Summary: (BM/WW Wedding-fic) When Batman finally gathers the courage to ask Wonder Woman to marry him, the Dark Knight gets more than he bargained for when the entire League decided to pitch in and help plan their impending nuptials – contains fluff, random humour, a temperamental Amazon princess, drunken bachelor-party escapades, and various attempts on Superman's life!

A/N: 'Kay, so… here's what happened – I had about 10 pages for this chapter already written out… but then those darned insecurities crept up on me and I rewrote it (…four times)… now, add five test, two essays and two editing assignments into the mix and you'll see my predicament.

Anyway! The support this story has gotten both astonishes and titillates me to no end (still not sure what 'titillates' means exactly, but I'm sticking to it!). Over 200 favorites, and more than 80 000 hits! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

…And I'll stop my movie-starlet faffing so that all of you can enjoy the next chapter! Crack, crack, crack - Randomness! Fluff! Minor sexiness! Giggles (hopefully)! All next! The parts in Present Tense Bold-Italic is video – why present tense? Because naturally I had to make it more difficult for myself.

Disclaimer: Read the last one~!

Bridezillas & Kryptonite

~Chapter Fifteen~
Part Three
The Bachelor Party:
Truths will out – Kryptonians will blush

When the last of the bottles, knickknacks and other oddities were disposed of (or stashed away as a souvenir in the Fortress in the case of the LuthorCorp logo…), Clark looked around the mostly clean barn with a relieved sigh.

Walking up next to him, Jonathan nodded in approval.

"Have I ever said that the strangest things happen to you, Clark?" he said, amused.

"If you did, you probably wouldn't be the first."

Jonathan shook his head until he felt a firm nudge in his back, and when he looked, he was startled when he saw the camel there – for the time being, they thought it better to keep it in the field with the cows… clearly the camel thought otherwise.

"Now how did you get out…?" the farmer asked, hesitantly reaching out before stroking it along the nose.

"She's definitely tall enough – she must have stepped over the fence." Clark reasoned, grinning.

Jonathan gave him a sidelong look. "You know, people are going to ask questions about this."

"I do, and it'll only be for a few days…" he paused when he thought about it and rubbed the back of his head with a sigh. "…Of course, giving her back might just cause lead to more questions. Hal wasn't exactly specific about which zoo we got her from… or, how we got her."

"She seems sweet and all, Clark, but this is really unusual."

"I know. I'll figure something out."

"Well… I suppose she could stay with the cows for a while longer… provided she doesn't wander around too much. What do camels eat anyway…?" Jonathan mused, scratching it underneath the chin. The camel made a mild grunting noise but seemed to enjoy the attention.

"I can't help you there,"

"I guess we'll have to find out then," he said before looking around the barn. "You nearly done yet, son?"

Clark nodded. "Almost – I just need to check the cart first."

"What on earth were you boys doing with a golf cart?" Jonathan asked, puzzled.

"I'm more interested in how we got it here," he admitted before going through the dashboard.

"What are you looking for, son?"

"I'm not sure, a receipt or something," he said as he pulled out an empty soda can, several strings of beads and a half-eaten chocolate bar. "This looks brand new, maybe there's something in here that can tell me where we got this."

Clark stopped his search and blinked in surprise.

Jonathan noticed this. "Clark?"

Slowly, he pulled out a slim black camera.

"…I think we might get a few of those answers, Pa."

Meanwhile…
The Watchtower

Bruce may not have been completely sober yet, but he was pretty sure he wasn't imagining suddenly being pushed against the cold metal of the door to his Watchtower room while being kissed within an inch of his life by a beautiful Amazon princess.

…Not that he particularly minded any of it, of course…

When Diana pulled away, he blinked as in a daze before slowly putting his hands on her hips.

"…What was that for?" Bruce asked… only to be distracted when he felt her fingers trail up the back of his neck and curled her little finger around a lock of hair at his nape.

"For one, I haven't seen you in nearly twenty-four hours," she said matter-of-factly, kissing his chin, "secondly, I wanted to," then both his cheeks, "and thirdly, from what I've heard, your night turned out to be… quite interesting."

"You could say that,"

"There were people with knives?"

"There are always people with knives." He said, leaning in and kissed her.

She lingered for a moment. "Yes, but do those people usually belong to a cult?"

Bruce withdrew his head slightly. "…If we're being perfectly honest, it wouldn't be too different from how my nights tend to go, Princess."

"Perhaps, but you tend come back in the morning as well… or let me know if you don't."

"I'll try not to let that happen… too often…" he said vaguely, focusing instead on the trail of feather-light kisses she planted along the edge of his jaw and the corner of his mouth.

"I'll keep you to that," she murmured, pulling back slightly only to type in the code to the door.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"…Really?"

Diana pressed a quick kiss to his lips and stepped back out of his arms and went into the room. She paused at the door way, looking at him over her shoulder.

