Would Always Hold Her Heart
October, 2010
A knock at the door pulls Linda's attention from the television. For a moment she hopes she is just hearing things because she has been waiting all day at work to see the next twisted plot of All My Children unfold. But when another knock comes she huffs and places her cup of decaffeinated coffee down on the table. She checks the clock as she makes her way to the door and wonders who could be bothering her at what everyone around here considers to be way too late for unannounced visitors.
There is a well-known form of respect for not disturbing families at home between the hours of five-thirty and seven, which is supper time. It's a basic understanding that families are sitting around their dinner table having their own special bonding time. And anything after eight is unacceptable. Of course for Linda Lopez, this time is scheduled for her to bond with Erica Kane and the Chandlers in Pine Valley. Her brow furrows when she recognizes sunny blonde hair on the other side of the screen door. It's Brittany. She knows this before she even opens the door and she wonders what this unexpected visit is for.
"Hey Britt." Linda greets with a small and confused smile. Brittany's head hangs as she replies in a soft voice. "What is it? Are you okay?" Linda instantly turns from welcoming neighbor to concerned adult and steps out to her porch to grab one of Brittany's shoulders gently and lifts her chin up with the other. Brittany is crying. Her cheeks are all red and her nose is a bit runny. "Honey, what's happened?" She asks and takes a quick glance around to find the culprit in making Brittany Pierce, a known ray of sunshine twenty-four seven, turn into a puddle of tears. Brittany mumbles something, but Linda finds it hard to understand the words through her blubbery whispering.
"I need someone to talk to." Brittany repeats when she doesn't get any sort of response from the older woman. Linda's face softens and she moves her hands come down to rub up and down the teenager's arms. "And I lost my key, but no one is home... and..." She starts to cry again and Linda pulls her into a hug. "I don't know."
Linda soothes her with gentle whispers and rubs circles to her back as she holds her tightly. She ushers them both inside and doesn't even give a look to her television set that is in the midst of a love quadrangle at the Pine Valley Inn. This real life moment is far more important than Erica Kane and her fiftieth husband.
"Sweetie," Linda starts once she closes the door and leads them down the hall. "Just tell me what happened and then I can help you." She explains. "Start from the beginning." It was the same thing her own mother would tell her whenever she got upset. But this only makes Brittany cry more. "Shh, it'll be okay. Whatever it is, it will all work out."
"It won't." She sobs and her face gets covered by her hands.
"It can't be that awful, honey." Linda assures her only it doesn't stop the tears. She twists her lips to try and remember what else it was that her mother would say to her, but she is coming up blank.
"It is and if my mother finds out about everythin'…" Brittany whimpers, sounding as if she is too scared to even finish that sentence.
Linda rubs circles on Brittany's back a few more times before she gets up from the couch and goes into the kitchen. One thing she does remember is her mother used to always get her a big glass of water whenever she was really upset. She didn't know the reason behind it or there even was a reason. But, she does recall being able to calm down a bit easier while holding a glass of water.
When she returns, Brittany is still sitting in the same position at the edge of the couch cushion with her head in her hands. She carefully takes the spot beside the girl, making sure not to disturb her, afraid that one wrong movement will catapult Brittany back into her heaving sobs. Aunt Linda grabs one of Brittany's hands from her cheek and sets the full glass of water into her hand.
"Thank you." Brittany sputters and instantly brings the glass to her lips.
Aunt Linda watches her sip and then take a gulp, patiently waiting for her to gather herself up enough to explain herself. Brittany takes a few deep breathes as she sets the bottom of the glass into her empty palm, gripping it hard at the side with the other.
"I'm failin' History." Brittany starts after a few more sips of water. "I'm failin' basically everything." She half laughs and looks over at Linda who offers a smile that shows she's listening. "Everyone just… expects things from me. My parents, mostly my mother, and guys from school and my coach." Brittany's chest stutters with some sobs she does her best to control. Linda's brow furrows and she leans in, resting a gentle hand at Brittany's back. "And this weekend I was at this party." She sniffles some more. "I'm always at a party." She explains in a sort of defeated tone.
"Brittany," Linda tilts her head as the girl's name softly falls from her lips. "Did somethin' happen at this party?" She asks with much concern. Brittany's lips purse, her eyes fall to the glass of water in her hands and she shrugs.
"Miss Linda," Brittany slowly says before lifting her gaze to meet the woman's eyes beside her. "What do you think is the most important thing to have? Like, in life." She wonders and Linda is a little taken back by the line of questioning. Linda looks around the room for a moment, the soap opera playing soundlessly across the screen a momentary distraction.
"Happiness I 'spose." Linda offers and Brittany's head hangs as she nods it in understanding. "If you don't have that, well, I'd think you can't have much of anythin' else." She reasons and gives Brittany a small smile of hope.
"Not even love?" Brittany worries. Linda thinks about this for a moment before giving an answer.
"Well, I believe that love can sometimes give us the happiness we've been searchin' for." Linda says and Brittany stares back at her, obviously waiting for more. "But, we have to be willin' to do what it takes to find it. Sometimes love is a mystery and sometimes it's as clear as day." Linda tells her. "Is this about a boy?" She asks wondering if this talk of love has something to do with a boy at school.
"My mother thinks that the most important thing for a girl like me is to focus on boys and cheerleadin'. I try… I try to make her happy and show her that I want to be her perfect little girl…" Brittany replies as she lifts the glass to her lips once again and takes a tiny sip. "I've been with a lot of the boys at school." She says in an almost whisper and it's without much shame, just disappointment. "But, I don't want to anymore." Linda's eyes widen a bit at this information. "Sometimes I wish I was a boy." Brittany pouts, holding her glass of water close to her. Linda laughs and playfully taps at the young girl's shoulder, she's somewhat appreciative for her unintentional comic relief. "They have it so much easier."
"Why wish to be a boy when being a girl is way more fun?" Linda wonders and receives a confused look from Brittany. "First of all, we are prettier than boys. Second, we get to dress up and ain't nothin' more fun than puttin' on a party dress and doin' your hair and gettin' your nails done." Brittany shrugs and looks down into her cup.
"I guess." Brittany mumbles. Linda lets out a small sigh, taps Brittany's leg and pushes herself up from the couch.
"I know what'll help make you feel better." Linda announces as she momentarily vanishes into the kitchen. Within seconds Linda comes back out carrying a tub of ice cream and two spoons. "Treats and a movie always make me feel at ease." This time Brittany smiles and it's one of those real smiles. It's not a big megawatt smile, but it's something.
"How old were you when you first had sex?" Brittany asks and Linda coughs the bite of ice cream she'd just taken. She covers her mouth with the back of her hand until she can speak with no food in her mouth.
"Oh." Linda is once again thrown off by Brittany's openness and she mumbles a few grunts to herself as her eyes search everywhere else. When her eyes finally do land back to Brittany, Linda realizes that the young girl beside her isn't anxiously waiting for a response. Those blue eyes are looking deeply into the tub of ice cream looking for her next spoonful. "Wh-what?"
"I mean, I don't really know what the big deal is." She admits innocently. "Grownups always say you've gotta be in love first. But, what if I don't find love until I'm old?" She wonders and Linda regards her with a gentle smile and a soft sigh. She remembers being young and lost in the world of being not being a kid anymore but not quite being an adult yet. "Whenever I ask my mother questions about sex she changes the subject and then my dad gets all red and uncomfortable." Brittany points out figuring that Linda might ask whether or not she's tried having these types of conversations with her parents. "I've done it already and it wasn't like they make it seem in the movies. I tried to explain it to Quinn but she just ignores me. Oh, and Quinn started this celibacy club at school. I don't really know what that means but all she keeps talkin' 'bout is absence and how it's the safest form of teen pregnancy prevention." She shrugs and Linda does her best not to chuckle.
"Well, Quinn does have the right idea." Linda finally jumps in. "Waitin' to have sex is important especially when you're young."
"How long did you wait for?" Brittany asks. Linda twists her lips and slightly clenches her jaw. "Is it bad that I didn't wait? Quinn thinks so."
It's a bit unnerving having a sex talk with someone else's child. But, she knows from what Brittany has just told her that no matter how much she tries to her parents will be of no use on the subject. So, with that in mind and a very impressionable young girl sitting in front of her, Linda decides to give her the information she would have wanted at this age.
"Sometimes, Brittany, people have sex for lots of different reasons." Linda says as she takes a seat beside Brittany on the couch. "Sometimes it's 'cause they feel alone and they want to feel close to someone. Sometimes they do it to get back at someone for somethin' which is not always a good idea. Sometimes they do it just to do it." Brittany stares back at her, absorbing all of the information being given to her. "As girls, we always imagine our first time to be amazing. Movies and television make us believe it's goin' to be this life changin' moment. But, it's not." Brittany slightly frowns and nods. "I mean, it can be those things but only with the right person." She clarifies which prompts a small smile of hope from Brittany.
Before Brittany can ask any more questions about sex or anything worse, if there even is a worse, Linda suggests they watch a movie and have a girl's night until Brittany's parents get home. She puts on her all-time favorite movie with the hope that perhaps it will help Brittany with some of her questions about love and sex and perhaps other things. She smiles to herself when Brittany gets sad at the parts she got sad at and the parts that she herself as a young girl awed at.
The ice cream tub sits on the coffee table with the two spoons, completely forgotten about. The movie had captured Brittany's attention, leaving her at the edge of her seat for what was to come next. Linda smiled softly to herself as the last scene came up, it was one of her favorite parts. At the ding of a bell, the screen goes to black followed by the credits.
"But..." Brittany sits up straight and holds the remote tightly in her hands. "What happened?" She asks.
"That's the end of the movie." Linda chuckles and tells her as she wipes some tears from her eyes.
"What kind of ending is that?" Brittany spits out.
"I said it was the end of the movie, but that doesn't mean it's the end of their story." Linda explains.
"But...?"
"Remember he said that once the bell rings that means everything is going to be okay?" Brittany nods but is still troubled. "Well, the bell rang so everything is okay."
"What does that even mean? Where's the happy ending? Where's the sunset and...?" Brittany rambles and it makes Aunt Linda laugh.
"The ending is the best part of the movie." Aunt Linda comments with amusement. "The plane ride is a metaphor for their relationship. They don't really know where they are going and they don't know what's going to happen on the way there." She continues. "But, they're in it together and that's all that matters."
"So that's how the story ends? On a plane?" Brittany asks not at all happy about the abrupt ending. Linda chuckles a little more.
"It's not how the story ends, it's just how the movie ends." Linda says. "Love stories don't have an ending."
'L' Is for the Way You Look at Me
February/March, 2012
"So," Santana looks around the room as she tip toes from the window to the bed. "Are we really all alone?" Brittany nods with a tight lipped grin and pulls back her covers.
"My mom left super early and my dad's gone for the day at the dealership." She explains and moves to the edge of the bed reaching out for Santana's hand. "They'll be gone for hours." Santana smiles and allows herself to be pulled closer.
"Hmmm…" Santana hums and wraps her arms around Brittany's neck when she feels arms circle her waist. "What should we do?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow. Brittany giggles and presses her lips to Santana's.
"I can think of a few things." She mumbles and bunches Santana's shirt in her hands.
"Oh?" Santana lifts her head, kisses the corner of Brittany's mouth and then leans back to watch hands, not her own, lift her shirt up.
"Mhmm." Brittany nods as she shuffles down in her spot and lowers her head to press her lips to the skin just below Santana's belly button where the top of her pajama shorts start. Santana watches three little kisses happen and then blue eyes are looking up at her. "And all of those things require you to be wearin' fewer clothes." Santana grins wildly and quickly moves her hands to the hem of her own shirt and peels it off. Within seconds of it off, she pulls Brittany by the back of the neck and kisses her hard.
"I like the way you think." She breathes out onto Brittany's lips as she straddles her.
Brittany's hands come to rest at the small of Santana's back, her fingers pressing into her skin as their lips move against each other. They smile into their kisses, their heads tilting to the side for a better angle. Santana's hands move Brittany's hair to one shoulder, tugging on it affectionately as she shuffles on her knees to bring her body closer to Brittany's. The sound of the front door opening and shutting brings the kissing to a halt. Their eyes pop open and their lips still.
"I thought no one was comin' home." Santana rushes out in a whisper and pulls herself away from Brittany.
"They weren't supposed to be." Brittany responds with just as much haste, but her hands instantly miss the feeling of Santana's skin.
"So, what am I…?" Santana looks around and runs her fingers through her hair. "What am I supposed to do?" She asks and looks over at Brittany when she is blindsided by her shirt getting thrown at her, hitting her square in the face. "Window it is." Santana blurts out and heads to the open window with her shoes and top in her hand.
"Wait, what?" Brittany breathes out and jumps up from the bed to walk over to Santana who is clutching her shirt to her chest. "Don't go. My mom probably won't even come in my room." She explains with a wave of her hand.
"You know what'll happen if your mom catches me in here?" Santana says in a hushed voice. "Like this." She adds, hoisting her leg up onto the window sill before looking back at Brittany who looks flustered and worried. "Look, I'm sorry." Santana tells her, sending a quick glance to the closed bedroom door. "I just know that if she catches me in here at this time, she'll have a fit. She'll assume…"
"Assume what exactly?" Brittany asks defensively. Santana looks down at the crumpled shirt in her hands, fighting the urge to drop it and stay with Brittany regardless of the repercussions. "I'm gonna tell her. I know that's what you're thinking. And I'm gonna tell her." Brittany assures her with a forced nod. "I promise."
"It's…" Santana hangs her head and shrugs. "What's to tell, Britt?" She challenges, lifting her gaze to find Brittany's blues a bit startled. "We…" Her head shakes, trying to find the words, but everything she thinks of is wrong and mean and not at all what she really wants to say to Brittany. "Look, I'll… just see you later." Brittany half smiles, nods and gives her a quick kiss goodbye.
Brittany watches long enough to see Santana hop over onto her side of the chain linked fence and then turns her attention when she hears sounds coming from the kitchen. She quickly pulls her shirt over her head and smoothes her hands over the fabric before she pulls her bedroom door open.
As she makes her way down the hall she can hear her mother on an official Knox City Council phone call. She gives her a quick wave and a small smile when she enters the kitchen and decides on making herself a snack. Once she is fixed with some apple slices and the most recent issue of US Weekly, she takes a seat at the kitchen table doing her best to ignore the ramblings of her mother.
"What're these?" Brittany asks when her magazine browsing is disrupted by her mother tossing a stack of papers on top of it. She hadn't even realized that her mother had gotten off of the phone with whoever it was she was barking orders at.
"You think you know your little friend so well." Mrs. Pierce sneers and moves about the kitchen as if she hadn't just interrupted her daughter's musings.
Brittany puts her snack down and picks up the pages, instantly realizing that they are printed copies of Santana's Facebook page. She knew about Santana's Facebook page including the comments and the pictures. That night at Holly's café Santana practically begged her to log into the social site since she was not allowed to at Aunt Linda's. It was just to see if her friend Puck had messaged her or posted a comment on her wall, but there was nothing from the boy.
"Why'm I lookin' at these?" She wonders, thumbing through the statuses swiftly. "Why do you have these?"
"Maybe by lookin' at them you'll finally open your eyes and see what I see." Annie tells her daughter.
"And what is that exactly?" Brittany sighs and tosses the Facebook print outs onto the kitchen table where her mother is now sitting.
"That Santana Lopez is not the same little girl you knew way back when. She's a bad influence and I won't have you hangin' around a person of such poor character." She explains and Brittany rolls her eyes.
"She's not a bad influence, Mom. Nobody makes me do anythin' I don't wanna do. You should know that out of anyone." Brittany spits back.
"If her pictures are anythin' to go by, followed by the astoundin' amount of comments left on each scantily clad photo, she is clearly a…a… a promiscuous girl who is too deep into the party scene." Mrs. Pierce says. "There are insinuations of drug use and… and I don't want my daughter to be around someone like her."
"She's not at all what you think." Brittany tries to defend but her mother just laughs at her.
"I assure you my dear, she is not at all what you think." Annie counters.
"Everybody thinks she's a bad person, but she's not." Brittany's voice raises and strains as she desperately tries to express to her mother that Santana Lopez is a much better person than anyone, even Santana herself, realizes.
It is beginning to become exhausting to be the only one who can see what a truly amazing person Santana is. Before she can continue on about how wrong her mother is when it comes to Santana, the phone rings and Annie is quick to answer it. Brittany can tell that it's the office again and huffs with a roll of her eyes as her mother walks out of the room, easily forgetting that she was in a serious conversation with her daughter.
Instead of gaining ground on telling her mother about the real relationship she has with Santana, she hears the Mayor get just as serious about the re-opening of the old drive-in movie theater. Rather than continue to listen to her mother care more about how much revenue opening the old drive-in would be for Knox, Brittany decides to head out to the garage earlier than she had originally planned to clear her head.
Quinn looks down at her phone. It's been going off all morning. She glances both ways before she crosses the street, ever so slowly making her way to her destination. Santana's been sending her texts since before nine and she cannot help but wonder what sort of drama is waiting. Of course it could be a number of interesting things that has her out and about before noon on a Saturday, with Santana, it's always interesting.
The last time Santana asked for some alone time with Quinn it was to vent about home life and the two sat in Quinn's truck passing a bottle of liquor between them in a deserted field. But today, Quinn does not know what to expect and so to find out she is meeting Santana at Holly's Daze for coffee on the patio which is not exactly atmosphere for getting teary eyed and 'woe is me'.
She spots her friend sitting alone at one of the four top patio tables. Santana is nervously bouncing her leg that is crossed at the knee and she has her sunglasses on as if she is incognito. Her lips are pursed which tells Quinn that she is thinking and maybe even a bit worried. That or she is just impatiently waiting for Quinn to arrive.
"One of those better be for me." Quinn comments once she gets close enough to the patio table Santana is sitting at. Santana looks over her shoulder and smirks while she moves one of the two coffees in front of her towards one of the empty chairs.
"And filled with a ridiculous, most likely unhealthy, amount of sugar just the way you like it." Santana grins.
"Yummy." Quinn claps as she moves to sit in the sit across from Santana. She sips her drink and hums out in its perfection. "So," She takes another tiny taste. "Why were you stalkin' my life this mornin'?"
"We had sex." Santana blurts out.
"What?" Quinn nearly chokes on her coffee, spitting some of it out which then dribbles down her chin. Quickly, she grabs a napkin and wipes herself clean, all the while staring back at Santana with wide eyes.
"Me and…" Santana starts, but then looks around before continuing. "We had sex." She repeats nervously, this time in a whisper and Quinn rolls her eyes. "It was, like, a few weeks ago by this lake that Brittany goes to alone. And it was raining and she looked so pretty and." Santana rambles, waving her hand as she speaks as if to make up for any stuttering that may pop out, also, she is trying to make the information light and not a big deal. "So, yeah, we did it."
"I heard you the first time." Quinn says with a wave of her hand. "How? No!" She shakes her head before Santana can explain, which would most likely be in detail, and thinks carefully about how to word her question. "I mean… I don't know… that's awesome?" Santana quirks an eyebrow, a bit dumbfounded at her friend's reaction.
"Well, that's all I'm giving you." Santana tells her when she realizes Quinn is waiting for more details. "So…"
"I gotta be honest, I was expectin' somethin' on the Brittany-and-Santana-will-they-or-won't-they storyline, but…" Quinn raises her eyebrows and carefully sips on her hot beverage. "What's wrong?" Quinn asks and tilts her head as she waits for a response. Santana's eyebrows rise at how intuitive Quinn Fabray is.
"I don't know, I just…" Santana mutters, trying to gain control of the conversation before Quinn starts rambling about topics Santana isn't quite sure she's ready to venture into.
"You just what?" Quinn interrupts Santana's thought process, making her huff in response.
"She said she loves me." Santana says quietly, her eyes focus on the tiny pull in the sleeve of her coffee cup. "Like, that she's in love with me." She sucks her lips in and gently bites on them before looking back up at Quinn who is staring back at her with her own coffee cup close to her mouth. "I mean, I've had fuck buddies before. But, they never really…" Santana thinks out loud but is cut off.
"Meant anythin'." Quinn offers.
"Are you gonna to keep finishing my sentences?" Santana spits out in frustration.
"When they're that obvious?" Quinn quirks an eyebrow. "Yes." She laughs and Santana loosens up a little and it helps lift the tension. "So, she's more than that?" She suggests in a knowing manner rather than in a questioning way. "More than a 'fuck buddy' I mean." Quinn clarifies and Santana's expression falls for a moment.
"I guess." Santana replies. "What?" Santana blurts out self-consciously when she realizes that Quinn is staring at her with a goofy grin on her face
"You're smitten." Quinn leans over the table and pokes her friend in the cheek, but, her hand is quickly batted away. "Just a smitten kitten."
"Enough." Santana waves her hands to stop the torture of being posed as a cute little pile of mush, even if it is true. "I've hooked up with a lot of people back home but none of them ever made me want to go back for seconds. Well, on purpose." She reasons and shrugs.
"Wow, that's romantic." Quinn laughs.
"I'll have you know that I am chock full of romance." Santana defends and crosses her arms over her chest.
"And hormones." Quinn adds with a wide smile and a quirked eyebrow. "I don't get it, what's wrong?" Santana sighs and shakes her head.
"It's…. it was a long couple of months, let's be serious." Santana defends. "A very long couple of months." She shivers at her dry spell. "But, with Brittany, it was… it was different." She sighs out, the fact of the matter completely throwing her off. Quinn watches her for a moment, taking in the somewhat surprise and tiny disappointment in her friend's tone.
"Well, isn't it always?" Quinn says more than asks and Santana looks at her with confusion. "Brittany makes everythin' different. She opens your eyes and makes you see things you couldn't see before. She makes things special. She makes things…" Quinn trails off when she notices a familiar powder blue truck drive onto Main Street behind Santana.
"Better." Santana finishes her friend's sentence, her own stare focused on her coffee cup.
"So," Quinn slowly starts, her eyes move back to Santana who is squirming in her chair. "Are you girlfriends yet?" She asks and Santana nearly chokes on her coffee.
"Definitely not girlfriends." Santana assures her friend with an annoyed chuckle. Quinn rolls her eyes and once more looks over Santana's shoulder to see that the powder blue truck is gone.
"Is that what the problem is?" Quinn asks, her words coming out light and a little humor in them. Santana's lips twist and her eyes stay trained on the way her hand is moving the cup along the table. "Well, then what are you doin' with her?" Quinn wonders with a wave of her hand. "I mean, other than doin' her?" Santana coughs into her hand and shifts in her seat some more which only makes Quinn huff and sigh in frustration. It's like asking a kid if they broke something when they clearly did only they won't admit it. "What? You can't tell me somethin' like that and then expect me to just go on about my day. This is kind of excitin'." She pauses for a moment, as if trying to recall anything as interesting as her two best friends getting together, but comes up short.
"How is this excitin' for you?" Santana asks.
"How is it not? It's like a fairytale." Quinn beams. "Childhood friends cross each other's path after five years and fall in love. It's… well, it's kinda beautiful." She watches her words wash over and through Santana and she smirks. "Have you told her yet?" Santana's eyes flicker up to Quinn's and her jaw slightly clenches. Quinn doesn't need a response because the glimmer in Santana's eyes is answer enough.
"Told her what?" Santana brushes off the question and leans her elbow comfortably on the arm of the metal patio chair.
"That you're in love with her." Quinn clarifies, though, she figured it was fairly obvious and says it so. Santana again does not respond only providing, what Quinn believes to be, very informative silence. "Guess not. Explains why you look so weird. You're constipated with feeling's." Santana moves in her seat and looks away, shaking her head slightly from side to side.
Santana's not shaking her head because Quinn is wrong. Santana shakes her head because, somehow, even with her evading the subject at all costs, Quinn has managed to figure out the puzzle with only a few pieces.
"People say things all the time, doesn't mean anything." Santana comments, yet Quinn only hears that she has not denied anything.
"And you don't wanna say it, 'cause, you won't mean it?" Quinn asks and Santana avoids her eyes. "Or are you just worried that Brittany didn't mean it?"
"I'm not sure." Santana groans into her coffee. Truth is she's been trying her best not to think, at least not for the past couple of hours. "There's just this big rock in the shape of Mayor Pierce that's in the way of everythin'." She reminds her friend. "I had to sneak out of her bedroom this morning and it's like… if her mom knew anything then she'd be, like, grounded for eternity or sent to live in a nunnery or, I don't know… worse."
"What's worse than either of those things?" Quinn wonders the life of both options.
"Mrs. Pierce sees right through me." Santana points out. "I'm sure she knows things about me that not even my parents are aware of." She shakes her head, imagining Annie Pierce in some secret lair surrounded by files upon files about her mishaps and devious adventures back in Boston.
"Is that the reason you're here with me right now and not with Brittany?" Quinn asks. Santana sighs and leans her chin in her hand, resting her elbow on the table. "Somethin' tells me that you'd rather be wherever it was you were with Brittany this mornin' than sittin' here with me drinkin' coffee and worryin' about things that don't really matter."
Santana looks over Quinn's shoulder as a few pickup trucks drive by and random Knox City folk wander happily in the morning sun. She thinks about the past couple of weeks, months and soon she's brought herself back to the seat she's sitting in across from Quinn wondering how the hell she got here.
When Santana gets home from coffee with Quinn she grabs the mail from the mailbox. It's mostly out of habit ever since she figured out that she could intercept her report card before her parents got home. Now, it's mostly her just trying to be a good niece and guest for Aunt Linda. She likes to think that bringing in the mail constitutes as a chore of some sort.
She flips through the envelopes and magazines, but like always, there is nothing for her in the pile. Honestly, she's not even looking for anything addressed to her, she's mostly snooping and wants to see what Aunt Linda gets in the mail. This time however, she finds that the second to last envelope has her name on it. Not only is it addressed to her, but she recognizes the handwriting.
Santana walks through the front door, tosses her keys into the basket by the table beside the front door and moves into the living room. She sets the rest of the mail down onto the coffee table and stands in the middle of the room for a moment. Aunt Linda should be home any minute and Santana certainly doesn't want any questions, so, she decides to head into her room before opening the envelope.
After shutting the door to her bedroom, she holds the envelope with both hands. She twists her lips, not quite sure if she wants to know what is on the inside. There are so many things she is expecting. But, on the same note, so many things that she isn't expecting. Her eyes lift and instantly fall to the window across the way.
Brittany's window.
Santana takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and walks over to her bed where she takes a seat right at the edge. She slips her index finger under a space in the flap and tugs it open. As she thought, it's a letter inside. Before reading, she turns it over to see that it's written on both sides and lets out a sigh. She leans back, resting against the wall with the letter in her lap.
Santana,
I cannot express how sorry I am. For everything. I understand that apologies can sometimes seem empty, just like promises can be, but I truly am so sorry.
I never imagined my life to turn out this way. I'm sure that nobody ever really does. Since you've been gone, I have not only been getting sober but sadly realizing my short comings as a mother. I became preoccupied with my own problems and took it out on you and your brother.
I need you to know that regardless of the issues I have with your father, you are my one right thing. You are the one thing in my life that is exactly what I expected and want and need. Maybe to other people you're not perfect, but that's because of me. But, you are Santana. You are perfect and don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not.
You are smart and beautiful and funny and witty. You are kind too, even though the way I have made us live has made that difficult for others to see. But it's there inside of you.
Even though I'm far away from you right now, I am comforted knowing that I know where you are and who you are with. Make sure you are listening to your Aunt Linda, she's a good girl. Tough as nails, but good at heart. Just like you.
I know that you said you don't have friends there, but sweetie, you do. You have the kind of friends there that you never forget and never grow out of. The friendships we make as children last a lifetime and then some. So, please, let yourself be open and enjoy the wonderfulness that the world and the people in it have to offer. And I hope that you do.
One of the things that has been getting me through this is remembering our summers visiting your aunt and uncle. The smiles you smiled and the sound of your laughter as you and little Brittany Pierce danced around the tire swing. You always seemed to be free while you were with her and I truly hope that is what you are doing now. Don't let my mistakes and bad choices hold you back or keep you down my darling.
I love you. Always and forever my sweet Santana.
Love, Mom
When she's done reading the letter she stares blankly down at the salutation. The last time she'd seen her mother was months ago when she and her father dropped her off at Aunt Linda's doorstep. She wonders how many times her mother tried to write this letter. She tries to picture her mother, hunched over a piece of paper with a pen in her hand with a bunch of previous drafts crumpled up all over the kitchen table. She thinks of how desperate she was to get this one letter exactly right in the hopes of making up for the years of being absent or drunk or both.
But, no matter how many letters she could send Santana, it wasn't going to make up for the gap between them. Santana didn't have the typical mother in the years that she needed it most. All Karen Lopez provided for her daughter was a steady flow of alcohol for her to steal and a blind eye to turn whenever Santana came home at odd hours in the night or morning.
