A/N I listened to a lot of different tracks while writing this...hopeful, or just general sad. "Aelethen - Pathless" by Aelethen on youtube was the thing I was listening to at the end of this. Plus, it seems to fit the atmosphere, at least to me, so maybe search it up and put in your browser and on loop while reading this chapter.

This made me sad, so there's a chance you may need tissues.

November came and passed. Snow fell, melted, hardened, and fell again so it remained light and fluffy. Estel still could not walk on snow, as much as he tried to and Elladan made some interesting patterns in the snow, and to annoy the human with his elven ability, which Elladan was quite happy to inherit that trait when the possibility was there that he and his twin could have been born without it.

It has been two weeks since Elrohir stood on his feet for the first time in months. It was a painful event, much like the times when they had to do his therapy (which they still had to do, but he did not consider it a torture anymore). Elrohir hated his failure that day and went hysterical for an hour. He was left alone with Elrond during that time until he calmed down enough to accept more people in close proximity, but he remained mute and unresponsive for the rest of that day.

Other sessions followed. Elrond feared Elrohir's damaged leg will be crippled for a long time before it regained full strength. The elf-lord prayed for a miracle.

While some problems passed, others replaced them. Elrohir could keep track of conversation and events, even though his response time was painfully slow. He would still have memory blanks, and that was fine, compared to him now having complete blackouts. The brothers and father unwillingly admitted that it was good he could not walk, for fear of hurting himself should he have an episode. Elrohir even claimed to have seen things that were not there.

But his moods, no one could do much to help that except let it run its course.

Elrohir was resting his eyes.

They were outside again, or half outside. Elladan and Estel were doing something, and if he wanted to pay attention to what they were doing, they were within sight. But that only made him feel anger and grief over their freedom and his prison. Yet if they were out of sight, then he felt lonely and even more depressed.

They brought him snow at one point, which he absently played with and made a sloppy sculpture of something he could not identify. If it were not so cold he wished Velegdal could come out and be with him too. But he needed a change of scenery instead of the now drab room he had been stuck in for the last few weeks. Which led him wanting to go back to his own room in the main house…but he did not want to do that because he did not want to be exposed to people. He could not trust himself to think half the time or treat them with the respect and courtesy they deserved.

Elrohir stared absently at his lap, feeling lifeless and empty inside. And yet he could not keel over. That was Elladan's fault.

And his nerves…oh stars above they were losing their non-existent minds. It was an unpleasant burning and he wanted to move to make it stop. So restless…

Elrond sat in another chair across from his son, keeping careful watch over his expressions, movements, and the vibes he sent off. Since Elrohir admitted about not wanting to go through this a second time, he had been a lot more watchful and close than before. If Elladan had not done the binding, then he would have done it himself. But was it for Elrohir's benefit at this point, or for selfish reasons?

The mood swings made it hard to tell, and Elrohir must be aware of the fact that he just has to ask to be released from that binding…

"Elrohir," Elrond prodded gently.

The question that normally followed was not asked; Elrohir knew what was being inquired.

The twin shook his head. "B-bad…"

Elrohir never spoke loudly, unless out of extreme emotional distress.

"I know, my son, but can you elaborate, for me?"

Elrohir shook his head again.

"Elrohir…" Elrond sighed. "You have been told repeatedly you cannot keep yourself bottled up. It does not help you, and by extension it does not help us help you. Talk to me: is being out here confusing you or saddening you?"

Elrohir said nothing immediately. Elrond had to prevent himself from showing outward grief when he saw Elrohir begin to shed waterfalls. Some point down the line Elrohir had managed to teach himself not to make a sound or have his voice quiver if he talked during these tearful episodes. But the amount of tears, it showed a great amount of anguish the peredhel twin was experiencing. The lack of sound made it quite scary to behold.

Elrond moved himself to sit before Elrohir and took both of his hands, as the no-head-touch rule still existed, except a consent rule had been added to it now.

"Y-y…y-you know w-what I t-thiiink?" Elrohir cast his glance towards his brothers enjoying the snow, while he was stuck doing nothing. And he still could not bloody talk clearly, so he put more effort into it. "They…free. I'm c-contained."