"If you're not feeling up to it, Bruce…" she trailed off, a subtle, challenging edge to her voice.

He stared at her for while, a slow smirk spreading over his face. Diana waited for him patiently, tilting her head.

Well… what would he be if he passed up on a challenge…?

He turned towards the door. "I think I'll manage."

As Diana reached out and grabbed Bruce by the scruff of his Hawaiian shirt and his smirk slowly turn into a toothy grin as she dragged him inside, neither of them even aware that they had an audience down the hall…

Hal stared, blinking wildly before turning back to Oliver who just shook his head.

"…Did that just happen?" the space-cop asked.

Oliver snorted, "Weird, huh?"

"…And you're sure we're not just still hung-over and imagining things?"

"We probably are, but no, I don't think we'd come up with that on our own."

"So… does 'that' happen a lot around here?"

"…More times than I'm comfortable admitting seeing."

Hal visibly shuddered. "Now there's a scary thought." He said as the two of them went on their way.

Several minutes later, when they finally got to the rec. room, Clark then came out.

"Hey fellas," the Kryptonian greeted, "Have either of you seen Bruce?"

"Why…?" Oliver said carefully.

"When I was cleaning up the barn, I found a video camera. I asked around and it's Tim's - he said he brought it with him last night."

"You found it?" Hal said, surprised. "Damn… I forgot we even had that with us…"

Oliver's eyes widened. "Does that mean we got everything that happened on film?"

"It's a possibility." Clark allowed. "Anyway, have you seen Bruce? Since all this was for him, he should be here when we see what's on it."

Hal and Oliver exchanged looks.

"Yeah… he's in his room." Hal said, his lips twitching as Oliver suddenly developed a slight cough.

Clark smiled. "Thanks." He said and walked off.

When he disappeared around the corner, Oliver turned back to look at Hal.

"We are very bad men – do you think we should have told him?"

Hal shook his head. "Nah, he'll figure it out on his own."

Once he got to Bruce's door, Clark knocked and waited for a few moments for a reply. When he didn't immediately get a response, he knocked again.

"Bruce?"

He listened closer and heard a muffled sound, but still no one came to the door.

Frowning, he typed in the access code Bruce had given him (which, mind you, he was only allowed to use in case of extreme emergencies). As the doors swung open, he took a step inside… only to stop dead in his tracks, his eyes growing comically large before he threw his hands over them.

"Dear Rao, my eyes!"

"What – K-Kal…!"

"What are you doing, Kent?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wanted to tell you I found a camera!"

"I don't care – get out!"

"But-"

"Oh, for the love of the gods-"

He barely had time to duck when a tiara flew straight at him.

Clark let out a yelp and ducked out of the room, frantically retyping in the code making the door slide shut.

Taking a minute or five to calm down, and to unsuccessfully shake the image of what he'd just seen out of his head, he took a deep breath and picked up Diana's tiara before putting it around the keypad next to the door as a warning (since there was no knob, he reasoned, he would have to improvise).

When he was done with that, with a face still very red, Clark then turned on his heels and calmly walked away from the door… only to break out into a run several feet on.

Elsewhere…

"So… basically, we got drunk off of magical liquor." Wally stated as he perched himself on the arm of the sofa in the League's rec. room.

Dick, sitting between him and Jason, nodded. "Looks like it."

"…And because of some weird side-effect of said magical liquor, we can't remember anything?"

Dick, again, nodded, "Yep."

The speedster's shoulders slumped. "Aw man…"

On one of the armchairs across from them, Zatanna grinned apologetically. "I'm really sorry guys," she said earnestly, "If I knew that would happen I would have tested it out first."

Wally stared at her owlishly, "You mean you didn't?"

"I was on a bit of a deadline," the magician said evasively.

"You could have poisoned us!" the speedster protested.

"Oh please, there was next to no chance of that happening… or, you know, it would have been highly unlikely. Anyway, the point is, you're all fine now and that's all that matters!"

John snorted before sitting between J'onn and Arthur on the long couch. "You could have at least warned somebody, you know." He said pointedly. "It scared the hell out of us when we walked into that bar and saw all of them acting like frat boys."

"It couldn't have been that bad, was it?" Dinah asked, one of Oliver's arms draped over her shoulders loosely.

"Are you sure you want the answer to that?" Hal asked as he leaned over the back of the sofa.

Oliver rolled his eyes. "It wasn't that bad." He reassured her.

"You're probably right, Ollie." Hal chimed in 'helpfully', "I mean, just take the video of you from Vegas I found on my phone. Now that was pretty cool."

Guy then burst out laughing.

Dinah turned to a rapidly paling Oliver. "What is he talking about?"

"Nothing," Oliver said quickly before glaring at the Green Lantern. "You didn't…"

Hal smirked. "Oh yes – your twelve and a half minutes of fame in all its high-resolution glory. And let me be the first to tell you sober, bravo."

