
"Relax, doll face," the man said, very casually draping his arm over Diana's shoulder and began steering her away. "Leave it up to Reggie… I mean," he said, clearing his throat slightly, his voice coming out gravely, "Batman."
Diana was caught between absurdity and surprise at the man, Reggie's boldness and glared over her shoulder, "Shayera!"
The Thanagarian only waved back at her. "Love you too, Di! Enjoy!"
Shayera laughed as she walked back to the bar – Reggie wasn't really going to do anything, but it was going to be worth the twenty she gave him to see the look on the Amazon's face when she came back.
Number 5, make Diana blush – done!
After she ordered herself a drink, she noticed when Donna came over to sit at the bar, looking gloomy.
Deciding to go over and sit next to her, she nudged the younger Amazon in the side slightly. "What's up with that face, Don?"
Donna snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's stupid; you wouldn't want to hear about it." She grumbled.
"If you put it like that, I'm going to want to hear about it even more now."
She sighed. "Fine," she said petulantly. "How do you tell someone you're not dating their boyfriend?"
Shayera raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Dick likes Barbara. Barbara thinks Dick likes me. Barbara definitely doesn't like me." She explained.
"That makes a little more sense," Shayera said before thinking about it. "Did something happen?"
"No, but since she was at the party, I thought I could talk to her about Dick – he's been moping lately and it started after she came to see him a few days ago."
"Have you talked to her?"
"I tried, she isn't talking back. They're both acting like children! It's ridiculous!"
"Don't give yourself a headache over it – it's not your problem."
"You're right of course," Donna said reluctantly. "But obviously you haven't seen a depressed Richard Grayson before…"
Shayera patted her on the back before handing Donna her drink – the younger Amazon accepted it without a second thought while Shayera ordered another.
"That bad, huh…?"
"He does this thing with his eyes…" Donna groaned. "You'd be heartless not to try something!"
After their second drink together (and after which Donna was feeling a whole lot better), Diana returned, noticeably red in the face.
"I change my mind," she stated, "I'm mad at you now."
"Aw, c'mon, we can get away with anything tonight, Princess – just go with it!"
"I barely knew the man!" she said, turning around and went off to rejoin her mother.
Donna then looked at Shayera curiously. "Am I imagining things, or was she wearing his belt…?"
21:34 PM
After they had left the Entertainment Centre, Shayera, now more or less tipsy, found herself arguing with a six-foot tall, gay bouncer (she was only assuming he was such since the slight accent in his voice and the tight leather pants didn't leave much room for imagination).
"Aw, c'mon man, just this once!"
Bryan (as the nametag on his red muscle-shirt stated), crossed his arms over his bulging chest.
"Forget it lady, there's only one condition in this place, and you and your little hen party don't meet up to it."
"But it's the only place in a five block radius that has a karaoke machine!"
"I don't care," Bryan said firmly.
"This is gender racism!" the Thanagarian said indignantly.
Standing next to her, a still very, very sober Diana barely resisted the urge to facepalm. "Shayera, you're making a scene."
Dear Hera, the Amazon realized in a fleeting moment of horror – was this what it would be like to have children…?
"Good!" Shayera said before looking back and glared at him. "Do you even know who we are?"
Bryan snorted. "Let me guess, Hawkgirl?" he said, eyeing her wings, clearly unimpressed before he looked at Diana. "And your friend here must be Wonder Woman?" he said, deadpan before rolling his eyes. "Please, I've seen better wings on some of the guys in here on Drag Night – there's no way those are real."
"If we were who we say we are, will you let us in then?" Diana asked quickly, noticing that Shayera was about three seconds away from cold-cocking him.
Bryan scoffed. "Sure! And hey, tell ya what; if you can lift my car, 'Wonder Woman'," he said, indicating towards a lime green Fiat, "all your drinks are on me."
"Deal!" Shayera said smugly before Diana could open her mouth.
Dian sighed. "Very well." She said and walked over to the car.
Shayera turned and smirked at Bryan. "Prepare to eat your heart out, Muscle-Man."
"Good luck with that, Red." Bryan said skeptically.
Approaching the small, green automobile, Diana shook her head to herself. "Why am I doing this?" she muttered before bending down and gripped it at its underside, making passersby stop and stare at her in awe as she lifted it with relative ease.
When Diana set it down, she looked over her shoulder to see an open-mouthed a stunned Bryan and a very smug Shayera.
Bryan's mouth opened and closed several times like a fish on dry land until he simply stepped aside and allowed them entrance.
Shayera walked up to him and patted his cheek condescendingly before she, Diana and the rest of the woman went inside.
