Summary: (BM/WW Wedding-fic) When Batman finally gathers the courage to ask Wonder Woman to marry him, the Dark Knight gets more than he bargained for when the entire League decided to pitch in and help plan their impending nuptials – contains fluff, random humour, a temperamental Amazon princess, drunken bachelor-party escapades, and various attempts on Superman's life!
A/N: I've had sooooo much coffee… I've fallen off of the caffeine wagon I'm afraid, but it was worth it as it helped me write the last stretch I've been having difficulty with.
Anyway… … … Guess what's coming next…
…C'mon, guess.
This my special somewhat belated Valentine's Day (aka Single Awareness Day) gift to you all, and I think we can all agree it kicks the hell out of roses (whether it does so with chocolate is debatable however).
Enjoy xxx
Disclaimer: 9, 9, 9 - super-mega props if you get this in one go (Hint: think like an angry German)… randomness aside, needless to say, I don't own anything you're familiar with.
Bridezillas & Kryptonite
~Chapter Seventeen~
Part One
The Wedding:
White Wedding (Start Again)
There was a breathless, tense moment and the tight fluttering in Diana's chest felt like the wing-beats of countless nervous butterflies as her heart raced and pounded.
Alfred squeezed her hand. "Steady breaths, Miss." He reminded her gently.
The Amazon's iron grip on his arm tightened.
If she hurt him Alfred chose not to let it show, and he smiled at her encouragingly.
"Are you ready?"
Diana nodded firmly, keeping her eyes firmly on the ground. "Let's go."
Alfred nodded just as the wedding march began in full-swing.
Heads turned as everyone stood up, and while Diana was aware of the many eyes on her she kept her gaze down at first until she felt Alfred squeeze at her hand again. She saw him smiling in amusement, he then silently gestured ahead with a small tilt of his chin.
Diana looked up and her breath caught and every nervous impulse she had vanished from her thoughts in less than a heartbeat.
Bruce stood there waiting at the end of the aisle with his side turned to her until Clark nudged him with his elbow. When he turned his head and saw her, something close to blatant astonishment crossed over his face - Diana would have found this funny if she herself wasn't struck dumb by the genuine smile that followed.
For her part, she was now seriously rethinking her earlier dismissal of Bruce's plan to run away to Las Vegas and elope, and had to remind herself that it would look unseemly if she sprinted the rest of the way and dragged poor Alfred with her.
Remarkably, she kept a steady pace, keeping her eyes locked with Bruce's and oblivious to everything else until she finally reached the end of the aisle.
Diana briefly tuned back to Alfred and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." She whispered, and the older man's blue eyes turned suspiciously bright.
"No, my dear, thank you." He said, letting his arm drop when he turned to shake Bruce's hand. The two of them shared a look and a nod before Alfred went and took his seat next to Tim and Jason in the front row.
She looked around briefly, nodding at a giddy-looking Shayera when she handed over her bouquet and grinned back at Clark when the Kryptonian winked at her and smiled broadly.
When Bruce offered his hand, Diana took it without a moment's hesitation and laced her fingers through his. This was finally happening.
"You are breathtaking." He said, and Diana beamed at him.
Almost reluctantly to do so, they turned their attention away from each other when the music came to a spectacular finish and the minister cleared his throat.
"Please be seated." He said, smiling warmly. Once everyone sat down and a respectful hush fell over the area, he started the ceremony. "Beloved friends, family, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Bruce Wayne and Princess Diana of Themyscria in the lasting bonds of matrimony, and on behalf of the bride and groom, I welcome you all.
"Before we begin, however, I was asked to say a few things first. Marriage is based on many things; trust, compromise, honesty and sacrifice. But most of all a good marriage, the marriage that lasts, is centered around love.
"Love isn't always easy, it never is - it has the ability to make us blind, make us weak, but without it, none of us would be here."
At some point during the minister's speech, Diana noticed Clark looking around himself and how his brows had knitted together. When he noticed she had noticed, he met her curious stare with a confused frown and a subtle shake of the head.
Bruce must have seen this too as he raised his eyebrow at both of them.
Diana squeezed his hand in reassurance and tried her best to focus on what the minister was saying.
However, as she did, she started hearing… it - what exactly was unclear. It was like a hum, a low-frequency buzz she couldn't place.
She turned her head subtly and looked around herself, seeing there was some unease among the meta guests with advanced hearing. When she looked back at Clark, he was visibly tense.
Diana then felt a slight tug on her hand. Bruce was frowning at this point, and although she knew he couldn't hear it, she could tell he noticed the sudden tension in the air as well.
"Diana?" the minister's voice said, making her head snap up and she turn her attention back to what was in-front of her.
"Mmm…? What?"
There was some muttering amongst the guests at this.
The minister cleared his throat. "I'll ask again. Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Startled that she had missed the first time the minister had said this, Diana just opened her mouth when an unnaturally strong breeze seemed to blow in from no particular direction.
The noise grew louder until the point that and uneasy murmur went through the rows and the guests started to notice and look around themselves in confusion.
There were loud gasps and a shriek, all eyes turning upward as a gigantic shadow suddenly fell over the whole area, blocking out the sun.
