We Become Who We Are When We Fall In Love

by summerkid

Sent to live with her aunt in Texas, Santana comes face to face with a past she thought was long gone. She is shown the beauty in life through the eyes of her childhood best friend, Brittany, who ultimately shows her that life and love are one and the same... by making her feel it. AU

9. Chapter 9

Would Always Be Kept

June, 2006

Brittany is in her own world, swinging along on the tire swing just on the other side of the South Service Road across from her house. Her hands hold the rope as she lightly sways from side to side and her chin rests on the tire. It's clear to anyone watching her that she is thinking. But it's not just anyone who is watching her, its Santana Lopez.

Santana carefully walks across the South Service Road, curiously staring on as her friend appears to remain in her own world. She moves slowly across the dirt and gravel, not wanting a repeat of the last time she had startled Brittany, which caused the blonde to fall right on her behind. Luckily, Brittany spots her before she can speak.

"Whatcha doin?" Santana asks as she kicks some pebbles out of her path.

"Swingin'." Brittany replies easily enough but it's her tone that troubles Santana.

"Where's Quinn?" Santana wonders when she realizes that it's Sunday and usually Quinn and Brittany's families get together for some kind of barbeque or dinner. Brittany shrugs and looks away. Santana is now even more curious. Her friend is never exactly one to keep things to herself and she most certainly is not someone who stays upset by choice. So, she pushes onward. "What's up Britt-Britt?" She steps towards the swing and pokes her friend in the arm to get her attention.

"Probably kissing Finn Hudson." Brittany mutters and Santana is sure she heard wrong. Her face screws up and she shakes her head, almost certain that she has momentarily started hearing things.

"What?" Santana asks, completely dumbfounded if what Brittany speaks is the truth.

"The other day Quinn went to a boy girl party." Brittany starts and Santana isn't sure she wants to hear the story. But she remains quiet and waits for Brittany to continue. "I wasn't invited because the other kids think I'm weird." Santana's belly hurts at this, because Brittany isn't weird at all. If anything, those other and stupid kids are weird for not wanting her around. She makes a mental note to get back at these kids when she gets older and bigger. "Well, that's what my mom said when she heard from Mrs. Fabray that Quinn got invited to her very first girl boy party." Reset mental note to add Mrs. Pierce to the list. "Anyway, Quinn said they were playing games at the party and I figured it was a regular board game like Go Fish."

Santana knows full well that the kids back home in Boston stopped playing board games and Go Fish at parties now too. Instead, they play games where there's a bottle to spin for a kiss and seven minutes behind a closed door with the opposite sex. By the look on Brittany's face, not only has she never gotten to spin a bottle or have one land on her, but she's never been stuck in a small broom closet with a boy for seven minutes.

Santana considers Brittany damn lucky. She had the unfortunate luck to get trapped in a closet with Matt Rutherford at her first boy girl party. One minute and thirty seconds and one sloppy kiss later and Santana had pushed that door wide open. She couldn't get out of that closet fast enough.

But, she can understand the sadness in Brittany's tone. In movies and television, people refer to these gatherings of adolescents a 'rite of passage'. Santana would like to rephrase that term and refer to it as 'uncomfortable and forced'. It sort of reminded her of a smile. Like the smiles people give because their parents tell them too. Regardless, it's evident that her friend Brittany is a little jealous that Quinn got her first kiss.

"And now I'll be the last one to get my very first kiss." Brittany whines with a pout and Santana wonders if there is even a way to remedy this. She jams her hands into her pockets and twists her body from side to side as though she is stretching. She looks up when she hears Brittany's feet scuffle against the dirt and rocks on the ground. "Have you gotten your first kiss?" Brittany asks, suddenly remembering that she might not be the only kiss virgin present.

"It's not as awesome as everyone makes it out to be." Santana assures her after she nods an affirmative to the question. But her words do nothing to alleviate the distress Brittany is feeling in her preteen heart. "Actually, it's kinda gross." She adds as she scrunches her nose when she remembers the way Matt Rutherford's saliva strung between his braces when she finally pulled away.

"The movies make it look awesome." Brittany comments with a pout.

Santana's eyes fall to the ground where she kicks a few rocks and pebbles around because Brittany does have a point. The movies always make kissing look so romantic and nice. She comes to the conclusion that her mom has been right all these years in saying 'don't believe everything you see in the movies'.

The first time she heard that she figured it was just because she had just seen Peter Pan and was convinced that if she thought enough happy thoughts she could fly. Of course it would seem plausible to a seven year old that anything is possible. Santana spent hours in her room concentrating super hard on good thoughts, but would always stay grounded, never taking flight. When her mother found her upset after the many failed attempts she had to sit her daughter down and explain that a lot of times, movies are just make believe.

So, with that thought in mind, pretty much anything from that point forward Santana took as entertainment and never anything of possibility. But even with the reality to her mother's words, Santana always felt and hoped that somewhere beneath the fantasy of it all, there was some truth to the wonderful lives that her favorite characters had on screen. With that bit of hope, Santana decided that this situation should be no different. Brittany's dream of a very first kiss, like the ones in the movies, should come true much like seven year old Santana's dream to fly like Peter and Wendy.

"I have an idea." Santana says and she holds out her pinky for Brittany to grasp with her own pinky. "I pinky promise that by next summer I'll kiss you if you haven't been kissed yet." Brittany tilts her head to the side and eyes her friend up with a curious, yet relieved look. For a moment, she hesitates, but eventually her pinky grabs a hold of Santana's.

"You promise." Brittany asks. Santana shakes her head and smiles.

"No, Britt." She tells her. "I pinky promise." They squeeze their pinkies together, ensuring the promise is locked in, and then loosen them into a more comfortable grip.

"Are girls allowed to kiss?" Brittany wonders aloud after a few moments. Santana's furrows her brow and shoots her friend a quizzical stare.

"Of course girls can kiss." She assures her friend in a surprised tone. "You do know what a lesbian is, right?" She laughs out and bumps Brittany's shoulder with her own. "Besides, it's not like we're lesbians. Don't you watch MTV? Those girls on those shows are always kissing each other."

Brittany shrugs her shoulders and nods, figuring her friend is right. She thinks how silly she is for even asking if it is okay for two girls to kiss each other. Even if it wasn't though, she knows that she wouldn't mind kissing Santana a bit. In fact, she wonders if she can manage to make it to this time next year so that they can carry out this pinky promised kiss.

---

You Got To Lose to Know How to Win

December, 2011/January, 2012

Santana found it hard to sleep. She tossed and turned. When she was done doing that, she did a little more. A few times she got out of bed and walked to her window to look at the bedroom across the way. The curtains were drawn every time though. Even if they were open, she's not sure it would have made a difference. It's not like she would have gone over there anyway.

But, what made her sleep even more restless than the events that had transpired in the garage of Pierce Parts and Tires, was that today is Sunday. Sunday in Knox is when everyone in town gets together for church. Everyone includes the blonde whose advances she denied.

"Santana." Aunt Linda's voice comes booming into her room before she even does. "Oh." She is taken aback as she opens the door and finds her niece sitting up in her bed, back against the wall. "You're already up." Santana nods as her aunt stares at her for a second before vanishing back into the hallway. "Better start getting ready." Linda calls back, already in the kitchen.

With a huff and a few kicks with her feet to get the covers off of her, Santana pushes herself up and out of bed. She glances around the room that has become her room a few months ago and wonders when if it will ever feel like hers. Sure, her stuff is in it and she sleeps in it. But, it still feels strange. Before she heads towards the door to start making herself up for the day, she sends a glance out her window towards the window across the way. The curtains are pulled back and this pang in her chest that was so heavy last night returns. There is no doubt she will be seeing Brittany again, that is for certain. She just figured she could put it off for a few days or weeks or maybe forever.

As she walks down the hallway to the smell of bacon and eggs wafting their way from the kitchen, she wonders what all these feelings are inside of her. She feels bad and guilty and wrong. But, she knows she was right. Letting Brittany kiss her was a bad idea. Just as bad of an idea was kissing her back. At least, she reasons, she stopped it before it got out of hand.

Brittany should not just going around kissing people like that, especially when those people are Santana Lopez. Sure her lips were soft and it was kind of nice, as short as it was, but it shouldn't have happened. At least, that's what Santana keeps telling herself. As much as she reminds herself that pulling back and walking away was the right thing to do, there's something tugging at her that makes her feel bad for doing so. Even if she believes it was the right thing to do.

"Eat." Aunt Linda tells her as she places a plate of eggs, bacon and toast down in front of her.

Santana comes to, realizing that she had walked all the way from her room to the kitchen in a haze of thought. Thinking is exhausting and more than that, what she is thinking about is tiring too. Aunt Linda moves around the kitchen, eating as she cleans up all the pans and dishes she used to make breakfast. A nice distraction for a few minutes.

"You're thinking." Aunt Linda says to break the silence that has clouded over them since she sat down at the table.

"What?" Santana asks.

"You're moving your food around." Linda points towards her niece's plate, taking note of the eggs perfectly separated from the bread and bacon. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asks but Santana only shifts in her seat and brings her focus back down to her food.

"Uh, no." She shakes her head and sips her orange juice. "It's nothing." Aunt Linda takes a bite of her food and studies the girl across from her.

"I called your brother this morning." Aunt Linda continues, but Santana doesn't give her much of a reaction. "He's back in Boston."

"Oh, yeah?" Santana lets out without interest and finally takes a bite of her dinner. "Did you remind him that he doesn't have to take out the screens in the windows, because he never put them back in?" She obnoxiously blurts out.

"Santana, you know your mom is doing a good thing, right?" She wonders if her niece understands that going into rehab is actually a step in the right direction. "I get this is a difficult…"

"No!" Santana shouts and slams her fists down on the table making the dishes shake taking Linda by surprise. "Stop defending her." She yells, frustration taking its toll on her.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are! You and Miss Pillsbury keep telling me that this is hard, but she's doing it to get better. You can't play the victim when you're the one hurting yourself."

"You're one to talk." Aunt Linda argues.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Santana scoffs.

"Santana, what do you want? You want someone to feel bad for you? Fine." Linda raises her hands as though she's giving up. "Go ahead, feel bad for yourself because I'm sure as hell ain't gonna do it."

Santana watches her aunt go about eating her breakfast like they weren't just having a serious conversation. She studies the way Aunt Linda can let things, like all the crap Santana has been throwing her way, just roll off of her shoulders. If only Santana could not give a shit about the things her parents stack up on her shoulders. She wonders if there's something about living here, in this town or one like it, that makes people so easy going. People like her aunt and Quinn, who haven't exactly had it easy and who have had bad things happen to them, still seem happy and content somewhere inside. Then there are people like Brittany who exude this happiness that only seems attainable to those who live in a fairytale world. Santana is jealous of that ability.

These thoughts only bring her back to Brittany and the short kiss they shared the night before. Her shoulders slump and she becomes completely disinterested in continuing a debate with her aunt on the current status of her family. She stabs a clump of scrambled egg with her fork and stares at it for a few seconds, sighing as she does so. Her eyes flicker up to Aunt Linda, who is ignoring her, probably figuring she is being all huffy about the conversation she cut short. Understanding that she isn't getting any attention through way of sound, she takes a chance and starts a new conversation.

"Is it possible to do something you think is right but it winds up being wrong?" She starts and this peaks Aunt Linda's interest nearly instantly. "But, like, there's no way you could be wrong because you know someone will get hurt and that makes you right. But, somehow, someone still gets hurt." Santana ponders away out loud all the while looking down at her food and Aunt Linda listens quietly, wondering if her niece is asking these questions to herself rather than towards her.