"Santana." Aunt Linda calls from the other side of the closed bedroom door and is followed by a knock. Santana looks up and quickly shoves the letter under her pillow just as the door knob turns and her door opens up a crack.
"Yeah?" Santana leans against the wall and crosses her legs at the ankle.
"I'm goin' into town to get some groceries for dinner." Aunt Linda tells her and leans comfortably against the doorframe. "I invited Brittany over for dinner." Santana stares back at her. "You're a lot nicer when she's around." Linda tosses over her shoulder as she turns and walks back down the hall.
Santana hears the front door open and shut and then a few minutes later the roar of Aunt Linda's pick-up pulls away. She stays in her spot on her bed, back up against the wall. The letter she had been reading remains stuffed under her pillow, as the saying goes 'out of sight out of mind'. But, it's not out of mind. She feels angry and betrayed. She'd been getting by just fine down here in Knox without the reminders of what she'd left behind. In fact, she'd almost forgotten that somewhere up in Boston she'd once had a life.
Almost.
Sure, from time to time, she thinks of her times out with Puck. The parties and the night rides. She even sometimes smiles to herself when she remembers some dumb witty retort that would pop out of her buddy's mouth that never made much sense to her. The moments alone she had with Aunt Linda's lap top, which was basically twice, allowed her to sneak onto her Facebook page to look back at the photos of a life that felt so foreign. It was odd to her in those times that she felt she hardly missed those nights that she vaguely remembered.
But, the letter hidden beneath her pillow is a reminder. It's a reminder of the life she'd had back in Boston and the person she was when she was there. She wonders if it is possible to be both the person she was and this other version of her that she is here in Texas. She looks over to her bedroom window, the one that faces Brittany's, and just stares across the fence. Life is less complicated down here than it is back in Boston. But, at the same time, it's even more complicated in Knox City.
It's different.
Waking up and knowing that someone loves you, that someone is in love with you is strange. Santana feels as though she's finally opened her eyes for the first time ever. She sees things in ways she'd never thought she could. The sky, it's bluer. The smell of Texas is welcoming and lovely can instantly remind her of the day out by the Pierce farmhouse when she and Brittany were lying in the small field of flowers and tall grass.
But, just as much as she is overcome with a myriad of wonderful feelings, she can't escape the warning that this situation brings to them. This is still small town Texas. With all of the declarations of not caring about anyone else are great for speeches, but when put to reality it becomes a much more difficult journey. Because, is it really that easy to throw caution to the wind in a place like Knox?
It has been a constant fear, having Brittany fall victim to the unkindness that is in the world. It is a lot easier said than done and as she sits there on her bed with her back against her bedroom wall, she contemplates the consequences of their recent admissions to one another. Because, even if she damns the consequences like her aunt said, they are still very much there.
Over in the Pierce house, the Mayor is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a few papers from work. She hears the front door open and shut followed by soft footsteps letting her know that it is Brittany who is home and not her husband.
"We never got to finish our conversation earlier." Mrs. Pierce starts when Brittany walks into the kitchen and tosses her duffel bag onto one of the kitchen table chairs. Brittany sighs and rolls her eyes, she was hoping her mother would at least start a new conversation not pick up where they left off this morning. "You know," She continues. "I've been hearing a lot of things around town."
"Oh?" Brittany pays her no mind and opens her bag pulling out her dirty garage clothes. "Anything interestin'?" Mrs. Pierce watches her daughter as piles up her dirty shirt and jumpsuit on the kitchen table.
"As head cheerleader you have an obligation to your squad." Mrs. Pierce starts and Brittany breathes out a groan. She shakes her head to herself and turns around to grab a banana from the counter by the refrigerator. "Its bein' compromised by the company you've been keepin'." Brittany looks at her mother, waiting for more words of disappointment to come spewing out of her mouth. She shakes her head again and turns back to the banana in her hand to unpeel it.
"If you have somethin' to say then say it. Stop dancin' around what you mean." Brittany says over her shoulder, trying hard not to show her mother that she is getting to her.
"Ever since the beginnin' of the school year you've been actin' like a little girl." Mrs. Pierce sighs in frustration. "You've lost sight of your priorities." Brittany chuckles as she tightens her grip on the fruit in her hand.
"And what priorities are those?" She challenges and opens the refrigerator to distract herself. Mrs. Pierce finds herself growing impatient with the way her daughter so easily pushes aside the conversation.
"You've been ditchin' your friends to spend time with people that no longer matter." Annie points out and Brittany's eyebrows rise in surprise at how bluntly rude her mother can be sometimes. "Oh, don't look at me that way, you know what I mean." Mrs. Pierce waves her hand in the air as though to clear any confusion to her words. Brittany slowly takes a seat right across from her mother at the kitchen table.
"Actually, I don't think I do." Brittany shakes her head.
"My opinion about Quinn Fabray has not changed. I don't recall givin' you permission to hang around her." Mrs. Pierce finally says straightforwardly. "And apparently when you're not with one bad influence," She points over her shoulder in the direction of the Lopez house. "You're with another." Brittany chokes on laughter and a bit of banana at her mother's statement.
"Mom, this town is made up of around ten people and Quinn is one of them." Brittany defends easily. "Avoiding Quinn is ridiculously difficult. Besides, we're friends. We've always been friends and we'll always be friends." Mrs. Pierce gives her daughter a look and all Brittany can do is put her focus on her snack and pretends that she's looking for her next good bite. "Same goes for Santana. Maybe that's somethin' you're just gonna have to start understanding."
"I can still have your father let him go." Mrs. Pierce threatens and Brittany looks up.
"Probably." Brittany shrugs and takes another bite. "But, you won't."
"You really wanna test me?" Mrs. Pierce counters, giving her daughter a pointed yet slightly shocked stare. "When did you get such an attitude on you?" Brittany rolls her eyes and huffs. She hadn't been prepared to get the third degree. "Ever since that girl came into town you've been a completely different person."
"I'm the same person I've always been." Brittany defends, finally dropping her banana to the table. She looks down at her phone when it vibrates and smiles to herself. "I'm not gonna be home for dinner." She announces, pushes herself up from her chair and grabs her plate.
Mrs. Pierce says something, but she mumbles it under her breath, so Brittany doesn't pay much attention to it and goes about tossing her snack into the garbage pail. On the way to her bedroom, Brittany reaches into the bathroom to grab a hair tie she'd left on the counter and uses it to pull her hair up into a ponytail.
After grabbing a few things from her room Brittany heads back out to the hall and walks right by her mother, who she left in the kitchen, and towards the front door. It's nice to only have to walk a few feet to get to her destination.
"Hey." Santana greets when she finds Brittany standing just on the other side of the screen door.
"Hey." Brittany replies with a small smile playing on her lips.
"Come in." Santana steps back and pushes the door open for her.
"It was real nice of your aunt to ask me over for dinner." She says as she walks into the Lopez house.
"Yeah, well," Santana lets the screen door snap back and close on its own. "Aunt Linda says she can only stand me when you're around." Brittany sighs out a faint giggle and nods. She goes to reach out for her hand but is dismissed as Santana quickly pulls it away.
"What's wrong?" She asks. Santana lets out a long winded sigh and turns to the kitchen to which Brittany slowly follows behind.
"Nothing." Santana waves her hand over her shoulder and stops in front of her Aunt's liquor cabinet.
Brittany can tell by the way Santana avoids eye contact, turns her back and the simple flick of her wrist that the 'nothing' she claims is a flat out lie. She moves further into the kitchen and watches how Santana's finger tips trace over the necks of the liquor bottles.
"Are you gonna drink?" Brittany questions with confusion because if there is in fact nothing wrong, then Santana wouldn't be questing to remedy nothingness with some momentary numbing liquid.
"Why not?" Santana shrugs and sends a forced smirk in Brittany's direction before turning her focus back to her mission of acquiring alcohol.
"'Cause it's only four thirty and it's your aunt's stash." Brittany points out which only makes Santana huff.
"It's five o'clock somewhere." Santana mumbles with another dismissive wave of her hand.
"Why?" Brittany wonders and Santana chuckles to herself as she grips her hand around a half a bottle of vodka.
"I don't know the reason. Time zones and whatever." She explains and twists the cap of the bottle. She spins around, closing the cabinet door behind her and leans against the counter top.
"I meant the alcohol." Brittany replies. Santana stares back at her for a good long minute before she sighs and sets the bottle down onto the counter and crosses her arms over her chest. Her lips twist and her eyes scan down to the tile floor of her aunt's kitchen. "So, you're just gonna get drunk? What are you gonna do when your aunt gets back and she realizes you're wasted?"
"I don't need a speech. You're not my mother." Santana bites back. Brittany's eyebrows rise in surprise at the tone and she looks back at the bottle.
"You're also the one who's been sayin' that you don't want to wind up like your mother." Brittany reminds her. "I'm not sayin' you are by sneakin' a drink or two from your aunt's liquor cabinet. But," She shrugs. "I mean, people who drink at four thirty either had a hard day at work, are in college or they are tryin' not to feel somethin'." Santana lets out a strangled laugh and rolls her eyes. She nods a bit, but it's more to herself than at what Brittany has just said. "So…"
"Fine!" Santana uncrosses her arms and holds her hands up. "I'll put it back." She turns to grab the bottle, screws the top on and opens the cabinet door back up. "I'll put it back and Aunt Lee will be none the wiser."
"I didn't mean… look, everythin' was…" Brittany stammers, not sure what to say now that the mood is most definitely altered. Santana stands with her back to Brittany, hands on the counter and cabinet door still open. "I'm just tryin' to figure out…" The cabinet door slams shut and Santana spins around.
"How I feel?" Santana challenges. "Well, I feel like I'm nothin'. I feel like everythin' I touch turns to shit and anythin' I care about doesn't care about me back." She spits out angrily. Her eyes move from Brittany to a corner of the kitchen ceiling when she feels tears forming. Brittany shifts in her spot a few feet away and watches on as Santana battles the tears in her eyes from falling. "I'm sorry it's just…" She looks down at the floor.
"Santana, I care about you." Brittany tells her softly making Santana breath out a small sort of laugh. She shakes her head and finally lets her gaze fall onto Brittany who is staring right back at her.
"But," Santana starts, letting her focus falter back down to the ground. "What happens when you stop?" She asks so innocently and scared that Brittany is rendered almost speechless. Santana sighs out a disbelieving laugh when Brittany doesn't respond right away. "What am I supposed to do then, huh?"
"That won't happen." Brittany finally answers which garners a huge eye roll from Santana.
"You're so sure!" Santana yells and it startles Brittany so much that she stumbles back into the kitchen table. "It drives me absolutely crazy!" She continues in a loud tone and quickly runs her fingers through her hair as a distraction from stress. "The world isn't black and white, Brittany. There's all this, this gray and uncertainty."
"There's color too." Brittany chimes in, cutting Santana off before she can continue on in her outburst. "And surprises." She adds and takes a step closer to a now silenced Santana. "I honestly never thought I'd ever see you again. But, I have. You're here and I can't…" She looks away for a moment to process her thoughts. "You're so desperate to show me a side of you that will make me turn and run away. You want me to not want you, but it doesn't matter what it is that you do or say 'cause I'm not goin' anywhere." She reaches out once again to grab Santana's hand and this time is successful. "I know I've said this before, but you just don't seem to get it. So, I'll keep tellin' you until you finally believe me." She steps a little more closer until they are face to face. "But, first, you've gotta get over yourself and trust the both of us."
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
"Ask yourself this," Brittany shrugs and reaches up to tuck some hair behind Santana's ear. "Why haven't you walked away from this yet?" She searches Santana's eyes that struggle to avoid hers. Brittany can tell there are so many things that Santana wants to say, so many things that she needs to say, but is having a difficult time finding the words.
"I've already let you in and…" Santana sniffles and quickly wipes the back of her hand against her cheek. "What am I gonna do when you don't want me anymore?"
"Not possible." Brittany assures her in a gentle whisper. "I want you. I've always wanted you." She admits quietly and Santana finally looks back up at her. "And… I mean, it feels like I will always want you." She smiles when she finally sees a hint of relief behind those dark brown eyes.
Santana's mouth opens and closes, her eyes flickering back and forth between those beautiful blues staring into her. Her feet shuffle against the old wood floor in the hallway and she swallows the lump of words and fears and everything else.
"This is it." Santana whispers to herself between the sniffling and the wiping of tears. Brittany's stare turns into a curious one.
"This is what?"
"The part where I…" Her voice remains soft and nervous.
"I'm back!" Aunt Linda calls out as she throws the front door open. The girls jump away from each other at the sound of the booming voice followed by the slamming of the screen door behind it.
Santana moves herself away from the liquor cabinet and leans her hands on one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Brittany turns around to face the opening of the kitchen just in time to find Linda with two bags in each hand.
"Ahh, Brittany." Aunt Linda beams over at her and sets the bags down onto the table. "I see you've accepted the invitation to join us for dinner." She taps her niece on the arm and motions towards the bags. Brittany nods and sends a quick glance over to Santana who has moved to empty the contents of the grocery bags.
"Yes." Brittany finally finds her voice. "Thank you so much for the invite. You know how much I love your cookin'." She grins.
"Ya know, Santana, you don't know this," Linda moves about the kitchen. "But, Brittany was my bff while you were away." She comments and Santana quirks an eyebrow and looks over at the two of them.
"It's true." Brittany shrugs and lets out a giggle. "We played a lot of board games." She explains and crinkles her nose.
"Sound like loads of fun." Santana dryly comments. She's sort of distracted and a little thankful for her aunt's intrusion on what would have been an emotionally naked moment.
For the most part their dinner conversation is focused on how the school year is going for Brittany and her thoughts on the re-vamping of the drive-in. Santana is sort of comforted by her aunt and Brittany yapping away because she has way too many things going on her mind to even pretend to be listening. As dinner finally comes to a close the girls help Aunt Linda clear the table and clean the dishes.
When they are done with everything Aunt Linda excuses herself telling them that she is going out to meet some girlfriends from work. She tells them to stay out of trouble and that Brittany is in charge. The girls sit on the couch, both sort of looking out the bay window watching as Aunt Linda pulls out of the driveway and vanishes west on the South Service Road.
"So, did you really spend a lot of time here like you say?" Santana wonders after a few moments of quiet when she turns the television on. Brittany clears her throat and shifts in her seat beside Santana.
"Uh, yeah." She nods and watches as Santana plays with the remote control in her hands. "It was when my dad started the dealership and my mom was working her way up the Knox City Council ladder." She explains with some hand movements. "They were, like, never home." She shrugs as if it is all in the past, but, Santana can tell that it is something that is still very much relevant. "Ya know, people assume that every girl has a good relationship with her mother. Just like a lot of people figure boys and their dads bond over a catch." Brittany shrugs. "Some things in life are simple and some things are the opposite. It should be easy for me to go home and tell my mom about everything and anything; only it's not like that at all. She's not like other moms. Sometimes it feels like I don't even have a mom." She looks down at the way her feet pull up onto the couch.
"Me too." Santana mumbles.
"It's weird how some people can step into the special roles of your life, even if those roles are filled for the most part." Brittany muses, her voice soft and Santana quietly listens. "There are a lot of moments in my life that I wish I could have shared with my mother. Or… at least the kind of mother I wish I had. Instead… I make do with what I got." She explains.
"You don't have to lecture me on the letdown of parental figures. I pretty much wrote the book."
"You don't know." Brittany interrupts, her voice rises and it makes the smirk on Santana's face fade. "Everyone thinks being the mayor's daughter or even the daughter of Annie Pierce means something." She shakes her head, keeping her focus on the muted television. "No one knows that I dread goin' home sometimes 'cause all my mother does is make me feel like a disappointment. I don't do this right and I don't do that right and it makes me think that maybe I am as dumb as the rest of the town thinks I am. 'No school will want a cheerleader who cares more about the cars the boys drive than the boys drivin' 'em'." She adds the last part in a voice that imitates her mother's.
Santana studies Brittany's face. It's different than it usually looks. It's sad. Her eyes are darker and she can tell that Brittany is not exactly just in this moment, but experiencing two moments in one. She wants to say something, yet, not at all sure what to say. Before she can even think of a word, let alone a full sentence, Brittany continues.
"I was fourteen the first time I had sex." Brittany admits when the silence becomes a bit too much for her. Santana tries not to flinch or react in any specific way, she just continues to look at her and shakes her head as she absorbs this new information. Brittany continues to stare off into the television set, playing with the frayed edges of the pillow in her lap. "I was on the varsity cheerleadin' squad, both me and Quinn, which is a big deal for any Knox City High cheerleader." She continues while Santana stays still and quiet. "We'd been goin' out to parties with the squad and I just..." She nervously chuckles and shakes her head as she sets her hands flatly against the pillow. "My first time was in a bathroom on a counter next to a sink at a party. The guy never told anyone, he was actually nice. But, I felt... I felt like, as a 'popular girl', a Knox City cheerleader, my job was supposed to have sex with any guy. So," She side eyes where Santana is sitting beside her, but can't find it in her to actually make eye contact. "I did. I would just tell my mom that I was sleepin' at Quinn's or one of the other girl's houses whenever I picked a guy and she barely cared on account of me bein' a varsity girl. She loved that I was getting' popular so..."
Brittany takes a breath and tightens her ponytail. Santana watches the way she slowly brings her hands back down to her thighs and wipes her palms against her bare skin. She wonders if Brittany is nervous right now; nervous about telling Santana these things or even nervous at all. Maybe she's just wiping her hands because it's something to do.
"On one hand, I had my mom urgin' me to go out and make new friends and askin' me about boys and if I had a crush." Brittany continues, lost in the current conversation and in her memories. "It was so confusin'… 'cause I wanted her to be proud of me and talk to me and…" She sucks in her bottom lip, finally tears her eyes from the screen and looks over at Santana. "I never got 'the talk' from my mother. Miss Linda was the only adult who would talk to me about sex. I needed someone to explain the things I wasn't sure about. So your aunt did just that." Brittany says bluntly. "Right here on this couch. I had just gotten out of practice and I just felt lost and no one was home in my house. I didn't know what to do. So, I came over here 'cause I remembered in the fifth grade we went to this seminar about becomin' a women and I just had so many questions. I'm sure Miss Linda was caught off guard, I mean, there she was talkin' to the kid next door about sex."
"Aunt Linda is pretty cool like that though. She's a good listener." Santana comments, finally finding her voice and Brittany nods in agreement.
"I get that from the outside my life looks pretty comfortable. I guess it is." Brittany looks back down at her hands. "I have both parents, I have friends, I have…" Her eyes flicker up to Santana for a moment. "I'm good at adaptin' to situations. I'm good at gettin' along with basically everyone I meet. I try to look at the glass as completely full. But, then I get home and I'm tired. Sure, there's a lot worse things out there in the world, but who's to say which worse is worse?"
"I never thought about it that way." Santana thinks out loud. Brittany's lips twist and she watches as Santana takes in everything she's just told her. "I'm sorry Britt, but, why are you tellin' me all this?" She asks out of curiosity. Brittany sucks in her lips and nods, knowing that this question was going to come up.
"You've told me a lot about things about your life in Boston." Brittany says and Santana nods. "Most of it was real personal and… I want you to know everythin' about me." She shrugs and offers a small smile along with her words. "I told you that your past is important to me, 'cause it is. I think everyone's past is sort of important. I think it's fair that you know mine too. And then maybe you can see that you and I are a lot more alike than you realize." Santana looks at Brittany who is looking right back at her. She's confused. She's a little overwhelmed and slightly angry.
"You think that we're similar 'cause… 'cause you got fucked at some high school party?" Santana shakes her head and tears her eyes from Brittany's. She pushes her hands into the cushion of the sofa and moves a few inches from Brittany. She can see out of the corner of her eye the way Brittany's shoulders slump a bit and how she leans in the space she just created.
"What? No. I…" Brittany sighs and rubs her temple with her fingertips. "That's not…" Brittany, desperate to defend herself, is at a loss for words and she can see as the seconds go by that the silence and stuttering is not helping.
"Who was it?" Santana asks, the irritation clear in her voice. "Was it Finn?" She jerks her head in Brittany's direction, her eyes boring into blues. "Is he on your list?"
"No." Brittany answers almost instantly but all Santana does is huff and look away again. "Santana." She says softly and tries to reach her hand out but she is denied. "Why would it matter anyway?"
"Everyone in this stupid town acts like you and Finn Hudson are the fuckin' Cinderella and Prince Charming of Knox." Santana spits out as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Maybe they're right. Maybe…" She sighs in frustration. This turn of events is throwing Brittany off and she isn't exactly sure where this conversation is headed.
"Do you want me to be with Finn?" Brittany asks incredulously. Santana glares at her and clenches her jaw as she contemplates this scenario. Her eyes roll at the thought and at how she is digging herself into a hole for the most immature of reasons.
"I'm a jealous person." She admits, forcing the words through gritted teeth.
"We're all jealous by nature." Brittany points out matter of factly and shrugs as though it's no big deal.
"Yeah, but… I'll hate anyone and everyone else who makes you smile or laugh or worse, both." Santana explains like a child whining and Brittany smirks. "I guess the thought of him especially is disturbing on so many levels."
"And why's that?" Brittany asks, wondering if perhaps they are on their way back to the part of the conversation that Aunt Linda interrupted earlier.
Santana looks back away from the television which she had only been using as something to look at other than Brittany and finally looks at her. Her lips move because she wants to say something, anything really. Something she almost said earlier but couldn't. Something she thinks she may never be able to say out loud.
"Brittany." Santana breathes out and Brittany eagerly waits for the rest. "I… I think you should go." They both look away from one another again, neither expecting that to be said. "I…"
"Yeah, sure." Brittany awkwardly gets up from the couch and takes a few steps away. "You know," She jams her hands into the back pockets of her shorts and turns around. "I don't really get what happened between this morning and right now. Last night, you said things and… I mean…"
"Britt, I can't right now." Santana sighs with a groan and palms her face in frustration.
"When can you?" Brittany asks without pause. Santana looks down at her lap and intertwines her own fingers.
"Maybe never." She replies in a low voice. Brittany waits there, in the middle of Linda Lopez's living room, for something else. Anything really. But, Santana doesn't say a word and with that silence Brittany turns and leaves.
It's been hours since Brittany left and her aunt is still out with friends. Santana has been sitting in front of the television, still on mute, staring and thinking. Drinking too. She's been drinking and wondering why she's been such a bitch all day to Brittany for absolutely no reason. Only, there is a reason and it is hiding under her pillow in her room. The letter from her mother has been echoing in her mind since the first, third and fifth time she read it. She goes into her room, bottle of vodka in hand, grabs the letter and sits at her desk. It started raining about an hour ago and she feels like Mother Nature is trying to tell her something.
The rain cascades over the window pane, creating lines of waves and leaving droplets in its wake. It doesn't matter though, she can see through it, the rain that is, and if possible, it only makes her see clearer. Her chest heaves as her breath hitches in her throat, her mind unaware of her legs moving long strides towards the window. She swallows, roughly, and her lips part as she lifts the bottle to her mouth.
Across the way is a scene she has seen millions of times before, but, now she sees. Her brow lightly furrows, her eyes flicker from the window as her mind finally catches up with the rest of her body. The way her heart is pounding, the shaking in her hands and the tiny quiver of her chin as realization crashes over her, like the waves of water against the window.
Without another thought, her hands are lifting up the window, coming down to the sill and she's hopping out onto the grass that is sopping wet. The rain pours down over her body, like it's washing out everything that's been in her way until now. Her hand comes up to wipe the water from her eyes, only to realize it's not just rain blurring her vision, but this does nothing to stop her.
She barely feels the pinch of pain in her feet when she makes her way over the four foot high, chain linked fence. But once her bare feet reach the cool, moist grass of the Pierce's side yard, she shivers. Her body moves of its own accord, and soon enough, she's standing in front of Brittany's bedroom window. She raises her arms, letting her hands push up and against the glass to open it.
"What the…?" Brittany is startled, her voice and look of surprise gives her away. "Santana?" She breathes out, only able to stand there with a questioning expression and her hand over her chest as she watches the dark haired girl climb through her window.
She doesn't comment on how Santana is making a tiny puddle, from her dripping wet clothes onto her floor, or that she is letting the rain in. She just stands there, staring on as Santana stands in the middle of her room dripping wet, looking back at her. Her hand comes to her ponytail, tugs at the tie holding it up, and lets her soaked, dark locks free. Soon, she reaches for the bottom of her shirt and lifts it up, peeling it from her body and then shimmies herself from her shorts.
"What are…?" Brittany whispers, but she doesn't finish, too mesmerized and silenced with confusion laced with concern.
Santana's eyes flicker to the side and Brittany sees something different in them. Santana shivers, but before she can bring her own hands around her midsection to comfort herself, she steps forward. She keeps moving and doesn't stop until she gets to Brittany.
"I…" Santana tries, only, her voice won't work. Brittany does her best to read her, searching Santana's face for answers. "I need…" Her head shakes and finally she meets Brittany's eyes.
So, instead of words, she moves. Her hands grab at the bottom of Brittany's tank top, which is a little damp from sweat. Brittany allows it to be lifted over her head and discarded somewhere by their feet. One more step forward and Santana's body is pushing against Brittany's, her hand finds soft skin with the pads of her fingers. She trails them down to her forearm, wrist and palm until she laces her fingers with Brittany's.
"Santana, my parents are home." Brittany whispers, wondering if her friend can see how fast and hard her heart is beating against her chest.
"I just…" Santana dips her head, looking at Brittany through her dark, thick eyelashes. "I just want you to hold me." She admits in a tone of voice that Brittany vaguely remembers, and it makes her breathe out a soft smile.
"Yeah." She nods, lifting her free arm up and around Santana's back, tugging their clasped hands closer to their bodies.
"I need you." Santana says quietly, and her voice shakes along with her body that continues to shiver.
They stand there in the middle of Brittany's room for a few minutes, a puddle of water setting at their feet. Brittany tucks her chin into the crook of Santana's neck and gently presses her lips close to her jaw. In the softest of voices Brittany begs her to tell her what happened. But rather than hash out her issues with a good conversation Santana moves her head so that she can lean up and press her lips to Brittany's.
At first Brittany is taken back by the turn of events. One second Santana is on the verge of tears begging to be held and then she is kissing her. Blue eyes search in confusion for answers in dark browns and suddenly Santana's lips are on hers again. Brittany's eyes close and she gives into the kissing. It's deeper than the initial kiss and this time she can taste something on Santana's tongue. She pulls back, holding Santana a few inches away by her shoulders.
"You're drunk." Brittany realizes. Santana ignores her and moves in to kiss her and her hands roam over Brittany's naked skin. "Santana." She says firmly but maintains a whisper as she jerks her head back. "Talk to me." She begs.
"I don't want to." Santana says, leaning her body back into Brittany's and grabs her face with her hands. Brittany grabs at her wrists to still her. "Come on Britt, ugh, can you just fuck me." She groans as she unsuccessfully tries to pull her wrists free from Brittany's grip. "You can slap me around if you want." She drunkenly chuckles and lifts her hands up that are still being restricted. "Looks like you like it rough." Her laughter fades when Brittany finally lets her go and moves from between the door and Santana. "I was just kidding. Geez." She reaches out again and plays with Brittany's fingers as gently as any drunk person can. "I know you like it soft and slow." She says in a softer yet mocking tone.
"What's going on? Why are you actin' like this?"
Brittany pulls her hand away and Santana pouts. She slowly makes her way over to Brittany's bed and flops down, crossing her arms over her chest. She looks down at the floor and Brittany watches the wave of emotions cross over her face. In an instant she is a sad little girl with tears in her eyes.
The past five minutes seem to erase from time completely as Santana breaks down. Tears trickle down her face one, two, and three at a time. They are unstoppable and Santana is inconsolable. It only takes the first tear to slide down her cheek for Brittany to rush over to her side and wrap her up in her arms. She coos her and kisses her temple and rocks her back and forth.
Santana eventually cries herself to sleep in Brittany's arms. For an hour or so, Brittany lays there, holding Santana tight and watches her sleep. She sees the way worry and sadness seem to torture Santana even in sleep. It hurts her heart to see the girl, the person she has fallen in love with be so broken. Thought and worry wears her down and soon enough Brittany is following Santana into dreamland.
In the morning Brittany wakes, weary and still sad with empty arms. She looks around and finds any clues that Santana had been beside her the night before are completely washed away. As if it never happened. She pushes herself up from her bed and looks out her bedroom window across the way to Santana's.
For the first time in years, Santana's bedroom window curtains are closed leaving Brittany zero access. Her eyes fall to her own window sill and she wonders if those shut curtains hold more meaning than merely being closed. As much as she tries to connect, Santana keeps finding ways to pull away.