Diana's head shot up only to shield her eyes, blinded by red light.
~8 Hours Earlier~
08:00 AM
Carrying a silver breakfast tray as he made his way down the halls towards the master bedroom, Alfred hummed under his breath, a smile fixed firmly in place on his face where it would stay.
When he opened the door and peered inside, however, he found the bed empty, made and obviously not slept in.
Closing the door behind him again, Alfred noticed the door to the nursery down the hall standing open. Taking the hint, he went over where he found Bruce sitting in the rocking chair turned towards the east-facing window.
Bruce seemed to be deep in thought until he heard Alfred knocking against the door.
"I see you're up already," the butler said mildly, amused despite the stern look he gave him. "Dare I hope you've slept at all last night?"
Bruce smiled slightly. "If you don't want to know the answer, Alfred…"
He shook his head in fond exasperation. "Oh, Bruce…"
The younger man turned his head back towards the window.
"It's really happening." He said quietly, thoughtfully, more to himself.
"It is indeed."
"And not a day too soon?" Bruce asked wryly.
"More like a bloody minute," Alfred said and cleared his throat slightly when Bruce raised an amused eyebrow, adding a "sir," for good measure.
When he handed over the tray, Bruce accepted it without protest. "Is anyone else up already?" he asked, balancing it on his lap and picked up a piece of toast.
"When I came down, I found Master Grayson in the kitchen. In fact, he's the one you should be thanking for breakfast this morning."
Bruce stopped mid-bite before carefully looking over the tray - the toast had a layer of crust that leaned towards black than brown, the eggs were suspiciously wobbly, and the bacon seemed to have met a similar fate as the bread.
"As for the others," he continued, smiling slightly and pretending he didn't see Bruce poke the egg yolk with his fork experimentally, "I would assume most of them are still sleeping." He said just as the sound of the doorbell in front rang and echoed down the hall.
"I'll go get that, and you best eat up, Master Bruce." He advised, turning to leave. "It's going to be quite the eventful day."
When Alfred reached the entrance hall, he was surprised when he opened the door and found a haggard-looking man in a crisp navy suit with a bright yellow floral-patterned dress shirt underneath, a woman with a ledger standing on the doorstep and a small army of men and woman with flowers, glassware, silverware and table linens.
Despite the dark crescents underneath his eyes, the man smiled at the butler brightly.
"Mr. Pennyworth?" he said before holding out his hand to shake Alfred's. "Hi, yes, to start off, I've heard the legends. My name's Jacques Patterson - I'm the wedding planner?"
"Ah, so I see, and likewise," Alfred said, the two of them shaking on it. "I didn't expect you to be here so early, but I take it you're here to set up?"
"We are. I hope this isn't inconvenient, technically we're only supposed to be here at nine - I know we should have called earlier."
Alfred nodded. "That's quite alright." He said and stepped aside.
Patterson nodded and gave him a grateful look before turning around to face his workers.
"Alright, listen up people," he said matter-of-factly, a steely, if slightly maniacal glint entering his eyes, "You know what you have to do, do not disappoint me.
"Lloyd!" he barked with the ferocity of a small, hyperactive dog. "You and you're men are on floral arrangements for the entire west wing of this place - that means upstairs and downstairs. Bill! You and yours are doing the east - if I find a single lily, a single orchid, a single goddamn sprig of baby's breath out of place, all your heads will be on my mantel by the end of the day, are we clear?"
Several pairs of eyes widened in alarm while others nodded earnestly.
"Fiona! When I walk into that back garden, I want to be enchanted- No! I want to be dazzled to the point that I think I'm actually seeing stars. Willis! Take my breath away when I see that reception. Petra! Samantha! Leonie! You're the gals who are going to make sure everyone here hauls ass when I'm not around. Keep this lot on their toes, ladies."
He then looked at everyone else. "We've got six hours - six hours - to transform this wedding into a spectacle that will make a European princess weep with envy. Weep! It's a lot of pressure, but think of why we're here and who we're doing this for - you're the best at what you do, you know it, I know it, that's why I chose you all to yell at. Now scram!"
The workers all nodded before walking through the door, all immediately splitting into groups and going off in different directions.
Patterson then turned back to Alfred, smiling brightly again. "It's going to be a good day. A good day. Everything will turn out perfectly." He said like chanting a mantra before going inside.
His assistant, Margret, gave the butler an apologetic look. "You'll have to excuse him, Mr. Pennyworth, he hasn't been sleeping well lately."
Alfred nodded. "Ah…" he said. "Well, regardless, he's certainly very…"
"Loud? Aggressive? Borderline manic?" Margret offered like she had heard it all before.
"I was going to say enthusiastic, but an argument could be made for those too I suppose."
"You don't know half of it."
Then, "Margret! I need assisting! And a cappuccino!"
She sighed patiently, but with a small nod in Alfred's direction, went after her boss.
Meanwhile…
Donna tinkered with the setting on her camera as she stood outside of one of the guest bedrooms on the other side of the Manor in the West Wing.
Once she was satisfied, she knocked once - when she didn't hear an immediate response, she opened the door and stepped inside.