"But, out of curiosity," Guy managed, just barely suppressing another laugh, "do we call you 'Oliver King' now?"

Oliver grounded his teeth together. "One more word out of you, you bowl-haired punk, and I'll put an arrow where the sun doesn't shine!"

"Bring it on, Superstar!"

Their exchange got a laugh out of everybody in the room.

As Oliver slumped back against the sofa with a huff, Dinah kissed his cheek and the sting was lessened somewhat.

"Since we're on the topic of videos," Dick grinned, "How you doing over there, Timmy?"

Standing over at the flat screen at the back of the room, Tim looked over his shoulder briefly as he linked his camera to the TV.

"Almost done, but are you sure you guys want to see what's on this?"

Arthur nodded firmly. "We've suffered enough; I say we see if that suffering was worth anything."

"The man makes a good point." Jason admitted.

"But what if we don't like what we see?" Wally asked.

"Then we destroy the evidence." J'onn said with a perfectly straight face and even tone.

Wally laughed until he realized the Martian was being serious. "Wait, really?" he blurted out.

"That sounds like a good idea." John agreed.

"Let's just watch first before we do anything rash," Dick said reasonably.

Kyle snorted. "I think that ship has sailed, Dick…"

Dick's shoulders slumped. "Oh, yeah… right."

At the same time, Clark then came drifting in as if in a daze.

"Supes," Wally said, "what took you? Didn't you find Bats?"

Clark visibly flushed as his mouth twitched strangely. "Uh… no, I found him. He was… busy." He said with a slight cough at the end.

"Are you okay?" Dick asked. "Your face is red."

Clark muttered an "I'm fine," under his breath before going over to sit next to J'onn.

Hal and Oliver exchanged discreet smirks, and when Dinah noticed this and she raised a questioning eyebrow Oliver winked at her.

"I'm done." Tim said suddenly.

"Finally," Jason said, sitting up in his seat. "Let's get this thing over with!"

There was a murmur of agreement around the room, and Tim pressed the play button on the camera before putting it down and went over to sit on the arm of the sofa.

At first, there wasn't anything but static… until the screen came to life and the first bar from the night before appeared on the screen …

Ten Minutes Later…

"…Oh my god…"

"Dude, are you serious?"

"I don't think I can ever un-see that."

"That's so awesome…"

Eventually…

When Bruce strolled out of his room some time later (a subtle spring in his step), his hair stood up at odd angles, his floral shirt was without most of its buttons, and he had a look on his face that implied, no, declared that he had been thoroughly ravaged and had enjoyed every minute of it.

He was damn near whistling when he came across Dick just outside the rec. room and found his eldest son pacing up and down the hall, his hand in his hair as he spoke over a phone, looking exasperated.

"No, I don't know who the Japanese guy with my phone is… I'm using Jason's cell…" He sighed heavily. "Yes, I know I'm an idiot… No, I did not do it on purpose… okay, fine, maybe there is a reason, but if you just let me explain… No, wait, don't hang up…!" With a defeated groan, he snapped the phone shut.

"That sounded interesting," Bruce commented, walking up to him.

Dick didn't immediately look up. "Interesting, humiliating, either way, I still kind of want to kind of shoot myself right…" He said, only to stop midsentence when he did eventually look up and saw the state Bruce was in. "…now." He blinked owlishly. "Well… I'm not going to ask where you were."

"It's probably better that way." Bruce agreed. "Barbara again?" he guessed.

Dick nodded meekly. "…Do you mind if I ask you something? I could seriously use some fatherly advice right about now."

Bruce's eyebrow quirked, amused, "Go for it."

"Are all women crazy?"

Oh, he was definitely amused now. "It depends – what did you do?"

He made another frustrated sound. "I sort of… drunk-dialed her last night…"

"It couldn't have been that bad."

"It is if you did it fifteen times…"

Bruce stared. "…That's… excessive."

"She won't even let me explain."

"If she won't let you, don't."

"That isn't going to help me, Bruce."

"That's because you didn't let me finish. The way I see it, if she won't listen you can either waste your breath trying to explain yourself, or ignore the whole thing… or, you could apologize."

"Just like that…?" Dick asked bleakly.

Bruce shrugged. "You asked for my advice, I gave it."

He sighed but offered a smile. "Thanks." Dick then cheered up a little. "…So, are you going in there?"

"That was the original idea… Is it bad?"

"More… unexpected,"

"How so…?"

A toothy grin broke out over Dick's face. "You should probably come and see it for yourself."

When the others saw Bruce, there was a strange moment of silence before all of them men suddenly started clapping ironically.

"Well done! Give the man a hand!" Hal jeered as Oliver wolf-whistled and Dinah rolled her eyes at the both of them.

Bruce couldn't even be bothered to care for their antics and went over to sit next to Clark on the couch. "What did I miss?" he said smoothly, smirking when he saw the Kryptonian's face flush.