Being Sunday, she decides she better get ready for church and leave last night's events here in her room. Maybe the new day will bring a brighter Santana and they can hash everything out without the dilution of alcohol and tears and desperate attempts to forget. But when she and her parents get to church she is disappointed to hear from Miss Linda that Santana has stayed home.
"She's a bit under the weather." Miss Linda says. It's in her tone though, the way the lie falls over her lips.
Brittany is the only one who picks up on it though. Others claim there's a bug going around, but people always say that when someone falls ill. She wonders if Miss Linda found Santana hung over this morning or worse, still drunk from the night before. Maybe she even found the empty or half empty bottle that Santana took comfort in. Or maybe her aunt knows more than Brittany does. Maybe she knows the reason Santana drank herself into a crying stupor.
It isn't until Monday when Brittany goes to pick Santana up for school does she grow worried. Linda's truck is gone and there's no Santana in sight. She even used her spare key to go inside and check. No Santana. The house is completely empty. Her worried texts and calls go unanswered and ignored. When she gets to school she catches Santana at her locker, but is avoided and brushed off at every attempt at an interaction.
By Wednesday, she almost gives up completely. Like the past two days she drives up into the Lopez driveway only this time she is surprised to find Santana sitting on the porch, waiting for her. It's uncomfortably quiet when she slips into the passenger seat and even worse on the way to school. At a red light Brittany looks over at Santana who is looking straight ahead. She wants to say things. She wants to know and ask and she wants to comfort but she can't find anything to say because she is still sort of mad. She's mad for reasons that don't even make any sense.
"I'm not ready." Santana tells her. Obviously she can feel eyes on her even though she doesn't show it. She keeps her own stare on the road ahead.
Brittany nods, not quite sure what it is that Santana is not ready for. But, she figures, when Santana is ready she will know too. So, when the light turns green they continue to ride in silence. The school day goes on just as any day has only it's quieter. Brittany finds it hard to concentrate. Trying to figure out someone as stubborn as Santana is nearly exhausting.
Unfortunately for her, Coach Sue picks up on her distracted mind and decides to expose her weakness at practice. She's used to it though, for the most part. And as her coach points out her flaws to the rest of her squad she takes it in silence. As soon as practice lets out Brittany goes to the one place that always helps her take her mind off of things; Pierce Parts and Tires.
After her weekly meeting with Miss Pillsbury, Santana finds herself walking aimlessly down the street. She's supposed to be going to work, but she finds the motivation hard to gather. She stops walking when she's right around the block from Holly's Daze and calls up Holly. In a roundabout way she asks Holly for the night off. Thankfully Holly is the best boss ever and gives it to her without any questions.
It's nearly dinner time when she gets home. She walked so it took a little while longer than if she had someone get her immediately after she called out of work. But, she figured that the fresh air would do her good. The past couple of days she has been sort of avoiding everything.
After that night at Brittany's she stumbled into her room, still drunk, and found that her aunt had discovered the letter from her mother. Aunt Linda told her that this behavior was clearly unacceptable, however, under the circumstances she would give her niece a free pass. They talked for a little while, well, mostly Aunt Linda talked and Santana at least listened. Other than that little talk though, Santana hasn't spoken much to anyone or in general.
Her mind these past few days had drifted from her feelings from her mother's letter and more on her feelings for Brittany. She is ashamed at the way she acted and especially with the way she spoke to Brittany. She would completely understand if Brittany actually wanted nothing more to do with her. Even though the girl next door claimed nothing could make her feelings change, Santana knew that there was always a line and only so much that someone would be willing to take. She just hoped that she hadn't pushed her luck.
"How do you tell someone you love them?" Santana asks her aunt as she is washing dishes in the sink after dinner. Aunt Linda stops what she is doing and looks up quickly. It's the first words Santana has spoken in a few hours other than 'I don't have work' when she got home. Santana is continuing to wash the dishes, almost as if she hadn't said a word let alone ask what she just asked.
"You say it." Aunt Linda tells her flat out before going back to fixing the table cloth on the table.
"What if…" Santana begins again after a few long seconds of silence. "What if they gave you this big speech about why you are the greatest thing in their life? That… just being near them, you make everything make sense. And that, the scary isn't as scary when you're holding their hand." She pauses in her dish washing motions and looks over her shoulder in the direction of Aunt Linda. "How do you respond to that? How do you top that?" Her eyes finally lift up and meet Aunt Linda's gaze. Aunt Linda's head tilts to the side and she stands up straight. Her hand comes up to rest on her hip and she tucks some stray hair behind her ear as she lets out a sigh.
"Love isn't about who says it first or always. It's not about where you say it or how you say it. The words aren't scary, it's what they stand for. When you say them you're not telling this person you're nothing without them. You're telling them that you're everything with them." Aunt Linda explains and for about a minute they stand there, in the kitchen, staring at each other. Linda watches as her words of wisdom sink into her niece and the way she nods as she accepts them for whatever they are.
"Okay." Santana shrugs and turns back to the sink and starts up washing another dish. Linda keeps her eyes on Santana for a couple of more seconds.
"Hey Santana." Aunt Linda calls out and Santana regards her with a hum and a quick look over her shoulder to show she is listening. "Falling in love with someone, that's the easy part." She starts and she can instantly see Santana's hands slow down until they completely stop. "What complicates things is our fear of allowing them to love us back. For them to see us at our worst and not leave. For them to see us at our very best and not be turned off by arrogance. For them to see us as we are. That's the hardest part of love. It's about being vulnerable and that's frightening." She sees Santana's head bob up and down in understanding and then eventually she's back to rinsing off the dish in her hand.
"Umm," She hums and shuts the faucet off before turning around. "You think I can borrow the truck for, like, an hour?"
Brittany walks out from the employee bathroom with her cheer duffle bag in her hand. The soft scent of soap wafts off of her arms and hands as she walks towards one of the bench tables to set her bag down. The garage is empty and quiet, the other guys had left well over an hour ago. She enjoys the time to herself. Working on cars and listening to music is a form of clarity that sometimes dancing just can't bring to her.
As she zips up her bag, ready to throw it on her shoulder and turn around to call it a day, a noise comes through the speakers of the garage. Her brow furrows at the static fuzz that slightly echoes against the cement walls of the garage. She stills her movements at what sounds like a radio dial being turned until finally, the beginning pings of a song enters her ears.
Letting go of her bag, she turns around and sees the office light on with Santana standing on the other side of the glass door. They stare at one another for a few seconds, the radio playing something soft and slow in the background.
Santana looks down at her hands that are fidgeting in front of her body and steps closer to the glass door. Brittany follows suit, taking tentative steps towards the door. When there is literally just the thin pane of glass between them, their eyes finally meet.
Brittany reaches to grab the handle of the door to yank it open, but is stopped when Santana's right hand comes up to her eye level. She presses her palm to the glass and Brittany takes notice of the writing on her hand.
'I'm sorry'
Brittany smiles softly as her eyes scan over the writing on the other girl's soft skin. She swallows hard as she shifts her eyes to meet Santana's and lightly shrugs a shoulder. Santana raises her other hand, a small smirk on her face.
'dance?' is written on the other hand and Brittany's smile grows as she pulls the door open but it's already being pushed. Their hands reach out to one another until their bodies are as close as can possibly be with clothes still on.
They sway side to side, Santana's chin resting comfortably at Brittany's chest and her arms around her waist. It's quiet between them for a little while and they enjoy the music and the way their bodies just meld together in a perfect dance. After a few steps, Santana clears her throat and explains everything to Brittany. She tells her about the letter that she got from her mom and what it said. More importantly, she tells her how it made her feel.
Brittany listens on silently, nodding and humming at the right moments. She can't help but love the feel of the vibrations against her body as Santana speaks into her skin, revealing so much to her. She feels special and needed and wanted and so many other great feelings that probably have words but she can't think of them.
"I know I keep pushing you away." Santana admits, her head now resting on Brittany's shoulder. "I don't know why." She tugs on a piece of string from Brittany's shirt. "I'm a fuck up and a loser and you deserve someone so much better than me." She insists, almost pleading with Brittany to agree and finally give up on her. When Brittany doesn't respond, she sighs. "I'm sorry." She mumbles and a tiny sob comes out. "I didn't expect to get this upset over a stupid fucking letter. Isn't it ridiculous?" She spits out in a whisper.
"I don't think it's ridiculous at all." Brittany says in a quiet voice, finally pulling her head back to look down at Santana, coaxing her to look up. She places her hand at the small of Santana's back, letting her thumb rub tiny circles there.
"Like, does she just expect me to forgive her so easily?" Santana asks, sounding pained at the thought of what her mother even wants from her after being absent for so long. Brittany bites her bottom lip, her eyes flicker to the side for a moment.
"Can I say something?" Brittany wonders, not sure if this is one of those moments when she is supposed to remain quiet and nod a bunch of times until Santana cries herself into silence. Santana sniffles, looks up at her and nods. "You're not a fuck up. Maybe you've made some bad choices, maybe you've done some things that are… less than ideal for the rest of the world." They both chuckle sadly. "But, you're no fuck up. I know you think that you don't deserve certain things in life, I think we all feel like that sometimes. But, that's just what growing up is about and honestly, I don't think that ever stops. I do know one thing." Brittany's voice is so soft and soothing and Santana sniffles when Brittany rests her chin in the crook of her neck and holds her just a little bit tighter. "I love you. Even the parts that make you think you're no good for me. Especially the parts that think that 'cause it just gives me more of a reason to show you you're wrong."
"And you know how much I hate being wrong."
"Exactly. But, you're so cute and pouty." Brittany chuckles and presses a kiss to Santana's cheek.
"Hey, Britt?"
"Mhmmm, yeah?" Her voice is scratchy and dry and her eyes are closed.
"I... I think you're beautiful."
Brittany pulls her head back to look into Santana's eyes. They are wide and glistening. She can see that the words Santana can say mean so much more than what they sound like. Her eyes scan over her features until they land on those pouty lips that always taste delicious. She leans forward to press a soft, sweet and quick kiss to that wonderful mouth. When she opens her eyes she is relieved to find a smile beaming up at her.
It is pretty easy for Santana to get back into the swing of a regular week of school after that night in the garage. For a day or two she felt very immature and slightly naïve to believe that a simple apology could make everything better especially since it's what her mother had tried to do with her. It was the very reason she had blown up and fell off the deep end.
But, she is thankful to have someone like Brittany in her life because it makes her saying 'I'm sorry' as simple as it sounds. She apologizes and almost all is forgiven. In a way it gives her a small glimmer of hope to learn to forgive as easy as Brittany can. She figures that when someone is truly and deeply sorry then forgiveness is a bit simpler.
"Do you believe in soul mates?" Kurt asks the table as he sits down.
"I don't know." Quinn sighs as she grabs her water bottle.
"Maybe." Tina offers with a slight shrug.
"I do." Brittany answers almost instantly and the rest of the table turn to look curiously in her direction.
"But, there're so many people in the world." Tina interjects and everyone seems to agree with this statement. Brittany just smiles sweetly as she pulls her lunch from her backpack, not at all interested in everyone else's negativity.
"But, there're only so many people that we meet." Brittany answers in that all knowing tone and Quinn smirks, because she knows something brilliant is about to be said.
"Okay." Kurt drawls out, not at all settling for that as a good enough answer and Brittany picks up on this.
"I think that everythin' happens for a reason." She starts. "We're meant to make the choices we make and we're meant to make the mistakes we make." She quickly glances over at Santana who is listening intently. "It's what brings us to where we're supposed to be. We all have a destination to get to, wherever it may be. But, it's the journey that really matters the most anyway. I think that if everyone just stopped thinkin' about where they'll end up they'd find what they're lookin' for." Brittany says with a shrug and takes a quick sip of her drink.
"And what's that?" Quinn asks, curiosity peeking out.
"Everythin'." Brittany tells her with a smile.
"That's pretty vague." Quinn replies and Brittany chuckles.
"I'm sittin' at a table full of pessimists so of course any answer I give isn't gonna be good enough." Brittany points out and everyone basically quiets in surprise. "I believe in soul mates 'cause I think that the person you're meant to be with is someone you've already met in one way or another. Maybe literally or maybe they're just an idea. If they're an idea then you'll know when you eventually meet them that they're who you've been lookin' for all along. And if you know them already, well, then that's just a bonus. The hard part then is just showin' them that not only are they your soul mate, but that you're theirs too. 'Cause sometimes not everyone knows they are lookin' for anythin'."
"Okay, okay." Tina chimes in with a wave of her hand. "What happens if you meet your so-called 'soul mate' and it doesn't work out?"
"Yeah." Kurt nods. "What if the forces pull you apart, like an iceberg?" He asks and Quinn rolls her eyes.
"I think we're talkin' 'bout real life here, Kurt."
"Umm, and I'm talkin' about things that may happen. Cinematic romance is a good guide for the do's and don'ts of any relationship."
"While I'm certain Kurt isn't insinuating that any of us are gonna be boardin' the Titanic anytime soon, he does have a point. I mean, what about Meredith and Derek in Grey's Anatomy? The fates have tested them at least twice every season."
"Word." Kurt agrees and sends a pointed look over at his cousin.
"And look at One Day. Anne Hathaway and that British guy wound up realizin' they were meant to be even though life constantly threw them into situations that would keep them apart." Tina adds.
"If you're gonna compare life to the movies, how 'bout somethin' more plausible?" Quinn interrupts and everyone looks at her. "Like, The Notebook."
"I love that movie." Tina sighs, romance sparkling in her eyes.
"They did end up together." Kurt agrees. "Even if she did forget who he was."
"Which one was The Notebook?" Mike asks.
"The movie with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams." Kurt replies and gets a blank stare from Mike.
"Boy meets girl and falls in love. Boy gets girl to fall in love with him. Boy loses girl thanks to girl's over bearin' mother who has different expectations for her daughter." Quinn explains. "It's actually a really sad movie."
"I don't think I saw that one."
"Yes you did." Tina reminds him and he shrugs. "And yes it was sad but beautifully sad and devastatingly romantic. A true story of soul mates meant to be." She grins and looks to Brittany. "You may be right after all."
"It was just a movie." Brittany forces out a sighed laugh.
"Well, I could relate to that one the most." Quinn says and side eyes Brittany. "It was one of the most honest movies I've seen about love. We all have our own personal hopes and dreams. But, sometimes we fall into other people's expectations of us and who we're supposed to be."
"I can relate to that one." Kurt raises his hand.
"Alright enough of this mushy crap. I feel like I'm drownin' in estrogen." Mike interrupts with a dramatic eye roll. "Tina and I were hopin' to get a group to April's. Anyone in?" He raises his eyebrows and scans the table, a big smile on his face. The girls start laughing and Kurt goes on about how he met some guy the last time he was there.
"Yeah, enough with the mushy crap I just wanna dance." Quinn mocks and gets a few more chuckles out of the other ladies at the table.
"I am absolutely down for a trip to April's. The last time we all went there together a very dapper boy asked me to dance." Kurt tells everyone, a huge smile on his face. "He's so sweet and charming and…"
"The guy with the eyebrows?" Santana asks when Kurt continues to rant. Everyone's laughter dies down a bit and they smirk at her and then Kurt.
"He was adorable." Kurt defends.
"He was the poster boy for a gel-er-vention." Santana pokes fun though she keeps serious for affect.
"Did you get his number?" Brittany asks.
"Oh, you bet he did." Quinn jumps in and bumps her shoulder into her cousins.
"Ooh, what's his name?" Tina wonders suddenly intrigued since there is actually depth to Kurt's story. Kurt looks around the table to see if this is some ploy to poke fun or if everyone really wants the details.
"His name is Blaine and he's in a band." Kurt shares in a coy manner and the girls fawn over him as he tells them all about the night that he met Blaine Anderson.
As the rest of the table falls silent to hear every detail, Santana watches Brittany. She smiles at the way the blonde leans in for the parts of the story that Kurt whispers about and the parts she looks around to see everyone else's reaction. It's hard for her not to smile from ear to ear when she catches Brittany's eyes and they have a moment of their own.
After school Santana walks Brittany to the cheerleader's locker room like she usually does on days she doesn't have work and or her meeting with Miss Pillsbury. The hallways are getting less and less crowded as the students head out for the day or making their way to their own after school activity.
"So, do you wanna go to April's?" Brittany asks, her fingertips grazing Santana's palm which instantly makes the both of them smile.
"I think I can fit that into my schedule." Santana jokes in a semiserious and Brittany playfully raises her eyebrows.
"Well, I mean if you can pencil me in…" Brittany pulls her hand back when a few of her teammates come by and tugs on her cheer duffle hanging at her shoulder. Santana crosses her own arms and watches, waiting for the two girls to vanish into the locker room.
"I can always pencil you in." As soon as the words come out of her mouth she can feel her cheeks grow hot and Brittany lets out a tiny laugh. "Wow, and that came out way dirtier than it sounded in my head." She shakes her head at herself and grins.
"I'm totally okay with that." Brittany assures her with a shrug.
Down at the other end of the hallway stands Finn Hudson. He hasn't been watching long, just long enough. He can't hear a word Brittany is saying to Santana or vice versa. Frankly, he doesn't have to. He slams his locker shut and turns and walks in the other direction nearly barreling into Quinn Fabray in the process.
"Hey, watch it." She bites back when his giant sized elbow slams into her shoulder. He pays her no mind and turns a quick left to the guy's locker room to get ready for basketball practice completely missing her perfected scowl.
She rolls her eyes and returns her focus to straight ahead and notices Brittany and Santana talking just outside of the locker room. Her pace picks up, only a bit, and she adjusts her cheer duffel strap on her shoulder. When she gets close enough she picks up on the fact that they are talking about April's Rhodehouse.
"Please tell me you guys are comin'." Quinn interjects before they even know she is present. They both regard her with a look, letting her know she is more than welcome to join their conversation. "There's no way I can handle bein' Kurt's wing woman for another weekend in a row." She huffs and her two friends chuckle. "I had to hide in a corner last week when they were havin' a body glitter war."
"That doesn't sound so bad." Brittany muses.
"It is when you have to rub up against some big Russian chick named Rhino." Quinn quickly adds and Santana laughs while Brittany's eyes widen. "True story."
"We should probably get ready or Coach will have us run laps." Brittany points out, not wanting a repeat of last week.
"Yeah." Quinn nods and grabs the door to the locker room.
"I'll see you guys later." Santana says with a wave and goes to leave. "I got work anyway."
"Call me later." Brittany calls out.
"Don't call me." Quinn chimes in from inside the hallway of the locker room. "I'll be havin' a Real Housewives marathon."
Santana smirks and looks over her shoulder to see one last flash of Brittany's blonde ponytail sway until the door closes behind her. She jams her hands into the pocket of her leather jacket and makes her way to the front doors of Knox City High School. There are times like today that she thinks of all the little things she lets get to her and even the big things that she should also sometimes let go of.
The light breeze that a winter's afternoon in Knox brings gives her a nice form of relaxation. Her walk to work, though long, lets her reflect on a week's worth of work on herself. That's what Miss Pillsbury calls her time here in Knox City. Time to reflect and learn and heal and perhaps, even if just a little bit, change.
She thinks of the things, big and little, that she almost lets dictate her life. The way she acts is a direct effect from outside factors. Her mother's letter brought her frustration and anger and some pain. Unfortunately, she acted out much like she usually does. It's not so much that she shouldn't let other things bother her, but to what extent should it?
Moments that she experienced while reading the letter should not make her want to ruin everything that she has done so far. Like, make new friends, reconnect with old ones and do better in school. She doesn't exactly want to ruin those things, but she winds up on her way to doing so by breaking into Aunt Linda's liquor cabinet and making a fool of herself in front of Brittany. She's lucky that Brittany is so forgiving because other people would have tossed Santana out on her ass months ago.
Back in the Knox City High School gymnasium, Brittany goes about her stretching as she normally does, using the bleachers to warm up her hamstring muscles and calves. About twenty feet away Quinn uses the wall to balance herself as she stretches out her quads the way she usually does, far away from the rest of the group.
As Brittany gets both feet on the ground and tightens her pony she is bombarded by a group of her fellow cheerleaders. They are all staring at her and then looking at each other, all with smirks and awkward smiles etched on their faces. Brittany looks curiously at each and every one of them, not quite sure what to expect from this impromptu pow-wow.
"Uh, hey girls." Brittany waves. "What's up?"
"Brittany, me and some of the girls have been talkin'." One short brunette says, her arms over her chest and she glances at her teammates. Brittany assumes the 'girls' are the ones who are standing right in front of her. She nods and sets her hands on her hips then moves side to side, not wanting to lose any motion before they start so she doesn't have to stretch again. "We feel like your head isn't in it this year." She continues when no one, not even Brittany, says anything. Brittany's head tilts, her brow furrows and she stops swaying from side to side.
"What?" She asks, a little thrown off. Brittany is captain of the cheerleading squad, at every single practice and competition and she choreographs most, if not all, of the routines including the one that has gotten them into the qualifiers for the championship.
"You've been totally disconnected." Another one of her squad mates comments.
"And during the most important season of the year." The first girl chimes back in. "And for most of us, this is our senior year."
"I get that you and neighbor girl were major biffles when you were, like, toddlers or whatever. But, she's not any of the girls who've been by your side these past four years." Jessica, her second in command adds, just putting in her two cents. "We've been your girls since freshman year. And she just rolls into town with her leather jacket and bad attitude and you drop us." She points out with clear annoyance but tries to make it sound like she cares that Brittany has apparently been MIA.
"Well, you didn't drop us drop us, but you've been super anti-social." The short brunette jumps in, trying to take away the negative tone that Jessica sort of mixed into the conversation. "If it was 'cause you were dating someone, then it'd be so different. But, you're not."
"And she's a lesbian." Jessica reminds her, whispering 'lesbian' in a sing song tone of voice.
"You have sincerely been oblivious. Finn Hudson has been eyeing you up since last summer and all you can do is worry about new girl and Quinn Fabray." One of the other seniors points out. "Who we have no problems with by the way, she is squad after all." She back tracks, not wanting to bash Quinn if by chance this week they are supposed to be friends with her again.
"But, it's hard to keep track of who we're friends with." Jessica explains with a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders while a few of the girls look over at Quinn who is now on the floor stretching.
"One minute we're blacklisting Quinn and then we're supposed to be her best girls." Says the girl who initiated the conversation.
"And we, like, cannot depend on you for your squad duties and decision making as captain." Jessica comments with a tilt of her head and purses her lips.
They all stand there, staring at Brittany with Brittany staring back at them, trying her best to absorb the rapid fire of semi-insults that have just been flung her way. She blinks a few times, tugs at her ponytail and glances down at her cheerleading shoes.
"When was the last time you were at a party at Hudson's house or at Stars Lake?" Jessica asks and her minions nod, looking to Brittany for a response.
"You're right." Brittany breathes out because she honestly cannot remember the last time she hung out with her squad when it was not practice or a competition. "I've sort of been missin'." She concedes, mostly because she has no choice in the matter. It has been something her mother has noted but she didn't think that it was that big of a deal to everyone else.
"Perfect." Jessica grins as wide as a Cheshire cat and side eyes the other girls. "I'm sure he wants to give you a personal invitation, but, word is Finn's mom is going away this weekend."
"So, party at Finn's house." Brittany finishes the invite with the obvious. The girls grin and nod, but, then she remembers she already has plans this weekend. She's supposed to go to April's Rhodehouse with her other friends. "Wait."
"Ugh, don't tell us you're already plannin' to ditch us." Jessica complains.
"No, it's… Friday or Saturday?" Brittany wonders, one part hoping for Saturday so that she can go and the other hoping for Friday so that she doesn't have to go.
"Saturday night. Kegs, boys and music." Jessica says and a few of the girls giggle.
"Alright girls!" Coach's voice bellows through the gymnasium as she speaks into her megaphone. "Enough chit chat. Let's get going before you make me regret waking up today." All but one of the girls scatter at the sound of Coach Sue's shout.
"I just wanted to let you know, 'cause we're friends and all," Jessica begins in an almost whisper. "People have been sayin' things about you and that Santana girl." Brittany glances in her direction not at all giving a reaction. When Brittany doesn't say anything back, Jessica sighs and rolls her eyes as she turns to walk backwards so she is facing Brittany. "She likes girls. I mean, we all know you don't." Brittany looks ahead of her where the rest of the squad is getting into formation. "If she makes a move on you don't say I didn't warn ya." She smiles widely, almost annoying and turns to face the right way before jogging to the rest of the girls.
Santana making a move is not the problem, Brittany thinks to herself as she quickens her pace to join her team. Throughout the entire practice all Brittany can think of is ways to get Santana to make a move. She has basically given her a million opportunities to take the lead. In a way, Brittany can appreciate a little hesitation. She thinks it's cute the way Santana gets all nervous when they are alone together and in intimate situations. Instead of worrying about what other people are thinking and saying, Brittany is thinking about the next time she can kiss Santana.
By Friday everyone who is anyone is talking about the raging party that is going to happen at Finn Hudson's house. There are even some freshmen who are talking about crashing it because they heard that his parties are legendary. Santana hears through the halls of Knox City High School about the 'bitchin' party' and is so thankful that she will not be attending yet another Finn Hudson party. The last thing she wants to do is go to the house of her sworn enemy and major douche bag.
She found out at lunch that Kurt is going because, apparently, the reason Finn's mom is out of town is because she is having a weekend with none other than Sherriff Hummel who is incidentally Kurt's dad. But, he's not going because it's a Finn Hudson party, he's mostly going to do recon in the off chance their parents wind up together.
Quinn, of course, is planning on not going due to personal and understandable reasons. Although she does comment about how it's getting harder and harder to avoid any high school gathering because her excuses to other people are starting to repeat themselves.
Tina is going because Mike is her boyfriend and a teammate slash sort of friend of Finn's.
Since Santana's not planning on joining the masses and Brittany sort of brushed her off when she asked if she was going, Santana picked up an extra shift at Holly's. Even Holly heard about the party and told Santana that she would still make it even after they closed. It is funny that trying to keep herself occupied to avoid the party wasn't even possible.
Content with refilling pepper and salt shakers for the evening, Santana's thoughts are broken when she hears the bells on the door chime. There hasn't been a new customer in an hour and she inwardly thanks whoever they are for keeping her company. When she looks up from the counter she is surprised to find Brittany Pierce standing on the other side.
"Hey?" Santana lets out in confusion, making Brittany grin.
"Hi." Brittany steps forward and takes a seat at one of the stools.
"Don't you have a party to get ready for?" Santana comments with a nod of her head before getting back to the shakers. Brittany looks down at her outfit and frowns for a moment.
"I am ready." She points out and Santana pauses to look back up.
"Right, so you are going." Santana chuckles noticing that Brittany is wearing extra nice clothes and some eyeliner. "Sure Finn will be happy to see you." She tries not to let it come out that bitchy but she really knows no other way. Brittany sighs and taps her fingers on top of the counter.
"I'd really like it if you came with me." Brittany doesn't sugar coat it at all, just comes right to it. Santana laughs and shakes her head.
"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea." She says and tosses a dish rag into the sink.
"Why not?" Brittany rests her forearms onto the counter top and leans forward. "I asked if I could bring a friend and he said I could."
"Does he know the friend you were talkin' about is me?" Santana asks with a quirked eyebrow. She's a little thrown when Brittany nods. "What did you say?" She wonders and picks up some sugar caddies to distract her mind.
"Well, he came to my locker today and asked me to come to his party." Brittany starts to explain. "I said I heard he was having one and that I was thinkin' about it." Santana nods though her focus is on the sugar packets she is trying to neatly organize. "I told him I thought it would be pretty awesome if you could come since you're still kinda new and don't have many friends."
"Thanks." Santana snorts and gives Brittany an amused look. "And he said 'yes'?"
"I mean, he didn't exactly say that word."
"What did he 'exactly' say then?"
"Whatever." Brittany replies with her best Finn impersonation and it makes Santana giggle.
"That's good. You really sounded like him." Santana jokes, finally giving up on her useless distraction and looks up at Brittany.
"Oh yeah?"
"Definitely. You really nailed him." Santana rolls her eyes at herself. "The way he talks I mean. You really… totally sold it." She pats the counter with her hand in an awkward fashion that is luckily missed by Brittany. This isn't the first time she stumbles over her words in front of the blonde and says something slightly inappropriate.
"Sam's better at impressions." Brittany mentions seemingly out of nowhere.
"Oh?"
"Yep, and he's gonna be there so you have to come so you can hear them." Brittany presses, leaning a bit more onto the counter. She can see Santana's demeanor change and she is sure that if she begs a little more she'll cave in and come to the party. "If it totally sucks we can leave." Santana twists her lips and thought and tilts her head as she eyes Brittany up.
