Put your hands in the water
watch them go under
Put your hand to the light
watch the light come through
And I will let you go
Put your time on the table
See who'll sit down with you
Give your love to the ones who offer you bruise
After bruise, after bruise
And I will let you go
Daniel Ahearn - I Will Let You Go
They rented a UHaul van to pack up Ray's things. When he'd moved into Darcy's apartment, he'd downsized quite a bit so they didn't have to worry about a bed or dressers, which made moving him a lot easier. Still, there were a lot of boxes and random things that needed to be thrown into the van, and they had to unpack it twice before everything fit.
The next morning, they woke up early to pack up Darcy's car with their last minute things and anything of value before hitting the road for the 5 hour drive.
Though she'd taken her car to DC, Darc hadn't really driven it all that much within the confines of the District. Driving in NYC was so much worse, especially during the Wednesday lunch hour.
"I can't fucking move, asshole!" she screamed as the car behind her laid on the horn. "What do you want me to do?!" Frustrated, she slammed her hand on the wheel before reaching to turn up the volume on the stereo to drown out the noise as traffic inched forward.
Which was, you know, probably the reason she didn't hear the cop siren until it was right behind her. Quickly, she pulled over as far as she could to let it pass and frowned in its wake; just after she'd pulled back onto the road, she was forced to pull off again as a group of police cruisers blew past. "Please don't be anything major," she whispered to herself while turning down her music and grabbing her phone. Yeah, texting and driving was illegal in New York but it wasn't like they were moving anyways.
'Please tell me you aren't involved in anything that would call out the police' she typed before hitting send.
It was 20 minutes (during which she had actually moved about 3 miles, yay!) before she got a response. 'Not me, mybe S. Not in country RN. Be carful'
Darcy looked at the misspelled words and felt a bit guilty about distracting him. James usually made sure that his texts were error free, and if he was misspelling and using shortcuts, he was clearly busy. 'Ok, let me know when you're okay' she shot back.
She was just about to send a text to Steve when the line of cars began to move, so she tossed the phone into the cup holder and drove off.
OOO
"It's...nice," Darcy said as she walked into Ray's apartment. He'd found this one on another outing to the city, one where she wasn't able to go with him because of other commitments. The studio was tiny, and she wondered if they would be able to fit everything in here, let alone the air mattress they'd be using until he got a bed.
"I like it," Ray grinned. "First place on my own!"
"Yay!" she said, infusing her voice with fake enthusiasm. "Rockin' bachelor pad, dude!" Chuckling, Ray pulled her to his side and kissed the top of her head.
"It's cheap, it's got four walls and a roof...what else would I need?"
"A security system?"
"Ha ha. Come on, let's start getting everything up here - I've got the grad student meeting in a few hours."
OOO
"Hey, how does Ethiopian sound for dinner?" Darcy asked, looking up from where she was sitting cross-legged on the air matt as the door opened. While Ray had gone to the grad student meeting over five hours ago, she'd stayed behind in the apartment to do some more unpacking. He had an awe struck look on his face, so she hoped that the meet and greet had gone well.
"Have we ever had Ethiopian?" Ray asked, dropping his keys onto the kitchen counter and shifting uncomfortably.
"I don't think so," she shrugged while scrolling on her phone. "Looks like this one has good reviews. Plus, new city, new food - why not?"
"I guess," he said. "Is that the kind you have to eat with your hands?"
"You can use a fork if you want," Darcy chuckled. Her scrolling was interrupted when a CNN alert appeared on the top of the screen, notifying her of an explosion on the Belarus-Ukraine border. "Hey, give me your iPad."
"What's up?"
"There was an explosion in eastern Europe. I want to check out what's going on." Ray sat next to her and handed over the tablet, looking over her shoulder as she pulled up news reports from around the globe.
"What're you thinking?" he asked, bumping her shoulder.
"I've just got a bad feeling about this...James said he wasn't in the country…" Ray dropped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle shake.
"Even if he is there, he's the Winter Soldier - he can take care of himself."
"Yeah...doesn't stop me from worrying about him."