There was a mixed response among everyone, and while Hal, Guy, Jason, and even Zatanna sniggered, the others looked somewhat uneasy – John just shook his head, Clark looked away, Wally muttered under his breath, J'onn looked more solemn than usual, and Arthur kept unusually quiet.

"Do you want the long version or the short one?" Oliver asked dryly.

"Surprise me."

Jason grinned broadly. "Okay, in a nutshell?" he then cleared his throat. "Flash is a lightweight," Wally squawked at this, "Superman really likes making speeches," Clark face-palmed, "And the Boy Wonder over here," he clasped Tim on the shoulder, "is actually a closet Green Lantern fan-boy."

There was another odd pause as Bruce turned his head to look at his youngest son.

Tim hissed at Jason. "I said don't say anything, you idiot!"

"And what do you mean 'lightweight'?" Wally protested.

"Do we need to show the footage again?" Guy asked dryly.

Wally's jaw clamped shut. "…No…" he grumbled, his shoulder slumping.

"Oh, yeah!" Jason said gleefully. "And you totally missed Aquaman freaking out in a sushi-bar."

"I didn't freak out, I merely stated my displeasure." Arthur said with a huff.

Guy laughed. "Yeah, right. You went all 'This is Sparta' on their asses and flooded the whole place!"

"That, and you had me and Bruce help you steal the fish tank." Hal said, laughing. "I'm not proud of what I did, but it was funny as hell."

"And I would have done so again!" Arthur said haughtily, standing up. "What they do to those poor fish is deplorable and barbaric! It would have been another slaughter if I hadn't intervened!"

"But, don't Atlantians eat their fish raw too?" Zatanna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That isn't the point," Arthur said quickly before John pulled him back down on the couch by the back of his shirt.

"…Okay then." Bruce said after a brief pause.

"You did ask," J'onn reminded him.

"My mistake." He said and then looked at Clark. "What's this about speeches?"

Dick barked out a laugh. "Ooh, can we show that part to him, please, Clark?"

The Kryptonian's shoulders slumped. "Do we have to?"

Several yeses chorused throughout the room and Clark groaned.

Tim grinned before rewinding the camera, the screen showing the bar they were at the previous night…

Clark is standing by the bar, the camera is slightly elevated and angled in a way that suggests that Tim is either behind the counter or sitting on it. "This… this is like, the best night of my life!" he slurs.

Bruce is in the shot as well, sitting in the stool next to Clark with his Hawaiian shirt swung over the back of the barstool, his face impassive… if not just a little red at that point. He doesn't immediately respond but he nods. "It's like high school all over again."

"I wouldn't know - Lana always got invited to the big parties, and Pete and me would just stayed home on a Friday night." Clark admits, his expression changing to one of indignation, "Those jerks always thought I was too boring! Me!"

Bruce nods again in sympathy.

"It's like watching a car crash," Olive commented. Hal laughed.

Clark sunk deeper into this seat.

"You're out of high school now." Tim reminds him from behind the camera.

Clark's face lit up. "You're right! I'm… I'm gonna show 'em! I can have fun! I can, dammit!" he says and then raises his glass in yet another toast. "To friendship!" he announces, "and- and matrimony! …And high school parties!"

Bruce, as an afterthought, "And tequila,"

"And tequila!" the Kryptonian parrots enthusiastically, making to sit… only to miss his chair entirely, disappearing out of sigh.

Bruce had his hand over his mouth.

"But wait," Dick grinned, "There's more."

Bruce blinks, his face blank as he stares down at Clark.

Tim again, "Missed it by that much."

Without warning, Bruce turns his head away as his shoulders start shaking, and with a loud snort, the indifferent mask on his face shatters, leaning back against his seat as he threw his head back as he laughed out of his stomach.

From out of sight, "A little help please…? I can't get up."

The dam broke at this. "But you just- you-" he gasped, and if anything Bruce's laughter grew even louder, almost falling off of his chair himself before crossing his arms over the counter and laughing into them.

Clark's face was red as everyone else laughed. When he heard a cough next to him, his head snapped in Bruce's direction.

"It wasn't that funny!" he protested.

The billionaire still had his hands in front of his mouth, but now it was used to smother his own laughter.

"I'm going to have to disagree, Clark," J'onn said, surprising him. "I don't believe I've ever seen Bruce in such high spirits before… And that is saying something."

To emphasize the point, Bruce turned his head away and chuckled into his hand, disguising it as a cough.

"Bruce!" Clark said, dismayed and sat back with a huff. "I wouldn't laugh too hard if I were you, you know."

"Why's that?" Bruce said dryly.

"While that might be… bad, it's nothing compared to what you did."

Needless to say, Bruce stopped laughing after that.

For the next half an hour, Bruce watched with both awe and utter, utter mortification as he, along with his sons and friends, ran around three cities and did idiotic, childish things on a whim… but mostly because they were drunk off their faces and bets were made.