"Diana?" she said, arching a brow in amusement when the shape beneath the covers of the bed moved and curled up.
Smiling to herself, the younger Amazon crept over, setting the camera aside for now on the antique dresser before moving over to the other side of the bed and crawled to her sister.
"Diana?" she said, slightly louder, nudging at what she assumed was her sister's leg.
She got a muffled sound in reply, and when she pulled away the covers, she grinned as Diana attempted to bury her face deeper into her pillow, and began poking the older Amazon in the sides playfully.
A lazy hand swatted her intruding fingers away. "Mmm-mh…" Diana replied, and turned onto her back, draping her arm over her eyes.
"Diana!" she laughed.
When the Diana reluctantly moved her arm, she made a face.
"Are you going to stay in bed all day?" Donna teased.
With some effort and more prodding, Diana sat up and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. "What are you…?" she began.
"Guess what day it is." She said in a sing-song voice.
Slow on the up-taking at first, Diana blinked several times before the realization dawned on her quite suddenly.
Wide awake now, her and Donna's eyes met before Diana promptly attacked her sister with a hug.
"I thought that would get your attention!" Donna laughed and hugged her back just as tightly.
"What time is it?" Diana asked, suddenly looking out of the window for some indication.
"Relax, we still have the whole morning in front of us. Besides, we don't need to start getting ready until eleven." She reassured her, sitting back out of her embrace.
"And the others?"
"In the house? Most still in their PJ's last time I saw." She admitted. "As for Mother and our sisters, well, I think they forwent training this morning."
Diana nodded, somewhat relieved. "That's good to hear." She said until her eyes caught something on the pillow next to her - turning her head for a better look, she discovered a lily the colour of an open flame laying there.
She took the flower and smiled softly.
Donna watched the whole thing with amusement. "You still have it bad."
"Today's the day." She said quietly.
"It is, and it should be… interesting. Let's hope Mother won't stage a coup before the reception."
"She'll hold off until the cake-cutting before she tries anything, I'm sure."
"You should probably warn Bruce about that… just in case if you two are going to do that thing they do at weddings and shove cake in each other's faces. We wouldn't want that to an act of war, now would we?"
"I don't know, but Hera help us should she send warriors!" Diana laughed. "The cake tasting with Shayera was bad enough."
Donna giggled.
"Well," a different voice said, coming from the door, "that looks promising."
Both Amazons turned to see a grinning Dick Grayson - clad in slippers, blue plaid sweatpants and an old Superman t-shirt - standing at the door, carrying a tray.
"I come baring breakfast for the bride-to-be." He explained. "Made with love by yours truly."
"Word to the wise," Donna said dryly, "I recommend you avoid the eggs if you're squeamish."
"Hey, I worked hard on those!" he pouted.
Diana smiled at him. "You didn't have to do that."
"Of course I did." he said cheerfully, handing the tray over, "You're marrying the old man, if it were up to me you'd be getting a medal."
"Dick!" she laughed.
"What? I'm completely serious!" Dick said, noticing Donna's camera on the dresser and took it.
"Ooh, hand that over here! We need photos." Donna said eagerly, waving him over.
"Donna, no, I just woke up-" Diana began to protest.
"Just one, please? Besides, you look great." Dick said smoothly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Now say cheese."
Donna put her arms loosely around his neck, smiling broadly when he turned the camera around.
Diana sighed but relented and, setting her breakfast aside for a moment, mimicked her sister's pose, even pressing a kiss to Dick's cheek.
Grinning like a sap, Dick held out the camera in front of them. "This one is so going on the internet later." He said and took the picture.
14:00 PM
In a matter of hours, the usual elegant dark, gothic exterior and interior of Wayne Manor was systematically transformed from the inside out.
Every curtain was drawn, every window was open as light streamed in while workers moved around through the halls with purpose getting everything in place on time for the main event.
By the time the first of the guests arrived, there was no open space that wasn't done up in white or adorned with flowers, no surface that wasn't practically gleaming, no part of the mansion that looked no less than utterly spectacular.
Standing by the front doors, doing his part in welcoming whoever arrived, Alfred looked up when he heard the familiar whirling sound of a helicopter and frowned when he saw one circling over the Manor like a vulture.
Tim, already dressed, walked up beside him. "How many does that one make it now?"
"In this hour alone, I've counted four." Alfred admitted.
The teenager shook his head. "We're lucky nobody's crashed into each other then."
"Lucky indeed! I suspect they're making turns… although, now that I think about it, that one seems rather more persistent than the others - I've seen it fly overhead several times already."
"They're still making a racket though." Tim said with a frown. "The ceremony's in two hours."
Alfred nodded. "Quite. It's a shame we can't just go and ask them to leave."
"Yeah, too bad we can't just fly up there and-"
The moment he said it, both Tim and Alfred turned towards each other simultaneously.
Tim then cleared his throat. "Excuse me for a minute, Alfred. I've got to…"
The butler nodded and chuckled. "You do that, lad."
Meanwhile, in the very helicopter circling the Manor…
Patrick adjusted heavy video camera on his lap awkwardly, muttering under his breath as he fiddled with the tight straps of his seatbelt and mentally questioning his choice of profession.