When Santana looks up at her, Linda realizes these are the questions of her seemingly confused and stubborn niece who is desperate for some sort of answer and not the angry girl who was dropped off on her doorstep. Aunt Linda twists her lips in thought and breathes out slowly through her nose. The dining room is silent for a few seconds as she gathers up answers to Santana's somewhat troubled mind.

"I think that sometimes what seems to be the wrong thing to do is actually the right thing to do." She philosophizes. "That's the hardest part about growing up. We makes mistakes and wrong choices, but then again, if we didn't we wouldn't wind up being the people we are today. Every day we run into choices. It's what we do in the face of those 'forks in the road' that determine our fate." Santana is now wondering if she should reconsider asking her aunt for advice in the future. It feels like a riddle or an excerpt from the Bible and its exhausting trying to decipher. "Perhaps a thing to remember is," Aunt Linda continues. "It's not always about right or wrong, but more about how you feel. It's about the moment, consequences be damned." Santana is grateful for her aunt's ability to not point certain things out. It reminds her how much of a Lopez that Linda really is and it is very much appreciated. Aunt Linda sometimes knows when not to ask questions.

Santana isn't sure if she is happy to not be asked certain questions because she doesn't have the answers or if it is the question she fears most. Either way, she can count on Aunt Linda to read her and understand that sometimes unasked questions are easier to answer if they are posed in specific ways.

They reach the church at about a quarter to and the outside is already slimming down with the town's folk heading inside. Santana wonders if she stalled enough at home to avoid a confrontation she is not yet ready for. With Aunt Linda telling her in a hushed tone to 'hurry up', Santana glances around the sidewalk and the steps just before the doors of the building and is about to let out a sigh of relief.

"Do you know how bad it looks to have the mayor saunter in at the last minute?" It's the sound of Mrs. Pierce's voice that sounds a mix of Texan girl and snobby woman, and it catches both the Lopez women's attention.

"I said I was sorry." Brittany mutters in a huff trying to push her mother's hands away from her hair and jacket. Aunt Linda smirks at her niece but Santana is unaware as she is too busy trying to walk away while getting a look at Brittany. They catch one another's eyes and Santana can see it in those blue eyes that Brittany got as much sleep as she did the night before.

"Shh, come on girls." Mr. Pierce shushes them and motions for them to take the small steps up to the door where Linda and Santana are standing. Santana looks away as Brittany steps up behind her and awkwardly smiles at Mr. Pierce. "Ahh, see." He jokes and points to their neighbors. "Just a slow start out on the service road." He chuckles and Linda offers him a friendly nod and smile. "After you." He grabs the door from Linda and ushers all the ladies into the building.

The rest of the town's congregation is still talking so they have snuck in at the perfect moment. While Aunt Linda and the Pierce's look for a place to sit, Santana is desperate to find a spot that only seats two, or one. She's sure her aunt can handle the Pierce parents better than she can, but that's the least of her worries. Just as the sweat is starting to accumulate between her breasts from an uncomfortable situation, Santana's eyes land on other familiar ones.

"Hey, I'm gonna go sit with Quinn." She tells her aunt in a low voice, her eyes flickering over to Brittany for less than a second who is watching her curiously. Aunt Linda nods and glances around for a spot for herself, momentarily happy for the hour of peace and quiet she'll get from being at least a few feet away from the stressful teenage girl angst she never signed up for but loves regardless.

"Come on Brittany." Mrs. Pierce says as she grabs at her daughter's arm and tugs her towards a pew in the front.

Santana watches on as she follows slowly behind the Pierce women and inches into the pew a few feet behind them where Quinn is waiting for her. She and Quinn share a smile as way of greeting before her eyes travel down the rows of Knox City people until landing on a certain someone. Of course, her leering only lasts so long, because every few moments Brittany looks back and catches her staring. Clearly Santana, as stealth as she is, tears her attention away from and turns each time to say something to Quinn. This only lasts a certain amount of time until the blonde sitting beside her starts getting intrigued by her friend's current state.

"What is wrong with you today?" Quinn whispers between hymns and excerpts, and bumps her shoulder into Santana's.

"What?" Santana throws back incredulously and a little loud for church, as she receives a few glares. "Nothing, I'm just…" She looks around, over at the back of Brittany's head for a second and clears her throat. "I'm in church." She explains with a wave of her hand and Quinn rolls her eyes and shakes her head, pretty much giving a 'whatever' without having to actually say it.

An hour and fifteen minutes later and the place is clearing out. Santana shoves the book back into the slot in the pew in front of her and sighs. Just one less Sunday she thinks right before she looks up and sees Brittany being scolded in a hush tone by her mother a few seats ahead. Her brow furrows and her nose crinkles as she watches the way Brittany is listening but is clearly offended by whatever it is her mother is saying.

"Is she nasty to everyone?" Santana wonders aloud and Quinn lets out a snort when she follows her line of vision.

"If she wasn't I think we'd all believe she was overtaken by a pod person." She replies without much interest in the topic of Annie Pierce, mayor of Knox City.

"Even with her own daughter?" Santana asks and pushes herself up from the pew to allow Quinn and the rest of the Fabray's to fall out into the aisle as well.

Without getting a response or a last look, Santana is rushed out onto the sidewalk by Quinn and her parents to Aunt Linda who is impatiently waiting for her. Linda waves to the Fabray's but motions for Santana to hurry up. The international signal for 'I've got shit to do'.

"I'll call you later." Quinn calls out when Santana gives her a final wave and an eye roll before she goes to meet her aunt.

"Hey, Quinn." Brittany's voice catches Quinn's attention and she turns with a smile. It falters for a moment when she locks eyes with the mayor, but they both are quick to look away from one another.

"Hey, Britt." She greets in return.

"Where's Santana?" Brittany wonders, giving the area a quick look around.

"You just missed her." Quinn points over to where Miss Linda's truck is already driving down the road and further away from them. She can tell by the look on the other girl's face that she is more than just disappointed about not catching her outside of church. "Everything alright?" She asks.

"Oh, yeah." Brittany waves off the idea that there can be anything wrong. She even offers a not very believable chuckle and playful eye roll. "I just, ya know, I've gotta go." She points over her shoulder and awkwardly takes a step back. "Umm… yeah, so I'll talk to ya later."

"Okay." Quinn watches as Brittany scurries away and she wonders not about what just happened, but what is happening.

Back in Aunt Linda's truck, cruising its way down the South Service Road, Santana stares out the passenger side window deep in thought. She wishes she had zero thought, or at least another thought. But really, there's only one thing running through her mind and it's bordering on annoying.

"I'm gonna drop you off and head into town." Aunt Linda says as she is about to pull into her driveway and Santana nods, thankful to be taken out of her own head. "I have a few errands to run. You'll be fine by yourself, right?" She asks and Santana snorts.

"I have 911 on speed dial Aunt Lee." She mocks her aunt as she leans down to grab her purse she'd placed on the ground by her feet.

In true fashion, Aunt Linda waits until she is actually inside the house before she even begins to pull out of the drive way. Just before she sees the backlights vanish beyond the bushes between the houses' driveways, she hears two different sets of horns beep quickly, letting her know that the Pierce's are home as well. She lets the screen door close and shuts the main door behind her with a sigh.

She's barely changed out of her church clothes when she hears a knock at the front door. Her breath catches in her throat and she nervously sends a glance out across the yard to Brittany's window. It's silly because it's not as if she can tell just by looking at a window whether or not it is Brittany at the front door. When she hears the knock again, she pulls her shirt over her head and tugs it down before making her way down the hallway and to the front door.

"Santana Lopez?" A guy in a brown outfit asks after she opens the door.

"That's me." Santana leans against the doorframe and crosses her arm, giving the truck parked just out of the driveway a good look.

"I've got a few packages for you." He tells her as he pulls a clipboard out from under his arm and holds it out for her. "I just need you to sign here." He points towards a line with an ex with his pen. With a confused look, Santana accepts the pen and signs her name anyway and she moves to the side as the guy carries the boxes into her aunt's house. He waves her off with a nod of the head when she hands her the last of the packages.

Santana watches the delivery guy run back to his truck as the sky opens up and rain comes pouring down. She closes the door with her foot and settles the last box down by the rest of them. All together there are five packages and all of them are from the same address. Without having to open them, she knows what they are. Maybe not exactly, but she knows they are the same kinds of gifts her father sends her any year that he can't see her.

She pokes one of the boxes with the toe of her sneaker and crosses her arms over her chest. Considering the shape and size of the box, she can safely assume that it is a pair of designer shoes. This means if there are shoes in one box, that the chances of one of the other four boxes holding a designer handbag are pretty high. For the first time in her life, she isn't itching to tear the box apart. For the first time in her life that she can remember, she could honestly care less about what is inside of those boxes.

But, of course, her curiosity gets the best of her. Not because she wants to see if he picked out good stuff, she already knows he did, but because she wonders if she can convert her dad's love by how much money he spent on her. She chews on her thumbnail for a moment, eyeing the boxes up from smallest to biggest before she goes to grab a knife from the kitchen to cut them open.

With the knife in her hands, she twists her lips as she decides which box is going to be the lucky first one opened. Figuring bigger is better, she starts with the smallest one and slits through the tape. She was right about this box, its shoes. They're three hundred dollar high heeled boots that she never asked for. She puts them back in the box and grabs another.

She goes through them, box by box, until she's left on the floor in front of the door in the middle of open boxes and over a thousand dollars of merchandise. The boots her father got her don't hug her and say 'I'm proud of you'. The purse doesn't kiss her forehead and let her know she's a good daughter. The clothes don't invite her over for family dinners and ask her to babysit her baby sister because she should have her older sister in her life. None of these things say 'I love you'.

There isn't even a card.

Santana grows angrier with each glance at the gifts her father sent her for Christmas. All they do is remind her that she's in Texas and not in Boston and that her mother is in a rehabilitation center for substance abuse and that her father's first instinct to 'help' her was by sending her away. She hates these presents and everything they stand for. Even more so, she hates them for what they don't stand for. And even worse, she hates him.

A short laugh escapes her lips and she rolls her eyes at herself. Her vision has gone blurry because she's crying. She doesn't like crying very much. Not when she thinks about her father especially. She pushes herself up from the floor, as though the gravity from a standing position will disintegrate her tears instantly. But it doesn't work. She's still crying.

Santana yells at herself for letting this get to her. She's mad at herself for letting him disappoint her yet again. For some reason around the holiday's or on her birthday or on a Saturday, she always seems to give him the benefit of the doubt.

She pulls the inside door open and pushes the screen door with force. Boots fly from her hands and out onto the front of the house, into the dirt and gravel of the driveway. A designer bag gets flung through the air and bounces onto the pebbles and into a puddle. Clothes dance in the wind as they get thrown out of the house and into the dirt.

Santana follows all of the articles she has just tossed from her aunt's house and to the front yard, grabbing the knife first. The tears streaming down her cheeks melt away as the rain hits her face, allowing her to successfully mask her sadness with the anger pouring out of her. She slips on the small patch of grass in front of the house and curses before she gets back up and stalks over to the boots.

She kneels down and grabs one of the, now ruined, leather boots and stabs the knife into it. Slicing it down the side isn't as smooth as she thought it would be, but it only fuels her fire. The tears are still forming and coming out, but she ignores them as she shouts 'I hate you' against the wind that slaps her face.

The knife drops and she can feel the rain hit the palms of her hands. Her head falls and her chin bounces against her chest as sob rack through her body, no longer able to find strength to yell at inanimate objects. She's cold, but she's too tired to get up and she knows that she should probably clean all of this up before Aunt Linda gets home. But, all she can do is cry.

Out of the corner of her blurred vision, she sees a foot kick the knife away from her and just as quick two strong arms are wrapping themselves around her. Her body is pulled into an embrace and when her head hits the body of the person, she sees the wet blonde hair and knows who the arms belong to. All of her thoughts from earlier in the day are the least of her worries and she completely forgets that she hasn't spoken to Brittany since last night. Instead, she's wondering why she can't just wallow in her misery alone.