In that time, Bruce had seen himself do at least a dozen shots with everyone, fall down on his face three times (one of which had been on purpose), do his 'Batman-voice' after being forced to inhale a helium balloon as part of a bet with Arthur (the fish-stealing bastard was still laughing at him).

He also drank far, far too much, won several hands of poker (plus the shirt off of Clark's back as revenge), and, much to his own horror, went up against J'onn in a round on one of those accursed dancing arcade games, again on a dare.

The Martian won, it was also where he fell down the first two times.

As far as the others went…

It turns out, Dick lost his phone when he, Wally, Kyle, Jason and Tim had separated from the main group for an hour to go to a busy Asian fusion restaurant/karaoke bar across the street from the first bar.

Singing was involved.

Kyle has his hand covering his face in embarrassment as he simultaneously tries to disappear beneath their table in the back. Jason, sitting next to him with a cell phone in his hands, doesn't even try to stifle his laughter anymore.

"Wanna know the best part?" he asked. "This isn't even my phone."

Kyle groaned and sunk even lower.

When he notices the camera on him, Jason grins and gives Tim a thumb-up before going back to recording what is happening on the other side of the room. The camera follows his line of sight, and as it does, it shows Dick and Wally on a small stage near the window, each with a microphone in hand.

Dick is seemingly oblivious to everything around him, eyes closed and face scrunched-up in either concentration or deep emotion as he crooned in a soulful voice about red dresses, red lights, and loose women.*

Wally, standing next to him with his arm over his shoulder, waving the hand holding his microphone over his head in sync with the music, also seemingly in a trance. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to be the only one, as a small group of restaurant patrons stood in front of the stage, lighters out and raised up while others sang along and cheered.

Dick caught the look on Jason's face and sighed.

"Just get it out in the open already, Jay..."

Jason smirked. "Wait for it. It'll come when the time's right."

Five minutes in, and Dick and Wally managed to get Kyle to sing three lines and half the chorus of a Brain Adams song (only to have him bolt off the stage when both of them joined it).

Jason left the table for few minutes to go to the bathroom and somehow came back with handful of fortune cookies and the number of the owner's daughter.

"Huh... 'You already know the answer to the questions lingering inside your head'..." he read the small piece of paper in his hands. "That was fairly pointless." he snorts before crumpling up the fortune and threw it over his shoulder and the cookie itself in his mouth.

Tim, almost shyly, "Can I have one...?"

Dick, Wally and Kyle came back, the Green Lantern's face a delicate shade of pink.

"That was horrible..."

"What? You were great!" Dick says enthusiastically, throwing his arm over his shoulder.

Wally nods and does the same. "Have some confidence!"

"I wasn't talking about my singing…" Kyle muttered under his breath.

Sometime after they left the restaurant, Kyle more than mildly uncomfortable now since neither Dick nor Wally had exactly let go of him yet and had taken to singing 80's rock classics obnoxiously loud while they walked down the streets, Dick then turned back to his brothers.

"Hey, Jay, you recorded what I asked, right?"

"I did, and I have it he-" he trails-off, patting down the side of his jacket. He blinks, the realization setting in, and then turned back to Dick. "You know what, when we get back to the bar, I'm buying us a round of shots. Whadya say?"

"...Can there be ones with the gummy bears in them...?"

"Sure... whatever you want, buddy."

Kyle turned to Wally. "I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why gummy bears?"

"Because everything is better with gummy bears." The speedster says matter-of-factly.

Dick nods solemnly, "True - up high, Wall-Man," and the two of them high-fived on it.

Both the Kyle on-screen and the Kyle in real-life face-palmed.

Dick looked at Jason. "Does you losing my phone in a bathroom cancel out what you want to say?"

"No, like I said before, it's all about timing." He then paused for a minute. "Then again…"

"Oh, here we go…"

"You were a little pitchy at the end there."

Dick sighed. "Do you feel better now?"

Jason smirked. "Yes, yes I do."

As far as the others went…

Wally, true to what Jason had said, didn't take liquor well, the video showing five different times where the speedster nearly choked because he'd underestimate the potency of the drink in his hand. He also broke five beer mugs, seven shot glasses, an expensive bottle of champagne, and his own cell phone, won several times at darts (Oliver was convinced he cheated), and finally, danced The Robot on three separate occasions (all, oddly enough, in Gotham…).

J'onn surprised everyone by turning out to be a bit of a player and made-out with four different women that night… which was impressive since he had barely said ten words between them all. The Martian also turned out to have a hidden talent when it came to blackjack and walked out of every casino they went in a few hundred dollars richer and just a little bit more smug every time.

…It was still unclear, however, when or where exactly the body-glitter or handcuffs came in, though…

Oliver was the self-acclaimed 'expert' when it came to bars, usually winning most of the drinking games, spouted out random facts about alcohol throughout the ages, and encouraged debauchery vehemently. It wasn't shown and Hal refused to say why Oliver decided to impersonate Elvis in the first place, but the Green Lantern promised to show the clip on his phone to anyone who asked - almost everyone did, much to the archer's dismay.