"You ready?" Marko, the pilot asked, briefly looking over his shoulder at him.
"Don't see what's the point." He mumbled.
"Well, the boss wanted us to check again, so we're checking again." The older man then raised an eyebrow. "What, do you want to take your chance with the other smucks down on the ground see if we can get in?"
He snorted. "Not a chance - the security at the gate's crazy."
"What did you expect? This is Bruce Wayne we're talking about. Nobody's getting in without an invitation."
Patrick sighed. "Fine. Open her up, Mark."
The pilot complied and the side doors slid open.
With a small grunt, Patrick set the camera, taking a minute to adjust to the bulky weight of it before leaning out slightly, looking down.
"Bring her around to the front."
"Will do, kid." Marko said and complied.
When the helicopter circled back to the front, Patrick scanned the grounds.
"See anything now?"
"Same old, same old - a couple of cars that probably cost more than my mom's house and ant-people." He said and looked up briefly. "Think there's a chance we can get closer?"
"Doubt Wayne would appreciate it if we landed on his front lawn."
"You're killing me."
Before anything else could happen, however, a strong breeze suddenly rocked the helicopter, and faster than Patrick could react, the camera on his shoulders slipped and fell out over the edge.
"What- Crap!" Patrick swore in a flurry of hands. "No!"
Marko winced. "Yeah… that's coming out of your pay."
Patrick shot him a dirty look at the back of his head. "That's not helping!"
"Well, what are we going to do now?"
Then…
"Drop something, boys?"
Both men visibly started when they heard a new, feminine voice speak up. When Patrick looked back outside, he gasped.
"Holy-"
Literally three feet away them, dressed to the nines in a flowing, navy blue bridesmaid's dress and her hair done up in an intricate braid, was Hawkgirl in the flesh, and, as if that wasn't enough to blow his mind, like a honest to goodness angel sent down from cameraman heaven, she had his camera in her hands.
"This is yours then?" she asked, holding it out for him.
Utterly gob-smacked, Patrick nodded numbly and took it from her.
"T-thanks!"
"No problem, but now, if you don't mind, can you guys do me a favour and not fly over so much? We're almost starting and the chopper's pretty loud."
Patrick smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry about that."
He then caught the look Marko gave him before clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Oh, right! Uh, Hawkgirl? Just before you go, can we maybe, I don't know, get your autograph?"
Marko nodded earnestly. "Yeah, my kid loves you!"
The Thanagarian arched an eyebrow at them, green eyes bright with amusement.
"You guys don't sound like you're from Gotham." She noted.
"No ma'am. We're from Central City." Marko said.
"That's a long way just for a story." She said dryly.
"It's not every day a superhero gets married. Besides, our boss wanted to take a shot and we didn't want to disappoint her, so…" Patrick explained lamely.
Hawkgirl looked at them for a full minute before smiling.
"Tell you what," she said, crossing her arms over her shoulders. "If you're still here later, I'll see what I can do and maybe I can talk to someone about getting you and your boss through the gate. You can get your autographs then too."
Patrick's eyes widened. "You'd do that?"
She shrugged. "Sure, and, hey, if you can tell the guys at the gate to cool their jets for a while until the ceremony's done I'd appreciate it."
"I don't know if they'd listen to us, but we can try." Marko said earnestly.
Hawkgirl nodded at them, and with a few strokes of her wings, she backed away from the helicopter.
"You look great by the way!" Patrick called out.
She laughed and with a wave, flew back to the large house.
It took several minutes to comprehend what just happened, but when Marko looked back at Patrick, he cocked his eyebrow when he saw the expression on the younger man's face.
"What's the matter with you?"
"I'm getting a raise!"
Marko snorted in amusement before turning back to the controls. "The boss is going to be steamed she missed this, though." He mused and steered the helicopter back to the ground.
"Oh yeah," Patrick laughed. "Still - Linda's going to freak!"
15:00 PM
With the Groomsmen…
Oliver appraised himself one last time in the mirror, nodding in satisfaction before turning to the others.
"Gentlemen-" he began, and Lois cleared her throat as she busied herself tying Clark's bowtie, "and Lady Lane - we've officially brought sexy back."
John snorted in amusement as he pulled on his tuxedo's jacket.
"Damn right." Dick agreed with a laugh, fixing his cufflinks.
Wally joined the archer in front of the mirror and admired the view. "We look like superspies." He said, and then, almost seriously, "West - Wally West." He did this whilst touching his chin and waggled his eyebrows.
Oliver smirked. "Shaken, not stirred, right?"
The redhead shuddered. "No, never again…" There was a murmur of agreement around the room.
Lois looked at Clark questioningly.
The Kryptonian just shook his head. "Don't ask."
"You know, you still haven't told me exactly what happened that night," she said wryly.
Clark laughed awkwardly. "It's a long story…" he said lamely.
"Don't worry. There's a video." Oliver said obnoxiously.
Clark made a choking, protesting sound as Lois raised an eyebrow.
"Really? He didn't mention that." She said and gave him an amused, pointed look.
Clark looked over at the blond man and frowned.
"That was mean, Ollie…"
The blond billionaire barked out a laugh before going back to smoothing back his hair.