"No questions asked?" Santana wonders but Brittany has her confused face on. "If I'm havin' a horrible time and want to leave we can just go. You won't make me tough it out?" She asks.
"Okay." Brittany nods and holds out her pinky. "I promise." Santana smiles and grips Brittany's pinky with her own.
"I have another hour and a half here, so…" Santana grabs a menu and slides it in front of Brittany.
Two hours later Santana finds herself sitting in Brittany's truck on their way to Finn Hudson's house. The only reason she ever thought she'd be going to Finn's house would be to kick his ass. She never thought in a million years she would be going, willingly, to his house for a party. But, she figures, at least she is going with Brittany.
"One of my teammates basically told me she thinks you have a crush on me." Brittany says as they park across the street from the obvious party house. Santana smirks as she flips down the visor to check out her makeup in the mirror.
"That's funny." She hums as she fixes her lip gloss.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I can barely stand you." Santana winks before opening her door, bag in hand. Brittany snickers and follows close behind. "So, should I expect the typical white boy party? Ya know? Talking way too loud, lots of cheering for absolutely no reason, the over use of the term 'bro' and beer pong?" Brittany pretends to think hard about it before breaking into a grin and nods. "Thought so." She shrugs, ready to get her high school house party on.
It's nothing short of what Santana expects from a Texas high school house party. She's a little surprised that it's her first one. Well, first house party in Knox. She does recall the unfortunate gathering that happened at Stars Lake within the first month or so of her being here and perhaps it was unfortunate because she hadn't quite found her place yet. Even though her place isn't exactly cemented she feels comfort within a certain crowd and at least more than half of them are at Finn Hudson's house right now.
The Hudson house is stocked with booze, music, cheerleaders and letterman jackets. The girls that are usually donning their short cheerleading skirts are walking around in regular street clothes making Santana almost doesn't recognize them. She rolls her eyes when she hears a varsity cheerleader demand a junior varsity girl get her a new cup and how a group of varsity football players are picking on a non-jock sophomore. Her thoughts on how those things are the reasons she never associates with athletes fades away because Brittany is pulling on her elbow and leans in to talk into her ear.
"I see Tina." Brittany says and points towards the stairs by the kitchen where Tina is standing with Kurt while Mike is talking to a few of his football buddies.
"Brittany!" Tina all but cheers when they get within a few feet. "And Santana. Wow, I didn't think you'd be here." She's still smiling but looking at Santana with a tilted head and curious eyes.
"Tina's been enjoying the Jell-O shots a little too much." Kurt says as he leans his shoulder to hers.
"Yeah, my tongue's green." Tina tells them and sticks out her tongue which makes Brittany laugh because it is in fact green. "You guys want some? I think I ate all the green and blue ones…" She frowns when she looks down at the tray of Jell-O shots on the counter a couple of feet away. Brittany looks to Santana who nods at the offer.
"I'll take red, purple or black." Santana sighs and takes a glance around the house. "I'm definitely gonna need some alcohol to get through this." Kurt chuckles and she thanks him with a smirk while Brittany watches a confused Tina brush by her.
"Black Jell-O?" Tina mumbles to herself as she walks over to grab the tray before all of the cheerleaders take them all.
"So, how'd Brittany rope ya into this hetero pre-mating ritual known as a high school party?" Kurt asks, sidling up next to Santana, hooking his arm into hers and pulls her closer to the wall he's been people watching from. Santana looks back at Brittany who grins, nods and then turns away to say hello to a few of her teammates who she hears calling her name.
It only takes thirty minutes after their arrival for Brittany to sneak back up to Santana and tell her that she needs to take Tina to the bathroom. She apologizes, of course, for leaving her alone. But, Santana doesn't mind much. No one has given her a reason to want to run out of here, so, for now she'll stand up against the wall and follow Kurt's lead from earlier and people watch.
She has been successful in avoiding having to say anything to the host of the party, something she is eternally grateful for. But she has spotted him, wandering around his house from group to group, thanking people for coming and every now and again eyeing up Brittany. With Brittany now in the bathroom, he unfortunately still keeps looking over in that direction.
Santana pulls out her phone to check the time, just as she did when Brittany and Tina had hurried off to the upstairs bathroom. They've only been gone for ten minutes, but it is a long ten minutes. She seriously hopes that they get back before another ten go by, because with Kurt on the other side of the room talking to some junior varsity cheerleaders and Mike is making his rounds. There's only so much time she can spend leaning up against the wall.
Luckily the fates hear her internal pleas and she hears the familiar sound of a certain blonde's laughter. Santana looks on as Brittany walks back from the bathroom with Tina close behind. They are talking closely because the music is almost too loud and the boys they go to school with are definitely too loud. They laugh and smile and use their hands to talk as they make their way back in Santana's direction.
Santana smiles.
Brittany is without a doubt the most beautiful person in the world to her. She wishes she had the strength that Brittany seems to possess. She has this ability to freely and without care share her feelings for anything, everything and for anyone. Santana loves Brittany and she wants to tell her.
"Hey." Santana mouths with a smile when she and Brittany finally catch eyes. Brittany grins back and mouths the same. Brittany gets close, taking up the spot right next to where Santana is leaning against the wall. Santana leans over until her nose is practically lost in blonde locks and her lips ghost the pale skin of Brittany's cheek. "You're beautiful." She can feel Brittany shiver with a laugh and she smiles even wider. Maybe it's not what she wanted to say, but she still means it.
"I'm gonna get a drink. You need anything?" Brittany asks, not flinching at all when she feels Santana's fingers discreetly graze hers.
"I'm good." Santana tells her with a smile. Brittany nods, slowly slides her fingertips from Santana's grip and walks towards the kitchen.
When Brittany gets lost in the sea of Knox City teenagers, Santana lets out a sigh and goes back to looking around. She barely gets a chance to turn her head fully around before she sees the parties host standing in front of her. With a grimace on her face she tries to ignore his stare, but it's impossible because he steps closer, letting her know he is here to say something to her.
"You…" Finn stares at her, squinting his eyes as though it makes it easier to see what he has just spotted. "You like her." He breathes out, half surprised, a quarter annoyed, and the rest disgusted. "Like that."
Santana keeps her cool and with an eye roll she merely shakes her head hoping she can just stay silent and go on ignoring him. With a sigh she shifts in her spot, pushes herself from the wall and goes to leave Finn to his own devices but she's more than startled when he reaches out and grabs her wrist.
"Brittany ain't no dyke." He spits out in a furious whisper, his beer and whiskey drenched breath covering Santana's face. She looks up at him and tries to jerk her arm free from his grasp, only he doesn't let up and steps in even closer. "She'd never want you." He says through gritted teeth. "She's never gonna look at you that way so just get it outta your head."
Santana pushes against Finn's chest with her free hand and continues to tug the other that is still in his vice like grip. When he finally lets go he smiles smugly at her while she rubs at her wrist and stares back at him annoyed and only slightly afraid.
"Ya know, you're delusional to think she'd ever want you." Santana spits out and goes to walk away. Finn sneers and pokes Santana square in the shoulder, bringing his face closer to hers once again.
"You really don't wanna mess with me little girl." He tells her and she scowls up at him. "I can make the rest of the school year a nightmare for you."
"Oh?" Santana lets out and flicks his hand away from her. "Is that a threat?" She crosses her arms over her chest and her head bobbles to the side in annoyance. Finn stands up straight and jams his hand into the pocket of his jeans.
"It's a promise." He says with a wink and a smile before he turns to leave her alone in the hallway.
Santana would love to call out after him, tell him how she really feels about him and about all the things Brittany would rather do than ever be with him. Only, she doesn't. Instead, she looks down at the ugly rug in the hallway of the Hudson house and the way the wallpaper is peeling at the bottom. She looks down at her shirt, not really inspecting it or caring what she is even wearing. It's just something to do. Her brain rewinds and replays what just transpired a few times over and over.
With a deep breath she finally walks through the hallway, into the dining room then into the kitchen where her friends actually are. She looks around and sees Mike with Tina on the beer pong table with Kurt cheering them on. Brittany is a few feet away from them talking to a couple of girls from her squad, obviously having got distracted for a moment. She's smiling and genuinely having a good time with them. Sure, Santana wants to leave. She'd love to hop into Brittany's truck and burn rubber. But, she doesn't.
She grabs a red cup, fills it with soda and makes her way to the front yard because fresh air never hurt anybody. When she opens the door she is not really surprised to find it empty, except for some empty cups that other party goers had disposed of. It's a bit chillier than normal, but it only makes the air a little bit easier to take in.
As she sips her soda she listens in on the hoots and hollers coming from inside and she groans to herself. She is sure that high school parties in Knox are 'super fun', but there is something about a party with a dick for a host that leaves her wanting to stay home and watch Lifetime movies with Aunt Linda. Pulling out her phone from her jacket pocket, she flips it open and goes straight to her text messages. For a moment she contemplates sending and S.O.S. text to Quinn, but instantly decides against it.
There are so many reasons she cannot text her buddy to come save her from this self-induced hell. For starters, Brittany. She cannot just up and leave without telling Brittany, which would not be right. Also, she is quite certain that Quinn would not come cruising by Finn Hudson's house just to pick her ass up. Sure they are great friends, but Quinn has valid reasons for avoiding this party at all costs. Thinking about all of that Quinn-Finn drama, only makes Santana get angrier at the stupid boy inside that stupid house.
"There you are." Brittany's voice nearly sneaks up on her. She looks over her shoulder and smiles. The way the porch light shines behind her, it almost captures her personality and just everything about her.
"Yeah, you were having fun with your friends and I…" Santana looks into her cup and swirls her soda around. "I just needed some air." She lies. Air was not needed, space from Finn and his ginormous ego was. She looks forward and hears a soft sigh from behind her and then the gravel beneath Brittany's shoes as she takes seat beside her.
"But, you're all alone out here." Brittany points out that there is no one else in the front to Santana with a wave of her hand. Santana looks out to the empty and dark front yard and nods. "Are you gonna come back inside?"
"I don't know." Santana shrugs and sips her soda. She can tell Brittany is staring at her and it's not just because she can see it out of the corner of her eye, she can feel it. "I don't really fit in." She admits and her tone is almost defeated.
"Nobody fits in." Brittany responds straight forwardly and it gains Santana's attention quickly with a turn of her head. "It's high school." She says as if it explains everything. "Everyone here thinks they fit in 'cause they play football or are friends with cheerleaders but, half of these people are gonna graduate and go off and make friends with people they never imagined they would. I mean, look at Mike, Tina and Kurt." She offers as examples, though Santana isn't quite sure for which side of the coin. "The three of them are gonna get outta Knox and probably never look back. They'll stay in touch 'cause they didn't fit in here together." Her words come pouring out like a poem and Santana is sucked into her art. "I figure, we're stuck in high school for four years so we might as well make the best of it. Go to bad parties and make some memories." She grins and bumps her shoulder into Santana's, finally getting a small smirk.
"Brittany, you really are a genius." Santana says softly and Brittany bats her eyelashes before laughing at her.
"What do ya say we get outta here?" She offers her hand and nods to her truck just across the street. Santana looks over her shoulder at the closed door with the party on the other side that she is not at all missing.
"It's okay." Santana sighs and twists her lips. "You're friends are here and…" Brittany keeps her hand out and nudges it into Santana's.
"Come on, let's go make some memories." Brittany suggests with a wink.
That's all it takes for Santana to put her cup down and take Brittany's hand. They walk to her powder blue truck and drive away without another thought. Either way they are going to make memories, it doesn't really matter where they are. That reason alone makes them smile the whole ride home.
When Brittany reaches across the seat and grabs her hand, Santana forgets everything Finn said at the party and lets go of some insecurities, even if only for this one night. When she's with Brittany she doesn't care much about anything else. She's feels a bit foolish but she'd rather be a fool if it means that she gets to be a fool who's loved by the girl holding her hand as if it's the most important thing in the world to be doing in the moment.
It doesn't take Santana long to figure out that they are not on the road going home. She looks out the window trying to pick up on where they are headed and when she can't she glances over at Brittany and squeezes her hand. Brittany takes her eyes off of the road for a moment and smiles.
"Aren't we goin' the wrong way?" Santana asks and Brittany shakes her head, putting her eyes back to the road ahead of them.
"I wanna show you somethin'." She says. Santana doesn't question her or ask where, she just lets Brittany take her to wherever she wants to.
She's not really all that thrown when Brittany pulls into the parking lot of Pierce Parts and Tires. There weren't many other choices to go on. When the truck is off and the lights down, she can still see Brittany's childlike smile as they get out and head inside of the garage part of the building. Santana tries not to make a sound when Brittany grabs her hand and holds it. Because, when Brittany holds her hand she means it.
"This past year my dad brought me here a few weeks before my birthday. He said he had a surprise for me." Brittany starts to explain, Santana thinks, the reason for their late night visit to Pierce Parts and Tires as she leads them through the garage. "My mother had gotten me pearls, which I guess is nice 'cause pearls are pretty but they're…" She makes a face and Santana finds herself chuckling. "I mean, what seventeen year old asks for that?" She shrugs and so does Santana, because the only she got for her seventeenth birthday was a bottle from Puck, a pair of ridiculously expensive shoes from her father and a one night stand with a girl whose name she never got. "Anyway, after dinner and after my mom went back to the office, my dad brought me here." She brings them to a door in the back, smiles over her shoulder at Santana and tugs on her hand.
"What was this surprise? A new monkey suit?" Santana jokes and gets a small giggle from Brittany. She steps over a tiny step in the doorway, following Brittany closely into the room in the back of the garage that she never even knew existed. When Brittany flips on a switch, Santana realizes that the room is not a room but a smaller garage with what she can only assume is a car underneath a giant tarp.
"Very funny." Brittany pokes her side before letting go of Santana's hand and runs her fingers over the tarp as she walks around it. "He got me a 1957 Ford Thunderbird." She beams and Santana's eyebrows raise waiting for the amazing part to come up. Santana does not find cars as exciting as Brittany does, but she does find Brittany exciting especially when she is smiling the way she is. "It was a mess man." Brittany laughs, obviously remembering the day she first laid eyes on the car that has yet to be revealed. "The hubcaps were completely corroded and the engine was in the trunk in pieces. They weren't even all the original pieces, but bits from other Thunderbirds. The paint job…" She chuckles and shakes her head, finally looking back up at Santana whose eyes are still wide, waiting for the grand reveal. "I mean, there was no paint on it when I got it. It was that dry, grey metal. Just the body of the car really."
"Is this what you've been workin' on every late night you're here?" Santana asks as she takes a step forward and plays with the fabric of the tarp. Brittany shrugs and nods.
"A lot of people would've looked at her and saw junk. I get it, it's an old car with no paint and it's insides on the outside." Brittany explains and Santana giggles. "But, it's so beautiful to me 'cause I know what she was and what she could be again." Santana's smile softens and she watches the way Brittany walks around the car, still covered, and back to her. "I'm finished." She taps the tarp. "I finally finished and the first person I wanted to show was you. So, do you wanna see her?"
"Do I wanna see the other girl you've been spendin' all your time with? Of course I do." Santana jokes and bumps her shoulder to Brittany's.
That small little gesture makes those blue eyes sparkle fiercely and Brittany reaches her hand out to grab the tarp and with three tugs she has it off. When Santana finally pulls her eyes from Brittany's and turns to the car her jaw nearly hits the floor. Her eyes widen and she turns from Brittany to face the magnificence that is shining back at her. She glances at Brittany, but is almost too mesmerized by a car for the first time in her life.
"Britt…" Santana breathes out and walks closer to the car.
"I wasn't sure what color would look good on her." Brittany comments from behind her. "And then a few months ago, a girl shows up in my driveway and it dawned on me." Santana spins around with a perplexed look. "That day you came over to thank me for helping you get into your house, you had this black and red outfit on and I couldn't help but think how good the combo looked." Santana smiles.
"It's…" Santana's eyes are wide and she shakes her head in disbelief. "She's stunning." She whispers and gets closer until she can lean in and look at the inside.
"Go ahead." Brittany tells her. "You can get in."
"Oh, I don't know the rules." Santana says with a shrug and grabs the door handle. "Wasn't sure if I had to ask for permission to come aboard." Brittany giggles as she walks around to the driver's side.
"That's a boat." Brittany points out, amused by Santana's lack of knowledge on motors of transportation. She finds it adorable and oddly enough, kind of a turn on.
"Whatever." Santana playfully rolls her eyes before sliding onto the smooth red leather seat. "Brittany, this is insane. Does it run?"
"Pshh, of course she runs." Brittany waves her hand before letting her fingers slide over the steering wheel.
"So, let's go."
"She's more of a day car than a night car babe." She lets out and immediately feels the heat rush to her cheeks and she sucks in her lips. Santana's eyes are on her, she can feel them, but it takes her a couple of long seconds to turn and look at her. There's an arched eyebrow and a smirk on her lips, basically her resting face whenever it's just the two of them. "I…" She breathes out but nothing follows. No words anyway. What does follow is Santana sliding across the bench seat, closer to her until their sides are touching.
"I'm typically not one for pet names." Santana says in a soft voice, her eyes taking in Brittany's expression, her smile never wavering. "But, hearing them come out of your mouth?" She bites on her bottom lip and tilts her head. "Well, it's kinda sexy. In that, innocent sorta way." Brittany looks down bashfully and lets her hands fall to the bottom of the steering wheel before her right hand is stolen by Santana's left. "So, tell me how you built this beauty."
Brittany gets comfortable behind the wheel and starts to explain how she started putting this car back together. Santana rests her head comfortably against the back of the bench seat leaning her side into it so she can watch the way Brittany's face lights up as she tells her every detail. She could care less how this car was put back together, but the look in Brittany's eyes is so captivating and she hangs on every word that comes out of her mouth. She smiles when Brittany smiles and laughs when she laughs because both are infectious.
They talk into the night and into the early hours of the morning until the conversation turns into yawns and they lean comfortably into each other. Eventually 'just resting' their eyes winds up being them falling asleep in Brittany's fully restored 1957 Ford Thunderbird. Their hands fall to Brittany's lap, still clasped like they were when Santana had grabbed it to tell her how proud and impressed she was of her for making something so beautiful out of nothing.
Santana wakes up and notices the dirt from the road sweeping up around the car. At first her thoughts are of where she is headed, but, then her senses pick up the wind in her hair, hitting her gently in the face and she blinks hard a few times. She still has that early morning sleep in her and she lifts her head up from the door where she's been leaning only to realize that she is not in the usual mode of transportation she's gotten used to being in Knox City, Texas.
Instead, she notices the red interior and when she looks up she finds no roof. Her eyebrows furrow and she glances over to her left only to be engulfed by the beauty of golden blonde hair shining in the morning sun and smooth, porcelain skin. The corner of her mouth tugs up and she half smiles half smirks over in Brittany's direction. Brittany has her sunglasses on and is mouthing the words to a song that isn't even playing, a small smile dancing on her moving lips.
When Santana shifts in her seat, runs her fingers through her hair and clears her throat Brittany finally glances over with a turn of her head. Brittany lifts her sunglasses to the top of her head and hey make brief eye contact but the greeting of 'good morning' is there behind their shy smiles. Brittany's hands fidget on the steering wheel and she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth, and looks at Santana out of the corner of her eye.
"Where are we going?" Santana asks, leaning over slightly, her hands desperately trying to keep her hair from going rogue. Brittany's eyebrows knit together and she leans a little in Santana's direction, obviously having not heard what was said. "I said 'where are we going'?" She yells a little over the wind that is running through and around the open cabin of the car. Brittany's smile grows wider to the point that her teeth show and she removes one hand from the steering wheel bringing it up to the dark sunglasses and she looks over at Santana, handing her the shades.
"Anywhere but here." She tells her with an innocent and carefree attitude that Santana finds reminiscent of her younger self. She catches herself grinning back at Brittany, takes the sun glasses and places them on the top of her head to hold her hair back.
So, she takes the answer for what it is and leans her elbow on the door where the window is rolled all the way down and rests her head against her hand. She takes in the scenery but makes sure that every half of a second to glance over to her left, just to make sure this isn't a dream and then she breathes easily. But only for that half of a second after.
They drive for twenty minutes longer until Brittany pulls the car into an open field, parking it close to the trees that overlook the small town below. It looks a lot like Knox, but Santana figures that every town in Texas looks exactly the same from the top of a hill. She follows Brittany's lead when she gets out of the car and walks towards the front of it. They smile at one another and Santana comments that the car drives nice and smooth.
Brittany smiles and nods stepping forward to take Santana's hand in her own. She looks towards the trees and starts to lead them in their direction. Santana lets herself be led, listening to Brittany point out a bush of poison ivy that she had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting one time as a child when her grandfather had taken her to this very spot. When asked where they are going, Brittany looks over her shoulder with a smile and tells Santana that she'll tell her when they get there.
It seems the closer they get the more Brittany tugs on Santana's hand, leading her through the woods a little faster until they are jogging. Every now and again she looks over her shoulder to make sure the girl behind her is smiling; she is. She tells Santana to hurry up as she kicks her shoes from her feet as they move quickly over dirt, grass and leaves. The giggles from behind her only gas her up, causing her to move faster and faster between trees and bushes.
"Don't stop running until I tell you." Brittany calls out over her shoulder, her own smile threatening to burst her cheeks.
Santana doesn't ask any more questions, confident in Brittany and where she is bringing them. The trees and other greenery seem to vanish, yet they continue to run even though Santana can see that there is an end to the ground they are running on.
"Britt!" She squeals, but Brittany only squeezes her hand tighter in her own.
"You're gonna have to jump!" Brittany hollers, tossing a grin to the girl that is practically at her side now.
"But…" There's clear trepidation in her voice, but her body seems to follow Brittany's regardless.
"Just jump when I tell you, trust me." Brittany assures her as they come full speed to the end of the ground. "Jump!" She shouts excitedly.
And just like that, both girls are airborne, hands clasped together and smiles on their faces. Santana's free hand flails through the air, her eyes wide and mouth open as she gasps for air through her laughter and nerves. The water is there to catch them, but the rush of flying for those few seconds continues to course through their bodies. Santana is the first to rise to the surface, sputtering out water as she giggles. Brittany emerges within seconds, and she raises their still locked hands above the water in victory.
Brittany is in hysterics as she glances up to the edge of the earth they had jumped from, and gazes at it with a glimmer she's had since they were kids. Santana watches her for a few long seconds as her laughter subsides and a tiny, soft smile takes over. She wants to say something, but it hits her that words can't even describe everything flowing through her right now. So, instead of saying something she tugs on Brittany's hand to get her attention.
Brittany moves her gaze from above and to the girl beside her. Santana grins, and Brittany returns the expression, eyes only widening when the other girl pulls her close against her. Their bodies crash beneath the water, creating tiny waves and splashes in the process. Santana's free hand finds Brittany's waist, her shirt and shorts floating in different directions so the contact is skin on skin. Blue eyes search brown ones curiously, while long, slender legs move up and around jean clad tanned ones under the surface.
"What is it?" Brittany asks breathlessly, but Santana's fingers at her lips hush her from speaking further.
"Shh." She whispers out with a thoughtful look in her eye.
They stand there for a few moments, shoulders just above the water, Santana's fingers to Brittany's lips, the movement of their breathing and hearts beating hard causing the water to flutter around them. Cautiously, and so carefully, Santana tilts her head and leans forward, bringing her lips to Brittany's cheek.
It's a gentle kiss, a peck really, that lasts a little bit longer than a kiss there normally lasts. When she lets her lips slide from the Brittany's moist cheek, she lowers her head and rests her chin to Brittany's shoulder. Brittany grins and comfortably leans her head against Santana's. Their hands unwind, letting Brittany be able to wrap her arms around Santana's midsection and pulls her into a tight hug.
"That was so much fun." Santana exclaims, her voice low and soft in Brittany's ear.
They stay like that in the water for a little while, Santana's chin resting in the crook of Brittany's neck. The water gently dances around them as they spin slowly and sway simply enjoying each other's company and the feel of their bodies pressed closely together. It's different from the time at the lake by their houses. There's no playground like banter and joking around this time. It's sweet and romantic and quiet.
After a half hour of wading in the water, the two decide to head back to the car to dry and enjoy the view of Dalton. They laugh at how sopping wet their clothes are and wonder if they are going to be able to find their shoes that they haphazardly lost in the woods while running. Brittany's eyes linger on the way Santana's shirt, soaked from the lake, clings to her in the best ways possible. Santana rings out her hair and then flicks some of the excess water in Brittany's direction.
"Ugh, wet jeans are gross." Santana comments when the fabric starts to cool against her skin and stick to her thighs, not to mention they are riding up her crotch in a very uncomfortable way.
"You can always take 'em off and dry 'em on the car." Brittany points out, taking her own advice and takes her shirt off to ring some water out of it. Santana eyes her mostly naked torso and raises an eyebrow.
"If you want me naked all you have to do is ask. You don't need to use my wet clothes as an excuse." She says and they both chuckle with playful eye rolls.
They take their clothes off, leaving their bra and underwear on of course, and set them flat on the trunk of the car so the sun can dry them. Both Santana and Brittany take little peeks of the other's nearly naked bodies as they make their way to the front of the car. Brittany smirks and taps the front of the car, trying her best to keep her eyes on Santana's and not let them fall to the hot pink thong she's wearing.
Brittany sits on the hood of the car, back pressed up to the windshield and her legs stretched out and spread apart, the perfect place for Santana to fit against her body. Her legs bend at Santana's sides, arms wrap around her possessively, but she doesn't mind and also stakes her claim circling her arms around Santana's mid-section to keep her close. Brittany's chin rests comfortably on Santana's shoulder, their cheeks pressed together, their breathing even and their smiles so soft.
"Where'd you get this?" Santana asks quietly, her index finger running over a small scar just above Brittany's knee. The blonde glances down to the touch that part of her skin she can't feel and breathes out against Santana's neck.
"That tree, where our tire swing is," She begins to explain and Santana leans her cheek further into Brittany's, a sign that she has her utmost attention. "When I was thirteen my mom wanted to get rid of it, she said it made our road look trashy." A throaty chuckle escapes Santana's mouth and Brittany grins at the sound, enjoying the way the laugh shakes against her own chest causing her to giggle in reaction. "Well, I was not having that of course." She explains pointedly and Santana sucks in a deep breath then brings her hand from Brittany's knee to the pale hand splayed across her stomach and laces their fingers together. "I climbed the tree and wouldn't come down so my mom called Quinn to come over to get me out." Again, Santana laughs and squeezes Brittany's hand in her own a little tighter. "She brought candy to coax me from the tree and… I guess it worked." They both laugh out loud and for a few long seconds. "I couldn't get to that candy fast enough."
They settle into a comfortable silence after that, their hands never leaving each other and their bodies as if by another force, seemingly move closer together. Brittany lifts their hands up to eye level, turns them around from left to right as if inspecting them and Santana watches her manipulate the movements of her hand. She stretches out her own fingers against Santana's, causing her to do the same and turns her hand into Santana's until they're palm to palm and slowly runs her fingers down the inside of Santana's hand and runs them back up when she reaches her wrist.
It's soft, the pads of Brittany's fingers gently caressing her palm, her fingers and the inside of her wrist. She's mesmerized not only by the touches but at the pace of it all and how it is as though Brittany's is barely touching her at all but if her body is anything to go by, she is most definitely touching her. It makes her heart rate speed up, her breathing becomes uneven and her mouth feels dry. She licks her lips when she feels Brittany's come so close to her ear and she shivers at the breath hitting her there.
"Can I be yours?" Brittany whispers out and she juts her lower lip out just enough to graze Santana's ear lobe causing Santana's breath to hitch.
Santana swallows hard, she licks her lips again, top and bottom and drags the latter between her teeth as she adjusts in her spot and turns ever so carefully, just enough to look back at Brittany. Her eyes gaze into those blues and flicker down to lips that are slightly parted and daring to smirk before meeting Brittany's stare again. She brings her hand up to cup Brittany's cheek and rubs her thumb across the smooth skin and she grins.
"I kind of thought you already were." Santana half shrugs and lets out a sigh of relief that comes out sounding like a giggle. Brittany's lips finally break out into a smile and she nods. This time they both lick their lips before slowly leaning in to close the only gap left between them in a chaste kiss that soon turns deeper.
Santana turns her body around fully, her hands move to the sides of Brittany and rest against the glass of the windshield letting her body slip between her legs so she is hovering over her. Her lips move from Brittany's, down to her chin then over to her cheek where she makes a trail of soft wet kisses leading to her neck. Brittany tilts her head to the side to give Santana more access to work with, her hands becoming lost in the dark locks just below her eye level.
Brittany's hands come down to Santana's hips, her fingers playing with the thin fabric of the waistband of her thong. It makes Santana grin and giggle through her teeth quickly resting her forehead to Brittany's before leaning down to press their lips together, her hands coming up to grab at blonde hair.