"Yeah…" Ray said, clearing his throat. "He's, uh, you're soul mate. It's normal, right?" Darce looked over at him and frowned.
"Are you okay? You look a little green around the gills."
"I uh…"
"Nervous about school?"
"Yeah," he said quickly, nodding enthusiastically. "Yeah, nervous about school." Darce flashed him a smile before leaning to peck his cheek.
"You're gonna be fine, babe."
"I hope so."
"I know so. Ethiopian?"
"Sure, why not?"
OOO
They laughed over dinner as they tried the various forms of wat they'd ordered, attempting to scoop it with the injera bread and making quite a mess of it. But it was fun, and for a little while they forgot that Darcy would be leaving on Saturday to get back home before her semester started.
It was nearing two in the morning when they blew up the air mattress and kicked a space in the center of the room clear of boxes and packing paper. Ray tossed some sheets and a blanket on the makeshift bed while Darce went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth; when she came out, he was watching her with an odd look on his face.
"What? Do I have toothpaste on my face?" she asked, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth.
A sad sort of smile tipped the corner of his mouth up as he shook his head. "No but...can we talk?"
"Yeah," she replied, quickly moving to the bed and sitting next to him. "What's up?"
"I, uh…I met her."
"Who?"
Darcy's heart stopped as Ray moved to tug down the neck of his t-shirt, revealing his soulmark, "Her."
"Oh."
"Yeah…"
She looked at the words on his collarbone - 'You're new, right?' - and wishes, not for the first time, that they were hers. "Wha...what's her name?"
"Rula. She's Palestinian."
"Oh."
"She's in her second year of the joint LLM and PhD program."
"Wow."
"Yeah…We went for coffee after Orientation and she told me about her family...I guess her grandparents come here as refugees in 1967."
"She, uh," Darcy swallowed around the lump in her throat. "She sounds pretty interesting."
"She is," Ray smiled before catching himself.
"What are her words?"
"They're 'please tell me this is the right room for orientation'."
Darcy lowered her head as she chuckled, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. She'd known that this day would come, but it didn't make this hurt any less. But she had to ask, "What does this mean for us?"
"I-I don't know, Darce," Ray said, looking down and scratching the back of his neck. "I...This...I don't know. This is...it's complicated."
"I know."
"I'm not like you - I don't hate the idea of soulmates. I've wanted to be with Rula since...since my words first showed up. But you - I love you too."
She stayed quiet, looking down as she fiddled with her necklace. Darce tried not to be hurt by he 'too' he'd added - she was secondary when, just this morning, she'd been first.
It was on the tip of her tongue to say that Rula was just a stranger, that there was no guarantee that they'd be happy together, she might break his heart - a million things that might get him to forget about his soulmate or that could push him away for good.
"Does she know? About us? About me?"
"No, I...uh...didn't tell her about you."
"Didn't have the time over coffee?" she snapped before she could stop herself. "No time to say 'Yeah, I've been dating this girl for a few years and we've been making plans'?"
"Darce - "
"No, sorry," she said, ducking her head so that her hair fell in her face. "This is all just…"
"Complicated?" he supplied before reaching over and tipping her chin up. He frowned at the tears that were welling in her eyes, and scooted forward to pull her into his arms. "I'm sorry, Darcy. I really am." There was a tense silence between them as she kept her arms at her side, trying not to lean into him, hearing the unspoken 'But we knew that this would happen eventually'. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and said quietly, "I love you."
"Don't say that," she whispered.
"No, cause no matter what happens, I love you, Darcy Ann Lewis."
OOO
It had been awkward trying to fall asleep, and they had tossed and turned on opposite sides of the air mat for hours until Ray's breathing evened out and he started to snore softly.
Next to him, Darcy lay awake, her mind whirling. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could see Ray's face as he told her about his soulmate, how there was a bit of a bemused smile on his lips when he thought she wasn't looking…
Taking care to not jostle him, Darcy slid off the bed, thankful that they'd filled it enough that her moving didn't make it sag. She slipped on her shoes and retrieved her phone from the charger before slipping out of the apartment and into the hallway, careful to turn the lock before closing the door.