As for the Green Lanterns (who, as John had explained, arrived after the magical memory-altering alcohol had been consumed), their reactions ranged from a disapproving shake of the head (John), staring in bemusement (Kyle), and, naturally, laughing hysterically (Guy and Hal).

"Watch, watch," Hal said excitedly.

Arthur, Bruce and Hal are standing in a crowded street across from a restaurant with a huge fish tank in the window, several neon-lights in the shape of Asian kanji-symbols and a sign in English that read 'fresh sushi'.

"Man, it's been years since I had Chinese," Hal says thoughtfully.

"We can go in if you want, but you're paying." Bruce says matter-of-factly.

The space-cop looks scandalized. "What kind of billionaire friend are you?"

"The kind who doesn't have his wallet with him," Bruce smirks.

"How do you not have that?"

"Blame Kent and West – I must have left it in my other pants."

Behind the camera, Tim snickered.

As Hal curses, Arthur squints intently. "What is 'sushi'?" he asks abruptly.

As they explained, the Arthur-in-real-life made a face identical to the one on screen.

"Those barbarians!"

"And you… eat it?" Arthur says absurdly.

Hal looks at him strangely, "Uh… yeah?"

"With sticks." Tim adds.

"Watch, watch,"

"We get it, Hal."

"…On second thought," Hal says as he looks at Bruce, and the camera focuses on him, "let's get burgers instead."

"Hey," Tim says, the camera darting around, "Where did his Highness go?"

As Bruce and Hal look around, there is a sudden commotion from across the street.

"FIENDS!" a familiar voice shouts - the windows crack (but doesn't break) as people scream in foreign languages as water spill out onto the street by the gallons.

Bruce and Hal stared at each other before rushing over, Bruce hanging back for a moment to look at Tim. "Stay here!" he says and the two of them disappear into the restaurant.

There is more shouting.

Hal, "What the hell are you doing?!"

Arthur, "Quick! Gather what you can!"

Bruce, "What are you talking about?"

Arthur, again, "You're wasting time – here! Now run you fools!"

Tim turns the camera around so that he films himself. "…And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."

Tim flushed in embarrassment as several people laughed throughout the room.

"The best part is still coming," Hal said excitedly.

Hal stands at the end of a deserted pier, emptying a box-like construct of its live content into the water. Standing next to him, Arthur watches on almost mournfully while Bruce just shakes his head.

"And there we go, that's the last of them." Hal says, tipping the last of the fish into the harbor.

Arthur steps forward, bowing his head slightly. "Farewell brave souls, know that you all live to swim another day."

"Uh… Wow…" Hal whispers loudly.

Bruce doesn't answer, because as soon as Arthur turns back to them, the billionaire suddenly finds himself at the receiving end of a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, come on! First Clark, now you - what is the matter with you people?" he demands as Hal bursts out laughing.

"Ha! Looks like you're losing your street-cred, Bruce!"

"Shut up, Hal."

However, something lights up in Bruce's eyes and he says something to Arthur quietly.

The still-sniffing king nods, and lets him go… only to turn on a dime and grab Hal instead. The space-cop makes a strangling noise as Arthur practically lifts him off his feet.

Bruce smirks. "Ha."

"Really?"

Bruce nods and Hal's shoulders slump in defeat.

"There, there…" he says, awkwardly patting the Atlantian on the shoulder.

"Not my proudest moment," Hal admitted as laughter rang throughout the room. "But I still regret nothing."

It was Clark, however, who stole the show in the end as apparently, magical alcohol had a bigger effect on his personality than even red Kryptonite.

He accepted every dare thrown at him with the bravado of an over-eager fraternity initiate desperate to prove himself - the theft of the LuthorCorp logo being the pinnacle. He danced, he sang, he let strange women draw on him with lipstick, he gambled… even when he wasn't very good at it, and most of all, he made speeches.

The Clark on-screen had been in the middle of the more colorful ones about his newfound love for Red Bull and poker chips when Diana came into the room, at which time the Clark in real-life wanted to evaporate into thin air.

When the others saw her, the Amazon stared when everyone stopped watching and started clapping.

Aside, "Isn't it wrong, or sexist, or something of you to be doing that?" Kyle asked Zatanna as the magician whooped.

"It's not sexist if you're a girl, but right now just shush and clap, cutie." She said matter-of-factly, winking at him.

Diana raised an eyebrow. "Okay then…" She said and walked over to sit next to Bruce.

Out of the corner of Bruce's eye, he caught Dick whispering something in Tim's ear. The teenager grinned broadly and then fast-forwarded the footage.

Bruce leans heavily on John as the Green Lantern has one of his arms slung over his shoulder.