He then turned back to his girlfriend. "Lois-" he began.
She rolled her eyes, cutting him off by standing on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.
"Honey, relax. It's not the worst thing that's ever happened." she said dryly. "But you are showing me that video later."
The way she said it left no room for argument and Clark sighed in resignation. "Yes ma'am."
She ran her hands over the lapels of his jacket, smoothing it down, regarding him with obvious approval. "You know, you clean up pretty good, Smallville." She said, resting her hands just over his heart.
Clark's expression softened and put his hands on her waist gently. "It's the suit."
"Nope, it's all you… but it's a damn fine look on you, I'll give you that much."
He chuckled. "Thanks, Lois."
She then pulled back slightly to dig in her purse. "Before we forget." She said and pulled out a spare pair of his glasses, and put it on for him. "Just to complete the look."
Once the glasses were in place, Clark reached up and adjusted it slightly automatically.
"I'm going to go check up on Diana and the others," Lois said, pressing another quick kiss to his lips this time, and stepped back. "But I'll see you downstairs later, okay?"
Clark smiled and reluctantly let her go, watching her as she left the room. It was also at that point, when he turned back to the others, that he noticed the way they were staring at him.
"What?" he asked, feeling vaguely uncomfortable under their scrutiny.
"Ten bucks say he'll cave before dinner." Wally said with a grin.
Dick took his hand and they shook on it. "I'll take that bet."
"What are you talking about?"
"You got the look." John said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned towards the Kryptonian. "And before you start denying anything, Clark, I've been there - I'd know."
Clark blinked until his shoulders slumped. "Oh, come on - it's not that obvious, is it?" he protested.
Dick laughed. "Only if you were blind."
"Make that blind, deaf and stupid… but even then, it was pretty obvious." Oliver said dryly.
"So, when are you planning to…?" John asked.
"Not today." Clark admitted. "Today's about Bruce and Diana - I'm not going to take away from that."
"Hey, speaking of Bruce," Oliver said suddenly, changing the subject, "Shouldn't he be here with us getting ready or something? I haven't seen him in a while. "
"I did," Dick said, "I passed him in the hall earlier, he said he's going to do a last minute check up on a few things down in the Cave."
"He's cutting it a little close, isn't he?" John asked, looking at his watch.
"Good point," Dick allowed. "Maybe someone should go get him."
"I'll go." Clark volunteered. "Don't worry, Dick, I'll make sure we're there before Diana walks down the aisle."
The younger man nodded. "You're a good guy, Supes."
Clark laughed. "You know it."
In the Batcave…
Bruce was in front of the Batcomputer standing over the console, looking through the security feeds from both Arkham Asylum and Blackgate Prison, frequently circling back to certain of the inmates just to be sure.
So far, there were no immediate signs of a mass break-out… that he picked on.
When he heard footsteps, he looked up to see Clark coming down the stairs, and acknowledged his arrival with a small nod before turning back to the screen.
The Kryptonian just smiled. "Somehow, I'm not surprised you're down here." He said dryly.
Bruce smirked. "This is me, we're talking about, Clark."
He hummed and walked up next to him. "True, at least you're dressed. One less thing to worry about." He mused and looked at the screen. "So… I take it everything's peaceful?" he ventured carefully.
"For now. Probably won't last though." Bruce said casually.
"Happy thoughts, man - you're getting married in less than an hour." Clark joked.
Just then, the screen showed the inside of a heavily padded white cell and an all-too familiar deathly-pale figure stalked around like a restless animal.
When the figure disappeared out of sight for a moment, a pair of demented looking, acid-green to reappear up close and almost magnified.
Clark actually shivered. "Yikes…"
"You stick with your monsters, and I'll stick with mine." Bruce said dryly.
"I can do that. So… uh, not that I'm saying he will or anything, or that I'm being doubtful, but how long do you think he'll stay in there?" When he saw the look Bruce gave him, he smiled sheepishly. "He's got a track record. Even I know that."
Bruce had to give him that one. "If we're lucky? A long while."
"And if we're not?"
"I didn't take you for a pessimist, Boy Scout."
"You're rubbing off on me."
Bruce snorted. "God forbid." He said, standing up straight, still looking at the screen and narrowed his eyes slightly. "But… as for him, with all the added tech and security measures I added to his cell, he won't be going anywhere."
Clark nodded. "That's good then." There was then a long pause before he spoke again. He then chuckled. "You know… I just realize something."
"What?" Bruce asked offhandedly.
"You do that with me sometimes."
This got his attention, and he turned his head towards him. "What are you talking about?"
"It's not a big deal, but I've noticed that whenever you talk about me too, you just call me 'him' and emphasize so people know you're actually talking about me." He explained. "You never refer to me by my name unless we're talking face-to-face."
Bruce looked at him carefully. "Where are you going with this…?"
Clark shrugged. "Nowhere. Just making an observation."
The billionaire sighed. "It's obvious, isn't it? I see you enough as it is, and with your hearing I don't want you to think I'm calling you over."