"What are you doing here?" Santana asks in a loud voice, trying to hide her face from Brittany.

"I…" Brittany remains still, keeping the other girl close to her. "The lights went out in my house. I was comin' here to see if you guys were out too." She explains as she takes a look around at what used to be Linda Lopez's front yard. Brittany is in a state of shock at the scene she has stumbled upon and it hurts her heart. "Let's go inside." She tells Santana and squeezes her closer.

"Go home Brittany." Santana chokes out, trying to pull away, but Brittany doesn't budge.

"No." And with that stern but gentle 'no', Brittany pulls them both up to their feet and leads them into the house. "Come on, use your feet." She says softly when they reach the steps to Aunt Linda's porch.

The water drips from their bodies and their clothes and onto the wooden floor of the house. Other than that, it's quiet and it's dark. Brittany steadies Santana before she ventures off into the kitchen to grab a flashlight from one of the drawers. When she returns Santana is looking down at the boxes all of her gifts had come in. Brittany isn't sure if she's looking at them or she is simply not looking at Brittany.

They make their way down the hall and into the bathroom which is the darkest room in the house because it has no windows. Brittany of course forgets the electricity is out and flips the switch, which does nothing. She sighs and sets the flashlight down until it sort of illuminates the bathroom with just enough light.

"Take a shower." She tells Santana as she reaches in to turn the water on. "I'll get you some dry clothes." Santana doesn't respond, but it doesn't matter, Brittany leaves before she can really put together what is going on.

Twenty minutes later, Santana steps out of the bathroom with the flashlight in her hand. She wonders if she's alone. It would be rather fitting, she thinks, considering the massive meltdown she had. She shines the flashlight to the right wondering if Aunt Linda or Brittany or both are sitting in the living room. Or either or one or neither could be waiting for her in her bedroom.

"I cleaned up all that stuff." Brittany's voice comes from the left and she flashes the light to shine on her. "I didn't know what you want to do with it, so, I tossed everything in a plastic bag." Santana sees her motion towards her bedroom which she assumes is where the bag is and she nods. Brittany watches Santana walk towards her and then into her room. "I got some candles from my house when I grabbed dry clothes. I don't know where your aunt keeps 'em here." She explains the dimly lit room. "I figured you'd want something more than just a flashlight that seems to need new batteries." She points to the flashlight in Santana's hands, but the other girl isn't even looking at her.

Santana nods a few times as she places the flashlight down onto the bedside table behind the head of her bed. She pushes her blankets away from the sheet so she can get under them. Brittany stares on as she slinks into the bed, letting her back rest against the wall and her feet hang off the side of the bed. She takes a step towards the bed and sits down by the foot of the bed unsure of what to say.

So, she doesn't say anything and they sit in silence. Brittany has never met someone who shut everyone out so much. She's never been in the presence of someone who is so desperate to want but too proud to ask. But, it's gotten to the point with Brittany where she wants the ask part of the exchange. She's been putting herself out there so much only to be pushed away. So, when Santana doesn't say anything for a good amount of time, Brittany decides to leave.

Before she can get too far away, a hand grabs her wrist and she is stopped. She looks down at Santana's small hand and fingers wrapped around her wrist. Her eyes find those dark ones that are so sad and full of uncertainty. She can tell, however, through their tortured haze that they are asking her to stay. So, she does just that.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asks as she turns to face her friend on the bed.

It's a chance a question. She knows she'll get one of three possible answers. A shrug followed by a grunt which will mean 'no' but that Santana isn't going to tell her either way. Or Santana will tell her 'I don't want to talk about it'. Then there's the third option and the one that Brittany wants. It's the one where Santana will wipe her eyes, maybe sniffle a bit, and tell her exactly how she feels.

"No." Santana whimpers.

Brittany's heart breaks. It is apparent that she is not going to be receiving the first of possible outcomes to her question, but she holds her breath, waiting for more. Santana's head hands as her fingers play against each other, much like the words in her head that wage war with the way it feels in her chest.

"What's wrong?" Again, Brittany takes a leap and hopes that beside her, Santana will leap too. Santana lifts her head and looks up to meet Brittany's eyes, showing her friend the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"My mom's an alcoholic." Santana reveals without much feeling. She shrugs her shoulders, the corners of her mouth turn upside down and looks away. "I knew it too. I knew it and I pretended like it wasn't anything. I mean, a lot of people drink after a day of work and on the weekends." She explains and Brittany uncomfortably shifts beside the bed. "I don't want to end up like her, all alone and drunk." Santana chokes out a sob and her faces falls into her hands. Brittany frowns and moves to take a seat on the bed next to her.

"You're a kid." Brittany reminds her and Santana sadly chuckles.

"I'm no kid, Brittany." She says with disappointment.

"You're only seventeen. Your parents are the ones who are supposed to make sure you don't do stupid things. You're not supposed to keep an eye on them." Brittany explains what she meant by the term 'kid'.

"Well, they missed a lot then." She looks up at her friend as though challenging her to say different. "The first time I tried ecstasy I didn't come home. I passed out in the back of Puck's mom's car that he stole that night. He was so fucked up he got a ride home from someone else. I woke up in a parking lot with some cop knocking on the window." Brittany closes her mouth to keep herself from saying something foolish. "When I finally got home the next night, my mom just asked me how school was. It was a Sunday and I was fourteen."

"I..." Brittany wants to say something, but nothing very good comes to mind.

"I don't expect you to say anything." Santana sighs after a few long seconds of silence. She knows that sometimes people talk just to talk, not looking for answers, she never thought she was one of those people until now. "There's nothing to say." She shrugs her shoulders.

Santana wipes her face and sniffles, trying her best to compose herself. She clears her throat and shifts in her spot on the bed and looks down at Brittany's hand on her leg. She's been here in Knox City for over four months now and she realizes she has barely asked Brittany a thing about herself that hasn't already been given to her.

"Do you like it here?" Santana asks.

"In your bedroom?" Brittany replies and arches an eyebrow as she looks over at her friend. Santana smirks and rolls her eyes. Brittany chuckles and shrugs her shoulders as she sighs. "I don't know anything else."

"Yeah, but regardless, do you like it here?" Santana repeats in a different fashion. "Like, do you wanna live here forever?"

"I wanna be wherever I'm happy." Brittany tells her. "My mom wants me to go to the University of Texas and be a cheerleader there like she was."

"But…" Santana drawls out when she realizes there is a 'but' coming.

"I'm not just a cheerleader." She laments. "I like fixing cars and music and reading."

"And dancing." Santana adds and gets a smile in return.

"And dancing." Brittany agrees with a nod and watches the way her fingers tug at the thin blanket covering Santana's leg. "Sometimes I think she sees what everyone else sees when they look at me." Brittany's head hangs while Santana twists her lips, wondering exactly what it is Brittany means.

"What does everyone else see?" She asks in a gentle voice.

"The dumb blonde cheerleader, who peaks in high school, gets into college based on extracurricular and who my parents are but not smarts." Brittany explains. "I'm not an idiot. I know what people think of me."

Santana studies Brittany's face and the way those eyes seem pained. She wonders if that pain is always there, just carefully hidden behind a bright smile of hope, honesty and innocence. It is a pain she can connect with. But, she doesn't understand why Brittany would be someone who feels this kind of pain. The kind of pain where you are a book and everyone judges you by the look of your cover.

"You know that I'm not one of those people." Santana says as she places her hand to cover Brittany's. "When we were little, I thought you were the smartest person I had ever met." She smiles when Brittany smiles at her. "And I still do. Maybe they just don't see what I see. But, I'm kind of okay with that."

"Oh yeah?"

"As far as I'm concerned," Santana starts as she laces her fingers through Brittany's. "Everyone else is shit out of luck because you're gonna run the world one day." She winks when she finally gets a grin and a legitimate giggle from her friend.

"That would be ideal." Brittany muses, entertaining the idea of a place that she had reign over. Santana grins and sniffles away the last of her tears. She clears her throat and pulls her hand out from Brittany's grasp.

"So, University of Texas?" She asks, realizing she has not really given much thought to where she's going after high school. Even though Miss Pillsbury drops the 'C' bomb at mostly every meeting they have. Somehow, Santana manages to avoid the subject each time.

"That's the plan." Brittany claps her hands and squeezes them between her thighs as she nods her head.

"You just said that's your mother's plan." Santana reminds her. "What is it that you wanna do?" Brittany considers this for a second. The topic of college and where she's going has never been really a discussion but more or less a decision made by her mother. She figured college was college and it didn't really matter where she went. "Like, if you could go anywhere, where would you go and why?"

"I don't know." Brittany answers honestly. "I'd like to dance." She replies with a shrug, feeling as though it's a silly pipe dream that will never amount to anything. "Or maybe even do something with fixin' up cars." She smiles at this admission.

"So, why don't you apply to schools that have that?" Santana suggests. "I mean, don't you want to do something you want. You're the one who's gonna be stuck with whatever it is you choose. Not the Mayor of Knox City." She bumps her shoulder into Brittany's. "Besides, Texas isn't the only place in the country."

Brittany smiles and turns to look at Santana, who shifts under her stare. Blue eyes flicker from browns to lips and Santana feels something stutter in her chest. All of those things that had been clouding her mind earlier in the day come rushing back and the need to retreat aches in her bones. Brittany licks her lips and bites on the bottom one as she looks from Santana's eyes to her lips.

Santana swallows hard as she tries to bring the words forming in her head to her mouth. But it's the sound of the front door swinging open and Aunt Linda's voice booming through the house that pulls both Brittany and Santana out of their haze. Santana clears her throat and shuffles in her spot on the bed, finally able to tear her eyes from those devastatingly entrancing blues.

"You should go." Santana says in a low voice, unable to look over in Brittany's direction because she knows she will see an expression she can't bear. "Please." She whispers the plea, but Brittany doesn't have time to argue because Aunt Linda has already opened the door and is shining a flashlight on the two of them.

"There you are." Linda sighs with relief. "Did I interrupt something?" She asks when she notices the strange look on the faces of the two girls. Brittany shuffles to the edge of the bed and pushes herself up, leaving Santana by herself against the wall looking around as if trying to think of something clever to spit to her aunt.

"We were just keepin' each other company through the storm." Brittany explains, stepping towards the doorway that Linda is standing in front of. "I, uh, I'm gonna go." She motions with her hands that she wants to slip out of the room and Linda moves out of the way, watching the girl next door leave in haste. "Bye Miss Linda."

"Bye Britt." Aunt Linda calls after her in a bewildered tone and turns back to her niece once she loses sight of the blonde.

"The lights went out." Santana points out the obvious in an attempt to avoid any sort of questioning her aunt had been thinking up.

"Okay." Aunt Linda drawls out and eyes Santana up. "Well, I'm gonna go call and see if they can get out here to give us power." In seconds, Santana is by herself again.

Her hands come up to cover her face and she lets out a sigh. Her old flip phone buzzes against the table by the head of her bed and she groans. When she holds it out in front of her, she sees that it is a text message from Quinn so she flips it open.

Quinn: coffee?

She contemplates the offer for a moment, wondering if she wants to journey back into town. The lights go back on, which proves for a promising evening of game shows with Aunt Linda, and she figures it's probably best for her to get out and do something other than think. She goes over to her closet and grabs the converse her aunt gave her that she has pretty much dubbed her own and slips them on as she heads out her bedroom door.

Santana: holly's…leavin now

"Hey, Aunt Lee." Santana calls out as she pulls over a light jacket and zips it up. "I'm goin' to meet Quinn in town." She says, finally coming up to her aunt who is in the kitchen wrestling with something.

