A/N: TPOV
A/N #2: Now the story is going to get a LOT better. And more interesting. Please feel free to review, you're getting 10 chapters every week until Christmas!
Tonks listened intently as Severus described Occlumency and what needed to be done. Looking into his eyes as he spoke, she hadn't realized until he leaned in, his breath and words caressing her ear, how close he had become.
"As for the other types of training, Nymphadora, I sincerely suggest that you not pursue that avenue with me. It was a most prurient offer that I should have never made to you."
Her brow creased in confusion; he still hadn't stated what types of training he hadn't meant to offer. She felt his light touch as his hand traveled through her hair.What is he…Aaah! A sharp pain went through her as his hand fisted in her hair, pulling it back sharply. That pain conjured a wave of conflicting emotions within the young witch. She wanted to fight and push him away. She wanted to flee and never return. But as her head was pulled back, she became caught in his intense gaze, bare inches from her own. Her mind filled with the image of a young bird, stunned and caught within the gaze of a snake. She fully understood the threat in becoming that bird, but as his lips continued to move and his words registered, she couldn't help but become even more hypnotized.
"I am a man who has learned how to mix pleasure and pain to become something that most people never get to experience, and it would be a shame to whet your desire for something so dark only to leave you feeling so unfulfilled with mundane lovers."
It wasn't until he let go and backed up slightly that she felt she could truly breathe, realizing her breath was now coming in small short pants. The spell had broken only a fraction with the added distance and Tonks really couldn't decide if she mourned the loss or was thankful for it.
"And as much as I might enjoy having you collared and at my feet, begging for me to give you sexual release, I doubt that Remus would approve of such an... unconventional arrangement."
Her eyes widened again, almost as much as they had when he had pulled her hair. The image from the other day of her in a collar went racing, unwelcomed, through her mind. At the mention of Remus, Tonks wanted to protest, wanted to shout that, as of earlier this evening, she didn't give a blast-ended skrewts arse what Remus would or would not approve of. However, she found that her mouth had gone completely dry. Her tongue darted out of her mouth trying to recover her voice.
Before she could say anything, in a rush of black billowing robes, Severus disappeared out the door. The bang of the solid wood door making contact with the stone was enough to snap Tonks back into reality as she spun around in time to see the last of him retreat around the corner. What the hell was that!? And why do I find myself asking that every time he is around!? Everything she had been through and accomplished in the last few days washed through her forcing her to take a step back, leaning up against Severus' desk for support. Noticing the glass of firewhiskey at her side she picked it up and took another sip, feeling like she needed it now as much, if not more than she needed it earlier.
I doubt that Remus would approve of such an... unconventional arrangement… I am a man who has learned how to mix pleasure and pain to become something that most people never get to experience… it would be a shame to whet your desire for something so dark… I doubt that Remus would approve. Severus' voice played on loop through her mind as she tried to sort it all out. She stared out the door that he had so abruptly retreated through. She knew she should do the same, that any sane person would do the same. However, along with Severus' voice mixed the words from Remus' letter and their previous arguments, all variations of the same line "I am too dark and dangerous for you." Tonks' lips thinned into a sharp line. Remus said she couldn't handle dark and dangerous and Severus had all but dared her to try. Can't handle dark and dangerous, can't I? Watch me!
At that precise moment all she cared about was proving them both wrong. She was one of the youngest aurors in history, typically chose looks for their ability to stand apart in a crowd, and had not been made a prefect while at school due to her inability to behave. What about her told anyone that she wanted a life of safe, secure and boring she had no idea.
Even as part of her dug in her heels, determined to wait for Severus to return, refusing to be scared off so easily, the rest of her mind countered with the images and acts he suggested…pain and pleasure, her wearing a collar, her at his feet, begging for release. She finished the whiskey, steeling her nerves. Crossing her arms over her chest as the amber liquid burned its way down her throat, she silently watched the door. After what was likely only ten minutes of waiting and a thousand rounds of second guessing, she couldn't take being still any longer. She began looking around the room, walking carefully and refusing to touch anything, terrified she would trip, slip or otherwise end up breaking something. Numerous antique scales and calipers that had long since been retired from use littered the shelves accompanying various items, most of which she didn't want to identify, in glass bell jars. Tonks paused at a large bookshelf, remembering a friend of hers from Ravenclaw making the off-handed comment that one could tell so much about a person from what was on their personal bookshelf.