Despite Bryan's rather frosty reception, once the situation was explained to the flamboyant barkeepers/owner, Angus, he announced Diana's arrival to the rest of the bar with a shrill voice of excitement and she, and the rest of the women were welcomed with open arms and free pink umbrella drinks.
Diana was for the better part of the first hour surrounded by a gaggle of men who insisted on lavishing her with praise. Gay or not, it gave her ego a tremendous boost having five men complimenting her so vigorously.
They even applauded her taste in men, insisting that Bruce Wayne was, in their words, absolutely 'delish!' – Diana found that rather funny, and reminded herself to tell Bruce that later.
However, after that, their attention had soon turned from Diana to her mother– the way they raved about the Queen would have made you sworn she was Beauty, Grace and Regality reincarnated… not that Hippolyta complained about it.
"So… let me get this straight," Andy, a slightly chubby man with a charming smile and a purple floral shirt said as he and four other men sat around the Queen, "You're Wonder Woman's mother?"
"I am." Hippolyta agreed with a slight slur, rather taken by the men's easygoing friendliness.
"But, wait," Samson, a skinnier man with a tan that bordered on citrus said, "Isn't Wonder Woman like, a princess?"
"Oh! Does that make you a queen?" Wendell asked excitedly (curiously enough, the Queen had found out, he preferred to be called 'Wendy' on Wednesdays and Saturdays).
There was an excited murmur amongst the men as Hippolyta smiled decadently.
"I am a queen yes,"
"Well what a coincidence!" Evers, a hairdresser-in-training piped up, "So are we!"
At this, the men burst out laughing and Hippolyta no longer deemed all men vile, despicable brutes, after all, some of them smelled rather nice and claimed she had the 'looks and poise of a young Meryl Streep'… whoever that was. She was assured by many this was a very good thing.
As for the rest of the party, as the night wore on, the more the girls enjoyed themselves, and by the time the clock struck twelve, copious amounts of alcohol had been consumed, songs danced to, and dares were made.
Having been dared to kiss the owner (who didn't mind since she was Wonder Woman), dance with Lois and Mari on one of the tables, and even sing 'Man, I feel like a woman!' by Shania Twain with Donna (which all of the Amazons cheered vigorously), all in all, Diana was having a good time. And she wasn't the only one.
Shayera tried her hand at poker against Wendell and Samson – she was convinced the two men were cheating, but had somehow ended up winning a chocolate brown Labrador retriever puppy from Wendell – apparently he was a dog breeder at daytime.
Lois and Dinah were regulars at the karaoke machine, crooning about partying hard and stupid girls. The reporter was sporting a red cape she had acquired through mysterious means at the Entertainment Centre and wore it proudly – while Dinah did have a would-be familiar green archers cap with her, she lost it in a bet with Helena to see who could down the most shooters without coughing first.
Speaking of which, Helena, wearing the cap, was showing off her hidden barista skills as she was cheered on by an audience.
…However, things went downhill rather fast when Shayera, in a moment of drunken brilliance, decided to make a toast…
00:13 AM
Depositing the brown pup in Diana's arms, she then clambered onto the bar, and whistled sharply to get everyone's attention. Once all eyes were on her, she raised her glass.
"I'd like to make a toast," she declared bold, "To Diana – my best friend, the woman of the night and the whole reason behind this party!"
There was a round of hearty cheers.
Diana smiled when Shayera then climbed off of the table, sat her glass down, and put her arm over her shoulder. "Di, from the bottom of my heart, I hope you're going to be happier than you've ever been and get everything you deserve." Shayera continued sincerely, earning a few 'aww's' in the process.
Pup still in her arms, Diana felt a slight prickle in her eyes before embracing the redhead and whispered a quiet 'thank you' when Shayera returned the gesture.
"To Diana!" Zatanna and Dinah cheered in unison and raised their glasses.
The rest of the bar followed suite, "To Diana!"
"This woman is my best friend!" Shayera went on to say again, "She's one of the most kick-ass chicks I've ever met, and I know she's going to make a great mom!"
Silence…
Utter, bewildering silence…
Diana's eyes widened significantly after the words left Shayera's mouth, and while it did take a little longer for her to understand, when Shayera realized what she had just said, her hand flew over her mouth.
Almost in unison, they turned their heads to the rest of the bar who was staring at them in wide-eyed confusion.
Then – CRASH…!
Diana's head snapped up when she saw that her mother had dropped her glass – the sound of it shattering on impact somehow amplified so that it filled the entire room.