"'Kay." Linda nods with a smile. "Fill the tank up while you're out." She says with a pause in motion and moves to grab her purse on the counter. "Here." She tosses her niece a few bucks. "You should think about gettin' a job, I'm not made outta money." Linda points out as she waves Santana away.

Twenty minutes later and one round of iced coffee, Santana and Quinn are sitting on the patio of Holly's Daze Café. Quinn has been going on about the excitement around town with the state championship game coming up and how awesome it is that it's going to be played at one of the universities nearby. Santana listens on semi interested in this life of football and state titles, all the while wondering if she'd be just like Quinn if she had grown up in Knox City.

Her attention is stolen by something across the street and Quinn notices right away that Santana is no longer listening to her. She sips on her iced coffee, wondering how long it will take for Santana to realize that Quinn is privy to her fallen interest. And then Santana looks back at her, clears her throat, and then turns her focus back to where she'd been looking.

"What do you think of her?" Santana asks with curiosity. Quinn's brow furrows for a moment, confused at where this conversation has gone, until she follows her friends line of vision. Brittany is a little ways down the street getting into the passenger side of her mother's fire engine red Mustang. "I mean, if you were someone random in our school or the town and saw Brittany Pierce, what would you think?" Her conversation from earlier about how Brittany believes people perceive her echoes in her mind and she's intrigued at how Quinn could relay the vision of one Brittany Pierce to the common Knox City citizen.

"That's kind of a bogus question. I already know her." Quinn replies, lost at how she is supposed to answer a question she can't possibly comprehend.

"Humor me." Santana glares at her and sips her iced coffee drink. Quinn's eyebrows raise and she considers different ways in which she can respond.

"I've questioned her sanity before." She blurts out and she rolls her eyes at the look Santana shoots her. "I mean, it's fairly obvious why. She smiles, even when it's rainy, and I don't mean literally. The world could implode, legit riots breaking out, I mean full out fires in trash bins and broken bottles. But there would be Brittany, skipping along handing out lollipops or pixie Styx promising a better tomorrow." Quinn smiles at the image playing in her head of how totally true this description of Brittany is. "She sees the world differently, that's for sure. But," She pauses for a moment and looks down at her cup in thought. "She's not dumb. Everyone thinks she's a moron. The typical blonde cheerleader who lives in her own world and maybe she does. But, I mean, it seems like a great fucking place to be all things considered. And the best part about where her mind lives is that's where her heart is too, and it's so big." Santana half smiles and nods at this statement. "Her heart is so big. Her world too, and if she had it her way, everyone would live there. She's happy and joyful and she practically explodes confetti when she laughs."

"Geez, Q." Santana shifts in her seat and her laugh is mixed in with a huff. "You tryin' to tell me something here?" She wriggles her eyebrows suggestively, but Quinn doesn't budge, she just smirks back.

"It's in her eyes, ya know." Quinn watches her words fall into Santana and the way her eyes fall to her hand that is holding her cup. "The way she looks at you." She relays and in a softer voice as she leans forward to rest her arms comfortably on the table which gets Santana's attention on her. "She likes you." Quinn finally says, making Santana's eyes widen and her mouth opens in shock.

"What?" Santana coughs out, shakes her head and furrows her brow.

"You heard me." Quinn replies pointedly, with a quirk of her eyebrow. "She totally likes you." She repeats and sits back comfortably in her chair, smiling proudly at herself. "I can't believe you don't see it."

"You're ridiculous." Santana scoffs and waves her friend off, trying to distract herself by twisting and twirling her iced coffee cup around on the table.

"No," Quinn shakes her head, completely dismissing her friend's denial. "The looks, the smiles…" Her voice trails off and she looks to the side, her face appearing as though she is piecing the puzzle together even further. "Oh my God!" She gasps, sitting up abruptly and her hands come to the table. "You really didn't know." She whispers out forcefully, eyes twinkling with delight at her crime solving skills, so to speak. Santana just shakes her head, a nervous laugh coming out and she stares back down at the rings of water her sweating drink leaves on the table.

"Because she doesn't." Santana tries to assure her friend with a stern voice.

"Only she does." Quinn pushes, amazed at how daft someone as smart as Santana can be sometimes. "So," She shakes her head from her thoughts and looks up at Santana who eyes her curiously. "What are we gonna do 'bout this?"

"Umm, what?" Santana nearly chokes out, shifting around in her seat uncomfortably. "We?" She asks, raising her eyebrow and tilts her head to the side. "We're doing nothing," She tells the blonde. "Brittany's straight. Plus, I don't play that game."

"What game is that?" Quinn asks, glancing around at the Knox City residence passing them by and sips her iced coffee.

"The whole, 'I've only dated boys, but you intrigue me. Be the experiment I try to only ensure my heterosexuality.'" She explains, leaving Quinn to sit there with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. "'Oh, and FYI, I most likely will lead you on for a while' game." She nods at the end of her rant and crosses her arms over her chest.

"You're delusional." Quinn finally blurts out, tearing her eyes from Santana and leans back into her chair.

"For serious, I can't tell you how many straight girls I've been with." Santana shakes her head at this fact.

"How many?" Quinn wonders, looking back at the girl sitting across from her.

"No, for real." Santana continues, staring blankly at Quinn. "I can't tell you, far too many to count." The cheerleader chuckles and rolls her eyes as she plays with the straw on her plastic cup.

"Fine." She gives up after receiving a pointed look from Santana. "But, I'm telling you," She raises one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "She's definitely into you."

"Would you stop already?" Santana whines as she adjusts in her seat. "Just because two people kiss doesn't mean there's something going on." She clamps her mouth shut as soon as the words leave her lips and her eyes dart up to find Quinn's wide with surprise. Not just at the admission, but that she's right. "I mean…"

"So, you kissed her?" Quinn asks in a whisper and leans more into the table towards Santana who shakes her head and looks down the street to avoid eye contact. When Santana doesn't respond, Quinn smiles to herself and nods as she leans back. "Oh." She doesn't need to hear the words, she can tell by her friend's silence how all the kissing went down and it only proves her point. Brittany likes Santana.

The afternoon carries on and both girls do nothing to bring up that topic of conversation again. Santana doesn't because she's content with her thoughts on it being a preposterous idea and even that kiss the night before doesn't prove a thing. Quinn doesn't because she knows what she knows and if she knows anything, it's Santana and Brittany. Maybe it's been a few years, but some things never change.

All the lights to the houses are on as she drives her way down the South Service Road. Aunt Linda has the porch light on for her, as she usually does whenever she goes out at night. As promised, Santana filled the tank up and she even toyed with the idea of getting a job down at the gas pump off of Main Street. But, she figured that was going overboard with the whole southern girl vibe she's been trying on.

She can see from her spot in the truck that Aunt Linda is sitting in front of the television for a re-run of some game show. It's nice to have something to rely on sometimes. Even if it's just old Aunt Linda, hanging out in front of her television drinking tea and eating sherbet.

It's different for her here in Texas than back home. Time is different. Back in Boston at this time of year, everyone is itching for Christmas vacation. Down in Knox City, Texas everyone is anxiously waiting to see if 'our' boys get themselves that State Championship title. It's hard to believe that the holiday she looked forward to as a kid is almost something as a back story to the high school's football team.

Santana wonders how many Christmases it's been that Aunt Linda has spent alone. She thinks maybe it's a good thing that she got sent all the way out here. This year, Aunt Linda won't have to do Christmas alone. Sure, Santana is certain she isn't the best kind of company, but she's sure as shit better than nothing. She goes to grab her purse on the passenger side seat and her iPod fumbles from underneath. It stopped raining a while ago, so, she decides to stay outside for a little more fresh air.

Santana, headphones in her ears, walks to the tire swing to think. She remembers all the things she and Brittany have done together as kids. The memories, stories and most of all the promises, but, as much as all of this reminiscing should bring her joy, she only feels anger. She's mad that she's here, in Texas. She's mad at her parents for fucking up her life because of their own problems and her brother for leaving her to deal with it all alone. She's still mad at Brittany for kissing her. But mostly, she's angry at herself.

As the song playing from her iPod fades out and brings on another, something from the corner of her eye catches her attention. When she looks up, she sees Brittany walking towards her. Her hands are tucked away in the pockets of her Pantherette jacket. Her hair is in a messy bun and she's in sweats with both legs pulled up to her knees. She wishes she could just have alone time, something she's always had at home but never seems to get since she's been in Knox City, Texas.

When Brittany gets close enough, Santana tugs her ear buds from her ears and puts her music on pause. They don't say 'hello' to one another, just offer nods as way of greeting. Brittany pulls a hand from her pocket and reaches out to grip the rope of the tire swing. She pulls at it a few times, making the empty tire swing from side to side and forward and backwards while Santana watches.

"You know," Brittany starts in a slow way. "I kinda thought that, that night when you showed up in my room and told me all that stuff about your life back in Boston that you were sort of promising to be honest with me."

"I haven't lied to you about anything." Santana defends. Brittany tilts her head from side to side and sighs, letting her eyes fall to the ground where she kicks some pebbles away.

"Well, I guess more like you were promising to not push me away." She rephrases and looks back up to Santana's dark brown eyes.

"Promises are like rules." Santana says blandly as she bends down to grab a rock and skips it down the road ahead of them. Brittany whips her head in her friend's direction, her eyes staying on the stone jumping against the gravel for a few more seconds before looking at the other girl's hardened face. The shorter girl shrugs her shoulders and wipes her hands on the back of her skirt. "Made to be broken." She finishes without much of a change in her tone. The blonde's brow furrows and her mouth opens slightly to protest, but instead she turns her head forward and bites her bottom lip.

"When you told me all that stuff before and the other day," Brittany continues on, not even giving Santana the satisfaction of inching under her skin. "I was so proud of you, for being so open, because I could see how much it hurt." Santana's eyes fall to the tire swing as it sways back and forth, but doesn't say anything. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if it was different?" She asks as she tucks some blonde hair behind her ear and chances a glance out of the corner of her eye at Santana.

"What?" Santana quickly replies, turning her attention to her tall friend with questioning eyes.

"Well, like," Brittany shrugs and tilts her head from side to side, deciding on what words will be right to use. "If your parents were still together and stuff." She finishes, hoping she hasn't stepped over some invisible line of inappropriate or not. Santana's lips part, eyebrows scrunch together as she says the question in her head over and studies the blonde's uncertain demeanor.

"Uh," Santana lets out, shakes her head and looks back at the ground. "I mean, yeah." She nods a few times and shrugs one shoulder. "I wonder what it would be like if my dad didn't walk out on us and get married to a twenty-something and have a kid with her." She sighs out, defeat laced within her voice as she explains her current life. Brittany turns her head a bit to watch the range of emotion flash over her friend's face. "But," She licks her lips and gnaws on the bottom one for a moment before she lets out a long breath. "It isn't different. Is it?" She asks, not in a way that she wants an answer, but because she knows the answer.

"I do." Brittany breathes out as she gives the tire a nice, hefty push and moves out of the way to let it swing freely. "Think about if you never stopped comin' here that is." She explains as she steps side to side as though playing chicken with the tie swing. "I mean, we missed out on a lot of stuff." Brittany looks up and shoots Santana a cheeky grin.

"Like what?" Santana wonders with a small smile of curiosity playing on her lips.

"Well," Brittany sings out as she grabs the tire and hops in with ease. "Do you know how many top ten singles on iTunes we haven't danced partied to yet?" Santana laughs at this point her friend makes and she moves her spot to behind Brittany so she can push her on the swing. "I mean, that's math I can't even do."

"If it's a top ten, just multiply that by four because that's how many weeks are in a month." Santana begins to explain as she continues to push the tire swing. "Then multiply that by twelve because that's how many months there are in a year. And then you just multiply that by how many years we haven't seen each other."