"I think you've had enough, pal." John says, his own cheeks flushed.

"At least I won." Bruce then calls over his shoulder, "And I expect to find my money in the mail!"

Clark, out of view, "I don't know how, but you cheated!"

"Pay up or shut up, Kent." Bruce says smugly.

Clark grumbles something but it is barely heard over the loud, thumping club music.

John just shakes his head before beckoning Kyle over. "Help me out for a minute, kid." Kyle appears and supports Bruce from the other side.

Dick, the one now behind the camera, laughs. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the man of the night, Bruce Wayne!"

John snorted. "I'm sure he'd take a bow if he could… and not fall over if he did. Again." He says wryly.

Bruce grins toothily, not offended in the least. "Right you are."

"Got anything you want to say to the camera, Bruce?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno - any regrets?"

Without missing a beat. "None."

"That he knows of…" Guy said with a loud whisper.

"Shh," Dinah said sharply, "We're going to miss the good part."

Bruce rolled his eyes.

Dick, "Really?"

Bruce nods. "I can't change the past. And I don't think I'd want to." he looks thoughtful for a minute. "No… I don't think I have anything to regret. I've done a lot in my life, and it wasn't all bad… I mean, I have you, and Tim and Jason. I have Alfred. And I have all of these guys… even though…" he looks at Kyle, "I'm not exactly sure who you are again - aren't you that new Lantern John's been talking about?"

"You're regressing, Bruce." John says, looking like he was about to laugh.

"Oh… right." Something in his eyes visibly melted. "And I have Diana, and in a few months, I'll have a daughter too… so…" He trails off, looking oddly distant for a moment as if deep in thought.

Dick, again, "We lost you for a second there, Dad."

Bruce, "…I think I might have had too much. But, to answer your questions, Dick, no, I've done a lot of stupid stuff, but I don't regret any of it."

John nods approvingly. "Good for you, man. But why don't we get some fresh air?"

As if one in mind, almost everyone turned to look at the billionaire.

"Aww…" Zatanna said obnoxiously loud as Guy and Hal disguised their snickering as bad coughs. Oliver kept his mouth shut only because of the look Dinah shot him.

Clark had a silly grin on his face. "That was sweet, Bruce."

Diana was beaming at him, and Bruce bit back whatever retort he had for the Kryptonian when she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

He did, however, glare at Hal who had an insufferable grin on his face.

"Jordan…" he growled as a warning. He was not losing his street cred, dammit…

"Give me this one, Bruce. Besides, I'm hurt. I had to find out about your kid over a video, for god's sake. Congrats!"

"How much longer is this going to be on for?" Diana asked, her smile widening as Bruce grumbled under his breath.

"Another half an hour," Dick said, grinning.

Bruce sighed. "Perfect."

Some Time Later…
Clark's Apartment

Clark let out a exhausted sigh as he reached the door to his apartment that night. As much fun as the previous night was - and, if the video was anything to go on, it truly was - he was relieved to be back home.

Once he finished fishing out his keys and opened the door, he wasn't too surprised to find Lois lounging on his couch, hair loose and slightly wet from a shower, sitting slightly hunched over as she was busy typing on her laptop. She was already in her PJ's, which Clark took to mean that she was spending the night again.

Lois didn't immediately notice him, completely focused on her writing, stopping every once too often as she thought of what she was going to say next, muttering corrections under her breath.

It was rare to catch her off-guard like this, and as he stood there, it suddenly dawned on Clark just how much he liked seeing her there.

The realization caught him like a punch to the stomach from Doomsday, but didn't scare him nearly as much as he thought it would.

When Lois did finally see him, she sat up straight and put her computer on the coffee table.

"Clark," she began as he closed the door behind him.

"Is that nearly finished?" he asked, walking over to her.

"Yeah, I just need to check a few things. Perry wants this tomorrow at noon, but- wait… what are you doing?"

Without another word, Clark walked over to the couch and picked her up bridal-style.

"Clark…?"

"You can finish that in the morning."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "What's gotten into you?"

Clark just shook his head. "Nothing really. It's just been a long day."

"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" she asked, putting her arms around his neck. "You had me worried, you know. It sounded like you killed somebody."

"Well, it's nothing as bad as that… but I'm still probably going to have to move."

When he got to the bedroom, Clark balanced Lois's weight easily with one hand as he reached with the other to turn the handle.

"To the North Pole?" Lois asked dryly.

"Actually, I heard Hawaii is pretty nice this time of year." He said, putting her down on top of the bed.

"You know you're going to have to explain all of that to me at some point, don't you?" she said as Clark laid down next to her.

"I figured that much."

Lois smiled despite herself and laid down as well, turning on her side so that she could look at him better.

Clark's arms snaked around her, and she relaxed when he pulled her close, pressing a quick kiss to his lips when he settled. "Good. Just so we're on the same page."