"What did she just say?" the Queen asked in a deathly quiet voice– all signs of drunkenness gone as blue eyes were positively ablaze with fury. She was standing at her full height, but if that wasn't enough, anybody nearby shrank under the force of her anger radiating from her.
Diana closed her eyes and gritted her teeth.
As she had heard Tim say once, oh crap.
Later…
Wayne Manor
It was nearly one in the morning when the credits of their third movie began rolling. Out of the four of them, Bruce, Dick and Jason were the only ones left awake. Tim had fallen asleep near the end of the second movie and was currently curled up on his armchair, completely oblivious to Dick and Jason bickering about Chuck Norris, but it was pretty obvious by the occasional lazy yawns from both of them that they were close to falling asleep themselves.
Since one o'clock and relatively 'early' so to speak, Bruce didn't feel tired – while he knew the chances were slim that Diana would be back soon, he still wanted to wait up for her neverthe-
His thoughts were cut off quite abruptly when the sound of the front doors being thrown open echoed throughout the house.
Instantly alert, Bruce stood up slowly, posture rigid. Dick and Jason snapped out of their drowsy state and ceased arguing while Tim woke up with a start.
"What the…?" the teenager said, rubbing his eyes.
"Shh," Jason hissed as he and Dick stood up as well.
"Listen," Dick said quietly. In the distance, they heard two voices, one loud and furious, the other almost pleading, both incomprehensible.
Tim blinked. "Wait a minute that sounds like…"
"BRUCE WAYNE!"
All four of them visibly cringed as they heard Hippolyta's shouting.
Jason winced. "I'm going to take a blind stab in the dark here and say the Queen's not very happy at you."
Bruce didn't bother to respond as, despite his better judgment, he went to investigate.
Once he got to the lobby, he found a fuming Hippolyta and an exasperated Diana conversing very rapidly in Ancient Greek, neither of them having noticed Bruce yet.
Shayera was standing there holding a dog in her arms while Phillipus, Donna and the rest of the Amazons seemed to be struggling to stand straight and swayed.
Alfred must have heard the commotion as well, and, straightening the tartan robe he wore over his pajamas as he came down the main staircase.
"Good heavens!" he said, clearly bewildered. "Miss Diana, Master Bruce – what is going on?"
When Hippolyta turned around, her eyes fell on Bruce, and for a moment, he thought she was going to disintegrate with heat-ray vision – no doubt, were he were a lesser man, under the force of her fierce glare he may just have found himself ash on Alfred's clean floor.
"You!" she snarled, squaring her shoulders.
"Mother, please!" Diana tried only to be ignored as Hippolyta marched over to Bruce.
Admittedly, it took a great deal from Bruce not to show just how intimidated he was at the moment. Say what you will, the Queen of the Amazons at the moment could have made Superman back away in fear for his health and safety.
Bruce took a calm breath as he looked over to Diana. "What happened?"
"She's with child!" Hippolyta shouted angrily, startling everyone.
Bruce stiffened.
Oh no…
The Queen, however, wasn't finished. "You have the audacity to impregnate this woman, this warrior – my daughter! Were we on Themyscria this moment, and were you not smite down by the gods themselves, I would have taken my sword and fulfilled the deed myself! You loathsome, despicable," she began, too angry to continue.
"Your Highness!" Alfred said in a surprisingly sharp voice.
Hippolyta huffed before straightening up, meeting Bruce's midnight blue eyes with her lighter, sea-blue ones.
"I issue a challenge," she declared, having reclaimed some semblance of control. "Tomorrow I will decide on your true worth as a warrior and the caliber of your skill – be warned, if I do not like what I see, this marriage will not happen. I will see to that myself."
"Mother!" Diana said absurdly.
Bruce's eyes narrowed as his hands balled into fists with anger.
"So be it." He said, keeping his voice steady as to not upset anybody any further.
Hippolyta then marched off, her Amazons following suit as they returned to their camp in the backyard. Donna didn't go after them, looking between Bruce and Diana helplessly with a small frown on her face – she looked disappointment.
Out of the corner of his eye, Bruce caught the guilty look on Shayera's face – it didn't take long to piece the puzzle together, but he would get to her later, right at that moment, what bothered him more was the fact that Diana's eyes were unnaturally bright as if she was going to cry in frustration at any moment.
He then walked over to her and put his arms around her. She laid her head against his shoulder and with a miserable sigh, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Neither said anything as they just stood there, both wondering what they were going to do next.
"Oh, I know I know I know I know I know I know,
About your kind…
And so and so and so and so and so,
I'll have to play…"
"If you think you're getting away – I will prove you wrong,
I'll take you all the way – Boy, just come along –
Hear me when I say – Hey…!"