Just as she tries to kiss down Brittany's body with the intentions of not stopping until resting directly between her legs, two fingers coming to her chin and lifting her head up does stop her. She looks up into blue eyes in confusion and she finds Brittany smiling sweetly back at her. She watches Brittany's throat visible move up and down, and gets caught up in the way she chews on her lower lip nervously.
"Is this not okay?" Santana asks with worry. Brittany's mouth opens to speak, but, nothing comes out and her eyes fall to her stomach. "I don't have to go down on you." She assures her and slowly begins to crawl back up, stopping when Brittany bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes tightly. "Britt?"
"I want you to." Brittany says and Santana smiles. "I do. I really do." Brittany opens her eyes and sees Santana nodding, getting ready to move back down between her legs. "And I want to go down on you too. But," She glances around the open space they are and the town just below. "Not here." Santana's smile fades and she finally looks at where they are and understands. It's the middle of the day and they are lying on top of the hood of a car. "Not like this."
"Yeah." Santana sighs and moves back up towards the windshield turning around to sit beside her. "You're right." Her lips twist into a smile of understanding, receiving a kiss on her shoulder from Brittany. "Besides, I've got a shift at two."
They both nod. Brittany had almost forgotten that there was still a world out there that they needed to get back to eventually. But, for now, she was going to enjoy her time alone with Santana where no one existed but them. She smiles at the way Santana casually holds her hand and starts making small talk about what she thinks the town of Dalton is doing at this very moment. Brittany doesn't care much about what everyone else is doing in the world right now though. All she cares about is the way Santana's hand in hers feels, because in her world, Santana is the only thing that matters most.
Terri walks into Holly's Daze, the bell on the door rings but it's so busy that no one pays mind to another customer. She look around and sees many familiar faces, only a few unfamiliar and her gaze finally falls to Brittany. Brittany is sitting in a booth against the wall with Quinn and Kurt. They are laughing and eating and sipping on their shakes as the rest of the world seems to be background noise.
"Take any free table." Santana says as she quickly passes by Terri.
Santana's carrying a tray of drinks to a table in the corner on the other side of the café. Terri watches as the girl sets cups down and tosses some straws into the middle of the table. The girl is smiling and Terri notes that it's a genuine and polite smile. The table laughs at whatever Santana has said and Terri grows curious.
She looks around and finds a table set for two by the window and only a few back from the booth Brittany and her friends are at. She places her bag on the back of her chair and slowly opens a menu set onto the paper place mat in front of her.
"Santana, order's up!" A voice calls out and a bell rings to the back of the café.
Terri sees Santana look over her shoulder and nod. When she's done with her table she rushes behind the counter, slaps the piece of paper with another order onto the kitchen window counter. Within seconds she's carrying a basket of fries over to the table that Brittany, Quinn and the Sherriff's son are sitting.
Santana places the basket in the middle of the table, but her hand lingers on it and she slowly slides it closer to Brittany. Terri sees the way Brittany's eyes watch Santana's face and how the corners of her mouth turn up just a little bit. Her blue eyes sparkle and her head tilts to the side. Santana is basically giving all of her attention to Brittany and vice versa.
Terri cannot hear the exchange between the two girls, but, by the way they look at each other Terri doesn't need to hear a word. Santana's head tilts and Brittany bats her eyelashes and bites her bottom lip. Kurt and Quinn are either oblivious or are just ignoring the two girls who are clearly in their own world.
"Hey there." Santana says and Terri lifts her gaze from the menu and finds the girl smiling back at her. She's a very pretty girl, there's no denying it.
"Uh, hello." Terri replies.
"Sorry about the wait. We get kinda busy on Saturdays." Santana explains and looks around at all of the people crowding up Holly's Daze to prove her point.
"Oh, it's alright." Terri waves her hand and chuckles slightly. "I'm not even sure what I'm getting' yet." She lies.
Terri Del Monaco always gets the same thing from Holly's Daze; a large salad with the dressing on the side and a barbeque bacon burger with cheese fries to go.
"I'll start with a diet soda though." Santana nods and jams her pen and pad back into her apron
Terri watches the girl walk back in the direction of Brittany's table and tap it with her finger tips as she passes by. Brittany smiles and she assumes Santana is smiling as well, even though she cannot see her face.
It only takes a minute or two before Santana returns with her diet soda, setting the straw down beside it carefully. They both smile and nod at one another and Santana tells her she'll give her some more time with the menu.
"I know what you're doin'." Brittany says, her voice low and tone annoyed. Terri looks up and smiles, staring back at the girl as if surprised to see her.
"Oh, hello Brittany." Terri tilts her head in a mocking way and it causes Brittany to cross her arms over her chest. "I didn't know you'd be here." She lies.
"What's my mom got you doin' now? Spyin' on me in plain sight?" Brittany counters, not wavering in her stance. Terri lets out a laugh that sounds like it's been practiced for situations like this. She waves her hand as if to tell Brittany she's a silly little girl and this is merely a coincidence.
"Just grabbin' some lunch." She explains, holding up the menu. Terri can tell by the look on Brittany's face that she doesn't buy it for one minute, but that doesn't mean she's about to come clean. "So, senior year, huh?" Terri changes the subject in the hopes of a more pleasant conversation. "I remember my senior year." She smiles, remembering her youth fondly. "I was prom queen and my boyfriend Will was my king. I'm sure you'll have no problem winning the title of Knox City High School prom queen for yourself this year." Brittany sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. "Your mother says you've got it in the bag."
"Hey, you two know each other?" Santana comes back over, accidentally interrupting the conversation. They both look at her and Terri is the only one sporting a wide eyed smile.
"This is Terri Del Monaco." Brittany motions with her hand towards Terri who holds out her hand and Santana awkwardly shakes it. "She works for my mother." Santana's hand stops shaking and she slowly pulls her hand away.
"Oh." Santana lets out and jams her hand into the pocket of her apron. "Neat."
"I was just tellin' Brittany here that she's a shoe in for prom queen this year." Terri announces as she reaches for her purse and pushes her chair back, smile not at all faltering. Santana glances at Brittany, confused as hell at this odd conversation. "You'll look so beautiful with Finn Hudson, captain and starting quarterback, on your arm that's for darn sure." She gets up and taps Brittany's shoulder in her most friendly manner. "Dear," She turns to Santana. "I just remembered I have a salad with all the fixins' back at the office and anythin' here will just ruin my diet. Gotta run." Without another word or a blink, Terri Del Monaco is walking out of Holly's Daze leaving Santana confused and Brittany annoyed.
"That was…" Santana shakes her head as she leans to the table and grabs the untouched diet soda. "Weird." She mumbles and walks away to bring the glass to the back. Brittany watches her walk away while she makes her way back to her own table.
"What the hell was that?" Quinn asks when Brittany returns to her seat.
"Oh," Brittany sighs and starts ripping a napkin apart. "Just my mother."
On the way back to the Mayor's office Terri takes her time. She wasn't exactly sent to Holly's by the Mayor, she was just told to keep her eyes peeled and her ear to the ground. So when she happened by the café and saw Brittany sitting inside, she figured she'd do some unplanned sleuthing. So, Brittany was half right because she was there to spy but it was on her own time.
"You're late." The Mayor greets Terri when she catches the woman trying to quietly sneak back to her desk. Terri's eyes widen, bag in hand and half way into her desk chair.
"Sorry Mayor Pierce, I was…" Terri's eyes flicker to the left, quickly, trying to think up something on the spot. "I ran into my old flame and we got to talkin'." She lies, but luckily by the expression the Mayor makes she buys it.
"How is old Will doin' these days?" She asks, yet Terri can tell by her tone that she doesn't at all care much of how her assistant's ex fiancé is doing.
"Oh, he's doin' great I 'spose." Terri hums out fondly remembering Will's charming smile. "He and Emma are still plannin' their wedding."
"They've been plannin' that for some time now. Sure, that'll never happen at the rate they plan." The Mayor comments with a laugh. "Consider yourself lucky to have gotten out when you did or you'd probably still only be engaged." Annie points out but her voice lacks sympathy and her words sort of sting. "That man can't commit to anything."
The Mayor is not just referring to the many woman he has been with over the years, but the fact that he left his hometown of Knox City to try and make it big on Broadway all the way up in New York City. He was gone for about a month before returning broke and alone. Rumor was that he had left with his then fling Holly Holiday, but there was never proof to that. Nevertheless, his personal life was only a dent in his inability to commit to things. After coming back home he changed his career from teaching Math to teaching Spanish at the high school which was far worse for the poor kids of Knox City.
"Well, I'm off to a meeting. Hold my calls." Mayor Pierce says as she walks out of her office and past Terri's desk. Terri nods, hums in response and smiles at her boss.
Sure, she could have told the Mayor that she was late because she had been trying to dig up some dirt on her own daughter and the girl next door. But, seeing the way the two girls acted around one another and how nice Santana had treated her during her short time spent at the café, Terri felt less inclined to share. The way Brittany looks at Santana and the way she makes the other girl smile is something that Terri herself has yet to come across in life and she's been living a lot longer than those two girls combined.
April's Rhodehouse is just as glittery and 1980's as it was the first time Santana stepped foot inside. Except, this time she is walking in on the arm of Brittany Pierce. It feels weird but in a good way and she kind of feels like royalty. It takes a lot in her not to give a very well-practiced princess wave to random people standing and dancing about.
As they scan the floor to find a nice spot on the dance floor for them to take as their own for the next couple of hours Kurt is stolen away by a boy with serious eyebrows and a nice smile. Quinn grins with a shake of her head and shrugs her shoulders. Santana watches Kurt be led across the room, his hand in the other boy's, and she can't help but smile herself.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that while she is simply a guest in the state of Texas, Kurt is a permanent resident. At April's he gets to be free and happy and not afraid. He gets to be himself. That thought only makes her cling tighter to Brittany's arm.
The song that's been playing since they arrived comes to a close and the familiar voice of April Rhodes comes over the speakers. Like last time, she greets her patrons with her sweet southern voice and welcomes everyone with love as she rolls up and down the dance floor on roller skates. The group laughs and is amazed at April's hosting ability as she skates backwards towards the stage at the back of the bar.
"Now me and my best pal Sandy are gonna be playin' our favorite tunes for ya'll tonight, so we hope you put on your dancin' shoes." April says into the mic and takes a seat at the edge of the stage and crosses her legs. A man comes up on stage behind her and smiles as he looks out into the crowd before pulling a microphone to his mouth.
"So get ready for an evening with Sandy and April's Infinite Playlist." Sandy tells the crowd who cheers.
"Hit it DJ." April points to the other end of the bar to where the DJ's booth is and a new song comes to flood the building and everyone instantly starts dancing like they were born to do just that.
Mike leans in and reminds Brittany of this song from when they were in dance together and even does some moves. Tina and Santana laugh when Brittany responds with some very Mike like pop and lock. It doesn't really go with the song but somehow Brittany makes it work. Clearly Mike is in the mood for some sort of dance off with Brittany as he is moving backwards and motioning for her to join him. Tina follows her boyfriend to the middle of the floor, hypnotized by his swaying hips. Brittany goes to grab Santana's hand to meet them, only there is a tug of hesitation from Santana.
"I think I'm gonna get a drink." Santana says loudly to be heard over the music and puts her hand to her throat. Santana smiles and nods when Brittany leans in closely, lips ghosting her ear, and asks her if she is going to dance with her tonight. She can feel Brittany smile because instantly there is a kiss pressed to her cheek.
It's pretty easy to get to the bar with everyone basically on the dance floor. Tonight's crowd is eating this whole 'infinite playlist' up like drug laced candy. Every few steps Santana glances over her shoulder to check out what kind of moves Mike and Brittany are busting out to try and top the other. By the end of the first track of April's life soundtrack, Santana finally gets her order to the bartender.
"Guess she's not as straight as you thought." Santana turns around at the familiar voice. It's Hope, the girl she went on a horrible date with that one time a few months ago. Honestly, Santana sort of forgot about her.
"Uhh," She looks over her shoulder to where Brittany is and smiles a little to herself before looking back at Hope. "No. Guess not." She shrugs and leans her forearms on the bar top.
"Should be pretty happy 'bout that." Hope sets Santana's drink onto a beverage napkin and takes the money from the bar. "Wouldn't stop talkin' 'bout her." Santana looks down at her drink, trying to remember the date she had with this girl.
Santana grabs her drink and walks back towards the dance floor. She catches Brittany's eye and they smile at each other. Brittany is still busy dancing a few feet away with Mike and Kurt and the boy with the eyebrows while Tina and Quinn are practically yelling into one another's ears right by their dance circle. The music is loud and awesome and Santana can't imagine being anywhere else other than at April's Rhodehouse with her friends.
Tina reaches out and grabs Santana by the arm and pulls her into the mini dance circle that she and Quinn have created and the three of them effortlessly move along to the music. It's different to the music she used to go out and get wasted to. It's different being at a club or a bar or anywhere really with other people and not being completely obliterated. But, as she dances from side to side with a beer in her hand beside her new friends and some old, she can't help but smile ridiculously.
She's smiling because Tina is trying to pull out some serious dance moves and Quinn is copying them but making them appear a bit more refined, like a ballerina trying to do hip hop, and she makes it work. She's smiling because Kurt is dancing next to a relatively cute boy who is staring at him like he wants to kiss him and she hopes he does. She's smiling because right now Brittany is staring at her as if she is the only other person in the place and all she wants to do is love her. But, more importantly, Santana's smiling because she is so in love with the girl staring back at her and she really likes the way love makes her feel.
A couple of songs later and some drinks for everyone, Quinn tugs on Santana's elbow and motions towards the front entrance. She motions with her head towards the door and yells over the music that she wants air. Santana nods and hands her drink to Brittany who takes it curiously.
"You're drunk." Santana laughs as Quinn stumbles a bit once they reach outside.
"I've never seen Brittany like this before." Quinn tells her. "She's happy. I mean, she's always pretty happy but, this…" She motions to Santana. "You ever 'splain somethin' to someone. Somethin' they haven't a clue 'bout?" Santana shrugs, a silly grin on her face. "And at first it's like… you're speakin' Spanish."
"I speak Spanish."
"No, just listen." Quinn hushes her. "At first they don't get it, what you're tryna' 'splain… and then… suddenly their face lights up and they finally get what you've been 'splainin to them for the past hour." Santana thinks about it for a moment and then nods. "That's the look Brittany has when she's around you. It's like boom…suddenly the world makes complete and total sense."
"I feel the same way." Santana comments after thinking about her friend's drunken philosophy. Quinn smirks and taps Santana's cheek with the tip of her finger.
"Everyone knows that." Quinn tells her with a laugh. Santana playfully rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "I think I need some water." She groans with a frown and it makes Santana chuckle at how quickly Quinn turned into that girl. With a quick step forward Santana grabs her friend's hand and leads her back inside to get some water.
The bar is packed and so is the dance floor, but Santana easily slips them between the crowd and gets them to the bar. Brittany sneaks up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and leans in to kiss her neck. Santana smiles and leans back into her body making Brittany hold her that much tighter. After down two glasses of water Quinn ventures back on the dance floor, telling them to follow her with a shout over her shoulder. Santana taps Brittany's hand on her stomach and the two turn to meet their friends who are still in their little dance circle.
It's nearly midnight when the gang decides to take off their dancing shoes and head home for the night. They part ways in the parking lot, Santana and Quinn having a heart to heart before Kurt has to physically shove his cousin into the back seat where she lies down and is passed out in seconds. As she heads back to Brittany's pick up Santana catches Kurt and the boy with the eyebrows talking quietly by Kurt's truck. She smiles to herself, happy that even if it's miles away from home, they can have their moments without people making judgments.
By the time Brittany pulls onto the South Service Road it starts to rain extremely hard. She puts her windshield wipers on the fastest speed which doesn't seem to help that much. They laugh because they have to basically crawl the rest of the way home only going about twenty miles per hour, if that. Santana shuffles a little closer on the bench seat and takes Brittany's free hand with her own. She clasps their hands and sets them on her lap as she looks out the passenger side window watching the rain come down in thick drops.
Brittany avoids the giant puddle in front of her house by driving around it and easily pulls into the Lopez driveway. She shuts the lights, not wanting them to shine into Miss Linda's home at such a late hour. She throws her truck into park, the thrum of the engine and the pounding of the night rain background noise.
"I had such a good time tonight." Brittany muses with a smile, watching the way Santana's fingers play with her own. "And you looked amazing. Still do." She leans into Santana and kisses her cheek. Santana turns her head and smiles before pressing a kiss to Brittany's lips. "I love you." Brittany whispers between their soft kisses. Santana sighs and pulls back, a tiny grin still on her mouth. She reaches up and brushes some blonde hair from Brittany's cheek and tucks it behind her ear, letting her thumb linger on her skin for a moment or several.
"You're beautiful." Santana says softly.
Sometimes, Brittany wonders if she was born with the ability to hear the words Santana doesn't speak. That perhaps, by the hand of fate, she is capable of understanding because the world gave her someone to love who from time to time forgets how to use words. And for that she is grateful. Because there are moments, sort of like this one, when words aren't needed or when other words can be used to substitute how someone truly feels.
Even when Santana doesn't say a word, Brittany understands. She knows when she rolls her eyes a certain way that just she's bored, not annoyed. Brittany has always been able to decipher the mysterious language spoken and not spoken by Santana. The most important piece of translating though, is giving Santana the time to figure out exactly what she is saying for herself.
And somehow, the words 'your beautiful' mixed with the sound of rain hitting the window means something else. It means 'I'll never let you go' and 'Please don't ever let me go'. It means 'tell me I mean something to you, not everything 'cause that's a lot, but that I'm something important' and it means 'you're better than any secret or song I have ever heard and better than anything I could have ever imagined'. But mostly, to Brittany, it all sounds like three words that for some reason or another Santana is far too afraid to actually say; 'I love you'.
But it's okay. Because even if she isn't saying those three not so little words, Brittany knows it to be true. She knows it's there underneath the softness of the way those other words slip from Santana's tongue and past her lips. It's the way she blinks as she speaks because it almost hurts how much she feels. As if blinking as she speaks makes the pain of her overloading emotions an easier pill to swallow. To Brittany, this difficult ease is more beautiful than hearing 'you're beautiful', probably because she's always been fluent in Santana.
Every time Santana says that, 'you're beautiful', all Brittany can think is that she means something else. Not entirely of course. She can see it in her eyes that she means what she says. But, it's the way she says it. It's how her voice sounds, sweet and shy, yet confident and sure.
A few days later Brittany sits in the Lopez house watching Santana fold her laundry. She sits on the bed as Santana separates her clothes before she begins her folding process. Santana explains to her how she does things a certain way to stay organized and all Brittany can think is that she should get better at that because her room is a mess.
"Hey, do you wanna go see a movie?" Brittany asks.
"Oh, umm, I don't know." Santana shrugs as she folds her clothes and places them into her dresser drawers. "Anything good out?" She asks sending a quick glance over her shoulder.
"They're playin' Dirty Dancing down at the old drive-in." Brittany replies and Santana hears the bed shift behind her. "Since they're plannin' on redoin' it they're showin' two dollars a car movies." Brittany explains.
"Ugh, I've seen that movie like five billion times." Santana grumbles. "Not that I would ever want to put Baby in the corner, I'm just sure I've had my She's like the Wind fill about five years ago." She chuckles as she lightly presses her clothes down and shuts the drawer. "Besides, I'm sure everyone from school is gonna be there and I for one am okay with not havin' to see them more than necessary." She stands up and grabs the laundry basket to carry back out to the laundry room. When she turns around she finds Brittany with a perplexed sort of look on her face. "What's wrong?" Santana asks wondering if she has somehow offended her friend. Brittany sucks in her lips and takes a deep breath. "Britt?"
"I've never done this before." She laughs at herself and rubs her palm to her forehead before running her fingers gently through her blonde hair. Santana's eyebrows rise in confusion.
"Done what?" She wonders, clearly not on the same page as Brittany.
"Well, I mean, I wasn't just askin' to see a movie to see a movie." Brittany tells her but Santana still doesn't follow. "I guess, well, this is me askin' you out on a date." Santana's mouth opens and her eyes widen a bit making Brittany laugh and smile.
"Oh." Santana sighs out and she moves the basket from hand to hand. "Okay… umm…" She twists her lips and taps her toes on her bedroom floor. "A date date?" She asks and Brittany stares blankly at her. "Like, a real date?" A smirk forms on Brittany's lips.
"What's a fake date?" Brittany counters with a raised eyebrow. Santana sighs and lets out an awkward giggle as she shrugs her shoulders.
"I don't know." She mumbles and moves to hold the laundry basket in both hands. "The only dates I've ever been on are ones with no clothes." Brittany's eyes widen a bit and she tries to cover the smile of embarrassment that curls at the corners of her mouth. "I guess those don't count, huh?"
"Those are booty calls." They both giggle and shift in their respective spots. When Santana doesn't say anything, Brittany tilts her head and plays with her hands in her lap. "So, I mean, we can go just as…"
"No. I'm… I just…" Santana finally puts the laundry basket down and decides it's time to fix her hair. "I don't think I've ever been on a real date." She admits, a little surprised by this fact. "Actually, I've never been asked out on a real date."
"Well," Brittany smiles the smallest of hopeful smiles. "I've never asked someone out on a date before." She points out as if this suddenly makes them even. The way Santana's head nods side to side tells her it worked. "There seems to be a lot of stuff neither of us have done before. So, let's just do 'em together." Brittany says and Santana's eyebrows rise as she grins. "And that sounded more sexual than I meant it to sound."
"I hope that doesn't mean you're sayin' no sexual stuff." Santana skates around in a softer tone and puts on a pout and Brittany eases her with a smirk.
"I guess…" Brittany drawls out and Santana shrugs, letting out another awkward moment giggle. "I don't know. We'll see." She bites her bottom lip and studies Santana for a quick second. "You don't have any weird fetishes do you? 'Cause…"
"Not that I'm aware of." Santana jumps in before Brittany can list strange sexual desires. "Just your regular girl on girl." Brittany nods and sucks her lips in. "Why, do you?"
"I have this thing with my armpits." Brittany replies as she pushes herself up from the bed, her eyes fixed on Santana in a playful way. Santana's eyes widen and her eyebrows rise up to her hairline. Brittany laughs as she walks up to Santana and pokes the tip of her nose with her finger. "You're so easy." She shakes her head as the realization of Brittany's joke comes over Santana's features. "So, I was thinkin' Thursday." Brittany continues and moves over to Santana's desk and starts looking at the books on her desk.
"Thursday?" Santana asks with a shake of her head, still recovering from the idea of almost having a girl with an armpit fetish asking her out, though she's quite certain she wouldn't deny Brittany anything which sort of surprises her. Brittany looks over her shoulder and grins with one of Santana's English books in her hand.
"For our date." Brittany clarifies. "Movie starts at 7:30. I'll pick you up after dinner." She puts the book back down and turns on her heels, heading straight for the door where Santana is still standing. "I have homework to do, I'll talk to you later." She smiles and leans in to give Santana a quick peck on the lips leaving her no time to protest any part of the date she has so clearly already planned out.
Santana stands in her room, laundry basket at her feet and a fuzzy feeling in her chest. She bites her bottom lip, hiding a smile from only herself, and hums as she moves over to her bed and plops down. It's the first time she's ever been asked out on a proper date and the first time she's ever been excited for a movie in her life.
Santana is sitting on the top of the desk while Quinn sits in her usual chair with her textbook out and highlighter in her hand. They have been making small talk here and there but Quinn is mostly focused on her homework while Santana's interest is what is on the other side of the glass. She sits there on the desk, legs crossed at the knee with her hands, palms down, on the desk top as she leans back. Her head is tilted to the side and her eyes are dreamily staring across the garage at Brittany as she works feverishly on some car.
The more Brittany tugs and pulls and twists and turns whatever tool she is using, the more her muscles bulge and the more she sweats. Santana, with a small smile dancing on her lips, stares on intently when Brittany wipes her hands on some gross cloth that she unceremoniously tosses to the side and fixes her hair. But that's not all she does. When her hair is securely out of her face she grips the bottom of her dirty white t-shirt and pulls it up just high enough to wipe her face thus exposing her perfectly toned stomach.
Santana hums to herself at this sight and Quinn, who has been peeking up from her studies, catches the entire scene and arches an eyebrow. She can't help but smirk then snort a bit when Santana's mouth starts to move like she is whispering and then bites her bottom lip.
"Hmmm?" Santana's eyebrows rise and she turns to look at Quinn.
"Nothin'." Quinn giggles and shakes her head as she flips to the next page in her textbook. "You sure you didn't come here to oogle Brittany's goodies?"
"I don't oogle, Quinn." Santana defends and then glances back at Brittany through the glass. "I am simply admiring the art of mechanics." Quinn finds this even more humorous and Santana scoffs.
"More like admiring Brittany's abs." Quinn again arches on of her perfectly shaped eyebrows and points her pen in Brittany's direction.
"Exactly. The mechanics of her super fine physique." Santana whispers as she uncrosses and then crosses her legs. "How do you pay attention to homework while you're here?" Santana groans and flicks at Quinn's pen. "I'd never get anything done."
"That's because when Brittany's around, you are easily distracted." Quinn comments, highlighting a few lines in her book.
Before Santana can come up with a witty retort, the glass door from the garage to the office opens up and she turns around. It's Brittany and she has grease marks on her cheeks, sweat on her brow and a dirty rag in her hand. They smile at one another before Brittany turns her attention to Quinn behind the desk.
"Can you call Mr. Evans and tell him that his radiator is shot, he needs new suspension and he needs an oil change?" Brittany asks, her voice sounding frustrated and a bit tired. Quinn nods and reaches across the desk, grabbing a big yellow binder. "And remind him that it'll be way cheaper to go out and get a pre-owned car. My dad can give him a great deal at the dealership." Quinn hums a positive response and picks up the phone when she finds the number in the giant binder.
Santana looks away from what Quinn is doing, because it's boring, and turns back to Brittany who is most definitely not boring. Brittany leans in the doorway and wipes her hands on the rag that looks as though she has been using the same one for a week because it is that dirty. Santana jumps back onto the counter top and crosses her legs, expecting Brittany to tell her that they can head out in a little while.
"Looks like I gotta stay here a bit longer." Brittany's lips twist, obviously not all that happy to say this to Santana. "Ken forgot to take inventory and we have this engine that needs to get at least half way fixed by tomorrow." Santana pouts and Brittany shakes her head, grinning at how adorable she looks. "I can meet you guys in about," She glances up at the clock on the wall above the door that leads outside. "Two and a half hours. Give or take."
"Yeah, sure." Santana gives in with a shrug. "Quinn and I can use the time to bond." She smiles and peeks over her shoulder at Quinn who is still on the phone with Mr. Evans. "She's a little boring." Santana comments, picking up her friends highlighter to prove her point.
Brittany laughs with a shake of her head before she turns back into the garage. Santana watches her walk away, letting her eyes fall to her arm muscles and then to her ass. She sighs and tilts her head to the side when Brittany leans over the engine to get a better look at whatever it is she's looking for. Quinn rolls her eyes and flicks Santana's arm.
"Let's go before you start drooling onto the floor." Quinn says as she gets up from the chair and collects her books. "I'll leave without you." She calls over her shoulder when she gets to the door, knowing Santana has not yet hopped off of the desk to follow her.
The two decide to go hang out at Santana's house until Brittany can get away from the garage. Aunt Linda is happy to see Quinn in her house and makes it a point to put Santana on the spot for taking so long to invite the girl over. When Santana finally gets them away Aunt Linda only bothers them once with a plate of cookies that she just poured out of the box and two cans of room temperature soda.
"So, how've things been goin'?" Quinn wonders and Santana shrugs. "Do you guys just sit around and talk about how much you love each other?" She laughs and takes a seat in Santana's desk chair. Santana's eyes roll and she moves to sit on her bed. "Oh, you've been lookin' at U of T, huh?" Quinn asks as she picks up a brochure.
"Yeah." Santana replies without much excitement.
"Santana, what are you gonna do for the rest of your life?" Quinn jokes but Santana has seemed to fall into some kind of feelings abyss. "What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid." Santana admits as she lays down on her side, her arm tucked under her head and her eyes gazing off into the corner of her room.
"Of what?" Quinn asks, her chair spinning coming to a halt and she faces Santana. There's no reply at first, just a few blinks and a sigh, so Quinn remains silent. She figures her friend is simply coming up with the words to describe an uncharacteristic feeling.
"That I'm exactly what everyone thinks I am." Santana finally lets out with sadness in her tone.
"And what's that?" She knows all of the answers, but it's obvious to her that Santana needs to vent.
"A loser. A disappointment." Santana lists and Quinn bites the inside of her cheek. "I'm just… afraid."