"Santana," Brittany sighs and looks over her shoulder with a grin. "You are a show off and that is a hell of a lot of songs." They giggle at one another and Santana forgets her problems in that moment.

Rather than the girl who was sent down to Texas because of problems with the law, she's Santana hanging out with her best friend Brittany. Instead of being the girl whose mom is in rehab, whose brother is selfish and whose dad loves her through money, she's just a girl. And sometimes, in these random moments she has shared with Brittany since her time here, it's a great escape. And sometimes she wonders if it is escape she's in with Brittany, or if that is what reality actually is.

Because suddenly, she is smiling and forgets the bad.

Suddenly, she's happy.

---

Having been going to Friday night football games in Texas since she was a girl, Annie Pierce knows just when to go to the bathroom. About ten minutes before halftime the bathrooms are close to desolate, which is ideal when they tend to get rather overcrowded as soon as the horn blows signaling a break in the game. Plus, she doesn't want to miss the halftime show which features her daughter.

So when the Mayor of Knox City enters the bathroom and finds only two of the five stalls taken, she grins victoriously. She closes the door to her own stall and realizes who it is in the neighboring stalls when she hears the voices. She can tell a Knox City High School Pantherette from just a phone call, so, it makes it easy for her to decipher the voices of two cheerleaders from two stalls over.

"I don't know why she keeps giving him the cold shoulder." One girl says in wonder, but there's a slight annoyance in her voice. "I mean, he's been trollin' her since last year. She can't be that stupid." Mayor Pierce can hear the second girl cackle at her friend and she smiles to herself at how even through the gaps in generation, some things will never change in teenagers. "All she does these days is hang out with that new girl and apparently her and Quinn are bff's again." It's in this moment that Mrs. Pierce's body freezes up and she holds her breath.

"Well," The second girl starts. "Jen told Jessica that Karofsky told her that that new girl is totally gay. And not like Lindsay Lohan gay for a day. Like, Ellen gay." There's a half of a gasp that turns into a giggle and then the toilets flush, drowning out the sound of laughter. Mrs. Pierce remains still and waits as the other stall doors open.

"No. Way." The first cheerleader challenges her friend.

"Right? When I heard that I was all, 'that girl is totally not gay'. I mean, have you seen some of her outfits? Don't, like, lesbians where flannel shirts and work on cars?" The other girl muses aloud.

"If that's the case then Pierce is halfway there." The first cheerleader sighs. "I guess it would totally make sense. She's always working at her dad's shop, getting dirty in her monkey suit and she wants nothing to do with the most popular guy in school."

"For sure." She second, and obviously dumber f the two, responds. "Oh my God." She gasps and Annie Pierce braces herself for even more and possibly worse gossip. "You don't think that Quinn and Brittany were getting it on and that's why they stopped being friends?" The first girl huffs.

"Oh, please. Quinn Fabray got knocked up by some low life townie from Carter. So she was definitely not knockin' boots with Brittany. Unless captain of the Pantherettes is hiding something under that short skirt."

They laugh all the way out the door and probably all the way to the field where their team is getting ready. Mrs. Pierce finally lets out her breath, closes her eyes and shakes her head. When she flushes the toilet, she looks at herself in the mirror before she washes her hands. This was unexpected. But more than that, it is unacceptable.

When the mayor returns to the stands she is greeted by the cheers of the fans that are rooting on the dancers and Pantherette cheerleader's half time show. Her eyes scan over the crowd and she wonders how many of these other students drop her daughter's name in a bout of gossip. Not only that, but how many connect Brittany and the 'new girl', who she can only imagine is Santana, together the way those two cheerleaders had in the bathroom.

She makes her way through the packed out with fans bleachers and back to the middle of it all where her husband still is. She finds him easily enough and he smiles at her, oblivious to the world she's just stepped into.

Santana stands alone, off to the side, away from the crowd. The fans swarm to the field. Parents hug each other, players jump onto one another and coaches fist pump in the air. The cheerleaders clap their pompoms together fiercely, jumping up and down with smiles that light up the stadium more than the bright lights do. Some run to their boyfriends, other cheerleaders and random fans.

Her eyes find a blonde ponytail bouncing up and down. She grins, seeing at how excited Brittany is and how amazed her face looks. She wonders how that feeling of winning actually feels. How the adrenaline is coursing through and how the incredibleness of it all radiates in every bit of your being. It must be an indescribable feeling to win.

The Pierce's are busy congratulating Mrs. Hudson, along with the rest of the crowd, on how well her boy Finn played. Everyone telling her how many opportunities he is going to have with an arm like that. Mrs. Hudson, as proud as ever of her boy, looks out to the field and watches on as he celebrates with waving his helmet in the air and pointing to all of this teammates as he jumps up and down on the field. Mrs. Pierce smiles too, knowing full well the feeling of ending a season in a win just before going to the states championship game.

But, as she turns her attention to the field, she is drawn to something else. She finds her daughter, not sharing this joy with her own squad mates or even with a good looking high school football player, but with the girl next door. She's holding onto the metal bar of the chain link fence that separates the stands from the field while Santana leans comfortably over it, between her daughter's hands. She can tell that they are smiling at one another, if her daughter's grin is anything to go by.

Quinn bounces by them as well, giving Brittany a hug and Santana a wave, but she only stays with them for a few seconds. It's when Finn comes over and lifts Brittany up by her waist in a victorious way does she smirk. Brittany squeals and slaps his hands, but the both of them are laughing. Her daughter smiles and gives the Hudson boy a genuine hug. Mrs. Pierce's smile only grows when she sees Santana slink back, away from the fence, and say something to Brittany that looks much like a 'goodbye' or something similar.

---

Mrs. Pierce has set her plan into motion. The Hudson's are over for dinner and just as she wanted with Finn and Brittany immediately paired off, seeming to get along perfectly. She smiles to herself as she watches her daughter and the Hudson boy sit closely outside on lawn chairs in front of the fire pit. They are speaking quietly and for intents and purposes, intimately. She honestly can't think anything else can make the night go any better.

That is, until there is a knock at the door.

To much surprise, and for the first time probably ever, Mrs. Pierce is pleased to find Santana standing on her front porch.

"Oh, uh, hi." Santana greets with a fake smile. That topped off with her shifty feet only reminds the mayor of the girl's poor manners, only adding to why she isn't very fond of her. "Is Brittany around?" She asks and moves to the tips of her toes to peer over Mrs. Pierce's shoulder hoping to spot Brittany. Mrs. Pierce matches the phony grin with one of her own and tilts her head to the side.

"Well, she is. But, as you can see," The mayor motions her arm in a smooth line through the air to bring Santana's focus to the living room. "We have guests. I believe she's in the back by the fire, though, she may be busy." Mrs. Pierce adds and steps aside. Santana eyes her suspiciously, but steps inside the home. "I'll lead the way." She announces, quickly stepping in front of Santana to guide her through her home. Mrs. Pierce stops at the sliding back door and points towards the yard. "There they are." She points out in a quiet hopeful voice and she grins when Santana abruptly stops at the glass door and stares on.

They both watch Finn toss his arm over Brittany's shoulder and pull her in to a half of an embrace. The goofy tall boy smiles, says something and nuzzles his face into the side of Brittany's. Santana's jaw drops when she sees Brittany bring her free hand up to the one on her shoulder that belongs to Finn. Not wanting to see anymore, Santana shuts her eyes and shakes her head. She misses the part where Brittany pulls his hand away from her shoulder and nudges him away.

"I… uh… I have to…" Santana stammers and turns away from the door to head back the way she had come from.

"Would you like me to tell her you dropped by?" Mrs. Pierce asks all too sweetly before Santana can get too far. Santana pauses for a moment, thinks, but then shakes her head.

"No. It's not important." And with that, Santana leaves the Pierce residence.

Mayor Pierce waits for the sound of the front door shutting before she turns back to the yard to find her daughter and Finn sitting further apart than before and just laughing at the sky. Even if Brittany isn't going to wind up with Finn Hudson, she feels assured that at least Santana isn't privy to that bit of information.

---

"Hey Pierce." Without even looking up, everyone knows that it's Dave Karofsky. He leans his hands onto the bench table and regards each of the table's occupants with a rude glare and a demeaning name. "Lady Lips." He calls Kurt. "Lucy Lui." He refers to Tina as, who shoots her friends a quizzical stare, not quite sure if she is supposed to be offended. "Juno." He smirks at himself at the last dig saved for Quinn who simply rolls her eyes at him. Then he just gives Santana an awkward look while she stares him down before grinning back over at Brittany who watches him in confusion.

"What do you want Dave?" Brittany asks with a cringe as she shifts about in her seat, not sure she actually wants to hear why he has ventured over to their side of the lunch field.

"Wonderin' why you're sittin' over here with these losers when you're supposed to be over there with us." He points his thumb over his shoulder and snickers.

"You do know my boyfriend's on the football team, right?" Tina reminds him, but he ignores her and Kurt comforts her with a light pet on the arm.

"Back off Dave." Brittany waves him away, but he doesn't budge.

"Oh, come on." Karofsky pats her shoulder. "You're just cranky 'cause good old Finny boy wore you out the other night." He stands up proudly and crosses his arms over his chase as he watches the way his words sink into Brittany's brain. Santana's focus turns from Dave to Brittany in surprise and disappointment. Quinn's intrigue turns to alert and brings her attention to Santana.

"What are you talkin' about?" Brittany asks, irritation evident in her tone and she looks down at her lunch to avoid his stare.

"You and Finn, doin' the deed." He explains with enough ease to make the entire table feel uncomfortable.

"We didn't do anything." Brittany assures him and sends a quick look up to Santana before shooting daggers at him through the power of sight.

"That's not what he's been sayin'." Dave leans his hands back down onto the table. "In fact," He whispers. "He's been busy tellin' everyone how you like it too." He moves to brush some hair behind her ear but she bats him away.

"Hey, hey!" Quinn yells out and reaches across to nudge his shoulder so he's not infringing in on Brittany's personal space. "Back off."

"Chill out baby mama." He holds his hands up in defense and chuckles. "I'm only repeating what I heard."

"And obviously what you heard was a flat out lie." Quinn hisses.

"Like, when you said you didn't cheat on Finn and that you weren't pregnant with some stranger's bastard?" Dave challenges, making Quinn fall silent. "That kind of lie?"

"What's your problem?" Santana chimes in, leaning her elbows onto the table top and glares at the boy standing at the end of their bench.

"Nobody was talkin' to you, bull dyke." He stammers towards the end, which makes Santana laugh and the rest of the group fall into silence as they watch with wide eyes.

"Original and completely wrong." She pushes herself up from her seat and leans her hands down onto the table. "I get that you have some weird obsession with Finn Hudson. I mean, I don't get it. But I get why you are obsessed." She grins and steps back from the table to walk over towards Dave who is trying his best to remain unaffected by her words. "He's the captain of the football team, every guy wants to be him and every girl wants him." She stops when she gets right in front of him, crosses her arms over her chest and smirks. "Every chance you get you say something not even remotely clever towards my home girl Quinn over there." She motions to Quinn who is looking on just like the rest of them. "You're extremely racist. And don't even get me started on the homophobia." She shoots him a knowing look that is only shared between the two of them. "Yet, since I got here all I've seen you do is give girls crap for not wanting to mack it to your boy Finn. I mean, how do you know how 'awesome' he is? Do you really want me to go on?" She gives him a faux empathetic expression and he begins to back away from their table.

"Whatever." He waves her away and speed walks back over to his fellow footballers on the other side of the lunch field. A slow clap from behind catches Santana's attention back to the table and she turns to find Kurt looking between his friends until his hands fall to his lap.

"Hmm, no?" He shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his lunch. "Felt like a slow clap moment."

"That was amazing." Tina says when Santana moves back to her seat across from her. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone put him in his place before." She explains, checking out the rest of the tables responses to this triumph.