They didn't say anything for a while, and when Lois reached up and started running her fingers down his face, Clark felt his eyes start to droop.

"You okay, Smallville?" she asked, her hand resting on his cheek.

He smiled back at her. "Yeah… I am now."

Meanwhile…
The Kent Farm

Given the odd way their morning started, Jonathan Kent found that wasn't too surprised that night when he heard Martha gasp sharply. Looking away from the small television on the counter and over at the sink, he found his wife standing several feet back with her hands clutched over her heart while the camel had her head stuck through the open window.

The farmer blinked owlishly when it made that strange bleating-grunt sound again.

"It's the third time she's done that already," Martha said, slightly breathless.

Jonathan stood up and ushered his wife to sit down at the table. "Why don't I do the dishes tonight?" he bargained.

Martha nodded weakly. "Jonathan, will you…?"

"I'll take her back… Again."

"Did Clark happen to mention how long she'll be staying?"

Jonathan shook his head. "He didn't."

She sighed. "Well then, in that case, I suppose I'll just have to get use to that, won't I?"

"I'll put her in the barn tonight." He said and went out of the back door.

The camel (Jonathan had secretly been referring to her as Doreen), despite being far taller than the farmer, seemed to have taken a liking to him and followed after him like a well-trained dog.

When they got to the barn, the camel allowed Jonathan to herd her into one of the stalls and made no other moves to get out.

"There we go," he said, closing the door behind her. "Now, let's see if you'll stay put for a while, mm?"

The camel grunted and made to nuzzle him. Jonathan, in turn, chuckled and rubbed her nose.

Then, "Jonathan-!"

Startled by Martha's voice, Jonathan rushed out of the barn, closing it tightly behind him before making his way over back to the house.

When he got to the door, "Martha?" he began.

Martha just waved him over to the table and then pointed at the television.

Rightfully bewildered at that stage, when Jonathan turned to look at the screen, he could only stand and stare as, meanwhile the announcer continued her story on a series of strangely-shaped crop circles that had appeared overnight on farms in and around Smallville.

Slowly, letting out a sigh, Jonathan sat down next to his wife and shook his head.

The image on screen, taken by a helicopter, showing a gigantic, yet all too familiar, s-shaped shield, branded against a cornfield.

Alan:
I'm actually a part of this weird wolf pack. Hey, it's not weird it's pretty cool actually, no membership fees.
- The Hangover II

[last lines]
Doug Billings:
We look at these pictures together, OK? One time. And then we delete the evidence.
Stu Price:
I say we delete it right now.
Phil Wenneck:
Are you nuts? I want to find out how I went to the hospital. Is that in there?
Alan Garner:
Yeah it's in there!
Doug Billings:
Guys, one time. Deal?
Phil Wenneck:
Deal!
Stu Price:
Deal.
Alan Garner:
OK.
[the four of them look into the camera]
Stu Price:
Oh dear Lord!
Alan Garner:
That's classic!
- The Hangover

A/N: Random, I know, and I'll bet my firstborn that there will be typos, but for now, I'm done. I'm letting all of you fill in the cracks for yourselves, not only because I have faith in your imagination, but because I really didn't have anything else to say now.

*FYI, I was thinking of Jesse McCartney, the singer and the of Robin/Nightwing on the cartoon, Young Justice, and then about the song Roxanne by The Police. One thing lead to another, and I ended up thinking about Jesse McCartney SINGING Roxanne... and happily melted to pudding whilst doing so (*swoon*).

So, abracadabra, we have Dick singing!

On a completely different note, for those of you who are interested in knowing why I took so long, like I said above, I was swamped with school work for the last few months. Also, while I was trolling the interwebs for inspiration for this chapter, I stumbled onto several chat-sites about New 52 and the possibility of there ever being a WonderBats romance in the new universe… and the possibilities are bleak (BOO). However, I then went on DeviantArt and got a crap-load of WonderBat fan-art on my I-Pad, and my faith has been restored!

…Also, Fan-Boys are vicious, vicious creatures, aren't they? My god… not only that, but one second they were talking about Bats and Wondy, next thing, they're going on about Batman's apparently latent homosexuality for nearly three pages!

Lastly - two questions to anyone who minds telling me:

1. What happened to Wally in the new comic-verse?

2. (And please, don't think I'm being a perv), but has Wonder Woman and Superman ever… you know… in their comic? I refuse to read it, but I am curious - it does raise a lot of questions…

Review-Wise…

Screw it, I'm doing this all at once.

To all of you who has reviewed, thank you very, very much! Gracias, Dankie, Applause-Applause, and all that jazz! A Superman-hug for each of you!

BUT, if there is a question-question somewhere in-between all of those, if they're urgent, just drop me a PM, I'll answer everything you can throw at me… most of the time.

And dear Flamers…Do. Your. Worst. I dare- no, I triple-da-dare you!

Peace out, Live long and go boldly, or whatever!
GoddessofDawn out!