"I'm not a dog, Bruce." he said with a small frown. His expression then softened with curiosity. "…Is it really that bad when I'm over here? I'm respectful of your rules when I'm in costume, and despite what you might think, I don't mind spending time with you, even when the world's not ending."
The corner of Bruce's lips tugging up in amusement despite his deadpan expression. "Lucky me."
"You can be as grouchy as you want about it, but I know you like me. You would have kicked me out already otherwise."
Bruce rolled his eyes. "Believe me, I tried. You keep coming back."
He flashed him a grin. "I like bugging you."
There was another pause as the two men looked at each other.
Clark tilted his head and Bruce raised an eyebrow.
When the Kryptonian opened his arms, the billionaire stepped back and glowered at him.
"No." he growled.
"But we were having a moment…"
"Try that one more time, Kent, and I'm pulling out the Kryptonite and leaving you down here."
Clark reluctantly dropped his arms to his side. "Fine, be that way, but mark my words, we're going to have to talk about your issues one of these days."
"Better men than you have tried and failed miserably."
"I'm going to go for it anyway. But right now, let's go! Time's getting on."
Bruce turned back to the screen. "One more thing, this won't take long." He said, typing quickly on the console.
Clark crossed his arms over his chest, the playfulness from before pushed aside for the moment. "I will literally drag you away from that if I have to."
"Try it. See how far it gets you."
Clark narrowed his eyes. "I'm serious, Bruce."
He was waved off as the screen suddenly showed a satellite image of the stars with several sidebars running different kinds of data. For a several minutes, all Bruce did was stand there and stare at the image of the milky way beyond, occasionally sparing a glance at the sidebars with a thoughtful look on his face.
He would have done more but gave up when he heard Clark start humming the wedding march obnoxiously loud. "Here comes the bride…"
Bruce sighed heavily but finally relented, stepping away completely from the computer, raising his hands up in surrender. "You're damn annoying."
Clark showed signs of neither caring nor being offended as he then stepped behind Bruce and put his hands on his shoulders, steering the other man towards the stairs. "Good! Come on. You can be Batman later - much later."
"I can walk on my own."
"I'm not taking any chances. Now hustle! You're going to be late for your own wedding."
"Somehow," Bruce said dryly as they started on the steps, "I seriously doubt that."
While the two men moved up out of the Cave, however, eventually leaving it all together, for the briefest of moments, in the background, multiple dark silhouettes appeared, flickered and faded against the stars, moving steadily closer unseen…
In the West Wing…
Sitting in front of the armoire in the guest room, Diana pressed her hand against her chest, trying to calm the fluttery feeling she felt there. She started slightly when she felt a different kind of flutter lower down, she lowered her hand to her abdomen and smiled when she felt the slightest of nudges there.
Busy weaving flowers to her hair in a semi-crown at the back of her head, when Donna was finished, she took a minute to admire her handiwork.
"There," she said with a satisfied smile, as she put her hands on her shoulders, "now you're perfect."
When Diana looked up into the mirror, she reached up and touched her face, turning her head slightly to look at the intricate braiding before beaming at her sister in the reflection.
"It's beautiful." She said, laying her hand over one of Donna's. "Thank you."
Donna nodded and stepped back when Diana stood up and turned towards her other bridesmaids and Lois who was watching her.
"So," she began, "how do I look?"
Shayera walked up to the bride. "Wow…" she said, taking her hand.
"Wow?"
She nodded. "Wow." She agreed, laughing as she then put her arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. "Really, wow."
Diana hugged her back tightly.
"Di, you look great," Zatanna said as she and the others stood around her.
"One thing's missing though," Helena said, giving Shayera an amused, pointed look. "Shay, did you bring it?"
The Thanagarian perked up. "I'm insulted that you needed to ask." She said haughtily before letting go of Diana and went to the other side of the room and retrieved her purse.
Digging inside of it for a minute before pulling out what looked to Diana like a simple strip of lace.
When Shayera came back and held it out for her, she raised an eyebrow.
"It was my garter," the redhead explained, grinning when she saw the look on Diana's face. "Put that on, it's almost show time."
"Does it actually do anything?" Diana asked, holding it up between her thumb and index finger.
"It's a tradition, Di." Dinah explained as Lois and Zatanna laughed.
Shayera shook her head. "I know, I didn't get it either when it was my wedding, but what can you do about it?" she said and shrugged.
Although slightly confused, Diana accepted the explanation, and just as she finished sliding it up her leg under her dress, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." she called, running her hands over the front of her dress, smoothing it down.
She turned her head when the door opened and saw her mother and Alfred come in.
When Hippolyta saw her eldest daughter, she gasped and made her way over to her immediately.
(My sun and stars,) she said in Ancient Greek, taking one of Diana's hands in her own and gently laid the other against her cheek, (no words can do you justice on this day.)
Diana pressed her cheek against her hand and smiled. (This dress has a large part to play in that.)
Hippolyta laughed. (It's not the dress.) she said, before turning towards the other, and then normally, "You all look simply radiant."
Alfred nodded. "Truer words could never have been spoken, your Majesty."
"You're not looking to bad yourself, Alfred," Zatanna said, winking at him.