- Sophie Ellis Bextor, 'Murder on the Dancefloor' Lyrics
"My mother-in-law speaks not a word of English. I speak not a word of Tajiki. So I smile at her ingratiatingly and she fixes me with a beady eye."
- Wilbur Smith
A/N: I'm finished? Whoa, yay! I'm finished! Okay… so, a lot of random and somewhat serious stuff happened here – Bruce is in a LOOOOOT of trouble – I'm gonna get a lot of questions about Hippolyta I know it, but if there's something else you want to ask me, please PM me. Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Okay, first up, the whole Shayera trying to get the girls into a gay bar – I watched a movie a couple of years ago where the girl's best friend did the exact same thing, I was still rather… naïve at the time, but when I asked my mom about it, she laughed and said "They'd be safe there" – I didn't know what 'safe' meant until I thought about it afterwards, and when I wrote this, the idea came up and I couldn't stop laughing at it. (I can't remember the name of the movie now, but if you know which one I'm talking about, please tell me!)
…Secondly, about Hippolyta, I've been reading the new Wonder Woman comics, and, in my mind, if you were suddenly made a target of the Queen of the gods by the philandering King of the gods because you're with his baby, you'd be pretty pissed too… I have an idea to take this idea further if I write a sequel, but if not, you could just chalk it up to Hippolyta being a really angry drunk.
As, the songs I was pretty vague at mentioning are the following: 'Dirty Diana' by Michael Jackson (I love this song but I can't help giggling a little every time I hear it), 'We R who we R' by Ke$ha and lastly 'Stupid Girl' by P!nk.
Oh, and if you guys are wondering how Diana got the fake 'Batman's belt… I'll reveal that in the next chapter – don't think dirty now ;)
In Response with the previous chapter's reviews:
Mr. Oliver Queen: I will most certainly look into it!
Wonderwomanbatmanfan: I'm working on the one-shot as we speak – I'm struggling a little coming up with funny ideas, but I'll give the summary of Life with Amazons at the bottom.
yob3: Hey, no judging! No judging! Lol – and that's an excellent idea, thank you :)
Delta808th: No, no, thank you – and I do hope this makes up somewhat for the lack of interaction – more next chapter.
jada121: There will be more Bruce and Jason, I promise – and I know the song, it's sweet, and it's along the lines of what I'm looking for, but not quite there yet – but thank you :)
digimonfanatic4ever: I do have plans for Damien… however, he will not be appearing right now – patience, friend.
Maculedes: I think so too, I love how they write him in his comics – I just hope I do the character justice.
Originalmartus: Thank you! More Jason next, promise!
Lloyd RPGFan: I have a plan for Dick and Babs… and Jason and Donna… and for everything… because I'm awesome (lol, just kidding – but thank you for the kind review).
StraightedgeWingZero: …I'll see about the whole arresting thing… and yes, it was quite funny the first time.
Guest: *sigh* I figured, but, the image I got as the cover didn't come with a caption on the internet, and I figured since both Bruce and Clark has black hair, and it's kind of hard telling who is kissing Diana, I'd use it anyway. Besides, it's pretty, and sweet… and pink… I like pink.
crushonjasontodd: Thanks, and about that kiss with Talia, I don't think so… he didn't do anything wrong, she's the one that kissed him, so unless anybody asks about that specifically or if Talia just magically appears again and tells Diana about it… no, no he won't tell anybody.
Gabriel-TDO: I just hope I can get it written down! I've got so many random ideas… I just haven't pieced together how they're going to fit in, though…
LaughingSenseless: Awesome? Moi? Mmm… well, okay just a little – haha, just kidding, but thank you anyway.
Thealphamale: More BM/WW interaction next chapter, promise! It's gonna be fluffy!
Abatwon: I sincerely appoligize for taking so long! Real life sucks!
Okay… well, he's that summary I promised for Life With Amazons:
(One-Shot/Companion piece to Bridezillas & Kryptonite) He had faced monsters, madmen and tyrants before, how hard could it be living in a house full of Amazon Warriors for a month? Well, between dealing with pregnancy hormones, his prodigal son, Jason's return to the Manor and his future mother-in-lawns subtle attempts to intimidate him, Bruce Wayne is about to find out.
Cool? Cool…
Leave a review… if you dare – Mwhahaha…! But, seriously, if you want, do it, if you want to ask questions via PM, be my guest – if you want to criticize, may it be constructive.
Until Next Time,
GoddessofDawn out