Elrond waited.

"U-useless…" He closed his eyes. "…S-stupid." Elrohir opened them again and looked upset, and the anger showed in his voice. "H-he ww-on't let me g-go."

"Elrohir," Elrond started once more, keeping his voice soft but started to show some firmness. "He did not want you to make any premature choices when you were not able to know the consequences of them. You know you can ask Elladan to release you, yes?"

Elrohir gave a reluctant nod.

"Then you must not truly want to give up, if you have not done so yet. I would have done the same thing if your twin did not firmly plant you here at that time."

'H-hate that he d-did it anyway."

"You are not stupid, Elrohir." Elrond moved on. "Evidence has shown you are wiser than your brother most often. You have not shown signs of losing that."

Elrohir continued raining waterfalls.

Elrond wished he could brush them away. "You are not weak either…In fact, you are the strongest one here, my son."

Elrohir locked eyes with his father, even though he still looked forlorn.

"You went through this once in your life and got your life back in the end. Here you are doing it a second time: not many would survive that."

"A-against my w-will!" Elrohir cried out.

"Child, you must not truly wish to depart if you have not beseeched your brother." Elrond's brows furrowed. "Do you want me to have Glorfindel speak to you concerning the things of Mandos before you go?"

Elrohir did not like the thought and shook his head again, beginning to feel weary from his grief. Upset with current circumstance, and upset because his father was right.

Elrond got out of his seat and he let go of Elrohir's hands, but he held his own out with his palms facing upward. "I want you to grasp my forearms."

Elrohir did not want to…

"Child, please?"

Elrohir did not feel the strain as badly as he used to when he lifted his arms, but his grasp was weak compared to what it was before…this. Slow enough to show his reluctance, he tenderly did what was asked of him. He felt Elrond's hands tighten over his own arms when he grasped the elf-lord's.

"Pull yourself up." Elrond said next, quiet and encouraging.

Oh, no…he could not, could not do that much. He was not strong enough…not strong enough…but he did not let go, even if that was all he needed to do to tell that he did not want to do this.

Elrohir's muscles tensed. Using his father for leverage, and after a few failed attempts (which he was so close to screaming each time), Elrohir stood: shakily and almost falling on his face, but Elrond held him up.

Elrohir refused to look up, though Elrond's expression was that of great love at that moment. "Agórel vae."

"A-a-da…" Elrohir could not take it anymore. "H-hug me?"

Elrond really did not need to answer that. With one arm he somehow managed to keep Elrohir standing while Elrohir, more audibly this time, wept into his chest. This was one of the times the consent was given, and Elrond stroked the back of his son's head while trying to soothe the flaming nerves that rested beneath the twin's skull.

Elrohir had readjusted the placing of his hands to grip to the upper sleeves of Elrond's robes; more out of self-reassurance given the positioning became a little awkward. Ada would not let him fall. Elrohir was just content to feel like an elfling again. He even made himself touch deprived when they were not doing their exercises. This…all that insecurity about everything melted away within this hold.

Ada would not let him fall…Elladan will not let him go foolishly…Estel will not abandon him.

He was safe.

Elrond felt Elrohir beginning to tremble, this time from the muscle strain. The father eased his son back into the chair, though Elrohir remained gripping on his sleeves as if it were a lifeline. Elrohir looked exhausted, but he did not seem so sad anymore.

"You have gotten this far, Elrohir. You are at a steep, rocky hill, but you have us to remove the rocks and show the covered path for you; just keeping walking this path for a while longer."

Elrohir gave a weary nod. "I t-try…"

He felt a kiss be planted on the crown of his head. By instinct he bowed his head to receive it: the humble gesture.

"That is all I can ask for, my dear son; what all of us can ask for."

Elrohir eased his grip by a small amount; even let a hand drop back down to his lap. He looked back to the snow covered ground. Elladan and Estel were laughing as they threw snowballs or tried to freeze each other with putting the cold substance down each other's backs. He did not even feel angry at Elladan when he watched.

He was going to overcome this…for them.

Agorel vae - Well done

...if that scene with them hugging each other ever gets drawn...I think I'd cry for real. (me being pathetic).