"I pale in the current company, Miss." He said smoothly before looking at Diana, his eyes twinkling, "The ceremony is about to begin shortly. Most of the guests are already seated and I've been told the minister has arrived."
"Damn, that means I should have been down there already." Lois said and looked at Diana one last time. "Di, you look beautiful, really. I'll see you in a few minutes, and in case nobody's said it already, Bruce is a lucky guy."
Diana nodded and smiled at her. "Thank you, Lois." She said and the reporter left.
"We should get going too then." Zatanna said, looking between the other bridesmaids.
"Not yet," the Queen spoke up.
"Mother?" Diana asked.
"I've been informed by Richard about a ritual where the bride is supposed to be gifted with an old and a new thing and then something blue and leant to her. We have to do that before we can proceed." She explained.
"She's right." Lois said. "You need your something old and something new-"
"And blue and borrowed." Diana continued, remembering hearing something about this as well.
"Don't worry, this won't take long." Hippolyta reassured before presenting Diana with an elegant golden chain necklace with a single, penny-sized tear-drop shaped diamond hanging from it. "Your something new."
"It was made before we left the Island." Hippolyta explained as she put it on for her. "The chain will never break and the jewel has been blessed by Hera and Aphrodite - a token of their approval."
When Diana reached up and touched it, she was surprised when she could feel an oddly comforting heat radiate from the white stone.
"Also," she said with a wry smile, holding out a beautiful, compact silver hair-comb with a dozen sapphires set around it in the shape of a flower, "Richard asked that I give this to you on his behalf - he said, and I quote, that as far as Tim knows, he's still cheap." She said wryly and shook her head. "He's very odd, that boy."
Diana laughed and bent her head slightly so that her mother could put it in her hair. "I'll have to thank him later," she said.
Shayera spoke up next. "That takes care of blue, I guess my garter could be your something borrowed?"
"I think so." Diana said.
At that exact moment, the chime of the grandfather clock down the hall echoed through the hall.
"Good heavens," Alfred said, frowning, "it's starting."
Hippolyta nodded. "Indeed."
"We'll go down with you, Mother." Donna said, briefly looking at her sister when she noticed she hadn't moved. "Diana?"
"I'll join you all in a minute." She said.
"Sure thing, Princess, no rush." Shayera joked as she and the other bridesmaids followed Hippolyta out. "We're all waiting on you."
Alfred had yet to leave yet, and when the others were gone, he turned towards the Amazon and cleared his throat slightly.
Diana looked at him. "Alfred?"
"Before we go, Miss, I was hoping I could make a contribution if you will." He said, slipping his hand into his jacket's side pocket and pulled out a delicate silver bracelet. "Something old from an old man." He explained, he walking up to her and held out his hand in permission.
She offered him her right hand. "You're not old, Alfred, you're timeless."
He chuckled as he busied himself with the task at hand. "I'm afraid it's not bulletproof," he joked, "but I hope you'll accept it as a gift nevertheless."
When he was done, Diana raised her hand and examined it carefully. "It's beautiful."
He made a low, thoughtful humming noise and nodded. "It was my mother's."
She blinked before staring at him. "What? No… Alfred, I can't accept this." She began.
"Oh, hush." he said, chiding her gently.
"But something like this is priceless."
"I know. That's why I'm giving it to someone I know will appreciate it… But, if it makes you feel any better, Miss, I have an entirely selfish reason for doing this as well."
"…I don't believe you."
"It's true." He said with an amused twinkle in his blue eyes.
"And what would that be?"
"When I inherited that bracelet from my mother - and this was long before I came to Wayne Manor, you understand - I always intended to give it to my daughter one day so that she may in turn give it to hers."
"Alfred…"
"Keep it, Miss. It's been gathering dust in my closet for years, and today, finally, I have the best excuse to take it out again."
Diana smiled again before she could stop herself.
Satisfied that she finally accepted his gift, Alfred stepped back. "Then, with that settled, I suppose we'd better get downstairs."
Before he turn away, he felt Diana's hand on his upper arm.
"Miss Diana?"
"Alfred, can you do me a favour?"
"Miss, the time-"
"Please?"
His shoulders sagged and he sighed. "Certainly."
"I understand that it's a tradition that the father of the bride accompany her down the aisle… I don't have a father."
He hesitated. "Miss…?"
"Alfred… will you give me away?"
His eyes widened, struck speechless until, after several heartbeats, he managed to regain his usual composure.
When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "I… I would be honoured." He said, offering his arm.
Diana linked her arm with his without a second thought, and together, they walked out.
The Ceremony…
Despite outwards appearance, there was an odd little knot in Bruce's chest he didn't particularly like. It was five past four already, and while all the guests were seated (except Alfred, oddly enough), the double doors at the end of the aisle remained closed.
It did not bode well.
"She's a bride, Bruce," Clark said, doing his part to lighten the mood, "she's supposed to be late."
Bruce ignored him.
Two more minutes passed in anticipation until finally - finally - he noticed the doors open just a crack and Shayera stuck her head out. Their eyes met briefly, and with a quick grin and a nod between them, the knot in Bruce's chest loosened and he let out the breath he wasn't even aware he was holding.
He signaled the string quartet in the corner, and when the music started playing, the chatter down until the doors opened.