"So, you guys just put up with that clown?" Santana huffs, grabs her water bottle and turns to the other kids at the table with her.

"David Karofsky is just one of those guys." Quinn sighs, waving off the question of why Dave does the things he does.

"That's ridiculous." Santana distastefully groans. "He's a grade A asshole."

Before anyone else can comment on Dave Karofsky and his charmless manners the bell rings signaling the end of lunch. Tina and Kurt pair off and wave everyone a farewell as they make their way to their next class together. Quinn gathers her books and tells her friends she will see them later and goes to catch up with Kurt, remembering she has to talk to him about something to do with some family party, leaving Brittany and Santana alone together.

"Thanks." Brittany says quietly. Santana glances up from her books, slightly surprised to hear Brittany say anything considering she'd barely uttered a word while that meathead Karofsky was bothering them.

"Oh." She shakes her head and pulls her books to her chest while she adjusts her bag on her shoulder. "Yeah, it's…" She shrugs, not quite sure what Brittany expects her to say. Standing up to a douche bag isn't something fairly new to Santana Lopez.

"Well, thanks anyway." Brittany reinforces and takes a step closer. "Also," She twists her lips for a moment and looks to Santana's eyes. "Nothing happened between me and Finn." Santana's head jerks back and her brow furrows, feigning disinterest, but fails miserably. "My parents, actually my mom, invited the Hudson's over for dinner. He must have stole some of my dad's beers from the outside cooler and he tried to… but, I told him I wasn't interested." She quickly explains in a rushed breath. "I didn't even know they were comin' over until it was dinner time already."

"It's really none of my business." She forces out and tries to grin just to bear it, but instead she just looks over at the rest of their classmates heading back inside and others coming out for their lunch period.

"Isn't it though?" Brittany counters, quickly regaining Santana's inquisitive eyes on her. She smiles to herself and bounces on the balls of her feet before she moves to spin around.

Brittany is already too far away from her to argue anything of what she just said. Instead, she has events leading up to this moment racing through her mind and the words of a certain friend ringing in her ear. Oh, and she notices how Finn Hudson goes up to Brittany and tries to put his arm around her but gets undeniably brushed off.

Instantly, she has this feeling of having to put another Knox City High School Panther in their place. There's something about Finn Hudson that others think he's untouchable. In truth, he's a dumb jock who is probably going to stay stuck in this small town because once he graduates, if he even does, he is going to be pumping gas over on Main Street. It's a sad fact that poor Finn Hudson is unaware of, but a fact nonetheless.

By the end of the day Santana has given herself a mission. When that last bell rings, she takes her time at her locker, making note to keep an eye out for her target. She smiles and nods when both Quinn and Brittany stop by to see if she wants to get burgers at Carmel's after their practice. Of course she will want something to eat after this. She's always worked up a hearty appetite when she enters into a word to word combat with someone of lesser words. In fact, she's looking forward to the ravenous feeling she will experience later on in the day.

The rest of the students make their way down the corridor and to the stair case to leave school for the day, while the athletes hang around a little longer waiting to go to practice. She wonders how long she'll have before she gets caught or if she will actually get caught. Sometimes though, things are worth getting almost caught for. So after she finishes taking her sweet ass time getting her books ready, she makes her way down towards the Panther locker room and stands outside for a little bit.

She watches a bunch of the guys from the team walk in and out, some in full gear and some just carrying things because they either suck or got hurt. When they start pouring out in longer lengths of time, she figures her moment is now. Without a care, she pushes the door to the boy's locker room open and stalks through the rows of lockers. It would be obvious to any passerby that she is looking for someone, but luckily for Santana Lopez, the place is pretty vacant.

There's a gasp here and there as she marches through, but she ignores them and carries on in her search. Finally, she hears the sound of that laugh she would never forget even if she tried. The voice may have matured over the years, but the owner of said voice has not. He is unaware of her presence as he tugs on his tank top and reaches into his locker for his shoulder pads. Just as he is looking into the bottom of his locker for his mouth guard his locker slams shut and he is stunned to find none other than Santana Lopez standing in front of him. She eyes him up carefully as she leans up against his now closed locker and takes inventory of his dumber than rocks expression and his less than appealing wanna be boy band hair.

"What are you…" He starts but he's cut off when she pushes herself up from his locker and points at him.

"Do not say one word in the next thirty seconds." Santana firmly states and the school's starting quarter back stares on dumbfounded. "Nod so I know you understand." She crosses her arms over her chest when he nods on demand. "Good." She smirks when she sees she has his full attention. "It's been a few solid years since I've visited this rusty hole in a pipe town, but, it's pretty much the same as I left it." She starts, pushes herself further away from the lockers and towards Finn, forcing him to walk backwards. "Minus some tiny, interesting facts." She sends him a fake smile and tilts her head. "Since my return to Knox, I've learned me a few things," She holds out her hand and holds out one finger. "One, cowboy boots are what the folk here consider to be a sensible shoe, two, you's a baby daddy once removed and three, you've got a little not so secret crush on my girl Britt." She brings her hand back down to cross her arms over her chest again. "Nod." She warns while she continues to step towards him until his back is against the lockers across from his own. "But, let Auntie Tana fill you up with some knowledge. I know you remember exactly who I am." She gives him a look that tells him she can see right through him. "Your puffed up, marshmallow face is a dead giveaway. You turn a light shade of green and you sweat." She points out. "It's gross. And since I can smell the fear radiating off of you, you're gonna do me a solid." Santana grins evilly at him and holds a finger up to make sure he doesn't interrupt. "And before you ask me 'why', save your breath and settle for the answer 'because I said so'." With one final step towards him she stares into his eyes. "Stay away from Brittany and get your howler monkey buddies to leave Quinn alone. Believe me, if you don't, I'll make it so that not only will you not be able to hold a football, but you won't be able to hold your own balls. Get it?" She waits for it to sink in, but only for a second. "Nod." He nods again and she smiles. "Good. Now, make sure to stretch. Wouldn't want you to pull a hammy before the big game next Friday." And with that, Santana walks right out of the boy's locker room, leaving Finn Hudson as still as a statue.

When she walks out no one is the wiser and she is sure Finn is shaking in his Frankenteen size cleats. The afternoon's events definitely put a little more pep in her step as she makes her way over to Miss Pillsbury's office for their weekly meetings. She's not worried about getting in trouble for the little stunt she just pulled because she's sure Finn Hudson isn't about to let anyone know that some girl snuck into the boy's room just to tell him off. Actually, she wouldn't be surprised if he tried to spin it around and make it sound like she showed up in a towel and asked him to take a shower with her. That thought only fuels on her belief that she did something right and that she struck some fear in him, at least for the time being.

Miss Pillsbury is ready for her with pamphlets for colleges when she arrives and practically shoves them into her purse for her. The bad part about this whole meeting with this social worker lady is that if she wants to be 'better' she has to talk to the woman.

"Have you given anymore thought to what it is you want to do after high school?" Miss Pillsbury asks after Santana spends most of the first fifteen minutes of their session skimming through the pamphlets and filing her nails.

"When I was younger I thought I'd run off to Hollywood and be in movies." Santana explains. "I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I think I put a lot of people off with my straight forward bitchiness." She shrugs. "I was always so happy when summer came because I'd see Brittany and Quinn. They were my only friends really. We used to play all the time. House, on the tire swing outside my aunt's house and any other thing we could dream up." Santana pauses for a moment and glances towards the slightly open window in the office. "When we stopped coming here, I felt like all of those dreams I had as a little girl stayed here with that person I was then."

"And you're different?" Miss Pillsbury inquires curiously to which Santana nods in response. "How so?"

"I don't know what it is exactly, or how to even explain it." Santana sighs and places her nail file back into her purse. "For more than half of my life I thought everything was perfect. My family anyway. And when that wasn't fact anymore I don't know." She shakes her head and looks down to inspect her nails. "These people I thought I knew and loved were strangers to me. Imagine being twelve years old and having everything you've ever known just fall apart in the blink of an eye. I'm not the girl I was... I don't think I know her anymore."

"Since you've been in Knox for a while, do you feel any different?" The social worker questions in a very professional way, but it doesn't stop Santana from giving an immediate response as it used to when they first started.

"I do... I just... I can't explain that either." Santana stammers, unable to put into words the way she has been feeling inside ever since she strolled into this town.

"You said you were friends with Brittany Pierce and Quinn Fabray... now?"

"It's different for them. Nothing changed except maybe their summers." Santana shifts in her chair and looks at Miss Pillsbury. "Well, except Quinn had a baby and Brittany stopped talking to her." She adds as an afterthought.

"I saw them the other day talking." Miss Pillsbury points out and Santana nods at this.

"They talk now." She says. "But, that's just cause of me." She clarifies the reason for the two friends' recent reunion.

"So, maybe you not coming here affected more than you think." Miss Pillsbury tells her and Santana sighs out in a huff at this curious statement.

---

It's the night of state championship game. The night where a lot of people from Texas believe heroes are born and the night that changes lives. The horn is blaring signaling the end of the game and the announcer is shouting the winner over the loud speaker. The crowd is roaring away, hooting and hollering at the final score on the board and at the amazing players on and off the field. People are rushing the field and jumping onto players, knocking into the officials and cheerleaders in the excitement of it all.

As Santana stands there, she watches Knox fans; students, parents, teachers, cheerleaders and players hang their heads in defeat. Sure, she figures, it must suck to lose something so big. These players have probably dreamed of winning the State Championships as seniors when they were tots and their daddy's handed them their first pigskin.

Even the girls on the cheerleading squad. Most of their mothers were probably cheering on the men of this town once upon a time. Each little girl, groomed to be a Pantherette and party with their State Champ boyfriends.

But, through the sea of hung heads and the mist of quiet failure pouring from the Knox City stands, Santana notices the other side of the coin. The other team is celebrating their victory. Cheers and shouts echo around the dome and she sees the fans and families and cheerleaders sharing the joy of the players.

Seeing this makes her wonder how that part must feel. Wanting something so bad, tasting it in dreams and then actually getting it. It's got to feel pretty amazing. In a way, she's sort of jealous. Knox City High School came here for something but are leaving empty handed. The other team came here and is taking home pride a victory and a state title. She came here with nothing...

And then her eyes fall to Brittany. She's got her bag already tossed over her shoulder. She appears tired and over this entire night, but she still manages to look breathtaking. Her hands are shoved into the pockets of her cheerleading jacket and her blonde pony sways behind her with every step she takes. Santana realizes, she's never noticed how blue Brittany's eyes are. Like the Texas sky on a clear day; beautiful and seemingly endless.

There's this maturity to them that isn't always there. Those eyes have things to say; only Santana isn't sure she's ready to hear them speak. She looks away before those blue eyes can fully connect to hers and the need to flee takes her over. When that feeling comes on, she doesn't question it, she simply lets her body lead the way.

With the Knox City students, parents and fans spilling out of the stadium and into their trucks and cars, Brittany waves her teammates a farewell and spins around to head to her truck. She tucks her hand into her bag to get her keys, but needs to glance down to search for them when her hand can't find them. Once she gets them in her grasp, she lifts her head up and stops walking when a truck passes by in front of her.

When it's gone she spots her truck and smiles. She's not smiling just because of her truck. No. She's smiling because of the girl standing there beside her powder blue truck, waiting for her. Santana glances up when she hears footsteps close to her, relieved yet nervous to see the girl she had been waiting for.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" Santana asks. Brittany tugs on the string of her bag and bites on her bottom lip, trying to contain her smile.

"Alright." She nods and hands Santana the keys to her truck. "Take me somewhere."