Pressing a hand to her eyes, she slid down the wall until she was squatting just above the dirty floor. A tear slipped out and traced its way down her cheek before landing, hot and salty, on her lower lip, and a few more rogues fell. Taking a deep breath, she wiped at her face unlocked her phone, pulling up her contact list. Her thumb hovered over 'Mom' for a minute before she decided against it - calling at this time would only freak her out, and Darce wasn't quite sure she was ready to hear her mom's sad voice. There was a good chance Lindsey would be awake at this time with the new baby, but it was too chancy - the last thing she wanted to do was wake up her best friend when she was so exhausted.
Besides, neither of them could help her out at that moment. All Darcy wanted to do was go home and crawl into her own bed; the thought of going back into the studio apartment and laying beside Ray was too much. She eyed the floor, seriously considering staying out here for the next few hours before deciding against it. She wondered if the car would be any better before ruling that out as well - probably not the best idea ever. She could start driving back to Virginia, but she could feel a headache coming on and driving while crying probably wasn't the best.
Her bank account wasn't in any place to take a hit for a hotel and… Darcy felt a jolt as her phone vibrated in her hand, alerting her to a text from James.
'Sorry it's late, but headed back. Any chance of meeting up before you leave?'
Darcy chuckled sadly at the timing before replying. 'Probably not. Going to head back home in the morning.'
It was another minute before the phone vibrated again. 'Thought you were in town for til Saturday?'
'Plans changed' she typed.
'Everything alright?'
She hesitated, wondering what - if anything - she should say. The screen dimmed and, after another minute, the phone vibrated again.
'Darcy?'
Rather than answer, she set the phone on the ground and put her head in her hands. The night was too complicated to go into over text, and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to.
The phone vibrated, the screen lighting up to show that James had given up on texting and had decided to call.
"Thought you couldn't call on planes. Assuming you are on a plane," she said, hand still pressed to her eyes.
"What's wrong, doll?"
"Nothing."
"You're a terrible liar," James said, a hint of a laugh in his voice before he conjoled, "Come on Darce, let me try and fix it."
"This isn't something you can fix," she said.
When he spoke again, James' voice was serious, "What is it? Are the police involved? Are you hurt?"
Despite herself, Darcy laughed. "I'm your normal friend, remember? Not one of the Avengers. I've got normal people problems."
There was another pause before he chuckled. "Right. What's the normal people problems?"
Darcy bit her bottom lip and swiped at the corner of her eyes.
"Darcy…" he wheedled.
"Ray met her. Her name is Rula."
There was silence on the other end of the line before James cleared his throat. "I'll call Steve. He'll be there within the hour to come get you, and you can stay with us as long as you need to."
"What?" Darcy squeaked.
"It's too late for you to drive home, and there's no use in you spending money on a hotel. Unless you want to stay there with him? You're at his apartment, right?"
"I don't know what I want to do," she whispered, finally admitting to herself what was bothering her - she had no plan for this. She hadn't thought about what would happen when Ray finally met his soulmate - it was always an inevitability...his words were black on his collarbone, a stark contrast to his tanned skin.
"Right now, let's just figure out where you're gonna sleep," James said. "You wanna stay there with him and figure it out, or do you wanna get some space to clear your head?"
Darcy looked up and down the hall, then leaned forward to look at the door to the studio. Sitting out here all night didn't seem like a good idea, but the idea of crawling back into bed with Ray was a bit too overwhelming right now.
"Don't send Steve, I have my car."
"Ok, I'll let him know you're on your way. And Darce?"
"Yeah?"
"Keep your chin up, kid. I'll see you in a few hours."
Author's Note: What? An update?
I apologize for the time between updates...Writing has been put on the back burner given work, school, and personal commitments. But regardless, I never abandon a fic so, even though it may take a while, there will be updates until the story is done. While I said that there were only 2-3 chapters left, I'm not quite sure if that still stands - this chapter got pretty long before hitting where I thought it would stop.
So again, I'm sorry but thank you for hanging in there with me!