When the bridesmaids came out, Zatanna first, then Helena and then Dinah in that order, there was an appreciative murmur among the civilian guests. When Donna came out, there were a few visible double takes, but, in the end however, it was Shayera who drew the most attention because of her wings.
One for one, each of the bridesmaids took their places near the alter and the music stopped.
Bruce caught the smug look on Shayera's face and raised an eyebrow at her. The Thanagarian just kept smirking and shook her head.
Several heartbeats later, the Wedding March started and Bruce felt Clark nudge him in his side.
Bruce turned his head, and when he did, his mind came to an abrupt, screeching halt. He would have been alarmed by this if he wasn't completely enraptured by the woman- no, the goddess - walking at Alfred's side.
The dress was similar to a full length Greek chiton with the slightest hint of a train trailing behind her and flattered every feminine curve and line. The silky, white material flowed like water with every step she took and contrasted stunningly against her flawless, sun-kissed skin, and while it covered her chest, Diana's shoulders and the length of her back was bare… a fact which was emphasized as she wore her hair up.
After what felt like an excruciating amount of time (although in reality it couldn't have taken more than two minutes), Diana and Alfred eventually reached the altar.
Diana turned to Alfred briefly and kissed him on the cheek, whispering something as she did.
Despite his impressive poker face, the look in Alfred's eyes gave him away. "No, my dear, thank you." He said and dropped his arm.
As he and Bruce shook hands, a silent message passed between them.
The old man smiled. Look after each other.
Bruce nodded. Always.
Once Alfred took his seat and Diana handed her bouquet to Shayera, Bruce held out his hand. She took it immediately and held it firmly.
"You are breathtaking." He said and meant it.
This was really happening…
He could care less that he was being watched by most of the League. He'd strike the fear of God into all of them later, but for now, Diana answering smile was enough to light up the Gotham skyline and then some, and for the second time in ten minutes, his mental faculties upped and quit on him.
The minister's speech was short without being abrupt, sweet without being nauseatingly so, and to the point without being too blunt.
In the middle of it, however, Bruce noticed the look that passed between Diana and Clark and raised an eyebrow.
Diana squeezed his hand back, but it didn't escape his notice how every now and then she would look around herself, or how tense Clark suddenly got next to him.
And, unfortunately, as Bruce started looking around, they weren't the one ones…
Distracted, she didn't hear when the minister addressed her.
"Diana of Themyscria, do you take this man at your side as you lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live, until death do you part?"
No response.
"Diana?" There was a slight, awkward pause until the minister called to her. "Diana?" he said again, a little louder this time.
Her head snapped back to him. "Mmm…? What?"
A low murmur went through the guests and Bruce was tempted to glare at them.
"I'll ask again." The minister said after he cleared his throat. "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
There was a pause again, but just as Diana was about to answer, there was a strong wind and, afterwards, an odd, low humming Bruce couldn't place.
The noise grew louder and louder until a loud gasp and shriek broke through the murmuring of the crowd and the whole area was covered in a huge shadow.
Without warning, a beam of bright red light shone down on them. Bruce held his hand over his eyes and was able to make out the body of an aircraft of sorts against the sky. He looked on the ground and saw that the beam had a narrow span, and only shone down on Oliver, John, Clark, himself and Diana.
He tensed, however, when the humming increased - the air suddenly crackled with energy, and without thinking, he turned to Diana and pushed her out of the red light.
Diana gasped in surprise. "Bruce-!"
Seconds later and a thunderous boom and everything went white.
"Me and Valentina went down to the chapel but the gates were shut -
I had my vows in my pocket and a gold plated ring for my honey love.
We headed down Tropicana to the corner with the late night restaurant -
We sat across from each other, when I looked in her eyes there was something gone..."
"Was it something that I said or did?/Was it something that I should have kept hid?
If you leave me hanging I don't know what I'll do.
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right/In the clear of the blue moonlight -
You got me on my knees, Valentina, this is not like you."
- Brandon Flowers, 'Was it Something I said?' Lyrics
"So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?"
"Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated."
― Rusty Fischer, Ushers, Inc.
A/N: Well… how about that… Now. If you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go hide in my bunker and pray none of you actually find me in real life and kill me.
There ARE typos in here… I just don't give a flying leap right now.
[On a side-side note… saw the Batman/Superman: Dawn of Justice preview. Among other things but most importantly, while a few things have gotten my VERY excited, I pray they won't kill off Lois like they did Rachel in The Dark Knight - if they do just to get Supes and Wondy together, I will swear off DC forever - for-evaaaaa - and before you ask, YES, I'm being completely serious now. I will cross over to the Dark Side (aka Marvel) and possibly get Twitter just so I can bitch about it over the internet (I abhor social networking, so 'tis a drastic step indeed)… Also, let's hope the movie doesn't suck apples and oranges, mm? Have to wait until the 26th of March before I can do anything though…]
I have class in about… oh, four hours (it's two in the morning now). That's going to be fun to wake up.
Review wise… sorry, I'll be witty later. Now, I sleep.
Goodnight to you all! Adieu!
Until Next Time,
GoddessofDawn out