They don't say much on the ride, but mostly enjoy the comfortable silence they, every now and again, let fall over them. Brittany curiously, but patiently, waits quietly in the passenger seat to see where it is that Santana is taking her. When they pass by their houses, Brittany feels a sense of nostalgia of those times when they were younger and their dads or Roger would take them to the next town.

Sure enough, her memory proves right, and Santana pulls into a small boutique just fifteen minutes out past their houses on the South Service Road. She remembers Miss Linda and Roger taking them to this specific place every couple of weeks during Santana's visit. Her parents were okay with it because Brittany's mother liked the scented candles they had there and sometimes she got cheaper baking tins at the boutique.

"I haven't been here in a while." Santana points out when she tosses Brittany's car in park and smiles. "I thought it'd be fun to look around and see if they still have those 'buy five pieces of crap for fifty cents'." They both giggle as they hop on out of the truck.

Its dark out, but the lights in the empty parking lot are bright. They both point out the weird hours on the door, just like Linda and Roger used to do when they would go at random times at night quite like this one. For some reason or another the owners of this store stayed open until 12:43am. No one ever really knew why, but it was amusing enough to actually see if they closed exactly at that time.

They make their way towards the toy aisle, just as they used to when they were little girls. They grab at a few toy guns and test them out, either declaring them good for cheap or a piece of crap. After the toys, they move to picture frames that they always used to suggest a perfect picture for. Eventually, they separate and wind up walking an aisle apart, but it works out seeing as the aisles are not separated by high shelves. Just stacks of cheap stuff and cheap crap.

"Smell this." Brittany tells her as she holds out a candle. Santana eyes up the candle, unsure of what she is about take a whiff of.

Santana is greeted by a scent that sends her mind into a scramble. She knows this smell. It evokes memories from her childhood, to which she cannot pinpoint precisely. So, she sniffs it again. She closes her eyes this time while she rummages through the cabinets and boxes that have been stored away in the brain of her youth.

It smells of flowers, like the ones that grow out beside the side of the road where the tire swing hands. But, it also has a hint of fruit, close to the smell of apple cherry pie her aunt used to make when they visited. It smells like summer and she smiles because it's so sweet but, not too sweet. It smells perfect. When she opens her eyes, she realizes that it also smells like something else.

It smells like Brittany.

"Can I ask you a question?" Brittany asks. When Santana looks up she realizes that Brittany is a few feet away from her and looking at a rack of different scented candles. Santana contemplates the idea of being asked a question. But before she can think it through enough, her mouth is already answering for her.

"Sure." She rolls her eyes at herself and pretends to find a stack of old western hats interesting.

"Why are you avoiding me?" She wonders from across a stack of cowboy shirts. Her voice is low, but certain.

"I am not." Santana scoffs and takes a step further down the aisle, but Brittany just follows her down the other aisle and studies her. "We're hangin' out, aren't we?" Brittany nods, but seems preoccupied with the direction of her questioning.

"Then," Brittany drawls out. "How come you haven't said anything about the other night?" She wonders with a tilt of her head. Santana knows what she is talking about, but she plays aloof and shrugs her shoulders. "When I kissed you." She explains further what she meant and Santana fumbles with a cow milk pitcher and tosses her a look.

"I guess I just assumed it was an accident." Santana replies and clears her throat as she places the cow milk pitcher back where she found it. Last thing she wants is to draw any attention to this conversation. "It was the heat of the moment or whatever." She tries to turn her focus onto something else. But it's of no use as Brittany just follows her every move, even if she is in the other aisle. Santana's shoulders slump when Brittany's hands grab onto the shelf that separates them and leans towards her.

"I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you." Brittany tells her. "I've been wanting to kiss you." She adds with even more sureness.

Without warning, Santana turns on her heels and makes her way towards the door leaving Brittany by herself in the next aisle. She isn't sure what is going on, but she knows that it's getting a bit too serious for her liking. Or at least for her comfort. When she steps outside into the late December Texas night time air, she shakes her head. The kiss that was or almost was but more importantly should not have been feels like a distant dream of a memory. There are some parts of her brain that cannot even comprehend that it had happen, yet she knows that it did because she was there. She stood completely still and let it happen. She closed her eyes and felt those soft lips on her own and it…

"Santana." Brittany calls her name, interrupting her thoughts and she huffs as she turns around to look at her.

"Why are you doing this?" Santana asks in frustration, but she makes sure to control her tone and volume. Brittany steps closer to her and tilts her head to the side innocently.

"Because," She starts slowly and dips her head, locking eyes with Santana. "I like you." Santana scoffs and kicks at some rocks. "Why are you?" Brittany challenges and receives a surprised looks in return.

"Why am I what?" Santana spits back, obviously confused.

"Acting like, me liking you is silly." Brittany explains. This only causes Santana to chuckle and turn back towards the parking lot and walk to the truck. Brittany follows in silence and waits patiently for a response as she turns the key in the ignition. When she doesn't get anything, she backs out of the spot and pulls out of the parking lot and back onto the highway.

"I… I'm not…" Santana finally breaks their silence, obviously responding to the last thing Brittany had said to her. Her voice is low, almost a whisper, and she shakes her head. "This isn't something you just wake up and decide on." She explains.

"I know." Brittany replies as she turns off onto the South Service Road. "And I didn't."

She's known Brittany since they were single digits kids running around through the sprinklers in their one piece bathing suits. They played hide and seek, made mud pies and caught lightening bugs together. Once, Brittany even performed a marriage for Santana and one of her Ken dolls she'd strangely named Gerard. Sure, they had history. But it was based on friendship.

It's not that Brittany isn't Santana's type. She's totally Santana's type; type being an attractive girl. But, there are so many other factors in this situation that totally takes away any truth to Quinn's ideas and assumptions. Besides, Santana is a right fuck up. If anything, she is the opposite of anything and everything Brittany would ever want or need for that matter.

"So," Brittany starts up conversation again as she pulls her truck into the Lopez driveway. "We've got our Knox City New Year's bash comin' up soon." She informs the girl beside her who is busy trying to gather her stuff before this turns into a different kind of conversation.

"Oh?" Santana replies politely.

"Yeah, and, well it was supposed to be tied into celebrating winning of state." She shrugs but still beams over at Santana who finally acknowledges her with a smirk and a short laugh.

"You Texas people and your football." Santana comments with amusement.

"Laugh all you want." Brittany shakes her head and rolls her eyes at herself for assuming Santana was done with all these stereotypical Texas jokes. "You should come." She suggests and Santana's laughter slowly subsides. "You should come to the party, with me."

---

Forgoing the Knox City 'New Year's slash the boy's almost won state' party, leaves Santana to her own devices. Aunt Linda had tried to talk Santana into going, but the young girl just wasn't going to budge. So instead, Santana is Aunt Linda's designated driver who has to pick her up and some ungodly hour of the evening.

So, instead of a nice home cooked meal, Santana has to figure out on her own what to feed herself. She had thought about stopping by Carmel's, but literally everyone and their mother is at this gathering, leaving mostly all of the shops closed for the celebration. As she turns her aunt's truck onto Main, she realizes that it makes sense why all the stores would be closed. The streets are practically filled with the folk of Knox City with sparklers, flags, hats, whistles and every other annoying thing that people play with at New Year's parties.

Santana pulls over to let her aunt out to travel the rest of the way with the other people from town. Aunt Linda leans over towards her niece, kisses her temple and hugs her tightly. She holds her a few seconds longer than she has in a while, but Santana lets her and even hugs her back.

"Happy New Year, Santana." Aunt Linda tells her and rubs out the smudge of lipstick she had left on her cheek. "You sure you don't want to come with me? It'll be fun." She tries once again to talk the younger girl into joining her, but it is of no use as she gets a quick shake of the head.

"Nah." Santana smiles politely but waves off the idea. "I'm good. But, you have a fun time." She nudges Aunt Linda towards the passenger side door.

"Okay, okay." Aunt Linda chuckles and finally slips out of the truck. "Oh look, hey Quinn." She waves over the blonde girl who smiles and comes over to the truck.

"Hey Miss Linda." Quinn greets and sends Santana a wave.

"Well, maybe you can talk Santana into being a Knox City citizen for the night." Aunt Linda bumps her shoulder into Quinn's and turns away. "I'm off to enjoy my night off of Santana watching."

The two teenagers chuckle at Aunt Linda easily falling in with a crowd of people that look familiar to Santana, so she feels at ease knowing her aunt will enjoy herself. Santana lets out a sigh just as Quinn looks back at her, only she isn't looking at Quinn.

"What's wrong?" Quinn asks.

"Nothing." Santana tells her as she looks across the street longingly. Quinn follows her line of vision and twists her lips when her eyes fall onto Brittany who is with a group of cheerleaders. Unsure of how to broach the subject she's come to realize sooner than others as the case may be, she decides to just go into it. Again.

"You think she knows yet?" Quinn chances and arches an eyebrow at Santana.

"What's that?" Santana replies, completely unaware of what Quinn is aiming at.

"That you like her back?" She explains with ease and leans her arms on the passenger side door where the window is open.

"What?" Santana scoffs and tries to wave her friend's crazy ideas away from her with her hand.

"Please." Quinn laughs out. "It's painfully obvious." Santana looks down at her cell phone that she is fiddling with in her hands, but doesn't respond to her friend. "So, she just kissed you for no reason."

"She's confused." Santana quickly jumps in and her eyes dart to Quinn's that are slightly shadowed from the night time taking over Main Street.

"Maybe about everything else, but not about you." Quinn points out. "I think you're the only sure thing in her life, same goes for you with her." She explains further and gives a quick glance over her shoulder to where Brittany once was but no longer is. "It's not too late to join the party. Kurt and I are gonna go back to my place after the ball drops and watch really bad 90's movies." She gives it one last go at trying to get Santana to stay and party with the rest of Knox City. "So, no New Year's kiss for Santana Lopez this year?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow and Santana just gives her a face that reads 'I'm not amused'.

"What about you? I've seen you checking out that kid on the football team." Santana comments smugly and she enjoys the blush that creeps on Quinn's cheeks. "Sam or something, right?"

"Are you comin' or not?" Quinn asks point blank, completely ignoring her friend's attempt to embarrass her, even if it did work.

But just as she thought, Santana declines the offer and after a quick goodbye and a Happy New Year. Quinn watches Santana drive back down the way she came in the dark and all alone.

On the other side of the town Mayor Pierce is busy doing paper work while bossing her assistant around to do her personal work. The rest of the office is out for the town event, but as usual, Annie Pierce stays where she feels the most power.

"Shouldn't we be at that party?" Terri whines as she peers through the blinds on the window watching some town's people walk by. "Wouldn't that be a great place for a stakeout?"

"It's not a stakeout Terri." Annie Pierce huffs as she ruffles through some papers. "And for God sakes can you just sit down."

"I'm good with recon, really." Terri assures her boss as she takes a seat across from her. "I'm great at stealth. How else do you think I found out my ex-husband was having an emotional affair?" Annie Pierce looks over her papers to regard the other woman for a moment. "And not that I don't appreciate the 'politician wife look', but, this was not in the job description when I signed up."

"In that case, I can release you and you can go right back to being the shop keep at Sheets n' Things."

"I was Assistant Manager." Terrie reminds her boss in frustration. "Why does nobody remember this? It's a highly skilled job."

"Probably because you were only the Assistant Manager of a Sheets n' things in the middle of Texas." Mrs. Pierce points out, unimpressed at her assistants resume.

"Well, at least this is a good gig." Terri muses. "Even if all I do is stalk your own daughter for you." She sighs and glances around her boss's office. "Why am I even watching her?"

Mrs. Pierce doesn't have to explain herself. She never does. This time is no different. Annie Pierce has always made it clear to anyone in town, especially those who are her subordinates that nothing gets in the way of her family being happy. In this case, it winds up being the delinquent who moved in next door. She's not about to let a seventeen year old, lesbian, criminal corrupt her daughter and change the dream she's dreamed for Brittany's future.