"First off," Quinn cuts her off and waves her hand. "You're none of those things that you think you are."
"That's what Brittany says." Santana comments.
"Well, she's right so you should listen to her. She's kinda smart."
"And second?" Santana lifts her head from her arm a bit and for the first time looks over at Quinn.
"And second," Quinn takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I think you'd feel better if you told her how you feel." Santana looks away again and sets her head back down to her arm. She nibbles on her bottom lip for a few moments, clearly thinking. "At least tell me how you feel."
"I just wanna be with her." Santana seems to groan out in a long breath and it's as if the words or the thought or the keeping it inside is so agonizing. Quinn imagines it's the latter. "I wanna be around her all the time." She kicks her feet, adjusting her position ever so slightly and she clears her throat. "I know it sounds intense and nondescript, but, that's how I feel. I just want Brittany." She admits in a softer, much more vulnerable voice and Quinn is taken aback by it. "Every time I try to say the words, something else entirely comes out. It feels like… like, the words I wanna say don't hold a candle to how I feel and I guess that's why I can't say them."
"Kurt thinks she knows." Quinn chimes in with a shrug and sways side to side in the chair. Santana's head pops up from her arm and her eyes narrow to Quinn.
"What?" She spits out, but Quinn pays no mind to the look of horror and slight scowl she is receiving from Santana. "What does he know?"
"About how Brittany is head over heels in love with you and that you turn into a love sick, might I add drooling, puppy dog whenever she's around." Quinn explains, a small smile on her lips, and her tone overly pleasant. Santana on the other hand quickly moves into a sitting position, her hand leans on the bed and her brow furrows.
"You guys talk about me when I'm not around?" Santana asks, offended by such a thought.
"Of course we do." Quinn deadpans. "What do they talk about you in front of your face in Boston?"
"That's… I can't…" Santana stumbles over her words, her hand comes up to her forehead and she closes her eyes. "What else does Kurt think?"
"That you're not as scary as you think you are." Quinn grins widely and Santana's jaw dramatically drops. She flips her hair and moves to sit at the edge of her bed.
"I don't know what to be more upset about."
"Upset about what?" Brittany's voice pops into the room out of nowhere and she's standing right there in the doorway of Santana's bedroom as soon as the two turn and look.
Quinn chuckles as she spins around in the chair a few more times because she can hear Santana stammer, trying to come up with something on the spot. Brittany eyes the both of them curiously as she enters the room slowly.
"We were just talkin' 'bout the drive-in." Quinn jumps in and saves Santana from what appears to have been an almost meltdown. Brittany seems to beam at this and gives Santana a quick look as she takes a seat beside her on the bed. "Heard they're gonna test it out this Thursday, see how they do. If it brings a big enough crowd, they're gonna re-open it." She explains. "Kurt and I are goin' with Mike and Tina. Please come. He's tryin' to get us to dress up. Make it stop." She groans and throws her head back. "I never thought havin' a gay cousin would be so exhaustin'." She stops spinning and looks at Santana. "No offense." Santana shrugs and shakes her head letting her know that she is not at all offended by the statement.
"We were actually already plannin' on goin'." Brittany says and bumps her shoulder into Santana's.
"Thank God." Quinn sighs in relief, but tilts her head when she notices the small not so subtle looks her friends are giving each other.
"Yeah, so…" Santana drawls out, looking to Brittany to give an answer because she can't think of one. When Brittany only stares back at her, Santana takes initiative and reaches out for Brittany's hand. "Quinn knows. I hope you're not mad, I just… I need someone to talk to and I can't tell my aunt and Puck is God knows where, not that it matters 'cause he's a pervert anyway and…" Brittany and Quinn laugh. "What's so funny?"
"Who do you think I've been talkin' to? My mother?" Brittany continues to giggle and shakes her head.
"I can't even imagine her reaction if you did." Quinn's eyes goes wide just envisioning Mayor Pierce being a listening ear to her daughter's girl problems.
"Well, I'm gonna tell her." Brittany says after a few moments. "I just have to find the right moment."
"That's never." Santana chimes in and Quinn looks between the two of them, very certain she does not want to be a part of this conversation.
"After the drive-in we were gonna go to Carmel's." Quinn changes the topic and gets their attention almost immediately. "You guys should come with."
"Oh, uh…" Santana looks over to Brittany who smiles at her. "We were sort of gonna be goin' together." She says and Quinn stares, waiting for more information. "Like, just us."
"We're goin' on a date." Brittany clarifies and Quinn's eyebrows raise in surprise. "It's our first official date, so, we kinda want to be alone."
"OOhh, how romantic." Quinn coos and they both look away because they can feel the heat burning in their cheeks. "That's cute guys, really." She giggles trying to make them less awkward but it's of no use.
"Thanks." Santana sighs with a roll of her eyes.
"Well, on that note, I gotta get goin'." Quinn jumps up from her seat and grabs her bag. "I have a ton of homework to do."
"How do you still have homework? That's all you were doin' at the garage." Santana points out in confusion.
"Some of actually try in school." Quinn quips and heads to the door. "Catch ya later." And with a wave, she's gone.
Brittany and Santana catch each other's eye and they smile bashfully at one another. Santana is about to say something when Aunt Linda comes out of nowhere and interrupts her thoughts. She tells Brittany that Santana should be getting some school work done and that perhaps it's time for her to go home. Santana curses Quinn, she's sure she made a comment about leaving to do homework to her aunt and she is surely going to get her back for that.
"Well," Brittany pushes herself up from the bed. "So much for hangin' out." She shrugs.
"Yeah, right." Santana says following Brittany's lead and gets up from her bed too. "I guess, I'll talk to ya later then."
"Yeah." Brittany nods as she shoves her hands into her back pockets. Before she can turn to leave the room Santana takes a step forward and leans up to press a quick kiss to Brittany's lips.
"G'night Britt." Santana says with a sweet smile.
"Night Santana."
The entire time Brittany is getting ready for her date with Santana, all she can think about is what a date usually entails. She's watched enough movies to know that there is hand holding, cuddling and sometimes there's kissing. But, they aren't going to be in the comfort of Santana's bedroom or even her own. Fact of the matter was they aren't going to be alone.
In the Lopez house, Aunt Linda watches on suspiciously as her niece practically runs in and out of her room to the bathroom a few dozen times. Three of those times she was in different outfits. Linda tries her best not to be nosy, she's not the girl's mother after all, so she makes her way into the kitchen to get a snack. In the middle of putting the tea kettle on the stove top she hears some noise coming from down the hall.
"You okay in there?" Linda calls out. What she gets in response is a muffled grunt which she accepts as a 'yes' in teenager.
Santana stands in front of the mirror in her room. It's one of those full length ones that she basically had to beg Aunt Linda to get her. She looks herself over from top to bottom and even turns to the side and all the way around to get a good view of everything she has to offer. It's the first time Santana has ever been on a date before and she isn't about to fuck it up. Brittany was so sweet and cute when she asked her that she is nervous she'll ruin it.
Aunt Linda turns away from the cabinet when she hears the tell-tale clacking of Santana's shoes making their way down the hall and into the kitchen. She smiles at what she sees. Santana looks beautiful, as always of course. But even more so, she looks as nervous as ever and it is so endearing. Her hair is absolutely perfect, her makeup barely there yet flawless and her outfit is grown up but fitting for a teenage girl.
"Well, don't you look nice?" Aunt Linda grins and turns all the way around to get a full look at her niece.
"Really?" Santana asks, uncertain. "Is it too dressy? Or clubby?" She worries, her eyes glance down at her outfit as her hands trace over the fabric.
"Too dressy or clubby for what?" Linda wonders.
But before she gets an answer there is a knock at the front door and it catches both Lopez women's attention. Linda looks expectantly to Santana who is staring back at her with wide eyes. With a smirk and a giggle she goes over to get the door while Santana runs back into her bedroom probably for one last glance in the mirror.
Aunt Linda is not at all surprised to find Brittany standing on her porch looking a little more dressed up than usual. She smiles as she opens the screen door and tells her to come inside. Brittany nods and lets out a long breath as she steps over the threshold. Linda remembers being nervous about dates and this was clearly their first date and she thinks it is so sweet.
"You look so lovely tonight Brittany." Aunt Linda comments and smiles at the young girl who is as nervous looking as her niece. Brittany smiles politely back as she swings her hands back and forth at her sides until finally clasping them at her back.
"Thanks Miss Linda." Brittany replies and swallows, her throat feels a bit dry. The sound of Santana's heels catch her attention and she looks over just in time to catch her walk into the light. Her breath feels like it's been stolen right from her chest and her mouth hangs slightly open.
"Hey." Santana grins at Brittany's reaction to her all dolled up for their date. She too finds herself in awe at how beautiful Brittany looks and suddenly cannot think of anything else to say.
"Hi." Brittany lets out in a breath, her eyes shamelessly raking up and down Santana's entire body. "Ummm," She shakes her head back to reality when she hears Miss Linda clear her throat, she had completely forgotten they weren't alone. "We should probably get goin'." She motions over her shoulder towards the door, quickly averting her eyes to anywhere but at Santana because looking at her is making her cheeks burn.
"Have fun ladies." Aunt Linda calls out to them before she shuts the door. She watches from the bay window as Brittany opens the passenger side door for Santana and helps her in by the hand. Linda grins to herself and turns back to the kitchen where her tea kettle is whistling before Brittany even gets to the driver's side door.
When they pull into the drive-in movie theater just off the highway Santana takes a quick look around to find that it is just as she suspected. Most of the drive-in's crowd is that of Knox City High School. Brittany shuts the engine off and reaches over to open the glove compartment to reveal a hand radio. She sets it up right up on the dashboard, turns it on and switches the dials until she lands on the right one.
"The radio in my truck has been wonky." Brittany explains the hand radio. "This way, we don't miss a thing." Santana snorts and then clears her throat as if she hadn't just laughed through her nose.
"I could recite this movie in my sleep." Santana admits jokingly and it makes Brittany grin.
"Alright we have…" Brittany presses a button on her phone to check the time. "Fifteen minutes 'til show time. Treats?" She quirks an eyebrow.
"Yeah, we can get whatever you want." Santana nods and goes into her purse. "Here, you paid to get in."
"It was two dollars."
"Still, let me…"
"Santana, I am the one who asked you out. Please, it's my pleasure." Brittany says as she pushes her door open. "I'll be back in five. Snacks in hand."
"Okay, I'll just wait here and look pretty."
"You're beautiful." Brittany corrects before she shuts the door and vanishes among the sea of cars and townsfolk.
Brittany gets on line and it's only about ten people deep. She looks around as she waits, trying to see how many people from her grade are here for the first drive-in movie in years. There are a few people from a couple of her classes that she spots, but, for the most part it's a lot of people around her parents' age. Brittany figures there aren't a lot of kids her age who can appreciate outdoor cinema. Just as she is turning her attention back to see if the line has moved, a hand grabs her elbow.
"How's the date goin'?" Brittany knows who the voice belongs to and she is sort of comforted by it. She turns around and finds that she is right and smiles at Quinn who is grinning back at her like a proud mama bear.
"She's nervous." Brittany grins and shakes her head.
"And you?" Quinn wonders.
"So am I." Brittany admits. "I've never been on a date," She whispers. "With someone I actually like." Quinn can understand this and nods. Brittany looks at her, like finally looks at her and then over her shoulder to where Kurt, Tina and Mike are standing which is just outside of Kurt's truck. "Guess Kurt is the only one who dressed up, huh?" Quinn laughs and looks over her shoulder to where her cousin is, decked out in his best Johnny gear.
"Yeah." She says slowly, turning back to Brittany and the move up in the line. "That boy he met at April's is supposed to be meeting us. They planned their get ups accordingly."
"Is he dressin' up as Baby?" Brittany deadpans.
"Who knows?" Quinn shrugs. "That'd be a little weird, but, to each their own, huh?" Brittany nods and they move up some more. "Santana told me about Finn's party. Kinda fucked her up." Quinn makes a face of regret when she sees how confused Brittany looks. "And she didn't tell you about that."
"Nope." Brittany lets out as they take another step towards the snack counter. "What happened? I mean, I found her sittin' outside by herself at the party, but she didn't say anythin'." Quinn shifts uncomfortably in her spot and her eyes cast down to her feet as she does so.
"I probably shouldn't tell you then, but…"
"But you will."
"He said that he knows Santana has a thing for you and that you weren't the 'd' word so she should back off." Quinn summarizes the events of that night. Brittany's brow furrows and her mouths opens as she takes in the information.
"What's the 'd' word?" She innocently asks. Quinn glances around and steps a bit closer to Brittany so she can whisper the answer to her.
"Dyke."
Brittany's eyes widen. Not in surprise or shock that Quinn has just said 'dyke', but that someone used the word in such a derogatory way and claiming something about herself without her say so. More so, she is pretty peeved that it was Finn who said the word. Brittany knows exactly who she is and she doesn't need someone else labeling her, especially in mean way to make themselves feel better.
"Look, I probably shouldn't have even told you this and especially not on your date night." Quinn shakes her head at herself and places her hand on Brittany's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't let this spoil your night. Set it aside and deal with it at another time. Santana will never forgive me for ruining this for you guys." She begs.
As much as Brittany would like to storm over to Finn's ugly electric blue, oversized pickup truck she spotted on the way in, she decides that Quinn is right. She'd love to put him in his place and tell her exactly what she thinks of him. But she'll save that for another day, because tonight is all about her and Santana and their first date. So, she nods and gives Quinn a small smile, letting her know that mums the word until it's absolutely necessary.
"Awesome." Quinn faux cheers and they take a step forward so that they are next on line. "So, what're we gettin'?"
Two tubs of popcorn and a few random candies later, Quinn and Brittany part ways and head back to their respective trucks.
"You still like Twizzlers and Kit-Kats right?" Brittany asks when she opens the door, startling Santana who had been checking her makeup for the seventh time since Brittany left.
"Yes." She smiles and flips the visor back up. "Here, let me help you." She holds her hands out and takes the tub of popcorn and soda so that Brittany can maneuver herself back into the truck without spilling or dropping anything. "Britt, did you buy one of everythin'?" Santana laughs when she takes stock of all the goodies Brittany has brought back. Brittany grins and looks at all the candy in her hands.
"I just wanted to be sure to get everythin' you liked." She replies innocently. Santana can't help but smile, her head tilts to the side and she looks at Brittany sweetly. Their attention is stolen by the hand radio on the dashboard, signaling to them that the movie is about to start. "Here."
Brittany leans across and pops open the glove compartment once more, pulling out a portable cup holder which she sets up. She grabs the soda from Santana's hand and places it into the cup holder. Then she grabs the candy from her lap and moves closer to the middle of the bench, closer to Santana, and sets all the candy down to the seat on the left of her. She smiles at Santana as she grabs the popcorn from her with her left hand and holds it between them.
"You know," Brittany says as she grabs a handful of popcorn. "You really do look beautiful tonight." Santana can feel the heat in her cheeks and she grins.
"Thank you." It's all Santana can come up with while she unceremoniously and so obviously, she shuffles closer to Brittany, acting like she's getting closer for the popcorn that she grabs.
"Is it…" Brittany starts as the beginning credits starts coming onto the screen. "Can I hold your hand?" She asks, slowly turning her head to Santana who is shaking her head.
"You don't even have to ask." She replies as she reaches out and grabs Brittany's right hand. "I should be askin' you. I mean," Santana looks out her passenger side window to where she knows a few Knox City High School students are parked. "Everyone knows I'm a lesbian. No one knows that you're… well, you." They look at one another, both taking in the weight of the statement.
"No." Brittany breathes out with a smile. "They think they do, but," She squeezes Santana's hand a little bit tighter. "No one knows me. Not as well as you do." After a long moment of staring, Brittany lets out a nervous laugh and looks towards the screen where the Houseman family is getting comfy at their summer retreat. "I mean, they think 'cause I'm Brittany Pierce it means they know exactly who I am."
"You mean like that woman from Holly's the other day? The one who works for your mother." Santana points out and Brittany shrugs. "She said somethin' about you being prom queen."
"Yeah." Brittany drawls out and looks down at their clasped hands.
"Is that, like, a done deal?" Santana wonders as she grabs some popcorn and pops it into her mouth. "I mean, is it legit or was she blowin' smoke?"
"It's legit." Brittany mumbles. She feels weird talking about being nominated and always has.
"That's awesome." Santana beams. "So, how does it feel? I mean, in every romantic comedy and basically every teen soap opera, there's always a girl who wants to be prom queen. I mean, not me. But that's 'cause I'm a juvenile delinquent." She finally laughs when Brittany grins at her bashfully.
"Oh, it's magical." Brittany jokes and rolls her eyes at herself. She shakes her head and adjust the tub of popcorn on her knee. "It's silly. I feel silly." They both glance at the screen when the scene of Baby carrying the watermelon comes on and they smirk at the 'I carried a watermelon' line.
"Why do you feel silly?" Santana asks, peeling her eyes from the screen and back at Brittany.
"I've been homecoming queen and spring fling queen and every other queen since sophomore year." She explains and only bows her head when she realizes how incredibly conceited she sounds.
"You're so modest." Santana lightens the mood with her sweet tone. Brittany knows she's only making fun and not being a bitch.
"No, it's… it's just funny to me because, obviously people know who I am. But, no one really knows who I am. They just see me as Brittany Pierce, captain of the cheerleading squad and most popular girl in school. People see me, but they don't."
"I wish I understood what you were sayin', but, if it's any consolation… I see you." Santana shifts a little bit closer, so that she is pressed lightly into Brittany side and she sets their clasped hands into her lap. "Ooh." Santana perks up when she glances at the screen. "This is one of my favorite parts." She points with her free hand. Brittany smiles and looks at the Santana's face as she watches one of her favorite scenes play out on a big outdoor screen.
It's the scene where Johnny and Baby first dance. It's dirty, hence the movie title, and hot and because they know the ending, it's also cute. It reminds her a bit of the time she danced with Santana in the garage over a month ago. They danced and Brittany finally made her move and kissed Santana. She wonders if watching this made Santana think about that night too.
About halfway through the movie their hands come unclasped as they dig into the candy that Brittany had bought. Brittany looks around at the other cars, taking notice of the few that have fogged up window. She can only imagine what is going on inside the cabins of those trucks and wonders if it's going to happen in the one she is sitting in. She'd give anything for Santana to lean over and press a sweet tasting kiss to her lips.
Music comes on and the two characters start talking. Brittany's focus is brought back to the screen instantly. She hears Santana take in a deep breath and blow it out slowly and quietly, it makes her wonder if she is thinking the same thing. Brittany side eyes her and spots her move her arm from between them, wipe her hand on her skirt roughly and then crack her knuckles. She shakes her head figuring that maybe Santana was just itching to see this movie over already.
It isn't until she feels more movement beside her that she kind of understands the strange fidgety motions Santana was doing. She feels the tub of popcorn being pulled from her hand and turns to see Santana put it between her and the passenger side door, out of the way, no more barriers. Brittany looks away from the window and to Santana's eyes that she can see sparkle from the light on the screen. Santana smirks and leans close to Brittany so that her mouth is just grazing her earlobe and lacing their fingers together again.
"I forgot how much I loved this movie." Santana whispers into Brittany's ear, her lips grazing her cheek a little bit longer than necessary.
Brittany turns her head before Santana can lean all the way back and leans in just in time to catch her lips. Santana is instantly drawn in and hums into the kiss. Brittany lifts her left hand to Santana's cheek, a move to deepen the kiss only Santana covers it and pulls back. Her eyes open and are desperately searching beautiful browns. She can see there is uncertainty in them.
"Nobody is watchin' us." Brittany assures her, giving a quick look out her side of the truck to the few other cars and trucks around them. "They're watchin' Baby and Johnny or they're…" She shifts closer and grabs Santana's hand. "Or they're doin'..." Santana looks out the passenger side window and notices that most of the trucks and cars around them have fogged up windows or filled with people actually watching the movie. She turns back to Brittany and looks down at the small space between them as she caresses the hand on her cheek. "Let's watch the movie. I just wanna be here with you." Brittany shrugs and leans her forehead to Santana's.
"I know." Santana nods, their foreheads rubbing against each other as she does so. "I just…" She pulls back, her hand still covering Brittany's. "I really like you, and… I don't wanna mess any of this up." Santana admits in a quiet voice. Brittany's smile fades and she dips her head to catch Santana's eye.
"Sweetie," She coos and the term makes Santana smile. "There ain't nothin' you could do to mess anythin' up." She presses a firm kiss to Santana's forehead.
"It's… I mean the last thing you need is for someone to open their big mouths and tell your mother before you're ready." Santana explains.
"Santana," She shakes her head and smiles. "I wasn't suggestin' that we get naked and fog up the windows. I mean, that would be super-hot and I wouldn't be opposed to it. But, we're on a date and I wanted to kiss you. All that… I'm not thinkin' about that stuff. Right now, all I care about is if you're havin' a good time with me." Santana can tell by the twinkle in Brittany's eyes that she is being sincere and it melts her heart. "So, are you havin' a good time?" Brittany asks, finally letting her hand falls from Santana's cheek and brings it to her lap.
"I am." Santana smiles.
When it becomes apparent that they are both on the same page, they shift their focus back to the movie, holding hands and reciting almost every line. They go through some, nearly most, of the candy that Brittany had brought back and finished up the popcorn before the movie was even halfway through. Santana cringed, just as she warned Brittany she would, when She's like the Wind came over the radio.
It was hard to explain her dislike for the song, but Brittany couldn't really fight it as she too was not a huge fan of the track either. They laughed, surprised that not every Dirty Dancing fan hates that Patrick Swayze song as much as them. Santana offers the straw to their shared soda to Brittany after she sips from it and Brittany accepts almost instantly. She wasn't even thirsty, she just wanted Santana's lips on hers.
The girls don't stick around when the credits come up and decide to head back home, taking the long way to extend their date a little more. They continue to quote the movie they know by heart and imagine up a sequel where Penny is the lead because other than Patrick Swayze himself, she was the best dancer in the movie. Brittany tells Santana that Dirty Dancing was a big reason she got interested in dancing. Of course she was so little when she first saw it so to her younger self, it was strictly a dancing movie and not a romantic movie. Before they know it, Brittany's truck is in the Lopez driveway and they are sitting quietly, still holding hands.
"Don't fight me on this." Brittany says with a squeeze of her hand and opens her driver's side door. She slips out of the truck and tugs on Santana's hand for her to follow. "Come on, I won't bite." She waves for her to slide down the bench seat and come out through the driver's side. Brittany walks Santana up to her door, their hands casually swinging between them as they make their way up the porch.
"I had a great time tonight." Santana says when they finally reach the door. "You didn't have to walk me to the door." She laughs and looks down at their hands.
"Comes with the territory of a date." Brittany explains with a wink. "As do other things." She adds as an afterthought.
"Oh?" Santana tilts her head.
"Typically, the night comes to a close with a kiss."
"Right. I've read about that part." Santana nods and shivers, but not from the cold. "Too bad it's a school night." She comments. "I'd ask you in, but my roommate is overbearing." She laughs.
"Yeah. School." Brittany smirks and looks to the front door. "Well, I should get goin'." She motions towards the direction of her house or her truck, she's not really sure. Santana steps that little bit closer until there is no longer any room between them. Brittany looks down, only a few inches, just enough so that she can send a quick glance towards Santana's mouth.
"Thank you for a lovely evening Miss Pierce." Santana whispers, leaning her chin up ever so slightly. Brittany grins, lowering her chin a bit.
"Thank you Miss Lopez, for goin' out with me." Brittany says in the same soft voice.
Then just like that, their lips finally meet. It's gentle and sweet and a little bit longer than a quick peck. Their mouths open enough for their tongues to say 'hello'. It lasts about thirty seconds and when they pull apart they are grinning widely back at one another.
"Goodnight." Santana breathes out.
"Goodnight." Brittany says and finally forces herself to move from the Lopez porch, thus pulling her hand from Santana's.
After watching Brittany's truck pull out of the driveway, Santana makes her way inside the house to find her Aunt Linda sitting in the living room watching some awful reality television. She tries to swiftly make her way down to her room but is stopped by the sound of her aunt's voice.
"Santana." Linda calls out, promptly shutting the television off and is suddenly in the hallway. "How was it?"
"Good. I mean, it was Dirty Dancing. I've seen if before, so…" Santana shrugs and goes to turn the other way.
"I meant…" Linda inches her way further into the hallway and Santana eyes her up as she tugs onto the strap of her purse. "How was your date?" Santana's brow furrows and her jaw drops.
"How'd you…?"
"How'd I know? Please. I'd have to be blind not to know that you and Brittany have been actin' like two little lovebirds. Besides, I saw you two kissing out in her truck a few weeks ago." Aunt Linda waves her hand and turns to head into the kitchen to look at the time on the stove. "Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight." She pats Santana's shoulder and walks her way down the hall, makes a left into her bedroom and closes the door.
Santana is stunned to say the least, but more than that she's elated. She never dreamed she'd have someone who would be interested in how her night out with a girl went, at least not in her family. It's hard for her not to smile at Aunt Linda's asking her how her date with Brittany went. It went fairly well, she thought, but the coming home and having her aunt waiting up for her and wondering about her evening made it even better.
Walking into school on Monday morning, to Santana, feels like cupid threw up everywhere. There are purple, pink and red streamers hung from the ceilings, corner to corner and locker to locker. Paper hearts cut out from construction paper and banners are posted all over the walls demanding people to pick their Valentine. She didn't forget about Valentine's Day, she's just never had a reason to celebrate it. Also, she doesn't believe in a day that promotes overpriced chocolates, flowers and ugly jewelry.
Brittany is a few feet behind her, having got caught up in a conversation with the Spirit Squad captain about the decorations. She's sort of thankful for someone to distract Brittany from the fact.
"Great." Santana mutters to herself as she bypasses a sophomore couple who are basically groping each other against the lockers across from hers.
"Okay, so," Brittany comes up to her out of nowhere, Santana smirks thinking that she was finally able to pry that Spirit Squad nerd away from her. "I know we didn't really discuss it, but, I was thinkin' that after school we could drive to Dalton. We can go to the museum and then have a picnic right outside." Brittany suggests quietly and leans her back to Santana's locker.
"Don't you have cheer practice?" Santana asks, changing the subject as she digs into her bag for her books.
"Coach Sue always goes on vacation the week of Valentine's Day." Brittany says with a shrug. "I think she has a secret rendezvous with someone, everyone else thinks it's 'cause she hates this holiday."
"Well, I'm workin', so…" Santana turns the dial on her locker and Brittany shifts off of the door so that she can open it.
"Right." Brittany's chin lowers to her chest and she looks down at her cheer shoes. "I'm sure Holly's will be super busy." She smiles over at Santana who nods and grabs the books she needs for this morning. "You'll make good money."
"That's the plan." Santana winks, but takes notice to the crestfallen look on Brittany's face.
"I should have brought it up earlier." Brittany shakes her head at herself, but still manages to put on a smile for Santana. "I better get to my locker before the warning bell. See ya later." She pushes herself from the lockers and lets her fingers graze Santana's arm as she walks by.
"Happy Valentine's Day." Quinn comes from the other side of Santana and holds out her hand that has a few of those candy hearts with the words on them. Santana huffs, shuts her locker and grabs to heart candies. "Oh, so you love this holiday as much as I do." She laughs as they make their way down the hall to first period.
"It's not a holiday." Santana points out.
"Who peed in your Cheerios?"
"I've never actually celebrated Valentine's Day, 'cause I never really had a…"
"Girlfriend." Quinn adds and gets a look.
"Someone I wanted to share a fake special day with. And Brittany was just talkin' about going to Dalton and a picnic and all this cute stuff, lookin' at me with those eyes but I have work and I think she's upset." Santana rambles.
"I see. So, what I'm hearin' is that you forgot it was Valentine's Day and now Brittany is a sad panda." Quinn summarizes and Santana nods. "Way to go cupid."
"What am I supposed to do then?" Santana wonders, adjusting the strap of her purse on her shoulder and shifts the books in her arms. "It's not like I can do much of anything. We go to school at Anti-Homo High. If I show up with a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates and a 'be mine' teddy bear in her study hall, can you imagine how harassed she'll get?" She groans. They walk into the classroom and towards the back where their seats are.
"She planned a Valentine's Day date, I don't think she cares much about how people will react." Quinn points out.
"It's just another stupid day." Santana sighs as she slips into her desk chair.
"So, then stop stressin'." Quinn tells her just before the teacher starts her lecture without even greeting the class.
The entire day Santana watches couples exchange gifts, boyfriends surprising their girlfriends with flowers and candies and stupid fluffy stuffed animals. She'd want to throw up everywhere but instead she feels awful for not even thinking that Brittany would want to share this 'special' day with her in the way everyone else is sharing it. During sixth period she rolls her eyes when Mike Chang comes walking in with a heart shaped box of chocolates and a heart shaped balloon.