---

The next day Santana spends her time going through the pamphlets that Miss Pillsbury has been giving to her. There are a lot of choices for her as it may be. There are places in Boston she can check out. There are even some universities in New York and Connecticut. It's actually kind of awesome to know that her social worker has such high hopes for her and that she apparently can get into places like these. As she flips through some more, she stumbles upon the pamphlet for the University of Texas.

She wonders if Brittany will actually follow through with what the Mayor of Knox wants or what she actually wants. She wonders if Brittany has considered schools near Boston. Then she wonders if Brittany has considered schools further away from Boston. And then, she wonders if Brittany is upset that she didn't show up to the party last night. She didn't even watch the ball drop on television.

Are there really any comparisons to watching the New Year's ball drop?

But, Brittany should have known that when Santana said 'maybe' she really meant 'probably not'. Aunt Linda knew that already. However, it doesn't make that weird pull in her gut go away. She tosses her college pamphlets to her bed and pushes herself up from it. Before she knows it, she's already climbing over the fence separating the Lopez yard and the Pierce yard. The climb into Brittany's window is definitely made easier by it being open. When she stumbles into the room, having to push the drapes away, she spots Brittany sitting on her bed. It's quiet, except for the sound of the television.

"Happy New Year." Santana greets in a tiny voice. Brittany regards her with a flick of her eyes, but quickly turns her attention back to the TV.

"Happy New Year." She replies with a forced half smile. Santana deflates and bites down on her bottom lip as she figures out what to say next.

"What are you doin'?" Santana asks as she awkwardly steps further into Brittany's bedroom. It's fairly obvious what she has been doing, or at least trying to do if the flickering of the television is anything to go by.

"Watchin' a movie." Brittany tells her plainly as she puts the television on mute and moves to the side of her bed to watch Santana instead. Santana nods, gives the screen a glance and shrugs.

"What's this?" She points towards the movie playing out realizing she doesn't recognize it.

"Little Women." Brittany answers, sounding somewhat disappointed, as she tosses the remote to the top of her bed.

"Oh, I think I've seen that once or twice." Santana recalls having to watch the movie once in school after reading the book and then another time it happened to be on when she was cleaning up a mess her mother had made one night after drinking too much.

"I've seen it a million times." Brittany relays, but her tone is still somber. "I don't really know why, its super depressing."

"There's gotta be something you like about it if you've watched it that many times." Santana points out.

"I never liked it. I think I keep rewatchin' it because I want it to end differently." Santana laughs because it's hardly plausible to have a different ending to a story that has been around for forever. "No, seriously. I mean, the entire time I'm just waitin' for Jo and Laurie to finally get together. But he always settles for Amy." She shakes her head and points to the screen where the character Amy is smiling away. "He settles for Amy because he can't have Jo. He loves Jo though. Even with her flaws, and mostly because she's passionate, which, I guess is her flaw." Santana smirks with intrigue at how in depth Brittany has thought about this particular story. "And isn't that what love is all about anyway? That he doesn't love her in spite of those things but he loves her because of them." Brittany looks to Santana who has no response except for a curious stare. "I think he does. And wouldn't that be the greatest? To find someone who loves you exactly as you are. I guess I don't like it because of that. That Laurie settles for a half assed version of Jo because she's too afraid that she might love him back just as fiercely."

"Can I show you something?" Santana asks, realizing that maybe there is something a little better than watching the New Year's ball drop. Brittany stares at her, her interest peaked at the fact that Santana wants to show her something.

"Okay." She moves from her bed and follows the other girl out the way she entered, through her window.

They hop the fence to get back on the Lopez side and Santana leads her towards the shed in her aunt's backyard. Brittany smirks when she takes notice of the tiny ladder propped up against the side of the shed's roof, sort of like when they were kids. Santana grips the side of the ladder and motions with her hand for her to climb on up. She does as requested and it's as if she is transporting back to her younger years when they climbed up and jumped from this tiny metal shed all day long.

When Santana finally makes her way onto the roof, she shuffles herself towards the middle beside Brittany who has already taken her usual seat. They smile at one another and Brittany waits expectantly for what it is Santana brought her up there to show her. She looks down when Santana points towards a spot on the shed and she laughs.

"Wow." Brittany breathes out and reaches down to rub her fingers over the etched out markings of their names on the shed. "How old were we?" She asks taking note of how sloppy their hand writing was back then.

"Like, six." Santana chuckles and runs her own fingertips over her and Brittany's name.

"I completely forgot about this." Brittany admits and Santana smiles to herself, wondering if it were even possible for her to remember something that Brittany didn't. Her brain began racing, thinking up other things that she may recall more easily.

"I found it when I first got here." Santana tells her. "When we weren't swingin' on that tire in front, I remember sitting here a lot." She reminds with an air of contentment in her tone. "I don't think I've ever seen a Boston sunset." She mutters more to herself. "Even if I did, I don't think it could compare." She points ahead of them towards the Texas sky. "Sunsets remind me of you." Brittany smiles as she looks off at the multicolored canvas before them.

They sit on the roof of the shed and the metal is cold beneath them as they stare off into the sky that seems endless behind their houses. The sun is slowly falling, looking as though it is about to kiss the earth good day to leave the moon in its wake.

Santana looks out of the corner of her eye and grins at the way Brittany watches the setting sun. She wonders when it was that they grew up. When the moment happened that they no longer were those little girls with dirt on their hands and a tire swinging them about. She also wonders if Brittany is right about her and that she is still that little girl, somewhere deep down.

Her eyes fall down to the space between them. Their hands are resting against the metal roof as they lean in their sitting position. She turns her attention back to the sky as the sun reaches and grazes its destination, leaving the sky a blazing red, pink and orange color. It's pretty, of course. But, she thinks, she prefers the daylight with the sun high up in the sky.

Santana's fingers inch across the roof until they brush Brittany's. She can see Brittany turn to her as their fingers touch and she smiles, all the while staring at the red, pink and orange sunset sky. She likes the day because she's decided blue her favorite color out of them all. Yes, blue. It's calming and lovely and bright.

Also, it's the color of Brittany's eyes.

Santana unexpectantly jumps off of the shed and extends her hand to Brittany, a request known to all as one of two things; 'follow me' or 'may I have this dance'. In the case of the two friends, it means both and are equally aware of this. Brittany carefully moves from her spot on the roof to the edge and hops down to meet Santana. They smile at one another as Brittany places her hand into Santana's. There is no actual music, at least none that is playing out from any speakers. But, there is music playing in their hearts and it is loud enough for both of them to hear.

Santana smiles sweetly as she places Brittany's hand on her hip and then her own on Brittany's shoulder. They sway from side to side in Aunt Linda's backyard behind the shed, holding one another close. A look of content crosses over Brittany's features as she finally lets out the air she had been holding hostage. She jokingly bends her knees to make herself Santana's height and the two giggle when she nearly stumbles backwards. When she's at her regular height, she takes stock in the beauty before her.

"I don't know if I..." Santana clears her throat and smirks at herself. "You've been so great to me since I got here and I've been nothing short of a bitch. I don't know if I'm the person you need me to be." She admits with concern in her eyes. Brittany's stare softens and she tilts her head to the side trying to find the emotion behind those dark eyes. "But," Santana continues with a nod of encouragement to herself. "I want to be." She watches the way Brittany's confused and worried eyes and lips turn into a smile and her eyes light up.

"You already are." Brittany assures her, pulling their clasped hands close against her chest. "You're still the girl who loves the smell of summer rain." She explains and Santana breathes out a chuckle. "You're the girl who watches me dance and thinks I don't know it." She grins and Santana can feel the heat rise to her cheeks. "You'll always be that girl to me no matter how much you think you're not."

"Can I tell you something I've never told anyone?" Santana asks her voice low and husky with her chin lowered, close to her chest.

"Of course." Brittany nods, slight worry mixed with curiosity in her eyes.

"When we were twelve, I made a promise to you that I'd kiss you the next summer I saw you. Ya know, if you hadn't been kissed yet." She starts and she can't figure out why this feels so awkward and she's nervous and embarrassed, but she pushes through it. After getting a tight lipped grin from Brittany, she figures they are on the same page so far and takes a shaky breath to encourage herself to continue. Santana sucks in her lips and her eyes flicker down to her hands, not paying much attention to the way her fingers twist and fidget against the fabric of Brittany's shirt. "I meant it when I made that promise to you. But…" She giggles and if it wasn't so quiet, it would have gone unheard. She flips her hair as she lifts her eyes to meet those waiting blues and offers a small smile. "You know, I spent all of the seventh grade avoiding spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven on the off chance that I'd be socially forced to kiss some brace faced boy." Brittany giggles and Santana can't fight the small chuckle that rolls from her throat as she blinks away tears that have begun to form for reasons she's not aware of. "I had hoped that, by the next summer when I saw you again," She continues with a soft voice. "That even if you had been kissed, that you'd still want the one I promised you." The corner of Santana's mouth turns up, but she fights it, afraid any submission to emotion would cause her to tumble into an unknown. "I think I was more pissed at my parents for making me miss my big chance to kiss you than I was about them getting divorced." Brittany bites on the insides on her lips and her chin quivers as she watches these walls around Santana slowly come down and that it is Santana who is the one taking them down. "I meant it when I said I could never forget you. It's just not possible." She swallows this lump that's seemed to form in her throat and she opens her mouth to keep talking, but all that comes out is a sigh of a breath. Clamping her mouth shut to regain her footing, she clears her throat and tilts her head and smiles through the pain that this honesty causes her. "See, when I was thirteen I was all ready. I had this movie scene I'd played out in my mind. I was sure I was set." Again, she shrugs her shoulders. It's all she can manage to do to keep herself from doing what she does best; run away. "I think the thing I wasn't at all prepared for was for you to kiss me first." For a moment, she looks away again and shakes her head, but is quick to bring her focus back on Brittany. "Especially not after all these years between us. The truth is, that night in the garage… it should have been the first kiss I promised you. I ran away and… I don't really know why. I don't have an answer for that. But I…" Santana stops speaking when Brittany presses her index finger to her lips to quiet her.

"If I kiss you," Brittany whispers and her eyes flit from Santana's and then to her parted lips. "Will you kiss me back?" Santana gulps and is halfway between nodding and shaking her head.

"Brittany," Santana nearly chokes out. "It's different now." She's committed to the head shake, but she stands her ground, not pulling away from Brittany. "We're not twelve year olds making pinky promises." Brittany raises her finger to Santana's lips once again, silencing her.

Santana can't exactly read Brittany's facial expression right now, so she remains quiet. When the finger leaves her lips, she swallows hard and her eyes search the blue ones staring right back at her. Slowly, their heads lean closer, tilt and their tongues moisten their lips.

"Brittany!" Mrs. Pierce calls out, inevitably stopping them just before their lips can meet. Their breathe hitches and mixes and quickens in the moment.

Brittany's eyes fall down to the space between them that barely exists and she sighs. Santana watches the war going on inside her friend's head. As much as both of them want to ignore the cry from Brittany's mother and get back to where they were headed, they don't want the moment to be wasted, even if they don't exactly say those words.

"I guess…" Santana says, breaking the silence and shrugs her shoulders. Brittany clears her throat and nods her head as she takes a step back. Her eyes fall to glance at her hands that are entwined with Santana's and she smiles.

Santana watches her walk away with a small smile of wonderment. She takes a breath and for a second wonders if she had been holding it for a while. It felt fresh and amazing to breathe this air. Her mouth closes and she swallows, her tongue and lips are dry. She feels funny and her chest feels tight. Before Brittany turns towards her house as she reaches the end of the bushes that separate their house after the fence, she looks over her shoulder back at Santana.

"Crap." Santana mutters to herself.