Santana could not be more excited to get out of school at the bell. She rushes to her locker like it's the first day of summer vacation, only to realize that she has to wait for Brittany anyway. After gathering her books and other belongings she leans against her locker until Brittany gets there. The kids across from her locker are back to making out in a disgusting fashion, but in a weird way, she's kind of jealous.
Luckily Brittany doesn't take long to get to her locker. It makes Santana wonder if Brittany too had some trouble getting through the entire school day without having her special someone do something special for her. All the way to the front doors of the school, Santana thinks of things that she could possibly say to make up for the fact that she isn't exactly the best at showing her feelings. But rather than say something to fix it, or even to break the silence between them as they walk through the halls, she keeps quiet.
When they walk out of school they are both surprised to find that the bed of Brittany's truck is decorated with a big white teddy bear, a bouquet of flowers and one of those oversized chocolate heart boxes. Brittany stares at it curiously while Santana watches on, pained. She knows who put those there and it pisses her off. The closer they get the more Valentine's Day paraphernalia they pick up on and see that attached to the teddy bear is a pink envelope with Brittany's name written on it in chicken scratch.
It's a cheesy Valentine's Day card and it's signed by none other than Finn Hudson. Brittany sighs and looks around to find the boy who can't seem to get a clue, but, he's nowhere to be found. Santana silently makes her way into the truck wishing she hadn't accepted Brittany's offer to drive her to work. She waits for Brittany who wrestles with the giant teddy bear in the bed of the truck trying to get it to lie flat down.
As they drive down Charles, Brittany catches a few of the kids in her school that are well known for smoking pot under the bleachers. Santana had admitted to her that she had a 'moment of weakness' and smoked with some kid with red hair and a dirty hat. She glances over at Santana who is rummaging through her purse in search of something.
"I've been curious." Brittany starts and Santana gives her a quick look before she turns her attention back to her purse that she's been digging through. "You've told me a bunch of stories 'bout goin' out and causin' chaos and whatever with that kid."
"Puck." Santana reminds her of the boy's name from back home that she'd spent most of her adolescence with. Brittany nods and sucks in her lips as she adjusts her grip on the steering wheel.
"Yeah." Brittany drawls out and tucks some hair that fell from her ponytail behind her ear then taps the steering wheel with her fingertips. "Do you miss it?" She asks with an innocent tone and tilts her head.
"Miss what?"
"Drugs, chaos… Puck." Santana's head jerks back and up away from the inside of her bag and she sends Brittany a questioning stare.
"What?" Santana laughs and sits up straight, leans her forearm onto the rest on the passenger side door. Brittany shrugs and slides her hands down the steering wheel.
"All your stories from Boston start and end with you bein' 'totally wasted' or 'wicked fucked up'…" Santana smirks as Brittany imitates her accent.
"Why Miss Brittany Pierce, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Santana jokes and raises an eyebrow. Brittany playfully rolls her eyes and grins.
"Come on." Brittany says and gives Santana a pointed look to let her know that this cute act of deflection is not going to work with her. Santana closes the refrigerator door and sighs.
"It's not like I was an addict." She explains as she crosses her arms over her chest and leans against the counter so she is facing Brittany. "It was purely recreational."
"So, you didn't do it a lot then?" Brittany wonders and Santana's lips twists as she contemplates what 'a lot' means to other people.
"I did." She admits quietly and runs her fingers through her hair. "But, it's not like I wake up itchin' for it." She quickly adds and brings her fingers to her lips giving them a few light taps as she watches Brittany take in her words. "I think that when I did those things, it was 'cause I was tryna make myself feel better." She begins to explain. "In Boston, every day was the same. My mom's a drunk, school's a bore, my dad's a stranger and…" She looks down at the way her fingers twist the knob on the silverware drawer. "It's easy to forget about all that stuff when there's no thinkin' goin' on. Drinkin' made it numb and the pills made me smile in spite of it." Her eyes flicker up to meet Brittany's that are fixed on her.
"And now?" Brittany challenges because they both know that, although in another state miles away from home, Santana's problems are still very much present.
Santana lifts her head, uncrosses her arms and nibbles on her bottom lip. For a moment she glances to passenger side window because Brittany's blue eyes can be so intrusive. It doesn't last long and soon enough she's searching for those eyes that seek out answers that she is too scared to admit to.
"I have you." Santana tells her softly and shrugs a shoulder. "Somehow you make me say things that sound like something out of a Lifetime movie." Santana says and shakes her head as if the movement will cool her burning cheeks.
"I don't make you say anythin'." Brittany replies, a sweet smile on her lips.
"And then you say things like that." Santana counters.
"'Cause you say things." Brittany points out. "You don't give yourself enough credit." She adds and Santana tilts her head with a confused smile. "You can be very cute all on your own." She winks before pulling her truck to the curb outside of Holly's Daze. "Wow, looks busy already." Santana glances over at the café and notices that there is already a decent crowd for a Tuesday.
"Hey," Santana says when Brittany cuts the engine. "My aunt is goin' out of town Friday night." She's looking down at her hands that are in her lap, nervously twiddling her fingers. "I was thinkin', well, I mean if you wanna…" Santana looks up from her hands and to Brittany who is already looking back at her with a smile on her lips.
"Santana," Brittany shuffles on the bench seat closer to Santana and drapes her arm over her shoulders. "You tryna ask me out on a date?" Santana grins and shrugs her shoulders, letting herself lean into Brittany's warm body.
"Maybe."
"I'd love to."
"I didn't even ask."
"You don't have to."
"Well, I'm workin' that night at the café and I know you have to be at the shop." Santana points out.
"I'll cut out early and meet you here." Brittany assures her with a smile.
"Cool." Santana nods, turning her gaze to her bag that's in her lap.
"Cool." Brittany repeats.
Friday cannot come fast enough, but when it does, Brittany is fidgety all day wondering what Santana has in store for their date. Santana told her that Miss Linda was going away for the night and she assumes that the date is set for that night with the intention of ending back at Santana's. Well, at least she sort of hopes that's where it ends. They haven't had sex since their first time by the lake. Of course, they almost did last week on top of the Thunderbird and she most certainly wishes that she never stopped it from happening. But at the same time, she's happy to wait for their next time to be somewhere a little more intimate than on a towel in the woods.
Yet, as that thought crosses her mind, that day was so very intimate. Santana was so gentle with her and careful with every single one of her touches. She only hopes to reciprocate every feeling that Santana made her feel that day by the lake. She imagines ways to make her squirm and moan and beg for more.
It's pretty rough getting through the morning with all of these thoughts running through Brittany's mind. She manages to push them aside and focus on her work for at least half of a class but when lunch time comes and she's sitting across from Santana she becomes distracted. Her top is cut low and her shirt seems extra short today that it is becoming increasingly difficult for Brittany to concentrate on anything but Santana's chest among other things.
After school Brittany drives Santana home before heading to the garage. Apparently Miss Linda has a few rules she has to set for Santana before she leaves her home alone for the first time since she got to Knox. She herself goes home to change into her work clothes and packs a pair of jeans and a nice top for their date later just in case she doesn't have time to stop home first.
Usually, for Brittany, spending time at Pierce Parts and Tires working on cars helps clear her mind. Not today. Today is spent counting the seconds, minutes and hours until she hops in her truck and goes to Holly's Daze. Thankfully Mr. Fabray has an engine that needs to be rebuilt for one of the old trains for some motor show over in Dalton and asks for her to put some time into it with Ken.
Ken might not be the brightest guy in the world but the man doesn't shut up. So while Brittany is working on her part of the engine in silence, Ken is talking her ear off about his ex-fiancé as he works on his part. Even though she can't quite follow the way he tells stories, sometimes falling off because he's talking to his wrench or screwdriver, she's happy that he is making her think of something other than Santana naked.
It's already after ten by the time they decide to call it a night. Ken tells her to go ahead and get going, that he'll clean up and she should enjoy her weekend. She thanks him and heads into the employee bathroom to wash her face and hands figuring she will change when she gets to Holly's. It only takes about ten minutes to get to Holly's Daze from the shop and the quicker she gets to see Santana the better.
When she pulls up to the café she notices the blinds on both giant windows are closed. She curiously looks around the store front, trying to see if there's still a light on inside or if perhaps Santana got tired of waiting for her. She looks down at her phone to see if there's a text message from Santana she may have missed telling her that they should meet at home, but there isn't.
Assuming they are still on to meet here, she hops out of her truck and heads towards the door. When she opens it and steps in, Brittany comes to find one of the tables is set for two with a candle lit in the center. Her brow furrows and she looks around, wondering if she has accidentally come in and is crashing a special date that Holly has set up. She is taken out of her musings when music starts playing out of the jukebox. She looks over in that direction to find Santana standing there, leaning against the music player.
"What…" Brittany looks to the table then back at Santana. "What's goin' on?" She asks as she nervously tugs on the collar of her shirt and then twists the ring on her middle finger.
"I'm sorry." Santana apologizes, steps away from the jukebox and smoothes her hands down the front of her skirt. "I was changin' out of my work clothes and…" She tucks some hair behind her ear.
"What is all this?" Brittany asks again, a small smile plays on her lips and she motions towards the table set for two. Everything she had been thinking about today suddenly flies out the window and she's at a loss for words. Santana half grins, locks her hands together in front of herself and takes a few more steps towards Brittany.
"I've never had an actual Valentine." Santana explains. "I've never had someone I cared about enough to celebrate the fake holiday."
"It's not fake."
"Says you, Hallmark and Hershey." They laugh. "I know it's a little late. Both in that it was a few days ago and that it's really late right now. But…" She motions towards the table.
"Oh, I…" Brittany frowns, sincerely wishing she hadn't agreed to order pizza when Ken suggested it. "I already ate." Santana nods and grabs Brittany's hand to lead her to the table.
"I figured as much." Santana grins.
"So, then what are we gonna do?"
"We could… sit and talk?" Santana offers.
"I wish you would've at least told me to dress up when you called." Brittany says as she tugs at the middle of her shirt.
"Why?" Santana asks with a frown.
"'Cause I look like a mess and you look," She makes a motion towards Santana. "You look like that." Santana smirks and giggles.
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment." Santana jokes and Brittany sighs at her loss for adjectives. "Besides," Santana shrugs. "It doesn't matter much to me what you're wearing. You always look beautiful to me." Brittany tilts her head to the side and studies Santana for a moment to find the joke, only it's not there. "Whether you're in your church dress, your nifty jumpsuit at the garage, your oh so edible cheer uniform or," She tugs at the collar of Brittany's shirt. "Jeans and a t-shirt." Brittany blushes and looks away for a moment, feeling over heated at the comments and the proximity.
"At least I brought clothes to change into." Brittany says and pats her duffel bag. Santana continues to smile through a nod and steps aside so that Brittany can go and use the restroom to get changed.
Fifteen minutes later, the jukebox falls silent and Brittany emerges from the bathroom in a pair of skinny jeans, her usual cowboy boots and a tight fitting tank top accentuating all the right curves. Santana keeps a careful eye on her as she makes her way from the bathroom to the table she set up just for the two of them.
"What's your favorite holiday then?" Brittany asks.
"Hmmm?" Santana hums out, being taken out of her Brittany staring.
"I'm just curious if you have any other holidays you consider fake. What's your favorite one?" Brittany wonders.
"That's easy, my birthday." Santana replies with a grin.
"Oh, so Valentine's Day isn't a real holiday, but, your birthday is?" Brittany asks with a giggle. "Is it celebrated around the world?"
"It should be." Santana shrugs, smirk on her lips. "I mean, birthdays are magical. There's presents and cake. Who doesn't love cakes? And there's candles. Very celebratory. People sing and there're candles to make wishes on." Santana explains.
"So, you're sayin' if I sing to you, give you a present and there's a candle it today might constitute as a holiday?"
"Britt…"
"Accordin' to you, if there're treats, song and a candle it's a holiday." Brittany points out with a quirked eyebrow. "So," She gets up and looks around. "All I need is some music." Brittany gets up and moves over to the jukebox, pushes some buttons until some music comes pouring from the speakers. "Check." She grins over at Santana. "And, hmmm, treats." She heads over this time to the back where she knows that Holly keeps some candy. "Check." She announces with the candy in hand. "And all we need now is a wish." She sits down and holds out a book of matches she snagged from Holly's desk when she was grabbing the candy. "I know it's no candle, but…" She mumbles as she strikes a match and lights it up. "It'll do." She beams at Santana who is staring back at her in amazement. "Go ahead, before my fingers catch fire."
Brittany laughs when Santana finally snaps out of it and smiles at her and the match. Santana blows out the small fire and looks at Brittany through the smoke.
"What'd you wish?"
"I wished you'd hold my hand." Santana admits in a tiny voice. Brittany grins and playfully rolls her eyes. Carefully, she moves her hand across the table until she grasps Santana's hand. "So, I was wondering," Santana clears her throat as she laces their fingers and rubs her thumb across the back of Brittany's hand. "How's the view of Knox at the Pierce barn at night?" Brittany smiles and tilts her head. "I was thinkin' how nice Dalton looked from high up and your dad's barn is sort of on a hill that overlooks Knox. I bet it's amazin' at night." Brittany nods. It's not every day that Santana is this charming and sweet and utterly adorable. But, when she is, Brittany drinks it up because it's so delicious.
"Umm, yeah. It's pretty nice at night." Brittany tells her and Santana grins. "There're no lights up there, so, the sky is incredible. You think the stars are bright on the South Service Road, you haven't seen nothin'." Santana breathes out a small laugh that only makes her smile shine more.
"I think my aunt is out with a guy." Santana comments after an inner battle on what to say next. Maybe talking about Aunt Linda's love life is not the best topic of conversation, but, it's something which is way better than Santana just sitting in silence staring at how beautiful Brittany is. Not that Santana would mind doing that. She could do that all night.
"Oh?" Brittany questions curiously.
"Yeah, she had a bag packed and she let me take her truck." She says with a nod towards the door. Brittany hadn't even noticed Miss Linda's truck parked outside. She had other things on her mind. "She didn't even tell me to call her if I needed anything. I guess it was kinda implied when she said 'don't do somethin' stupid while I'm gone'." They laugh and shake their heads, both wondering if perhaps Linda Lopez has finally gotten her second shot at love.
"That'd be nice for her." Brittany lets out, her eyes on their clasped hands sitting in the middle of the table. "I mean, it's been so long since…" Her voice trails off and Santana nods in understanding.
"It's gotta be hard though. I mean, people think they're never gonna find it once." Santana muses out loud and shrugs, letting her eyes bore into blues that lift to meet hers.
"Love?" Brittany questions, making sure they are on the same page. Santana nods and whether it's intended or not, she squeezes Brittany's hand a little bit tighter.
"I mean, it could just be sex." Santana says. "Aunt Linda is definitely entitled to get her mack on."
"Sure, it could be." Brittany reasons. "But, I think Miss Linda's a person who's in it for more than just the physical."
"What's wrong with just the physical?" Santana asks, leaning forward and rests her elbow to the table, setting her chin in her hand.
"Nothin'. But, I think that with feeling's it's better." Brittany clarifies what she means.
They sit there for a few more minutes, maybe it's one or even less but no one's counting, smiling at one another. Brittany's words dancing around the café, sinking into Santana's head and settling in her heart. She's only known sex as sex. She always thought that sex was better without eye contact. But, Quinn hit the nail on the head, Brittany makes everything different.
"What do ya say we get outta here and make some more of those memories?" Santana asks after a little more staring into each other's eyes. Brittany's eyes sparkle and she nods. "Alright, but I'm drivin'."
"But you don't know how to get anywhere around here." Brittany reminds her as they get up from the table. Santana laughs on her way to shut the kitchen lights off as well as the dining room.
"You may be right about that, but I have you, my own personal GPS." Santana tells her while grabbing her hand once again to lead them out the front door of Holly's and out to her aunt's truck. "Plus, I'm the one who asked you out on this date so I'm sort of in charge."
When they get into Aunt Linda's truck it starts to rain. Santana huffs at how Mother Nature might ruin her perfect date night. Brittany points out that sometimes this Texas rain lasts twenty minutes and sometimes they can even drive their way out of it, avoiding it completely. With that hope, Santana asks if they can go check out that view at the Pierce barn.
Santana tugs on Brittany's hand for her to slide closer to her on the bench seat of the truck. She turns right when Brittany says to, then left and then she follows the road straight as instructed. It's dark, the only light coming from the headlights of the truck illuminating only twenty feet in front of them. Apparently Brittany was right about the rain seeing as they have driven away from it completely.
"Here." Brittany says pointing towards the spot she wants Santana to pull up to. She does as directed bringing her aunt's truck right up to the edge of the hill. "Kill the lights." She tells her with a soft voice. Santana throws the truck into park, shuts the engine off and shits the lights off. She looks over to her right when she hears the passenger door open. "Come on." Brittany motions for Santana to follow. The girls meet at the front of the truck, Santana's jaw drops at the sight. "Amazing right?" She whispers, crossing her arms around herself not even needing to turn around to know Santana's nodding in agreement.
"Wow." Santana finally lets out, moving to lean on the front of the truck. "It's gorgeous." Brittany turns around in time to catch Santana staring at her and both girls blush through a grin and look away.
Santana watches carefully as Brittany looks down at her feet shuffling against the dirt, running her hands up and down her own arms. Brittany takes a deep, unsteady breath before she steps in front of Santana, leaning her back into her front. Santana's breath gets caught in her chest and her arms lift from her sides, uncertain of where to put them. She swallows hard, her eyes gazing over the blonde's bare back thanks to her tank top.
Brittany uncrosses her arms and tentatively reaches for Santana's hands, when she finds them she brings them to her waist. Letting out a long sigh, she moves her hands from Santana's and up to her forearms feeling the goose bumps beneath her fingertips. Santana leans in, moves her head forward and closes her eyes as she feels Brittany's heart beat rapidly against her body. Brittany turns her head slightly and her eyes flutter closed when Santana's breath hits her cheek.
"Santana." Brittany whispers, tilts her head to the side exposing her neck and gulps at the feeling of Santana's fingers as they squeeze her hips.
"Hmm?" Santana hums out, nudging her nose against the skin at Brittany's neck, letting her lips graze just below her ear which elicits a gasp from the girl in her arms.
"I can't stop thinkin' about that day at the lake." Brittany admits into the silent night air. Santana continues to ghost her lips against new skin when suddenly Brittany turns around in her arms, her blue eyes locking into hers. "I can't stop thinkin' about you. Like that." She shakes her head, slowly brings her hand up to cup Santana's cheek and says, "And really, I don't want to stop." Brown eyes flicker from blue eyes to lips, a pink tongue pokes out to moisten them. Those intoxicating blue eyes scan Santana's entire face, trying to gauge her reaction.
"Then don't." Santana tells her, keeping eye contact. "Because, I can't stop either and…" Her eyes flicker back and forth, not sure which beautiful blue orb to give the most attention to. "You're so beautiful and awesome and I…"
"Shut up, Santana." Brittany cuts her off. "Just… shut up and kiss me." For someone who usually disregards any form of instruction, Santana wastes no time in complying with Brittany's demand.
Her hands squeeze and pull Brittany's hips against her own as she tilts her head to capture those lips. It's a heated kiss, frantic and needy, but also soft and gentle at the same time. A small whine escapes Brittany's mouth which spurs Santana on to intensify the kiss. Hands find their way into dark locks of hair, a desperate attempt to pull Santana deeper. Lips part and tongues dance. Santana's hands move slowly from Brittany's hips to the small of her back, letting the other hand slide up to the space between her shoulder blades.
"Is this okay?" Santana asks between kisses as she pushes off of the truck causing Brittany to stumble back slightly. Brittany pulls back momentarily to nod before rushing back in for more kisses.
They are fighting for more of each other, lifting shirts and grabbing at skin. Feet shuffle against the dirt as they push and pull at each other. Santana finally gets Brittany's back up against the truck and trails kisses down her neck, moving the strap of her tank top to fall down her shoulder, kissing her there. Brittany's hands get lost in Santana's hair, pulling the girl closer against her skin and lifts her leg up to rub against Santana's.
It seems that only a few minutes ago they had driven through the rain but it has found them. The sky opens up and it begins to pour on them, but, neither girl gives a reaction to Mother Nature's sudden intrusion. Brittany moans when Santana sucks on her earlobe and pulls her back by her hair, only to assault her lips with her own.
Their clothes are sopping wet, their hair drenched and stuck to their skin. Brittany reaches behind her to open the driver's side door of the truck, blindly searching for the handle. She yanks it open which causes Santana to stumble backwards but keeps their lips pressed together best she can. Santana grips at the sides of Brittany's soaking wet tank top, balls it up into her fists, desperate to keep their bodies close. The fabric only stretches when the blonde lifts herself up into the driver's seat of the truck.
"Get in here." Brittany demands breathlessly. This time it's her who is reaching out and fisting Santana's shirt in her hand to pull her into the truck with her. Brittany giggles as Santana hoists herself up onto the step and practically falls onto her.
Their lips find each other instantly and the force of Santana's body falling forward pushes Brittany's back to the leather seat. Santana shifts her body to fit into Brittany's as it did that day by the lake, keeping her hand by Brittany's head so she doesn't hit it on the passenger side door as she slides back against the front seat. Santana sits up, only briefly, to turn around and close the door to stop the rain from hitting their legs.
Brittany's hands run up and under her shirt, slipping across her skin that is wet from the rain which is completely going through her t-shirt. Santana's stomach muscles quiver and she smiles at the feeling as she lowers herself back down on top of the blonde. She licks Brittany's lips before taking the bottom between her teeth and pulls on it gently garnering a small moan to creep up from the back of the Brittany's throat.
Her hand glides down the side of Brittany's stomach and moves to the front, trailing her fingers right where the top of her jeans start and she plays with the button that is a small inconvenience. Hips from underneath her cant up, seeking some sort of friction and she grinds down to oblige the unspoken request.
"Uh." Brittany moans something high pitched and tries to tug Santana's shirt up to expose her flesh and its then that she notices that the girl on top of her is not wearing a bra.
"Mmm." Santana hums out onto Brittany's lips, greedily kissing her while her fingers still work at the button fly of these pesky jeans. Frustration kicking in she grunts and pulls from the kiss to look down at the problem in her hand, leans up and brings her other hand down to aide in the process of unbuttoning it.
"Wait." Brittany grabs her hands, stilling them and Santana looks down at her. "I…" She looks away towards the dashboard, not for anything really. It's simply a place to look while she gathers her thoughts. "Take me home… with you." She whispers, turns her head and stares into Santana's eyes. She studies Brittany's face, her eyes and her lips and the way her chest is moving up and down as she breathes.
"Are you sure?" Santana asks.
In movies, they never show these in between moments; the moments where it gets extremely awkward and silent because the characters can't think of anything to do or say. One minute they are on screen getting all hot and heavy then in the next scene they're in bed getting it on. They never show the quiet drive back to the apartment or house or dorm room. They don't unveil how torturously uncomfortable it is to all of a sudden have to put a hold on the ache between one's legs.
But, that's what this moment is; a deleted scene. If this was a movie, it's the part where the lovers finally find the same page and want to consummate said page. Only they want to 'do it' somewhere more special than on the sticky leather seats of their Aunt's truck. So, instead of ripping one another's clothes off right then and there when the time arose, they are sitting in the truck. The radio is off and the only sound besides their labored breathing returning to normal is the squeak of the windshield wipers.
"I can fix that." Brittany comments after they finally turn onto the South Service Road.
"Cool." Santana says softly, with a nod and a small smile, finding herself genuinely happy that someone is finally going to fix these stupid windshield wipers.
It feels like it takes forever but eventually Santana is pulling the truck into the driveway, her heart nearly pounding out of her chest at this point. They run up to the porch hand in hand and Santana fumbles with the house keys trying to get it open as quickly as possible. Once inside, with the door shut and locked they stand there with their clothes dripping water to the ground beneath them, their hair spilling more rain onto their skin. Santana throws the keys onto the table, grabs Brittany's other hand and walks backwards down the hall, leading the both of them towards her bedroom.
She closes her bedroom door behind them and brings them over to stand beside her bed. Her hands come up and move blonde hair off of Brittany's shoulders until it falls onto her back then lets her fingers trail down her arms only stopping when she comes to the hem of her shirt. Then, ever so slowly she begins to lift Brittany's shirt up, peeling it from her body until it hits the floor with a thud. She smoothes out the blonde hair that got messed up from the rain and the shirt being pulled over her head and she leans in to press a soft kiss onto Brittany's lips.
Santana steps forward, rests her forehead against Brittany's and watches her own hand come up to the blonde's bra strap carefully sliding it down. Her lips come to press against the skin on her shoulder, then to the crook of her neck, her jaw line and then finally the corner of her mouth. Then Santana does the same to the other side on the other shoulder before she walks around Brittany, stops behind her and unclasps her bra.
She slips her hands from behind around to the front and underneath the bra and cups Brittany's breast causing her to gasp, throwing her head back which lands on Santana's shoulder. Santana kisses her neck where it's exposed from leaning back and she continues to squeeze and caress Brittany's perfectly round breasts. Her lips move from the side of her neck to the back of her shoulder then to the spot between her shoulder blades and she moves blonde hair to the side to kiss the rest of her back. Eventually the bra is completely discarded, falling from Brittany's arms to the ground.
Santana's kisses move lower and to the sides, kissing at Brittany's ribs, then down to her hips and the small of her back until she is kissing her way back up again. She makes sure she takes her time on every piece of skin she can put her lips to. She steps back and brings her hands down to the bottom of her own shirt and lifts it over her head, tossing it to the other side of the room without a care and presses the front of her body against Brittany's back.
"Oh." Brittany breathes out, reaching down to grab Santana's hands that are splayed across her stomach. She turns around, wanting to look at the girl behind her and to feel all of her all over her. Her eyes rake over Santana's chest eventually falling onto her face pulling her in by her neck for a kiss. "Don't move." She whispers into her mouth and Santana can only nod.
She gulps when she feels Brittany's lips move across her skin, down her neck and lick over her collarbone. Her hands rest on Brittany's shoulders as she kisses her way further down the front of her body until she's on her knees. Brittany looks up momentarily to meet dark brown eyes and hooks her fingers into the top of Santana's black lace thong.
"You…" Santana's voice cracks and she closes her mouth to moisten it up. "You don't have to do…"
"I want to." Brittany says and all Santana can seem to do is stare at the girl as she gently pulls her thong down to her ankles and holds her hand for Santana to take as she steps out of it. Brittany's eyes flicker from Santana's eyes and to the spot between her legs, nervously licking her lips as she does so.
Tentatively, Brittany slides her hands up Santana's legs, reaching around and grazes her ass in the process before resting on her hips. She leans in and kisses her thigh, then her hip bone and then at her waist just below her belly button.
"Sit down and lie back." Brittany tells her, nudging her backwards to the bed by pressing her hands against Santana's hips. She nods and follows direction taking a seat at the edge of her bed and leans back on her elbows.
Brittany shuffles against the wood floor to move closer to Santana and brings her hands to the inside of her thighs and spreads her legs a little wider. Her lips come to the inside of her thigh peppering the area with soft wet kisses. She slowly moves upwards with her kissing and locks eyes with Santana as she turns her face towards her destination. Santana gasps when she feels breath hits her there. With a small smile Brittany places a kiss right where Santana needs her most making her groan out anxiously.
Brittany pulls back, looking down as though wondering where to start before she moves back in and licks her way from the opening to Santana's clit causing the girl on the bed to jerk her legs and hips. The taste doesn't bother her like she feared it would, in fact, Brittany has just decided that she quite likes the taste of Santana on her lips and tongue and in her mouth. She pushes her face further in and lets her tongue explore some more, dipping it into Santana's center and twirling it around slowly.
"Oh fuck yes." Santana's head flies back and her eyes shut tight, her hands bunch up the sheets on her bed into her fists. Brittany's hands come up under Santana's thighs, lifting her up slightly from the bed to give herself a better angle to work with. "Don't stop." Santana begs, her hips moving up and into Brittany's mouth.
Santana can't see it, but Brittany smiles at the positive verbal cues because they let her know that she's doing a good job. She begins to work her tongue faster, in and out making sure to push deep inside of Santana because she seems to really like that. Santana's breathing is heavy, actually she's panting. One of her hands finally releases the bed sheet and finds a place on Brittany's shoulder.
Brittany starts moving her head, getting into a rhythm with her tongue while Santana hums and moans. Legs close in around her ears making the sounds Santana has coming out of her muffled. Every now and again those legs open wider, letting Brittany get a quick listen of the gasps and squeaks that pop from Santana's throat and spill over her lips. When Santana's hips start moving up and down a bit faster and slightly more frantic, Brittany realizes that she has to latch on and follow her body. She even tries to keep her hand at Santana's hip to keep her in position, but that fails when Santana reaches down and grabs her hand, lacing their fingers tightly.
"Oh, yes." Santana moans loudly, oblivious to the fact that she is grinding herself into Brittany's face while her free hand gets lost in blonde hair.
The noises coming from Santana are getting louder and lasting longer and range from high pitched to low and husky at every different way she is touched. Brittany isn't sure which sound is hotter, but with her head between Santana's legs she doesn't give it much thought and decides every version of Santana's voice is amazing. Santana's hand grips tighter to Brittany's as her hips jut up and stay there. Brittany continues to lick and suck, basically doing anything she can think to do to drive Santana utterly and completely wild.
"Right there." Santana whimpers. "Uh, don't stop baby." She begs as she licks her lips that are so dry from her panting.
Hearing Santana call her baby as she is on the verge orgasm is all the motivation Brittany's tired tongue and jaw needed to hear to cross the finish line. Her hand at Santana's hip holds her still as she adds a little more pressure with her tongue to Santana's clit. It's that tiny amount of pressure that sends Santana over the edge. When she comes, Brittany's name dances off her lips and her body stiffens before it falls limp to the bed. Brittany continues to kiss the intimate spot she has become acquainted with, only softer and slower than before, easing Santana down from her high.
Santana's grip on Britany's hand loosens, but she keeps their fingers laced as her hips continue to roll up and into those sweet kisses. Her breathing, though ragged, slows down and she starts to hum. When she hears the sound Brittany looks up from her spot between those beautiful legs and finds Santana smirking down at her. Her eyes are hooded and her smirk is more relaxed than a typical Santana smirk.
Santana opens her eyes and sees stars dancing around her bedroom ceiling. Her body is fluttering and buzzing and hot but cool. Her breathing is still catching up with itself and she sighs with a smile. She's never had an experience like this.
Her brain is fuzzy, but she's brought back to semi solid ground when she feels Brittany's lips softly ghost over her stomach and her breathe sends goose bumps all down her skin. Her hands grab and tug at the girl still settled between her legs. Santana squeezes Brittany's hand and whispers 'come here' with a nod of her head. She closes her eyes, still reeling from her orgasm and the feeling of Brittany touching her the way she just did.
As requested, Brittany carefully maneuvers herself from between Santana's legs and crawls on top of her. Santana's hands come to the sides of her face and she smiles up at the blue eyed girl hovering over her.
"Did you…?" Brittany's voice is cute and uncertain as she leaves the question unfinished. Santana dips her head bashfully, knowing what Brittany is asking, and she smiles.
"I did." Santana replies softly and her stomach flutters along with the sweet sigh of relief that comes from the girl hovering over her. "Kiss me." Santana says. Brittany blinks once then twice, a small smile on her mouth. Then, ever so slowly, Brittany leans down and presses her lips to Santana's. It's quick, just a peck really and they both giggle.
Santana places her hands on Brittany's cheeks and runs a thumb over her bottom lip. For a moment, she studies her features and curiously aroused expression. She nibbles her own bottom lip before lifting her head from the bed to set another gentle kiss on Brittany's slightly open mouth.
She's never kissed a girl who has just went down on her. It isn't that she minded having the taste of herself in her mouth, it merely seemed to be too intimate of an action. Deepening the kiss, she tastes herself on Brittany's lips and tongue, sending her brain into a spiral. Her stomach plummets and her chest feels constricted, almost too tight to take a breath.
When she pulls back she lets out a shaky sigh. Her eyes open slowly and she finds Brittany staring down at her and she becomes mesmerized. Actually, she feels as though she has just come to realize that perhaps she has been living in this hypnotized like state for some time now. That's the sort of affect Brittany Pierce holds over her. Especially in this moment.
She swallows and it's a bit difficult because her throat is still dry from heaving and panting only moments ago. Her fingers run along Brittany's cheeks and then through her hair, not sure where she wants to begin her journey.
"Brittany?" She says her name in a questioning way. Brittany stares down at her expectantly and curious as to what is about to pour from those delicious lips. "You're so beautiful." She runs her fingers through blonde hair and smiles. "And… I just wanted you to know that, this isn't just sex for me." Brittany can't help but melt inside at how sincere and sweet Santana sounds and how unsure she is of her own words. "I mean, like…" Brittany looks down at the beautiful, naked girl beneath her and watches as her own thoughts run rampant through her mind. Santana runs her fingers down Brittany's shoulder and down to her chest right above her breasts.
Brittany smiles at her because Santana's naked both physically and emotionally and it's stunning to her. It's adorable and heart breaking at the same time because Santana doesn't know how to handle her own feelings. So without letting her freak herself out, Brittany carefully moves from on top of her and tries to pull Santana into a sitting position.
"Can we…" Brittany starts nervously. "Sit up." She tells her and moves from the bed so she is standing. Santana stares, but does as she is told. "I want to try something."
Santana nods and watches as Brittany straddles her making her gasp when arms circle around her neck and long legs spread for her, thighs touching her sides. Santana's eyebrows rise and her eyes widen at the sight of Brittany's center so close to hers. She can practically smell her arousal and she lets out a ragged breath at the way Brittany takes her hand and positions it between her legs.
"Right… here." Brittany whispers, setting Santana's fingers at her entrance.
Brittany slides her other hand up Santana's arm, rests it at her shoulder and lowers herself until she feels those fingers inside of her. She sighs in relief, relaxation and arousal. Her fingers unwrap themselves from around Santana's wrist and she grabs her bicep. Brittany moans when Santana's fingers slowly thrust in and out of her, her hips carefully matching her pace. They both smile at the way their bodies are moving and Brittany puts her hand on Santana's shoulder to balance herself.
Santana can't help it when her eyes move from Brittany's down to those bouncing breasts right in front of her. With every thrust and every time Brittany lowers herself onto Santana's fingers those beautiful, round, perfectly sized breasts catch her attention and she licks her lips. Brittany huffs out a laugh and when Santana looks up at her she grins because she's been watching Santana watch her. She reaches around to the hand that's at her hip, fingers at her back, and pulls it up to her chest.
"You can touch me anywhere." Brittany breathes out, humming out in approval when Santana's hand covers her breast and squeezes gently. She shuffles forward, her knees come to meet Santana's hips and her chest gets closer to her face.
Santana smiles wickedly up at her before pushing her face into Brittany's chest, kissing the spot right between her boobs while she continues to work her fingers in and out of her. Brittany's body arches into her, forcing her mouth to press more firmly into her skin making them both groan. Her hand is stays at the back of Santana's that is covering her left breast and she manipulates Santana's hand the way she wants to be touched.
"Ugh." Santana grunts, her eyes close and her legs open and shut as she desperately tries to control her growing arousal. Brittany taking charge, the sounds coming out of her mouth and the way she feels everywhere makes Santana feel high. She's high on Brittany and it feels better than any pill or drink she's ever had. "You're so hot Britt." She mumbles into her chest, still adorning it with kisses, licks and nips.
The way Santana's lips latch on to her nipple, tongue flicking the hard bud, is what pushes Brittany to the edge. She can feel her release rolling towards her like a freight train and her hips jerk to get Santana's fingers deep inside of her. Santana works double time, thrusting in and out faster and faster until the muscles in her forearm start to burn. There's a hum from Brittany, short sounds turning into long lasting moans and her knees squeeze at Santana's hips every time she moves herself up on those fingers.
"Oh God…" Brittany cries as she reaches the beginning of her orgasm. Her hands grip tightly to Santana's body, fingers digging into her flesh as the wave of pleasure takes her over completely. "Oh my God… shit…" She groans and her eyes lock into Santana's as she tumbles further and further into her orgasm. "Oh, Santana." She whimpers.
Once she comes, she rests her forehead to Santana's shoulder and slows her hips down. She lets out strangled sighs and airy moans, her hands slide down Santana's back and stop at her hips. Santana turns her head and places a kiss to Brittany's neck and cheek, setting her free hand at Brittany's lower back, pulling her other hand from between her legs when she's sure that her orgasm is complete. She smiles at the sound of Brittany letting out a slight giggle. It's not a serious laugh, it's one that is full of relief and surprise.
With her lips close to Brittany's ear Santana asks if she wants to lay down because she's shaking. Brittany nods, her chin slightly digging into the crook of Santana's neck. She grins and pulls back, looking at Brittany while she moves from straddling her. Brittany lays down with her back to the edge of the bed while Santana shuffles up and leaves her back to the wall. When they are face to face they breathe out smiles, both letting their eyes fall to take in the naked body of the other.
Brittany turns to lay on her stomach, tucking her arms comfortably under her so her fists are just under her chin. Santana grins at the cute way she gets settled into her bed while she herself stays on her side. Santana lifts her hand and runs her fingers down Brittany's back, letting them graze over her rear end and then back up again.
Santana tickles up and down Brittany's back, all the while smiling at the way she's being smiled at. It's quiet, safe for the rain hitting the windows and the rumble of thunder that seems to sound as though it is echoing from miles away. Brittany's fists unclench and she smoothly slips a hand beneath the pillow they are sharing and sets the other to the small space between their bodies.
"I have," Santana interrupts their comfortable silence and reaches over their heads to her nightstand. "I have my iPod on the dock." She flashes the tiny remote in front of them and raises a questioning eyebrow. "Want me to put on some music?" She asks with uncertainty. That day by the lake she didn't have to worry about how to fill the post orgasm silence. Brittany giggles softly, smiles sweetly and nods.
"Okay." Brittany shrugs.
A song they both know comes on and Santana is relieved that she had already set up a playlist. Last thing she wants is for her angry rock mix to come on and spoil the moment. She hums along to the song and Brittany's eyes widen a bit. She'd almost forgotten what a beautiful voice Santana had. Brittany places her hand to Santana's cheek, letting her know she wants her to continue humming along to the soft sound of the song playing in the background. Santana slides her fingers up Brittany's back, arm and settles to the back of the hand covering the side of her face.
When the song comes to an end and new one starts, Santana bashfully looks away and giggles like a little girl. Brittany tells her that one of these days she has to really sing for her, like she used to. Santana rolls her eyes playfully and tells her maybe.
"Come on." Brittany whines and bends her leg, setting it gently between Santana's so that their knees are touching. "You watch me dance all the time."
"You're an amazing dancer." Santana points out.
"Please." She begs. Santana shuffles her face closer to Brittany's and kisses the tip of her nose.
"I said 'maybe', girl." Santana tells her. "And let's be serious. I can't say 'no' to you so 'maybe' really means 'yes'." She reasons and Brittany beams her.
"Do I get to pick the song?" Brittany continues and Santana laughs with a shake of her head. "How about Melissa Etheridge, 'Come To My Window'?"
"That's super gay."
"So's this." Brittany says with a quirked eyebrow and motions between them.
"Good point." Santana smirks and slides her hand down to rest just above Brittany's ass.
They both chuckle as they adjust their bodies to get as close as possible. Santana's hand caresses Brittany's body softly and with purpose. It's as though she's writing her name all over her skin, letting them both know they belong to each other. For a little while Santana watches her fingers dance over Brittany's back, thinking and not thinking, just enjoying the feel of Brittany under her fingertips.
"What's the best movie you've ever seen in theaters?" Santana asks, her eyes scanning over Brittany's face as she waits for the answer.
"Ummm," Brittany hums and looks to the wall for her response. "Kung Fu Panda." Santana laughs, sliding her hand up Brittany's arm, grabs her hand and sets it at her own hip.
"Really?" She asks as she shifts in her spot, closer to Brittany. "A cartoon is the best movie you've ever seen in the theater?" Brittany shrugs and chuckles along with her.
"I don't know. You put me on the spot." She nudges Santana's shoulder with her nose. "It was the first one I could think of. Why, what's yours?"
"I don't know, I was just askin'." Santana shrugs, grinning at Brittany who nods.
"Grease 2 was on the other day."
"Ugh. Worst movie ever." Santana groans and closes her eyes.
"I love that movie." She defends.
"It's so bad." Santana reminds her and Brittany laughs.
"But, that's why it's good."
"Eh, well, I guess I just think sequels suck." Santana says.
"What? No they don't. Well, not all the time." Brittany reasons. "I mean, I think of this as our sequel." Santana giggles. "Like, the first part of our story was to be continued when we were twelve and five years later is where our story picks up again."
"Is there a third installment to our story?" Santana wonders curiously.
"I don't know." Brittany sighs, clearly thinking. "Maybe." She looks into Santana's eyes. "But, I don't really want this part of the story to end."
"Me neither." Santana admits watching the way her fingers continue to move along Brittany's naked body. She opens her mouth to say something only to fall short on the words she's scared to say. "But," She decides to continue. "If you think about it, having more than one sequel just means there's more story to tell. When one part's over it just means another starts again." She traces patterns on Brittany's skin. "I guess sequels don't suck after all."
"What if the story ends happily ever after? Like fairytales." Brittany challenges.
"I'd like to think that's Disney's version of 'to be continued'. You know, they ride off into the sunset and have a happy life together. I guess it'd be boring to have a follow up of all the silly simple and mundane things that happen after the sun fully sets." Brittany smiles thoughtfully at the way Santana seems to stare off for a moment. "I think I want that." Santana adds after a few seconds of quiet, still looking away from Brittany's gaze. "With you." She clicks her tongue and forces her eyes to meet Brittany's, trying to remain stoic and controlled. Santana shrugs her shoulders that shift against the mattress and pillow beneath her.
She thinks of what she wants to say to Brittany, the words that terrify her. The admission of feelings beyond her control. The only control she has over them is putting them out into the world. So, once again, instead of saying those three words, she opts to remain vague.
"You've changed me." Santana tells her.
They're not exactly the three words she is desperate to hold onto, and technically four words, but they mean every bit as much as the other declaration. Not just to her, but to Brittany as well. Her brow furrows curiously when Brittany smiles out a giggle and shakes her head softly against the pillow.
"No I haven't." Brittany says. "You've always been the person you are right in this moment." She explains and Santana studies her. "You just got a little lost. I may have helped you find your way, but, I haven't changed you. Not in the least." She smirks when she notices the telltale signs of Santana trying to think of a quick reply to counter this and she shushes her with her finger to her lips. "I know this 'cause," She grins and bashfully looks down as she slides her finger from Santana's lips. "You have the same eyes and the same smiles and the same laughs. I mean, they're way sexier now." She widens her eyes and Santana laughs.
Santana leans in and presses her lips to Brittany's leading them into a delicate yet heavy kiss. Their mouths move together and their tongues dance. Hands caress arms, sides, hips and cheeks as they move closer to each other. Santana rolls her body gently onto Brittany's, pressing her shoulder back down to the mattress. She kisses Brittany's jaw, the corner of her mouth and cheek. Her lips brush by her ear and she breathes out heavily, letting her hands roam over the body beneath her.
"I want to make this night last forever." Santana whispers. She can feel Brittany shudder under her touch and she kisses the goose bumps at her neck. "I want you." She sighs, moving her mouth around Brittany's chest. "I want you Brittany." Her voice is barely audible and Brittany whimpers.
Soon hands are at the sides of Santana's face and she's being pulled up to Brittany's eye level. They stare at one another and it feels like an eternity of soul opening secret sharing before Brittany lifts her head from the pillow and crashes her lips to Santana's.
"I'm yours." Brittany mutters out between kisses. Santana slowly kisses her way down Brittany's body.
Brittany's legs bend up and straighten out and bend again while her head lifts and falls to the pillow a few times. She tries to look down and watch Santana between her legs, but, when she catches those dark eyes staring up at her like they are, the pleasure becomes too much to handle. Her hands grip at the sheets and pulls them into her fists until they are a wrinkled ball of fabric between her fingers.
She didn't think she could get this worked up again this fast, but Santana wastes no time in trying to make her feel good. And it does. It feels so very good. The way Santana's tongue licks her up and down and then dips in. That tongue goes in so deep that it feels like Santana is making out with that spot between her legs. When that tongue slips out of her she feels the tip of it play with her clit, poking it and licking it gently and then with pressure.
Santana can't believe how amazing Brittany tastes. She's never wanted to savor every lick the way she wants to do with Brittany. But, it's not just about her taste that is making Santana take her time, it's wanting to bring her girl to a whole other level. There's something about making Brittany come that makes Santana feel closer to her and she wants to be as close to her as humanly possible.
It feels amazing and Brittany wants more. Her body is leading her to do things she never thought of doing, like pressing her hand to the back of Santana's head to pull her face closer. She feels and faintly hears Santana chuckle against her, but she doesn't care. Brittany's eyes clamp shut when she feels Santana's hands sliding up her thighs and to her hip, one setting at her stomach with fingers splayed across her contracting muscles. With one hand still at the back of Santana's head she pulls at her own hair with the other hand. Her hips are jerking up, pressing her center into Santana's mouth, needing more of everything.
Her throat is dry from gasping and it's making her panting and moans sound raspy. She whimpers and whines at the lack of control she is currently having over her body, flooding with an intense and profound amount of feelings both physically and emotionally. Her back arches up from the bed only to fall back down just to arch again. She's close and the hand that settles and grips at her hip tells her that Santana's knows this as well. The hand lost in her own hair quickly clasps against the hand on her hip and fingertips dig into Santana's skin.
When she comes Santana's name leaves her lips in an almost whisper. Her hips push up and stay there as Santana slows her tongue and lips down until she is carefully kissing the inside of Brittany's thighs. After a few moans, grunts and sighs Brittany's hips finally fall back down to the bed. Santana looks up from between her legs and watches the way Brittany's arm moves to cover her eyes and the way her mouth hangs open as she tries to catch her breath.
Santana carefully crawls out from between those long legs and takes her spot next to the wall and chuckles at how exhausted Brittany seems to be. She brushes some blonde hair from her forehead and tucks another few strands behind her ear, letting the back of her fingers linger on her cheek. She just lies there and watches her and Brittany lets her.
"You know, I always thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen." Santana says softly and Brittany's eyes shoot to hers in tired confusion. "I still think that, just so you know." Brittany smiles in a sleepy sort of embarrassed way.
"I love you." Brittany tells her in a quiet voice, lifting her hand to Santana's cheek and reads her eyes. They say the same to her even if her lips don't.
"You're right ya know." Santana rests her head to the pillow and pulls the covers up to their chests. "It is better with feelings."
Maybe it's not what either of them wished Santana had said, but, it was possibly even better. It somehow means a bit more that she can acknowledge that there are mutual feelings here.
Eventually it becomes hard to keep their eyes open even though they try to. Santana was serious before about wanting the night to last forever. So, when she falls asleep, Brittany tries her best to aim for forever. She watches Santana sleep for a few minutes until she can no longer stay awake. As she drifts off to dreamland she smiles because she gets to fall asleep with Santana Lopez in her arms.
She slowly opens her eyes and it's bright, too bright so she shuts them immediately to prepare her body for the intense light. After blinking a few times she finally falls to focus on something brown. Two brown eyes are staring back at her through long dark eyelashes.
"Hi." Her voice is hoarse, either from not using it for a few hours or, and she blushes, from using it loudly for several the night before. Santana grins, a soft gust of air coming through her nose and her eyes look away briefly.
"Hi." Santana replies in an equally low and raspy voice. "How did you sleep?" She asks, glancing up to the blonde hair splayed out by her arm.
Brittany looks around to take in their surroundings, momentarily forgetting where last night had taken her. They are in Santana's bedroom lying on her twin bed, she can gather this much based on the pale blue grayish colored wall behind the girl in bed with her. She thinks about the question, her body feels rather relaxed and she did sleep well now that she thinks about it.
"Good." She bites her lower lip when she realizes how pretty naked they both are. Santana nods, obviously liking that answer.
"And last night…? Was, good… too?" Santana nervously inquires and again Brittany feels her cheeks burning up.
"Oh… yes… it…" She hates that the only words she can think of is 'good', but the fact that they're both still very naked, had sex… again last night and waking up to each other is a lot to process. So, she swallows, lifts her hand from under the sheet and cups Santana's cheek. "Last night was lovely." She settles on, getting a bashful smirk out of the dark haired girl who looks down to gather herself from acting all giddy.
"It…" Santana glances back up to blue eyes and nods. "It really was." Her voice is like a whisper, she can't even believe what she's saying, but judging from Brittany's smile it's the right and perfect thing to say allowing her to let out a nervous breath. They stare into one another's eyes for a long while, it's really only a few short minutes but, it's as though time stops just for them in that moment. "Do you, uh, are you hungry?" Santana asks quickly, realizing its morning and she has a guest. Brittany's stomach growling gives her away and she moves her hand from Santana's cheek to her stomach completely embarrassed and they both giggle.
"I guess so." Brittany closes her eyes, trying to recover from her stomach answering for her. Santana shifts, sitting up to make some moves.
"Great. I can make you some breakfast then." She beams down to the blonde who grabs her arm to still her.
"Stop, you don't have to make something. Cereal or an apple will be fine." Brittany assures her but Santana scoffs at the idea and continues to roll over the blonde to get off of the bed, placing a soft kiss to Brittany's nose.
"Stay put and breakfast will be ready shortly." Santana tells her and Brittany watches as she pulls a tank top over her head before getting up from bed, finally letting the sheets fall from her half naked body. Brittany keeps her eyes on Santana's perfect ass as she shimmies into a pair of pajama shorts. "Eggs scrambled?" She asks before opening the door, Brittany nods.
Brittany sighs, letting her gaze drift up to the ceiling and closes her eyes hardly able to contain the shy smile that takes over at the fact that she woke up in Santana's bed. Opening her eyes again she searches the room for her clothes even though she can only assume they are still wet from last night.
"There are some clean shorts and shirts in the basket by my desk." She hears Santana call out from the kitchen. So, with the black bed sheet wrapped around her she moves from the bed to the basket to retrieve some fresh clothes. She settles on and old looking school t-shirt and some basketball shorts, tossing her hair up with a hair tie she finds on the night stand.
"I hope you don't mind, but I put cheese in the eggs." Santana says when she hears footsteps behind her. "I loves me some cheese." She grins and sends a quick look over her shoulder. "Hey."
Brittany quickly waves but she's all too well aware of the fact that she's in the Lopez kitchen, after a night of multiple orgasms both given and taken, and that she's wearing Santana's clothes. Her hands come down to the hem of the t-shirt she has on, tugging at it because a shirt that fits Santana perfectly is a bit short for Brittany.
"You look beautiful." Santana says and Brittany finds that very hard to believe. But, it's that little glimmer in Santana's eyes that actually makes her feel beautiful. "You can sit down." She chuckles and motions with the spatula towards the tiny kitchen table. Brittany does as suggested and slowly takes a seat.
"I feel like I should help or something."
"Absolutely not." Santana shakes her head as she sets up to plates with nice portions of eggs. "I can tell you, it's not every day that I make a girl breakfast." She puts the now empty pan down and grabs the toast from the toaster. "Well, of course, if you don't count Aunt Linda." This makes Brittany laugh which makes Santana grin as she carries the plates to the table. "Breakfast is served."
"Thank you." Brittany smiles excitedly at the plate of eggs and grabs her fork. "Mmmm, is it bad to tell you I'm surprised these are actually good?" She asks, mouth full and quirks an eyebrow when she looks to Santana.
"Wow." Santana laughs out, covering her mouth that is filled with toast. "If you didn't look absolutely adorable slash super fuckin' sexy in my clothes I'd be very offended." She says and sends Brittany a wink.
Brittany has to look down at her plate because her cheeks are on fire. Of course Santana can see her blushing, they are the only ones in the house and she is sitting only a few feet away from her. She is coaxed to look back up when she feels Santana's foot play with her own, rubbing up from her ankle to her calf then back down again.
"This shirt is a little tight on me… and short." Brittany points out, tugging at the middle of it between her fingers. Santana smirks and arches an eyebrow before she bites her toast.
"I'm okay with that." Santana quickly tells her. "I mean, I prefer what you weren't wearing last night more, but this'll do." Brittany purses her lips, her cheeks sucked in and she tilts her head, unable to look away at the adorableness that is Santana in this moment. "You wanna watch some TV after breakfast?" She asks, taking in a forkful of eggs.
"Sure." Brittany nods doing the same.
"I think Aunt Linda recorded Grease 2." She smirks.
"I thought you hated that movie." Brittany says, bringing her free hand down to Santana's leg and tickles her knee cap with her fingertips.
"But, I like you and you like it. So…"
"So you're willin' to watch a movie you can't stand just for me?" Brittany asks and Santana nods as she slowly chews her food. "What else are ya willin' to do for me?" She wriggles her eyebrows and Santana clears her throat, swallowing her dry toast quickly before it gets stuck through her laughing.
"Anythin' you want babe." She winks again and leans over in Brittany's direction, puckering her lips which are almost instantly kissed by Brittany.
"Hmmm…" Brittany hums as she pulls back, pretending that she's thinking about what she wants to make Santana do. Santana watches her with a small smile on her lips, still leaning towards her and sets her hand on Brittany's thigh. "What time's your aunt comin' home?" She wonders and Santana can read her mind immediately. Her eyes dart to the lock on the microwave and her shoulders fall.
"Any minute." She groans. She hadn't realized how late it was, it's nearly noon and her aunt had said she'd be back from her over night between eleven and half past twelve.
"Oh." Brittany is also deflated at that information, she had a certain something in mind but there is most definitely not enough time for any of that to happen. "Then I guess I'll just have to settle for you bein' my girlfriend." Santana's head jerks back and shakes it, not sure she heard Brittany right. She blinks a few times and opens her mouth to speak but all she can say is Brittany's name. "Santana." Brittany says her name in the same way, her smile never leaving her lips.
Santana breathes out and looks down at her hand on Brittany's thigh. Brittany lets out a long breath and covers the hand on her leg with her own, letting her thumb graze the back of it. Everything was going so well, last night and even this morning, and now she fears she ruined it all by asking for too much. When Santana lifts her eyes up to meet Brittany's, her head tilts to the side and she sighs once again.
"I don't do…"
"Relationships." Brittany finishes her words for her and Santana looks back down and licks her lips. "Right… well…" Brittany leans back in her chair and finishes her breakfast, not letting this little hiccup ruin their wonderful morning.
"Brittany, I'm…" Santana leans closer, moving her chair with her so she can take Brittany's hand in her own. "Last night was…" She grins when Brittany smiles. "And you're…" She bites her bottom lip.
"It's fine. It was just a silly thought that I…. just, nevermind." Brittany assures her with a forced smile, trying to make the situation light again. "Now, let's get to the best worst movie ever made." Santana watches Brittany finish her eggs in one bite and get up from the table.
"Fuck it." Santana mumbles to herself. "Britt!" She calls out just as Brittany reaches the couch. Brittany turns to see Santana practically run at her from the kitchen. "Wait…" She says, holding her hand up to stop the both of them from dismissing that conversation and Brittany just turns her body, a questioning look in her eyes but a small smile on her lips.
"What is…?" She grins when Santana basically barrels into her and wraps her arms tightly around her neck.
"I do want this." Santana says into her ear and her voice is strained, like she's out of breath but to Brittany it sounds a lot like her scared voice. Her arms wrap tighter around Brittany's neck and she pulls her as close as possible. "I want the girlfriend thing." Brittany's smile softens and her arms come to circle around Santana's waist. They stand there, Santana on her tippy toes and Brittany's eyes closed, holding on to one another. "Don't let me go." Santana whispers.
"Never." Brittany tells her, her lips pressed firmly into Santana's hair and she takes in her scent.
"Promise?" Santana asks, slowly pulling back to look her in those clear as a Texas sky blue eyes.
"I promise if you promise." Brittany says.
"Then I promise, too." Santana nods. "I won't let you let me go." She shakes her head and then reaches up to press her lips to Brittany's. "I want to be the girl who's good enough to be with you. And when I'm with you, I feel like I am that girl. I don't want anyone else the way that I want you." Santana says. "And I don't want you to want anyone else. Not the way I want you to want me. 'Cause I do." She tells her. "I want you to want me. I need you to want me." She shakes her head and sniffles. "When you fell in love with me," Santana says with a slight shake of her head. "I was already in love with you." Brittany smiles. "I never expected this."
"What?"
"Love. I never expected it to be like this. It's easy. It's hard. It's… always there." They smile at one another. "I love you." Santana says.
It's random and not at all when she thought the words were going to come out, but it feels so good. It feels like she has had this weight pinning her down to the ground and the simplicity of letting herself fall in love has lifted it.
She can breathe.
Finally.
Brittany stares back at her, a goofy smile on her face and she sucks her lips in trying to contain it. For a moment, a short second, Santana's chest seizes. She's afraid of the silence, regardless of how brief. Brittany shakes her head gently and sighs out a small giggle that sounds like relief. Then, she reaches up and places her hand over Santana's that is on her shoulder and squeezes it.
"I know." Brittany says with a slight shrug.